744. Q&A: Wanting More

The biggest businesses can start with one hour or even just a great side hustle can start with one hour a day. And what we do with that hour though is we tend to like overthink and we don't actually take action in that hour and it's just like get out of your own way, let it be messy. Know that we are all just a bunch of toddlers running around trying to figure it out.

Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of Light Pink, best selling author, three time fitness world champion, and I'm a crazy, multi passionate entreprene. My journey has taken me everywhere from being a broke waitress, barista, retails associate and personal trainer with massive anxiety and no belief in myself to later becoming a multi millionaire in love with my life. In 2007, my husband and I lost everything. We found ourselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt at rock bottom. We had no ideas and I had no education to fall back on. This is when I found personal development and lear I could about business, not by choice, but because I realized no one was coming to save me. The conversations on this podcast are going to let you know that you're not.

Alone and that we all feel like we don't know what we're doing.

We're going to give you the tools to help you face your fears, take action, start your business, and grow those massive dreams that are keeping you up at night. It's time to create a life that you can't hide from and put so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. You're going to stop waiting for someone to approve of you and you're going to anoint yourself. Because I'm obsessed about building businesses that.

Give women a platform.

I want to feature you. So if you text the word podcast to 310-496-8363, you can get your questions answered on our Q and A segment along with a shout out. And if you rate, review and subscribe to this podcast, we're choosing someone every month to get coached and featured on our show. It just might be you. So let's get started.

Evans welcome back to Questionably Awesome. I'm so excited to be sitting here with you again.

It is an honor and a joy to be here on this zoom with you.

You know, it really is like I so Evans and I had to. We had to skip a couple shows which we don't normally do. So don't tune out, keep coming back. It's not the norm, but I really.

Missed it I did too, because it's fun to connect every week. And also, I laugh a lot.

I laugh so much. And it just really, like, it's my part of the day where I'm like, oh, my God, I love that we can switch gears and just go into joy. And that is a. Like, I think we've been trained with it now with this. Like, you just kind of have to turn it on and drop in. But that's a superpower that I think a lot of us can. Can use and do. Like. Like, you know what? I'm just gonna choose joy over this bullshit right now.

Oh, man. And I need to do that more because it's a lot. It's a. Life is a lot better when you just choose the joy, honestly.

What else is there? I mean, for real, when there's a lot of stress and just crap is going down, like, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do?

Like, what are you gonna do?

We're gonna die someday, everyone. Like, some sooner than others. So how do you want to spend this day?

Oh, I. Who was talking about that recently? About, like, this could be tomorrow, could be my last day. I could have like five more days, 10 more days. He was talking about, like, counting the days you've been living. This is kind of morbid, but it's also helpful.

Yeah, I think it's super helpful. I will say, you know, not to bring it to a non joyful place because we're going to bring it back up. But I will say losing someone that you are so close to makes you realize how foolish you were on the days of stressing over small things. Like, because even Chris and I were on a walk this morning and, you know, he was kind of stressing out. He's like, oh, my God, I have nine zoom calls in a row. Like, nine coaching calls. That's nine hours. I was like, okay, that's a lot. And remember this last summer when we said, like, we would gladly trade any of those days and we'd be in hog heaven to, like, have your. Your dad back and still have those days, you know, like, it just makes you go, oh, God, that is nothing. Like, that's just. Yes, it's. It's totally okay to acknowledge that that is a busy day and that we're so freaking blessed to be alive and have a roof over our heads right now, because a lot of people don't have that. So, you know, I don't want to sweep over, like, acknowledgement of stressful or busy days, but also let yourself have that moment, but only let it be a moment. Like, don't live there because that's just, that's a wasted life. It's totally a wasted life. So there's so much joy even in small things. And like, holy shit, my blender works. Like, don't you love having blended things?

Yes. And can I just say, when you get new blender blades, it is like.

Oh, it's the real deal. I think there's a lot of people out there with dull blender blades and they don't even realize how chunky their shake is. And it's like your life could be better, but you're like not doing the work to get those. That new blade.

That is true.

It's like a dull razor for your.

Armpits and like your, even your bikini area. Like, if I'm using a dull air, like a dull blade on the bikini area, I'm just being lazy. Like, I'm literally just like, yeah, I'd rather take this blood and speed bumps. Like, then step out of my shower wet and get the fresh blade. Like, that's laziness. I'm choosing pain and cuts over going and just making it happen.

I do that too. And it's like, oh, I'll just get it out the next time I shower.

You don't.

You don't do it.

You know, I have been so much like, lately, I've just been Mel Robbins ing it. Like, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, go do the hard thing. Because I'm like, this is like, you got to not spend as much time in the pain of your brain. Like, I'm kind of acknowledging when I'm like, you're choosing this, you're choosing this. You're literally choosing this. Go do the thing. It's five seconds. Like, so that's been huge for me. Like, I was on a, on the treadmill the other day because it's hot as hell here. And I tried to run outside, but I was on the treadmill and I'm like, this is hard. And it was only 30 minutes and it was like a really low mileage, like, meaning like low speed run. And I was like, look at what you're choosing for yourself. Like, don't you want better for your brain? Don't you want to look at this in a different way? And I was like, I'm so proud of you. This is only 30 minutes. This is earning back your entire day. You're going to feel so good. Like, this is not just about today. This is about your long term health. This is about like Longevity of your life. This is. And I was like, oh, this is a way better choice. This feels so much better than being a little baby on the treadmill.

But it's so easy to be the baby, isn't it? Yeah.

When have you chosen to be a baby? Lately?

Oh, all the time. Especially when I. All the time. So doom and gloom lately. And then it's like, who was I talking to? Someone I just met here. And she has a really positive outlook on things. And she was just saying, like, it could go this way or it couldn't. It could go like a whole nother beautiful way. And you just. You keep focusing on, like, it could be terrible and everything's gonna not work out, or it could work out and be wonderful.

And from what I've really learned, it usually works out when it doesn't. If you tried, and you keep trying, even if it doesn't work out, it works out better for something that you didn't have an expectation on. And so I think that's, you know, honestly, that is why that's a huge mantra for us that this or something better is. It's like, yeah, it might not work out, and if not, it means something better is waiting to work out. But you gotta put all your energy into the things that you have to put all of your energy into the ideas that. That, like, you're getting and that feel good. And I don't even want to say feel good. I feel like that's such a tough thing to. To explain. On the things that you should act on. You should act on the things you're interested in and that you feel pulled towards and they're not going to feel good. Like, once you get started, they actually feel pretty terrible. Like, tell me about starting your blog. You wanted to start your blog, and then when you started it, did it actually feel good? No.

Because you're afraid. You're like, are people gonna read this? And then they're gonna see a misspelling and then they're gonna think I'm dumb.

And then they might say something, and sometimes they do, right?

And then my whole world will crash down, but it never does.

Never do. You remember when we started this show together and we got, like, a bad review pretty quickly, and you came in and you were just, like, so distraught about the review and how you thought you were ruining the show and, like, you shouldn't do it anymore. And it was like, do you laugh at that now? Like, do you see how silly it is? Because I've done the same thing, so I'm not laughing at you. I do it all the time, but I can look back and go, I mean, that was very real for you, right? Like, you had a full day or two of very real realness of how awful it felt. And for sure this had to be wrong and like, like probably not wanting to do it in all of the things. So we have to remember we're also tested with things like that in the beginning. And I know that some people are like, you know, it's not a test. It's just life. It just happens. And yes, that is true, but from my experience, I find that you will be tested to remind you, like, this is normal. And it also gets you really aligned and clear on, you know, do you want to do this? Because I think small tests like that, like, knock off the people who don't have it in them to come back and what happens. It's so sad because when you come back, it doesn't really. We didn't really get much things like that after that at all. And if we did, we were able to more laugh them off because we already experienced one and we're like, okay, we're not gonna let ourself get this bent outta shape out of these anymore. So I just think it's like the reminder, yeah, you're gonna get those things right away, and if you don't, Godspeed, you'll get them later. But don't sit in the fear of when is it coming? Like, I think that's what a lot of us do. And I've done it before too. Like, oh, God, I can't start this because when is this gon coming? And it's like, if it comes, you'll get through it. Even though I want you guys to think about the worst things that you've seen online this last year of things that have happened to people. And it's like, they've gotten through it. They've literally. They're either coming out of it or they've gotten through it or they're better because of it. Like, there's a lot of people I follow who had, you know, just. Just crazy stuff happen or they lost their businesses or whatever. And they're like, it actually was a blessing because I learned this and I, you know, I learned this lesson or I became even better or I knew what to say or what not to say, or I, you know, it brought this amaz awareness or these people into my life or whatever that is. And so you have to trust and believe that it will be better no matter what happens. Even if it feels pretty traumatic in the moment, it will get better. There's nothing that can take you down. There's only things that can make you better.

You know, I've been hanging out with a lot of people in their 70s lately, like Adam's parents. I love this, and I kind of want to get to their level of they have a. I'm sure this will obviously come in time, but there's something to be said about having a level of confidence and comfort in your own skin to try the things. And they're, like, not afraid just to say or do things because they're just comfortable in who they are and where they are, and that's a good place to be.

And I love that you're seeing that, because that is simply from experience of doing things and seeing things and being like, look, I mean, I guarantee if you sat with them and asked them about the theory of, like, do you believe that everything is just going to turn out or everything's going to be okay? Like, they'd probably. Multiple stories about how you just get through it. Like, you know, again, referring back to, like, my worst nightmare was losing somebody really close to me, and it happened. And it's like, we got through it. It didn't feel like it, and it was traumatic, and it's horrible, and I, like, don't wish it upon anyone. But you get. Somehow. Somehow your cells recalibrate and heal and you get. You have so many amazing people around you, and you get through it. So no matter what happens in your business or your life or someone bullies you or does something online, you get through. You get through it. So it's just the remembrance that you're going to come out the other side. It's just time. It's literally time and people and talking and sharing what you're going through. So I think that's the one thing I would say is if that's your fear, like, remember that you need to share it with people and you won't go through it alone. So I think that's so important.

What a beautiful message.

What's our next step here? A review.

A review. The review is from Amanda, and Amanda says espresso, like, jolt of motivation. Oh. She says sometimes you just need a little gut punch to keep moving towards your dreams. And Lori gives that to you and more. The way she hones in on a specific topic and delivers massive value in under 20 minutes continues to blow me away. The combination of inspiration and empathy is why I keep coming back. Highly recommend.

Oh, my God, I love her. Were we talking about coffee shops on this one, or was that the last one?

That was the last one.

That would have been. That would have been a pretty funny fit. Thank you so much for that review. That is, like, honestly the highest. Just honor to be able to speak to someone like you and to hear, like, I'm words of affirmation. So thank you. All day long, like, amazing. Made our day so special. Do you want to make up a quote, Evans? Because we didn't get one. So. Yeah, give me a nugget. I'm literally putting her on the spot.

My quote is, when you go into the forest, dance around and see what's.

Around you, it's actually horrible.

With such great wisdom. Like, literally, it's really great wisdom. So if you are. I'm being so real right now. Like, if I'm ever having a bad day, I highly recommend the forest. And being an observer. She's dying laughing.

This is the worst thing I've ever said.

Being an observer, You're. You're gonna, like. I pray that you let this go. Because I actually think it's amazing. Because they say that the people who are in nature and are actually in awe and wonder are the people who. Like, that helps get rid of stress fastest and, like, calms your nervous system down. So well done tapping into.

Well done.

Tapping into your own intuition of not even knowing what you were gonna say. Now in hopes of saving myself from a statement that could just go completely crazy. I'm just gonna say something I already said. And that's. No matter what, you're gonna get through it. And maybe don't put the, like, you're like two likes in there. Cause that makes me sound like a Valley Girl. If you quote that. And I know you're not gonna quote it. Cause it's not that great. So no matter what, you're gonna get through it. Do we have a question?

Oh, my cheeks hurt. Yes. And that was my cheeks. Not my butt cheeks.

Your butt cheeks. My butt cheeks from clenching. I've had too much espresso.

Okay, okay. For real, Lori. Let's be serious.

Let's give them some value. Come on.

Okay, this is from. Okay, this is from Janine Reader. And Janine has a short question, but I feel like it's a really good one. She says she's stuck with her job. My heart wants more.

Love this.

I love it. Because she feels stuck.

I totally. That's. You know what? Less is more so. And that's the truth. I'm learning that. I'm trying to put A message on the back of a can right now. Okay. On the reading my light pink can with my company, I have to write.

This message and I have all of.

The words and they're like, no, less. It's too much. I'm like, how do I put my life story into three sentences? So anyway, I really, I take this one from Reader. So less is more. Thank you for that today, Janine Reader. Okay. With that said, you feel stuck. You have so much more. Okay. So there is a place in your life where you have to get really deeply grateful for what the current, your current situation is supplying you with. So we can't go leap into the next thing unless you can. Unless you have someone who can support you or you have something in the bank that allows you to be supported. But it sounds like if you feel stuck, you do not have those things. So with that said, stuck is just a feeling. It's not a place. It's literally just a feeling. Because there is multiple actions that you could take that you are not currently taking. And that's the first empowering thought that you can grab onto. And don't let it be disempowering by like, oh, I'm not taking these actions well. I don't have time for it. I'm too tired. That is all true. And if you want to get outside of the feeling of unstuck, you have to take new action.

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Which means it doesn't mean 10,000 things every day. It means at minimum an hour every day of something different to get yourself out of it. Meaning a side hustle or research on what a side hustle could look like and not putting some huge goal. We actually had a girl in our mastermind the other day who was like I'm stuck in my current job and I only have X amount of hours every day, maybe an hour every day to be putting into my new business that I want to be acting like a million dollar business. And I'm like I know you want this million dollar per year business, but right, just need to get out of your job. So you need to look at this as more of a 25k business. Like, set that goal and what are the actions that you would take to make 25k in 6 months? And that was like, oh, okay, well that makes me feel like those are more doable actions or 25k in a year. Right? Like, and once you prove to yourself that you know how to do that and you set up that schedule with your current job, then you learn like, oh, I might have a little more time here, or now that I have this money, I can delegate. Now I can hire someone to do this while I go do something else with these hours. So that's the mindset that you need to start looking at. I could go really far in depth to this, but I think just looking at your current situation and saying, I'm not stuck. And now I'm going to spend one hour a day researching what a side hustle could look like. Because there's a ton of people who have their normal nine to five jobs or whatever you work who start, you know, side hustles or get enough money to pay or delegate somebody to start doing that work. Whatever that was, that's great.

I liked it because there are two things that stood out. One, you shifted your perspective on where you currently are to gratitude. And then two, instead of being like, I have to do this amazing thing and make a million dollars tomorrow, you're like, where can I start today? I can have one hour to do this thing.

And it really is you guys. The biggest businesses can start with one hour or even just a great side hustle can start with one hour a day. And what we do with that hour though is we tend to like, overthink and we don't actually take action in that hour. And it's just like, get out of your own way. Let it be messy. Know that we are all just a bunch of toddlers running around trying to figure it out. Like, if. If people are in a new business, they don't know what they're doing. I promise you, I literally don't know what I'm doing every day. And I'm learning something new in every single moment. And that's why they say, like, fail faster. You're making choices based off of not enough information. And so you make the best worst choice. I always think of that. I'm like, well, I don't feel like there's a good choice for me here, so make the best worst choice. So a lot of times right now, my choices are, what's the fa. Like, what makes me move faster? And that's not a great decision making process. Like, so you know, I'm failing. I'm also failing, but that's like a part of. That's a part of it. I'm failing, but then I'm winning because I'm learning how to not fail again. So I wasn't laughing at you.

Just the way it came out made me laugh.

I am failing. So, yes, you can laugh at that. I laugh at it daily. Like, oh, wow, okay, that was a bad choice, but now the good one's clear. Totally, absolutely. But I hope that you're picking up that I'm saying that with grace. I've had to get to a place where I'm just giving myself grace, knowing that that is the learning process. Kids, don't start walking and fall down and be like, you stupid asshole idiot. You're totally effing up in front of your grandpar. Nana and Papa are watching and you're effing everything up. You suck at this, you idiot. God, don't even take another step. Don't even take another step, Roger.

Nana and Papa are watching.

You'll probably go on Instagram now looking like a complete failure. A hole. You're never going to make it to college.

No, Roger, don't be so hard on yourself.

Baby Roger, just because you have an adult name doesn't mean you have to show up as one. God, the Raj. Keep it. Keep it walking, you know?

Yes, yes.

The Rochester. Exactly. One step at a time, everyone. God, don't be like Baby Roger. Okay, all right. Got any wisdom nuggets to drop on us? Because we're going to close this out with a bang.

I don't know if there's any more I can say after Baby Roger just took the show. I'm just trying to do as good as he does. Don't be so hard on yourself.

That's it. All right, everyone. Thanks for showing up, and good luck with everything and good luck with life. So we'll see you next time.

Bye.