746. Coaching Call with Corey Phelps, Founder of Cultivate by Corey

But I think it's really important to listen to figure out what your objectives are for the company and what they're excited about. Like they may be excited about something completely opposite than you, then you're trying to enroll them on a vision that they're like, I'm not really excited about that, but I am excited about the potential of this. So I think listening more as the front face of the company is one of the most powerful things that you can do.

Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of Light Pink, best selling author, three time fitness world champion, and I'm a crazy, multi passionate entrepreneur. My journey has taken me everywhere from being a broke waitress, barista, retails associate and personal trainer with massive anxiety and no belief in myself, and to later becoming a multimillionaire in love with my life. In 2007, my husband and I lost everything. We found ourselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt at rock bottom. We had no ideas and I had no education to fall back on. This is when I found personal development and learned everything I could about business. Not by choice, but because I realized no one was coming to save me. The conversations on this podcast are going to let you know that you're not alone and that we all feel like we don't know what we're doing. We're going to give you the tools to help you face your fears, take action, start your business, and grow those massive dreams that are keeping you up at night. It's time to create a life that you can't hide from and put so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. You're going to stop waiting for someone to approve of you and you're going to anoint yourself. Because I'm obsessed about building businesses that give women a platform. I want to feature you. So if you text the word podcast to 310-496-8363, you can get your questions answered on our Q and A segment along with a shout out. And if you rate, review and subscribe to this podcast, we're choosing someone every month to get coached and featured on our show. It just might be you. So let's get started.

I was really excited to see your message come through and just what you're up to. And I would love to. First of all, first of all, here's what I really want to ask. I just asked her this. I was like, are you, are you nervous at all? Are you used to doing this or what? Because she just seems super like cool as a Cucumber, how are you feeling? Tell everyone how you're feeling.

You know, I'm feeling really good. Of course I'm a little nervous. It's like an amazing conversation we're about to have. So I'm feeling it.

I always. It's so funny. People are like, oh, I'm nervous. I'm like, I'm always nervous. Like, I'm nervous before every single person that I talk to, every single interview. And then you just kind of end up. You end up dropping in when the conversation starts flowing. So I'm super excited. Just know that I'm always nervous and I'm right there with you.

But I would love for you to.

Share with everybody what your business is right now and how that got started. I also know that you had some pivots during COVID like everyone. So if you want to share a little bit about that as well.

Yeah. So right now I have added a branch to my business. It's called the Amplify her collective. But yes, I definitely did have some pivots. My business was based in fitness for a very, very long time. And like so many of us during COVID when it hit, things kind of had to shift and change and I had to recenter myself, which is how I ended up opening up this new branch of my company, which is designed to support women and empower them and stepping into really the lives that they're meant to live. I fully believe that women can have it all, the relationships, the business, all of it. So it's designed to support women in building dream life, dream business, dream income. Mm.

Okay, so amplify the Amplify her collective started during COVID It did. So before that you were a fitness brand that did what, like online? Tell me about that.

While I was in person and online coaching that was cultivate by Corey, which is still in existence, just kind of just winding down a little bit and moving more into the amplifier branch of my business now. And that I had a brick and mortar business where I had. It was a full, full blown pilates studio with nutrition coaching and yoga and personal training. And I got so burnt out, which pushed my business online and found out that that can sometimes burn you out too.

Yes, they both can equally burn you out. And they're both great and beautiful lessons. Right. So what were you doing before? Were you always in fitness or what were you doing even before that?

So was fitness the dream before that.

Was the brick and mortar, the dream and the dream. So the reason I'm asking is because just talking about how Much. The dream changes as you move through them.

Well, back in college, having a gym really was my dream, but I had my daughter when I was in college, my third year in college, so that put a little bit of a halt on the way that my life. I thought things were gonna go. So once I had her, I actually sold real estate for about seven years because everyone was like, you need a flexible job. You need to make a lot of money. And I was. I did that for a while, and I really was just not meant to do that at all. I cried a lot, and at some point, I was like, if your job makes you cry most days, you should probably. You should probably reassess.

Yeah, I had one of those jobs, for sure, where I was like, I'm literally crying, like, every single week. So, yeah, absolutely. Okay. So then you moved from real estate into fitness. The dream was the brick and mortar. You realized quickly, oh, my God, I'm super burnt out because I'm trading time for money. And then did the vision, like, from there, did it grow, or did it feel like a natural thing to be doing, just going online? And I want to know where the personal development piece came into that. Why did that start calling you?

It was definitely a natural progression, because if you're trading your time for money, it was like, how am I going to still do the thing that I love, but reach more people and become more efficient with my time? Little did I know what I was getting into when I. When I jumped into that world. So the personal development piece came with that. Diving into masterminds, reading tons of books, just trying to get my hands on anything that I could possibly get my hands on to help build my business. And I also learned along the way that this journey we're on, entrepreneurship really is a huge mirror. And most of the blocks that I was coming up against weren't strategy issues. They were, like, me issues.

Tell me about some of those.

Oh, goodness, imposter syndrome to, like, the hilt. And massive comparison. Like, I was just consistently comparing myself to everyone else. Although when I was doing it, it was, oh, I'm looking at this person's Instagram for inspiration. And then diving down that just deep, dark hole of, like, oh, I'm never going to be good enough. Yeah. Oh, those were definitely top things, which made me so paralyzed in showing up and speaking and being really authentic in my. In my own truth.

Tell me about. Because I know so many people are in your exact shoes right now where they're like, she's doing it better. It's so Oversaturated. What are people going to say? Like, can you name some of those exact fears that you had that were kind of like slowing you down and stopping you?

Oh, yeah. I feel like I would sit up at night in my bed when you're like, what was I Googling? Step out of that. Oh, my gosh. Like, how to. How to show up powerfully was definitely one of those things. And at that point, I didn't really want to be myself. So it was. At that point I was really trying to show up. Say all of the things that you're supposed to say. Oh, God, yes. Yeah, but. And not. Not revealing too much of myself and then really finding out that it's so much of all the stuff that we do, it's the energy behind it that it's. Geez, I don't. What were some of those. Those fears? Just really. When I was in fitness, I always really struggled with showing up and being judged for your body. Like, were you going to be skinny enough? Were you. Did you have enough muscle definition? Should I be eating that? If I was being authentic online, I might have showed myself eating French fries. And God forbid you. You show, you know, eating a French fry when you're in fitness, totally being in those pieces of alignment. Right? Like, being authentic. But I don't know.

I love, I love that you just mentioned, you know, like, literally Googling how to show up. Like, how. What are you supposed to say? I remember, like, before my first Bliss project, I literally went to a coach and was like, you need to help me with an outline. Like, I can't. I need you to tell me what to say. And they were like, okay, well, you love this, and you could say this and do this and do this. So I literally, with someone, mostly them, came up with the entire outline in all of my PowerPoints. And then I think it was three nights before bliss Project. It somehow got lost. Everything was lost. A whole, like, week of. Of prep that I had paid for, like, this coaching, completely gone forever. And obviously that was one of the world's largest gifts of my entire life, was having to be like, what is Lori want to say? Like, what.

What do you.

Why did you get into this?

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It's like, and it really got me super rooted into. Into realizing I can't even imagine if I would have gotten up there and tried to follow someone else's, like, slides and ideas. But that's how scared I was of being myself. Of, like, the imposter syndrome of, we get started because we know in our intuition. And I know that you know in that you're powerful and I know that you know what you want to say, but it's just like, we can go down that rabbit hole of, like, what I say couldn't possibly be smart enough. It couldn't possibly be good enough. And the second we stray from that, we can't show up because it's not real. So if people are struggling, it's funny, I'm speaking to myself right now. Like, if I'm struggling to show up in ways, it's usually because I'm trying to say, like, I'm not saying what I actually want to say. So it's because I have to think about it, you know, and create it. So, okay, so you got into personal development. You launched the Amplify her collective. What has been one of the hardest parts of launching this? So I would say tell me the hardest part and tell me biggest lesson of launching.

Well, because in this, I felt like I had to go back to ground zero because my audience that I had had been fostering and nurturing for so long in fitness wasn't necessarily the same audience or that wasn't necessarily my ideal client anymore. So in launching it, you're like, watching your content shift and change, your messaging changing, and then watching all of your followers starting to drop off and be like, oh my gosh, am I doing the right thing? Am I saying, like, here I am showing up in my truth, speaking my truth and feeling really great about it, but then watching those numbers fall off, not feeling great about it. Yeah, not feeling so great at the moment. So really having to stay very strong in my truth and remind myself that it's the long game and you have to keep showing up and saying exactly your message and sharing it, and if you show up in that energy, it'll continue to grow.

So was that both biggest lesson as well? So that was what's the hard part? Losing people. Do you have, like, a overwhelming message for people about going for what you want, like for that what that your soul is, you know, trying to tell you, trying to direct you into.

Yeah. I think when you're, when you are following that and your intuition, that's where the freedom comes in and that's where the flow comes in. And when you can, can stick to it that you have to. It's like there's like a, like a ceiling you have to break past. And it's almost like a test from, from the universe to see if you really mean it. And when you stick and you can break past that, that's when the things start to say easy. Because I don't feel like easy is a proper word. It's that, that flow feeling of knowing that things are all headed in the right direction now. Finally.

So funny. I literally talked about this morning on my other podcast that I recorded a q and a with Evans. We were talking about that how it's. You like change these directions and you follow your gut and it feels so good. Then all of a sudden you get really tested or it's like to break through. And on the other side I literally said the same thing. I'm like, it's not that it gets easier because it really doesn't. Sometimes it can get harder.

But you.

Things fall into place and you become more capable and you just, you learn so many lessons and it becomes so clear why you did the thing that you did.

But you can't explain that to people.

Like they have to go through it themselves. And all you can tell them is like, this is probably what's going to happen and just know that it's normal. Like what's another thing that you would share with people that you would say, just know that this is normal when.

Going for your dream that your day to day life, you could feel on top of the mountain at one point in the day and feel like at the bottom of the valley in the same day and then right back on top of the mountain. And when you're in the valley, you just have to remind yourself that the top of the mountain is coming again.

No truer words. It's like, describe my day today. Ok, so what are some of the questions that you have for me?

So I mean you have built such an amazing, multiple amazing businesses and I want to know how important was it for you to tap into your network along the way to find mentors at each level to support and push you, guide you and what was really your. How did you seek them out? How did you find the right ones?

This is such A good question. You're going to. Your mind will be blown by the next week of podcasts that literally talks about your network for three podcasts in a row. So, so funny. Like, this was not planned, you guys. So this is coming out the same week that I literally talked about the network three times. And I love it. It means that this is such an important theme coming through. I'm actually obsessed with the fact that you're asking this question right now. It is literally everything. And if I could have built it even better sooner, I would have. If I could have asked more questions and just gone even bigger and gotten more brave and sent more apologetic emails in the right way, I would have, because I think I'd be even 10 years ahead of where I am now if I would have even started this five years ago. I thought I was networking five years ago, but I was meeting people. And yes, I was learning from them, but I wasn't actually using them in the most powerful way. Sometimes I would look at the people who were and be like, oh, they're annoying. Like they're. They're probably annoying them by asking those questions or by like being so persistent. Except it works. And if you do it in a positive, loving way that gives people an out, then you're doing it the right way. So I'm not being super clear with that, but I would say, you know, for finding them, there's so many different ways to find them pending on, you know, we're not. We're coming out of a Covid world right now, so we can kind of start talking about other ways of meeting in person, going to their events, potentially signing up for their coaching. In person events are really, really powerful. And I think that we can go to those and not be intentional and leave with great info, but not actually a network. So getting really intentional with the day and getting really brave and being like, okay, tomorrow I'm going to go and make this connection, tell them how grateful I am for. Let's just say it's a podcast podcaster, right? And you're at a big event, going to go introduce myself, tell them how grateful I am was for this particular podcast. And then I'm going to say, hey, I don't know if you're open to it, but it would be my absolute dream to have you on my show one day. Could I ever even. Would that ever be something that would be a possibility in the next six.

Months to a year?

Or what would that look like for you if you would come on somebody's show? What do you look for so a couple things there. You're kind of giving them an out and you're allowing them to say, hey, you know, I really only like to go on shows that are at least 10,000 downloads per show or whatever. Like, people will be really honest with you and like, getting really clear with what that ask is and also letting them off the hook, like, no worries. If not, I realize that this could feel like I'm cornering you. Totally not. Just want to put a face to the name and let you know it's my absolute dream to get you on this particular show or whatever. And I'll do everything I can to, you know, get you out to different audiences. So making sure that there's a value exchange there for them. And also that you're very intentional with those things. So having those questions and literally being like, don't chicken out. Like, you'll probably chicken out the first three times you meet someone. And then you'll be like, I'm so annoyed with the fact I haven't done this yet and that I'm not utilizing these networks and these opportunities in these moments that you'll start, you'll start doing it. You just have to make sure you give yourself enough access and opportunity. Meaning make sure that you create those opportunities for yourself by either going to those events or, you know, maybe if you knew that person was going to be at that event, maybe you DM them before to start kind of that warm intro. I've had that happen a lot without me even realizing it's happening with people. And then I've used it later. So something great to do is kind of know where you're going or know what's, you know, what you're doing in the future and start warming them up through DMs. Like, people are very aware of who's in their DMs and who are commenting on their stuff. So creating that familiarity through that. So when you meet them, you're like, hey, we've DMed a bunch. I don't know if you obviously let them off the hook. Not sure you recognize me. I'm sure you get a million DMs. But I just want to let you know, like, this is how much you impact me. And I do. I would love X, Y and Z. If not, no worries. But I wanted to put a face, an actual face to the name and just know that no matter what, we're going to keep listening, going to keep following, obsessed with you. Great. Nice to meet you. And I don't forget those people and if they have. So if Corey comes to me, you and says, you know, let's say you've warmed up through the DMs, let's say that you've met me now, if you have a program where, let's say I see you out in the world and you have an event of, you know, you're gathering, sponsoring 50 women consistently, or you have an event of 50 to 100 women more than happy to be like, oh, do you want me to sponsor you with some product? Oh, do you want me to like, sure, I'll do a 20 minute zoom into your group or whatever that is because you're doing the do. You've warmed me up. You've showed me that you like show up that you're not a stalker, that you're not someone who's going to pinpoint me and corner me and make me feel like I have to do the thing you're asking me like it's very free flowing energy and that's important to understand. If someone feels pigeonholed for any reason, they're going to avoid you.

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It at all costs. They're going to stop Even answering your DMs where like if it feels very free flowing and you give me off the like you let me off the hook, I will always answer your messages. So I think those are important things to know and I think you probably like I think most people know these things. But it's an important thing to remember that that's really impactful. So I think that's one way to create mentors. And if you're just online, it's kind the same idea, like warming them up through the comments, through the DMs and then potentially asking and letting them off the hook in the shortest version possible. When it comes to asking mentors or people for anything, less is always more and one question at a time. So if it's, especially if it's in the DMs or email, be like, I have one question. So you, you always are armed in every moment with, what is that one question? Like, if you asked me right now and I knew who I had access to, I would probably have that question ready right now, like even right in this very moment for you. Because I'm always thinking of what my one question is for when I get access to the right person.

I love that. That was a long story, Corey. That's great advice. And funny. Funny is do you remember that about a year ago we were on a Mastermind call and I asked you how someone might go about getting on your podcast? So I'm feeling like this is pretty serendipitous.

Yeah, it's amazing. Like, I know you through social media. Have we actually met in person?

Not in person, but you were speaking in a Mastermind. It was in James Mastermind.

Okay. Amazing. I'm like, see, that's. So that's how familiar people get is. I'm like, no, I'm pretty sure I've met her in person because I feel like I know you because you've shown up on my radar so many times in DMs in just different places. And because you have, there's just. It's easier to feel, like familiar. And a yes feels easier and more familiar to that. You have to remember who you're asking as a person. They want to feel, they want to feel a connection with the person that they're helping. And it's hard to feel that in the first second you meet someone and be like, I don't know if you're going to use this info. I don't know if you're going to waste my time. I don't know how you're showing up online. Like, they need a little bit of background and familiarity, even if that's just in comments or DMs.

Yeah, that's such great advice.

I love that.

Did you have another question?

I do. Okay. So you're now in this CEO role of this Big company. So what I would really love to know is that how it is that you step into that role and then actually build a team that's as invested in the mission and the dream as you are.

This is a great question. I love this question. So I think there are going to be very special unicorns along your path, and they may not be right away that are obsessed with your brand or your company, but no one is ever as invested in your company or as passionate as you are. And that's the first realization that will help you understand. It just helps release the expectation that someone is going to maybe run through as many walls as you. Because I think that's where the founder, CEO, slash entrepreneur, especially an entrepreneur. What I'm learning is that entrepreneurs with their own brands, sometimes it's more challenging to get people as passionate as you in that vision. Where sometimes I'm finding with a product brand where it's a very we conversation and you're all behind something, it feels a little easier for me to get the people who are on my team excited about that. Does that make sense?

Yeah. No, it totally does.

I just had this real. I've just been even realizing this while building this is. I had a more challenging time keeping people really engaged and excited about the Lori Harder brand. They were excited when we had an event like the Bliss Project because it was a very we energy. But when it's like booking Lori for this, and I know I'm talking in the third person and it's weird speaking from their particular voice, like, booking Lori for this or making sure Lori gets out, then they're in the world or like, that's great, but it doesn't feel as like we to them. Right. It's. It's not like, until you can figure out what you are like. I even feel like with the Amplify her collective that you have, that gives you a bigger opportunity because it's not necessarily your name. Like, it gives you a bigger opportunity for people to get all behind Amplify Her Her. Now, this doesn't. This shouldn't make anyone feel bad who has a personal brand. It's just that it's. I'm finding. And this may not be the truth, it may just be me, but I'm finding it's easier to get people enrolled into a vision of like, more like we or what are we doing or what are we pushing towards? Now, I do think you can do this with a personal brand. If it's like, you know, this Lori Harder brand will impact, you know, 1 million lives in this amount of time and this is how we're going to do it through these channels else. But collectively, it is, like, easier to do it through something that feels a little more we. Now, with that said, how do you get people excited about that? I think that it's really listening to the people. I think it's knowing what motivates them and sitting down and having that conversation sooner than later. Like, what's your zone of genius? What is your big vision for your life? And how do you see yourself best playing a role in this company? Like what. What are you most excited about? Where are your assets going to be best used? Also knowing that, you know, especially if you're a startup or you're a smaller business, like, they're going to have to wear a lot of hats, but also make sure that they are playing in the arena that they're good at. Otherwise, you're asking someone to do something that they may not even be good at, like getting really, really. Or they may like, it may drain them of energy. It may not, like, absolutely be the opposite of their zone of genius. So there's so many answers to this. I could go on and on and on with what I think the pieces are, but I think it's really important to listen to figure out what your objectives are for the company and what they're excited about. They may be excited about something completely opposite than you. Then you're trying to enroll them on a vision that they're like, I'm not really excited about that, but I am excited about the potential of this. So I think listening more as. As the front face of the company is one of the most powerful things that you can do.

Yeah, I love that. Leadership. I mean, that's such a powerful thing, being in leadership. Right? Being a good listener. Yeah.

Amen. Totally. Did you have. I'm like, we can do one other question if you have it. Otherwise, I'm going to just end with a question for you.

I have one more question queued up and ready. If you have time for it, go for it.

Let's do it.

So I'm super clear on my mission. I'm super clear on my big why. My core values, all of it. So really my question is, how do you create growth and impact while maintaining the authenticity, the integrity and the personal touch? Because I feel like I've watched a lot of brands grow and grow into this, this very big thing, which is, of course, my mission and something that I'd love to do. But as that happens, sometimes that very wonderful thing that is the beginning of a company that people really fall in love with then kind of falls away. And I would love to find a way to preserve that.

Oh, gosh. I literally. These are all things that I went through and going through, struggle with. And also, I feel so good on the other side of this one. But I went through that so much. I've actually had people, when I took the. You know how the universe kind of gives you these tests along the way of, like, okay, you just said your big goal. And I made a big goal of, like, really wanting to grow and expand. And it was before my book came out, and I had some women come up to me at one of my big events, and they're like, you know, our worst fear is that you just grow and you lose your personal touch and you lose yourself and you lose what's made you so special. And don't grow any bigger than this. They literally said that to me, and they meant well. They were, like, saying how grateful they were for how special the event felt. And they literally, verbatim were like, do not grow bigger than this, because then you'll lose your specialness. And that was just a moment for me of, like, if I grow into my dreams, into these desires that I have, people won't like me. And it was that moment of, that's not the truth. That's the test, and how is this going to look different? And also when I got clear and sat with that, it was like, I am going to lose people. But I know that my mission is to impact more people. So it's okay if I lose people, but the way that I impact and so the way that you impact and the way that things feel personal is.

Just going to have to change.

So what that means is a lot of times when you grow, Corey, you will no longer be the one making it feel personal. Your community will now be empowered because we're actually not empowering them if it's always on us. So a community that relies on you, which I had created without realizing it, was actually not very empowered because they were literally saying, like, they're relying on me for making sure that they feel supported. And that was a moment for me of realizing I haven't taught them yet that they don't need me at all, like, how to create this container. So I switched all modes to, like, you're gonna do this. Don't look at. Like, even on stage, I'd be like, look, I want you to, like, don't.

Even look at me.

Like, don't even rely on Me? Don't even. You're gonna get info from me. But you're gonna need to create this in your life, because if not, the second you leave this event or this container, the magic's gone. And that's not what we want. That's, like, not empowering at all. That's reliance. So I think it's realizing that it's going to be the most beautiful shift of empowerment. And some people aren't going to like it, who like to rely on others, who like to think their happiness relies on people outside of them. And that's okay. That's where they're at right now. But also, it might be. You might have people who get really mad at you for a year, and then it's the craziest thing. In one year, they'll come back and go, oh, my gosh. Like, I'm dealing with this in my community. And now, thank you so much for showing me how it's supposed to be and blazing the trail and, you know, not taking it personal and just letting it be okay and wow, you know, and some people will still feel bent out of shape and be pissed at you, and that's fine, too, because they find their own other things. So.

Yeah.

Did that resonate at all?

Totally. Totally. It kind of reminds me of. It's almost like. It's like growing up in business. Right. So, like, in the beginning, a lot of times, especially as coaches, we coach in a way that makes people rely on us. And as you become, like, a more skilled coach, then you realize that that's not your. That's not the role.

Right? Oh, my God. I did that, too. So did I. Yeah, absolutely. It's like. I don't know what it is. It's like, here's your roadmap of how not to be, and you follow it to a T. Well, I'm so grateful for you. I would love for people to know where they can find you, follow you.

All the fun stuff on Instagram, of course. And it's just my name, Corey Phelps, with a underscore at the end. I'm always on the gram underscore.

Okay. Amazing. You guys go check her out. Go let her know if you got massive takeaways from her insights from the podcast. And we're so grateful for you and Corey. I'm really, really just, like, so grateful for the conversation. It just always drops me right back into just all the. Of what's important and what's fun and that we're all doing it together. So thank you so much. And you guys. Until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone.