749. Q&A: Attracting Talent & Releasing Passion

So even within your passion, you're going to be excited, but then you're immediately going to have to do the work and that's going to pull the excitement away. So I need you to know you're not going to feel excited all the time about your passion.

Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of Light Pink, best selling author, three time fitness world champion, and I'm a crazy, multi passionate entrepreneur. My journey has taken me everywhere, from being a broke waitress, barista, retails associate and personal trainer with massive anxiety and no belief in myself, to later becoming a multimillionaire in love with my life. In 2007, my husband and I lost everything. We found ourselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt at rock bottom. We had no ideas and I had no education to fall back on. This is when I found personal development and learned everything I could about business. I not by choice, but because I realized no one was coming to save me. The conversations on this podcast are going to let you know that you're not.

Alone and that we all feel like we don't know what we're doing.

We're going to give you the tools to help you face your fears, take action, start your business, and grow those massive dreams that are keeping you up at night. It's time to create a life that you can't hide from and put so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. You're going to stop waiting for someone to approve of you and you're going to anoint yourself. Because I'm obsessed about building businesses that.

Give women a platform, I want to feature you.

So if you text the word podcast to 310-496-8363, you can get your questions answered on our Q and A segment along with a shout out. And if you rate, review and subscribe.

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We're choosing someone every month to get coached and featured on our show. It just might be you. So let's get started.

Hey everyone. Welcome back to Questionably Awesome Evans. I have missed you. How have you been?

I have missed you so much and I have been great.

How have you been?

So good you guys. We were going to catch up before this, but I was like, you know what, let's hit record and we'll catch up. So it's been like two weeks since I've gotten to talk to you, which just really sucks. Life just got super busy and we weren't able to connect, which is super rare. But now we're connecting and it feels amazing. It's even better than I remember.

I know. It's like a warm summer's day.

It really is what's been going on. Give me the two week summary.

Oh, my gosh. I just feel like all of a sudden we're. We're social people again and we have so many, like, real human. I've been. I've been having so many real human moments with actual people. How.

Okay, so how has it been? Have you been like, oh, this is rough, or have you applied anything that you're like, you know what? I'm gonna say no to these things. Make sure that I have recharge time, or how's that been going for you?

It's been really fun. I still feel like I don't really know how to converse properly, but have we.

Wait, have we ever. Like, I just want to be super clear. Like, have you and I ever felt like we actually are? Like, yeah, we're nailing this.

Not one single time.

No, I love you because I feel like I just resonate so much with the awkward human side of like. Which, by the way, I wouldn't know that about you at all until you tell me. And we get in small groups, like, yeah, I just. I'm reflecting back to so many times when I'm like, just come over here. I need to just, like, have you stand here. And we can be weird together.

It's the best.

It really is the best. So you feel like you still don't have the conversation thing nailed? Like, why Tell me how weird it is?

It's so weird. Like, am I holding too much eye contact? Am I saying the same thing enough? Like, I feel like I'm repeating myself a lot. And then I'm like, wait, did I already say that? Did I already ask, like, how your year was? Because people are just, we're getting back out there.

There's a lot more to talk about. It's kind of like, hey, how was your year? Instead of like, I just saw you two weeks ago, how was your year? Except at the same time, you're like, I don't know. I did the same shit you did. So I drank more, I ate more. Getting back into working out.

That's exactly it. And then when people ask you, I don't know what my answer is, because.

We all just kind of were like, I don't know. Okay? We're trying to figure it out. Like, I feel like there should just be a pass and be like, should we even have this conversation? Or do you want to have a conversation about the future.

Yes. And you've been connecting to real humans, too.

I have, and it's been so great. Yeah. And I also think that I'm applying, like, the, you know, if I don't want to do that, I'm not going to do that. And also make sure that I am connecting because it'd be really easy for me to hermit. But I'm also so aware of how important a network is, not only just for mental health, but also just for business. So to make sure that you are making those connections is insanely important. I've been talking a lot about your network and letting people know your dreams and asking the right questions, and it's the only way to move forward. And also, I know you and I share a lot in common with the. It's really easy for us to hermit, but then we can find ourselves really depressed and anxious. Like, not being around people. It's almost like we think we don't want to be around people, but then we need them. So it's finding that it's like striking that balance and figuring out what that is. Like, how many awkward conversations do I need to have to feel good mentally?

That is so true. And even I'll get. Like, I'll be working at home for so long and then I'll forget. Like, I'll get nervous about going to a coffee shop. Do you ever do that? I'm like, I'm scared. Like, I don't know how to act.

What do I do here? Like, what if my computer loses a charge? Like, there's too much risk.

There's too much.

There could be too much. What if I have to go to the bathroom and I just set up everything? Do I have to ask this stranger next to me to watch my stuff? Yeah, that's all the things we have to get back into. Yeah. Diarrhea is super normal in coffee shops especially. You don't know what kind of blend they're doing. In fact, going to the bathroom in coffee shops is literally the worst because I feel like it's people who are all blocked up and they're like, oh, you know what? I just need to go down to Joe's, get three shots of espresso and let it blow out.

And there's only one bathroom. There's always the one stall for males and females. And you're like, oh, crap.

Literally crap. And it's like, really constipated people getting their fix and being like, oh, they've got a great bathroom there. So this is why. This is why maybe we don't go out.

You know, man, I think people really have really missed this content. They're getting a lot out of it.

People have really been. They're just like, oh, finally I can play the hero in my life again and share all of these interesting, unique details. Thank you, ladies. Thank you for making me feel smarter. Hey, you got a quote.

Oh, yeah. Okay. I don't know who said this, but they said you were in the driver's seat. You get to choose. You call the shots. You can create anything you want. There's a magic in that. But it comes with two caveats. You must start somewhere, and you're the only one who can make it happen. Did you say this?

No, I did not.

Because a lot of times I'll write down your stuff. Weird. I don't know who said it.

I don't really use the word caveat too much, so that was a telltale sign for me.

Well, it could have been you. You never know.

Sometimes if the words get big, I'm like, I was starting to try to take the credit for it, and then I veered. So before.

Before I said that quote, I got on Google to the thing that you can, like, practice words on to make sure I was pronouncing it right.

Oh, I love that. I do things like that all the time, where I'm like, actually, I'm having a moment. Have I been mispronouncing this word my entire life? There are actual words that I found myself using just because I was having to have conversations a lot, talking to people this last week, and I was using words that I'm like, is that a word, or have I made that up? Like, that is just. I'll have to think of what word it was. But it was a particular word that I was like, oh, my God. I use this for a lot of things in life, and I know what it means. But do other people? Because have I. I think sometimes what we do is we take two words and we create these fake words, and we think it's the word and we're screwing it up. So if we've lost you there, it's okay. Maybe you're not our people. It's fine. You might want to tune out. Okay, so my quote again, doesn't have someone quoting it. I don't think you said it, because I just found it on a quote tile just this moment. But I do keep quote tiles from you, so, you know, I have a whole folder of Evan's quote tiles that no one has ever seen. All right, this says oh, man. This is real basic, basic, basic stuff today. Stop saying I wish and start saying I will. That's all.

That's a good one.

It is. Because don't we always go, oh, someday I would love. I wish I could have a house here. I wish I could, you know, do what she's doing. Okay, maybe I will have that one day. It's a very powerful place to come from. Because you're like, well, if I will, what would I need to start doing now? Instead of I wish is very, very passive. Like, there's a lot of things we do in life that are extremely passive. That is, like, it's just a waste of breath, a waste of time, and a waste of thought. Because if it's just gonna actually make you feel worse because you're saying it in a wishful way, you might as well just choose presence. Like, I think that's the whole thing with what I love talking about on this podcast is it's, you're not right or wrong for wanting big things or not. Like, there's no right or wrong. Where I think that people can go wrong in their lives is want, like, really desiring big things, but, like, just wishing, Wishing for it and thinking, like, saying that they can't do it or not taking the action on it. So it's kind of like, if you don't, I'm losing my train of thought. It's just like running down the tracks right now.

No, it was good. It was good.

It's essentially like, look, if you know you're not gonna take the action for the big things, like, if you kind of know that about yourself, then I actually think it's better to settle into getting present, deep into gratitude for the things that you have and. And creating dreams within the container that you know is going to be what you can achieve or what you know that you're willing to do. Because knowing what you can achieve, like, you can achieve way more than you think. It's just settling into and getting, you know, satisfied with the life that you have. If, you know you're never going to choose to take the action, does that make sense? That was, like, a very roundabout way of getting there.

It makes total sense, and it's great advice about taking that action.

Thank you for that validation. I was feeling like I was just giving bad advice, but you reminded me how great it was. Just kidding. Thanks for reminding me. Do we have a question or review?

Oh, we do have a review.

Great.

This is from Heather for the win. Ooh, yes.

Heather for the win.

Heather for the win. She says, all right, enough is enough. Whenever I've had a rough day, I open this podcast and the show speaks directly to me and my specific challenges. It's like Lori has been chilling in my brain all day, sipping on a light pink, listening to my issues, and then records exactly what I need to hear. It's insane. I have been following Lori for some time now, and while I've always loved her content, I'm in a season now as a business owner where I feel I need more alignment with her message than ever before. Thank you for showing up every day. You're doing so much good and pushing me through a mental roadblock after mental roadblock. Keep it up and thank you.

Oh, I just love her and she totally knows that I go and stalk, I drink light pink, I get super drunk, and then I go stalker. Just kidding. Kidding. I don't.

Heather for the win.

But Heather for the win.

I'm so glad that the podcast can be just a resource for you and a reminder that we're all in it together. I just love reviews and that people even take the time to send us something lovely is just the sweetest thing ever. So thank you, Heather for the win. Do we have questions from our other amazing listeners?

Yes. I'm just gonna randomly put my mouse on one. Okay. This is from Kelly Tyen. Tyhan Kelly Tyen. Yeah, she's in the network marketing space as a health coach. I'm looking to build my team with strong business minded people. How do I market this on my social. I've been coaching women in health and fitness for 15 years and I think people are a little intimidated to think they have to have my experience, but I know that's not true. How can I draw more people to my team?

And can you answer the. Or say the first part of the question one more time?

She's asking how can she market. She says she's looking to build her team with strong business minded people. And how does she market that on her social media?

Okay, so this is really interesting because network marketing is a. You know, I actually think network marketing is completely identical to building pretty much every other business that's out there. And I believe that when you are attracting people to it, you are attracting them kind of with. Okay, it is a little bit different because you also have to be. You are kind of the brand that you attract them to the company with.

So.

So I think that in order to attract business builders, you have to figure out what that type of person is looking for. So sometimes if you are Leading with the product. A lot of times that's not gonna even attract people necessarily. So even with brands, big brands that are out there, like you think of Nike, like, they're very aspirational. They are attracting people with, you know, the idea that, like, you are gonna feel strong, you're gonna feel athletic, like this is gonna make you feel a part of something. Like this is an identity. You know, if they just threw up shoes from the beginning of time and didn't put anyone in them and just said, this is our product, like, there is no identity there. So I think that you have to remember that people need to be attracted to something. So a lot of times business builders want to build a business because of a lifestyle and also because of the way it's being built. So they want an attractive meaning, they want an attractive life while they build something, it needs to look fun. And also they need to know what their reward is going to be. So I think that that is how you have to attract people. When we were attracting business builders and network marketing, we had majority of our business builders come because we were on vacations, because we were, you know, we had the houses that they wanted because we had to show or talk about what cars we were driving or how we were able to take care of our parents or how we were able to send these people on vacation or take care of this person's housing or give back in this way, those were really the things that attracted the business builders. And I get that you can't do that right away from the start, but what you can't and you're not going to be attracting depending on what level you are in your business. And I believe Kelly's been in it for a long time. But let's just talk to the beginners as well for a while. If they're like, well, then I suck at this and I can't do that, Lori, because you. I don't have the means to be doing those things yet. Yes, but you can be attracting people at your level or right behind you. So you can be. A lot of times with network marketing, you are kind of getting together at events or going on trips and things like that, which is incentivization enough for majority of smaller business builders. And then as you grow, you'll attract those other people who are bigger business builders as well. And the smaller business builders will also grow into bigger business builders. So, long story short, how do you attract those people to remember that you are the brand while you're doing that? So you have to show yourself Building the business in an attractive way. If you're just showing yourself at your computer every day, I don't want that life. I don't want to be stuck at my computer every day. Like, it's the people who, you're like, oh, oh my God. Are you in Bali? Are you, wait, where are you? Are you in California working? Are you in, you know, like even. Are you at a coffee shop? Are you working with other people? Does it look fun? Are you at a team building event? Like, what are you doing that makes this look attractive? Because nobody's ever been like, you know, what cubicle life? Tell me, tell me how to do it. Like, if people aren't attracted to my stuff, if I feel like my life is boring and my stuff is boring, that means to the external world, your shit is boring. Like, so Chris and I say that all the time. We're like, our likes are down, our story views are down, we're not attracting as many people. I'm like, I just looked at all your stuff for the past week and it's real boring. I'm like, that's why it's not the algorithm, it's your rhythm. It's bad. It's your boring ass rhythm. So long story short, Kelly, that was more me talking to myself saying, even with light pink, it's like, why aren't people joining my list? Have I talked about it? Have I made it look exciting? Have I turned it into a lifestyle? Or am I just like, buy my product, you know, or I need you to build this business Or I'm looking for business builders.

Why?

Why is that attractive for them? Like, what's the opportunity? Like, what is the value add? What are they gonna get? You know, I always think of sales copy pages. It's like, you can't talk about your, like the event of come to the event. It's this date and this date and this speaker will be here and it's at this place. Big frickin deal. How is my life gonna change? Paint the picture. Tell me about, like, what outfits I should pack. Like, literally tell me about the experience and how I'm going to transform, who I'm going to meet, how I'm going to feel, how this is going to impact my life later. Like, all posts should be around that. Like, how could this be great for my life?

Oh, that was great advice and I love paint the picture. Yeah.

Oh my gosh. I have to remember to do that. Like paint the picture or invite them into the picture, right? Like, invite them into what you're Doing and bring them along. There's always like two different paths, like bring them along for the journey so that they are learning. So you're adding value in that way. You're educating and they're learning and they're seeing or paint the picture. So you're adding value for their future as well.

So, yeah, that can be used in all kinds of hiring.

Absolutely. Like everything.

Every job. Right.

You're not going to go to a job and be like, you get. And you get this cubicle and you're going to be doing probably four to six hundred emails per day. Like, that's not really going to sell that person.

So.

That'S just a task. Should we try to answer one more?

Yes, we should.

Okay.

Okay. This is from Bethany Kochen. Bethany. I'm just going to call her Bethany K. Because we're just going to do it up. Bethany K. Finding my passion, that's what has me stuck. And often feeling unmotivated or undisciplined. I want financial freedom, but I don't want to do something just for that. I want to be excited about it.

Oh, there's so.

This is.

There's so many. So many roads, so many branches to this. Okay. So finding your passion is total malarkey. It literally, in the beginning is like the thing that's going to stop everyone, because if you. It's going to stop everyone from actually taking the action they need to figure out what their passion is. So even within your passion, you're going to be excited, but then you're immediately going to have to do the work and that's going to pull the excitement away. So I need you to know you're not going to feel excited all the time about your passion. So I think that we need to first figure out that in the beginning, you probably aren't even remotely clear on what your passion is, because in the beginning, you don't actually know what's all out there. Like, you don't even know what you could apply it to. So you're gonna have to start dabbling. There's gonna be at least two to seven years of dabbling before your actual true zone of genius really reveals itself. So this is called the experimental phase, where you are just trying things to find out what you enjoy about things and what you're good at. So that's why it's a block in the beginning is people don't even know. You don't actually. Unless you've really gotten to apply it in many different areas on your own, you don't actually even know what your true passion is or your true calling cause you might be good at something that you don't even know exists yet. So with that said, let go of finding your passion right now and look into getting curious about what feels fun and what you're good at. And sometimes what feels fun and what you're good at are different. And sometimes what feels fun you don't get paid from that. So what you're good at may not feel fun, but it gets you paid enough to start going, I'm really good at this. I could build this and then I could build a team and then I could get back into my zone of genius. But I've built the thing that's going to pay me later out of the thing that doesn't excite me. Does that make sense?

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So like I was good at fitness. I did not love it. Did not love it at all. Like I actually did not love owning a gym. I was really, really good at it. So I would have to reframe and let go like personal training all the time. Cause I was like, I am so good at this, it doesn't light me up. I loved helping and transforming people, but I don't love working one on one with people. It's not my zone of genius. Like being a coach. I like working with the masses and I like ideating, like coming up with ideas. But I needed to be paid off of that thing. I needed that thing long enough to get me into something else that I could start getting curious about and start trying. And from the next thing it was like I was really good at coaching because I was a trainer. And so I coached for a while cause it made more money. And I was like, okay, I'm really good at this. But it's not lighting me up in the way that I want. So then I was like, oh, I'm really good at events. And it wasn't lighting me up to be hosting events all the time after a while. So I was like, okay, you know I love speaking, but I don't so much love this Event part. How can I now I have the money to be able to hire this part out? So then I was like, oh, I kind of get to show up and just create the content that I love and speak. So there's. There's two sides to everything. It's like, I didn't love the, you know, putting on event side and having all the meetings and all of the details, but I had to keep doing them in order to get myself out of the details so that I could make enough money to do that. So I think understanding that this is just a time period of, like, yeah, you're gonna have to do a lot of shit that you don't wanna do, but you're also gonna be good in it. And it's gonna be that thing that leads you to more of your zone of genius. And I think the end goal is even your passion. I am in my passion right now, and yet it's coming with so many things that I don't wanna do. I'd say 70% of my day is things that I'm good at. I'm good at figuring out problems, but I don't love doing what I'm doing right now. Like, I love it because I do love figuring out problems, but it's hard. And if we were just in our passion all day, I actually want to, like, I actually want to challenge you and say, I don't think you'd love your passion, because we feel most passionate when we're also being challenged and stretched. And if it was easy, that'd be like saying your passion is, you know, eating chocolate. Like, that's essentially what it would set to.

That would be my passion.

Look very passionate. But you can only eat chocolate for a couple hours before your passion makes you sick, you know? And so that's what you have to remember is true passion is, like, the willingness to be in new arenas and explore new things and be extremely stretched, expanded, and do tough stuff you don't like. So release the passion, go with the action.

Release the passion, go with the action. You could do that as a coat tile.

Well, I mean, I think it's missing something, but I do. I like where it's headed, so I.

Do too, because I think I'm like this too. I have this little story in my head of where what you do should be just like this magical, happy work day. Every single day. Look wonderful. That's how life works.

No, I don't think there's ever even.

One magical work day that's like, oh, unicorns all day long. It's like, okay, you're solving a problem, then you're in something you love, then you're solving a problem, then you're. And that takes presence. That takes learning to enjoy, really be present for what is in front of you and not escaping the moment and thinking that your passion's gonna be better, because then that just makes your present feel like, if my future. I'm only living for the future, it's gonna be better, then you're always trying to escape your present moment when there's actually. I mean, this is kind of a. It's not sad, it's just the truth. And when you actually grasp it, it turns into something lovely. But it's like, it's not going to get better than this moment that you're in. It's just not. You have to learn to make this moment the moment.

Oh, Lori, you're dropping some good stuff today.

I don't know. I took these drugs earlier. I'm just kidding. I didn't.

But did you take a Benadryl?

No.

I'm not even on Benny. All right, so grateful for everyone. Evans and I are going to sign off because we are going to jump back on and we are recording two.

In a row today.

Just thought I'd let you know the magic of podcasting. So we'll see you in next week and essentially five minutes from now.

Yes.

Goodbye, everyone.

Bye, Sam.