753: Q&A: Growing Your Business

Go on people's podcasts, get in front of other people's audiences, get on their stages, even if they're really small. Especially if you're starting out. That's where you're gonna have to start out.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of Light Pink, best selling author, three time fitness world champion, and I'm a crazy, multi passionate entrepreneur. My journey has taken me everywhere, from being a broke waitress, barista, retails associate and personal trainer with mass anxiety and no belief in myself, to later becoming a multimillionaire in love with my life. In 2007, my husband and I lost everything. We found ourselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt at rock bottom. We had no ideas and I had no education to fall back on. This is when I found personal development and learned everything I could about business. Not by choice, but because I realized no one was coming to save me. The Conversations podcast are going to let you know that you're not alone and.

That we all feel like we don't know what we're doing.

We're going to give you the tools to help you face your fears, take action, start your business, and grow those massive dreams that are keeping you up at night. It's time to create a life that you can't hide from and put so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. You're going to stop waiting for someone to approve of you, and you're going to anoint yourself. Because I'm obsessed about building businesses that give women a platform, I want to feature you. So if you text the word podcast to 310-496-8363, you can get your questions answered on our Q and A segment along with a shout out. And if you rate, review and subscribe to this podcast, we're choosing someone every month to get coached and featured on our show, and it just might be you. So let's get started.

Evans, welcome back to Questionably awesome where you're my co host.

How's your morning?

It's beautiful. And I got lots of mosquito bites because I'm in the South.

Oh, it's that time. Is it super humid?

It's really humid and it just rains, so all the bugs are evil.

Oh, that's. It's. Yeah, it's real. When I go home, I forget about it and it's like, oh, your ankles like you. You really can't be exposed too much. I think it's usually like, what is it? Morning and then definitely dusk. There's something about evening that they're like, oh, you know what? We watch Netflix all day, but before the sun sets, we have to go eat. Like, they forget and they just like, they're so bad. Literally insane. So if you live in California, you don't really understand this, but if you are from the Midwest or the south, you can get eaten alive. It can feel that way.

Yes. And isn't it crazy how in California, like, I didn't get a bug bite any all the years I lived there? Not one.

Yeah, I don't really think I did either. I think I got a couple at the very end there because we had that like, pond, random pond in our backyard. And it attracted, you know, some bugs. So it was very rare, but it was like a one off. And I would be so upset by it. It'd just be like. Like, they got me. One time I got bit by mosquitoes so bad. We were camping and it was like, it was a horrible, horrible bug season. I remember my parents talking about it and I was probably. I'm guessing I was probably between 10 and 12 is. I'm terrible with like remembering ages. Yeah. And we were in a pop up camper. Horrible bug season. Already shared that. Got eaten alive, literally. And that night when we were trying to go to sleep, I couldn't sleep. Like, it was so itchy. You know how they can just be like so horrendous and you start itching and you're like, yes. I was bawling. Like, I remember just like crying because I could not. We were putting the stuff on it. Like, we were dabbing it with all of this crap. And I had. I don't know what I was doing, but I literally must have just like sat outside and let them eat me alive. My dad was like, he's like, I'm just gonna give her. I'm just gonna give her like half a Bartles and James. And my mom was like, no, George, you can't do that. Like, she can't have alcohol right now. And he's like, cindy, she's gon drink this and fall asleep. And so he ended up winning. And I ended up having a wine cooler and it was amazing. And I fell asleep.

Bartles and James. That was like the original white claw was Bartles and James. It really was.

It really was. It's so great. So that is just like a standout memory for me where my dad really just, like, we bonded, you know, he like sat up and like had a Bartles and James with me while I. He was just like, it's just gonna make you feel. But we can't do this often. But this is just because you can't get through it. So I don't know what he taught.

Me there, but I think it's amazing. My mom, just, like yesterday, told me this story. She was like, oh, yeah, babies used to drink sugar tit. And I was like, mom, what is a sugar tit? And why did you just say tit? And she was like, talking about how the olden days of, like, giving your kids bourbon and stuff. I don't know.

You do. You know, we're just talking. We're not making this up. We are just stating historical facts. So I don't know. Yeah, this is a lot of not sure what to tell you. So with that said, do you have a quote? I think we kicked that off with a bang.

Yeah, we'll get right into that. Mine's from Lauren Graham, that actress who played on the Gilmore Girls. You know her?

Oh, yeah, she's real cool.

She said, as my friend Oliver Platt used to say to me about hopes and dreams, it's coming, just not on your time frame.

Ain't that the truth? And, you know, if it came on our timeframe, I just think life would be so boring and predictable. You'd be like, that job that I really want, I want it in two weeks, and that's how it's going to happen. And you'd be like, oh, I got this job. Yay. Like, you didn't even work for it. There was no buildup or anything that would make you expand or strengthen or become someone different. You're just the same person getting everything that you want and some boring. Like, that sounds great, but it's really not. That's not actually how we're wired. So don't you think it's interesting? Like, if you. When we just actually figure out how things work, even though it doesn't feel fair sometimes, what is. What is fair? Who's to know? Like, in the grand scheme, when we look back on our life from who knows where, we'll be heaven or, you know, maybe somewhere hotter. Yeah. Like, who's to be? Like, that's really. Thank God that's how it was, because we would have just taken it all for granted and never grown. Like, I don't know. Anyway.

Yeah, there are all those movies about it.

Like, there are. Yeah, we can't name any right now, but.

There's no but. I. I know that's a reoccurring theme.

I feel like Cocoon or something is a movie and I just like anyone under the age of probably 40 right now, it's like, what the what? Just Google it. It was a show about, I think, like, old. It was a show about old people. That's all I remember. Okay. My quote. Maybe you look that. Maybe you look up what that show is about. My quote is just from the Good quotes page on Instagram. And it says, my friend just said to me, sometimes you have to make peace with the fact that you are the villain in someone else's story. Even if you thought you were doing the right thing, you don't get to tell them how to narrate their experience. And I just thought that the quote has ended. This is my 2 cents. I just thought that that is some of the best advice that you can get. Because you don't get to be the hero in everyone's story. No matter how much you want to be. Sometimes you actually play the villain. And again, this is one of those things. Sometimes looking back, it's going to be the best role you ever got to play. Cause it teaches you a lot about forgiveness and allowing people to have their own experience. And it can also be a role that they needed to look back on and say, oh, I really screwed up there. Wow. I, you know, I didn't take any ownership over what happened in that situation. And sometimes maybe they never will actually see what it was or why it played out that way. So I just thought it was really interesting that if we can let that be okay. And trust me, letting something like this be okay can take you, like, two to five years, maybe more. But learning this lesson has been one of the biggest things I can learn because I've definitely, unintentionally, somehow still, looking back, don't really know how. I guess I kind of do have played the villain in some people's lives.

I never thought about it like that, but we all have. That's an interesting perspective. I like that a lot.

Yeah, it's just powerful. All right, so do we have a reveal?

We do, and it's from Fido Fizzy.

Fido Fizzy. That sounds like a fun day with a dog with a delicious beverage outside.

Yeah, it sounds like a children's book.

What'd you do today? A little Fido Fizzy.

Fido Fizzy. Fido Fizzy says. I love how Lori truly wants to help and serve her listeners. The variety of content she produces is amazing, and I love how vulnerable and real she is. It's inspirational to see her and Chris showing hashtag relationshipgoals in their episodes. Thanks for serving.

Oh, my gosh. Fido. Fizzy. I feel like you and I could have some fun over a Bartles and James.

My mom loves Bartles and James. They are delicious.

I have a goal. Would you make this come true? I want to come and visit you, and I want to find. I want to have a Bartles and James or something similar with you and your mom.

She would be delighted.

We'll throw in Adam, too, because he's real fun. Chris can come, too.

Yeah, Chris can come, too. Everyone can come.

Yeah, everyone can come. But we'll. We'll make up most of the conversation because we're the funniest. Okay. So is Adam, though. He's pretty funny.

He's pretty funny. I do like him a lot.

Same. Okay, so now we're married. Okay, now we're married. That's how that happened. How did you guys meet? I forgot.

I'm good friends with his cousin in Charleston, and she introduced us.

That's right. Was it love at first sight? I think it really was.

I was like. I really like this person.

Did he make you laugh a lot?

Oh, yeah.

He, like, walked in the restaurant dancing. He's so funny.

I can totally see that. He, like, does that everywhere he goes, though, in, like, a different. Was he in a crazy outfit, or had he not tapped into that yet?

He had not shown me that side of him yet, because usually he wears. Now he just wears short shorts all the time.

Well, you know, he knows how to keep the romance alive in that marriage. He's just like, look, I buy. This is not for me. I buy sexy things for my wife.

Yeah, he buys shorter shorts than I. I don't even wear shorts, really. I wear, like, a pantsuit.

We wear, like, culottes. He wears, like, hot pants. Yeah. He'd do great in Brazil, actually any European country, because we could get him those Brazilian cut shorts. But I feel like he'd want them in, like, plaid or, like, with, like, June spurs on them or something.

I don't know. Do you want a question? Sure.

Are you done with that? You're like, this is. As the shorts get shorter, this is getting more awkward.

Yeah.

Let's get a question.

Okay. This is from Bailey Barcelos. I really like this question. How do you balance the masculine get it done energy with the feminine energy when running a successful business? I like that question.

I love this question, too. So I'm in a very masculine season, and the moment that I said that, though, I'm doing some very feminine things. Meaning thoughts around how I'm Approaching the masculine to keep it feminine. So although I have dates and deadlines and overwhelming like things to get done and goals and it takes a, it's requiring a lot of like energy and steam right behind it. It's very powerful. It's like very masculine energy, like get shit done mentality. But I'm also doing it with ease. So as hard as it is, I'm saying, how can this be easier? How could this be more fun? And how could this look more graceful? So it can look more graceful by me delegating more, giving more to people than I'm even comfortable with. So the masculine wants to get it all done and do it myself. The feminine is like, but if you have great people, why can't you give more to them? Because they actually enjoy it. Like thinking of it in that way and then also just switching it to fun and being like, this is fun, yes, this is challenging, but this is also, I get to expand myself, I get to have more fun. How could I do this with more ease? So instead of saying, oh my gosh, this is gonna take me forever, I'm like, okay, I am going to work as hard and focused as I can and get as much done as I can in this amount of time. So maybe it's two hours and then I'm gonna give myself a bit of self care. Whatever this looks like, whether it's a 30 minute walk, a 30 minute run, maybe it's going and just like stopping in the evening and having a massage appointment at 6pm so that you go and just you stop and you reset and you remember that you're better when you have more energy and your head is clear. So we all know that we have those times when we've pushed so hard that you're saying you're gonna work that night. I know that you've probably done this too, Evans. Like we all do it. I'm gonna work all day and I'm gonna just eat some dinner and then I'm gonna work from 6 until 9 o' clock tonight. You don't really get that much done. If you had energy and it was in the middle of the day, you could probably compress that. So on those nights I'm like, I'm gonna do a little bit more and then I'm just gonna call it a day because I'm gonna get my energy and I'm gonna finish this tomorrow when I have more energy. Just asking how can this have a little more? How can you enjoy this more and how can you have a little more grace what do you think?

I love that. I like what you're saying about kind of the stopping and observing where you are because maybe the masculine side of you wants to keep going and push through it. Like you said, doing those little things to pause and nurture yourself in those around you because that will just help your business grow too.

It really does. And the new ideas and the thoughts don't. They don't usually come in the push, they come in the space. So space can feel so awful. If I'm being honest. When you feel like you have a lot to get, like, I feel like I have so much to get done. And we're actually going to California, to laguna for the 4th, just Friday through Monday. And I'm going to do work there. But I'm also giving myself days of space because I want to look at my business from a set of fresh eyes and perspective. And I know that that's where ideas can come from. But it can feel challenging to give yourself space. But I'm always like, hey, ideas can't come in if you haven't created room for them. And it's just the truth. So making sure that you go and have the like time to just go and think about nothing is where all of a sudden a brainstorm will come in. So sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't, but most of the time it does. And you just have to trust that if you give, if you do it frequently enough, it's going to happen. So.

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I like that a lot.

You have another cue?

Yeah, okay. This is from Jodi Katzen. Jody says, I have worked with a few business coaches and I'm still have trouble still having trouble getting that first client. I work so hard on my post but with a small following in the algorithm. I don't know how many eyes are actually landing on them so I get easily discouraged. I guess my question would be is there a way outside of social meeting media to get things off the Ground.

Oh my gosh, yes, this is a great question and I first want to just say, yes, the algorithm isn't what it was, but we have social media that is so powerful. And I do believe that with shifting just a tiny bit of how we look at it, it can be even better. So the first thing that I would like to do for myself, for you, for everyone listening, is to never blame the algorithm again. So just say, okay, great, this is what we're working with and it's a huge bonus. So some ways that we can overcome that are to look at other options as well. So not just social media, but we always tell our people in our mastermind as well when they have this question, because this is a very normal question, is that you need to look at other ways to add value. And building an audience, AKA audience acquisition, really takes time. It's like years of know, like and trust. So if it's someone who's like, ah, it's been two months or six months or whatever, or a year sometimes, that's still not enough. And maybe, you know, there's some moments that are like those come to Jesus moments of is my content good? Like if I was, you know, a person, my ideal client, would I want to follow this page. Does it add enough value? Is it truly something that is, you know, content that you're creating for people that changes their life or is shareable? It doesn't mean that every single day your post is going to be mind blowing, but are you creating value within that, you know, potentially week or a few times a week? Because sometimes we can just be putting stuff out there because, and we're like, why aren't they looking at my stuff? This is pretty good. Well, sometimes you need to put more thought into it. And is that platform the place where your person really is and does your person need actual like outreach in the DMs to be able to, you know, see your stuff or come into your courses and things like that. So honestly, we always know from working with so many businesses that if you're a coach or you're launching something for the first time, the real sales happen in the DMs. In the beginning. It just, it's how it works when you're starting out. Some people need higher touch. They just need, especially if your product costs a little bit more. It's just, it's gonna take more one on one touch to know like and have that person know like and trust you and build, build that trust. So creating kind of a personal relationship or outreach with people and with that said, there's also other places. So putting yourself on a podcast tour, meaning get on people's podcasts, even if they' shows and start talking about what you do and what you offer. So come up with a really good pitch. Maybe it's the, the three ways to get strategically aligned in your business or something like that. Like something that you, something that you coach on, something that you do. And then make sure with a podcast host, it's cool that at the end you say, you know, I have this, I created this special offer, this free opt in just for your audience. They can opt in@lori harder.com and they're going to my three secrets to finding your ideal client. Like make sure that's okay, but then you want to convert that audience into your list that you own. So these are things that we don't think about when we're looking at. We just need an audience. Like go on people's podcasts, get in front of other people's audiences, get on their stages, even if they're really small. Especially if you're starting out. That's where you're gonna have to start out. That's what I did. Speak in a different group speaking to Mastermind group speaking to people's Facebook pages. You know, ask if you can offer value in any way or get interviewed and make sure it's a really good topic that you're giving that person that adds a lot of value to their group. So not just, I have a really good story. This is what I went through. That's not enough to be able to pitch their audience or say, this is what your audience is going to get from this. Now, if you have a great story, and here are the three lessons that I teach that your audience will walk away with that's a good pitch. And share exactly what those are and make sure that they are good enough, spicy enough that people would all want to tune in. So that's definitely my advice for that. What do you think, Evans?

I like that because you have a lot of action steps there. You're not just sure you want to keep posting on your Instagram so they have something to look at once they land on your page. But are you saying like cold email people, cold message people? Follow people that you like and send them a note with your pitch on there. All those things. That's awesome. I love all those things.

And it depends on what you do. I've had people who specifically have messaged me a lot like, hey, I coach high level entrepreneurs to blankety blank blank blank. Maybe if it's for to feel better within your relationships or life, or maybe it's to expand your business even more and make sure that you're still in alignment in this area, get clear on what exactly it is that you do and why you want to help that person. And then you can reach out in the DMs.

I love that you're just putting yourself out there.

Putting yourself out there. So, Evans, I'm so grateful for you and just grateful for everybody who tunes in. Any last words of wisdom?

Oh, I think we should all ask somebody out for coffee.

Oh, that is so good. I love that.

What do you think?

And on the next episode, I'm gonna ask why. Yeah. Okay, so tune in next week to find out why.

Okay.

All right, everyone. She's like, okay, I'd like to find out why for myself as well. Okay, everyone, we're obsessed with you and we always love to hear your takeaways. So make sure you give us a tag and we'll see you next week. And you can find out why Evans thinks going to coffee with people is a great idea. Goodbye.

Yeah, it's very good. Bye. Bye.

Sam.