758. Turning Your Message Into a Brand You Can Wear Proudly with Kalilah Wright

Even if I, you know, don't get everything done during the day, I'm not beating myself up because I know I've done the best I can. So I think when I'm at my best is when I am letting go.

Welcome to the Earn your Happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of Light Pink, best selling author, three time fitness world champion, and I'm a crazy, multi passionate entrepreneur. My journey has taken me everywhere from being a broke waitress, barista, retails associate and personal trainer with massive anxiety and no belief in myself, to later becoming a multimillionaire in love with my life. In 2007, my husband and I lost everything. We found ourselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt at rock bottom. We had no ideas and I had no education to fall back on. This is when I found personal development and learned everything I could about business. I not by choice, but because I realized no one was coming to save me. The conversations on this podcast are going to let you know that you're not alone and that we all feel like.

We don't know what we're doing.

We're going to give you the tools to help you face your fears, take action, start your business, and grow those massive dreams that are keeping you up at night. It's time to create a life that you can't hide from and put so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. You're going to stop waiting for someone to approve of you, and you're going to anoint yourself. Because I'm obsessed about building businesses that give women a platform, I want to feature you. So if you text the word podcast to 310-496-8363, you can get your questions answered on our Q and A segment along with a shout out. And if you rate, review and subscribe to this podcast, subscribe. We're choosing someone every month to get coached and featured on our show. It just might be you. So let's get started.

Hey everyone.

Welcome back to the show. I am so excited for my guest today, Kahlila Wright. She was born in Jamaica, migrated to the United States at the tender age of four, and was raised in Brooklyn, New York. She's the founder and CEO of the expressive brand Mess in a Bottle. If you don't follow that yet, you.

Absolutely have to go follow her page.

Mess in a Bottle.

It's incredible.

She's an accomplished designer and trained architect. She used her Master's degree from Morgan State University and Bachelor's of Arts from Penn State University to establish the brand. In January 2016, in Baltimore, Maryland, mess in a Bottle Brand was established to evoke change, question Kalila's audience, and allow individuals wearing their message to be vocal without saying anything at all. Each item is designed and printed at her Baltimore in house studio space. You guys, I absolutely love this conversation, and I can't wait for you to listen in.

Let's get started. Kila, thank you so much for coming on the show. I'm sorry. So excited to chat with you.

Thank you so much for having me.

So my. One of my girlfriends, well, one of my best friends, was literally like, oh.

My God, do you follow this girl?

And I was like, no, I need to know who. And she was like, I'm obsessed. Like, I'm obsessed with the shirts. I'm obsessed with everything she has to say. And I was like, okay, well, I'm gonna follow. So I started following you about six months ago. And I love you because you do so many things for women. And also just I love that you're entrepreneurial spirit. Like, you love helping people create that thing that they know that they should be doing in the world. So I want to know, what is your business and where did it come from?

Like, what.

Where did the idea start? How did you get into it?

So, I became an entrepreneur a little bit over five years ago. I was an architect for a major retail company, sports retail company. And, you know, I just really. I think that I was sitting at my desk like many other people, and I just thought, I'm like, all right, I love what I'm doing, but I'm like, this can't be it. I'm still struggling financially, and I really wanted to figure out, like, how to expand, you know, sort of my knowledge and what. What I do and like, just my design skills. And I wasn't really appreciated as much in architecture. So, you know, I decided to start my own company, and, you know, it became this apparel company. And I think that it developed and sort of catapult and became this thing, this phenom in which I could really share my message and give a message to people. And that's where I really found, you know, really realized that I was in the place and space that I'm supposed to be in because people really loved what I was creating.

So we talk a lot on here about the transition. Like, what did that look like from going to, you know, your architecture job where you're like, okay, like, this is what everybody thought you were doing. It's probably what you thought you were gonna be doing for the rest of your life and then saying, I'm gonna go start this thing. Like, did you have a lot of people supporting you or was this kind of like, what did that transition look like?

You know, a lot of my friends and family, they were just like, look, whatever you're gonna do, we are here to support, we're here to buy it, we're here to cheer you on, I think. But I think that from any, you know, standpoint, everyone's like, are you really gonna leave, like your six figure job to go ahead and do. Yeah, the unknown? And I was just like, yeah, you gotta bet on yourself. And I mean, I'm so happy that I decided to. So I think that transition was, you know, of course, difficult. Just unsure about, like, a paycheck. I did not have much money saved. I started messing a bottle with less than $500, you know, so this has really been one of those things where I'm really happy that, you know, my gamble actually worked.

Yeah, definitely. Like, that transition period where you're like, what did you focus on? Was it because it just brought you so much joy, or did you kind of have this feeling if you really became more you and started sharing these ideas and messages that you were having internally, did you feel like you knew it would work or what was the thing that made you feel that way?

So I always joke, but my first year of business, I feel like I wandered around aimlessly because I wasn't sure, really wasn't sure, and I had all of these other interests that I was sort of toying with, but, you know, messing about. It was the business that sort of made money and people were really interested in it. So, you know, I told myself after being out of work for a couple of months, I was just like, focus on this. Like, it's doing well. You know, people really like it. So focus here and give it all your energy and see what happens in the next year. And so, you know, I think the first year I would position myself around like other entrepreneurs and I would, you know, sort of pull from some of the things that I learned at my other, like, you know, when I did have a 9 to 5, you know, so I was a teacher at one point, as well as working at different architecture firms. So I really started to pull from that structure of business. And I think it was really important for me to remember, like, okay, you need to create a schedule. You need to like, really figure out, you know, what is your marketing plan, you know, what are your design, you know, esthetics and the branding. So it Took me kind of a while to kind of, you know, find a momentum, but once I found it and found a rhythm, I was just like, okay, this is it.

So I heard you say a couple of things in there that I feel like are so important and that were just huge breakthroughs for me, too. And it's. It was, you know, the focus of understanding, okay, taking what you applied from your other jobs, probably the schedule, and needing clarity around certain things. And what does it look like, like, to work backwards with a goal and a project and all of the things that you forget that as an entrepreneur, you kind of don't. You don't have a boss, like, telling you how to set this up or what to do. So what did you. Did you, like, immerse yourself with other entrepreneurs? Like, did you take courses? Did you listen to podcasts? Like, how did you have to switch so that you learned how to manage yourself and to really create that focus?

So I did a couple of things. I definitely, you know, started listening to a lot of, like, podcasts as well as positioning myself around a lot of entrepreneurs. I joined some great Facebook groups with entrepreneurs. You know, I met my mentor, Nicole Walters, around this time as well. And so, you know. Yes. And so positioning myself around, like, the success and really seeing what it is like to structure a business and not just. Just a side hustle really was something that I think was instrumental in my. In my process. So, you know, as I started to, like, sort of put the pieces together, you know, like a puzzle and sort of saying, ha, you have to put this here for this to work with that. And, you know, and so those are some of the things that I did to really sort of ensure, like, you know, that I was on this, like, successful path.

Yes. Oh, my God. So important. That's been one of the biggest things for me is just having those mentors and people to be accountable to, like, just making sure that you show up, you know, for those people and for all the people who are now following you and for your business. So I want to know about. I was reading some of your blogs on your. On your page, and you talked a lot about just kind of owning your greatness and, like, really trying to step in even more into yourself and, like, really, you know, own who you are and show that to the world, show it to your audience. Do you still work on that daily? What does that look like? What is something that you are trying to own right now that's trying to come through for you?

I would just say, I think organization and structure, you Know, I've been a person that I usually work within the mess and that's not always like sort of a bad thing. But what I'm realizing now is as I have employees, if I have, you know, things happening around me, like people require structure, people require organization. So I think I've just been really working on finding that balance and not losing my greatness, but like really ensuring that, you know, I'm paying attention and that I'm able to, you know, if you're not organized or if you're not structured in and even planning with a lot of things, you start, you know, things become chaotic and sometimes it's really hard to, you know, to really go through with things and get them accomplished if you're all over the place. So I've been really trying to, you know, work really hard with not doing so much within the mess, but really organizing and structuring some of, some of it.

I'm feeling you so hard right now. I like, you know, I came from previous businesses where I could kind of, I could work really successfully within the mess. But now I'm, I've started a new company where I'm working with all these teams and I am really observing how it's like holding me to a much higher standard in order for them to function. And I actually am functioning better. But it is harder to kind of go back and undo all of those habits that did work for you but don't work for you now. Do you have something on top of that or something that you want to share that maybe had worked for you previously, but as you step even more into the evolution of your company that you've had to let go of.

Yeah, so I use sort of the 12 week year model and sort of like trying to really structure and figure out my days and figure out my time. And so I was realizing like in the past, like I would just maybe create to do lists and I would not really put too much like structure to it. I'll just say like, hey, I want to accomplish this, this and that. And then I would realize like, you know, the day would go by and because I didn't put like, you know, too much pressure on, like when I wanted to get it done, what time I wanted to get it done, how I wanted to get it done, it would just allow me to kind of be, you know, all over with just you. I put things in place, but there was no true structure to it. So I think as I began to evolve, you know, I'm now writing and putting like specific times to certain things and just. And also reviewing and monitoring, you know, like, what I want to accomplish and sort of ensuring that, you know, those things are being done and checking them off.

So what does that kind of look like? Just because I feel like that's what so many people struggle with. I know you said that you, you know, maybe you have your top priorities. Do you pick, like, three for the day and then actually schedule them in or how. How does that look?

I do, you know, I sort of. Well, one of the things I do and I really enjoy doing it, I create a brain dump. So I do that every week. I create a brain dump. And because I'm creative and entrepreneur, that puts everything and keeps everything in my brain. So I created Brain Dump, and I sort of, you know, every day sort of dump things in there, but then revisit it at the end of the day. And I kind of, you know, say to myself, like, all right, where are we with these projects? And I do, you know, go and start to. So for the day, I will then pull out two or three, and I'll say, all right, these are the main ones that I want to prioritize and work on for the day. So, you know, those are definitely some of the tips and things that I've done to really become organized and structured and sort of ensure that I am doing things the right way.

Oh, man, I love that I literally have my brain dump on the other side of the page of my notes for you, because I love that I work the same way and I go through and I star the ones I need to do that day.

So.

Good.

I'm on the right path. Okay, awesome. So you also have a class that teaches people how to start their own, essentially, apparel company, Right? Or is it really specifically T shirts? Tell me about that.

So it's called the T class. I mean, we do go over other products, but, you know, the benefit is I want that people, you know, especially women, I would love that if you are trying to figure out, like, just, you know, residual income or, you know, just even a side hustle and something, you know, for your family, and you're like, hey, I need a couple of bucks. I want to be able to. To allow. To give to people, you know, this thing that they can do even from their house or to outsource it and that you can make money from starting an apparel business. So it's been really rewarding with the T class, where I've even had, like, kids come to us that want to start their own T shirt company. And I'VE helped them to jumpstart that as well.

That's so awesome. And that was tclass.com.

Yep. You got it. Thank you.

So how about when you think about being aligned in your life, what feels aligned for you right now? What feels a little bit out of alignment, if anything?

Maybe it doesn't. Yeah. So, I mean, I think one of the things that are, you know, look, you gotta be either doing something really well, and then something else is gonna be a little bit off. And I think that that's the true course, you know, you're not gonna have everything being aligned at the same time. I think as a mom and a single mom, I think one of the things I'm always playing tug of war with is my son and sort of like, just, you know, where he is and, you know, just sort of ensuring that I can't take my eyes off of him for a second. He's 8 years old, and so, you know, the minute I do is the minute that things kind of get awry. So I think for me, I've been doing a really good job at. When I'm creating my goals, either for the quarter or for the week or for the, you know, or for the year. You know, I try to now put my son in as well. And, you know, he's also a part. Like, the same way I'm making financial goals or, you know, or goals for my business, I'm also now making parenting goals, you know, So I say to myself, and I'll be realistic, you know, whether it is spending a whole, you know, spending a weekend with him, and, you know, instead of saying every weekend or one day a week or, you know, I'm like, okay, commit to at least two weekends a month in which, you know, or even one week in a month in which you give him your all and you're not, like, doing work or you're not doing anything. And, you know, and kind of. And that's been sort of my, you know, technique in sort of ensuring that, you know, that part of life doesn't fall too short. So.

Good. What are you doing when you're at your best?

When I'm at my best, I am eating well, running. I'm going to sleep, you know, at a pretty decent time. I'm not overworking. I'm not feeling stressed out. You know, I am in a good place. And it's. Even if I, you know, don't get everything done during the day, I'm not beating myself up because I know I've done the best I can. So I think when I'm at my best is when I am letting go. Hmm.

I'm literally. Those are like, the three things I'm working on right now. Just better, better sleep, letting go. Like, God's got it.

Yeah.

Just like, eating really well. Because, man, when you and I know that you know this, like, when you are operating, you know, on another level and. Or when you're always trying to go to the next level in your life and business, it's like you need to. You have to upgrade the operating system, which is you. Which I'm like, okay, what else can I do to get more motivation, more inspiration, more energy, which is, like, most important, you know, things that we can get. So is that kind of what you do? Like, just take an assessment when you're like, whoa, I'm kind of like running low here. Something's not right. What do you go through in your head? Is there, like a checklist when things are off, when you don't feel great, or when your business is kind of at a standstill? What do you do?

Yeah, I'm a runner. And so I always, like, either in the mornings or I try to go from. For a run and really assess where I am and how I feel and what is going to make me feel, you know, better and more at peace. And I know that, you know, I think for me, I'm really conscious with the fact that I know especially entrepreneurship is not going to always be, you know, on the high where you're having a great day. You know, sometimes you'll be vibrating a bit low. But I try to ask myself, like, why? Is it because you just didn't get what you want? Is it because you're working really hard today? And, you know, I allow myself to sort of feel, and then, you know, if I'm vibrating low to be like, all right, it's okay to have a day off. And it's okay to know, like, all right, I don't feel good today. Like, maybe I should take a break or, you know, and not work. You know, maybe it's a great opportunity to sort of put the pencil down and do something creative, you know, draw, you know, do some artwork, go for a walk or, you know, enjoy the outsides without doing something that is work related. So I definitely think that, you know, I think for me, I just try to tap into those emotions and try to figure out why I'm feeling the way that I might feel.

That is. It is so incredibly powerful. Oh, my God. My husband, we walk every day. I'm also a Runner. But we take a walk every day too. And my husband will say to me like, if I'm like, oh, I'm feeling like crap or oh, I'm anxious or whatever it is, he's like, great, enjoy it. Can he really? And I'm like, right. It like frustrates me in the moment and then it brings me back to like, that's just, it's just a feeling. Like it's just visiting you and it's, it's okay. Like, it's so normal. I don't know about you, but for me, half of the battle is the resistance around the feeling that I'm feeling. And if I can just let it go, I'm like, oh, okay, it's not that bad. And it's probably telling me something and asking me to, you know, reroute or readjust or whatever it is.

No, I totally understand. And I think you're right, you know, and so I think it takes those moments of you tapping into yourself and making sure you know yourself and you, you could really assess, you know, how you feel.

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What is, what's feeling like really fun for you right now?

Hmm, let me think. I mean I love travel even though, you know, we're in the. So you know, I think we're coming out of the dark a little bit, you know. And so I think I recently did something really cool where I went to Joshua Tree in California and I stayed in a bubble in the desert.

Wonderful.

I think exploring new things and definitely like just doing stuff that's outside my norm is definitely something that I really appreciate and enjoy doing.

Okay. So I know staying in a bubble in a desert, something's gotta come out of it. So what do you think was like when you came home, what was the thing that kind of either it opened you up to or that you just experienced or you know, how we kind of like have these life like moments where you go and you experience outside of the box Essentially in a bubble. This bubble, and you came home. What was kind of the takeaway from that?

I think the takeaway was, you know, I feel like before the desert, it was a real representation of like, sort of like the time we were in. So, like, you know, before the desert and like late last year, with all the chaos of, you know, where the world was, I think that it was. I was trying to find peace within the message. And, you know, so when I did the desert, coming out of it, I really felt like, you know, you sometimes need calm, you need stillness, you need quiet, you know, and you need isolation sometimes to really, you know, get your calm. And so I think for me, that is what, like the bubble in the desert did. Like, I needed to be still. So.

Good. I definitely, definitely feel that craving that just like getting your. For me, I'm very much like that too. Like, where you have to almost seclude to, like, get your thoughts back together to hear what is you and what is other people, like, separating, you know, what. What are you actually thinking and feeling? I don't know, are you more of. Do you kind of pick up on people's emotions? Do you feel like you're a bit of an empath? What would you describe yourself as?

I was gonna say that is. That. That's the empath, isn't it? You know, sometimes I think I'm probably tapping more and more into that side of me where I am understanding a little bit more. I think I'm also gravitating towards people who are more of empaths, like, you know, just to explore if that's me, and what, you know, how to tap into those things. So, yeah, that's awesome.

How would you describe yourself to somebody if they, you know, just. What are probably three or four traits that you. You think are your strongest?

I am definitely a person who is courageous. You know, I try anything and everything. I am a person who is curious, you know, so I think that I go down a path that maybe a lot of other people won't venture down. I'm pretty energetic. I'm pretty, you know, fun loving, and also, you know, just a person. I'm a really kind individual and. And I think that, you know, I really am the type of person who I want to. I want to see others win, you know, so I'm always here to sort of be helpful to people.

That's awesome. Tell me just a little bit about your relationship with fear and maybe how it's evolved as you've done more and more things.

Fear is something that can be very crippling. And I think that I learned that early on, sort of, you know, coming to this country from another country and like, you know, just being fearful of things. But I have really learned in the last couple of years to sort of run towards it and to be fearless only because I really feel like, you know, that's where the magic is, is, you know, it's in those places that you're the most afraid to go. And so it's been rewarding for me. Like, you know, the. The more that I venture into spaces that I'm afraid of is the more beautiful, like, things I have discovered.

Oh, yeah. Unfortunately true. And also awesomely true.

Right.

Because it evolves us.

It's great.

It's also really challenging. But yeah, isn't that the truth? Like, just, man, if we just ran toward our fear every single day, we would pretty much have everything that we wanted. So. Oh, my gosh. Okay, so if you could only print one more T shirt, what would that message be around?

So I think one of my favorite messages is as strong as the woman next to me. And so I think that that message really resonates with a lot of people. And I think that I would probably reprint that shirt and, you know, because it's a true representation of like, sort of what I created and why I created this business.

Oh, my gosh. I literally, I have full body chills because that is I. That message, like, hits so home to me because we are also, you know, the people that we are around. And it's just not only do we get to become the people that we're around, but they raise our vibration if we're with them too. So it's just. Yeah, I love, love, love that. Okay, what is something. Last question here. What is something that you want to claim for yourself? Like, what is something right now you just would, like, want to put the stake in the ground unapologetically saying what you want to do, what you're going for.

I want to go public. I want a company that will eventually go public. I just think it's important. Especially like, as a black woman owned business. I would just love to accomplish that.

Well, that felt good. That felt true. That felt good. That was so beautiful. So any last messages for our listeners that you want to share? And also, where can we find you? Where can we follow you? All of the things.

Yeah, I would just really say, you know, just do it. You know, just go ahead and just start. A lot of us have really amazing ideas that we sort of keep in a hat keep in our heads and in our hearts because we are so afraid of what's on the other side of the door. But I would really encourage anyone to run towards it because there's amazing things on the other side of the door. And you can follow me on social media essinabottle Also shop our website at www.messinabottle.com.

Thank you so much for being on the show. I so appreciate you and just honestly like how just bold and how you unap go after what you want and it's such permission for all of us and I'm so grateful. So you guys, one of the biggest things that you can do for Kahlila is to number one, go follow her. Number two, buy her stuff. Actually buy her stuff first, then go follow her. But also, you guys know that we love to share your biggest takeaway on here. So make sure you tag her. Upload the story of this podcast, make sure you tag her and let her know what your biggest takeaway was. And Khalilah, do you want them to tag Messinabottle on Instagram?

I sure do. Yep, that's what you tag. I'll see you the fastest there.

Amazing. So tag Messinabottle. Let her know what your aha moment or your biggest takeaway was. And you guys, it's always just fun for us to be able to see who's listening and who we got to impact today. So you guys, until next time, earn your happy bye. Bye.

Sa.