771. Why Fast Failure & Challenging Emotions Will Make You Successful

You're not for everyone. I have never been for everyone. I will always just be for those people who just are on the same path and they are meant to do the same thing as me and they're meant to go big and they're meant to build dreams. They're meant to get that vision out of their body and in to the world.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of Light Pink, best selling author, three time fitness world champion, and I'm a crazy, multi passionate entrepreneur. My journey has taken me everywhere from being a broke waitress, barista, retails associate and personal trainer with massive anxiety and no belief in myself to later becoming a multimillionaire in love with my life. In 2007, my husband and I lost everything. We found ourselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt at rock bottom. We had no ideas and I had no education to fall back on. This is when I found personal development and learned everything about business. Not by choice, but because I realized no one was coming to save me. The conversations on this podcast are going to let you know that you're not alone and that we all feel like we don't know what we're doing. We're going to give you the tools to help you face your fears, take action, start your business, and grow those massive dreams that are keeping you up at night. It's time to create a life that you can't hide from and put so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. You're going to stop waiting for someone to approve of you and you're going to anoint yourself. Because I'm obsessed about building businesses that give women a platform, I want to feature you. So if you text the word podcast to 310-496-8363, you can get your questions answered on our Q and A segment along with a shout out. And if you rate, review and subscribe to this podcast, we're choosing someone every month month to get coached and featured on our show. It just might be you. So let's get started.

Hey everyone, welcome back to the show. It's time for another quickie because there's.

Always time to fit in inspiration and.

I am currently in Wisconsin for the summer. We are visiting family. We are escaping the heat of Arizona. It is our first summer in Arizona, so as soon as it got up to 105, 115, we were like, we're out. We're gonna go visit our families and make this all work. So we are in the RV right now and we're just making it happen. And I will tell you that it has taught me more about needing the thinking that I need the perfect place, the perfect setting, the perfect time to do all the things. This has been such a crazy lesson in showing up no matter what, and especially showing up imperfectly. There's so many things that I would like to be done in a much better way, but I don't have my audio equipment or I don't have the zoom background that I want for meeting all of these people or whatever it is. It may sound silly, but it's just completely not as planned, right? Sometimes there are people doing construction outside. There's the neighbor getting her house redone. They had an actual tornado last week where it blew our dock away and we lost our boat. Yes, you did hear that correctly. We lost our boat out to the lake. When it was found, it had a bunch of holes in the hall and it's completely, it's not salvageable. So we completely lost the boat. And hopefully we will find out with insurance what's going on with all of that. But regardless, nothing is perfect. Last year at this time, I was on the road in the RV again learning the same lesson while I was trying to raise money for light pink. And now that my raise is complete for light pink, I am now on the road building light pink and doing all of my meetings from either hotel rooms, RVs or my mother in law's home. It's not perfect, but the one consistent thing is that I am showing up no matter what. Yesterday was a really rough day. I have some really crazy allergies up here and I had taken just about everything that I possibly could. And I still could hardly make it through certain meetings without sneezing every 30 seconds. My face was literally watering down my face. All I wanted to do was take a nap. And I just kept telling myself I had to show up for the next thing. All I have to do is just show up. I don't have to be great. I don't have to do anything outside of what I'm just feeling right now. I can just show up. And that's the point that I want to get across to you. And by the way, these are first world problems. Like, this is definitely not a big deal and this is something that I get to do by doing this. But at the same time, I want to show that there are so many situations that you can create. Like, this was something we wanted to create. Chris loves being on the road. It's his dream to be in the rv. So for me, I want to also be able to live that part of his dream with him. And instead of complaining the whole time or saying, I wish I had this or I wish I had my desk or I wish I just had a quiet setting, I'm using it as a way to get better. I'm using it as a way for me to expand, and I'm using it as a way for me to grow and show myself that I can show up no matter what, no matter how imperfect or how much I don't like the situation going on, you still make it happen. And that's kind of my theme throughout all of building this business and what I want to share with all of you is so many little things trip us up. And we have to start using the little things as our exercises in order to expand and be able to work in any circumstance. The more circumstances that you can work through and show up through, the more you are going to be a complete ninja. You're going to be able to do anything.

Anything.

You're going to be able to show up when it's hard. You're going to be able to show up when you're distracted. You're going to be able to show up when you're tired. You're going to be able to show up when you're sick. And yes, you will have to do that. You will have to show up at those times as much as I could say, you know, oh, if you don't feel good, rest, or if you're so tired, make sure you're resting.

Yes, that's important.

But there are going to be days that you do not get to do that. And I know that I'm speaking to all the moms and all the parents out there as well, where you don't have a choice. A lot of days you don't get to cancel. You don't get to cancel on certain people. You may never get that meeting again. You don't get. All of these people are waiting on you. So there will be days where in. In lots of them in a row where you just have to show up. And I'm telling you, Grace is going to be your best friend. Grace. And knowing that you're just doing your best and that showing up a lot of days is enough. You're going to have a lot of days where you are fierce, you are just like, making things happen. And you're showing up at your best. You're showing up in your greatest light. And trust me, as long as you are doing your best, all of the time on the days that you're just showing up, that's ok. And the only way to get to where you want is to know that it's okay and give yourself grace on those days where you're like, oh my God. I just feel like I have had three weeks in a row where I am not my best and, you know.

I've had a couple days where I've.

Had to apologize to my team. I'm like, I am so sorry. I don't feel like I have a lot of energy today. I'm just kind of here. But I'm gonna show up for you and whatever you need, I'm gonna do my best to get it done. They would rather know that than have you put on a fake face all of the time and just think that you're completely invincible. And then for you to go h hide and feel like you're going to crumble and break down, I would much rather show up and be completely honest so that I can continue to move forward, you know, in a way that I know is actually sustainable and maintainable. It's not maintainable for me to pretend it's not maintainable for me to pretend that this is not hard. It's not maintainable for me to pretend that I'm happy all the time and it's okay to let these feelings be happening to you. We are so afraid to feel our feelings. We're so afraid to feel a different emotion than happy. Almost as if we think that there's something wrong or there's something wrong with us. Friends, there is so much going on in the world right now that it is so normal to feel all of the feelings.

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One of the exercises that I've been doing, especially while building this business, because I am. Let me just tell you about the range of emotions and not just the range of emotions throughout a week or a month. Let me tell you about the range of emotions throughout one day. And I'm learning not to attach into them. Like, I picture these emotions as like if I'm putting my claws into them and almost trying to hold on to them, or if I can slowly, like, release and see if I can let go. If there's anywhere that I can let go of those emotions or feelings, I literally say it out loud to myself sometimes I'll be like, okay, let's just see how much we can let go of this feeling of anxiety. Let's just see how much we can know that if we're doing our best and we're trying to create solutions, that we don't have to feel this way, that we can just show up and do the task and do the do, and that can be enough. Another thing that I'm doing is journaling about the emotion. If there's something that I don't love, then I'm gonna journal about it and try to figure it out. And if I can't figure it out, then I write down that that's okay too. The other day I had a message in my DMs that really made me upset. Some was just being rude. Cause I was reaching out about light pink and sharing it with people and getting people on the email list. And someone got really upset with me that I had DMed them and said some rude things. And I just felt so upset by it all day. And I was like, God, I wonder why that triggered me so much. And I started to journal about it because it's a person in my DMs. That happens all the time. People are rude, it happens, big deal. And it's a complete stranger. And for some reason, this one just really triggered me. So I needed to write about it. It. I needed to ask myself why these feelings were visiting me. What is this telling me? And essentially it's okay. I. I can be a sensitive person sometimes. In fact, I can be a sensitive person a lot. And it just means that I care and I want people to know all of the love that I'm pouring into the brand and that I didn't want it to feel spammy and that I really wanted to get the message out because what we're doing is important work.

And I think that we.

Yes, it's. I'm not saying work, I'm saying connecting women in a different way. And our give back component to female entrepreneurs feels very important to me. And, you know, I just want to show people that if we can reach out and we can be bold about our dream, that we can do anything. And I think that's what it was, is it was like, oh my God, you're missing the point. This is about doing this and reaching out and being bold and doing all the things. And I had to let that be okay. I had to say, okay, who cares if so many people are not going to get it? And when people don't get it, it means you're doing something right. Right. Because you're not for everyone. I have never been for everyone. Always just be for those people who just are on the same path and they are meant to do the same thing as me. And they're meant to go big and they're meant to build dreams. They're meant to get that vision out of their body and into the world. That vision that you have inside of you is a gift. Don't waste it. If you don't get it out into the world, it will consume you whole and you won't be able to sleep at night and you'll never find that inner peace. Don't get me wrong, I definitely have my moments of zero inner peace, but I'm doing a lot of work around it. I'm telling you, all of these emotions and all of these things are for us. They are for you. They are for you to expand and to grow. And all human beings want to do.

Is expand and grow and progress.

Embrace them, observe them. See how you can be the most loving version of a parent to yourself and notice how good that feels to be able to re parent yourself. In a loving way, in a graceful way, in a way that says, I believe in you. You can do this. I know this doesn't feel good for you, but it's for your own good. It's making you grow. It's making you have even more compassion. It's making you see even bigger perspective. The more perspective and compassion that we can have about the world, about people in the world, the more that you get to experience a larger range of everything. Of emotion, of life, of understanding, of happiness, the bigger the range. As much as you don't want to feel that sadness or that anxiety or that depression, that. That expands your level of joy, it expands your level of happiness. Run towards those emotions. Welcome them wholeheartedly. Just open up and say, how could this be for me? This or something better? This or something better? That is what I believe.

And I fully believe that I can.

Never be on the wrong path. That helps me make decisions in a more free way. It helps me forgive myself faster for when I make mistakes. It helps me understand that every single mistake I've made is a lesson for myself, for my growth. And it will help me make better decisions in the future.

It will help me be more aware.

Of the people coming into my realm. It will help me make faster business decisions. It will help me be more successful, experience more joy, experience more bliss. Because I will have that full range of emotion. I will be able to forgive myself quickly. I will be able to move forward without fearing every single choice that I make and worrying if it's going to be wrong. And I'm taking too long to assess because we know success lies, loves speed. You guys, you are always on the right path. You are always on the right path, even when you make what you think is a wrong decision. It was the decision for you to learn. And I am so, so grateful to be able to talk to you and have this podcast. You guys, thanks for joining my personal therapy session. Always. I'm so obsessed with you. You guys know that I always love to see what your biggest takeaway was and who is listening to the podcast cast. So you guys definitely tag me. I love you so much. Until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone.