775. Declutter Like a Mother: Simplify Your Business & Your Life with Organization Expert, Allie Casazza

Before we get started, I have to give a big thanks to Gusto for supporting Earn youn Happy. If you run a small business, you have to try Gusto Payroll Deposit paychecks and file your payroll taxes automatically. Plus get employee health insurance, onboarding expert HR and more. Get 3 months free@gusto.com Lori.

Make it fun. Bring enjoyment into this process like set aside time on your calendar because you're going to get that return on investment of the time you spend getting clutter out of your way. You are literally creating more time.

Welcome to the Earn your Happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of Light Pink, best selling author, three time fitness world champion and I'm a crazy multi passionate entrepreneur. My journey has taken me everywhere from being a broke waitress, barista, retails associate and personal trainer with massive anxiety and no belief in myself to later becoming a multimillionaire in love with my life. In 2007, my husband and I lost everything. We found ourselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt at rock bottom. We had no ideas and I had no education to fall back on. This is when I found personal development and learned everything I could about business. Not by choice, but because I realized no one was coming to save me. The conversations on this podcast are going to let you know that you not alone and that we all feel like.

We don't know what we're doing.

We're going to give you the tools to help you face your fears, take action, start your business and grow those massive dreams that are keeping you up at night. It's time to create a life that you can't hide from and put so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. You're going to stop waiting for someone to approve of you and you're going to anoint yourself. Because I'm obsessed about building businesses that give women a platform. I want to feature you. So if you text the word podcast to 310-496-8363, you can get your questions answered on our Q and A segment along with a shout out. And if you rate, review and subscribe to this podcast, we're choosing someone every month to get coached and featured on our show. It just might be you. So let's get started. Welcome back to the show. Today's guest definitely felt like one of those girls who you want to ask to be your best friend and you hold yourself back because that might be really awkward. But I'm pretty sure that I actually did ask her to be my friend.

After this, after the show because I.

Just had such a great time with her and I knew I was going to love her because we had DMed back and forth quite a few times and I just immediately loved her energy and what she was about and just how she is. You're going to see, you're going to love it. So my guest today is Ally Casaza and she's on a mission to eradicate the hot mess mom stereotype by empowering other women. She's built a massive audience in a multi million dollar online business based on her proven family oriented approach to minimalism. She's also the host of the Purpose Show. You guys will love her show.

Go check it out.

It's a chart topping podcast and she's the creator of multiple online programs and courses that garner tens of thousands of registrations every time they run. Her platforms continue to grow every day as more women discover her life changing approach to creating an abundant life. She lives in Southern California with her husband Brian, where they homeschool there for young children. You guys, let's get started because I just had the best time and I hope that you do too, listening to this.

Ali, thank you so much for coming on the show. I'm so excited to chat with you today.

Thank you so much for sharing your platform with me. And I'm so excited. This has like been on my vision board.

Oh my God, really?

Yeah, I actually, like, I haven't, you know, when you're like, with the book, I'm like going from one interview to the next and like I literally look at the day the day before and I'm just like, okay, this is what I have to do tomorrow. And I didn't even really connect it until like this moment. This is a big deal.

Oh my God. Sometimes that's the best. Like when you show up to the big moments without like too much thought put into them.

Yeah.

And I actually think that that is when you are fully just like dropped into your purpose, is when like the big things are mixed in with all of the other, you know, things that go with putting a book out and putting your dream out. So it's like all of a sudden all of the work actually starts to taking root and it's mixed in with all the stuff and then life just becomes a bunch of things you don't want to do with things you get to do that you're excited about.

Yeah, I agree. Your podcast helped me when I was starting my business and my husband took like Chris's money course.

Oh yeah, the money principles.

Yeah. And we like, oh my Gosh. We like, we were so broke and then went to, like, wealth, like money almost, not overnight, but very quickly. And we were like, spending it all because we didn't know how to hang with money. And you guys have just helped us so much. We appreciate you so much.

Oh, my God. Well, this is so cool. Like, these are the moments that you live for when you're like, wait, somebody's actually, like, applying and listening. That's so cool.

Yeah, right? Like, wow.

It's really working. That's awesome. Yeah, Good to hear. So I'm excited to have you on today because, number one, I think you're just awesome. You're one of those incredible people who radiates through social media that you really feel like you know the person and you're just as authentic as you show up as. And you truly, truly are. It's just like a girl. I feel like when I got on with you, I was like, I feel like I've been here before, but I don't think we have. Yeah. And also, you just love giving back. Like, you love giving back to moms. You help so much. You have so much tangible information that truly helps women make room for their dream. So as we were talking before, so they can actually just start the thing that they want to do and just get rid of all of these other messages that are out there.

Right.

You have this incredible book out right now, Declutter Like a Mother, which is just like the best title ever. You know, I'm not a mother yet, but I'm all about decluttering. Like, I am so obsessed with your message because I really think that your environment is everything and it reflects all of the information about you to you and you believe your environment. So really, like, excited to dive into this conversation. So tell me a little bit about what you do and where it came from.

Yeah, I think like so many really great message based businesses. Mine came from my own struggle and it's very attached to like my motherhood. So I tend to like talk about it in that sense, but this is for everyone. It really came from, like, at the time that all of this started for me, it was like nine years ago and I had three really little, like toddlers and babies. I have four kids now, but I had three at the time. And I just remember being in this place where it was like, nothing is going right. And of course then I had this like victim mentality and just like, woe is me. Like everything is happening to me and not realizing how much I was creating what I was unhappy with and man, I just wasted so many days like struggling with depression because of my environment and waking up with dread instead of being excited to like be with my babies. And I have, I have an amazing husband. He's always so supportive. And I was just miserable, was surrounded by these blessings and like miserable. And I started to kind of wake up to that. And I think there was a, like, there's a lot, everything is connected, right? There was like, I was also raised very, very oppressively religious. And so I was kind of undoing a lot of that. And I was just in a really pivotal time of my life. And as I was kind of seeking guidance and like trying to figure out where this was all coming from, I actually felt like I kept getting pulled to the practical. Like it was almost like I was looking for this big spiritual aha moment of why I was struggling. But the more I asked, the more I kept getting these downloads. Like just look at how much I'm cleaning up all the time. Like all the friggin time. And I don't, I'm not a neat freak, I don't really care. It just was like all the time reacting to things, reacting to messages, reacting, acting at my kids and snapping at toddlers like, that's not me. I'm just not my environment. Marshall Goldsmith says, if you do not create and control your environment, your environment creates and controls you. And my environment was chaos and clutter everywhere and just it was a shit show. And that's what I felt like on the inside. And so it's like with the work that I've done and since then I've shared this online, I've developed a method. I've worked with so many people, one on one and passively. And what I have seen over, over again is it is never just clutter. It is always a physical manifestation of something going on internally. And that's just the life I was living in. And so I'm grateful that the downloads I was getting were so practical because it was like, what if there was just less stuff? What if you just like, why do we have four sets of dishes? Like just get just one. Like just simple things. So I was kind of like, all right, I'll try it. And I just got rid of so much crap. Like the kids had to so many toys. They're toddlers, they don't even know how to do anything yet. Why do they have all this stuff? Like they were so overstimulated and it just was our environment was just working against us instead of for us. And so yeah, this changed my life. And then that kind of spills over into how I realized that as I was aligning my space with what I really wanted, I was taking care of myself and honoring myself by putting effort into that. And that gave me space to honor my body and the way I was e. And taking care of myself or lack thereof at the time. And my relationships got better because I wasn't stretched so thin all the time. I mean, it's not about clutter. It's about the quality of your life. And so that's why I'm so passionate about helping people change that.

Okay. I resonate so much with all of your story. I'm like, are we the same person minus the children right now? But I love the conversation of environment because it is, like you said, it is 100% a reflection. Like, I know you love talking about physical environment, which I do as well, but also just the environment of the people around you. This is all intertwined. So I love that we're really talking about physical environment, because I do think that's so important. So when women are kind of looking around at their house right now, and we'll kind of dive into this a bit deeper, but just like the very basic. When women are looking at their house right now and there's certain rules or different things that are going on that just feel, like, so much stress. Can you tell me about a certain, you know, maybe time in your life or even a certain room that was just, like. Just so much energy sucking every time you either thought about it or went to it? Share that with me.

Yeah, I'm going to share mine, because I think it's from what my experience, like, in coaching, this is so common, and it's. It's. It's just. It's sad. But it's my bedroom. Like, at the time, it was the place where I would throw the laundry. I didn't feel like folding. It was, like, full of clothes that didn't fit me or serve my body anymore because it had transitioned so much. And I was never taught how to eat healthy, so I was just a mess in that way. And I felt like my closet was just screaming at me, like, you're gross. You're not enough. You should be smaller. You should be doing this. So the psychological effects of going in your closet every day and getting those subconscious messages, that's not good. And how many women are having that situation every day and just not aware of it because it's normal. But. And what was I telling myself, like, walking into the dirtiest room of the house at the end of the day and starting every day there, Like, I just, I did not value myself. And that showed up like, again, physical manifestation of an internal issue. I didn't value my marriage enough to rest and come together at the end of a long day in a space that was restful. Like, it just, it sounds like dramatic, but go into your own room and see like, where are you not valuing yourself? And how is that showing up in your bathroom? Clutter in your closet? Like, what messages are you giving yourself about what's around you? So for me, when I changed that, like, I just felt, I felt like I was finally honoring myself and respecting myself. And I deserve to go to bed in a peaceful environment. I deserve to wake up in a peaceful environment because what I am doing as a living, breathing human being is so important and it's like it's precious holy work. Like, this matters. And I, I shouldn't be walking into a disaster zone. And I'm in. I'm responsible for that. I am in charge of that. And so I will choose now to create and control my environment because it does have an effect on how I'm showing up every day.

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Okay, so I. You exude. You know now and I know that we still all work through things, but you exude just life, confidence, energy. I'm sure people have said that like it's just bright. You're just very bright. And I can tell that you are decluttered for the most part in your life. What are like, what are some of the beliefs that you had to let go of? Let's say what are three beliefs that you had to let go of or unlearn from your childhood, whether it was your parents or your external or your religion or whatever that was in order to become the Ali that's sitting here today?

That's such a good question. The first one that came up right when you asked was the internal belief that I am worthy of nothing, that I was literally with the religion, that I went to a very religious school, my parents were pretty awesome. But the school that I went to and spent all my time in was very oppressive of women in particular. And I'm a fireball. Like, I'm a lot. And I just being raised there killed my spirit. It was terrible. So being told the message was, you are worthy of nothing, you're pointless, and you need X external power to be worthy of anything. And so that. That affects you, that affects the way you show up, that affects your environment, because it's all coming from within. So realizing that actually, no, I am also a creator and I am worthy of good. Gosh, like, I couldn't even say that for a long time without feeling all kinds of stuff like coming up. And my body would tighten and I was like, physically getting sick from that belie. I needed to let it go.

Oh, my God. I swear, I just. I'm like, right there with you. So that makes me want to ask you because I know the years of work and all the different, you know, coaching and seminars and workshops and, you know, therapy sessions that I had to sit through to break beliefs like that. So can you tell me a few of the things? Like if someone just really resonated with you who just doesn't even know where to start, what are a few of the things? Because we know it's the sum of a lot of work. But what are some that worked for you?

Okay, I'm just gonna dive in and list them. And they're intense because I've done all.

The things, we all wanna do them.

So yeah, yeah, I absolutely. Therapy is huge. I actually shifted about two years ago. I shifted from, like, talk therapy to the woman that I see is a therapist. But it's more like energy work. Like, really getting into. Where does that sit in your body and using like, eft tapping to like, move it out, like, really physically doing something about it has helped me personally more than just talking about it. And then hypnotherapy, I love hypnotherapy so much. I actually have an app. I can send it to you so you can put it in show notes that I pay for that. I just do that at night and stuff. But then also hiring an actual hypnotherapist to work through, like, all the stuff from the past and religious trauma and just all of it. Those are my favorites. And then just honestly just journaling, just getting it out. It just gets out onto paper. And sometimes I'm compelled to just rip the page out and burn it or have a ritual of some kind to just like, bye. Oh my God, done with that.

I love that you share that, because I think we skip over that all the time. Like, oh, you know, that's what it was. And here's where I'm at now. And it doesn't show all of the. Like, I bet you didn't want to show up to all those therapy sessions. I bet the first one felt weird. I bet sometimes they're like, I know in the middle of some of my sessions or things that I did or events that I went to or whatever, retreats to figure stuff out was terrible. Like, I didn't want to leave the room. And I was like, this feels crazy. Is this really going to work? Like, now I have a vulnerability, hangover from sharing this crap with strangers, and Am I being dramatic? Like, that was a big one for me. Like, oh, my God, am I. Am I making this up? Am I being dramatic? Like, that was when I had to work through. After working through what I thought I worked through. Then it was like.

Because the one brings up another thing, and it's like, Then you're like, dang, how long am I gonna have to come to this person?

Forever, right?

And that. It's a big one for me, too. Am I being dramatic? And I'll find that I. That. That comes out of me sometimes. Like, if I'm having a discussion with my husband, Brian, I will often say, just so you know, I'm not being dramatic. Like, it will come out. And I'm like. And he's like, oh, I know. Like, he's so gentle and sweet. And I'm like, just so you know, I'm not dramatic. Well, it's a big one for me, too.

I wonder if that was your religious upbringing, because I definitely feel that. Because nothing. It just was like, you couldn't necessarily say how you felt or question things necessarily from a different position. So that's interesting. Okay, let's go into belief number two, because these are super juicy. I'm gonna make you just really think.

Yeah, I like this. You know what? I think a big one. They're just, like, coming up. This is. This is like. This is like therapy for me.

So great. We're decluttering together.

Decluttering my soul. I think a big one was not. I'm gonna try to put it into words. It was almost like, okay, now everyone always wants to, like, find their purpose. I feel like I had an in, like, a limiting belief from my. From school, from my upbringing that was like, you don't have a purpose. You're here to, like, work for someone Else, like, you're here to, like, work for God, and it's not supposed to be enjoyable. I don't know if that really makes sense, but it was. That was a big one. So. Okay, yeah, you're like, I'm triggered, and it makes sense. That was a big one. So enjoy anything. I was, like, scared to enjoy. I was scared to enjoy Sunday mornings for a long time. Like, when I detached from everything, I was scared to have pleasure in my life and, like, enjoy food, enjoy the day. And enjoying my work has been a big thing I've had to work through because I do love it so much. Like, I might. Is it supposed to be this good? Does it get to be this good? Am I allowed to have it this good? All kinds of guilt. And that actually was the root that Brian and I discovered with why we were sabotaging our money so much in the beginning. Just, like, get it away. I just have to. I just, like, gave it all away to charity. And, like, I'm so comfortable being broke and living paycheck to paycheck that I ended up living launch to launch because I didn't know how to be good. It's so sad.

Okay, we gotta stop right here because I have to talk to you about two things, because I'm just like, this is so amazing. Okay, okay, so. Because we have the same background, so it's. So whenever I can talk to somebody with that sort of very religious background with the same beliefs, I'm always so interested to hear your take on different things. Okay, so you mentioned that you had, like, guilt around feeling pleasure, like, shame, like, in anything. Just because it was probably a lot of, like, fearing, like, needing that healthy fear or never being worthy. And that's kind of that religious trauma background that you're never worthy. And there's always a lot of fear around the religion relationship, and you're always kind of in fear that you're not doing enough ever. So the pleasure thing has been huge for me, and I just talked about it on a podcast. So how did this lack of, like, allowing yourself to have pleasure in many things that you should, like, moving your body, like, your relationships, like, your relationship with something bigger than you, like, really anything pleasure in. We can find pleasure in so many things, right? Like, in all of the little things, things. But how did this lack of allowing yourself to experience pleasure have you put it all in one place that turned into a guilty pleasure that maybe cycled into something unhealthy? Do you know what I'm asking?

Yeah, I feel like, for me that belief manifested in me punishing myself in every area. Like, it kind of spread out over everything. And so I mean it, like, everything. And the biggest thing that I saw was I would punish myself, like, even, like, in the way that I would move my body, like, to exercise or I would, like, you know, want to get healthy or whatever. And like, okay, I'm going to exercise. Of course, it always came from force. It came from self hate. It never was like, I love myself so much, I'm going to do Pilates. No, it was like, oh, I've gotten to this point, and I'm awful and disgusting and I hate myself. So I'm going to force myself to do something that I have hate. I would do, like, the worst workouts. The stuff that I hate I would always get. I would be comfortable, Lori, with doing the things that were the worst for me. Like, the most uncomfortable because I didn't know how to allow myself to enjoy anything. So it was like, oh, Pilates. So Pilates and yoga are, like, my favorite things in the whole world. I could work out every day, and I do, because I love those things. But I would think unconsciously, Pilates feels really good. So it must not be doing anything. And I can't handle feeling good like that. So I gotta go do CrossFit or whatever terrible trend where someone's, like, yelling at you and screaming, you're lifting all the weights and freaking out and squatting. I just don't. I just would do the thing that felt not good because on some level, it was comfortable for me because I felt like I was being the good girl if I was miserable. And it seems silly because it doesn't. Like, it's hard to notice that unless you've experienced that kind of oppressive background of religious trauma. Like, you know what I mean? It's like, you're supposed to feel awful most of the time, and the only time you find any peace or any enjoyment is outside of yourself. Like, it's not okay for you to feel good. You shouldn't feel good. That's selfish. And so I punished myself all the time. I punished myself as a mother by. I believe that I willed my life to be that chaotic because I was miserable and I'm supposed to be miserable. So I showed up everywhere.

Yeah. So a mantra that helped me, and I just want to share it with you because who knows? Maybe you'll take it and you'll love it, too. But because I had the same thing with just like, oh, now I've learned how to kind of manifest things in my life or create things, or create, you know, things that are like, wow, enjoyable or things are showing up or money showing up or I'm getting some success in some areas. And I did the same thing, like couldn't keep the money, couldn't, you know, somehow I would sabotage something else. Somehow all of a sudden I'd be doing great in a project and all of a sudden I'd go on a procrastination streak and start something else. Like to totally sabotage myself and not realize it. Like, no, I'm just not interested anymore. Like what? Like I did it all of the time. So one of the mantras that really helped me that my friend Lindsay Sikornick gave me was how I take it. Like when I'm in something and I see myself starting to like, you know, freak out over it, like, how good can I take it? Like, oh, how much bigger can my bank account get? How good can I take it? And I just, and I know that you believe this too, but it's just like abundance is a good thing. Like, it's so good because especially when I truly believe, when women become abundant, we just do incredible things and we teach other women to be abundant and they do incredible things. So it's a trickle down factor that we all, all need to embrace the work that you've embraced. So I love that. Okay, do we have a third one? Do you have a third belief?

Well, okay, this may just be coming up because you just talked about abundance, but a huge one was, it was like, well, okay, now I need to start with what the belief is now. Now I realize that abundance is actually like our natural state because we literally are an extension of love itself. Like abundance is, it's our birthright, it's our natural state. We and others mess it up and undo it and get us somewhere else. So I guess the old belief would have been, gosh, honestly, if I would have heard like manifest and abundance, like I would have. The old programming is evil, selfish, greedy. You're supposed to, if you do happened upon abundance of any kind, you definitely need to give it all away. Yes, like for sure it's. I mean even still, Lori, like this is like years for me and still like, I'll say, I'll like say something about like, oh, like that's so crazy. I manifested that and immediately feel fear of who heard me say that? Am I going to get judged? Am I going to get a stone thrown at me or something? Like, I don't like it. It's just, it's so old and not helpful, but it's still there a little bit. So it's like that work of undoing always like, okay, why am I feeling this? Like, what do I feel like is going to happen? And doing that inner digging. But yeah, that old belief just really keeps people oppressed and especially women. This is the messaging that I specifically saw for the girls at my school. Just putting you down. You're not supposed to do anything except be somebody's wife and somebody's mother. And that's pretty much it.

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Okay, so question on when the old beliefs come up. Because for me I, I feel it is really weird. I'm going to keep saying it, but I'm just like, okay, she's talking from my brain. I completely understand what you're saying because it is the same like undoing of a same pattern. So when those beliefs come up, especially when they're religious and it doesn't matter, religious or not family beliefs can feel the exact same way. Right. Because it's, it's very tribal and to not be a part of the tribe anymore means, means possible. Like, let's go back to survival. Yes, Death. It's life and death. So you know, we're talking about like very deeply, like seated beliefs that feel very real. So when we're undoing them, it doesn't always feel good and sometimes it doesn't feel right and sometimes you can question yourself. So I know even for me around abundance and like when I first started really gaining quick wealth with network marketing, I had a lot of challenges around allowing that and letting it be a good thing. And I was like, even though I know it's a good thing, there's so many parts of me that come in and feel like, oh, it's greedy to have this money, it's greedy to take care of yourself first. And I had to start learning these internal cues of separating when I knew it was either my fearful thought or like an actual universal, godly, whatever, loving truth. So can you tell me a little bit about how you decipher between those?

And does it come right away or.

Sometimes does it take you a bit of work to figure that out?

Yeah, sometimes it does take work. And that's when I like journaling. But something that I've been doing for like the last year or two, it actually comes from something that I've always said to my kids. That's the thing about having my kids is they are teaching me how to undo all of it. They're teaching me how to live. Like it comes out. Kids are just friggin mirrors. And if you don't want to see what's going on, like don't have them because they bring it up like in the worst moments. So one thing that I always say to them is like, okay, like I try. There's no bad and good and you are bad. That was bad. And this is good. But more like I say like, okay, okay. Did that seem like it was helpful or hurtful? Like to. If it was to another person or to yourself or whatever, like trying to teach them to gauge their perception, their response. How did that feel in your body when that girl said that to you or whatever it is? And I've said that for so long that I just do that with these thoughts. Is this, is this a harmful, hurtful thought or is it actually helping me? Because I think sometimes guilt and fear, like they're natural emotions can propel us forward. Jealousy, like you could use jealousy to find out so much about yourself and, like, propel yourself forward and realize what you really want. Cause that's why you're jealous. Like, all of these things are good. So it's not like, that's a bad emotion, that's a bad thought. But it's more like, okay, like, is this gonna help move me forward? Is there something for me to learn here? Or is this just old programming? Does this just need to die? Like, what is it? And I think, like, that awareness is so powerful, and if we can just. It's not a. It's like, don't get to that point where you're like in the submissive dog position to your thoughts and you're just like, they're happening to me. Like, it's about taking ownership and just being a CEO over your thoughts. And, like, let me assess and become aware. Was this hurtful or helpful? And then from there I know what to do with it. If it was helpful, then how is it helping me? How am I going to use it to help me? And if it was hurtful, then it needs to go. Do I need to tap on it? Do I need to move it through me? Do I just need to. To throw it out and move on? But I can go from there if I have the awareness of the truth of what it was.

Such great questions. And I think as we move into the. As we, you know, our first steps, a lot are finding personal development or people find podcasts or whatever it is. And I think in the beginning, it's really easy to. Because it's so much on mindset and emotions and things like that in the beginning. And it's really easy to judge what you're feeling. And I find myself, even right now with building this company, like, really judging the different emotions. I'm. In the last couple weeks, I've been in a really tough, really down spiral about some different things. Just expectation, hangover of what I thought it would be. And I'm judging myself so hard to the point where I'm like, am I meant for this? Am I capable of this? Why am I feeling this emotion if I. I'm supposed to be a leader. And all of those things that are coming up and how I'm dealing with that fear is I'm observing that I want to procrastinate. And even just having this conversation right now, I'm observing that it's not a bad thing to feel the way that I'm feeling at all. And I know that, but it's so important. This conversation is so important for me to be having right now because I know that these times bring so much clarity and. And they. You know, sometimes the procrastination that we feel is an actual pause. Like, it's an actual, like, gathering of your thoughts, and it's like, okay, why am I feeling this way? Let's look at it. What is. You know, what is this triggering? How could I give myself a little more love around this fear? Like, what can I do about this? So I just want to point out, like, it never, never goes away, and you never stop asking yourself, and they're never a bad thing. It doesn't feel fun to be in them. Like, what are some emotions for you that you're sitting in right now that you're just, like, wish. Wishing they weren't here, but you're trying to appreciate them.

So. Such a timely question, because if you had asked this, like, a month and a half ago, I'd be like, I'd have to think about that. But now I'm like, I hate everything. I hate being in the middle. I hate transitions. I just want to be at the finish line. Like, that's the theme for me right now is I love change, but I don't like the transitioning part. I want the result. I want to be like, we moved out of California after, like, a lifetime of loving it and being there. And I know you guys did, too, recently.

Oh, God. That's a whole other podcast.

It's a whole other podcast. California, my love. And I feel so betrayed by it, and I'm just left now and whatever. But we're here in our new state, and I'm just like, I want the. I bought a house. I'm renovating it. I want it to be renovated, and I want to live in it, and I want everything to be perfect, but I don't want to deal with all the. Like, I don't. I feel homeless right now. Like, I'm just floating between hotel rooms with my family, like, trying to figure this out, trying to run a pain business, launching a book at the same time. It wasn't supposed to go.

We were supposed to.

It was all supposed to be finished months ago, and here we are. I feel so ungrounded. And so the big thing for me is all those emotions are so messy. The big theme for me has been, like, the realization of, oh, my God. My environment and my situation is not supposed to ground me. I am supposed to be grounded within. So I've been looking at my external circumstances to ground me and center me. And that's kind of a really unsafe place to be in. So I've been practicing and failing a lot, but practicing nonetheless. How to get grounded in my soul, in myself, really. I'm grounded. While the world is a tornado around me, I'm grounded. So that was a lot. But that's where I've been.

Well, that's exactly where I'm in. I am in an RV trying to build this company, and we don't know when we're going back Arizona, because it's like 110 and we have to be outside, and we're just. I don't feel rooted at all. And I feel like I'm freaking out and I'm really struggling. And I'm also like, how do I get grounded wherever I am? That is my daily question.

Yes, me too.

So I'm like, reading, and I'm trying to stay in a bit of a schedule, but also trying to allow myself to enjoy the in between the hustle. And, like, I'm observing, like, historical stories of building business and women who are CEOs and how they never took a day off and they never slept. And I'm like, if I'm not doing that, will I be successful? And just so many stories right now swirling.

That is such a big one for me, too. I. It's actually. That is the limiting belief I've been trying to work through. I would. I would say recently, but it's been a lot longer than recently, and I don't feel like I'm making much progress. But it's like, if I'm not running myself into the ground, can I. Can I have all of this? And, like, as I step back and let my team revenue dips every time, and I'm like, I know this is an energy thing. Like, I know that this isn't real. It doesn't matter. And I shouldn't. I don't want to have to keep going. So freaking hard to earn. Like, I know the worthiness is in the earning, and I am working on that, but I feel you. Like, if I'm not doing what, all of these. I just watched that movie about Madam C.J. walker. Have you watched that?

Nope. But I will watch it.

It's so good on Netflix. So good. I was watching that and it just. It was so good, but it also kind of cemented a little bit of, like, it brought it up for me. Like, see if I'm not staying up all night and hustling and doing all the things, like, am I able to have this? Wow. Can I. Can I not only stay, but Go up without me being fatigued. You know what I mean? It goes back to that worthiness of the good life and the way you want it to be.

Yeah, it's. You know, it's. And I hope anybody listening, like, this is a forever thing. If you're a human, you're forever evolving and you're forever, you know, releasing stories that we pick up along the way, and we're forever trying to also be present and enjoy. And I do think that we get better at it. I can definitely see, say, as frustrated as I am now. I can absolutely say that last year when we did this and I started fundraising on the road, I was like, having a shit fit daily. And now, now they're every like three days. So look at that. That is like so much progress. I've got like two good days and then one bad one, so. But I'm also like, in the space of even enjoying that process, as crazy as that sounds, I think that's ultimately just where I'm going to set my sights and goals is can I just kind of look back and laugh, like quicker at the end of the day and be like, oh, well, I was crazy today. Like, okay, I'm going to give myself some grace and we're going to try again tomorrow and I'm going to say a prayer night and just give it all away. And, you know, I really do, like, pray and surrender about 100 times a day. No lie. I'm like, take it. I can't take it. This is too much for me. Whatever you believe, give it to just please someone take. Take it. Someone take it. It's like too much to handle. So what are some things that you do around that? Because you've got a lot. You do have a lot going on. And I want to get back into, like, you know, some practical, tactical things of decluttering as well, but I think this is the best conversation. But like, what. What do you do to kind of give that away when it just feels like so much? Cause you have four children. Like, babysitting for me would be a lot. I'm just being honest.

Yeah, it. That it's okay. This is like, what is unique about my family is that I feel. I mean, maybe it's not. I don't know who might. Why would I even say that? I don't know anyone else's situations. For me, my kids are. Everything is connected. Like, they're a part of the business. They know, like, they'll be like, mom, like, what was your conversion today? Like, when I do a Webinar. Like, they, like. I don't know. Like, they're so cool. They know. Like, my daughter is 12 and she has plans. She's, like, working on her website. She wants to have her own online business where she teaches kids how to draw and create art. Like, it's. We're all in it together, and I think that really helps. Like, we've. Our family culture is togetherness. And so, I don't know. I just. I feel like that helps with the chaos, but in terms of, like, letting things go when.

When.

I just can't. Like, right now, like, I just can't. My husband text me right before we got on. And then it was funny because he was like, everything so sucks. Like, he was like, the plumbing burst. Like, it's gonna be like, five more days of this. The sink came, and it's the wrong size. And then he's all, oh, shit, I just realized you're getting on with Lori harder. I am really sorry. And I'll buy you a beer after you're done. He's like, I'm really sorry. And I just was, like, I just was sitting here like, okay, it's fine. Everything's fine. And I think, like, when. That. When those kinds of things happen. And in business, like, you're all always. I'm a mom, and I'm always putting out fires. I'm a business owner, and I'm always putting out fires. Like, it's constant. And so for me, the practice of. I mean, I'm just going to get super practical because this is how I manage. But the mornings, like, I do not do all the things in the mornings. Like, I start my day super late at, like, 11:12. And those mornings, like, I'm doing hypnotherapy, I'm doing yoga, I'm doing breath work. I'm taking, like, a cold shower and waking myself up and releasing whatever needs to be released. I'm talking to God and, like, what needs to come out of me today for me to, like. Cause I like you and I, Laurie, we are showing up for the women of the world, and we are expanders for them. We are showing them what's possible and that we are beacons of hope. Like, Source is going through us, and God is using us to bring hope to the world. I cannot do a good job at that if I am cluttered and stuck and stagnant. So I feel like the biggest part of my job is those mornings of clearing out old stuck energy and starting fresh so I can do my job. So, yeah, I Mean, I feel like I'm just releasing things all the time because what else can you do? Otherwise it'll get stuck. And I think that that's what makes us sick.

Preach. That just made me tear up because I really. I know that you are. You right there. Were just totally being spoken through as an example of what every woman is. And like, yeah, you know what you just said about us being that for women, like, that's what they are. They just need to, like, nobody needs to declutter.

They need to, like, make space to be expansive and to expand others. Like, when we expand, we allow space for everyone else to expand, and it's very hard to expand and. And do all of those things when your mundane pieces of your life are soul sucking.

Yeah, they're closing in on you. Like, I just got a great visual of, like, you know, all of these women listening, like, their home and their space and their minds are all closing in on them. And the second that you start to clear that out, offer it up, let go of your thoughts, you know, heal your past. Because that takes. That took 90% of my brain energy and physical energy for years and years and years, which left me 10% for nothing. Like, for standing in front of the fridge deciding what to binge on. That was about it for me. So tell me about the first. Like, really? And then Monday would come and I'm like, what happened all week? Like, what did I do? So in, like you said, like, there just comes a point where if you're listening and you're just like, yes, this is what it is. Like, I know that my space is cluttered, my brain is cluttered, my life is cluttered. Where are some places that we start?

Okay, so over the years, I've. I've developed this whole, like, there's like a framework, a method for making your life lighter. And there's like, we can. We get into all kinds of stuff. Calendar, your mental health, your boundaries, relationships, all of it. It's all like this whole path, but the first step is the physical environment. And I've spent a lot of time questioning that. And like, okay, just, you know, I'm always trying to grow and learn and be better. So, like, what needs to change? We need to start somewhere else. Maybe we should start with. And I always start with environment. It always proves to work because you're, like we said in the beginning, Marshall Goldsmith, your environment is creating and controlling you. You've got to be the one creating and controlling it instead. And so when. And it's so much easier to Go and physically do something than to just. Especially for like a busy mom who is mostly who I serve, she's so overwhelmed to get to me, she's got to kind of hit rock bottom. So being like, let's just like talk about your mindset it to needs. It doesn't work. Like, she needs to physically do something. And that's very symbolic and very therapeutic. And because your physical space is a manifestation of your internal space, she is doing that work. She just doesn't realize it yet. So I. I love having them start in the environment and even like, let's get even more micro than that. I always say make it fun. Bring enjoyment into this process. Like set aside time on your calendar because you're going to get that return on investment of the time you spend getting clutter out of your way. You are literally creating time. Like the unreplenishable resources. You would literally get more time. So make it happen. And start in the bathroom. Not a lot of sentimental stuff in there. Not super difficult. Old hair products with dust on the lids that you've had for God only knows how long. Like, it's just small. I feel like you want. You kind of are tempted to just go harder than that and do something big, but you're gonna get overwhelmed. Start. Start there. And that's where you start and end your day too. You know, you're washing your face, you're getting ready and. And get it. Get the clutter out of there and just see just in the bathroom, the most insignificant place in your house and how much better you feel. I have women that email me, like, I just. I don't know if this is weird, but like, I had my coffee in my bathroom today because I. It's the only space in the house I want to be in now because everything else sucks. And it just goes to show, like, our environment is affecting us, especially us women. We're very aware and connected to our surroundings. So instead of making that a burden and an annoyance, let's use it as a power, as a tool in our toolkit to have more time, to be a better mom, to be a more present business owner, to start a second company, to go for that dream, hire a team, you know, expand, be expansive. So, yeah, I like to think of it as that. It's just a tool in my toolkit, a means to an end. It's a way that I can win and I can win faster.

Oh, I love this. Because I have definitely. So I use this with. I even really. I mean, I've used this as Definitely. Like I've known that it's important to me, but I didn't realize how much I use it. And I just recently have been decluttering even more and I'm really seeing, and this is a fun conversation, like I'm seeing the direct correlation with my ability to get rid of things that are not serving me or I haven't used in a long time with my belief that I am the creator of abundance more and more. So the less that I'm noticing that I, I own in certain areas, if it's not bringing me joy. Like even when you talked about the bathroom, I just went through my bathroom the other day and I was like, I haven't used this in five years. Why am I keeping this? Am I afraid that I can't go and buy this again? So. And I'm like, I'm not afraid and I will always have more than enough money to go and buy something if I need it again. So I will get rid of this because right now it's sucking my energy instead of adding to it. So it's, it's like really crazy how that's a direct reflection. We were just having this conversation about my parents, which I don't think they listen, but if you do, guys, I love you. You know that I learned from you all the time. But they can't get, they can't get rid of anything because they have a fear around needing it again and not being able to afford it. So they keep literally everything, which then also creates chaos because they can't find the one thing that they want that they use because it's buried underneath all of the things that they don't want or that they have fear around not being able to get again or that they might need in the future. So it's a really interesting question as you kind of like it is a belief builder, buster creator as you go through and declutter. Right. It's just like so telling about all of our life and like that it is a step by step thing. So what are some messages that you want to leave our listeners with?

I think just it's empowering that what's going on in your physical space is showing what's going on internally and there doesn't need to be any judgment. I'm sure that you've heard this before, but in like the meditation space, there's something called being the judgment, gentle observer of your thoughts. I always want to encourage women to just be the gentle observer of your space because it has got hidden messages for you everywhere. Where are the gaps? What's not working? What always causes frustration? Where does stuff just tend to pile up? How is that symbolic of what's going on with you? What room is it happening in? It's probably your bedroom. For a lot of women, the bedroom is because you don't value yourself. So, so just notice and then set aside some time, get the book and I'll help you and set aside some time to make that happen and bring these little physical shifts and just watch, like, how light your psyche starts to feel, like, how much better you feel energetically, like you are literally making more time and clearing stagnant energy from your space. That goes a long way to give you more energy and time and space for your business, your relationships, your. Your health and wellness goals. Like, all of it. It is so connected.

I love this so much because I'm such a physical person and physical learner that to me, this is a beautiful, not only first step, but this is like every level. I don't care where you're at in life, in entrepreneurship, like, this is always such a valuable, like you said, symbolic, like, thing that you can do. It truly is like a cleansing no matter where you're at and a level of leveling up. I know whenever I've leveled up in my life, I've always looked around and been like, okay, we're going to shed some things now. We're going to like, create an even more, you know, expansive, clear environment that I'm not looking at that picture, like, oh, I don't even like it. Like, it's taking my energy every time I look at it or whatever that is. So I love this as a first step, as a next step, as a leveling up. No matter who you are, if you're a mom, if you're an entrepreneur, if you're a wantrepreneur, this book is going to be absolutely amazing for you. So you guys or Ali, where can we get your book?

You can get on Amazon Target. You can get it anywhere books are sold. And I'm so excited. It's got like so much heart and so much inspiration and then also like super practical. Like you're just going to know exactly what to do and be able to get up, make it happen, and then enjoy all of the benefits of what you did.

Amazing.

So what I'm do going to do is I'm going to buy three of your books and give them away to our listeners. So you guys, to anyone who uploads this, the first three people who upload this and tag Ali. Ali, what's your Instagram handle?

It's Ali. Underscore. That's me.

Allie.

Underscore. That's me. You tag Allie, you take myself, and you let Ali know what your biggest takeaway was from this podcast. I'm going to be grabbing the first three people who post that, and I'll be sending you a book.

So.

So until next time, everyone go follow Ally on her Instagram, go grab her book, and we will see you on the next episode. Bye.

Bye.