778. Achieve Anything You Want Through “The Shift Method" feat. Anthony Trucks

Before we get started, I have to give a big thanks to Gusto for supporting Earn your Happy. If you run a small business you have to try Gusto Payroll Deposit paychecks, file payroll taxes automatically and more. Get 3 months free@gusto.com Lori Another huge thank you to Issuu, an all in one platform to create and distribute digital content. Everything is optimized to post on your and social platforms. Get started with ISSU today for free or sign up for a premium account and get 50% off@issuu.com podcast and use promo code Lori.

The reality is is this thing we're looking for that will give us access to leave. The place we're currently at has always been with us but we are oblivious to it and that's identity. And so if we can find out how to find the keys of this thing and actually put in the ignition, we'll actually how to get to the next destination one.

Welcome to the Earn your Happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, Founder of Light Pink, best selling author, three time fitness World champion, and I'm a crazy, multi passionate entrepreneur. My journey has taken me everywhere from being a broke waitress, barista, retails associate and personal trainer with massive anxiety and no belief in myself to later becoming a multimillionaire in love with my life. In 2007, my husband and I lost everything. We found ourselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. At rock bottom. We had no ideas and I had no education to fall back on. This is when I found personal development and learned everything I could about business. Not by choice, but because I realized no one was coming to save me. The conversations on this podcast are going to let you know that you're not alone and that we all feel like.

We don't know what we're doing.

We're going to give you the tools to help you face your fears, take action, start your business and grow those massive dreams that are keeping you up at night. It's time to create a life that you can't hide from and put so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. You're going to stop waiting for someone to approve of you and you're going to anoint yourself. Because I'm obsessed about building businesses that give women a platform, I want to feature you. So if you text the word podcast to 310-496-8363, you can get your questions answered on our Q and A segment along with a shout out. And if you rate, review and subscribe to this podcast, we're choosing someone every month to get coached and featured on our show, it just might be you. So let's get started. Welcome back to the show. If you have been feeling stuck, this episode is for you. This is all about how to learn to truly shift your mindset permanently. And my guest today is Anthony Trucks. He is a foster kid turned NFL athlete and a serial entrepreneur with one serious superpower, and that is to make shift happen no matter what by accessing the power of your identity. After overcoming over 30 plus traumatic life events and navigating the identity shifts that followed, he's come to be known as the leading expert in shifting, which is making a shift internally to elevate how you operate in the world and it's.

Going to change your life.

With his unique system called the Shift method, he weaves together neuroscience, psychology, technology and hard fought life lessons to help anyone with a desire for more in their life achievement. Any goal they want or any goal that you have ever wanted. So before making it apparent their goals were actually set far below your true.

Potential in the first place.

So buckle up because it is time to make shift happen and get in to those life goals that you have always been wanting to achieve. Let's get started. Anthony, I'm so excited to have you on the podcast.

Thank you so much for coming on.

Yeah, thank you for having me. I appreciate you. I know here's one thing, you are a human that does cool things and you have a lot of people that hang out around you. So I appreciate you trusting me enough to be able to come and hang out with you and your people.

Well, I'm so excited because you have been a person who your name has always come up in our household in the past like year to two years. I know that you were friends with Chris before I got to get to know you recently and we met at a Tony Robbins and Dean Graciosi event, which was amazing. And you're one of those people that right away it just feels like you drop in with people and you've been friends forever. What do you think? Where do you think that came from?

Oh man, that's a good question. I don't know if everybody's asked me that one. You're good at this. You know what, to be honest, I think what it for a while I hated people. I didn't like people at all. But when I was a kid, I can relate. I'm not even joking. Like, it was more of like a. Well, I grew up in foster care, so the first like entrance of me into the world is my mom giving me away. And the people that I was, you know, in houses with, just, like, really heinous. Like, I. I was put in chicken coops and forced to chase chickens to catch them and earn meals. I was putting shopping carts pushed down hills. I was, like, forced to lick the bottom of people's shoes till my tongue bled. Like, real heinous human stuff as, like, a kid between, like, three and six. And then. So I grew up in a lot of man, a lot of just disarray. And then even after that, I was in foster care and the family I was with for, like, eight years before I was adopted. So I wasn't even adopted having any stability till I was 14. So for me, a lot of reason to just hate people just was what it was. And then on top of that, one of the things that us foster kids figure out at a young age is survival. We understand how, like, I can read people really creepy. Well, I went, you know, doctor, Amen, by chance.

Yes.

Yeah. Eamon does the clinics. He has, like, this little part of the test where he has you, like, look at faces, and you have to determine what the emotion is. And he says most people score, you know, five sevens, like, the highest. I scored a nine. Yeah, it was weird. I was like, I feel special. I'm a superhero. No, but he's like. To be honest, a lot of it ties to the fact, like, for me, with survival, I got to read somebody, and can I tell whether or not they're good or bad? And so I think with that, when I got to a better place in life later and my heart opened back up, I just. I can read people and I can have a conversation with where they're at, but I actually thoroughly enjoy humans now. So when I meet people and I meet you, like, I can meet you where you're at, and I actually have fun being with you as a human. So it's easy. I don't have to try. I don't have to do much. It's just if Anthony shows up as Anthony and you show up as you and they're two happy people, it just all seems to work well. Oh, wow.

That is. I mean, that was. And thank you for that. That was a lot, a lot in just a short amount of time, which is why you're such a great speaker, and you really painted that picture for us. You know, my dad was. He was raised in an orphanage, and then he was adopted at 14. So I've gotten to hear just some of those. I know it's different than foster care. But he has a lot of, you know, kind of crazy stories like that, just kind of being out in the world. So how did that, how did that time in your life, what were the, you know, because you talk a lot about your identity. What was your. If I was to ask you at age, let's say age 10, like who you are or how you felt about yourself, what would you even say?

Oh, man, I. So at that age, I was 10 years old, would have been what, fourth grade. So fourth grade. Ish. I was the only black kid in an all white family, an all white school for the most part. I don't think there's any other black kids in my school. And I don't say that as a sense of like, you know, the diversity issue. The problem was I could have easily been in that school and loved it, but I had a lot of black moments, A lot of other little bad kids that didn't. They were aware that I didn't look like them. And so I had some phenomenal friends. I also had this, you know, these friends that weren't even friends. There's kids that every day was a barrage. And then the other part of it was at home, I didn't have the stability. My first foster dad in that house was a drunk. Like he was used to beat me, beat my mom, like hide the cuts and stuff. And it was weird. And I was one of like at the time, four, eventually six when she remarried. But at that time it was weird. My identity was very. Why am I here? Because there was, at that time was a little, I guess, safer, but it probably wasn't. But I would walk to school and there's a tunnel between the house that I lived and the freeway. You would go under the freeway in this tunnel and the school was a block from there. And I would walk over and I'm talking transients, you know, you had needles on the ground, glass on the ground as well. But the funny thing is, when I would be at home, I felt like I didn't want to be there because the guys sucked and it all sucked. Then I would go to school and because I was treated poorly at home, I think I acted out and I had like just. I wanted more attention at school. So I'd get in trouble at school. The only place I felt safe was this hundred foot tunnel with a bunch of needles and glass in the ground. It's the weirdest thing. And so, like to this day, oddly gives me a weird sense of peace. I don't even know why, but it's so my identity at the time was like, why me? I don't feel safe. I'm unstable. And on top of that, the woman who I want to love me, my mom doesn't love me. So my identity just felt completely worthless, like I didn't matter and like, like I felt like I was treated less than an animal in a lot of areas.

Did you, did you have the feeling? You know, I talked to a lot of people who end up doing great things like you have done. You've done so many incredible things with your life. Did you ever have that glimmer though where you were like there's got to be a reason or I'm meant to do big things? Or was that like not even a flash in the pan yet?

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Not at that time. No, I didn't get that. I don't think I even got that till I was like a sophomore day, sophomore, junior in high school. I think sophomore year I got that. So we're talking like 15, 16, which when I finally got even the little shiniest glimmer. Now don't get me wrong, I was adopted at 14 and the family loved me, right? But just it's like it's one thing to have your family love you and one thing to feel accepted by the world because we were in a very. Just on top of that, we were a very dysfunctional family. My mom on top of that got a diagnosed with Ms. So like she had this sickness and so like she was the focus. It was just very. Just distraught and crazy. Grew up really poor too. So we didn't have much. So not only that, I was a stinky kid in class. Like all these just weird tornado of just suck for my life. So yeah, it was just, it was odd man. It was really odd. But there wasn't a glimmer until I finally got to the point of I tried football out when I finally got adopted. Cause I couldn't play prior to that. Tried football out. I sucked horribly for two years. Like I was real bad. And then it wasn't until I had made this weird, like, decision while looking in the mirror one day and making, like, an owning decision of, like, you're gonna be great, that I put effort into football in a way that created a different human inside. And it was at that time I was like, oh, this dude could be dope.

Wow. I mean, so for a lot of people, sometimes it's like those moments that flip on a dime. Did you have anything leading up to that moment, or what was it that you think started that shift?

There's two girls, man. And not, like. Not in a dirty way. Not at all. It was.

I was like, that's motivation, I guess.

Yeah, it might be, but that's the wrong one. No, it's. It was. It was sitting in class. Mr. Howell's English class literally is, like, this portable on the bottom level by the basketball courts at Antioch High School. And I was in class, and I checked out, man. Like, I tried basketball. I sucked at. I was like, I suck at all these things. And I had this black park I would come to school with and pretty much fall asleep under. And this guy was cool. He didn't care. But, you know, we kind of did our thing. But there was this love seat next to the. The far side away desk that you could sit in. So I sat in the desk, and two girls sat in the love seat. They think I'm asleep. They have no idea I'm listening. And one girl says to the other girl, simple statement, and all she says is, well, the reason I'm so bad is because I'm in foster care. And at face value, it's really not that big of a deal. But here's where it was unique. Laurie. She had stated my excuse for giving up out loud. That was the thing. I was like, oh. And it was a punch between my eyes, in my heart. Like, I was like, that is crazy. Crazy. Like, that's what it sounds like. I was, like, just sounding gross. And, I mean, I was checking out big time. I was heading down statistic paths. Most people don't know, but if you go to any prison in America, 75% of the inmates are former foster kids. It's crazy. It's crazy how I didn't even know the number was so high until recently. Then, like, half the homeless population, like, 1% of us ever graduate from college. So statistically, I am not. I'm heading down that path. And she says that thing. And so that sat with me all day long. And that's when I went home. And that's when I had that moment of, like, it overwhelmed Me that when I got home, in front of my mirror, I was like, I can't look back at this guy and think, like, you're going to be a bad dad, a bad husband, a criminal. Because the foster care, I had no control over that. And it just. I don't know what it was, but it spun. I was like, here was a big thing. I was tired of feeling like that. I just. I didn't want to feel like I didn't matter anymore. So I was like, what do I do? I got to be great at something. How do you be great? I don't know. Find out what you want to be great at and go do that thing. So I committed to two things. One was getting girls phone numbers. So you know what I'm saying? Back in the day, we had Tinder and Bumble. But the other thing, I'm just kidding. Was really football. I was like, I'm going to focus on this game. I got to figure out what to do. And that was the catalyst to me moving that direction.

So how did you start switching that story? Because I'm sure that you had your moment of like, okay, I'm making this decision because it was just put in front of you like that. But then it. Did it keep coming up for you? Because I know it's like, we can make that decision, and then it happens all over again. It's so easy to give in those stories again. So how did you start to switch that?

I created proof. That's what I do. Got to create proof. Because at that time, the only proof we have, and then wherever you're at in life is a proof of what you've done so far. So what proof did I have that I could actually be a great football player? None. So where do you get proof? You get through actions, right? That's why I love the statement, action ends suffering. So I was in a state of, like, I needed. I was just suffering. I was like, I didn't like this guy. So I was like, what do you got to do? Well, great football players, they lift weights, they run routes, they learn the playbook. You know, they do all these things. So I started doing those things. Crazy thing is, like, you're talking about those voices came up. Some were inside, some were outside. Teammates would go trucks. You suck, man. Why are you out there running routes? You can't. You suck. Why are you catching footballs, man? You got butterfingers? Why are you lifting weights, man? You're skinny, right? These are my teammates, and it's a continuous barrage. And so the first month or two, it's like, ah, why am I doing this? Right? No proof. The more I do it, the more proof I get. Like, oh, look at you. You got a 500 passes today. Like, look at you. You can lift more weight today. Look at you. You can run more routes today. Okay, you got. You could be all right. It builds and it builds. Month two, month three, month four, by month seven. Seven months. There's this. This. I don't know what it was, and I couldn't tell you what moment. It wasn't. Like month five, you know, day two, it's 2,700 hours, you know, I don't know what it was. It was this moment where, like, it took place. But when I got to seven months and the season came back around, there had been this transition to where I had this animalistic drive where you were not going to take anything from me. I had done too much work in the dark for you to take what was mine in the light. That was that. That was the moment where all of a sudden it just. When the ball's in the air, it's my football. I don't care if they threw it to you. If I have the football, don't you dare even consider tackling me. I'm going to stiff arm your face, I'm running by you, or if you got a ball, I don't come near me because I'm tackling you. That's just going to happen. There's no question. There's a different energy. And what I've told people is while I created this stronger body, I could catch a football. I was creating a different me. So what you create creates you. And when I had those conversations previously, I didn't have any proof that I was a monster. And phenomenal, right? But now I'd done the work. Now I was showing up and making the plays. What I created created a different Anthony, and I had proof of who I was now.

So tell me about that, that range of emotions, the things that you say and what kept you going, like, as far as. Did you. Did you visualize? Did you. And I know that so much of this is probably the same for you today as you, you know, are always evolving and shifting into other things. But so let's say before, you had the proof. So if somebody is listening right now and they don't have the proof, and it's like, you know, when your teammates say those things to you, you get a visceral reaction in your body. It feels terrible. I know for me, like, I cry I kind of want to hide, but then there's things that I say to myself, or there's things that I do, or there's things that I just like, you know, allow the feelings or whatever that is. What were some of your, like, things that you would do during that time between zero proof and proof, despite all of the emotional range that people are about to go through?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, to be honest, that times, like, it's. It's one of many times, right, that happens multiple times. And. And I think the concept of what you do, it carries over because I went from there and I got a college scholarship, played football at Oregon. I had a kid at 20 years old, met my real dad at 20 years old, played the NFL, got married to my high school sweetheart, and then we ended up having a couple more kids after the NFL. And then after that you lose a sense of self. So my identity went down, literally. I lost my marriage, my wife had an affair, I lost the family. The business was stumbling and crumbling. I was getting out of shape, all this stuff. So I've been in many places where everything sucked. I did, I lost my mom when I 2014 and I took to Ms. After 17 year battle. I felt like I wasn't even living a good life and all these things happened. But there was a point in time, like actually in 2016, when all the things I'd been doing for so many times, I've been up and down and up and down. I finally got to the point of going up and haven't gone down yet, thankfully. I don't plan on going down anytime soon. But the journey there is hard, no matter what stage you're at. Because for me, fast forward, I ended up rekindling my marriage. I have an amazing marriage. We got remarried after three years divorced and a crazy custody about and all that craziness, right? I have an amazing marriage right now. There's a lot that goes into the forgiveness that took place there and the growth we have now. I'm a present, amazing father. I love my business, I love the people. Like all these things. What kept me going during those moments were a couple things. One was realizing emotionally, I don't want to move. Emotionally, I don't feel like going anywhere. I feel like I suck. I hate my life. All these things. It is all of it. However, the longer I stay there, the longer I will stay there. Simple realization, you know what I mean? Because I don't want to move. Like I want to give me some, like ice cream in a Netflix movie. I don't Want to talk to anybody, leave me alone. Right? And that's how we feel. But the thing is, is if I don't want to feel that, I got to do something. That's why I was. I'm real adamant on this action and suffering because the action you must take is the one you don't feel like taking at all. But the thing is, is you create little by little some moments of feeling like some give. And now people talk about what's your why and what drives you. I don't think in those moments we even feel like we deserve the why. We keep putting in front of us sometimes. Not that we don't. I don't think we feel like it. And so for me, I need to create moments that are new and also ones where I go back and say, where can I extract some joy and some positivity? Because there's that. Ever seen that dove study where they have two women come in and talk to a sketch artist? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So one, like one person's talking to them and like describing themselves. Other person describes that same person. The one that describes the other person's beautiful one. Describing themselves is always ugly because we see our faults, we always see what's wrong with us, right? And so for me, it's like, well, I got to go back and like, no, there is that beauty. Someone else saw it. How can I go back and extract some confidence from the past and joy from the past? Well, Anthony, you know what? You did beat the statistics, Anthony. You did come out of this thing and played in the NFL. You did become a dad, and you were a good father at some point. You do have a hard fist. How do we get that guy to go and take those wins and say, look, you deserve a little bit, right? But then the big thing is how do I take the actions in the direction of my dream consistently and not fall in love with the destination, but fall in love with the day? It's a big piece because a lot of us are saying, I'm going to be happy when I have the marriage back. I'll be happy when I have the car. And this is an age old thing. I'm not the first person to say this. I'm not naive, but I do know that a lot of people say that, but they don't know what to do. It sounds good. Well, now what, Ant? Well, how can you fall in love with the actions of the day even though your heart doesn't feel like doing them right now? Now. And the goal is find peace, find joy in the moment, the little things that you do. Maybe you attach your energy and your identity to the effort, not the outcome. Because then you can say, you know what? I didn't get where I wanted to by today, but damn it, I showed up. I didn't want to show up, but I did and look what I got. And then little by little, we start creating more proof, more traction, and I start falling in love with the day. And then the more you love the day, the more the day happens properly and the more you start arriving at the top place you want to go. It's like climbing a mountain and with yourself only looking at the peak of the mountain or climbing the mountain, looking at the rocks on your feet and loving the rocks and loving the foliage and look at the animals. And then all of a sudden, whoa, here's Hop in a Mountain.

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Let's take a quick break to talk about Gusto. I had have so many exciting things going on right now and busy things with our masterminds, the podcast, and launching Light Pink. I'm so focused on creating memorable brands, products and services that it's really hard for me to shift my mindset and take care of all of the administrative parts of business. Luckily, I found the perfect solution to get all of these important tasks done quickly, easily and most importantly, correctly. Gusto offers a one stop shop online platform to manage your company's payroll, benefits and HR. I've teamed up with Gusto and they're offering you three free months when you run your first payroll at Gusto.com forward slash Lori Gusto keeps payroll, benefits, HR and management tools all in one place so you can stay on top of it all without juggling numerous subscriptions and logins plugins. You can also store all W2s, 1099s and other employee documentation online for quick access and reference. Gusto also automatically files and pays state, local, federal and payroll taxes. A huge burden off of our shoulders. I know you might be thinking I've already got my process nailed down and switching sounds like too much work. I get it. I felt the same way. 90% of customers though, say switching to Gusto is easy and 85% of customers say running payroll is now easier than their previous provider. To streamline your business operations, we're giving you three free months when you run your first payroll at gusto.com forward slash Lori. Go ahead and give it a try at gusto.com forward slash lori.

So good.

I am.

I am in that eternal lesson right now. So always I feel like, especially, you know, people who are listening to this podcast, we move that finish line over and over again and it just, you know, you have that day maybe of gratification. I feel like the more that you, you know, achieve sometimes the. The less time that actual, like, gratification is unless you do what you're saying, because just falling in love with the tasks or the mundane or what you get to do, and my God, that is a daily thing for me that I have to really just stay crazy focused on. So what is if you are going to beat yourself up, what is it probably going to be over? And is that something that you still do and how do you get out of it?

Me personally? Yeah, yeah, I'll beat myself up over not being consistent because I'm the consistency guy, right? I'm big on identity. And identity is this thing that when you are that person, it's harder to do. It's harder to not do the things that people struggle to do. So there are some things that we all know will move the needle for our lives and who we, you know, who will be good for us. But in the beginning, it's hard to do those things. It just is because it's not who I am yet to do it. The more I do it though, the more it becomes more difficult to not do it. Like, for you, you exercise, you train, right? It's who you are to be in shape. It's part of your brand, it's part of your humanity. It's part of your identity. Some people go, lori, how do you always go to the gym in your head? You're like, I'm not the same if I don't, right? And so the idea is like, you find out who you are and you stay in alignment with who you are. So my things that come up are like, whenever I do things that I think if somebody was to see me that it would make me feel inadequate. Those are the things that I battle, right? So when people ask, like, what's your workout regimen? Like? And I'm like, I get down. Because I do get down when I train, but I'm in book launch mode right now and I haven't worked out for like five days and I feel gross, it's like, you know what I mean? Like, you're like, I don't even talk about working out right now because I don't want to be inadequate or out of alignment with who I am am. So for me, it's always going to pop up and everybody, whenever you start looking at who do I see myself to be and did I do the things that keep me in alignment with me and if I didn't do them, I got to be aware of them and snap back into them. So like I got, I cleared my schedule next week and cleared some regimen where I'm getting up early no matter what, getting workouts in period. Right. It's just I got to get back to feeling like me because then I get to that sense of power. But they're all different for everybody else. For some people it's like, you know, I want to be a great mom. And for some reason I find that I'm more tired. I usually don't yell at my kids, but it's been a hectic summer and all the crazy is going on. I've been yelling at my kids a little more often than I'd like to. No one else knows but me and them. Nobody knows. But you know what? I feel icky. So I'm gonna go have a conversation and say hey, Billy, Susan, whoever kids names are like hey, mom's been acting up a little bit and I apologize. I want to get better. Let's go. Just that all of us go for a walk today. Something like that helps me get back to the alignment of I feel like a good mom again in or same if you're a business owner. Like ah, you know, I've been. Business been tight. The pandemic hit. It's been, you know, finance has been a little bit awkward and so I've been a little more on edge and I've been yelled at my workers and like I need to have a conversation, let them know that I apologize and I feel that, that they probably haven't had the best me for a bit. And I, you know, these little things get you back to the alignment when you feel like you're out of it.

I can. It makes me think about all the times where, you know, we kind of, we kind of start to scan our lives for like, okay, where does this. What doesn't feel good? What do I need to do? What action do I need to take? Kind of like when you, you know, if your business isn't doing great or feeling great, it's always looking at yourself and saying, what action can I take? And it's, it's the resistance to the action. So with a lot of people, one of the things that we do to self sabotage is that we don't know what action to take. So let's start there. What, what do you Tell people when they're like, I don't even know where to start.

Now we know what to do. Damn it. Shut up. Yeah. Thank you. If I'm being on, I mean, I think we live in this, this. I call it the epidemic of shelf esteem. We. We buy things and consume them and then doesn't come off the shelf of our house or our email inbox for courses. 93% of people, I think, don't finish courses. I heard. And then, like 50% of people buy teachable studies, don't even log into the courses they buy. So, like, you know what to go, go learn that thing. And if you learn that thing and it goes into your head, less than like 3% of people actually apply it. It's weird. Like, that's why. I think that's why there's the 1 to 3% they call it, you know, like, because these people are doing the stuff. Like, we're just doing it. It's not like there's some magic. I got a brain and two fingers, and I got, you know, I got 10 fingers, I got two hands. So we got these things going on, right? We just do the work. And I think what ends up happening is there's a separation. Now, I believe the reason that we're good at making excuses is because we have this area where, like you said, self sabotage. And I always look at self sabotage and go, how do we get to that? How does that become the thing? And here's what I notice noticed. People will not. Will not settle for less than we believe we deserve. So we will. We will fight for what we believe that we deserve. And what I find is whenever people at a certain level have done work in the dark, they come out to the light. And they will not settle for less than their heart knows that they deserve. And this shows up in a lot of areas. It'll show up in how I. How many phone calls I'll make to get my brand in front of somebody. You know, how many people I'll tell how I will show up in my heart on social media talking about this thing because I know how great it is. I know what I put into it, right? It'll happen in relationships. Hey, you know what? I'm not going to settle for what you're doing right now. This isn't okay. I deserve better than this. I'm not going to have somebody lie to me. So that happens. Now, if you realize that you didn't do the work you did some of it, you didn't get things done. You didn't consume didn't apply. What happens is you will still fight for what you believe you deserve. Unfortunately, you believe you deserve less. So you self sabotage. You create minimal things. You don't shoot above that because God forbid you did achieve higher than that. What if somebody finds out you don't deserve it? Then we self sabotage it come back down. That's why people who like to do bad things in relationships and get amazing partners, for some reason that thing goes wrong. They're the ones out there doing like Ricky Bobby's dad and like, ah, this is too good, they run away, right? So the idea is like, I think that people get to the point of like, I think internally they don't believe they deserve it. So they will make excuses and they will shut down and they won't apply. But those who are doing the things in the public eye and they're shining and they're on it, I think all they did was more work in the dark.

So that's how we get to the place of deserving, you're saying, building that confidence through actions. And what happens if people have, there's so many things where they have maybe a lot of shame or they truly feel like they, they don't deserve it and that they need to keep beating themselves up. What are some of the things that you, what are some of the tools that you would give to them?

Well, first is gonna be ownership, right? Because if you feel that way, let people in, let, let people know you feel that it's an ownership thing. And I look at this like metaphorically like a house. I think we, we've all, we've built our house. Like they say, you, you made your bed, now laying it, you've built your house, now live in it, right? And the problem is no one wants to be homeless. So people don't leave the house to go live on the streets. They live in this house of shame, of guilt of whatever they did wrong. And they keep beating themselves up, but they don't eventually, at a certain level, they realize, I don't like being here, I don't like being here. But they have nowhere else to go. We're going to go. So what I look at is you can leave that house today and go put a brick down across the street for a new beautiful house. Just a brick conversation, an apology, an ownership. You may have to go back to the house to stay the night, but it's still. But little by little, day by day, you put a new brick down. After a while, could have been a year, two years, whatever it Is there'll be a point in time when you go, you know what? I don't gotta live in this house anymore. I have another one. And I go transition as one where I feel like I have the right to live in this house because I built this thing. I had those conversations, I made those calls. I made things right that I had wronged. I made it apparent that I was the problem, right? Whatever it was. It's like when you have those things, you just got to go create some new place to live. And it happens. I'm big on the actions, man, because I think the world we live in, it's very big on the thoughts. And I get the thoughts are big piece, but the thoughts, the desires, anticipations, but all those things only are useful if I've done something. And the action isn't always building a business. The action could be simply owning what your own words out loud to yourself, hey, you gotta be better. That could be the action. The acting could be taking a walk outside and, you know, and realizing, like, you know what? I'm not the kind of shape I want to be in and I need to do something about this. Like, no matter what it is, it's going to be an action of ownership. Could be. But there's got to be something you do beyond the wanting and the desire. There's a Drake rapping statement he says is there's more people that want it than people that got it. And I think that's heavily true. So you want it, you now got to do something to build the brick outside of wherever you're at now so you can eventually move to that new house.

Else, oh, it's so good. I can think back to all the times that in order for me to even take the action, that was a huge place I needed to start. I either needed to have a conversation, I needed to bring something to light. I grew up in a really restrictive religion and I just carried so much guilt around that and hid so much from everyone in my life. Like, really felt like I lived a double life for a long time and that. That crippled me when it came to kind of coming out in the world as like wanting to speak about different things and wanting to, you know, help different people. It was like, how can I do this if I. If I'm so not even transparent to my family and I've been lying to them and I feel like this terrible person because of X, Y and Z. So for me, it really started with just like you said, like, conversations with people. I had to even know what I was working with. And I had to work through these layers for myself before I could even take action, because I was so afraid of what would happen if I took the action, because I didn't deal with that underlying, you know, emotion and stress and just ownership of where I was at in my life. So I love, love, love that. Okay, so, you know, there I'm back in the. Back in the Midwest, lots of different. There's everywhere you go in the US there's kind of like different themes that I find of people, of maybe why they. Why they don't take action. One of the big things that I see back here that we hear even when we go out to dinner with old friends, is a lot of people will say, you know, well, it's different now. I can't do. I have this family. And one of the things that when we were with you, I know that you involve your family a lot, and it doesn't stop you and your wife from doing the things that you want to do. So how do you incorporate your family into maybe some of your goals or your life goals or the way that you want your family to be? Maybe it's patterns that you're breaking. How do you even go about that? I don't have a family yet, but I need to know all the things.

Yeah, yeah. Well, I don't have all the answers. I have the answers that work for me, so I'll start with that. To be honest, man, a lot of it boils down to the fact that. But there's two pieces to how I focus on this. One is we live in this perpetual world of generations doing what generations did because no one breaks it. And what I noticed is a lot of the people in my area that I grew up in is, you know, kind of a lower income area. The thought is always like, you know, I want to work real hard so my kids can do whatever they want. So all that the kids see is mom and dad working real hard to do with the kids so the kids can play sports and whatever, right? But then when their kids end up, you know, getting to be parents, their parent, their kids, they go, well, you know what? My parents worked real hard so that their kids do what they want. So I'm going to work real hard, hard so my kids can do what they want, and they do the same thing. And it just becomes a cycle of a bunch of people just working because their parents worked. And the work is stuff they don't love. It's just, I got to do it. So I pray to buy enough Money so my kids can do whatever they want. And the kids are never shown what it means to do whatever you want. So I'm like, that's just a weird way of thinking. Like, I'm going to show you how to drive a car so that one day you can drive a boat. Like, what are you talking about? It's. It's the logic in a weird way. Way. So for me, what I realized is, like, I want to live my life in a way so my kids are normalized to the fact that there is no other option. You just. You have. You just do whatever the hell is cool and makes you happy. Like, there isn't this logical part of their brain that goes, I got to work real hard and do something I hate doing. No, I fight to do it. They watch my wife and I have discussions on business and money and what's good and what's bad. Every night we do what's good and bad. It's called good day, bad day. Good part of the day, bad part of the day. We talk about it all open. Hey, dad, what's your good part of the day, man? Had this issue with work. I got to get rid of a staff. Someone's doing something. Like I talk about it, or when we do, good part, hey, we just close the deal, man. It's a 100 plus thousand dollars deal. It's going to be good for the family. Like, we talk about it, we're going to do with it, we're going to invest in the properties, we're going to do some stuff here. And so we had discussions, and so I involve the family so that my kids are seeing what it means and what it looks like to work hard doing something you love. So when my kids get older and they have this desire and anticipation, not only can they be like, hey, I want to do this. This knowing we're going to support them, but we can actually support them because we can be present. Because I don't have a job, I have a life I love that makes me money, if that makes sense, which I'm sure you get it. And so that's kind of where we incorporate them. And then outside of that, the other part of it is I actually am present as a father. I don't want my kids to be robbed of a typical normal experience of life because I feel like they'll be socially inept if I take them out of schools. And I kind of, you know, hey, we had enough money, so let's put them into these areas and keep them away from the bad Stuff and don't teach them this. I'm going to be worried when they turn 18 and go to the world. Like, is he going to make it home? Does he have to talk to people? It's like, I need these kids that have some human skill sets and so I never rob them of their hardships. And we force them into positions where they have to learn to develop the hard, necessary lessons for life that I don't want to get in the way of, but I don't want to put them in my position. I don't want kids that not have dad and not have mom. I want them to know their lessons loved. But for us, like, we. We force our kids oddly to like do things they don't want. They got specific chores they have. They tie in all their energy, their sports they play. They're going to do it. My daughter today, she's not doing swim this month. She does swim year round, but she has no phone today because for her she has a task of if you'd have no swim, you do 100 push ups, 100 sit ups, 100 squats a day. It's going to take her 20 minutes to get it done. She didn't want to do it yesterday. Yesterday. Totally cool. I don't want to give you this phone because your version of hard in life right now is going to be that if you can't do that, I've robbed you of a hardship. So sorry, no phone. So we incorporate their life of understanding what it is, but they're also watching us do it and build it. So there's kind of that duality of you're seeing us. So it's not this arbitrary conversation. We also include them in how life should be lived. But also they watch. They see my wife run her businesses. They help at the businesses that they've seen me on stage, like they see what we do. So it's also not this thing where they're separate and only at home as just a dad.

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If I were to ask your kids right now, what's a belief that you have, like, a. A really powerful, positive belief that you've gained from your dad, what do you think they would say?

Trucks just don't just show up, they show out.

Oh, that's good.

It's real, y'. All. I do. I'm serious. I. We. My daughter, she's a swimmer. We talk about this, and she's like, did I show up and show out today, dad? Hell, yes, you did, girl. So I'm real big on, man. I think people just show up to life, and then they're okay with taking, like, the, you know, consolation prize or the, you know, hey, I'm, you know, as part of the team. What do they call that? I don't even know what it's called. The participation trophy. We don't do that, bro. I don't care if you're on the team. Did you ball out? Did you play? And it's not to say I only love you if you won, right? It's not the case. It's to say, did you do the best you could? Because if you do the best you can, oddly, people simply. They do well, right? If you're doing the best you can in practice, I'm talking every day in practice. It'll show up in the games. So do we show up every day in academics? All my kids are in honor roll like last year at their private school. Because we kept them there because we wanted them to actually go to school. I wasn't about to teach them because I'm a bad teacher. I can't do all that. But they. Of all the kids in school, there's like, you know, some 60 kids. There were only three. There's three kids that got it. The academic award or whatever is for. For academics, right? Then one other kid and then the twins. Like, it's big for us. My oldest son's 4.1 GPA. But they. It's normalized. It's not like pulling teeth. It's just. It's who we are. Trucks don't just show up. We show out. And that means showing out in every dynamic of how you can in your life.

So what's the conversation when they don't. When, you know, they don't do their best, or when they. When they have even, let's say, when they've done their best but they fail?

What are.

What are those two conversations?

It's not who they are. We aren't the people. The thing is, one, it's. First off, I said it's not who they are, but it's more like, it's not who we are. The conversation is always around, hey, we saw you do your thing. Were you tired? If you were tired, you couldn't do it. Let us know. But if they're like, I'm not tired. Then, like, all right, well, is that who you are? Are? Because I'm the guy that talks about identity. Like, I tell them, like, hey, trucks don't lie. We don't. We don't do mischievous stuff. Like, we don't. We're not sneaky. It's not who we are. And I. And I say that not to say that you aren't one of us, right? Or you're a bad person. But, like, I frame it as the action wasn't the proper action. I'm not saying you're stupid or you're dumb or you're bad. No, no, no. It's not who we are. You know that, right? Like, we. We treat people, right? We don't make fun of people. We don't gossip around this house. Like, we don't do that. And so when we're framing it, it's like, yeah, that's right. It's not who we, as a collective base are. It's not. I didn't say it's not who you are. Right? It's not who we are. Because what I want them to frame it as, like, you're part of A unit, part of a family. And I don't want to. I don't want them alienated on the outside. But if they do something out of character, first, we have a discussion of what was the cause of it. Honestly, you know, mom and dad just. I didn't feel good. I was up too late last night, and I probably should have went to bed earlier. Cool. Well, we don't do that. We got to get to bed early. You know that, right? And then it's always. It's never around winning and losing in our house, just so we're aware. Like, my daughter doesn't win every race. You know, my son has won every race. My. My boy doesn't win every football game. I don't think we've ever been, like, bothered by a win or a loss. I mean, almost ever. It's never a. It's never based on that. It's a matter of, like, when they just. They're not showing up as them. So, like, if she's losing every race, like, hey, what's going on right now? Like, is there some off? And we'll have a discussion. Like, hey, you know, we don't hide that from the family, if that's bothering you. Like, we got to talk about it, you know? And so it's just things where we have a discussion on what were the things that limited their ability to show out. Why didn't you today? What was that thing? And if we can talk about it and figure out what it is now, we can go into a space of like, all right, let's figure out what we do to fix that so it doesn't happen again. But they don't get barraged. And it's never about winning and losing. It's always about the efforts.

Such a good conversation, not only for kids, for any. For any relationship that you have in your life, just those. Those questions to be aware of where everybody's at. And it's super powerful. What are you personally kind of like, where is your headspace at right now? What are you marinating on? What are you working through? What are you loving talking about? Like, what's. What's kind of your theme for this point in your life?

Identity Shift, man. That is my. That's my thing. So there's a book I have coming out August 24th. I think when everybody hears this, it'll already be. But that's been. It's been the heart of what I do, mostly because there's this cool space when I think you get to a place in life and it could Be in any capacity. By the way, it doesn't have to be what I do or what you do. It's where you do something you love to do and people love that you do it. It's a really cool place. I don't know how to explain it. It's like a good little oasis, man. It's like, ah, I love doing this. So I pour out, but I fill up at the same time. So like the book was one where I was like, I got to do take the stuff we do with our shift method, which is part of our complete coaching methodology we use and like people. I love it. I love putting it through people through it and all this fun stuff. But I wanted to get it to more to the world at a scale people could grasp and understand and really give people a tool if they never even talk to me, you know, or even work with us, like to understand how powerful identity is and understanding that it's not this philosophical woo woo, like I played the NFL. Like I get like an anchored base to like a sense of our, you know, know, communal reality we'll call it. But I am a spiritual human. I understand it exists. But when I come down to try to work on things, I come from like a playbook mentality. Like what's the process to do XYZ to get us to the place we want to get right? So that's been big on my head is like, how do I get people to understand this? And then how do I get them to apply it, which I, I put in that book. And then from there it's like my heart is heavily geared. Like how do I lead this charge of having the discussion around the category of identity and identity shift shifting? Because if I can get people to really grasp this, I make this in the book. I have this little metaphorical story. I talk about where it's like we lose keys. My wife loses her keys all the time. In fact, she lost her keys today. It's funny, I told her, I was like, you're in my book on doing the same thing. What do you mean? I'm like, well, you seem to lose your keys all the time. And imagine a person running around the house trying to find their keys and all of a sudden they get frustrated and they sit down and crunch their. But makes a noise. Well, the key's in her pocket. It's like, oh geez. Right? And the reality is this thing we're looking for that will give us access to leave. The place we're currently at has always been with us. But we're oblivious to it. And that's identity. And so if we can find out how to find the keys of this thing and actually put an ignition, we'll actually find how to get to the next destination we want.

Oh, my gosh. Okay, so you have to just elaborate a little bit before we close out on here, just on the identity shifting and share some of a process like something that you could leave our listeners with that even if they just kind of start doing these things or looking at it in this way, that they'll start to notice shifts.

Yeah, I got you. It's what we do. So the 50,000 foot view of the method is it's three stages, see, shift and sustain. That's the three stages. Now the goal for me, that's a skill set we call visioneering. It's really, most people have a good dream, but not a clear vision vision and they can't engineer a path to it. It's the weirdest thing. But that people buy planners with no idea how to plan, it's craziness. So the idea is like, I want to get people to the place of an identity, a version of their identity that has all the things they want. And what I call that is the zone. So it's visioneering into the zone. But the way that the visionary works is three stages. And so the zone is the goal, which is like when you're an athlete or anybody in the zone, it's like, man, everything seems to float away. You're in full speed, you're focused, no distractions, relationships on point, bodies on point, nutrit on point. Things just seem to work in your favor. Things just click, right? That's the place that I want to get people to because that's a version of an identity. You can get there and hold that space. It's just a matter of how you operate as a human. But how do we get there? Right? So here's the three stages, people. The first one is you got to find out your zone lags. You have to see your zone lags. Reason is the things that people choose to work on typically aren't their things to work on. They're over there trying to put together this puzzle with somebody else's puzzle pieces. It's like, that's not working. You're borrowing Lori's habits or Anthony's habits or my routine or her R.O. and what's it happens, you get to the point of going, man, I am dead tired and I'm no better. I'm not getting anywhere. Well, yeah, because you didn't work on your stuff. Maybe you're a poor communicator. Maybe you don't have good habits around food and you have addictions on different stuff. Right? There's things that you got to work on. And if you don't see your things, which typically, it's really difficult because I'd say it's hard to see the label when you are inside the jar. And so, like, most of us don't see who we are. So you have to do certain things to get outside eyes. Sometimes it's hard. Hey, how do you see me in a way I don't see myself that I could work on. And it'll poke so many holes in your ego, but it'll be dialed right. So the idea is, like, when you can get clear on that, now I can go, okay, great. I know what I can give myself permission to improve upon. I know my actions. And then I go, okay, great. Second step is called the shift phase, but it's a personalized shift plan. You then go and say, what are the actions that I could take over time that would make me and shift me into the zone by knowing that the things I should work on are my zone lags. So what do I got to work on that if I did, these actions would end that pain, Create this new, positive, amazing space where I could get into the zone. It's just a matter of structuring out what that identity looks like, how it believes things, how it feels the whole flow there. Once you have that, the last stage is what I call a discipline system, A sustaining phase. Right, A discipline system. Most people do not have. Have this. They operate on hope. I hope that if I, you know, I really want this bad enough, I'm going to get up today, I'm going to do my plan, and we do it for a day. And it hurts, and I stop doing it. And then I feel even worse because I did it again. Look at. See, I suck. So for me, I go, now you have to have a discipline system, which is a structure of both mental and, you know, internal processes as well as external processes, boundaries, time constraints, controls. All this stuff that goes into really setting this great flow to where I should be able to get up. And my life tells me what to do today. I have it so ironed out and dialed that I'm not getting up. Hoping I focus on what I got to focus on today. No, no, no. Your life should tell you what to do. Now you can just get up and go into flow because you did it right and planned it now, if you do this right in the beginning, it starts to feel like, I got a coffee shop moment. I call it when I got something to do and I go to a coffee shop, I'll sit down, I got my little tea. You know what I'm saying? I'm a cock tea guy. Not coffee, but, like, I'll scroll on my phone. I'm like, ah, I gotta work. And I'll put the phone down. Like, I force myself to focus. The first five minutes, it's like. And then 10 minutes. And then all of a sudden, three hours went by. Like, we're in the world of three hours ago, right? And all of a sudden, the work is done. My emails are clear, I feel light. Ooh, I feel good. Right? That's how an identity shift works. And I've done the zone lag work, made the shift planner, put the discipline system in the first day, day, two days a week, two weeks feels a little bit oof. But all of a sudden, you wake up three months later and you've lost weight, your marriage is great, business is running smooth, and most people go, anthony, how do I know I made this shift? And when. You're not going to know the exact moment, but you will know when you go and say, how did I think about things back then three months ago? And you go, I can't even get back in the headspace. I was a different person. I didn't think that way anymore. I don't. I don't look at things that way. I'm more joyous and more optimistic. When you almost can't put yourself back into that headspace, that's, you know, you made the shift.

Oh, I love this. I've definitely, like, I can see where I've done this in my life for sure. You know, it just made me even think of this, this podcast. It's like, I actually. So I'm such an introvert. I don't love showing up for them. I love them. Ten minutes in, I'm obsessed. Best thing I've ever done in my entire life. But every Friday, I'm like, oh, my God, I have to talk to five people. I'm feeling. I'm feeling tired or whatever it is. And, you know, I. I immediately, in accordance to, like, what your discipline system is, I schedule things from what I actually know I want to do. Like, from my higher self. I'm like, okay, my higher self wants this, this and this, and she wants a podcast, and she wants these conversations. And I just know that once I have that structure, as long as I show up no matter what, I'm going to get the outcome I want. And it just goes to that idea of, like, you feel. You know, you're kind of saying in the beginning, like, you're. You feel different every day. You're a different person than you were the day before.

And it's.

It's like making sure that you plan from the place of the human that you know, like, this identity that you know that you are. You want to be. So, man, that's powerful. I cannot wait to read your book because I need it all the time. It's so funny. I'm so disciplined, but I'm always, like, wanting to also kind of be more disciplined or just find an easier way. Not an easier way, but even just. I find that sometimes when I find even, like, better, more empowering ways to think about it, that always just helps me show up when I don't want to, so. Especially when you're doing the hard stuff. Okay, where can we. Where can we get your book? Because we all need it now. Because every single person who listen to this needs to be disciplined and put action into going and buying your book right now.

Go get that.

Where do we go get it?

If you go to identity shiftbook.com, that's actually the best place to go get the book. And you go there, and actually, it's a kind of a simple process. You buy the book, and then you come back to that same website with the receipt and use the code eyhearnyourhappy. Ooh, got you. I'll give you guys an actual audiobook for free. The digital book for free. And a cool workbook, because there's this concept called increasing cognitive rigor, which means that we go through a process of making sure we ingrain what we're listening to and listen. Learning. So the workbook is designed to increase the rigor so it's not just something you read and think about like, oh, that's cool, but you actually put it into your life in real time.

Oh, so good. Well, thank you so much for being on the show. I'm so grateful for you. I know that you have done so much into our awesome mastermind groups, and so many people love you, and you've just really helped the way that people think about who they are and what they can do. Because this is. I think this is one of the most powerful things we can do, is to see ourselves in a completely different light, and we show up different, and then we finally get to have that inner peace and, you know, the relationships that we want, and that's. That's really what it's all about.

So, so grateful for you.

Thank you so much for coming on. And you guys, as always, what we love to do for our guests is to tag Anthony on Instagram. Anthony, what is your handle at Anthony Trucks?

Very hard to find.

Anthony. Tag Anthony Trucks and let him know what your biggest takeaway is was from this podcast. If you're going to get his book.

All of the things. And until next time, earn your happy.

Bye, everyone.