782. Our 3-Step Process for Making BIG Life Decisions

I think making the big decisions is going for what you really want. And so I hope that this framework kind of empowers people to go for what you really want.

Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of Light Pink, best selling author, three time fitness world champion, and I'm a crazy, multi passionate entrepreneur. My journey has taken me everywhere, from being a broke waitress, barista, retails associate and personal trainer with massive anxiety and no belief in myself, to later becoming a multimillionaire in love with my life. In 2007, my husband and I lost everything. We found ourselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt at rock bottom. We had no ideas and I had no education to fall back on. This is when I found personal development and learned everything I could about business. Not by choice, but because I realized no one was coming to me. The conversations on this podcast are going to let you know that you're not.

Alone and that we all feel like we don't know what we're doing.

We're going to give you the tools to help you face your fears, take action, start your business, and grow those massive dreams that are keeping you up at night. It's time to create a life that you can't hide from and put so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. You're going to stop waiting for someone to approve of you, and you're going to anoint yourself. Because I'm obsessed about building businesses that give women a platform, I want to feature you. So if you text the word podcast to 310-496-8363, you can get your questions answered on our Q and A segment along with a shout out. And if you rate, review and subscribe to this podcast, we're choosing someone every month to get coached and featured on our show. It just might be you. So let's get started.

And we're back with another episode of.

He said, she Said and babe, we're like really back. This is the first one we're recording. We're in our microphones back home in the actual studio in our home. How's it feel?

Listen to this buttery sound quality.

It's probably no better.

Probably not. We know so many people who podcast without, like really good equipment.

So how'd you feel getting home? And for context, everyone, we've been home about four days.

I feel so good. I feel like I climbed right into a cannon and got shot out into.

My life I got into.

But I feel amazing. It feels so good to be in your Own bed. I don't know what it is. Like, you, you know how you're on bed sometimes you're like, I. Before you go on a trip, you're like, I can't sleep. It's so uncomfortable. And you come back and you're like, how did I ever think?

Like, how have I ever had a.

Thought about this being uncomfortable? Because it's like dreamy. And I literally just make sounds. Like the first night we were back, I was like, oh my God, this bed, this bed. It's so good. So I feel really, really good. And we came back. I had a really big shoot yesterday for my light pink guide.

No, let me frame this. Not just a really big shoot. So I walked in after I went to the gym yesterday. There is a Christmas tree up and decorated. There is the whole dining room table decked out in like holiday stuff. Everyone. There must have been seven or eight women walking around in like shiny gowns, like Christmasy gowns. Like, you guys are all having some kind of fancy Christmas party. It was the best. There's photographers. And when I had left, I mean, I knew that Lori had a shoot here today, but I didn't pay attention, number one. Number two, it was just like in one ear, out the other. So I didn't even expect anyone to be here when I got back. So when I walked in to this Christmas shop, makeup artists everywhere, extravaganza. I literally said, what the F. When I walked in because I was in shock. It's like, what happened here?

Oh my gosh, you guys, if you don't know, we have. We are going to do some really incredible stuff with light pink. We're going to be starting light Pink guide. So it's going to be light Pink guide to the holidays or Light Pink guide to to gifting, Light Pink guide to hosting. We're going to do something for the new year too. And not only is it going to have incredible coupons on some of these epic things that we're going to be showing, it might even have some free month memberships to some different things. It might have some incredible things that links to things that other people are not able to get. And it's going to make your life so much easier. It's like all of Oprah's favorite things, but way better and more modern. I'm just. Sorry, Oprah. It's just the truth that's gonna make your life easier through so many different things and seasons. And it's really going to show a multitude of female owned businesses that you could support with incredible products that are gonna make your life better, easier, or you're just gonna feel so incredibly good using them or wearing them. So I cannot wait for this. Because it's collaboration at its full finest. Not only showing and sharing their things, but also linking it out and then giving you different coupons and things for that to make your life easier.

So I want to clarify, because you did a pretty good job describing what I walked into yesterday, but this is like a legit, totally free, no strings attached guide to hosting a holiday. Guide to your favorite rose cocktails, guide to fashion. For what, like, certain scenarios, right?

Yeah, for anything. For different holidays, events in your life, your favorite cozy outfits. Just incredible things that I. I'm so picky, Chris. How picky am I?

The most pickiest of them all.

The pickiest of them all. And it's things that only I would buy or use because they make your life better.

What I love about it is it's not like you're putting these guys together. You've gone out to all of the experts in your community, heck, most of them are investors or a lot of them are investors. And said, you're really good at this. Would you create this guide for all the people who also love light pink? You're really good at that. Would you create this guide for. I mean, the shooting, the planning, the production quality. I've seen you put into these. I know light pink is going to be legendary for the drink that it is. I think it's gonna be second and almost equally legendary for these free guides. They're super badass.

Well, it's amazing. Cause the drink truly is the centerpiece. And this is all about women coming together and connecting and collaborating. And it's not just about coming together to talk about. I don't know what Netflix show you're watching, which we're not opposed to, including the best shows. But it's really about talking about, what is that vision that you have? What is that dream? And how can we help get it out to the world? And how can we get it out in the hands of women? And that's what is most exciting for me about this is the drink is the centerpiece for. And you getting together. You coming together with all of your girlfriends and creating what we're creating here. And that is not only to thrive in your personal life, but also in your business life and have them come together as if it's all one. And have you blur the lines between life, friendship, business, relationships, and have it all be one. So that we're really Collaborating and getting the message out there.

I really hope that we didn't intend for this episode to be about this, but I hope that you guys are picking up a message, men and women alike. Who's listening? You don't have to know or you don't have to do all of the work yourself. You're forgetting to tap into your friends, your community, your circle of influence, your acquaintances, and saying, hey, how about a win win? I know it's going to be some work putting together XYZ project for me, but you're going to get to borrow my audience, I'm going to get to borrow yours. And that is collaboration at its finest. It stops you from saying, I don't know how. And it stops you from saying, I don't have time. And it stops you from saying, I wouldn't know where to begin. All you have to do is go out to your community, even acquaintances, and say, I've got an idea. Would you like to be a part of it? And everybody wins.

Yeah, I essentially, we wrote down categories of all of our dream things we would love to have in this guide. And we said, you know, we want incredible gifts for the home for people who love interior design. And I reached out to a friend who has an epic store and business, Kristen Hancock. And I said, hey, what are you working on that you would love to get out? And she's like, well, I have these amazing products. I have this glassware coming in. I have all, like this incredible things for holiday tablescapes that are super neutral and they can mix throughout the year. And I was like, yes, come over. Let's shoot it all. Let's link it up, let's share it out. And then we talked with boss babes. What do you have coming up that you want to share with the community that you're super excited about? Oh, my God, we'd love to share part of this program. Maybe we could give something for free. So, you know, that went on and on and on. Women with clothing companies, women with makeup companies, women with, you name it, things that we're excited about having and sharing, and we're putting it in this guide. And it took so much work off of us because now we don't have to go and buy these things and shoot them and link them out. They were either already doing it or they were going to set one up because they're doing it for themselves. And they're like, you can use this photography or let's collaborate. Let's go in on this together. Let's shoot them together. So that we both have this content. So it's been life changing, really learning how to tap in and collaborate by saying, what are you focusing on? What are you working on that we could share that we also benefit from with this guide.

At this point, you got to tell them where to get the guides.

The guide is light pink dot com. All you have to do is go and enter your email there and you'll be a part of the community.

It's light pink L I T E L I T E L I T E p I n k.com light pink.com, go get your free guides. They're going to be churning these guides out in mass. All right, so what we really wanted to talk about today though was how we make big decisions. Because I feel like you and I are making some really big decisions right now. And we've been making really big decisions for about the past 18 months. And I realized we really have a system, we really have a rhythm to making these decisions. And. And there's really three. And I'm going to maybe add a little fourth step in there. But there's three steps that we run all these decisions through. And the first step, and I'm talking whether it's do we start a business, whether it's do we sell a home, do we move to the city, whatever big decision you got on your do I stay in a relationship? Not us. I'm just thinking of examples.

Now you're gonna break it to me in a different way or.

But big decisions have to have a framework to work them through. And so we thought we would share ours. First and foremost, here's number one that we run it through and the buck stops here. Meaning it doesn't even get to number two. And it doesn't even get to number three if it doesn't pass number one. And number one is, will this decision give me extreme energy? Will this decision give me extreme energy? Meaning is it so aligned that even when it doesn't go well, even when it doesn't take off, even when there's work involved, even when we're in the messy middle, is it gonna feed me energy?

Yeah, I love that because sometimes we look at the decision and we're basing it off of the right now and what feels good and there is. There is present energy, but then there's long term energy. And I've made some bad decisions off of present energy.

Not thinking about what is this actually.

Going to look like long term. I know for a while we were looking at houses that were way out kind of in the, in the boondocks. And it was just a prime example for me that I got really excited about the house because the house gave me energy.

It was stunning, it was gorgeous, it was amazing.

But then when I dropped in and really thought about my day to day life inside of that stunning house, I was like, oh no, I've done this before. Made the wrong decision about. I got really excited about the shiny and the aesthetic instead of what is my actual day to day life going to look like when I'm all the way out here and I feel trapped? I've done that to myself.

I've got an example too. I've had some really, really good financial opportunities come my way and beyond grateful for them. But when I really sat with them and went past the excitement of the possible windfall, I realized they didn't give me energy. And let me tell you what's hard. Turning down great financial opportunities that you know are not aligned with you. So therefore they're not going to give you energy, they're going to drain you energy. And I passed on them because although they were great opportunities, they weren't great for me because I was going to have to trudge through them. They weren't great for me because they weren't going to fill me up with energy. And it's those decisions where you're not making it for the surface, but you're making the decision because you know it's going to fill you up and not being distracted by the shiny. It's that first step that you have to run everything through totally.

What's number two?

The second step is, are we okay with the worst case scenario? Are we okay with the worst case scenario? So my example here is, let's use financial. Let's say we're starting a business. Are we okay if we lose, you know, a couple million dollars starting this business? Not is it going to feel good? Not is it going to be happy? Not is it going to be, you know, will I avoid being sad or hurt or anything? No. Are we okay with the outcome of the worst case scenario? Yeah.

Do you have. For me, it's going down that road in so many ways saying, do I have the skill set and the mental capacity and mental strength to be able to deal with that worst case scenario of. Let's just use your example of losing one or two million dollars. Could we come back from that? And in the past, that would have felt devastating. And my answer would have been no. But now, at this point in our life, with so much experience and by the way, that number is just where we are at right now.

For you, it might be $10,000. Am I okay losing 20,000 bucks?

10,000 bucks, exactly. And so you have to say, do I fully believe, do I have the beliefs instilled in place where I believe that I am the source of abundance and that I could come up with another idea and that I could come back from this and that I have the support system that could help me cope and manage through this? And if the answer is no, then you're going to need to focus on those things that I just said. You're going to need to focus on the mental strength. You're going to need to focus on creating that support system in your life. You're going to need to really do.

The work, maybe with coaches and with.

Meditation and different books, of knowing that you are the source of creating the things in your life, not externally.

Remember, it's not just about finances and business. This number two, am I okay with the worst case scenario? It applies to everything. So let's say you're deciding whether or not to stay in or out of a relationship. Are you okay with the worst case scenario? If you decide, nope, I'm moving on. And pretend your worst case scenario is, great, now I'm starting over and oh, great, now I lost a circle of friends and great, now I'm moving to this other town. And like, are you okay with that? Cause if you are, then go through the decision, right? Or let's say you're, you're looking to move. And let's say, oh, I'm so afraid to move. I've got family here, I've got friends here, I got roots here, but I just, it doesn't feel aligned with me. Are you okay with picking up, moving, upsetting those people, realizing that, oops, that wasn't the move for me, and then having to start over, moving back. If you're okay with that worst case scenario and eating a little bit of crow, then by all means move forward with the decision. So number one was, will it give you energy? Number two is, are you okay with the worst case scenario? Can you handle it? If so, move forward.

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Number three. Number three is then. Do you have the support system to help you through the decision? Now, this one's tricky because it might play tricks on you. It's not, do you know the exact people and resources that are gonna be there for you right now? It's not, do you know the exact how? It's. Do you know that you have the support system? You have to find out the who. You're gonna have to find out the how. You're gonna have to find out the resources. But do you know that they're there? Do you know that you can find them? Because if you know that you have the support system to support this big decision, then you need to move forward with it and go tap into that support system.

Yeah, this was huge for me. I'm gonna talk about this. With creating Light Pink, I. I didn't yet have people in the alcohol industry that I knew at all. I didn't yet know how to raise money, and I didn't. I knew that they were in my circle or that you knew them. You know, I didn't yet have any info on formulating or anything like that, but I knew that I could create it. I knew that I could email different people that were kind of in my circle, so they maybe one or two people removed. And I also knew that I had the ability.

This is.

This is the most important. You have to know that it doesn't matter who you are, you have the ability to ask. So no matter what, it is honing in on the skill of asking questions. I've been talking about making asking questions your superpower. Because if you can learn how to ask questions, you can create the support system that you need to move forward on literally anything that you want to do.

And I'm going to add a number four in there real quick. Number four is play the movie to the end. And I literally think that phrase came from, like, Alcoholics Anonymous or something, by the way, which I was not in. And it's totally okay. Obviously, if somebody is great, if you are. But I think that's where it came from. Somebody once shared that concept with me, and they say, play the movie to the end. And if you think about the three steps we gave you prior to this, number one, does it give you energy? You have to play that decision all the way to the end. All the what ifs to see. Will it give me energy all the way through. If you look at number two, am I okay with the worst case scenario. You have to play that movie to the end to see are you okay with everything that could collapse, collapsing, Will you still come back from that? Are you still comfortable taking that on? And number three, do you have the support system? Again, you got to play the movie all the way to the end to say, okay, if I had to ask, what would I ask for? Who would I ask? Who are some potential people I could help and play that movie to the end to see do I have the support system out there? You don't know if they're yeses or nos yet. But is the system in place? Loosely, that's the criteria. We run every single big decision through. And you know, we spend all of our time in life and I say we, all of us, we spend all of our time trying so hard to protect what we already have. And I think that's making small decisions. I think making the big decisions is going for what you really want. And so I hope that this framework kind of, you know, kind of empowers people to go for what you really want. Hey, I want to add a shameless plug real quick here. I'm going to keep it 10 seconds or less. But we're about to launch our very last round of FAST foundations. And that's for any business builders with a business making less than $500,000 a year and we've slashed the investment in half and if you put yourself on our VIP early access list, it's less than half of what it used to be. It's literally a better program now. We've made massive improvements to it, but at the same time, we're actually decided to make this last one the most affordable one for everybody. So because that's going to sell it really quickly and because it's going to sell it really quickly, I want to make sure that if you want a spot, if you're serious about getting a spot in getting mentorship from Lori and I, then here's what you gotta do. Text us the word fast. Text us the word fast. To 310-421-0416. This is the last round. It's even better than what it is before. You get one on one business coaches, you get live Q and A business calls with us. You get hundreds of hours of content from every speaker and teacher, including what we've taught from all the sessions past fast. It's the most life changing program out there for business builders for the best value ever now. So if you want to be on the early access VIP list, we're launching in a couple weeks, so text the word fast to us at 310-421-0416. Whether you do, whether you don't, in the meantime, know this. We are so freaking grateful for each and every one of you that tune in and listen to us and sometimes try out our advice.

We'll see you next week, guys. Bye. Bye.

Thank you.