791. How to Shift Your Identity to Get to the Next Level

I am. And we are shutting down every single current income source that we have right now, other than the podcasts and the elite mastermind. And that means we're walking away from multiple seven figures of income voluntarily next year because we want to take those steps back so that we can make that leap into even bigger, more exciting things. Foreign.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of Light Pink, best selling author, three time fitness world champion, and I'm a crazy, multi passionate entrepreneur. My journey has taken me everywhere, from being a broke waitress, barista, retails associate and personal trainer with massive anxiety and no belief in myself, to later becoming a multi millionaire in love with my life. In 2007, my husband and I lost everything. We found ourselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt at rock bottom. We had no ideas and I had no education to fall back on. This is when I found personal development and learned everything I could about business. Not by choice, but because I realized no one was coming to save me. The conversations on this podcast are going to let you know that you're not alone and, and that we all feel like we don't know what we're doing. We're gonna give you the tools to help you face your fears, take action, start your business, and grow those massive dreams that are keeping you up at night. It's time to create a life that you can't hide from and put so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. You're gonna stop waiting for someone to approve of you, and you're going to anoint yourself. Because I'm obsessed about building businesses that give women a platform I want to you. So if you text the word podcast to 310-496-8363, you can get your questions answered on our Q and A segment along with a shout out. And if you rate, review and subscribe to this podcast, we're choosing someone every month to get coached and featured on our show. It just might be you. So let's get started.

And we're back with another episode of she said she said.

Whoa, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, whoa whoa. She said she said.

Yeah, we renamed it last week and.

I didn't get the memo.

No.

Who do I blame for this horrible new name?

This is about your listening skills. Clearly I've seen what I say.

Clearly I have good ones because I, I picked up on this new subtle title of yours, she said she said.

Everything that I say, you just need to nod your head to.

What's that saying that I always heard growing up, what's mine is hers and what's hers is hers.

Yeah, I love that saying.

I kind of like it. I kind of like it because it's kind of true of this.

Just kidding. Okay. This would be, this would not be a fun one way conversation. So today we are talking about identity shifts. And not just like identity shifts, you know, throughout your life that maybe you've taken, but what comes along with these identity shifts as you shift into the person that you know you came here to be. And we see this all the time because we do it and we see it in groups that, that we teach. We see it in all of our masterminds. We see it in your elite mastermind a lot. Because a lot of times when people are taking big leaps, and I love what Kim Perel says, she says sometimes your next step is not a step. That's why you're stuck. It's a jump. So what happen happens when you shout.

Out to Kim Perel, I freaking love her.

It's like one of my favorite quotes right now. Because a lot of times we're trying to find these next steps. And the reason that we're going slow or that it's not feeling right is because your next step needs to be a giant leap and a giant leap of faith as well. And that comes along with a crazy identity shift.

I don't want to intervene here, but I just realized something really big that has everything to do with what we're saying. So Kim's quote is, sometimes your next step isn't a step, it's a jump. Right. And that's based off her new book, Jump. And I just realized I want you to picture stepping and then I want you to picture taking a great big leap. What do you have to do when you take a big leap? Typically, you got to step back a couple steps and get a running start to make that leap. You're not going to make it, right?

Oh, it's so good.

Right? And I just realized it has everything to do with when you're transcending to the next level, which is what this episode's all about. When you're having that identity shift into a bigger, stronger, next level identity. It's not a step and it's not one of these jumps where you're starting in place. I think where people sometimes go wrong is they're afraid to take those few steps back in order to make it a running leap.

Yeah, I love this because the example that I can think of is even when I was starting light Pink, you have an identity right now that you don't realize you are keeping up every day. Your identity is your way of getting love and attention from everyone in your circle and maybe the people that follow and love and attention is survival. So that's what we forget. It's not just about, you know, when we see someone on Instagram who really needs attention, it's not just about them wanting attention. It's like their brain has it wired in that if they don't get this, it's like they are getting kicked out of the the tribe for survival. And to them it's like air, you know, to us, I don't want to say them, I want to say to us it is like air. So you have an identity right now that is so attached to you that we're not even aware of. Your identity could be, you know, mother, partner, career, person, could be business, you know, person, whatever that is. For me, it was identity around. You know, I did the Bliss project. I was a speaker, I was an author, I'm a podcaster, I'm someone out in the world who is creating community. And when I went to go raise money for light Pink and when I'm, you know, launching light Pink, it is a very non external job. People are not seeing all the work that I'm doing behind the scenes. And because it's very different, right? Like my other what, what I was doing was everything was outward. Every post, every conversation, every, you know, speaking gig, all of these things were like, be at something, Go, go be outward, Go be external. Which was giving me a lot of external validation. And now that I have this job that's like not job, but yes job, where it's very, you know, I'm on the inside, I'm having a lot of these conversations that I can't put out into the world. I'm doing a lot of things that are not out in the social media eye and they're not public facing things unless I really work on that at the same time. But a lot of times with time when you're building, certain things are not gonna be so public facing. So with that said, I was finding that I wasn't getting all of that external validation and I wasn't feeling relevant. And so my brain, my subconscious brain wants to say, just go get a quick hit. Just go and get that fitness cover that you know, that you can get. Just go get, you know, go get that speaking gig that you know that you can go and get right now. Just go and work on this. But all of those Things take so much time away from the big vision of where I know I'm meant to go. They take time away from the leap. So instead of me backing up for a bit to gain all of this momentum for this giant jump that I'm taking right now, I'm literally just kind of like, yeah, but there's a next step that I can do right here and maybe I won't fully back up because I don't know who I am and my identity is clinging to wanting to be forward facing more often.

It's interesting because I fell into this trap yesterday and told you about this on our walk this morning. I don't know why I started one. I just love numbers, right? But I started roughly budgeting out what our income sources were going to be for 2022. And for context, for those of you listening that don't know yet, I am. And we are shutting down every single current income source that we have right now, other than the podcasts and the elite mastermind. And that means we're walking away from multiple seven figures of income voluntarily next year because we want to take those steps back so that we can make that leap into even bigger, more exciting things. And so I found myself falling into the trap yesterday when I was scheduling out what income sources do we have coming in for the next year, because we have a lot of random ones, right? A lot of residual ones, a lot of sponsorship ones, you name it. And I found myself falling into the trap of, wait. I could do just one strategy session per month. And over the course of 12 months, those 12 strategy sessions would bring in this much. And I put down that line item and I said, wait, I could take on just one, one, one on one client that I love, and that would be an easy extra 200 grand for the year and it'd be aligned. So I put the. And before I knew it, I was adding in all of these distractions to backfill a bunch of income that we are voluntarily walking away from. That would totally negate the space that we're trying to clear for me to go start this new company that I'm starting. So listen, one, I know that sounded like a very long set of tracks I just took you on, but there's a point here. The point is we're going to fall into the trap of our old identities. My old identity was teach, create and earn income for doing that. And there was safety in all these different income sources and there was safety in all these different programs, but it's unneeded safety. It was just my identity. It was just my habits that were making me go back and add in this line item and add in that line item. So it was a great awareness because I caught myself. I said no, stop inching yourself back into being busy doing things that don't accomplish the new main mission.

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Yeah, I think that is, you know, so the question that I am putting in my head all of the time is does this really align with what we actually want? Because it's so easy to be on our walks and want to see these shiny opportunities. You and I love ideas, micro distractions.

They add up into a really good.

Things and there is a part of us that wants to do them like they sound exciting. It sounds so much fun to put different things together and work with people.

You know what I just realized, Lori, not to cut you off. That is the challenge. A lot of people aren't choosing between good decision, bad decision. They are exciting. People are choosing between 50 all good decisions. And because they're all good decisions, it's really hard to say no to any of them that don't support tomorrow's mission.

Yeah. And I think that you can look at, you can say things like, you know, maybe there are things that you feel are missing. So if there's things in your life that you're like, yeah, but now I feel like this big gap of maybe being social or being able to be with my audience or being able to be out with, you know, customers and doing those things that I really enjoy.

So is there a way that you.

Can do that, that it aligns with the new mission? And I think that's a good question to ask too. And if not, if you're forcing it then and it's distracting you, then I would say no. And Warren Buffett says, you know, he says no to almost everything, that that's how he is successful is because he has said no to almost everything. I mean, almost everything. That's probably almost everything.

All of my highest performing friends, I noticed that same trait them by the way and it's, that's Just transcension, right? That's maturing into the person that is going to be able to accomplish the next bigger thing compared to the already great things that you've accomplished. And that is building that no muscle, but really to keep us on track. The main point that I truly want everyone to grasp is, you know, let us demonstrate it for you if you need strength. Let us demonstrate it for you if you need proof. But Lori did it last year when she came to me and said, chris, actually, two years ago now, my God, time slow. When she said, chris, I need a year off to figure out what I'm going to do. And it was scary, right, because we were walking away at that time from multiple seven figures of self development and fitness income. And yet it worked out great. And now this year, I'm saying, lori, this is this new company I need to build and I can't be doing anything else, you know, other than Elite Mastermind and the podcast when I'm doing this company and you are granting me the same exciting space that I was able to grant to you. And so I hope, I just want.

To say what that looks like. It looks like me truly getting right with knowing, like, yes, we're walking away from things and saying, okay, what do we need to do to make it work? Like, what does this budget look like? What do we need to do? Like, where are we at? So getting really clear on those things.

Yeah, absolutely. And so let us be the proof, let us be the example if you need it. Otherwise, you know, go ahead and take your leap alongside of us. We will show you what it's like to take those couple of steps back and get a running start so you can leap into your next far bigger adventure.

All right, we're so grateful for you guys. And Chris, what do you have coming up?

Well, I mean, all we have at this point coming up when it comes to being able to work with everybody is the Elite Mastermind now. And the Elite Mastermind is for anyone who is earning over $500,000 in their business in 2022. And it's great because literally. Okay, let me do my percentages real quick here. 70, 65% of last year's members renewed for 2020. And it's a real small group. We keep it intimate, so it means there's not very many spots left. But if you want to take your leaps alongside of Lori and I and alongside of other entrepreneurs that are performing at a very high, high level, and if you're going to exceed $500,000, for context, almost everybody in that room is multiple seven figures in 2022. Then go ahead and text me and we'll have a discussion to see if you're a good fit for the 2022 family of elite Mastermind members. And so text me at 310-421-0416. Just text me the word elite and that's how I'll know to get the conversation started with you. So, again, just text me the word elite to 310-421-0416, and that's how I'll know to get that conversation started with you. Otherwise, you can go check it out at Chrisharder Me. Oh, no. Mastermind. Oops. Chrisharder Me. Mastermind. Either one of those texting me at 310-421-0416, text me the word elite or just checking us out at Chrisharder Me Mastermind. We'll get you pointed in that right direction to see if it's gonna be a good fit for us to invite you into the Elite Mastermind family this year.

All right, Chris has to get on a flight to go to California to network with a bunch of people that you've lined up for your new identity and your new business, which is exciting. I know it's not easy. No, I know that you have re like, just packed in your schedule. Also, you don't want to leave home right now. You just got home, but you're making it happen, and I'm so proud of you. So, so grateful. New levels. All right, you guys, until next time. We'll see you next week.

Sam.