795: HELP: The Most Important Thing to Ask for and Why

It's irresponsible to our partners in life to not give them the best of us. It's irresponsible to our children to not be somewhat available for them in a way that we're excited about. It's irresponsible to our friends to not show up in a way that, you know, really adds to the friendship. Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of Light Pink, best selling author, author, three time fitness world champion, and I'm a crazy, multi passionate entrepreneur. My journey has taken me everywhere from being a broke waitress, barista, retails associate and personal trainer with massive anxiety and no belief in myself to later becoming a multimillionaire in love with my life. In 2007, my husband and I lost everything. We found ourselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. At rock bottom. We had no ideas and I had no education to fall back on. This is when I found personal development and learned everything I could about business. Not by choice, but because I realized no one was coming to save me. The conversations on this podcast are going to let you know that you're not alone and that we all feel like we don't know what we're doing. We're going to give you the tools to help you face your fears, take action, start your business, and grow those massive dreams that keeping you up at night. It's time to create a life that you can't hide from and put so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. You're going to stop waiting for someone to approve of you and you're going to anoint yourself. Because I'm obsessed about building businesses that give women a platform, I want to feature you. So if you text the word podcast to 310-496-8363, you can get your questions answered on our Q and A segment along with a shout out. And if you rate, review and subscribe to this podcast, we're choosing someone every month to get coached and featured on our show. It just might be you. So let's get started. Hey everyone, welcome back to the show. It's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in. Inspiration and let me tell you, my life. Life has been a whirlwind, much like I'm sure yours is. We are in a lot of crazy places right now as far as life decisions and what's next? Deals on the home, deals that have fallen through on the home. Where are we gonna live? I don't know. While running a lot of other businesses. And if I'm learning anything, it is to ask for help and to compartmentalize my emotions and to lean so far into faith, lean so far into prayer. And these are the tools that when people ask me how I do it, that is how I do it. I ask for help. And I truly view these as the opportunities to grow my faith. And today, we are talking all about asking for help, because if you can't ask for help, you can't help other people. Now, somewhere along the road growing up, I believed that if you did it all yourself, you deserved a ribbon, you deserved a trophy, you deserved accolades. You must have been some sort of wonder woman, right? When we see these moms or these women who are doing it all, we're like, oh, my God, she's like superwoman. She's doing it all. And we say these amazing things about them. Like, she does everything right. She takes care of the house, her kids, the food, everything. Except on the inside, we're complimenting these things that are actually completely making this person on the verge of a nervous breakdown. And I can vouch for this because this was me. I was like, I gotta have perfect vacuum lines in my house. I gotta do the grocery shopping. I gotta make my dog food. I gotta run these businesses. I gotta take care of my family. I gotta do whatever it is. I gotta run all of the errands. I'm gonna run my business on my own. I'm gonna do this without an assistant. I'm gonna do this without extra people. I'm not gonna ask for help. I'm gonn or attempt to do all of these different tech things that I have no idea about. I can tell you that it was the most miserable, most low, most depressed and most anxiety and panic attacks I have ever had in my life, because you are not meant to do it alone. And somehow with that story, when I really break it down to, you know, I wanted people, I wanted to do it all on my own. I wanted to be perceived as strong. When I really break down my personal story, my personal feeling, my personal rendition and translation of wanting to be a wonder woman and superwoman and a do it all woman, it's truly because it was selfish. I wanted to look like I had my life under control. I wanted people to think great things about me. I wanted people to be amazed and in awe about how much I could be doing. And at the end of the day, it is selfish to do it all yourself, because we are meant to do it together. We are actually meant to go out and live in such a large purpose and expand our visions. And if you are someone who has been blessed with a vision, it is your job to expand it and to multiply and invite people in to that vision. Because your vision was not just meant to be hoarded by you. Your vision was meant to include other people. Your vision was meant to bless other people. Your vision was meant to expand so that it can become other people's purpose that is life changing. Your vision was meant to expand so that other people can show up in their purpose. Your role in all of this just so happens to be the visionary, not the doer of all, but the invite of all into the vision. Right? You are going to be the best cruise ship director and ask and tell people what it is that needs to be done in order to do this. It is selfish. It is not a badge of honor to want all of the credit for all of the things. The more that I see women tell me that they have help, the more that I hear women tell me that they have a co founder, a CEO, all of these incredible people behind them. The more I give them credit, the more that I can say, wow, they can really share the vision. They have full responsibility over that vision. They truly care about their vision because they are not willing to burn out over wanting to look good or take all of the credit. So I want to demystify this idea of doing it all yourself is a good thing. It's actually an irresponsible thing. It's irresponsible to our partners in life to not give them the best of us. It's irresponsible to our children to not be somewhat available for them in a way that we're excited about. It's irresponsible to our friends to not show up in a way that, you know, really adds to the friendship. And no, I do not have children yet, but this is my future plans of how I want to show up. And also, is it possible, is it possible to start casting this vision for yourself that even if right now you can't pull yourself out of the everything role? Maybe you're like, God, Laurie, you're such an asshole. I can't do this right now. Is there a possibility of you painting the vision for yourself that you can invite other people in? How could you expand the vision to invite other people in and have them want to be a part of it? How could you trade some of your services maybe for a little extra time so that you could get that time? What does this look like to start delegating hiring Trading in order to not be doing this all your self.

Let's.

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And how this works is it's a little bit in reverse to what we think. Sometimes we say, I can't afford it. I don't have the money to hire or to get that babysitter or to hire that person who can do our website. But what happens is sometimes when we stretch ourselves or what I've found personally is when I have committed to something, when I have committed to hiring someone, when I have stretched myself, it has made me show up bigger and it's made me make more money in turn. Having that new person, that new energy. That's a huge key word right there. Getting that new energy and new life and this new expectation into your business to help you show up even more and make more money. If you are feeling stagnant, it is because your energy wants to interact with other people. Your energy is craving interaction with other people. Right where there. If you, if you like scripture at all, where there are two, two or more, there I am. It's really about all of a sudden when you are interacting with another person and then three people, it's like all of a sudden you're going to notice this access to this energy that you can't access on your own. These ideas that may have seemingly been stuck inside your brain are going to be able to be accessed with a little bit of prodding from other people with the right questions, with this spiraling up of energy that happens when you're in the rooms with the right people. It's contagious. It's a cracking open, it's an unlocking. So I just want to go back to if you can't ask for help, you can't help other people. The only way I am getting the vision of light pink done is asking for so much help, is for hiring, is for delegating on my team, is for allowing my team members to take full control over their things that they are good at and full ownership. And it has been the most magical thing to watch what comes out of people after they are invited to the. Invited into the vision. And I let them take the wheel because I trust them. I trust that my ideas are not the best ideas. And when you get the right people and notice I'm saying the right people, when you get the right people in and letting them take ownership, whether that is the person that is going to help you take care of your home, whether that's the person that's going to help you take care of your children, whether that's the person that's going to help you with your workload, whether that's the person that's going to help you, whatever it is, when you trust and let them take ownership of their position and their job, you have now invited someone in into their purpose, into something that they can be proud of, and into something that you have now created and rippled out into the world that you can be so much more proud of than doing the solo mission of not asking for help when you need it. There is no badge of honor. No one's going to come and save you and peel you off the bathroom floor when you have your 10th breakdown because you can't do it all and you can't figure out how these other people are doing it all. They're either having the same breakdown at the same time on the same, maybe not the same bathroom floor, but hey, that would feel better. Same time, same breakdown, right? Or they have help. They're not showing you everything. The more that I break into this business world of products of bigger companies than I'm used to working with, I see all of the different sectors of help, I see all of the different teams of help. I see all of the different ideas that get put on the table that things get run through. I see how there are different sectors for every single different piece of the business. And yeah, that can't happen right away. But I need you to know that asking for those first pieces of help is how you grow, right? And you say, where do I need help? What do I need first? What is the first needle, moving person or position that would free me up of more time or create even more income? What would create the most income? If that's the first thing you need is income, what's the first position that would help you create more income? If you need more time, what's the first position that would help you create more time? Or maybe it's both. What's the first person you could hire that would make you help that would help you create more income and more time? And I hope that this frees you up to know that no matter where you're at in your business or your life or your relationships, you cannot help other people unless you can ask for help. And you are not going to get past this place that you feel stuck if you don't start learning to ask for help. And I'm telling you, it's my number one super power right now. And I could even do even more of it. I could get even better at this. So I'm sending you guys so much love today. I'm going to do a big ask for help right now and that is to go to lightpink.com if I've ever added value into your life. Go to lightpink.com and just put your email in so that I can communicate with you there. That's where we're going to be doing all of the most epic, most fun things all through this company. Connecting women, sharing product. I can't wait to celebrate with you. Whether it's the non alcoholic rose or it is the wine spritz that we have coming out, the sparkling rose wine spritz, I literally cannot wait. So please go enter your email right now. Pretty please. I know you're gonna forget, so just go to lightpink.com l I t e P-I-N k.com right now if I've ever added value to your life and it would mean the world to me to just be able to communicate with you through there. Sending you so much love. Until next time, earn your happy.