8 Books That Will Change Your Life
25 Jun 2024 · 21 min
Lori and Chris Harder discuss eight books that shaped their thinking, including The Comfort Crisis with its concept of "misogi" (challenging rituals), The War of Art on resistance, and the Elon Musk biography. They share how reading rewires your mindset and describe applying lessons like rucking and prioritizing family time.
Chapters
The closer we get to the thing like the X that marks the spot of where our fulfillment actually is or what we should be doing with our life and our purpose, we tend to run into all of this resistance, procrastination, gambling, eating every single thing when we get closer to that thing that we know we should be doing.
And we're back with another episode of.
He Said, she Said.
All right, babe. You know I've been starting these by prompting. Prompting you with a glossy tip, because glossy is crushing it. I also don't want to share the exciting news coming up. Don't worry. I'm not going to. I see you looking at me, but you have, like, a big revenue milestone coming up that I'm not going to share, but I'm just so damn proud of you. But it's just proof. That revenue milestone is proof of how good this is working because your retention rate, your reorders are so freaking high. I can't believe it. They are mathematically unlikely, let's put it that way. So obviously it's working. Give us a glossy tip. Why is it working?
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I don't know. Why not? Okay, so, guys, we have a huge, awesome, massive discount only for you guys, our podcast listeners. How much off? 20%.
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I'm obsessed with books.
We're obsessed with lame. And what made us think of it is, you know, we're up at the lake house here. We haven't even been here a week yet, and it took us five days to drive up. And we listen to books, books and podcasts, but we listen to books every time that we go on these road trips. And we just. We'll hit pause, we'll discuss them. We change things in our life. Like, everything centered around consuming books on a regular basis is such an important part of our success. And it really boils down to. It's one of the main ingredients for us to have large intakes of what I call positive propaganda, because from the time you wake up to the time you go to bed, you're being hammered with negative propaganda. Right? Bad news, people with bad mindsets around you, negative mindsets, scarcity mindsets, or just even comparison.
Like, even if you're looking at some.
Positive things, sometimes junk on social media.
It'S so easy to just, like, compare yourself to everything. And that's actually exhausting for your brain. Because as you're looking at social media media, what you're doing is you're literally asking yourself, like, where do I fall in accordance to this picture or this person or what they're doing?
Yeah.
And so everything is a decision. Everything. Like, are they better than me? Am I better than them? Like, you don't even realize you're doing it.
That.
But that is actually what humans are doing. And you're exhausted by the time you're off. So books are, like, a great way to learn to not have all of this, like, negative output for yourself. Even if you think it's, you know, not doing anything, it's not a draining thing. It's actually A really recharging thing.
It really is. So we thought we'd share a couple of our favorites that have like radically changed our life every time that we've done them. Babe, why don't you go first? What's one of yours?
Okay, so this isn't necessarily like my favorite, but these are books that have impacted my life that I think it should be like required reading.
I think that's important to point out. My favorites are not the ones that have necessarily shifted my life the most. Some of them are, but they're the ones that have been caused integral shifts for us.
Yes. Okay, so this one is the Comfort Cris by Michael Easter. And we read this together three years.
Ago now on a road trip driving up here.
Well, while we were up here. And we would play it on our walks around the loop. We call it the loop up here at the lake house. Cause it's like once you're on the loop, you can't get off. And it's like four and a half miles, so there's just farmland in between that you can't cross. So we would play it on this loop and listen to it. And I'm just going to give you some Cliff notes of it. So the idea of the comfort crisis is that we are meant to do challenging, difficult things frequently. And if we don't, as human, human beings, it's actually to our detriment. So in the book, they have something that is called masagi. I think it's misogi or misogi. It's either masagi or misogi, but the word mi. I'm just going to read this right off here. Comes from a Japanese Shinto practice of ritual purification. In the ritual, the participants wash their bodies in sacred waterfalls, lakes and rivers. More recently, the word misogi means difficult challenges in nature. The aim is to clean off the contamination caused by modern conveniences. Now, to do a musogi, there are two rules, and this is what the book describes. And it is rule one, make it really hard. And rule two, don't die. So essentially in the book Michael Easter, actually the author chooses a masogi himself. And he goes on a 30 day elk hunting trip to Alaska.
Now, middle of nowhere.
Trust me, if you were telling me about this book before I read it and you're like, lori, go read this. 30 day not interesting. I would have been like, absolutely not. I am so glad Jackie Koch, my brother in law's girlfriend, talked me into this book because it is now one of my favorites. I've read it Twice. I want to try to read it every single year to remind myself how important it is to do challenging things. So the whole book intertwines story with scientific facts around why human beings actually actually have to do hard things for our health, our well being and our mental health. So it's one of those books that like you start reading it and you immediately are gonna set a goal after or you're gonna go buy a rucksack, which literally we did because he talks about rucking and if you don't know what a rucksack is, it's like a weighted backpack. And he talks all about like creating these little mini masogis in his life. And the reason for that is that if you go and challenge yourself and you do these hard things, when back to normal life, everything seems easier. Your brain has worked out so many of the excuses that you want to make or so many of like these negotiating with yourself because you are doing this thing in real life that you're going to go and translate to everything, whether it's business or relationships. And the book really, really, really goes into why that is.
Yeah, I love that the book has changed my life too because when we started doing tougher things again intentionally then the rest of our life, seemingly feeling a lot easier. And the truth is we get soft. I'm sure most of you listening have gotten soft. The world has gotten soft. And we're not meant to be that way. We're meant to do hard things to make the normal everyday things not feel so damn hard. And that's the irony in it all. Okay, so if you were going to ask me, hey, what's one of yours, Chris? I would say any autobiographies or biographies of awesome entrepreneurs, I mean, I'm hooked. My favorite way to learn is not like here's the seven steps to this or here's the five rules of that. There's value in that. Don't get me wrong, but I learn through reading the stories of the ups and downs and the types of decisions that some of the most famous entrepreneurs in the world have had to make. So from the Steve Jobs book to the one with Arnold Schwarzenegger, to the two different Elon Musk books, to Richard Branson's Losing My Virginity, I recommend every single one of those and more. Now if I had to choose one for me in particular, it's Elon Musk's original biography called Musk and here's why. In there you realize the significant risks that this man took after he was already successful. Not just on his way to being successful. And it makes you. It frames for you what it means to go all in. For example, he was one of the original creators of PayPal, and when they had their exit, he had over $300 million. And he could have just hung it up right there and been like, all right, yay, I've got a very wealthy life. But then he went on to start Tesla and SpaceX at the same time. And he burnt through that $300 million to the point where he was asking friends if he could stay on their couches and begging friends for money to make payroll at those companies on a Sunday night or they were going to go bankrupt on Monday.
Oh, my God.
So how many of you, you think, oh, I'm taking some risk right now. Ooh, I'm really going for it. No, you're not. Like, this is why I love these books. It really frames what going for it looks like. Now, I'm not saying you have to go to these extremes, but it sure as hell puts into perspective that you may not be entertaining and playing in enough risk. Right? You're afraid to make that investment. You're afraid to make that higher. You're afraid to go to that mastermind. You're afraid to host your own event. You're afraid to put the money down on whatever type of investment is you're considering. And then you hear about a man whose life is totally set up and had $300 million and got to the point where he was so passionate about starting these other two companies that he was sleeping on his friend's couches and had literally not a penny, not a penny to his name because it was all taken and then some. And you just combine that with. When they describe his work week and the fact that he didn't take a single vacation for 12 years. Again, I'm not advocating that. What I'm saying is all of these perspectives, put your hustle, put your business journey into a real perspective of, it's not that bad, and there's more you could be doing, and your goal may not to be the world's richest man. It's not my goal. But if you are a tenth of a tenth of a tenth of a tenth of a tenth of a tenth of a tenth as successful, that means all you have to do is take, you know, a tenth of a tenth of a tenth of a tenth of a tenth of the risk that he took to get to that level, and you realize, holy crap, I can do that. So that's why I love those biographies, especially that one. What's one more for you?
Okay, so one of my other favorite books is Steven Pressfield's the War of Art. Do not get the Art of War. That's a very different book.
I like that one, by the way.
The War of Art. And this is all about resistance. So the idea of the book is, a quote from the book is most of us have two lives. The life we live and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands resistance. And one of my other favorite quotes from the book that really summarizes it well is rule of thumb. The more important a call or action is to our soul's evolution, the more resistance we will feel towards pursuing it. So he talks all about how the closer we get to the thing like the X that marks the spot of where our fulfillment actually is or what we should be doing with our life and our purpose, we tend to run into all of this resistance. And he goes on in the book to explain what resistance is. I mean, from. He goes in depth of like procrastination, gambling, eating, sex, like every single thing and how we're using it. When we get closer to that thing that we know we should be doing, like, oh, should have a hard conversation, screw it, maybe I'll go out to the bars. Like, it's, it's the, it's the mindset right before and during. And he really helps you, like dig in and understand those moments that it's not just you avoiding it, it's because you're getting close. And I think that when we reframe it like that, I'm like, oh my God, I'm right here. When the resistance is as big as it can possibly feel, that means that I truly am on the verge of a breakthrough. But the way that he frames it, you really start to understand how and why. Like with our brain chemistry. 2026 is the year that you launch your business. It's the year that you've become the boss, you become the leader. That idea that you have that has been eating at you forever, that just will not leave you alone is going to come to life. Maybe it's something that someone tells you you should always sell or a store you've already designed in. And with Shopify, 2026 is when you finally make it happen. Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made this leap from household name to first time business owners. Just getting started, you guys. I use Shopify for glossy and I remember when they sent me my little shopping bag celebrating my 10,000 sales and I literally cried because I was so scared to take the leap. And I'm so glad that I did and that I Use Shopify. It gives you all the tool to easily build your dream store. You can choose from hundreds of beautiful templates that you can customize to match. Your brand setup is fast with Shopify's built in AI tools that write product descriptions and headlines and help you edit photos. So marketing is built in too. You can create email and social campaigns that reach customers wherever they scroll. So as you grow, Shopify grows with you. You can handle more orders, expand to new markets, and do it all from the same dashboard in 2026. Stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com happy go to shopify.com happy that's shopify.com happy. Hear your first cha ching this new year with Shopify by your side. Too many people finish their workday feeling frustrated, drained and unfulfilled. I know that. I have experienced that myself. And the good news is, it doesn't have to be this way. And you don't need a new job to fix it. Patrick Lencioni, author of the Five Dysfunctions of a Team and more than a dozen other bestsellers, created the working genius assessment to help you pinpoint the kind of work that gives you energy, the kind that lights you up, and it also shares the kind that drains it. So over a million people, including me, have taken it and completely changed how I lead and show up every day. If you're a CEO, an entrepreneur, or someone who just wants to level up in business and in life, Working genius is going to give you the clarity and confidence to operate in your strengths and find greater joy in what you do. Because confidence isn't pretending to be good at everything. It's knowing where you're truly gifted. Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code earn@workinggenius.com that's working genius dot com. You'll be glad you did it.
I love that. The fact that you just described what most of us do as humans right before we're supposed to do a tough thing, what do we do? We quickly resort to the dopamine hit.
Oh my God, I'll even. You'll like pick up your phone. You'll be like, oh, I should do this. And you're like, okay, maybe I'll scroll five more minutes. Like what?
Yep.
What is that doing is delaying a.
Million times a day, you guys. And that's why you don't seem to get ahead, is we keep choosing the dopamine hit over right moments before you're about to finally go do that scary or tougher, annoying thing that, you know, you have to do to move the ball forward. So I love that. If I had to add one more to the list. I can't just add one more. There's so freaking many. I mean, God, I read 30 books in 30 days. So obviously I've got a lot of books. You know, that was years ago that I want to recommend, but I would say it's a tie between Conversations with God or Tuesdays with Maury. And I love those two books because they'll both give you perspective on how to live a great life. They're two very different books. Very different, Very different books. But, you know, Conversations with God really does a great job. Anyone who has either religious trauma or uncertainty, or they just think that religion doesn't make sense, it's a fantastic book to put all of that into perspective. And it really takes a lot of anxiety or worry, a lot of what you think. You know, this rule or that rule, it really puts a lot of it into perspective.
Or it just makes you think. Like, even some of it, you and I are, like, not sure, but it sure made us think and feel better.
Yep. So that one. But then I'd almost have to lean towards Tuesdays with Maury, which is a great true story about Mitch Elbaum, if you guys know who that is. You know, one of the most famous sportscasters out there. And newscaster, just incredibly famous, successful individual. And he went to college. He had a professor named Mitch. Professor Mitch. And the story kind of unfolds how he was really close to this professor. They swore they'd always stay in touch. And then multiple years go by, like, more than a decade goes by. And, you know, Mitch gets famous, Mitch gets rich, Mitch gets busy. And he never kept his promise to go back and visit Maury. Sorry, the professor is Maury. Mitch is obviously a sportscaster. And so then all of a sudden, he sees on the news that Maury is terminally ill. Literally on, like, they're doing a news story, and he's like, wait, that's my old professor. I promise to stay in touch with this guy. So he reaches out. Don't worry, I'm not giving you any spoiler alerts here yet. He reaches out, gets back in touch, and it starts this weekly dialogue between the two of them where he literally flies to visit him every week. And it's that dialogue that has so much value. All the questions he asks this old man about perspective and life and everything. And it's not only the individual dialogue on a weekly basis that adds so much value to you, the reader, as perspective about life. But the whole story drives home the point that you have to put your loved ones or those you care about first and build everything else around that. And if you don't, a decade's going to slip by. Two decades are going to slip by, and you're going to have a bunch of shoulda, coulda, wouldas. And I'll tell you what, this was the very first book I read when I read 30 books in 30 days. And I think that was somewhere in the ballpark of 2015. I'd have to go look it up. I'm bad with years. But it was the shake by the shoulders that I needed to make sure I was putting family first. And that's what started the family date days. That's what started, you know, making sure that we're buying lake homes and everything else. And then when my dad passed away in 2020, one of the amazing things I know that's a weird thing to say was I didn't have any shoulda, coulda, wouldas because thanks to this book and many other things, I made putting my loved ones and creating experiences with them first. And this book played a big role in that. It really reminds you a wonderful storytelling kind of way to do that. So I highly suggest Tuesdays with Maury. Oh, one more shout out to our buddy Mel Abraham and his new book. Guys, go get this one, too. Building your Money Machine. Seriously, just go to Amazon, type in Mel Abraham Building youg Money Machine. It's an awesome book when it comes to simplifying your finances. So if you struggle with finances, it's a great book to go get. All right, guys, well, listen, whether you grab the four or five books that we talked about or whether you go find some of your own, it's changed our life. And it's one of those simple, simple things that you can do a little bit every day that will radically change your life. And I was not a reader. I was not a reader until I read 30 books in 30 days. You guys, if you're like, oh, I'm not a reader. I don't think I could do this when I say I wasn't a reader. I had not finished a book cover to cover as an adult until I read 30 books in 30 days when I was in my mid-30s. That's messed up. But ever since then, my life has got exponentially better. And that's why we figured we'd do an episode about books. Also, one quick reminder, we have one room left. One spotlift. Whether you're an individual or whether you're a couple to come with us on our mastermind in Europe in Florence, Italy in October. Travel with Lori and I and our friends Robin, Kim, Murgatroy and some really awesome high performing other entrepreneurs. Literally only one room left. Those went really quick.
Think helicopter rides, wine drinking, networking, private.
Shutdown tours of the Duomo, like everything. Dinner with the Ferragamos, like yeah, the famous Ferragamo fashion brand. Those Ferragamos at family like just access the stuff you can't get on your own. Once in a lifetime experience. So if you want to grab that last spot, go to Chrisharder Me. That's Chrisharder Me. Chrisharder Me Italy. Grab that spot or just DM us and ask us questions. We'd love to answer your questions about it and then help you get that very last spot. Chrisharder Me Italy. Can't wait to see who the very last couple or the very last person is that we travel. Alright guys, thanks for listening. Love and appreciate you.
Bye everyone.
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