80: Learn the MOST EMPOWERING QUESTIONS You Can Ask Yourself with Amy Cannatta

Foreign.

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I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss.

Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

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Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast and today My guest is Dr. Amy Kanata and she is an international coach, an innovative life strategist, and a number one international best selling author for her book titled Perspective. She is also a fellow podcast host and she is a blogger for the Huffington Post. That is amazing. And we had such a great conversation today. I know that you're going to gain so much from learning about how she loves to teach people about changing their perspective and turning tragedy into personal transformation. So let's get started. Amy, thank you so much for coming on the show. I'm so grateful to have you today.

Lori, I am so grateful for the opportunity to be here. Thank you so much for having me. I really, really can't wait to dive into this topic today.

You have so much stuff that I want to talk to you about. But first, before we get started, for everyone who may not know who you are, could you share a little bit about yourself, what you do and how you got to this point?

Sure, I would love to. I'm a chiropractor by trade, so I've been in the health and wellness alternative health and wellness business for about 10 years and have recently shifted gears to focus more on me. Mentorship helping women in the health and wellness industry. High achieving women who want to start a business or are trying to really grow their business to the six or seven figure mark. High achievers, you know, really, really high achiever leader type people. Women who, you know, just want to build their businesses and live the life that they really desire. And my kind of aha moment. And I know we'll talk about this a little bit, but the first question I always get asked is why the heck did you transition out of your chiropractic business into this space? And really, it was really to create a ripple effect in the world and to become more like a transformational healing voice for the world when it comes to resilience and when it comes to building that muscle to kind of bounce back and be successful. And I couldn't do that in the single the four walls of my chiropractic practice. I couldn't have the international ripple effect, just kind of practicing one person at a time. And I realized that in order for me to really live out my mission on this planet, which is to be a transformational healing voice and person human being, I needed to take myself to a much larger stage, which is the virtual world. So that's kind of why and how I got to where I am now.

So what got you to even being a chiropractor? What did your life used to look like?

Well, this is a really funny story. My life used to look very much, very different. I grew up from a very small farm in Connecticut, Very humble beginnings. And I actually, right out of high school, I thought I wanted to be a physical therapist, but for one reason or another, just was afraid. I thought it was too competitive. Went into doing business and I dropped out of college after a year. So I have this like college dropout story a little bit.

That's great.

And so I dropped out of college. I was out of college for about, I have to think about it now, 10 plus years I was out of college and just trying to find my way in life. And in that time, I became a stepmom, became a mom. And When I was 29 years old, my grandmother, who was very much. She was a really huge part of my life, raised me and kind of taught me everything I know about how to treat people and what's really important in life. Like values, like core values, a lot of that which was learned growing up on the farm, ironically enough. But she passed away. And when that happened, I said, you know something, I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. And I just said, I gotta do something more with my life. I know I have a brain. I've always gotten. I got really good grades in high school and was always a high achiever, you know, doing all these things and, you know, prom queen, you know, this, that and the other. The typical classic kind of high achiever. And I knew that there was more, there's something more in me than just working like these odd job, minimum wage jobs. I mean, I worked retail, I worked for lawyers, I worked all these crazy jobs, waitressing, all that stuff, to kind of figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. And when she passed away, I just thought, ah, there's more to this. And you know what? She was a nurse and she was a big chiropractic advocate when chiropractic was not even like, acceptable. Like, they thought of us as like witch doctors, like way back when. So she kind of grew up in that era, but she was just a big advocate because they helped her be a better nurse. They helped her when she was on her feet for 12 and 14 hours a day. So she really believed in chiropractic. And I thought, I think I might want to try that. So I went to chiropractic school having never been adjusted. I just went on faith. Everything sort of lined up. All the pieces lined up for me to go and so was like, oh, if it lines up, it's meant to be. The universe wants me to pursue this. It's like the sign I need from God. Everything lining up, and so I'm just gonna go for it.

Love that. And no pun intended on alignment.

Yeah, exactly.

I actually have a chiropractic small story. Just when I was first I was training at an LA Fitness, just that when I very first said yes to being a personal trainer and I had trained a chiropractor. And this chiropractor woman was absolutely amazing. Basically, fresh out of school in a new practice, got brand new place, and she had a basement that she was like, hey, if you want to start your studio out of there, because I know that's your dream, you can. So anyway, I'm very. I like have such a great, amazing spot in my heart for chiropractics just because I had my first adjustments through that too, because we traded off. But anyhow, okay, so I'm like, chiropractors, I love you. You were like my start and you made me feel amazing. Okay, so I know that, well, today we're going to talk about resilience. And I know this is a big topic for you that you love to chat about. And I also know that you have an incredible story that probably has brought you to this place of loving to talk about resilience. So I know that you say that everyone can cultivate resilience and what have you seen? And I know that you work with a lot of people, so why do you believe that?

Well, I believe that because I really believe in human beings and I think we're resilient by nature. But what happens is, is when things, let's say, don't work out. What I have found is that we have this tendency, and I've done it myself, so I know the tendency. The tendency is to ask ourselves What I would say are not the best questions when things don't work out quite right. And I won't say they're the wrong questions, they're just not. They're not the questions that will lead you to a positive result, let's put it that way. So I believe human beings are resilient by nature. When you look at what people go through, I mean, we live in a first world country, we have our own sets of problems. But when you look at people that are in third world countries and things like that, they're resilient human beings. I mean, human beings are resilient by nature. And I think that it's something that everyone can learn how to do better. And I myself, I'm, I consider myself as much of a student of this as I am a teacher of it. I don't really ever, I don't ever consider myself of knowing it all. I mean, even Wayne Gretzky said he didn't know everything there was to know about hockey. And he was the greatest hockey player that ever lived. So I think that something, the minute you say you know it all is the minute you stop growing.

So what are some of the times in your life that you feel have made you the most resilient?

Well, there's one major moment in my life that I think I shared, I shared with you during an email. Which was the most resilient time in My life was May 21, 2002. I was one year into chiropractic school. I was taking my last final exam to finish up my first year and kind of get that first year under my belt. Take a deep breath like, woo hoo. I did it. I got one year done, you know, and I was sitting there taking my test and I started hearing police sirens, which wasn't too unusual because of where I went to school. Went to school in an inner city and didn't really think much of it until they started getting louder and louder. And I looked up from my test because it was so loud that now everyone's concentration was broken. And I kind of look up my professor and he nods his head at me. And one of my best friends was in the front of the classroom and she's nodding her head at me and I'm like, oh no, this is really bad. This is something to do with me and that's not good. And I knew what it was. I kind of had a feeling what it was at that point, but no one else knew because I was kind of keeping a really big secret. And what the secret was. And what happened was as soon as I left that classroom, the building was on lockdown and my then husband was at the school. He was armed and making a scene and this building was surrounded by police. And it was just this crazy scene. And what I had been hiding was the fact that I was going through a domestic violence situation and that I had been hiding. It was a major, humiliating, shameful moment for me. And yet on the flip side, out of that moment was born this. It was like something shifted inside me, this beautiful light, this beautiful voice in my head that just said, you are going to rise above this and you are going to make your life into the best possible version of yourself that you can. Not for you and your girls, but for the entire world. And so that was 2002, and here I am 2016. I mean, I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you today had I not made a commitment two years ago to write my book, start getting the message out there and start giving back with that message that came to me that day, which was, you're not only going to survive just to survive, you're going to thrive and then you're going to be a transformational healing voice for the world. And so that's kind of where I am right now. So that was my most resilient moment in my life.

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Thank you for sharing that. And Amy, what do you think that is that, you know, maybe for somebody who's going through something like this right now, it's a fork in the road. Right in that moment you have two choices. You can either crumble underneath it or you can decide to create something from it. So is there a voice that you would say to listen to or something to say or something to focus on and know that instead of, you know, the shame that you could create something so beautiful out of it and that people need it?

That's. This is a great question. I love this question because I think it all comes down to our perspective. And again, focusing on what questions can I ask myself that are empowering questions. So an example of disempowering question would be, why me? Which is staying in that victim mode. But a different question would be, who can I reach out to for help? That might be one. Or actually reframing the way you're looking at the situation in that this is actually a huge blessing. And when we can look at our obstacles from a place of what I call love versus fear, it shifts something inside of us to say, this could be the beginning of something beautiful. And I realized at that moment in time that my. And I write about this in my book Rock bottom. Moments, when you think your life is completely crumbled to ashes is the most empowering moment. And I'll tell you why. It's because you then have the ability to create your reality from the ground up exactly the way you want it.

Crazy. I'm literally writing a chapter all on rock bottoms right now. So you just freaked me out. But it's so beautiful and it's so true. And I think that one of the most empowering things that you can do is realize how beautiful rock bottoms are. Right? They're just. It's like, before that maybe we wouldn't have appreciated our lives. Did you notice that that happened afterward? That things just. What were some of the great things that came out of it right afterward? Directly after?

Well, directly. I mean, I can't say anything great came directly after that. But about two and a half years after that, when my divorce was final and, you know, got on my feet and stuff. Simple things. And I'll tell you really simple things. Like, I love the finer things in life, but I also value really simple things, too. And one of the simplest things that I tell this story in my book, which was that the very first Christmas tree that my daughters and I decorated sounds like such a simple thing. But the ability.

This is, like, so silly, but the.

Ability to actually, like, choose, like, from scratch, like, take a Christmas tree, like a blank canvas, and say, how are we gonna decorate this tree? And our very first Christmas tree, we just decided we were gonna make the girliest tree we possibly could freaking imagine, because we had power and control to choose, like, something as simple as that that was controlled in my life for so long. Something as simple as a Christmas tree was like, we can just decorate this however we want. And we just had the ball with it, and we had the most fun. And my daughters, to this day, it's, like, one of their most favorite moments. Remember our pink and with, like, the ballerina shoes on it, you know what I mean? Like, it was one of the best moments.

No, I love that I feel the same exact way. And a lot of times around our house, it is the simple things that I just. I. I love the little moments during the day where we all make each other laugh, where we're dancing, where we're just. Those are the best parts. And I feel like when we can really focus on that is when. I don't know, when you. It's when you really start living. Right.

Right.

Instead of living in those gaps in between, waiting for the next thing to happen, waiting for the next business thing to happen, you know, whatever that is. So, okay, you talk. When you talk about resilience, what are some things that we can focus on? Maybe if we're not having, you know, major things happen in our life right now, but we just really could use a lot more in order to maybe grow into that person that we want to be. What are some things that we can do in order to grow?

Asking yourself different questions, reframing them all the time. I mean, I think. And I catch myself doing this. So I'm not. I'm definitely not. Like I said, I'm a student as much as I am a teacher of this. I hear you. But things like, things that we tell ourselves, like, what went wrong? Why is this. You know, why did this happen? Why isn't this working? Like, that's like a classic entrepreneur question, right? Why isn't this working? Or why didn't it work? So we start to focus. What happens is we start to focus on why didn't this work? Why didn't this work? And the fact of the matter is, if it didn't work, it's in the past. You can't change it. So one of the things I like to do and one of the things I teach in this part, as part of my mentoring is reframing. That question is, say, okay, what can I do differently? Who can take a look at this for me that might have a different perspective, that can give me feedback? And maybe I'm too close to it. So maybe I just need a different set of eyes on it. Or maybe I just need someone to read through this and see if my copy is good or see if I need to just make it. Might be changing up a paragraph order or something as simple as that. But because we're so close to it, it's like we can't see the tip of our finger when we're touching our nose or we can't see the color of our own eyes. Sometimes it's just a simple shift in the Question we ask ourselves. It's like you ask yourself a different question, you get a different answer, and you get a different result. Right? So that's kind of what I do in my own mental entrepreneurial process. Instead of focusing on what isn't working, like, why didn't that work? Think about. And you might have to get creative with this. Honestly, you might have to get creative and think, okay, what question can I ask myself to reframe and get a different perspective on this? Or who can I ask?

I love that, because I just don't think that we sit in the questions long enough or questions at all.

No, we don't.

We're just, like, floating around trying to find an answer to a question we didn't even ask ourselves. So what's an example of some more disempowering questions that you hear all the time, whether it's business or relationships?

Oh, gosh. Well, I think. I think it's more like the dialogue we have with ourselves. Like the. You know, maybe I did something wrong. What if I'm not good enough? What if they don't like me? I mean, I had this. I'll tell you the funny story. I went. So I just moved from Connecticut to Phoenix, and I got invited to go to a networking event. Now, I don't know. I don't really know anyone here, but I just like, yeah, I'll go to this networking event. Sure, sure, sure. It'll be good for me. And then when I came time for me to go, my introvert took over, and I was like, oh, my gosh, what if it's in a sketchy area? What if I get lost? What if this happens? What if the food is horrible? What if they don't like me? And so I started going into this snowball of these questions, and I was like, amy, this is totally irrational. I literally had this conversation. Like, this is totally irrational behavior right now. A, you have a gps. You're not gonna get lost. So even if you do get lost, the GPS is gonna put you on track. If it's in a sketchy area, you don't have to stop. You can just turn around. So it's like I had to just sit there and walk myself through these questions that I was like, what if? And what if? And what if? And really just pay attention. Like, what am I doing? What am I doing? So those are the types of things that I hear a lot from other people, too. Like, I had someone ask me today, well, I want to launch a blog, but what if I fail and I'M like, the only way you're going to fail is if you don't try. Really? What's the worst that can happen? You know, I always give the. Everything that I do is like the litmus test. What's the worst that can happen? And if the answer isn't death, then there's nothing to lose. Seriously.

It's so true. I was thinking that. I was thinking that on Monday because every Monday I go, I have an orange theory class. It's just a class that I go to that's super hard. It's really challenging. I like to kick off my Mondays with it because it just kind of sets the tone for my week. And every Monday, I am challenged to get there on time. And that's the whole reason that I have this class, right? And there's a million questions that come up, and there's a million things that I can create and say, well, what if this happens? Well, what if I don't have time for this? And what if I get back from the class late? And every single time I'm like, stop it. Deal with it as it comes. And you know all these answers, like, you're just throwing these disempowering questions basically at yourself. I don't even know why. And I know that if I just take that best first step and take the questions as they come one thing at a time, I'm like, everything will work itself out. If I just switch to that mantra for the morning immediately. Everything will work itself out. You'll figure that out when it comes up. You'll get the answer to that question as you need to know it. And it's so funny. Every single Monday, I get my workout in, I come home, everything is great and works out. But I just find it so crazy how our minds throw us these questions right before we're about to do something. And we can think of a million different reasons to not do it. So what are some strategies that you use around those moments before when the resistance, when people want to break through with their business or start a blog or whatever that is?

Oh, my. Well, this has been my latest thing lately, is that I have totally reframed resistance and turned it into resilience. This way. I'll tell you exactly what I've been doing lately. When I experience resistance and when I start to panic and freak out, I'm like, this is why I need to do it. That's exactly what I tell myself. This is why I actually need to do it. And then I focus on how am I going to feel. How do I want to feel after I've accomplished this thing, this goal? And, you know, for anyone who's listening, who maybe. And maybe you've done this too. Lori it's like, I don't get up every day and I'm like, super excited to go to the gym. There's days when I haven't had enough sleep and I'm like, ugh, I really don't feel like it. But in that moment, instead of saying, ugh, I really don't feel like it, let me just sleep. Today I can go to later, I can go do whatever I say to myself, how am I going to feel after I'm done? And I focus on how am I going to feel after? And I'm like, after I go, I always feel so great. And I feel energized. And it's like, then I'm like, oh, I'm getting out of bed. Like, it's no big deal.

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I do that all. I mean, I can't even tell you, like word for word, even as you were explaining is exactly how I would explain it. It's crazy. And then a big motivator for me too is I think of how I'm gonna feel afterward, but then I think of also, if I don't do it, how am I gonna feel? And I'm like, oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh. Exactly. Yeah, exactly.

It's like, it's the craziest feeling. I'm like, no, I'm gonna be irritated. I'm gonna be crabby with everybody else and they're not gonna know why. And I'm gonna be the weirdo who's like. And it's all gonna be because I put something off that I knew that I needed to do. So yes, I love that mantra of just like, nope, this is exactly why you have to do it. So I'm actually gonna apply. I'm in the process of writing right now, so I've just been writing a book, but it's the proposal, Amy. It's the proposal. So do you know what I'm talking about? And I know this is gonna apply to other people, and it's because I'm nearing the end. It's like right before it's getting done. And it's all of the little things that I don't really understand. It's like putting in the numbers. It's really making sure it's tweaked. And I'm not a Detail person. Hear that mantra in my head. I'm not a detail person. So I'm finding it's what we feel. We're not trying to accomplish that. So do you have any advice around that for people who are like, yeah, but I don't know how to do that or where to get the resources. And this is where I always fail or insert excuse.

Insert excuse. Well, there's always. I really come from the mindset that there's always a way. There's always someone who can figure it out. I mean, honestly, like these days you can Google practically anything or YouTube practically anything. But I think sometimes, you know, the closer we get towards a goal or something we're working on, sometimes the more resistance we feel towards the end. And I mean, I can only use the analogy, I've never run a marathon, but I can only imagine that it's like being on mile 24 of a 26 mile marathon where you're like, oh my God, these are the hardest two miles because you've already put in 24 before or 23 before. And also it's our own. Do I really want to release this thing to the world? Is it good enough? Is it all these things? And I think that that happens naturally as part of the process. And, you know, I'm definitely something. It's definitely something I'm still working on myself. And I think maybe the resistance comes. It's like, maybe. And even for me, like, when I published my book, it took me. My book was ready in June. I didn't publish it until it didn't launch until November. And it was my own resistance over. Oh my gosh, my kids are gonna be able to. I mean, my kids knew a lot of what was in it, but the world's gonna know, like, my deep, dark secrets. Like, I share a lot in this book and reveal a lot about myself. And I'm like, it's gonna be out there in the world. And it was really just me having it was being a control freak, for lack of a better word. And just letting go and allowing it was like a huge, huge step. And something that I had to just say to myself, I'm releasing this to the universe. I'm releasing it in love. And whenever I get tripped up, I say to myself, I have the opportunity in this moment to choose between love and fear. Because I truly believe we operate in faith or love or fear. It's really operate from one place or the other. And when I'm felt feeling like fear, which is control, part of my control issues, which Is fear afraid to put it out there? I just ask myself, am I walking in faith right now or fear? That's it.

Such a good question. It's always. Because I feel like when we switch back to love, it's immediately that feeling of just feeling supported. It's like, okay, if I'm not feeling supported, clearly I'm cutting myself off. And when we can get back to that loving place and we know that we are supported and we can ask for help and we can start just seeing where we can love ourselves a little bit more. And that's exactly what. It's exactly what had happened with this particular chapter that I have to finish up for this proposal. As I was writing and I. I read it because I'm nearing the end and I was like, this all sucks. Like, it sucks so bad. And I thought, wow, I never talk to myself like this. Like, why? It's been a really long time since I have. And then instead of that question, I was like, okay, hold up. You're just in it, right? Because I think we just all get in our work and we are. It's what we see every day. It's what we're doing every day. And instead of ask or saying, does this suck? I said, can this help people? Is this story gonna help people? Yes, it's mine. And yes, I'm over it. And yes, it's boring to me, but are there a lot of people who maybe have not heard this that it can help? So that was a perspective switch for me that just completely made me realize it actually was a pretty decent chapter. So now today I'm coming at it, coming at it from a totally new shift. So I know your book is all about perspective, so tell us a little.

Bit about that, a little bit about the book. Well, the book is. The book is called Perspective. It's spelled incorrectly. You know, it's not spelled like the word perspective. It's actually P U R S E, P E C T I V E. And what it is is a. I call it a modern day twist on. You can't judge a book by its cover, but using the hand, a woman's handbag as the metaphor for the baggage that we all carry that no one sees from the outside. So growing up a high achiever, attractive woman, and even through going through chiropractic school that first year, people perceived me a certain way. Like I had it all put together on the outside, when behind the scenes, my life was really a disaster. And so the book is really about that. It's about my journey with my whole process. And I share, you know, it's not a domestic violence book. It's really about overcoming obstacles of any real sort and how I've used resilience to overcome a lot of things. A sudden death, tragic death in my family four years ago of my nephew who was four and a half, and some other things that I've overcome. And so it's just taking a different look at helping people understand that the baggage we carry around with us is the baggage we choose to carry. And so for a long time, I wore some of these things. Like, I carried around my bag like a badge of honor. Like, here I am, I'm a college dropout. I'm this, I'm that. You can choose to carry that around with you or not. And that's kind of what the book is about. It's about really examining one chapter is like examining the contents. Really examine the contents of what's going on. Because you can drop that stuff and leave it behind. You don't have to carry it around with you anymore.

That's so true. And do you believe, do you think that if we don't get right with what we're carrying in the baggage that we have, does it end up coming through in our business and relationships and everything that we do, or were you able to compartmentalize, or do you think that people can.

Do. I think it comes through. Yes, 100%, I think it comes through. And I'll tell you, and I'll explain to you exactly how and how I see it, how I've seen it in my chiropractic practice, when we stuff things down and we don't look at our pain, you know, because honestly, like, I, for a long time, I was a pain avoider. Like, I don't have time to deal with my pain. I don't have time to deal with my feelings. I don't have time to look at it. I'm too busy. I'm too busy achieving. I'm too busy reaching my next goal. I'm too busy, too busy, too busy. And what happens. And I see this all the time, and you probably do, too, in your industry. These are the things that happen. Adrenal fatigue, burnout, low back pain, disc herniations, can't sleep, headaches, migraines. I herniated a disc a couple years ago. Now, there's an irony there. I was a chiropractor. A herniated disc couldn't work for a week because I was going, going, going, and it was like my body gave me A warning sign. So these are some things that. Of how this stuff manifests over time. If you really don't get right with what's going on inside of you. Yes.

If you don't notice, you're gonna get so many signs over and over. It's that lesson, right, that if we don't get it, you will continue to get it in every way possible until it literally. I mean, we hear that from some of the most successful people until it just completely knocks you down and stops you. Like, hello. Hello. This is actually a gift. We're trying to teach you something.

I know. I just heard. I saw Gabby Bernstein this weekend and she was saying the same thing. She's like, show up for what's showing up. Yes. Because otherwise it's going to show up for you. Like, it's going to show up. So show up for it, deal with it, surrender it, and then surrender some more. Like, surrender it, turn it over, release it to the universe, and then release the fear of releasing it. It's like, go deeper, go deeper. Because you've got to take a look at this stuff or it will manifest. It will manifest itself in some way, shape or form as a disease. It might take five years, 10 years, 15 years, but if you shove it down. I know like, I know like, I know it manifests in people's bodies, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Okay, so this brings up the question. I feel like so many of us, and I believe in the past, this was me too. And I actually see this with quite a few people in my life that I don't know. I feel like they're afraid of letting go of that. Like, fear is almost a blanket. Like this thing that keeps coming up, this victim mode, whatever it is, it's almost like if they let it go, they wouldn't know who they are. And that can be scary, too.

Do you know what I'm talking about? I know exactly what you're talking about. We get comfortable with our story. We get comfortable. I mean, and some people don't even realize they're afraid until you point it out. They're just like. They just think they're clinging on and they're just living their life. They don't identify that there's a fear of letting the pain actually go. Because now, guess what? There's no more excuses. There's no more, well, I have back pain, so I can't work out. Okay. You know what I mean? I mean, that's a simplification, but that's exactly, you know, that's exactly what Happens. It's like, we can no longer. We can no longer play that same record. It's like, okay, now I don't have any more excuses, so now I'm held accountable. Like, oh, no, that's scary too, right?

I know there's layers of questions, and questions are actually freedom, and they're never, ever easy. But I've been doing this practice of just ask the next question, ask the next question. Because questions bring so much clarity in your life and about the direction that you should go. It's funny, I had somebody on social media, I posted a picture of running myself running. And I never used to run, right? And I used to have a million excuses around running and why I didn't want to do it and why I thought it was bad or whatever. Now I love it because it's so freeing for my brain. And this woman had wrote, oh, I wish I could run. I can't run right now. My knee hurts. Just something about why she wishes she could run, too. And that would be so great, and her life would change, but she can't. And I thought, well, there's so many other things that you could do. And I thought, you know, this sounds just like me when I used to not run. But if I would have asked myself, if I didn't have that issue, would I actually run anyway? No, totally wouldn't. It's just. Especially with the languaging wish. Whenever I find myself or hearing myself in my mind say, I wish I had that, or I wish I could do this, I'm like, let's get really honest. Would you actually do that? Or would you. Would you actually follow through? Because then it puts the control back in your life. I think we wish away all of our control all of the time. Like, I wish my life was like this, or I wish it was like that. When really it's just a way to give up control. And sometimes when we can give up that victim mode, it's like, oh, my gosh, you're kidding me. I've been in control of my life this whole time. That can be really a scary, scary place. So what happens when we come to that place and we realize that we've been in control? It's not that you have to start everything at once, but what are some things that we can do?

That's a good question. And I think, well, to also. To go back to that for just one second, we've given away our power, our power of choice, right? So when we're in that mode of, oh, gosh, I wish you Know, I wish I could be like her. Wish I could run. I wish. Well, it's a choice. And like you said, I mean, you hit the nail on the head, which is, would I really do it? Am I choosing to do it? So that's kind of. And I would say that's the first step. Or one thing you can do is, what am I choosing? I always feel like that's an empowering statement or an empowering question to ask myself. For example, when I found myself, when my kids were little, my girls were little, and I used to have to pick them up at school. Used to be like, I gotta. There's days when I didn't feel like picking them up at school. And it was like, I don't feel like picking them up at school today. Like, oh, my gosh. And then I would go, I'm such a bad mother for not wanting to pick up my kids. You know, that's what would go through my head. Until it was like, wait a minute, I'm making a choice to pick them up. This is a joyful thing. Like, I'm choosing to pick them up because they love it when I pick them up and they run over and give me hugs, and I love it when they do that. This is a choice. It's not a chore. Right. It's a choice, not a choreography. So it's just. It all goes back to our perspective, you know, pun intended. It all goes back to our perspective of how we look at things. Like, you chose not to run at that point in time, but you made a switch and you made a choice. You know what? I'm gonna try it again, and I'm making a choice to try it. And now you love it. I mean, look at what happened as a result of you choosing to kind of like, you know what? I'm gonna try this again and see if I like it. It's a choice, and that's more empowering.

I could see how that could be so huge in obviously, owning your own business is really realizing that you choose it because I. So as a business owner, you know that you can wake up every day and say, I have to do this or wow. People have no idea how hard being an entrepreneur is and that you have to be a self starter and X, Y, and Z. And what are the things that you say to yourself or that you teach people to really be able to wake up and be excited about what they're doing and really stay in that initial passion of building a business.

I love this. And it's not. I'M telling you, it's not easy. The other day, I woke up the other day and I was like, ugh. You know, but you're right, it is a choice. It's like putting on a. Just something as simple as putting on a podcast. I mean, people that don't do podcasts don't know how much work goes involved behind the scenes, and it's. They just, you know, it's like, it is a lot of work behind the scenes to put a podcast together, show notes and emailing guests and coordinating schedules and all that stuff and doing the graphics to promote it, like, all that other stuff. And whenever I go back to the same thing, it's like, I chose this. I love talking to people. Like, I chose this. This is part of my mission, so why am I complaining about it? So the other day when I woke up and I was like, ugh, you know, I don't have, like, I have, like, I didn't have much of my schedule. I'm like, oh, I don't have much of my schedule today. And I like being busy. And. And I'm like, wait a minute, I have all this free time. Like, this is really cool because I've chosen this lifestyle. I've chosen to be an entrepreneur, so what can I. So I instantly, the moment I got out of bed and I was feeling yuck, I was like, you know, because I was like, oh, I'm not as busy right now as I want to be. And I want to, you know, all this stuff going through my head, I said, wait a minute, I have all this free time. And instead of. Again, it's another perspective shift. Instead of looking at my calendar and saying, oh, I'm not as busy as I want to be. I have all this free time. What am I going to choose to do? Oh, I'm going to go into creative mode because I have all this time that I normally don't have. And this is one thing that I have learned when I am stuck, when I feel stuck, and this is huge when I am stuck, instead of the fastest way that I get unstuck is to start creating, is to create something, to start writing, to start doing something, or take going for a walk or something, because that is the quickest way that I know personally a strategy to really shift my mindset is going into. I'm going to do something. It doesn't matter necessarily, always what you do, but just the process for me, it's being creative. So I actually talk about writing a book. I started writing my next book, and the Minute I said, you know what? I'm going to start writing my next book. I think it's time. Oh, I got the chapter outlines. Like, I'm good to. Like, that happened literally, like, two days ago. The chapter outlines just came to me. I was like, oh, it was because I made a choice. I said a prayer. I opened myself up to the universe, and I said, okay, what do you want me to do now? What do you want me to do now? What can I create? Use me as a vessel to create something beautiful. And what is that? And it was like, oh, it's your book. It's your next book. I was like, okay, cool.

I love hearing that. So I love that so much for so many reasons. Everything that you said, number one. Well, actually, this would be number two. Action cures anxiety. That's what I say to myself all the time. You feel anxious, you feel sad, you feel depressed. It's because you're not taking action in something, anything. Move. Get out of your house. Like, I'm always like, don't be a lump. Like, just go. Like, if it's time to be a lump, allow yourself to be then and enjoy it. You know, allow the downtime. If it's not time and you need to create, then go do something else. And the number one, though, is you open yourself up and you pray and you ask for help. Because I think so many people ask and want to know, how does this happen? How does this happen? And it's because of everything that you just said. We're not alone. And you have to open up and be willing to know that you're supported and ask anything, whether you believe in God's source, whatever that is, a higher power for help, guidance, whatever that you need in that direction, and ask him. Be really specific. I mean, the more specific that I've gotten and been like, please help me to not feel sad right now and to go do something that helps me be creative. Just anything in that moment, it might just seem like to you it might sound so stupid. Like so small or so stupid. Like, some people when they pray, they feel like it has to be this. This perfectly thought out plan. And I mean, I use it every. Some days, it's like every five minutes. I'm like, okay, I know.

And I mean, I think of prayer as just conversation. Like, I. And I grew up in Catholic school, so it was like, oh, you know, you say the creeds and you do all that stuff. And I just kind of like, I just look at it now like it's just a conversation. Like it's just a conversation. And having that it takes for me. I don't know about anybody else, but it just takes the pressure off of that. Okay, I have to say my prayers now. You know what I mean?

Totally.

I'm just having a conversation. I'm just having a conversation with God, the universe, higher power, whatever you want to call it. It doesn't matter if you believe in something higher than yourself. It's just having a conversation with that higher self of yours. Like, okay, what should I do now? What can I do now? What can I create now? How can I make an impact in the world better? What can I do differently? And just staying open, I think that's the other thing, is being open to the answers that you get is not always like. I've had a lot of detours in my life, and sometimes looking back at all those detours were actually blessings in disguise. I just, you know, I didn't see it at the time, you know, but looking back at them, you know, they weren't like, I felt like a spoiled little brat when I didn't get my way, like, oh, I want this right now. You know? And looking back and if I had been open instead of, like, had the, like, spoiled brat mentality, I would have realized this is when I wasn't as evolved as I am now. I would have realized that they were just the obstacle was just a detour, you know, for me to go in a different direction that happened to. To be the right direction.

Okay, so what does that feel like for you? Because so many people ask me this because I agree 100%, and they ask, how do I know? Like, how do I know when I'm being detoured in, you know, the direction that I'm supposed to go? Or what does it feel like when you ask and you get the answer? What does it feel like for you? Because I do believe it's all, you know, it's all different for people, but the more that we can hear, the more we can kind of understand.

Well, this is great. I love this conversation. And I would say two things. Two things from my experience have happened. One is when I was stomping my feet like a little girl, I had wanted this job really bad way back when. I wanted this job so bad. And I got the job, and I got a job offer. And then. And it was a small business startup. This is just a quick story. Small business startup. And I got the job. I was supposed to start the job, and then I didn't hear from the person hiring me for, like, Two weeks. And I was like, this is really weird. I'm supposed to start. And I kept emailing her, and I didn't start. And then I find out, like, on social media, she made this big job announcement that she's like, oh, look who I hired. And I was like, wait a minute. That's not my picture. You're like, send her your picture.

Wrong picture, lady.

What happened? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. So I was really crushed in that moment. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise because her business didn't last six months. And I was like, you know, so it turned out to be a blessing. I didn't know that at the time. At the time when that moment happened, when I saw someone else's face on social media, like, making this big announcement, I was so crushed because the person happened to be a friend of mine, too. So I was crushed in that moment. And it took me, honestly, Lori, like, two days to, like, recover my ego from that. I'll be totally honest, it took me a while to recover from that ego blast. And then after that, I was like, there's a lesson that's gonna be learned. There's something good that's gonna come out of this. I know it. Cause there always is. I can trust and have faith that there's something good that always comes out of something that doesn't work out my way. I have faith in that because I have evidence of that in my life when things haven't worked out. And sure enough, this is just another piece of evidence that didn't work out. The woman's business didn't last six months. She went out of business, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, okay, now I have another story and another piece of evidence that validates what I know and what I can have faith in, which is there's things that don't work out our way. There's always. I always, always. There's always a better way. There's always something better coming along. Always.

Yes.

Yes.

Amen. And the thing that came clear across while you're talking for me, that you're saying is just you decided to choose to be willing to be open to a lesson that it's trying to teach you.

Yes.

And I think whenever we can shift to that immediately, is when we're going to get blessed with a lesson and the why, and we're going to be able to see. See how. But if we're not willing to see that, it could be a good thing, no matter what sort of disaster it might be. Just that shift into willingness of this could be good. Just show me how this could be good.

I.

It, like, whenever things go wrong, I'm always like, okay, this is actually great because I'm going to be able to teach on this.

Yeah, exactly. Oh, my gosh, it's so funny.

Maybe not now, but because I'm still, like, blazing and I would just say, like awful things, but. But in the future I will be able to teach on this, so.

Exactly. I love, I love that. And I always, you know, the other thing I say to myself, and this might be helpful for anyone who's listening, is I feel that God always has the highest and best for me. And that's what I say when I don't feel my highest and best. I'm like, you know, I have faith that, you know, God's got the highest and best intention for me. And that's really what has gotten me through. Like, I know this is for the highest and best for me. It's a learning experience. It's this or that I've learned, you know, whatever it is, that's kind of how I look at it. And again, it goes back to your perspective, but you definitely hit the nail on the head when you said, you know, it's just. It's how you look at things and it's your perspective and. And it's that shift in this could be the highest and best thing for.

Me, really, ultimately that's so powerful because, you know, we do, especially in the time that we're in right now with our society, we do want it now, and we think there's something wrong with us if we're not getting it right away or if it doesn't work. But if you can switch it over to, you know, God has a plan that's highest and highest and best for me that I can't even see. Just that simple trust is knowing that. And I can apply that. Looking back at all the times of all the things that I wanted and did not end up getting right, and look and say, wow, if I would have gotten that, this would have happened, or I would have missed out on this, or if I wouldn't have had to wait four years for what I thought was gonna happen in a year, you know, I wouldn't have been the person who would have been able to handle what came after that. So it's always. I mean, that is the most beautiful mantra that I'm going to take with me from this podcast. So I am so grateful for that and for you, and I would just love for people to be able to find you. Where do you like to hang out?

I hang out primarily in two places right now, which is Facebook. My business page is Dr. Amy Kanata. People can find me there or on Instagram, same thing. It's like doctoramycanata. I pretty much hang out those two places. And then if they want to learn a little more about me and what I do, they can go to my website, amycanata.com Yep. Or check out the podcast.

I do some awesome videos on your page. I went to your page and saw some really great videos.

So thank you. Yes.

You guys, check out the podcast and any closing thoughts that you want to add or leave with.

Honestly, just want to say thank you for this opportunity to be here. I'm always, I'm very humble and I really like to practice, you know, immense gratitude. So I just want to say thank you so much and thanks for everyone who's listening. I am truly like a transformational, healing voice and a servant here on this planet to make it a better place. And I feel humbled and honored to be here and be the voice today. So thank you so much.

Thank you so much, Amy. And you guys, if you loved this episode as much as I did, make sure you share it. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me, me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think. Tell us, tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys.

Bye.

Bye.