820. Accepting Uncertainty And How To Process It

Thanks to Butcherbox for supporting my show. Every month Butcherbox ships a curated selection of high quality meat right to your home. This holiday, Butcherbox is giving new members one pack of bacon for free in every box plus $20 off each box for the first five months of your membership. That's free bacon for life and up to $100 off. Sign up@butcherbox.com Lori there is a situation that exists that is sunny within the bleak times, within the dark times, within the rock bottom times. And you would not understand how freaking amazing the sunshine is and how good the good times are if you did not have the bad times.

Welcome to the Earn your Happy Podcast. I'm Lori Harder, Founder of Light Pink, best selling author, three time fitness world champion and I'm a crazy multi passionate entrepreneur. My journey has taken me everywhere from being a broke waitress, Rista, retails associate and personal trainer with massive anxiety and no belief in myself to later becoming a multimillionaire in love with my life. In 2007, my husband and I lost everything. We found ourselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt at rock bottom. We had no ideas and I had no education to fall back on. This is when I found personal development and learned everything I could about business. Not not by choice, but because I realized no one was coming to save me. The conversations on this podcast are going to let you know that you're not.

Alone and that we all feel like.

We don't know what we're doing. We're going to give you the tools to help you face your fears, take action, start your business and grow those massive dreams that are keeping you up at night. It's time to create a life that you can't hide from and put so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. You're going to stop waiting for someone to approve of you and you're going to anoint yourself. Because I'm obsessed about building businesses that give women a platform. I want to feature you. So if you text the word podcast to 310-496-8363, you can get your questions answered on our Q and A segment along with a shout out. And if you rate, review and subscribe to this podcast, we're choosing someone every month month to get coached and featured on our show. It just might be you. So let's get started.

Hey everyone, welcome back to the show.

It's time for another quickie and there's.

Always time to fit in inspiration and you're proving it right now. Look at you.

I'm so proud of you.

It's like the freaking holidays. And maybe you're listening to this right before Christmas. Maybe you're listening to this at that weird time in between Christmas and New Year's. Whatever it is, I just want you to know I'm so freaking proud of you. I'm proud of me for recording this. So go us. We're crushing it already. Here we come. 2022. And I was scrolling on Instagram and my brother in law posted something from a book that I'm not quite to this point yet in the book and it just pretty much knocked me out of my chair because it put words to the kind of year and emotions that I have been having all year. And I can say that this sentence probably summarizes me Accepting the assignment, understanding the assignment. This is truly what it is. I think of that TikTok or all the reels where it's I understood the assignment and this would be my assignment is to accept the burden of processing uncertainty. And truly, if I would have known that that was the assignment at the beginning of the year, I feel like maybe I could have accepted it quicker. But I didn't completely understand it yet. And I just want to share a few things about that. And this is from the book the Messy Middle. If you guys have not read it yet, it's a huge ass book. It's a bit daunting, but you can just read a couple chapters or one chapter at a time, even one page at a time. It's one of those books where you can get a lot out of it. So if you are somebody who is starting a business who is in the middle of a business, you definitely want to grab this book.

It's more for people in the middle.

Of business because maybe if you start, you don't want to read it yet because it's going to talk a lot about what the middle feels like and it's very honest. And you know, I wouldn't give any part of the middle up because the middle is where you're made. The middle is where all of the pressure and uncertainty is. And that is how we become our highest selves. And we know that pressure makes diamonds. And also pressure is a privilege because without pressure we do not get to tap into parts of ourselves that we have not yet realized. So accept the burden of processing uncertainty. That is your assignment. That is my assignment. That is how we become the vessels and containers that can hold the blessing that is coming for us on the other side of our dream, our vision, and our business. But with much blessing, we know, comes much responsibility. And it really is one of the biggest things that I think we can start to understand is to know that with great blessings are also going to come things that you don't necessarily love. And because in order to have great blessings, you need great contrast, right? For every amazing thing, the only reason it is amazing is because you went through something to get it. Because you, you had contrast, right? For all of you who have been to a rock bottom place before, you know that when you win or when you have these windfalls, or when you break through something, when you bust through a belief, when you break a family pattern, it is like the most euphoric fucking feeling you've ever had because you literally are just like, you know what the darkness looked like and you now feel the light so bright. Okay? So I don't know about you, but I am from the Midwest. So I just want you to picture very, very winters. And I remember the first time we moved out to California for the winter. And I'll give the example of maybe when you go on vacation as well. So just picture middle of winter. It like hasn't reached above 0 degrees in three weeks in February, right? That kind of winter where they say on the news every day, like, your kids can't go to school, like, don't be outside for too long, you're going to die, right? You're, like, just praying your heater works and that you have enough money to keep your heater working so that you don't freeze to death. So legit, like, these things happen and you have a vacation planned and you go and you sit in the sun for the first time, right? You step off that plane. Let's just say you're in Maui and all of a sudden, literally, you feel that sun hit your face. It's a different kind of feeling that you cannot even begin to describe. It's not like springtime or summertime. It's like when you have stepped from the dead of winter, when you have stepped from. Just like. It is bleak. You didn't understand that. What the hell? How is Hawaii even existing in the winter? Like, you're telling me that Hawaii exists just like this. Warm and sunny and happy and fricking Mai Tais everywhere and people in the ocean and in pools simultaneously, while I'm freezing my ass off in bleak winter hell, darkness with no sign of thawing in sight. This is what I want you to understand about your life, is that during those times there is a situation that exists that is sunny within the bleak Times within the dark times within the rock bottom times. And you would not understand how freaking amazing the sunshine is and how good the good times are if you did not not have the bad times. Quality ingredients are the foundation to a delicious and memorable meal. And when it comes to the main dish, you don't ever want to skimp on quality. ButcherBox delivers 100% grass fed beef, free range organic chicken, humanely raised pork and wild caught seafood directly to your door. 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All you have to do is sign up@butcherbox.com Lori that's butcherbox.com Lori. For real you guys. When I first first moved to California and we moved and it was like almost December and we came from the cold and 30 years in the winter for me and not just in the winter. I am from upper Michigan. I am like a badass because I survived those winters. They are insane. I once had to jump out of a second story window because our snow snowed our door in. So it's so high that we couldn't open our front door. And this was like what I thought was normal. That's what I thought was normal. Like we would walk on snowbanks to school and we would step over the globes of the streetlights because that's how high the snowbanks were built up because there was nowhere for the snow. So they just went up and this is what I thought was normal. So imagine living in Upper Michigan, Wisconsin and Minnesota. Like it's like I kept following snowstorms and then moving to California for the first time. I didn't understand the blessings the greatness, the beauty, the warmth that people were living their life in the middle of winter. Like, weren't we supposed to be depressed and hibernate? And this is the contrast. This is the uncertainty that we have to sit in. And I want you to remember that without that contrast, we could not experience the greatness. So the contrast for you, if you are starting a business in the middle of a business, pivoting in a business, wanting to switch careers, whatever you are, maybe you're leaving a relationship right now. Maybe you need to develop new relationships and you're in that uncertain time of God, who's gonna love me? I don't fit into any friend groups. I feel rejected in my family right now. My family doesn't even support me. Like, these are the uncertain times, and the assignment is to accept them and see how much you can withstand. So little by little, you're going to sit in uncertainty for longer. Little by little, you are going to try to compartmentalize these areas in your life that are very uncertain and say, you know what? I don't get to know this right now. Like, even though I know that I really, really want to know this and I don't feel good and I'm not sure, and this is making me feel like I can't take the next step, I know that this just comes with the blessing that if I can withstand this and keep moving forward despite even seeing where my footing is going to be, that I will eventually move through this uncertainty and get clear in this arena. And what happens is that we're always trading our uncertain moment for another uncertain moment. If you are choosing this life of evolution, and I think that the most beautiful thing that I get now is that I will always be uncertain in one area or another. And without that, I would be miserable. So I'm actually starting to look at uncertainty. Even as painful as it is at fricking 2am in the morning, when I just am begging God to help me feel some form of peace in my life in certain areas, I literally just offer it up, put it in his hands. Whatever you believe, God, universe, whatever that is. Because in order to process uncertainty, you need to believe in something bigger than you and you need to create a support system.

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So in order to accept this assignment that goes along with your largest blessing in Life, especially in 2022. I know you guys are all super goal oriented and you want to crush it this year, you're going to have to accept the assignment of uncertainty, right? Like sitting in it, expanding time that you can handle it. And that is going to take from you massive faith. And that is going to take work in getting a network and trying to find that network, whether it's joining a mastermind, whether it is DMing a bunch of friends or a bunch of people you don't know on Instagram and starting a support group. Like, literally, I just got done with a workout with a newer friend here who I was like, I need a workout partner. I need to know you're committed to this. Here are my goals. Do they match? Do you want to do this? Because I need some support around my workouts right now. They're really important to me. My body is the way that I hear things and the way that I hear messages and my intuition. And when I'm not eating well and when I'm not moving the way that I want, when I'm not holding myself to a really disciplined standard and certain things that I know make me feel better, then I'm blocking my blessing, because that's how I hear what my next move is. That's how I have faith. That's how I feel good. That's how I can handle more uncertainty, is by taking care of myself and getting around the groups of people that really help me think bigger. And if I'm not supporting myself in that way, then I am not truly. I am not truly preparing myself or telling God or the universe or both. To me, it's both telling God that I'm ready for this next level and this next blessing. I'm literally saying, yeah, God, I want it.

Give it to me.

Bless me. Except he's like, what are you doing? Like, how am I supposed to give it to you? You can't handle it. You don't feel good because you're drinking wine five nights a week. Like, how are you? You're not going to be able to handle this. You're not going to be the person who's going to bring this blessing to fruition unless you get your shit together. And, you know, it's important that we give ourselves grace, but it's also important to say, where am I blocking my blessing? And if uncertainty truly is the assignment that I'm accepting, then where is it that is making me feel even more uncertain? Because I'm not taking care of my health. I'm not drinking my water I'm not taking my vitamins. I'm not getting the sleep I need. I'm not creating the friendships that are going to help me carry this burden and relieve it from me. When I'm feeling crazy, who can just say, I feel this with you? Like, here's what we can do. Here's how we can fix it. Here's how we can carry this burden together. These are all of the things that we have to simultaneously be doing that people don't tell you while you're creating this business and going for your dream. And I want to tell you that it's worth every second. Like, as hard as I say that it is, and as much as it's going to stretch you, oh, my God. You're going to experience things that most people in this world will never experience. It is going to blow your mind. You're literally going to stand in the mirror and be like, damn, girl, I am so proud of you for doing the hard thing. I love you. Oh, my God, you showed up. I'm so damn proud of you. That is what you are going to experience in 2022. I am speaking that blessing all over you. It's happening for us. It's happening for your friends. We can do this together as long as we follow these guardrails and accepting this assignment of uncertainty. You guys, I love you so much. Thank you for supporting this podcast.

Always.

And until next time, earn your happy.

Sam.