840. Follow The Resistance To Unlock The Miracles

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If you are experiencing feeling stuck, if you are experiencing not feeling supported or connected, the only way to experience those feelings is to go and make sure you are supporting yourself.

Welcome to the Earn your Happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, Founder of Light Pink, bestselling author, three time fitness World champion, and I'm a crazy, multi passionate entrepreneur. My journey has taken me everywhere from being a broke waitress, barista, retails, a associate and personal trainer with massive anxiety and no belief in myself to later becoming a multimillionaire in love with my life. In 2007, my husband and I lost everything. We found ourselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt at rock bottom. We had no ideas and I had no education to fall back on. This is when I found personal development and learned everything I could about business. Not by choice, but because I realized was coming to save me. The conversations on this podcast are going to let you know that you're not alone and that we all feel like.

We don't know what we're doing.

We're going to give you the tools to help you face your fears, take action, start your business, and grow those massive dreams that are keeping you up at night. It's time to create a life that you can't hide from and put so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. You're going to stop waiting for someone to approve of you and you're going to anoint yourself. Because I'm obsessed about building businesses that give women a platform, I want to feature you. So if you text the word podcast to 310-496-8363, you can get your questions answered on our Q and A segment along with a shout out. And if you rate, review and subscribe to this podcast, we're choosing someone every month to get coached and featured on our show. It just might be you. So let's get started.

Hey everyone, welcome back to the podcast. It's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration and I am currently in Vail, Colorado and I am having one of the most magical times I can possibly explain to you with girlfriends. And I'll tell you that I feel like every trip, not just this trip, comes at a time where I'm always thinking that I shouldn't go. I'm always thinking I'm too busy. I'm always thinking I don't have the space. I'm always thinking that I shouldn't be vacationing. What will my team think? And I'm just repeating this back to myself, really, right now, as my own therapy and as my own mirror to myself that when I go away like this, especially this is. This is the key. It's not just going away with your girlfriends with zero intention or maybe even sometimes just going and, you know, having one of those trips where you really don't drop in. You're not really connecting. Maybe you're just drinking a lot or not, you know, sitting by the pool and not really connecting deeply, which there's a time and a place for that too. I'm totally not knocking that because I definitely have moments in my life where I'm like, oh, my God, I just need to go on one of of those trips where I'm not thinking and I turn things off and I just don't care and I relax. But I think there's so much power also in these trips where you combine fun and play and also just the intention of connecting deeply and being there for each other. And, you know, what I'm observing is we've been together. I believe this is day four and the first day. No matter what I think there's always coming together and kind of getting out those random nerves. Even if it's a really good friend. I know some people don't experience this, but for me, like, getting back into that different energy of like, you know, friend group, girlfriends, things like that, and dropping in and all your past fears can come up around relationships. It can be like, is this a safe space? What if I, you know, overshare? You start overthinking and just allowing yourself to observe those thoughts and be like, hey, we all feel this way. And not just observe them, actually, we all brought them up and said, like, what are your fears around friendships? What are your fears even around, like, dropping in on trips like this? Like, we've all randomly shared our fears and it's made us feel so much closer in such a short period of time. Hey, let's be real. It is hard to set new goals.

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But the reason that I wanted to come on was to not only hold up a mirror for myself, but to hold up a mirror for you. That if you are experiencing feeling stuck, if you are experiencing not feeling supported or connected, the only way to experience those feelings is to go and make sure you are supporting yourself. Meaning reach out to girlfriends, even if you don't know them well. Like I'm on a trip with women. Some of them I hardly even have gotten to spend a lot of time with at all. And to me that felt a little bit risky, but it also felt so right. It's like, well, what's the worst that could happen? I'm gonna learn from these people, no matter. And what is happening is that we are so fully open to what's here for us. Like expanding conversation, really trying to understand each other and where we're all at in our businesses and in our life and everything is opening up for us, which is absolutely insane. So on day four, we just had a completely like beautiful moment in the kitchen of this suite we're staying in where our hearts were so full of. We had tears in our eyes of the realization of how Things have opened up for us. How big decisions have been made while we were here that were waiting in the background, how beautiful surprise blessings have come through our emails, have come through our businesses, all while we've been gone. And what can happen is sometimes we think we are going to get these things when we're at home, at our desk or on those calls, or pushing that boulder up the hill at home, making things happen. And I found that while that is so important that you also need this place where you are literally going and playing and letting go and surrendering to the universe. So I want that. I want to remind you that sometimes the places you have the most resistance around leaving, relaxing, playing, going with new girlfriends on a trip, oh, my God, that can feel so scary. Setting intentions, asking deep questions, being really, really vulnerable, all the things that make us uncomfortable is typically where the magic is. And every time I go away on trips, I always come back with something profound which I don't even. I'm not even like, this trip better give me something profound. But it's like I always am in such observation of everything while I'm gone, of just like, okay, how am I feeling? Okay, how can I let that go? Okay, why is that coming up? Okay, how is this exactly? Like, why? Just relating it to how I am in life. And I think if you do that, then what's to happen for you when you go away is you're going to get these miraculous blessings as well. And it's so important to have that duality of working very hard. I think it's important, I really do, and also to go and surrender. So to set those intentions, to work hard to make those relationships, but then also go and fully surrender and let go. And I believe that that is what playing and being in deep connection and with other people does. And what's crazy is we've unlocked so many answers for each other that I truly believe you can't unlock on your own. And we had this conversation at the dinner table the other night where one of my girlfriends, Danette, asked, you know, how do you give yourself? Like, what is the way that you give yourself self love when you are feeling not confident in yourself or when you're feeling really down, like, how do you support yourself? And the answer that came to me right away, there were quite a few answers that came after that, but the very first one was that I go and reach out to my friendships and I get really vulnerable and share where I'm at or have different conversations with them because I believe that, yes, we are whole without people. But I do believe that it takes other people unlocking these parts of ourselves that are already whole inside. So if you look at it like as a bunch of locks, like you're.

Already, you're already whole.

You already have all of the locks that you need inside of you, but it takes another person to actually unlock them so that you get the gift that is inside of the lock that's already inside of you.

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So that's what I see happening when I sit in these conversations and I sit for these long periods of time in friendships that sometimes can even feel uncomfortable, right? Like, I don't have time for that. Oh my gosh, I should be working. I shouldn't be going off and doing these things. But all of a sudden, you allow yourself to connect deeply with someone and you get the answer that you'd been searching for or the thing that optimizes your time or that skips the line, or you find that perfect hire because they refer you to someone. These are all the things that you can't forget that are invaluable. And you have to play the long game with relationships. It's so important. You're not gonna go on one trip or you're not gonna go and meet one person and get everything you need. This is long term. This is like finding those people, connecting with them and making sure you keep up those relationships. It doesn't mean you have to give your all to these relationships, but just checking in and maybe helping them out when you see that they need something, or even checking in and saying, hey, is there anything that I can do for you? What are you working on? What's exciting? And even if you do that every three to six months, that's how you keep up a relationship and play the long game. And not just that. It's just so beautiful to know that you have all of these incredible people in your life. So I'm sending you guys so much love. Maybe you're gonna book a trip now. Maybe you're gonna go ask some random strangers. Don't make it too strange. I don't know the stranger the better. Who knows to go and play. Go and see what happens. Go and have some deep conversation, facilitate some great questions at the dinner table. That's definitely what we're doing. You know, how can I support you? What's exciting right now? What doesn't feel good? Where do you want to go? What's your biggest vision? All of these questions are really going to help drop you in and unlock not only something for them but something huge inside of you. So as of right now I'm recording this on 22 of 2022 and I just feel like it is a very magical day that's opening up a lot for all of you. I have a feeling that something has opened up for you. You just have to really be open to it and look but I have a feeling you already know what it is. So sending you so much love and until next time earn your happy. Sam.