851. Podcaster & Entrepreneur Kacia Fitzgerald On Her Theory About Going from Good to Great, How To Compartmentalize Your Emotions When Running A Business, And Why Discomfort Means “Take Action”

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Lori Perfect is completely up to interpretation and no matter what you do, somebody's gonna have something to say. So what if you just decided that starting right now and bringing people along for the ride and being more transparent and less like your shit is all together is actually going to be the thing that people are going to say? She gets me.

Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of Light Pink, best selling author, three time fitness world champion, and I'm a crazy, multi passionate entrepreneur. My journey has taken me everywhere from being a broke waitress, barista, retails associate and personal trainer with massive anxiety and no belief in myself, to later becoming a multimillionaire in love with my life. In 2007, my husband and I lost everything. We found ourselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt at rock bottom. We had no ideas and I had no education to fall back on. This is when I found personal development and learned everything I could about business. Not by choice, by but because I realized no one was coming to save me. The conversations on this podcast are gonna let you know that you're not alone and that we all feel like we don't know what we're doing. We're gonna give you the tools to help you face your fears, take action, start your business, and grow those massive dreams that are keeping you up at night. It's time to create a life that you can't hide from and put so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. You're gonna stop waiting for someone of you, and you're going to anoint yourself. Because I'm obsessed about building businesses that give women a platform. I want to feature you. So if you text the word podcast to 310-496-8363, you can get your questions answered on our Q and A segment along with a shout out. And if you rate, review and subscribe to this podcast, we're choosing someone every month month to get coached and featured on our show. It just might be you. So let's get started. Oh man. Get ready because this podcast had me levitating literally out of my chair. I am so obsessed with this woman, Keisha Fitzgerald. She's the host of Empower her podcast, founder and CEO of She goes, and we talk all about, about going from good to great. Not just that, but what are the confidence building hacks that are going to help you actually grow your business? Because at the end of the day, it's usually our mindset or our belief in ourselves or our skillset that stops us. So we talk all about what goes into confidence building, habit stacking, and making sure that you have the tribe around you that you need in order to grow into the person that you came here to be.

Not just.

Just that we talk a lot about anxiety and the things that come up when you go to build your business, starting a podcast, owning where you're at, calling your shot, grieving family, feeling so many different ways, holding two emotions simultaneously at the same time while trying to build a business and stay in relationships and be a good human. You guys, this podcast is loaded with good things. I couldn't take notes fast enough, so let's get started. Keisha, I'm so excited to have you on the podcast. Thank you so much for coming on.

I'm so pumped to be here with you and chat all the things. This is going to be so much fun. Thank you for having me.

Oh, my goodness. I was so excited to have you on. Just because when we got to drop in, you guys, we went on a walk as couples. So it was me and Chris and her and Sina and I had so much fun that morning. I literally was so glad that we took the time out to meet with you guys, to walk with you guys. And you are somebody who is just. You're literally on a rocket ship. And, you know, sometimes I think we look from the outside looking in and you're like, how are they doing that? And I love that you're on here today because, number one, it's gonna be really clear about your enthusiasm. But number two, you help people scale. You help people scale podcasts. You understand where people are at. And it is possible for people to not only grow, but to also grow quickly. So I'm thrilled to be having this conversation. We're going to talk a lot about going from good to great, because I know that that is part of your story. So why don't we start there? Why don't we start with what you're doing now, but then what's the story to get there?

So thank you so much again. I'm just so pumped to be here. So now I am a podcast host, a speaker. I help women launch podcasts, grow, scale podcasts. We are doing our first live event, and personally, I'm about to get married to my fiance of 13 years. We're moving from Austin, Texas, where we live now, to Denver, Colorado. And he just left full time dentistry to jump into the entrepreneurial space. So we are navigating a whole new terrain we've never been in before, which is all sorts of crazy in good ways and in, you know, kind of anxiety inducing ways. And then also coming out of a grief season, which I think is really important to talk about. And something I know you can connect with is that my fiance Sina lost his dad six months ago. And what I've learned recently and I think is really important for all of us to remember, is that you can hold two emotions simultaneously, like a really tough season, while also being so excited it feels confusing in your body. And for me it has brought up a lot of anxiety. But it's also been such a beautiful experience to really have the full contrast of being a human, of the super high highs and the low lows where you know you are on your bathroom floor with snot and mascara getting together in your mouth because you just don't think that you can do it anymore. And you're pulling yourself back up and you're like, this is the season that is character and grit and resilience building. And it doesn't come. All those characteristics don't come if it's rainbows, butterflies and happy little unicorns coming out of your butt all the time. Like, let's be real. So I'm navigating that in my personal life and getting to help a lot of women, which is just a beautiful season to be in now.

Oh God, I love your story and I love that you just shared that because I think that that is a lot of. It's pretty much the name of the game, especially as a female entrepreneur. And I don't want to generalize, but I've talked to a lot of women and I am a woman. So with that said, you said holding those two emotions simultaneously, I feel like that is my everyday. Yeah, if I'm being honest, that has been the name of the game for me, is trying to figure out how to focus on the joy and build a business and stay excited while also dealing with all of the shit and all of the fires that come with having a business. And I think that I don't think it was talked about enough even when I started businesses, because I thought that I was doing it wrong or that I wasn't strong enough or like, how are people emotionally doing this? And when you start to focus and know that Which I think is so important. And I'm sure we'll chat about this throughout the podcast. But every single day is hard. Every single day will bring a challenge. And it's not just from your business. It's just life in general is. Being a human is challenging. So how have you learned to compartmentalize the back and forth before we dive into, really, you know, what we're gonna talk about today? How have you learned to do this? Because it seems like you can be really focused.

I'm really good at taking inventory of the thoughts that I'm thinking and questioning the beliefs if they're conducive to getting me where I wanna go or if they're beliefs that I've adopted from somebody else that don't work for me. And every time I'm starting something new when especially women that are building businesses or they're chasing career goals or there's do they're they're parents for the first time. Like, you don't know what you're doing the first time that you're doing anything. So I'm very cautious not to confuse inexperience with inability because I know that when I start anything new, I'm gonna suck and then I'm gonna suck a little less and then I'm gonna maybe get good if I keep putting my reps in and if I really keep showing up with like my full heart and umph. And I'm navigating those highs and lows, the ones that come in the same hour some days that I could get great, anyone could. And it's almost like gifting yourself the permission slip to say when it's tough at the beginning of any new journey not to tell myself that just because I'm experiencing resistance that I can't handle it or that it's the wrong path. But instead that's what you're needing to actually sustain when you get there. And it's so interesting because so many women, you know, I help a lot of podcasters, Gail, and they're like, keisha. Like, I've asked them before on live calls. Like, would you love it if you had 1 million downloads on your podcast this month alone? And these are brand new podcasters and the whole chat is like, me, me, me. Yeah, like I would love it. And I'm like, that's so interesting. Because could you actually handle it yet?

Yeah.

Because with that many ears listening in is also that many people that aren't gonna vibe with you. Right. Can you. Do you actually have the coping mechanisms and the Habits and the skills to support yourself, to sustain what you actually want now. And most of the time you don't. Right. So I'm getting really good at asking myself really powerful questions when I see a massive space between where I am now and where I want to go. And instead of labeling it as overwhelming or daunting or how am I ever going to get there, or, oh, she can do this, but I can't do this. Instead I'm like, I need this time. This is my qualification period. So when I get where I want to go, everything doesn't spontaneously combust. And I look back at the path that I took towards getting there and I'm like, damn, that was worth it because I learned so much. So that is kind of how I'm juggling it all is like I'm reminding myself that every single season serves me and it's needed to build the skills so I can actually manage where I want to go. And I don't want it quicker.

So good. Oh, my goodness. And not wanting it quicker also creates a detachment which creates it to come a little quicker.

Yeah. So ironic.

It's so ironic. I love that you said the qualification season. I cannot stress this enough to everybody listening. You know, we look at people and we want it so bad. And oftentimes that's what blocks us because that stops us from doing the work. And we start to believe, like, Keisha has something that I don't. And, you know, maybe she's just a little more magical or enthusiastic or maybe she has more energy than me or she doesn't have this or doesn't have. You know, she's not dealing with X, Y and Z. Everybody is dealing with their own version of something. And the qualification period is so incredibly important because I have had a few friends who have, like, gone viral overnight. And let me tell you, looking back, I am so grateful that did not happen to me because I would not have been able to, you know, I'm sure that we learn it. I don't want this to be your biggest fear. Like, all of a sudden now people are like, ah, like, pushing success away. But I have some serious gratitude in the fact that some things took me a really long time. Like, I actually compared to a lot of people, my journey has been going on a long time. It's taken a long time to get certain things. And with that said, I can now. What's the Steve Jobs quote? You can't connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect the dots looking backward. I'm like, thank you for Almost protecting me because I was not ready. I was not qualified yet. I was not ready to handle what comes with all of that. So that's a really beautiful thought. It gets you more present in what you're doing and remembering to celebrate where you are at because it's so powerful and not just where you're at. Keisha. I know, like, this is such a good topic for us to talk about too, but sometimes we want to reach for, like, these mentors who have been, like, in front of us for so long and they have all of this success, and we're wondering, like, why this person isn't saying yes to me yet or why this isn't happening or why this friend group isn't happening for me yet. And it's like we have the people who we want to build with, like, all around us, like, literally right next to us. Like, look at the people on the path as, like, same path as you right now. Of course it's important to reach up, but also reach. I was going to say reach around.

But, you know, reach round, reach out, wherever you got to reach, you got to reach.

Start reaching. You know, we like to throw dirty jokes in here.

It's great. Well, but I mean, think how many women you see that call, like, you know, they've got a podcast or they've got a business, or they've got something that they really care about and they're working really hard on, and they call it this, like, little podcast or this little side thing, and they diminish it when instead if it's like, you own it. And I'm not saying fake it till you make it, because I think that feels really incongruent in your body, but it's kind of like acting. Act as if. So you can embody becoming the person who can accomplish that, and that person is going to lead with it. My podcast, I would be like, I'm a podcaster. And I had just started. I was like, I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. But, like, you should check out my podcast. I'd be asking, like, Uber drivers, do you want to leave a five star review on my show what's up girl? You know, But. But truly, it's like, I think that's something that we do. And unfortunately, we're socialized, especially as women, to want to just, like, play smaller because we're afraid that someone's not going to like us if we shine our light brighter. But it's like, what if you just decided that it's your responsibility as a human being to step into what you feel called to do so you can be living, breathing proof of what's possible for another person because it's so damn hard to be what you can't see. You know, like Lori, you're that to me, right? Like, look what you've done with your podcast. And it's turned into a community and events and you've got to inspire and empower so many women and now you get to launch this massive company. And it's like, I need to see someone who's a few steps ahead of me to say, like, if she can do it, I sure as hell yes, totally. And someone needs to see me do that. It's like this chain that we're creating, like taking your hand and, you know, passing it back to the next woman and saying, let's go. And I think we need to own that more as women and just be more unapologetic about it.

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I totally agree. I think your superpower, especially as I've been building light pink and I've been, you know, all of a sudden, like these themes start coming through as you're doing something new and as I'm kind of speaking about what I'm doing, there's a couple of themes coming through and one of them is your superpower in the beginning of anything is your vulnerability. And we know that that's the truth in relationships as well. But my superpower on calls with, you know, these calls that I get, these opportunities for, maybe they're 10 minutes with somebody who I have no idea how I got the opportunity. Well, I do. I asked a lot. I begged, I asked, I.

A lot of people said no and ghosted you.

And then close to a restraining order, it's totally fine. But getting on these calls and instead of thinking, like, we spend so much time trying to sound smart and like we know what we're talking about when honestly, my superpower on this podcast has been like, tell me more or oh God, I stumbled and I'm not gonna edit that. Or like, I really don't edit this podcast. And the vulnerability has been like, if I can do this, you can do it too. Like, I got a math problem totally wrong on a huge call yesterday. And I was like, see if I can do this. You could do this too. Like, I can't add. So vulnerability. And that's what I see with you is it's like, this is where we're at. Because you can't go to where you wanna go without first saying where you're at. No one can help you. Keisha, that would be like you getting on a call with me and being like, hey, Laurie, I'd love to ask you a few questions. I'm like, okay, Keisha, tell me where you're at. And you didn't actually tell me where you were at. And I'd be like, I can't help you because you're already like, I don't have anything to tell you. You're already doing great. Like, you have.

You don't feel compelled to want to either, right?

Totally.

It's so interesting because we get into this, like, analysis paralysis. Like, am I ready? Am I qualified to do it? Should I call my shot? When. In reality, when I started my podcast and when you started yours, it was this, come with me. Let's figure this out together, rather than a look at me. I've got it all figured out. And that's how you don't have impost syndrome. You're not faking it. Right. Like, I remember starting my podcast, I was like, I feel so confused about what the hell I'm doing with my life. I'll just put it on a mic, and then I'll Google I'm lost. Who wrote a book about this? So I can bring them on my show and ask them their perspective. And I think a lot of people can take that advice that we often want to create behind closed doors, and then we want to sell it and pretend like it's quote, unquote, perfect, thinking that that's going to have other people not judging us. But in reality, it's like, perfect is completely up to interpretation, and no matter what you do, somebody's going to have something to say. So what if you just decided that starting right now and bringing people along for the ride and being more transparent and less like your shit is all together is actually going to be the thing that people are going to say. She gets me pulling the curtain back and being like, I feel like she's my friend. I want to root for her. You create that rootability, too. And a lot of us are. Are waiting till it's perfect. And we're missing out on that. Right. That co creation. So good.

So I think a big takeaway already from this podcast from you is even if you just shifted right now, did one thing from this podcast and looked at your brand and the things that you want to do in the future and just said, what if I looked at everything through the lens of come with me rather than look at me. Right. And it's okay to realize that you have a look at me brand or think that you need to have one, which is very like, I'm going to tell you the science of everything that I don't understand.

Yeah. There's a time and place for experts, but it's like sometimes I think it's like if. If you don't see it represented the way that you want it to be, then maybe it's because you're supposed to be the representation.

Yes.

And I didn't see a ton of women in this space. You know, only 20% of all podcasters are women. So, like, I didn't see a lot of women, first and foremost. But secondly, I didn't see women that were outside of you and a few others that were saying, like, come with me, let's figure this out. It felt like it was people that were a ton of steps ahead telling you how they got through it in hindsight. Right. Like you said, Steve Jobs, like connecting the dots, looking backwards, which is helpful and important and needed if that's your story and your brand. But there are some people that are telling themselves that they can't do it because they don't know how. Well, pull back the curtain and go and share along the way. I bet you you're going to build a massive community that you had no idea would connect with you even more because of that.

Oh, my God, I love this. So, you guys, I'm already going to plant the seed that Keisha and I are going to do a podcast strictly on starting a podcast and scaling your podcast. So even if you have one already, how to scale your podcast, and if you don't have to really think about having one, because it's been one of my greatest gifts of all time. So let's talk about this theory of good to great, because we had chatted right before this. I'm gonna let you roll in a second. But it is a place where, you know, I'm getting asked a lot, what were some of the biggest things that happened in your life that really made you take action and change? And I'm like, number one, you Know, in the beginning, it was because I had to. You know what I mean? My back was against the wall. And now that I've progressed forward and gone through that and gone through the depths of hell and back and losing everything and rebuilding and all of that stuff, it's like, now I really like my life. I've liked my life for a really long time. And it has been a challenge to get motivated and pivot and figure out what is next. And, you know, I want more, but at the same time, getting motivated to go for more. So tell me a little bit about that, because I don't feel guilty. I've worked through all that about wanting more and having more purpose and more impact, but that has been a challenge to get motivated. So let's talk about. Talk all about what that looks like. Like, getting motivated, staying motivated throughout. What gets you to break through all that fun stuff. So good to great.

Yeah, it's interesting because my story, I actually felt like my story wasn't inspiring enough to ever build a brand or a podcast around because I didn't have a back against the wall moment. I never have been in massive debt. I went to college, I got the corporate job, I started climbing up the ladder. I had great managers, great career trajectory. Some people are like, keisha, wow. But it was weird because I felt like I was always uncomfortable internally, like I was in the wrong lane. But because we become, you know, a byproduct of the expectations of our peer group, all of my girlfriends from college, my now fiance, like, they were doing the same path. I just thought that was what was normal. And I was actually in a better situation than a lot of them. So part of it was I did feel guilty that I wanted more. And I have two works through that. But I think that's what comes up a lot for people.

Yes.

And then I realized, wait a second, I need to try something on the side. I just need to entertain this idea that maybe there's something else that could add even more fulfillment to my life. Because I decided to believe that if I'm gifted this, like, gut, uncomfortable gut feeling that I want to, like, smoosh down and like, just, like, hit away, like, whack a mole style. Like, if I want to get that out, maybe it's actually to serve me. What if I just entertained the idea that this discomfort, even though I'm in what a lot of people, you know, on paper would say is quote unquote, great. What if this discomfort actually meant that I'm supposed to. To take action?

Yes.

And what happened was, first I started in network marketing. I started a business doing that. And a lot of women connected with what I said. I was like, do you feel like your story is not super inspiring, but you still have this internal, like, visceral feeling in your body that you want more? And I started to just zone in on speaking to that particular type of woman, which built a brand and built a community and really started to get things going in that direction because I decided that I am living, breathing proof of what's possible for other people. Which means there are definitely women right now with whatever your story for. For the woman listening into this, whatever your story is, your circumstances, your two kids, and you're this life, and you're. Whatever you're navigating through your marriage, it doesn't matter. There is someone who needs to see someone in your exact circumstances, take your version of good or even someone else's version of great, move through that discomfort, be honest about it, pull back the curtain and be transparent. Yes. And go for whatever the hell you want to do because she's not seeing other people talk about it. So if your gift is actually this discomfort and you reframe and maybe even just try on this idea for size of, like, maybe this is in me for a reason, and you take action on it, you're going to see how much fulfillment and joy comes from it. And how many people are like, oh, my gosh, like, you get me. I thought I was alone. And as humans, like, we are designed to want to be in community. Like, we don't want to feel like we're alone. And now more than ever, we want that connection. So what if you just decided that was part of your gift here was whatever vision you have for yourself isn't going to look like your sister or your best friend or that mom in the PTA with you. I don't know anything about the PTA mom, but you know what I mean? Like, whatever. Like, whatever that is, like, it's not going to look the same. But your gift back to the world is to figure out how to get out of your own damn way and actually build that life. And I decided that early on where I was like, I'm not going to pretend like, I'm happy with this even if other people don't get it. I'm not. I'm not fulfilled by this. So I need to make a change and go for great. And when I've reached that level in certain parts of, like, whether it's my relationship or business or you reach that upper Limit where you're like, holy crap, I actually did a lot of things that I wanted to do. And I mean, I can only imagine your level, but every single person has their version of that, right? Where then all of a sudden I'm like, how can I get myself to keep taking action? And I like to think of the concept of, like, benefit extension. Who's going to benefit as a byproduct of me going for this? Who's going to be hurt if I don't? And I have to play it out on both sides of the spectrum to a point that I'm actually emotional, where I'm like, gosh, like, how good could this get? How could be showing up using the gifts that I've been given, including the problems that I've been gifted, that I've had to work through and learn those skills, you know, that I learned through only going through those problems. I would have never learned them otherwise, right? How can that serve more women that need to see someone like me? And then what if it all went away? How can I maintain this desire to want to keep going, play it out to the worst case scenario? And that toggle between that and then this relationship between myself now and a future version of me one year from now, I toggle between that relationship as well, right? So it's one part is, how good could it get? Who's going to benefit as a byproduct? And then I think about me. Even a year from now, we're thinking about wanting to have kids. And it's like, I know that I'm going to tell my future kids that they can do whatever the hell they want in this world. I want to be living, breathing proof of what's possible. I want them to be able to look at me and be like, mom, I know I can. I watched you not. You told me that I could, but I literally watched you. And you're doing it right? So it's like, in your words, it would be like manufacturing a pain point, right? And I'm sure we can dive into that. But it's like, to me, I'm like, who can you tie into this vision that if you don't show up for it, they're gonna miss out. I'm not doing that to my future hypothetical kids. I'm not doing that to the women that feel the same way that I felt when I was working at Google and everything made sense and people were like, you have the dream job. And I was like, why do I feel crazy? Why am I crying saying, there's something wrong with me because there's other women that needed to hear that story too.

Hey, I'm so proud of you.

You.

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I feel that exact same way. Like your vision is not big enough until you tie people into it. It's not big enough to number one.

It's.

It's not big enough, but it's not big enough to keep you motivated. It's not big enough to pull you through to the place where you bring it to reality. It's too easy. Things get too hard. If nobody's involved, you'll quit. You just will. That's the one thing I've learned is that if I don't get people involved, if I don't tell people, if I don't start kind of like you said, telling whomever Leading with it. It's not gonna happen because that's my little secret that nobody knows. If I give up on it, there's been too many of those. And then I get that feeling of, what's wrong with me, why I'm unhappy? Because you have this idea that you know is going to be great, that somebody needs. It's not selfish. It's literally, oh, my gosh, I have so many theories on that. But we're not going to go. We're not going to go to the theory of why.

But okay, but it. It helps you go from that, like, interested in it to committed. Right? Like, if you're interested, you're going to do it when it's convenient. You're going to show up like, you know, because everything's good. Like, yeah, maybe I'll show up on social media, Maybe I'll chase that thing. Maybe I'll have that tough conversation. But when you've made that decision, like, line in the sand. This is my demarcation line. Like, I have made a decision, I'm going for it. Then you have to have people that you actually care about that are part of it, that you're actually tying part of your vision to them too. Because a lot of times we have this, like, I want to help women, which feels really good, and that's a great mission. But I'm like, I deeply care about making sure that my fiance has as many opportunities as he can possibly have and that we can employ people that we really care about. And, you know, things like that, that it's like, when it's people that are close to you, like you said, you know, working with your family, that makes a big difference. Right. Stuff like that. That I think about getting more skin in the game.

So true. I think one of the biggest things for me with Light Pink was number one, especially my founding employees. Like, I want them to retire when this sells millionaires. Like, I absolutely want to create an incredible workplace and I want them to be abundantly blessed beyond because of all the time and love that they put into the company as well. That's a huge why for me. And then another why, you know, some people are like, I don't wanna start a company or by raising money, or a lot of people don't like raising money. A lot of people do love raising money. For me, it's one of the things that pulls me out of bed no matter what, because I have a vision of making millionaires from my company and I can't promise anything. Obviously, it's a startup you can't promise anything. It's a super risky investment. But that is my vision. That. That pulls me when things get really, really hard to keep the vision going. And if, honestly, if I didn't have investors, I just feel like last year was one of the hardest years of my entire life. I don't know if I would have kept going. I really, really think I might have stopped. And it was all of those people and the vision that I held for. I have to do this so they know that they can do it too. And because of what I want to do with it. Otherwise, Keisha, I think I would have quit. I literally think I would have stopped. And I'm just being so honest there. So I have a question for you on ambitious women listening to this podcast. People who are at the place where they wanna start something, but they feel guilty about it. Cause they have a great life. And you know this question of sometimes the people that we love the most can ask this question, and it feels really, really awful. When is enough enough for you? Why can't you just be happy? What do you say when you hear that question?

It's interesting because it has to be an internal dialogue where you've built up that confidence in yourself and your belief. Like, I think of confidence like a bucket. Every single day that you show up and keep a promise to yourself, it's like you're putting a deposit into your bucket. Like, right? So when Sally Sue293 on Instagram doesn't like your business idea, it feels like somebody smacks this out of your bucket and some sloshes out. And your aunt thinks your idea to move to that state is stupid, and it sloshes some of your confidence out. Because you're human, not a robot. So you do care what people think. And I think that we should normalize that. Like, you can't just say, screw everybody else, like, we're humans. But it's reminding myself that, like, there's still, to this day, I've never had anyone who's actually living the life that I want to be living in. The area in which they're giving me advice on that's telling me that I shouldn't go for it. And I will tell you, Lori, full transparency. When Cena left dentistry six months ago, all of our friends that weren't in the entrepreneurial space, besides a couple, were like, oh, my gosh. But he invested so much time into it. Like, is that a good idea? Every single one of our entrepreneurial friends said, congratulations. Holy crap, you're going for it. Look at you. Like, I'm so proud of you. I'm so excited for you. Because the lens, it's reminding yourself the lens at which they're coming from is they can only give advice from their experience. And we sometimes interpret it as they're not supportive or they don't understand me. And then we try and ostracize them. And I don't think that's necessarily the first place we have to go to. We just have to remind ourselves. Of course they can't give advice about something they've never done. But you can be curious about people's perspective, but you still can only take advice from people that are living lives that you want to actually be living. And you can remind yourself of that day in, day out that it's your job to believe in yourself. Anybody else is just sprinkles on top of the cake. So that conversation has come up so many times for me of like, but like, aren't you just happy? Like, you have so many things on paper. I'm like, I believe that I'm gifted a vision. It doesn't have to look like yours. I'm super supportive of your vision. Right. And making sure that you're asking yourself that question too. We want people to support us, but are we supporting them? Are you supporting your friends that their dream was to be a stay at home mom and be the best freaking mom ever and bake cookies out the wazoo and be actively involved in their kids classrooms and you're mad that they're not supporting your business? Well, are you asking them what they care about? It's like being the type of friend that you want to be. And honestly, I've even felt this way with my own parents where like, I'm so much more interested in their lives because I want them to be excited for me. And I'm like, I want to make sure I'm excited about what you're excited about.

So true.

And that's been a big shift. So it's like being the person that shows up for people the way that you want them to show up for you and then recognizing at the end of the day, anyone who's telling you that you can't do it is coming from their own limitations and their own perspective and they might not even be malicious. So let's assume that it's coming from a good place and when you know it's not, then it's your job to create some real, real good boundaries, some real harsh boundaries. Right.

So true. And I think what you're talking about is just like so much compassion for people and knowing where they actually are. That is like one of the most powerful things for me is even when I get somebody who is like horrendous, I'm like, okay, let's just think about what all of this could be. And sometimes it's just even like if you're doing it, what does that mean for their life? Sometimes people can't handle that answer because you're pushing through the same type of thing that they're not willing to look at or they believe that they are isolated in this trauma or occurrence that they're in. What does that mean? Some people are not able to wrap their brains around the fact of taking responsibility for their life. I don't know if it's their lifetime to do it, depending on what you believe. And for me that's actually been really freeing. Saying this may not be their lifetime to have the self awareness or the freedom to think the way that I do, which has freed me up to have compassion for people and then it makes me have compassion for them because those people are hurting and you know, that's their only way to make their life okay, is to do whatever it is that they're doing to you. So I wanna know from you, you talked a little bit about, you weren't used to dealing with the emotion of anx. And I think it's a fairly normal emotion, like for a lot of people in business. In fact, the women in business, their biggest thing is fear of not being loved and like just the anxiety of the pressure or it being too much or overwhelm.

Right.

Just because of how our brains work too. And we are just always thinking of a million things and juggling a million things. It's like a bit of learning how to compartmentalize as well and let fires burn in the background. So when you talk about anxiety, can you share a little bit about what that feels like and how you've been.

Managing that it was so bad recently. What's interesting is with grief that people don't talk about which grief can come from change. Not just loss, but change. Massive amounts of change where you're like, even if you know it was the right decision, it's still new thought patterns and it's a new normal. And your brain's not wired for new thought patterns. So you kind of like. And your body's all like confused, used, or even like a lot of good stuff. We've got a lot of amazing things happening in our life, but it's like so Many freaking tabs open in my brain. It feels like squirrels are like raving in my head sometimes. I'm like, oh, my gosh. Right? So how it actually felt was I was sitting in bed one night and I had all of these thoughts that were coming up and it was like I was spiraling. As in, like, what if this does? Normally I default to the thought pattern of like, this is going to work out. Let me look for all the ways that I can handle this. Let me look for all of the good. Because whatever you look for, you're going to find, right? Yeah, look for the good stuff. But I was almost like just being a human going through anxiety of looking for all of the negative things that were coming up and how I didn't believe that I could handle it and all of the things that could go wrong. And it turned into this, like, spiral down where I then was starting to think about if I could have an aneurysm, which is so random. And then I'm googling. Just so you know, it's like, it's like 0.0001% that you will die from an aneurysm. So just so you know, I googled it when I was like 3 o' clock in the morning and I couldn't sleep.

Accurate.

And I had to catch myself. And I was like, okay, here's what I need to do. Pen to paper, let me write out every single thing. And I'm not going to judge myself by what I'm writing out. I'm going to write out every single thought that's coming up. Even the crazy things that I'm really worried about that seem totally irrational. No judgment, pen to paper. And then I individually went through each line item and I was like, play it out to the worst case scenario. What do you have already from a skill set, from resources, from people, how could you handle the absolute worst case scenario? And I compartmentalized, went through every single item, and it took me about an hour. And it was so freaking worth it. Cleared my schedule of the things that didn't need to get done. Asked myself, what am I doing that doesn't have to get done by me? How can I ask for help? Who can I be more transparent with this? About to give myself the emotional support. But once I went to that worst case scenario for each of those, I was like, even the worst case scenario, I'm not gonna die. Like, I can handle that. I mean, because I checked on the aneurysm thing, I won't die for that, right? So I'M like, I went through all of those, and I was like, I can handle it. So I think sometimes it's like, it's a very tactical tool of, like, getting really conscious about catching those thoughts and saying, like, is this thought serving me? And if it's not, let's bump it up to a neutral. Right? Like, a lot of this, like, affirmation talk is, like, go from I can't handle it to I'm Beyonce, I can take over the world. And I'm like, let's just bump to, like, a neutral of, like, maybe I actually can handle it. Maybe I'm learning as I go. Maybe I'm getting better every single day and moving it to those neutral thoughts, even when you catch them. And just becoming more conscious is the biggest thing that's been helpful for me. And then meditating, I always wrote off meditating. I was like, other people meditate. I'm fine. I started meditating, and it changed the whole game. So if you've been thinking about it for a while, just, like, download an app and start meditating. Is that what you do? Tell. Well, people are going to want to.

Know what you do now, so tell.

Us what you do. Yes, I do. Calm app and you can get. Matthew McConaughey will, like, read you a sleep story.

And I'm just saying, okay, love this. We know your. Your medit and calm is absolutely amazing. Love them as well. Okay, talk to me about uncertainty. So I really believe it is, you know, doing business and growing in general, becoming the woman that you are put here to be following your dreams is going to require you sitting with a level of uncertainty. And as you grow, that level of uncertainty will get larger because you'll be taking larger risks. What do you do to support yourself mentally, emotionally, physically in your business, in your life, around taking bigger risks?

Environment is absolutely everything, obviously, in your head. And then the people that I'm around, I'm very intentional about the people and how I feel when I'm with them. If I feel as if I can be a fully expressed version of me, I'm going to do it regardless. But do I feel good about it? And then how do I feel when I leave them? Is my energy higher or is my energy depleted? And I take inventory constantly of just the people that are around me, and then I really am conscious of the thoughts that I'm thinking throughout the day. And sometimes I'll even jot down in the note section of my phone of, like, what are the common thoughts or questions that are popping up in my head so I can make sure that I can tackle them one by one. And I like to habit stack like tiny little things that I'm already doing because I've tried like massive morning routines and like setting these like really aggressive goals. I'm like, I'm doing this like three hour morning routine. I'm like, no way in the hell am I going to do that. So I stack with things I already do. Like, you know when you're brushing your teeth, you already know you're gonna brush your teeth in the morning, at night, in the morning. I'm priming my brain thinking about what I'm excited about for the day the entire time that I'm brushing my teeth. Like, what can I get excited about? Looking for all of the things that I'm excited at the end of the day when I'm brushing my teeth, I'm thinking about what am I proud of myself for. Not the carefully curated content type milestones like, oh, I got this. This many downloads or I sold this or I had this. No, but like I handled that tough conversation in a really well, I apologized because I valued this relationship more than my ego. I came into this more prepared than I would have. I was more strategic here. I thought through this. Like things like that I'm having this self talk and it's daily because it's something that I'm all, I never am going to bed without brushing my teeth and I'm definitely not waking up in the morning going throughout my life. So it's finding those things to kind of of have that in your day to day life. And then anytime an idea comes up for me, I challenge myself to say like, is this a right now or is this something that is definitely a hell yes. But it needs to be done later because I'm sure, I know you could connect to this, Lori, but like in.

A lot of pain.

800 popcorn ideas everywhere. Which is a beautiful gift to the world to have that type of mind. But you don't want to be like the Cheesecake Factory menu, no offense to Cheesecake Factory, but like you have 800 things on it. There's no way you can do that many things that good. Right? Right. Plus all the ads in the middle, like I can't even. But point is, you know, it's like reminding yourself like when is the right time to actually do it and then saying if it is the right time, which, you know, if it's the right time to do it and you're trying to talk yourself out of it, then it's saying, what can I do in the next 24 hours to take action on this idea so that you can get a dopamine hit, right? Maybe you've got an idea. You want to write a book. Book. Unless you're some sort of magician, you're not going to write a book in a day. Like, you can talk about that more than I can, but you can call your shot and tell someone that's going to hold you accountable to it. You can announce that you're going to start a podcast. You can sign up for that marathon. You can't probably run it tomorrow unless you're a ninja, but you can probably. You can sign up for one, right? So what can you do to get yourself like that skin in the game? Because as humans, we love that progress so much. So how can we get that? That's been super helpful for me when I feel uncertain because that wishy washy gray area indecision is still a decision. So it's like very overwhelming. So I am just like, let me take this off my plate and just make decisions more quickly and then push things off and tell myself it doesn't mean that it's not a good idea. It could be a great idea, but it's not the idea for right now, and that's okay.

Oh, I love that so much. I wish I would have learned that sooner, but here I am with the belief in the reframe that has helped me, right? I'm like, well, that was the journey I had to go on. I had to make myself actually physically, physically ill and anxious and feel like I was gonna die in order to understand how important saying no is and getting clear and how we really only have a finite amount of energy every single day. So you need to get really clear on what is right now. And everything sounds so good, so fun. That's my problem is I'm like, I wanna collaborate with her and do this and do that and do this event and do. Except I literally cannot. And then I know that I will implode something that I started doing. You know, it's one thing to like, hear me say how powerful no is, but something that actually helps me say no was to anything I'm asked, unless I actually feel it in my body that it's a hell yes for me. And I'm not doing it out of people pleasing. I'm not doing it out of. That could really grow my brand. I'm not doing it from a place of like, desperate or whatever that looks like. I give myself like a couple days up to a week. Because what ends up happening is, like a weekend. If I decide, like, oh, my God, yes, I want to do that event with you a week later, I'm like, what was I thinking? I have zero time. I can't even complete what needs to be done right now. So it's now a no. But sometimes we can't tell that. So if, you know, you're that type of decision maker where you get real excited, maybe give yourself a little bit of time.

Yeah, yeah. My fiance was like, keishe, you have to implement something because you are saying yes. Like, yes, I want to invest in your company. Like, wait, hold on. I don't even know what I'm doing. I'm just so excited. And you mean well. When you're in it for anyone that can connect with this, that has that type of personality, it's not that you don't want to follow through, it's just you're so excited, but it's like taking inventory. Like. Like when you're saying yes to this, you are saying no to something else. Are you. Are you comfortable with saying no to that thing?

Yeah, totally. Well, how about we wrap up with anything that's on your heart that you want to share with people who are kind of along this theme of good to great?

I think I just want to remind you that you could look to your track record of all of the things that happened that you didn't think that you could navigate, but here you are, like, on the other side, like, you did get through it. And I think we get really caught up in the how. But in reality, it's like, if you've got something that you want to do, you're really just going to have to trust that you're going to build up the skills that you need along the way, that if you're unapologetic and open, that you might have opportunities that come in packages that you did not expect them to come in, that you might really just need to follow your own intuition. And coming from following your own intuition means you might then have to question your beliefs, might have to question the thoughts that you've been thinking for so long that they turned into beliefs. And you might have to say, if someone else can do this, why am I telling myself that she has something that I don't? And it's coming from your own thought, like, of who you believe that you are to be so at the root of everything, in pursuit of all the big dreams and all of the big goals. What I really focus on is confidence. Building, right? Every single day you show up and keep a promise to yourself, that's literally building up your confidence. So you can remind yourself that when you're in a season of life where the circumstances are really new to you or they're very overwhelming or you're navigating something super tough, that you can build up confidence that's going to be supportive for you in this season because it might look different than another season, right? Like, we talk a lot about, like, comparing ourselves to other people, but what I've actually struggled with more, to be honest, is comparing myself to a prior version of myself when the circumstances were different, right? Like leaving Google, where I was like, on the top of my game, and I was like, I know what I'm doing. Like, I can crush this. And then going into, like, being a business owner, being like, holy shit, I have no idea what I'm doing or leaving, you know, walking away from a network marketing business when I was at speaking to thousands of people and getting to all these cool things, and then being in this season where I'm like, oh, I have to suck again. I have to be at the bottom, and I don't know what the hell I'm doing again. So reminding yourself that you are capable, you've got through everything you've ever got through in the past. You can handle this. You will figure this out. But you don't have to dismiss this stage that you're in where you're trying to just figure it out as you not being worthy or you not being, you know, just able to get where you want to go. It's just going back to confidence. What can I do today to move the needle forward? What can I do today that's going to help me build belief in myself so that no matter what life throws me, no matter what season I find myself in, I believe that I can figure it out. That's all.

Oh, my gosh. It's literally everything. If you're looking for a secret formula, that's all it is. It's how to build confidence within yourself in these little wins. To be able to take that next risk, to be able to ask that next person for help, to be able to find that person with the skill set that you are missing. It's crazy because I know how it works now, which is why I keep. I understand how this process works. I understand that right now with Light Pink Keisha, I feel crazy some days, and it's okay because I know that I'm not meant to see all of the things that I Think I need right now, because I don't actually need them right now. I need them in the future. That's what I have to do all the time. What do I actually need right now to support myself? And what does the business need right now to move forward? And they're actually very small needs, when you look at it in terms of the present tense. And that's where we get overwhelmed, is we keep looking at the future of what we're gonna need for people we don't have in the business yet. Like, you don't have that many followers. You don't need all those things yet. Like, be glad about that. Like, start building on that. That goes back to the original conversation. Right. But I'm so grateful for you for really breaking this down. You are one of those people who just brings people with them, and I love it. I love how open and vulnerable you are because that is the place where people can learn. And that's why you are such a good teacher. Speaking of being one of the most amazing, vulnerable, incredible teachers, you are putting on an event and I am so incredibly excited about it. I would definitely. If you are listening and you felt connected to Kesha and what she was saying, I'm telling you, you're gonna wanna grab your tickets because this is going to be an extremely transformational, amazing, fun, incredible event where you are going to find people just like her because she's the magnet attracting all of these other amazing women. So can you tell me about the event where it is, all the deets?

Yeah. I am so excited about this because, I mean, you know better than anyone that's listening into this that's been to an event when you have people in the room that just get it. You just have to get in the room. You have to. It's so transformative. Like, listening to podcasts is so powerful, but getting to see squeeze someone and like, hug them in real life, it's. It's the next level. Yeah. So I'm really excited. It's the first event that I put together. It's gonna be hundreds of women. It's gonna be In Scottsdale, Arizona, October 21st, 22nd, 23rd. And I'm pumped. Yes, it will be really helpful for you if you're a podcaster and a business owner, but really, it's about, if you're a human, just trying to reach for that next level. We're gonna expose you to a ton of different, like, small group breakouts with workshops that are around self awareness, really just some cool connection things that you haven't really seen done in a little bit of a different way. It's gonna be fun and empowering powerhouse speakers, and I just can't wait to have people as part of it. So if you're interested in details, I would encourage you to text event to 512-548-2728. Again, event to 512-548-2722. And I give you all the deets and see if it would be a good fit because I'm just so, like. It's like, you know, when you're planning your first big event, you're like, I am gonna make this the most transformative experience. Like, I can't wait to have people there. I'm like, like, so freaking excited.

I am so excited for you. It's gonna be incredible. It's right in my backyard. I'm so excited about it. You guys definitely go and check it out. Text her. At least get on the list. If you just had, like, an inkling and a gut hit, get on the list. Keep it on your radar. But most of all, you know, if you listen to this podcast, events changed my life. Events always changed my life. It's the only reason I started doing an event was because I went to an event. It's the only reason I started podcasting. It's the only reason I wrote a book is because I went to different events where people help me work through all of the shit in my head that was blocking me from doing the things that I wanted. So each one gave me a nugget that helped propel my career forward. So I swear by events, I think that they're the best thing that you can possibly do for yourself. You know, coming from a network marketing background, too, if I wouldn't have went to events, I would have never made, you know, millions of dollars in network marketing, because it was the events that really help you see the people on stage and say, I can do that. If she can do that, I can do that too. And that's what an event is. And not just that, but it's going to help you have maximum accountability afterward because you're going to meet friends there who are going to hold you accountable. So. All right, I love that so much. You guys definitely go and check it out. And also go check out Keisha's podcast. Podcast Name one more time empower her podcast.

It's Monday, Thursday. Come check it out. Let me know if you guys like this episode. I love hearing feedback and everything too, so thank you so much. Lori, you are such a gift I'm so grateful for you paving the way for so many of us. Us that are coming after you. I just adore you. Thank you.

I'm just grateful for this super fun conversation and I can't wait for your event. So. Okay, you guys definitely let her know what your biggest takeaway was. You know that I love when you share this in your stories and give us both a tag. Keisha, what is your Instagram at K.

A C I A Dot Fitzgerald?

So give her a tag. Give me a tag. You know that I always share your stories and let her know that's like the best gift that you can ever give to somebody who came on. Let her know what your biggest takeaway was. Let her know what your impact was from this podcast. I'm telling you, we look at all of them. It feels really good to know who we're talking to. So that we know we should probably keep doing this. Okay.

Yes.

And until next time, you guys earn your happy. Bye, everyone.

Sam.