863. SUPPORT: What It Can Look & Feel Like, And When To Ask For It With My Best Friend, Lindsey Schwartz

Where can you invite more fun, more ease, more flow into your big goals? And how can you step back and say, how would I need to support myself around this to make it fun, to create a more condensed container where I can really show myself what I'm capable of? Because you're gonna use whatever timeframe you give yourself.

Oh, yeah.

And I'm more accountable when I'm doing it with someone else than I am to just setting that goal for my.

Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the show. It's time for another quickie, because there's always time to fit an inspiration, and I am not alone.

Today.

I have one of my besties on here, Lindsay Schwartz. And today we are talking all about how to better support yourself. Linds, why are we having this conversation?

Well, we have literally been having this conversation with ourselves between ourselves in the. We forgot how many days it's been. It's been, like, four days we've spent together consecutively. And as we talk through these things, we're literally living the exact view that we want to show everyone else of what it really looks like to support yourself around going after really big things and supporting yourself through sometimes really uncomfortable moments and decisions. And I think together are realizing more and more and more how. How much we don't want to do things alone.

Okay, so we want to talk about all of the ways that we have recently supported each other in ourselves and that maybe in the past, we would have not done. Why don't we just start with kind of even just what has recently happened when I ended up getting a speaking gig, and I was so excited about it, except I also haven't spoken on a really big stage for a while where it's just me. I got to speak at your event, which was amazing, but it was Q and A, and I'm very comfortable in Q and A. I'm very comfortable in that element, and I, like, thrive in it now. Keynote. I love it, but it also. It's one of the hardest things for me that I do is put together a talk and deliver it. So it's funny because I was thinking, oh, my gosh, should Chris come with me? Should I invite Lauren, my assistant? Like, I didn't want to go alone, because I know that I get really nervous. And it's funny because while, yes, I would have loved to turn it into a girls trip, I also was like, I don't want to bug her because I know that you're busy, and I know that, like, I don't know if that sounded fun. Like, can you Come, like, support me and, like, help me backstage and, like, do a bunch of stuff for me. And I was like, oh, I don't know if I should ask her that. And, yeah, I just didn't know. And how did that come up?

Well, I keep remembering back to one of the most fun trips we've ever had together was when I did invite myself along when you were speaking at Create and Cultivate.

Thank God you did.

And I said, who's going to be there to celebrate? This is a huge opportunity. Who's going to be there to make sure you celebrate this milestone? And so when you said you had, I was like, guess what? Hello. I'll give you a hint. Your name starts with Lindsay. But when you shared about this speaking engagement, I even had the thought. I was like, oh, if I can go, that'd be really cool. But what happened was we knew that our husbands were gonna be going away together. And you were like, why don't we turn this into a girls trip? Yes. And it was an easy yes.

So let's talk about that, because the moment that you said that, I had a feeling in my body where I was like, why didn't I ask her that? Because that's actually what I wanted. I even had the thought of, this could be a really fun girls trip. Like, it's in Dallas. We could book some really nice dinners. I always know that we're gonna drop a new incredible conversations. I know that you know what it's like to give keynotes. So, you know, sometimes I need space around it in the beginning. I need a little bit of quiet time. I'm probably gonna need to walk in the morning and have some, like, support around certain things. And it's that moment of looking at where we don't ask in our lives for the things that we actually want. I'm trying to figure out why I didn't ask you. I really think it was because I didn't want to be a burden. And that felt like a burden to ask you to come there and support me. And it's funny because when I switch roles, it sounds fun to me to go and do that with you as well. And so I think this is the first stop that I want to make for everybody is where could you reimagine. I know you love that word. Where could you reimagine a really supported, fun life or way of doing something that might really normally scare you or feel uncomfortable? And how can you give yourself extra support around that or turn it into something that can be multifaceted? Like, we had one of the best trips ever. I felt so supported. I had so much fun. I even, like from stage, was watching you, incorporated you into the talk a few times. It felt like it was just me and you talking. And I felt so grounded. I just felt like it was one of the best experiences that I've had speaking, because I made it fun. And, you know, speaking should be fun, right? So, like, why aren't we reimagining these things?

And I want to underline too, for everybody. What's the thought, the fear that's right there when you think of a way you do want to support yourself. And like you said, in this situation, not wanting to be a bother, Usually for me, these are things that are patterns. They show up over and over again. I don't want to bother someone. I don't want to overextend myself. I don't want to overstay my welcome or other people are busy. It's the thought that comes up right when you think about asking for help, asking for support, specifically around if you know, you want more supportive friendships in your life, what's the story you tell yourself about why you can't or what stops you from thinking that people would want to say yes? Because on the receiving end, I was so honored, so excited. It was the most expansive weekend for me for other reasons. We'll record another podcast. It really was something that you didn't even know the opportunity you were inviting me into.

That makes me so happy. And I was thinking, I was just trying to think of the things that could maybe stop somebody either from asking or from going. And I know that you and I have been having the conversation. And even for you, you were like, oh, well, sometimes I worry about. And hopefully you don't care. I'm sharing this, like, outshining people, that's like a fear of yours. And maybe for someone who is speaking, that could be an actual fear. Like, if I invite my friend, this weekend is really going to be kind of about me or, like, supporting me. How is that going to make them feel bad? You and I have had so many conversations that feel so freeing. Like, you have that feeling too. And what could that look like? And you know, I'm just thinking of when I get to go with you on different speaking things or when I am at your event, literally. I take it as cause you are the shiniest. You are the shiniest.

There you are.

And you should be. And it is like. And anyone who's been there knows, like, she's a standup comedian. And a transformational speaker all in one. And it's something to witness. And for me, like, I think it's that moment of when you see your friend and what is possible and the opportunities that your event opens up for me. And just like, oh, my gosh, there is so much that comes with not only being the person who can ask their friend to come and support, but being the support. There is always something there. There has never not been a miracle when I've been at your event or been able to speak there or been able to watch you or be backstage with. There's never not been a miracle for me, which hopefully this doesn't sound like, hey, yeah, do it. Because you know something's gonna happen, but something's gonna happen. Something is gonna be profoundly shifted. You're gonna learn something. You're going to witness something in your friend that is in you, that's gonna make you realize, like, you either want something or you wanna play bigger in a certain area, or there's so many gifts on each side. So I just wanna free anybody up who's listening the, like, maybe I don't want to do that because of this or whatever that looks like.

And we kept saying all weekend, why did we ever think we could or needed to do this alone? And it started to spill over and even into some other goals that we have. And I had shared with you a really big goal I have of not just finishing my second book this year, but I said specifically, I want to create it where it's really fun and I want to do a writing retreat. I'm going to take myself on a writing retreat. And we hesitated to even say this on the podcast because now it's recorded for everybody to hear, but we upped the ante a little bit. And I'll let you share what we're gonna do because what we want this to be is we wanna show everyone how fun and how supported these really big goals can be. Because it starts to actually demolish the timeframes. You think things have to happen in how they have to feel. And if you have to be lonely or not or do this on your own, there's parts of the journey you kind of do on your own, little parts of it, but it can be so much more supported than you think.

Okay, so she had said that kind of like taking yourself on a retreat and wanting to write this book, and a lot of the things around writing your book or writing a book, but specifically for you, it's like it could take a lot of time out of Certain things. And a lot of reason why books can feel daunting is they take so much time. And what could happen if you could collapse that story and, like, not do that?

And you shared with me something that radically shifted my mind about when you were finishing your book. This is important to share, too, that you wrote a bulk of it in a short number of days because you had to.

I wrote eight chapters in about a week because I was over deadline, and I had to. I was already over deadline and had asked for, like, this extra week because I had gone on a trip that was a very important trip. It was, like, a remarriage of really good friends at the time. And I almost couldn't not go, except I had kind of extended this book to this point. And another thing real quick, just to tell you what actually happened with that book, is I had written a whole book and thought I was ready, essentially, and then read it and threw that book in the trash and started over, like, and had less time. I told them, I'm like, no, I don't need a year. Just give me, like, four to six months, because I have this book already. And anyway, that's kind of where I was at. So with that said, I had to learn how to write eight chapters in one week, you guys.

That was the.

Pretty much almost the bulk of my book because it was the longer chapters of my book as well. And if you would have told me that in the beginning, because chapters were taking me months at that point, you know, like, it was taking a really long time. And so if you would have told me that, I would have thought it was impossible. But when you actually have to do it and you set this expectation, you get it done. And so what ended up happening is I had to learn how to do that. I invited someone in. I invited my really amazing friend Heidi in, who had helped me so much with editing and different things throughout my career. She was such an amazing assistant for us for a really long time. Helped out at the Bliss projects. And I called her, and it was literally a 91 1. I was like, heidi, I'm gonna pay for your trip. I need you to come out here and hold me accountable. I'm gonna write a chapter a day, and you're gonna edit it the next day. And then I'm gonna go back to anything in the morning for, like, an hour, fix it, and write another chapter that day. And this is what it's gonna look like. Do you think that you can be the person who can hold me accountable to this? And she was like, yes. And so I was like, I can't. Do not.

Let me not do this.

So we got on a schedule, we worked out, we wrote in different clumps, like what actually works for us. Okay, then we're gonna walk, then we're gonna write again, then we're gonna do this. We're not letting a day go by. Like, we're gonna finish everything that we say. So I ended up doing that. And then also I was calling on the memories of I was in a mastermind with a woman who wrote. I thought it was a day, but I remembered it was a week. She would write full romance novels in a week, all the time, every week. So she was putting these books out. She didn't have like super high sales on each book. But what would happen is she wrote so many that she ended up making this incredible seven figure career. And so I was like, wait a minute, this woman writes a book a week?

What are we doing?

She writes a book a week because she just doesn't have a story around it. No pun intended. She just doesn't have a story around, like, why she can't or what this needs to look like. Like she's not holding herself to. This needs to be her best life's work of all time. Because we all know that the things that impact people are different than we think they need anyway. And so that was the story that we started sharing is we said, okay, what would this look like? You and I, we set up that same kind of schedule that I had with Heidi where it was like, we are both writing like a chapter a day or more. And then we stay together and we go for our walks and we talk about it and do all the things. But we know that we're holding each other accountable to X amount of words or chapters per day. And we just wrote it in a week or 10 days. Like, what does that look like? And we both committed to it. Like, we fully believe that we can.

Do this, which is funny. We didn't realize. So that's not happening this week, to be clear. That's not happening right now. But we ended up creating this space where the guys trip is going on. I'm even staying at the house. We just sort of like recreated what this week is going to be like. And we're getting so much done within this structure and container of the. The workouts, the conversations that are supporting us around some really big things that we're looking to do. And so we set dates. We're gonna do this now, you know, and now I'm gonna vomit.

With the holidays and the new year coming, you probably are looking around your house thinking that you would love to upgrade and freshen up your environment. And there is no easier way to do that than with your window treatments. Nobody covers windows better than blinds.com blinds.com brings your space to life in your way. They have free design help. Other retailers may claim to have experts, but blinds.com has spent nearly 30 years building an award winning team of over a hundred design consultants that are ready to help you create your dream space. Always convenient, always tailored to you. Three ways to shop 1. Perfect fit Whether you want to DIY have it all done for you or you're somewhere in between, choose what works for you and rest easy knowing the fit is guaranteed. So the holidays come fast you guys, and you can freshen up your window treatments fast as well. And unlike some competitors, the price you see is the price you pay. No hidden fees and there's zero pressure. From blackout in motorized options to classic shutters, blinds.com has window treatments for every room, style and budget, even shades for your outdoor space. The Black Friday deals@blinds.com are going strong all month long, so don't miss your chance to save big. And as always, our listeners still get $50 off when you spend 500 or more. Just use code earn at checkout, limited time offer rules and restrictions apply. See blinds.com for details. 2026 is the year that you launch your business. It's the year that you've become the boss. You become the leader. That idea that you have that is been eating at you forever that just.

Will not leave you alone is going.

To come to life. Maybe it's something that someone tells you you should always sell or a store you've already designed in your head. And with Shopify, 2026 is when you.

Finally make it happen.

Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made this leap from household name to first time business owners. Just getting started you guys. I use Shopify for glossy and I remember when they sent me my little shopping bag celebrating my 10,000 sales and I literally cried because I was so.

Scared to take the leap.

And I'm so glad that I did.

And that I use Shopify.

It gives you all the tools to easily build your dream store. You can choose from hundreds of beautiful templates that you can customize to match your brand. Set up as fast with Shopify's best built in AI tools that write product descriptions and headlines and help you edit Photos. So marketing is built in, too. You can create email and social campaigns that reach customers wherever they scroll. So as you grow, Shopify grows with you. You can handle more orders, expand to new markets, and do it all from the Same dashboard in 2026. Stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling. Selling today at shopify.com happy. Go to shopify.com happy that's shopify.com happy. Hear your first Cha Ching this new year with Shopify by your side.

And I want to be clear, like, her and I have written a book. She has written a book before. I have written a book before. But I also, if you want your story to be your first book is written in a week, let that be your story. And I do think that us being able to say that is coming from a place of knowing what we put ourselves through in that first book and thinking that it needed to look a certain way and be a certain way. And you know, you are. It's your first book. It's kind of like, oh, my God, you think it's. It's just, you have different expectations. It's like your first event, and then you do your first event and you're like, okay, all those things I worried about, I'm not going to worry about now. So we do have that freedom of letting go of that wasn't worth worrying about. So now we're really free. We have a much better sense of freedom around it. And we also are older and more experienced, so we also probably have a lot more stories to pull from in this particular arena. We feel like we have a lot to say around certain things now. So we are coming from that place. But I think a lot of you have the same things that we have or you've done a lot before, you've done programs before, or you podcast and you can talk for hours and hours and hours. And honestly, I want to point out, like, that was something that really helped me with the fear around speaking on stage is I was like, lori, you have a podcast. You can literally turn the mic on and you've been able to speak for an hour, and you're afraid of, like, running out of things to say on a stage when the audience is giving you everything. So, yes, we're gonna do it.

And what we're doing is we're putting the goal out there to see who we become in the process. Unattached to what it means if the whole book doesn't get finished. Unattached to what it Means if the first manuscript of it sucks and we do start over, and that's the point, we want to reflect that, but we also want to give everyone listening permission that where can you invite more fun, more ease, more flow into your big goals? And how can you step back and say, how would I need to support myself around this to make it fun, to create a more condensed container where I can really show myself what I'm capable of? Because you're going to use whatever timeframe you give yourself.

Oh, yeah.

And I'm more accountable when I'm doing it with someone else than I am to just setting that goal for myself.

One million percent. And I have been wanting to write a book, but I have been telling myself I don't have time for it and it doesn't feel fun because I know I shared with you in the last book. It was like one of the loneliest things I've ever done was write a book. It was so isolating. It was so, like, I'd write and be like, is this stupid? Is this X, Y and Z? Like, we're going to write, have a walk, get out of our head. Because we'll probably share those things and then go back and write again and we won't be stuck in these places of like, this is lonely, this sucks. I'm not even sure about this. Where, okay, what is the support that you need? So that's the question over and over, is what could make the thing more fun that you want to do and what could you do to support the fears? Like just support all of the fears around it. Most of it is probably just a conversation with someone.

I'm just so grateful for the journey that has brought us to this point. And like you said, the first book that taught me a lot of the lessons to even be able to set this goal and know that it's going to be magical. But for you, for anyone listening, it is just noticing what idea, what big dream, what next goal was on your mind while you were listening to us having this conversation? And was there a person too, that you've not approached about maybe being in an accountability structure or going to a coffee shop and just working together, whatever it can look like what would make it fun? What's the goal that comes to your mind? And who's the person possibly that pops into your mind that you've resisted asking or inviting into this vision because you could actually be giving them the greatest gift by starting this conversation?

That is so good. I think we can stop there. I am so, so, so grateful. For you. I literally cannot wait to do this. And when I say that, everybody please know there is a giant part of me that is like, what did I just commit to? And I also can't wait. I just feel like this is going to open up so much, not only for us, but you know that we always take people with us on our journey. So we'll keep you guys posted. I'm sure we'll be doing stories about how stupid we are for doing.

It's going to be great.

So sending you guys so much love. And as always, we love to see your biggest takeaways and who is listening. So shoot us a dm. Let us know. Share the podcast we're obsessed with you.

Okay, over and out. Over and out.

Gray Squirrel.

Sam.