864. How To Attract What You Want By Becoming The Most Attractive Version Of Yourself With Founder of Married Game, Keith Yackey

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Do you put good things in your brain that make you believe you can do whatever it is that you want and you don't need them any? Because when you need something, there's desperation. And that's where attraction loses.

Hey everyone. Welcome back to the show. I'm really excited for today's guest. I always love when a guest comes on and just says, look, I want you to ask me anything and everything. I literally want you to push back. I want to know what your opinion is. I want to share my opinion, and let's really see how deep we can get in on the conversation. And that's exactly what happened today. And I'll tell you that I had some of the most profound shifts towards the end of this podcast. I mean, I literally did not see it coming. So you guys definitely listen to this podcast all the way through. I can't wait to hear what you think. Today. My guest is Keith Yackey. I tell you exactly how I met this human and how we got connected in the podcast once we begin. And he is the founder and creator of marriedgame.com when his wife left him five years ago, he realized that he was the problem and that his wife was no longer attracted to him. Since getting back with her, Keith has dedicated his life to teaching men how to get their wives to want to have sex with them again. And this is by doing one simple thing. It means becoming the most attractive version of themselves is the entire reason why we want to be with someone right, is because we are attracted to the energy if they know who they are and they know what they want. So this was a really great conversation for me because I got to ask quite a few questions from a male perspective and different opinions and ideas. And we went back and forth on a lot of different perspectives and thoughts just around relationships. So let's get started.

Keith, I'm so excited to have you on the show. Thank you so much for coming on.

Thanks for having me, Laurie. I have no doubt we're going to.

Have a lot of fun, you guys. We met at a dinner that Pete Vargas put together and I had no idea who was coming to this dinner. He didn't say at all. He didn't say to me who was coming to the dinner. He just said, essentially, hey, you want to come to this dinner? And I didn't know him very well at the time either. And I was like, I absolutely will not miss the opportunity to be in a room with amazing people, because amazing people attract amazing people. And that is how you and I met. And you were one of the people in the room probably out of what, 30?

Yeah, about 30 people.

You had such incredible exuberant energy. And, you know, one of the things that we did was we all stood up and intro to ourselves and just kind of said what we were about and what our passions are and what our purpose and all of those things. And I was so intrigued by, number one, just your energy that you stood up in the room with your story and what you were doing that I'm so thrilled to have you on the podcast to elongate this topic and learn more about you. So, Keith, why don't you share with everybody what story it is that you shared with me at dinner that made me so curious and want to have this conversation. And also what your passion is, what you're doing now, what's your purpose?

Yeah, so what I'm doing now is part and parcel with the story. So let me say what I do, because that tagline seems to get some curiosity. And then we'll rewind. We'll kind of start at the end, but then we'll rewind and do the flashback. When I was younger, five years ago.

Perfect.

So I'm founder and creative business called marriedgame.com and I teach guys how to get their wives to want to have sex with them again. So that's what I do. That's what I specialize. It's what I spend all my waking hours doing. Five and a half years ago, though, the origin story is when my wife left me and she said, keith, you run your business all day, you come home, you talk about your business and you fall asleep on the couch. And that's not what we signed up for, so I'm out of here. And that was when the light switch really went on. Like, oh my gosh, I'm the total dodo bird. This is at least 95% my fault. And in owning that, I found and figured out my way to get her back. And then to build the most amazing relationship where, I'll be honest with you, this was a big revelation for me. I've never met a couple or looked up to a couple and known a couple. I'm like, oh, I wonder how they do that. I wonder if I can ever be that. I just never thought. I've always thought I've got the best relationship in the world now this last five years. And it just keeps getting better and better and better. And there's some things we figured out that I figured out as a man with my wife that I think if we dive into some of this stuff, I think would be really intriguing for a mostly woman audience. And I'm excited about that.

Amazing. Where did this come from? You know? Tell me about the past story with your wife. Where kind of this all came out of.

Okay, so she came back. I hired three coaches to figure it out. I got her back, and the tactics and strategies they taught me were right, But I never felt like any of them really went through it. Like. Like they didn't understand the depth of the pain. And I. I got to imagine just about everybody listening. This has all been through a major traumatic breakup or a divorce, and it's just. It just rips you apart inside, especially if there's kids involved and my daughter was involved, and I'd already been divorced five years earlier. And so I was just like, man, I'm really sucking at this. She came back. We hadn't had sex for, like, first six weeks. And then her foot touched me under the covers, and it, like, just shivers up my spine. And I immediately started to cry. And I thought, man, this is as deep and as dark of a pit that I've ever been in my life. And that's when I really, like, sensed from my creator, spoke to my heart and said, you are going to help millions of men solve this problem. And I wish I was joking about this next part because it sounds so, like, fairy tale, but my first thought was, you have the wrong house. How could that be the download when I'm literally as far away from my wife as I've ever been, Even though we're back together, sleeping in the same bed, but not touching each other. And that's when I. Like, there was a seed planted. And as we kept building and building and building and really refined a process and a framework that I've been able to teach hundreds of guys now, it clicked for me this. We were called to this. And I know that that sounds so crazy to some people, but it doesn't sound crazy to me.

I don't think it sounds crazy to the people listening to this. We talk about this stuff all the time. So I love that you're on here and that's how this all came about. So tell me, from that moment when you were piecing things together, where did that go with your wife? Like, how on earth did you guys get to a place where now you feel like you are so happy you can solve whatever in your marriage? How in the world did those steps start? How did you start breaking that down?

My wife, I was telling you before we were talking, I think she was the greatest gift that God ever gave me because she's willing to hold up the truth. And what she says that I think would be really pertinent to all the women listening is this is. She said, keith, I lost my life in yours. I've got a big personality. I've always kind of done really well for myself financially. I'm a boat with a big wake, you know? And my wife's an extremely attractive human being. And she goes, I lost who I was. I lost my power in you. I lost my identity in you. And I just became a mom, and I wasn't a priority to you. And where I really, like, had so much respect for her is when she stood up and said, I'm not settling for this anymore. I have a standard of who I believe I am and who I'm to be, and it's not some seventh priority on some dude's list who's not the guy that I fell in love with five years earlier. So the message when we started piecing together was, like, learning from her, hey, here's what a good husband would do, dummy. And that's how I had to hear, because I'm a dude and I'm a dummy. And I'm like, okay. So she's like, keith, you were a horrible parent. Now, I had three older kids now that are 23, 21, and 18. So this was my second set of children with Jovi at the time, and she was two and a half. And she goes, you're such a bad parent. I literally don't even want another one with you. She goes, I feel like a single parent. And she didn't want to leave me for, like, three hours to go out with the girls because I don't know if Keith can handle this now. Honestly, my ego is radically offended by that. But she kind of had all the proof in the world, so what could I say other than realize, yeah, I'm not that great a parent. So that became one of the dials. And I'm like, well, I need to become a great parent, because that's highly attractive to a woman. And then I as. I really Studied it further. Lori. I realized there's a reason why women love really good dads. Because they birthed this baby, and it is their sole responsibility to take that thing to where it can thrive on its own. It's DNA. Like, you ladies, you're like, you birth a baby as he's weight or she's way. Or that little kid is way more important than the dad. The reason we know this is because moms never divorce kids, but they do divorce dads. And I don't want to be a good dad just so my wife will be like, wow, that's so sexy. I want to have sex with you. I want to be a good dad. Because that's what a good dude does, is he's a great dad, and he steps up because that's what he needs to do, and that's what he wants to do. Which then became our first dial of our five dial process. Do you want me to talk about more dials, Laurie?

Yeah, let's talk about the dials. I've got one question on this one. How did you, especially if that was the first dial, how did you not become wildly offended, throw up walls, and decide that you didn't want to hear anything she had to say with that type of approach? Because I do know that sometimes people get approached in certain ways and they immediately shut down. So is there anything you recommend around for women listening? If they're like, yeah, my husband's a shitty parent right now. How do I tell him that? Is there something, you know, when you are coaching with so many different guys, what do you find is a good approach for women? And I guess this can apply to the whole five dial so we can kind of talk about it throughout each one.

Here's the reason why I was able to change and able to see it, and it's because she left. I want to just be 100% honest, because I feel like, Lori, what I love about you and Chris's energy is just like, we're just straight shooters. Like, here's what. When a woman stands up for herself and she can say in a number of ways, but I know Jesse said a lot of things to me that I just didn't hear. But when she left, everything became crystal clear. I was like, oh, okay. The light bulb literally went on. I'm like, oh, wait, this really is my fault. I think so many women feel, and I think it's our culture, and I'm not even. I don't know if this is actually that good of a thing, but it is. I'm being observant of what the culture is. A lot of women lose their power, especially their economic power, because they're home raising kids and the husband's off making all the money and they're just kind of hoping and kind of dependent on him. And I would say the more independent a woman can be for herself. I hope this is offensive. I'm just going to say what I think. What I've seen in the real world is the more she feels dependent upon him, the less she's able to stand in her truth and in her power and really stand up and say, oh, hey, by the way, I don't need you. I choose to be here. But it's obvious by your actions, I'm not a priority to you, but I am a priority to myself and I'm going to go be the priority to me. And that is I will not be your second, third, fourth, fifth thing on your list if you eventually get around to it. So it's not even so much what you say, but I would encourage the woman, who are you and who have you become right now? And you need to step up into that power to be like, do I really need this man? And I think when a woman says she doesn't need a man but wants him, she has gained her power back. That's how I would speak to a woman. And I do speak to women because wife has cool friends and we do this relationship thing. So they're always kind of peppering us with stuff.

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Yeah, I mean that's not remotely offensive. I think it's absolutely the it's reality. It's. You know, it's funny because if Chris were here right now, we would talk about a time in our marriage where in the very beginning I was the wife. I stayed home, I cleaned, I did all the things, I worked part time. But he was moving all over for his career and I was all in on his career and he would say certain things that were really offensive to me or put certain labels or jobs on what he thought I should be doing. And for me, I was like, I absolutely am on a path to want to create my own career, and I'm not going to be able to fulfill what you think this is over here. And I felt like I couldn't say that because I would not be supported. I was like, well, he's allowed to say those things because he supports me financially. And I noticed that I would back off of saying how I really, really felt and what I really wanted at that time because he had the right to say that because he supported me financially, and a lot of my needs and wants went to the wayside. So it is truthful. I have lived it. I have experienced it. I think the challenging thing where some people might be right now is, well, if I'm home with the kids and I may not want that career, how do I stand up for myself still and claim my power while not necessarily feeling financially independent or not knowing if I believe that I need this person?

Yeah.

What do you think of that?

That's. Well, I think it's a really fun ball of yarn to pull out with you at this point. Here's the thing, and this is why I say it's a cultural thing. Because a cultural thing, and there's some extremely beautiful things about this. You know, the man is built to want to go out and slay the buffalo and bring home the pelts and bring home the meat. And it just. Biologically, the DNA for a woman is like, I want to just cook that meat and birth these babies and build a tribe so we can defend against some other tribe out there. I mean, we're just talking, like, the most primal thing. That's kind of where humans are, right? Our culture, it's a little different in the sense of, yes, she wants to build a homemaker, but our culture is almost like, oh, you're a homemaker. Like, yeah, you don't really have a job. And it's like, okay, I've done it, and I've switched with my wife and said, all right, well, you go do what you want, and I'll have the kids all day today. And it's like, oh, dude, that's. You don't clock out of it. So the women really in the culture are getting talked down to, but they actually have the hardest job out of any of us. So that would be point number one. I want to just set the table with. The reason I say that is because that culture has bled into women to think that it's, well, that's just normal. And so it's, you want to depend on our guy, but because the culture is so split happy, you actually have to be the person that says, I need to prepare to make sure that no matter what, I can be on my own. And that's not a popular opinion. Like me saying that doesn't make someone go, wow, thanks. He just gave us the easy button. I didn't give you an easy task there. I gave you a really hard task. And that is saying two independent people become interdependent on each other. And that's what actually creates a great relationship. And so the reason I respect my wife is because she did step up and said, my wife didn't have any financial wherewithal. Like she's going to go back and work in the corporate sector. Like she just said, I don't care. I won't settle for being with you. And I'll take whatever's on doors too. And I know I'm a survivor and I know I can do anything. So that's why it's like I would sell women. Do you put good things in your brain that make you believe you can do whatever it is that you want and you don't need a man? Because when you need something, there's desperation and that's where attraction loses. Anytime there's neediness or desperation, attraction goes out of the equation. So I know my wife is an independent savage. She can go do whatever she wants because she's a talented human being and she could pick whatever she wants. Right now she's saying, I'm raising our children so they can be savage. And so there's that respect.

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It's not necessarily that you have to do it. It's kind of like this belief that you can do it and you would be willing to do it. If you're choosing between being desperate, relying on someone and being unhappy, I think that's what I want to really get across. And I think that's what you're getting across is, look, if you are choosing between letting yourself go, losing your identity, your personality, and having someone not treat you well or take care of you or be a partner, then yes, you should prepare and know and work up the nerve and work up the courage and the plan to be able to say, you know what, Even if I leave into a bad situation, I can do it and it's still better than this and I'll figure it out. And I think that's where you can start to gain that power back. That's absolutely. What happened to me is like, well, I'm going to rely on, like, I'm going to bet on myself. I'm going to rely on myself. And that's even when our dynamic really shifted.

But that's why I love what you're doing is you're literally empowering women to be like, wait a second, she did it. I can do it. A lot of other women have done it. When I meet women, you know, friends in the gym or whatever, like just friends around. And I was talking to this one lady who's going through a divorce, and I said, you birth five kids, you're a mother of dragons. You have most creative force of anybody in this entire place right now. You can Create anything you want. You don't need anybody to help you do it. You can do it all on your own. That's what my daughter hears every single day. I have a seven year old daughter. She's my little buddy. We hang out all the time. She watches me do my cold plunges in the morning. Actually, I'll tell you this, Lori, you would love this. And this is that same spirit that I'm breathing into my daughter right now that she's a creator, she was created to create, and that we have mantras and that yakis do hard things. So I was doing five minute cold plunges in the ice bath for like 40 days straight. And she knows our mantra since she's been four is yakis do hard things. Yakis are winners. Yakis never quit. Yakis keep their word. Yakis are creators. All these things, right? We'll repeat them. And she goes like this. She goes, dad, you've done five minutes. We were just riding our bike just the other day. This is three days. She goes, you've done five minutes in the cold. You kind of. It's not even hard anymore. What are you going to do that's hard? Because yakis do hard things. And I said, well, why don't I go on that same chilly water and I just tread water and not touch the bottom for five minutes. She goes, I think it needs to be 10. I said, all right, next 30 days. This is day three. I just did it right before I picked her up from school and it was like, it's all right, 10 minutes. And she believes that the reason we do hard things is because that creates strength in us. And if women just knew how powerful and strong. I know I teach guys, but I want to know that I'm talking to women and I want them to believe that one of the most attractive things for a man is to see a woman walking in her power. And I have a crazy theory about it. If you want me to go into it, but take about 30 seconds, do it.

Okay?

Most guys say they, they want a freak in the sheets and the lady in the streets. And I say, not me, I want a freak in the sheets and I want to freak in the streets. What I mean by that is I want her freak flag to fly. I want her to be so authentic, authentically her. I don't want her to edit or audit her shine for me in any way. Because you know what? I can handle it. I can handle all of her. I can handle in all of her power because I've stepped into all of my power. And for you women, this is what I would say is, step in, let your freak flag fly. Whatever it is that you like, whatever, it's your jam, whatever, they just get you alive. Do that. And if he starts to chatter in any way, shape or form, don't listen to it. And go further, go further. Just. You become the most authentic, beautiful version of you. You're a song. You're unique. I don't want to hear the same old song everybody else sings. I want to see your unique song coming through you, and the world deserves it. It's the most beautiful thing in the world to watch a woman walk in her power unbeatable.

So, Keith, you're obviously extremely, like, in tune, intuitive, well evolved, done a lot of the hard work, Right? So what's happening right now that I'm hearing a lot? Because Chris and I, people always reach out. And I'm sure you with your wife as well, you're such an inspiration. It gives me hope that there's relationships like this because this audience is so many women, and they are so empowered, and they are doing the do and going and getting the thing. I'm getting a lot of messages or people come to me saying, I feel like men are intimidated. I can't find a guy who can handle me being either more successful than them or they get really intimidated. They're not interested. It's just like that message over and over. What do you break that down to be?

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I just had this conversation with my wife coming home from the gym today, and we talked about over breakfast, because she was just with one of her friends last night in Newport beach, where you guys, we all love. And somebody was saying, hey, maybe you're a little alpha, and maybe you're having a hard time finding a guy. And I said, that's a good answer. But I believe I have a better answer. Are you okay if I share a better answer? Like, yeah. I said, well, if you look at wolf packs, there's an alpha male, there's an alpha female, and an alpha female, somebody who's driven. I always believe that desire is a gift that God places in us, that we are. It's our job to open it and to discover it, to explore it. So if a woman says, I want to be powerful, I want to go after, if that's what the desire that's been put in her heart. I say to. To accept anything less than a man that you look up to and go, I will follow that guy into war. You're settling. And settling is one of the biggest slap in our creator's face. And I would just tell a woman, don't ever dim your shine for another man. Keep shining and let a brighter light come into your life, but don't ever turn down your volume for a man, because it might take longer to find him, and there's less of us out there. But I always say, the treasures in the trenches, if you want true treasure, it's gonna. You're gonna take some digging. So I tell that to my daughter, and I tell it to my wife. Like, don't you ever dim your shine. For me, I will shine so bright that I will always lead the way. And I'll never back off. Not every woman gets that. I understand. And we're more rare, and I do understand how rare that is. But if I believe of a woman, well, here's the real thing. Why would you want to settle when you don't have to? There's no rule that says you have to settle because you're a female. Whoever said that is. They're crazy.

Totally agree with you on that one. And then I'm seeing a dynamic shift of when there's an alpha female, sometimes there's, you know, a partner, the other partner, who is potentially. Maybe stays at home with the kids or is more of a supporting role, and that's actually what they're looking for. So I have some friends who absolutely have that, where the husband's more of the full supportive role, obsessed with the wife. The relationship works perfectly. They are totally incredible together. So I have that dynamic. So how is an Alpha female. Do you know if that's actually the partner you should be going after instead of, like, the what in terms of, you know, he could still be coined alpha potentially. Right. But not in modern terms, but not old school terms. Does that make sense? What's your take on that?

Well, I think if people are happy doing whatever they want, then they're happy doing whatever they want. You can have a really strong dominant lady with. With a not so dominant guy. And if that works, it's like, well, those chords work together, so play that song. And who cares what anybody else outside would judge you on? Why would you talk about my relationship? I'm happy as. So go screw yourself. But in every relationship, there's a compromise in this one regard. Hey, you now live with somebody. So I sing very loudly in the shower because, like, why wouldn't I? I love singing. It's amazing. I'm kind of loud and rambunctious. I just, by nature, like, I just am that way. And I used to get offended when Jesse would be like, hey, can you kind of tone it down? Like, nobody's telling me what to do. And then it dawned on me, like, hey, dude, she lives here too, dummy. So, like, I had to realize, wait a second. My job also is to be an amazing roommate. When you boil it down to it, we're roommates who have a lot of sex, but we're still roommates. Like, she still is going to trip over my shoes if I leave them in the hallway in the dark. Like, and that's on me because that's not me carrying my own weight. So I think in every situation, there's nothing that's perfect and there's nothing that's totally bad. It's where on the continuum of this is a totally shitty relationship to a totally awesome relationship, and where are you in the spectrum? And sometimes you can pick a partner and go, you know what? That's the partner I can go the distance with. And I just feel that there's a gel here and there's still some mystique here, but it might not feel as hot and flashy as a fling that sent a DM your way. And you're like, oh, wow, you know what I mean? I think there's a little bit of a compromise when you just realize I'm a roommate too, and I need to be respectful of that and then figure out what is the dynamic that works best for you because I've seen some odd dynamics work really well.

Same and like when you actually break them down, you're like oh, I can. I can actually see how that really, really works.

Sometimes asking ourselves a better question is going to get us the answer that we want. Instead of asking what is wrong with me? Why am I not happy? Why am I not achieving my goals? Maybe asking something a little bit more solution based. Who could help me with the therapy, Help me process my thoughts and emotions and help me become my best self personally and professionally. If you answered yes and you feel like something external could help you, someone external, you need Better Help. Better Help will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist where you connect in a safe and private online environment. Because Better Help is online, you have quick and easy access to your page match therapist without the hassle or commute of having to drive to an office. You can simply schedule your therapy session in between all your back to back discovery calls so you can take a much needed break to care for your mental health. Important things to note about Better Help Just like a regular therapist's office, anything you share is totally confidential. Better Help offers a broad range of expertise which may not be locally available in many areas such as depression, stress and anxiety, relationships and family conflicts, sleeping difficulty, and so much more. My biggest advice about therapy is to get ahead of any situation that might arise and invest in therapy when you don't yet think you need it. You would be so surprised at how much better you're able to handle strenuous situations simply because you spoke about them out loud to someone and talked through it and how to handle the situations the best. Start living a happier Life today. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com Lori Join over 1 million people who've taken charge of their mental health. That's betterhelp.com Lori For 10% off your first month thanks to Better Help.

Okay, let's talk about dial 2. What is that?

Okay, that's the partnering dial Being a great partner. I call it really like the best friend dial. But showing up as a good partner. My favorite story to share about this is my wife loves singing karaoke. Did I tell you this that night at dinner?

No, but I'm obsessed with karaoke.

Okay.

It's hilarious.

Yeah, I like muscle cars and she likes karaoke bars. We like what we like. She loves singing karaoke. She has a really beautiful voice and two shots into the night she sounds like an angel and she lets the world hear it which makes me super happy. So we have a place in our house that it's like kind of this grand opening with the stairs going up so you can sit on the first three stairs and you can kind of see everywhere. And it's like her stage, but she had this little janky microphone with this kind of, you know, at by Diamonds, nine o' clock and people are drinking and the night's been carrying on. We've been having a lot of fun. They can never get the thing to work. And I'm like, this janky thing, this is not working anymore. So I'm like, we're going to Guitar center and we're getting a real PA system. So I got a PA system out in the middle of my house. I got speakers, I got a mixing board, I got mic stands, we've got mics. It's a whole thing. And I thought, you know what? This is what she loves. Like, she loves when all of our friends come over. Our parties are absolutely epic because they're intimate and amazing and they're with special people. And it's like we always love to sing karaoke. This can't be half assed. This can't be janky. This has to be amazing. And when I looked at it, it really taught me the principle of a relationship is never a sacrifice. It's always an investment. It's always an investment. I want to invest. So the partner and I realized I need to invest in her and care about her and want to know about her and feel like we're best. Because that's a level of connection and intimacy that. That is really vital that can create the sexual intimacy. Because I look at it like this, I go, we need to love our women from the inside out. My wife is a beautiful woman. She's been told she's beautiful her whole life, duh. And she's like, I'm not pretty. Not just pretty. I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm cool. I'm all these other things. And it's like, yes, you are. And that's a piece I acknowledge in you. And I don't know how to say it any other way. Then, dude, they want to be loved. My wife wanted to be loved for everything about her and all the cool piece about her. And so that partner dial is me showing up as a partner and being like, I'm just really into you, dude.

I love that so much. I'll have to have Chris listen to this part because I need a new karaoke setup. My machine is hurting. Okay, tell Me about number three. Dial three.

That's the producer dial. And for guys, you know, that is our job. I believe it's in our DNA to produce, provide, protect those types of things. And so it's not so much that you make millions of dollars, but it's that you're driven and ambitious for more. I think a lot of wives, like, want more for their lives and they're trying to cheer their husband on. Like, dude, come on, I see so much potential. You can do this, you can do that. If Ralph down the street is a total dodo bird and he can do that, you're smart. You can do better. Like, so the wives want this better form. And I was making a couple million dollars a year when my wife left me. But I was, you know, hanging out on the couch popping Chipotle burritos like Tic Tacs and had no drive. And she's like, where was the dude that I, years ago or five years ago at the time that was just radically on fire to take over the world with whatever he was passionate at the time? And so there was this lack of ambition and drive that she sensed for me. And it's just like, where'd the fire go? There's no zest. So that's what the producer dials is the ability to produce in a level. And it's also kind of a creator dial because we all get to create whatever reality we live in. And a man that wants to create more will figure out how to become resourceful enough to get that created for himself and for those around him.

Oh, man. I mean, this is so true for everyone. I think it's like when you're not creative, when you're not ambitious, you're not turned on by yourself. You don't even like yourself. I can imagine when you were slamming Chipotle, you weren't like, yeah, I really love who I am. I feel so great. So I think for men and women alike who are listening to this, it's kind of like, I want to know what made you realize that you. I mean, outside of her, that you weren't happy. And how did you turn the creator on? How did you get it back? Because that's the eternal question. I think for all of us, when we're in a place where we're not excited anymore about life, that means our relationships aren't going to be exciting because you don't show up excited. You don't even like who you are. It's hard to be interested in people when you're not feeling like Yourself or creative. So how did you turn the creator back on for yourself?

That is such an amazing question. And I don't know that there was one switch, If I'm being 100% honest with you, and I think it keeps happening. I'm just going to speak to my the latest switch that happened because it's the most recent and to me it's been the most powerful. So I'll just talk to that one. I saw friends around me surpass me in major, major ways that started around the same time as me. And it was another one of those jagged little pills we call truth that I had to swallow and say, they're just more disciplined than you. And October 3rd of this year, I was sitting in this office right here where every Sunday night I spend three hours with my creator. I light a candle like this one. I turn off all the lights and I pull out a journal like this one. And I just say, speak, Creator, for your servant is listening. I've done it for 31 months straight. I haven't missed one single Sunday night meeting. Wow. Right here. And so what happened on October 3rd was this. Keith, your business will grow to as big as you are disciplined. That was the download and the reason why your four closest friends have surpassed all of you. And I've got four horsemen in my life that are my best friends. Pete Vargas, Garrett J. White, Taylor Welch and Dan Martel. All of these guys have just blown up and done beautiful, amazing, world impacting things. And I looked at every single one of them. There was a discipline factor for them. And really what discipline means to me now is I think it means commitment, that whatever I commit to say to do, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it in the time frame I say to do it or else I'm not living integral with who I am. That commitment has stirred up the creativity and the creator in me more than anything. Because what I've done is I've seen the body of proof over the last 150 days, not only in my body, but in my thinking. And I realized, wow, I really am a powerful creator. So the proof that I was able to gain by sticking to my commitments of this routine I decided I was going to do on October 4th the proof of my commitment then alive in this creator in me that literally believes I can bench press any house with one hand behind my back, no problem. It was a commitment.

It's so powerful. I'm literally looking at my own life right now because I was kind of going through just not feeling as inspired this last year, even though I have this incredible idea. I love what I do. But I was just noticing that even the work of what I love, the inertia of it, had taken over some of my disciplined practices. And what you were just saying made me realize, like, wow, it really is getting back to the discipline of like even being disciplined. Like making sure I get the workouts that make me feel the way that I feel. Making sure I'm journaling because that's where my ideas come from. Making sure I'm listening to that book and that podcast every single day. Because all of a sudden the light switch turns on and the downloads come every day. So my creator turns on through discipline. And that's what you were saying. So it was just such a moment of like, that's how you turn it on. Because sometimes it's easy to be like, yeah, but I do those things. But if you're kind of half assing them and you're not proving to yourself that you can do it, proving to.

Yourself and becoming the only opinion that really, truly matters is a journey that every person should go on. And the only way it can happen is if you say, I'm going to do X amount of things for X amount time and nothing is going to stop me. For me, it was 75 hard. That was the program that I did. It's what it tapped in. And I just was talking with a client earlier. I said, hey, have you ever? Have you done? And he goes, I got to day 62. I said, oh, what happened on day 63? He goes, well, I was with Russell Brunson and we, they paid, they bought out all of Universal Studios and all this food and all this other stuff. I said, ah, got it. I said, so that's your price. I said, so fancy food from Universal Studios was your price to compromise your commitment. I just need to know where you're at. So I'm dealing with. Yeah, I guess you're right. I said, so you got about 80% there, right? And he goes, yeah. I said, so you're an 80% man.

Oh, that's shitty to realize, right?

Another jagged little pill. And he goes, yeah, in every area of my life. But I said, but you're so talented that 80% of you is like 150% of normal people, right? He goes, yeah. I said, you're judging yourself against the wrong subjects. You're judging yourself against normal people, but you know, you're not normal. And a lot of women listening to this right here, no, they're not normal. They've been called and they're gifted and they're talented and they're powerful and they know there's that next level. But there is no way to get to the next level unless you go through the tunnel of discipline. There's absolutely no way around it. You cannot get around. So I said, and the reason why your wife isn't having sex with you in the way you want and why she's riding you and nagging you and the way you don't want is simple. She sees your potential and knows that you're cutting corners. And it's very hard to have respect for people who cut corners. So the answer for everything for Mary Game and for these beautiful women that we're talking to right now is very, very simple. And that is if you negotiate away from what you committed, you lose your power. And power. If you think of it in a balloon, power isn't popped and you lose it immediately. It never happens that way. It's slowly, it's imperceptible to the eye, and it starts to just slowly. You never see it. It's days. That eventually becomes the floppy little thing. But it's so perceptible. But I can give you some symptoms that the words that could trigger that you're going down there. And it's simply this. I can get to that later. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm going to get to that. Oh, I should do that. We don't do any of that in my life. The reason why my wife looks at me and says, I will follow you into the darkest pit, because if you tell me you know where you're going, your word means so much to me. Because I know your word means so much to you because you have altered in one iota of anything since October 4th. She goes, I trust you. And that's where I came up with the coin phrase, Lori. When the trust goes up, the lust goes up. How she can bask in her femininity. So I would look to these women and I would say to them that your ability to keep your word to yourself is what will give you power to be able to stand up and say, hey, bro, I live by this standard and you ain't cutting it. I'm going to give you some time to get there, but if you don't, I want you to understand this is no longer going to be a situation. You can't say that unless you have the power. And you can't have the power unless you have the proof. And you can't have the proof do what you say you're going to do with no exception, no modification. And I know that sounds crazy, but if you want something awesome, you're going to have to do something a little crazy.

I think it's so important to hear. It's such a good reminder for me to hear. I mean, this really needs to be like an everyday thing that you almost. What's the reminder? What's the prompt? What's the physical prompt or the, the mental prompt or the mantra or the journaling? What do you do to keep this in the forefront every day for you?

I literally do this challenge that somebody else came up with and I just said, I'm going to keep my. I'm doing that because the promise of the challenge, which was 75 hard, was confidence, self belief, love these things. And I'm like, I want that because I can't get any of this dream life. And I've already lived what most people will call a dream life. Cool house, cool cars, all that. But it's like this is like I'm just getting started. Thank you. I feel like first grade and I'm looking up at the junior hires when I want to hang out with them one day because I want to become that one day. So this, what happened for me is I said, are you going to be real with you and start to be accountable to yourself? So I just said, that's the program I'm going follow. I'm going to do whatever it says and trust the process and watch what happens. And so that's what I've done. I just picked a thing that I was going to follow and not negotiate my way out of it in any way, shape or form. So I think that is just. If anybody just picked up and said, I'm doing these five things every single day and they went 30 days with literally not breaking those five rules, there would be a power in them. I think it can be anything. It was just 75 hards for me.

Yeah, no, I love this so much. I think about it's been a little over two months and it's so small and random, but for the company that I'm building, I need to be present on social media and I went from like hardly posting to I'm going to post every single day. And I can't tell you how much better I feel about myself just following through on that promise. I can't say the posts are amazing or changing lives, but it's changing my life because I'm keeping my word and I'm also not overthinking like I'm observing that has actually helped me see where I've been overthinking other things because it's just not a big deal. It's just like do the thing, get it over with. No matter who's watching it doesn't matter what numbers you get, like just do the thing. So that's been really powerful for me. I love that that you talk about that in all those areas. Just picking those five things or you know, if that feels overwhelming for people, picking one thing to start and keeping consistent with that. Okay, let's quick hit on what did we not touch on 4 and 5?

Can I put a little bow on that one?

Let's do it.

It's the only way you can ever learn to trust yourself. And you can't have true power if you don't trust yourself. Because you're now looking for everybody's validation, everybody else's opinion. What do they think? Oh, I might maybe I want that opinion. And you never tap into that still small voice that our creator has placed within each of us as a guiding system, said, hey, this is you. You're supposed to sing this song. Don't worry about their song. You sing your song. And so that's what happened to me. About 25 days in as I woke up, I was in Vegas. I did four comedy shows, traveled across the country. I had my 10 year anniversary, I had my birthday, which is always a shindig. I had all these things. But I said, I'm not doing any alcohol.

Oh my gosh, that's big.

Yeah. But I also, because at first I'm like, oh, I'm not going to do that. And I'm like that right there, that thought pattern that says I can't do that because of this. That thought pattern right there is leaving you at 2 to 3 million dollars a year. Your friends are at 12 to 15 to 20 to 50 million a year. Because that pattern right there, they've eliminated it. So if you have all these excuses why you can't do it, that's all the reasons why you need to do it. Because those are now excuses that are keeping you. And excuses are not holding you bondage because you love excuses and you're an excuse. So how can you trust yourself if you know you're always making an excuse? It all ties together. So I woke up in Vegas after performing comedy the night before and I looked in the mirror for the very first time in my life, Laura. And I said, I love you, I trust you and I believe in you. And I haven't doubted that since that day. That's why nobody else's opinion. I'm going to continue to show up this guy because this is me and this is the unique song I get to sing.

So good. Tell me what your 4 and 5 are. Quick. We'll just touch on those.

Okay. Which means play, have fun. The new standard of date for the guys is this. Imagine the girl from high school that you really wanted to get with. Every guy knows who that one wins. Imagine you're single, she's single. She shows up on social media and says, hey, oh my God, it's great to reconnect. Let's go on a date. How would you show up to that date? Would you be clean shaven, fit? Would you be doing your push ups before? Would you make a plan? You would try to get laid? That's what guys do, right? They put their best foot forward. Well, we talk about, hey, you got to have a date night every single week because you got to take this mom out of sippy cup and cheerios stuck to her toe attitude and take her back on the dance floor and get your freak on and remind her that goddess and queen that you loved and adored that you first were trying to text to get her to hang out with you. Now you got her and you're not even showing up for a date. What are you crazy? That's the player dial. And the power dial is actually something we kind of slipped into. It's the fifth dial. It's the power dial. We kind of talked about that, about keeping your word to yourself. So that kind of just bleeds into that. So we kind of already hit it. But it's the power dials. Four questions we ask at the end of every night. Did I audit or edit my shine to appease my spouse? Did I seek approval or permission for anything? That is not something I should ever seek approval. Permission from my spouse that I not initiate sexy time for fear of being rejected. And if I got rejected, do I act like a pouty little bee? It's those types of questions and, oh, am I doing the personal development work for somebody else other than myself? And do I get butt hurt if somebody doesn't notice? Always is focusing back on you, back on you. You're doing this for you. That's the prompt. I'm doing this for me. And nobody's coming to save me. Nobody gets to do the push ups for me. And eventually you just have to get real and be like, the only reason myself is because I've shown up Truly lovable to myself, and it's a message for every woman. But this is what I teach guys.

Oh, my God. I love it. This was so valuable for everybody listening because we're all in relationship. And truly, at the end of the day, you know, you obviously really help with a very specific goal as well, but this really is just about loving who you are and showing up fully yourself, because then everything else just is really attracted to you. Everything, right? Business, people, friendships, everybody. So I love this so much. It can be applied to everything. Thank you so much for sharing this, for being so vulnerable. Where can we get more, Keith? Where can we learn more? Where can we listen in?

What are all the things at Keith yackey on Instagram? Marriedgame.com is where my videos are. Instagram. I have a ton of videos on there that talk about this, and I get a lot of women dming me. Oh, my God, my husband needs to see this. I'm like, we'll send it to him. But I want to say one last thing, Lori, and that is this, because you nailed it. And I just want to. I want to give you one of my favorite quotes that I came about about a week ago, and it's original, and it was this. The new law of attraction is simple. The more attractive you become, the more attractive things come to you.

So good.

Become the most attractive version of you and watch the more attractive partners, projects, paychecks. Everything becomes more attractive because people are leaning in. Attractive means people lean in, and they don't roll their eyes and move away. They lean in. They go. I want to hear more. I'm attracted to what's going on. It's an energy. So thank you so much for having me on. I adore what you guys are doing, who you are. I got to hang out with you in, like, an intimate setting and just kind of feel your energy and vibe, and it was really cool.

Well, thank you so much. And you guys, one of the biggest gifts that we can give to Keith is to tag him on Instagram, because I know you guys all upload when you listen to the podcast, so give him a tag. What's your Instagram handle? One more time.

Ethyacke K E I T H Y A C K E Y so give him a tag.

Let him know what your biggest takeaway was. It's so much fun to see who's listening, and also such a gift for them to see the value that they were able to add to your life. So, you guys, love you. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. It.