865. What Do You Really Want From Life? Here’s Why You Need To Know.

Most people listening right now are probably just accepting what life gives them and they're kind of pretending that they're trying hard. They're pretending that they're taking risk. So most people accept what life gives them or they can build exactly what they freaking want. Because if you hear this right now, I know that you've got what it takes to build what you want, for it wouldn't be planted in your mind.

And we're back with another episode of He Said, she Said.

I wonder if people even like these things.

Do you want to know what works for me?

Yes.

Is to think that everybody likes me and everybody loves our podcast and that. And that we're serving at the highest level that we possibly can.

It works. And listen, what you believe comes true, right?

It's true.

All right. Everyone loves us. Everyone loves the podcast. Anyhow, thank you, guys. To every single one of you who's listening. It means the absolute world. I do want you to know that. And surprise, surprise. Today's episode stems from a conversation we had on a walk.

So shocking.

If we didn't have walks, we wouldn't have come.

Oh, I know we've said this. I'm like, if we didn't walk, we'd be divorced. Worst. I would be sick. I'd probably be super unhealthy. I would spend my days eating Doritos. I would just eat crap.

Well, thank God we have a dog that demands two different three mile walks per day. Okay. So this morning we're on a walk and Lori asked me, she goes, what do you want from this life? And I thought it was kind of a rhetorical question, so I didn't answer. She goes, no, really, I want you to answer this. What do you want from this life? And it had been inspired in you to ask that question because.

Because I have been listening to books in the morning and I just got a book recommendation from Lizzie Irfine, who I was sitting next to at your Mastermind dinner, my Elite Mastermind. And she said it was one of her favorite books of all time. So of course, when somebody like, the most life changing book she's ever read. So of course that's very tantalizing. I want to know. I want my life changed as well from this book. So the book is called the Rhythm of. And you guys, I literally was only 15 minutes in this morning, so I'm not sure how it is yet, but.

It could end up literally.

I just. Here we go. Here's the. I already got something amazing from it, but it's called the Rhythm Of Life by Matthew Kelly. And in the beginning, he starts off talking about who he was teaching.

Wait a minute. This is by Matthew Kelly?

Yeah.

Why? He came to speak to us when I worked at the bank about 15 years ago.

No.

Yes. So they got all of us executives together. It was probably, you know, it was the world's biggest bank at the time. Maybe a thousand of us there. He came and spoke to us. I can't. This is a. Guys, I hadn't seen this book. Like, I hadn't seen it.

So she just said, no, I never told you.

This is the weirdest small world ever.

That is so bizarre. That's also, like, didn't Grant Cardone speak to you?

Yeah.

When you were in one of your jobs. So funny. It's amazing. Anyway, so the question that he opens with in this book is, what do you want out of life? And he was talking about how he was teaching to. I believe he was teaching at a college, asking this question over and over. And he said within 20 minutes, he had completely exhausted this audience of college kids. And they were like, it's hard to even think about. And he was comparing it to. If I asked them about a different series they were watching on tv, we could talk for hours and hours. And he was like, we never actually sit and get really clear on what we want from life. And I thought, that's so interesting, because I think I know what I want, but what do I exactly want every single day? And it was the first time, though, that I think within the past few months I could answer something like this, specifically because I have been putting so much thought into what it means to build a life that I love and what it means specifically for Laurie need to do to have a life that I love.

Well, when you asked me this question this morning, it was almost refreshing to have somebody ask this of you. Right? Because you get to recenter on, wait a minute. Why the hell do I get up every day? And what am I really building here? And we all know that if you don't have a target, then you're just going to kind of wander about and you're not going to hit anything. And this becomes a target when you ask yourself, what do you want for. From life? So, guys, as we do this podcast, I want you to ask yourself that. I want you to think about it. What do you want from life? Why do you get up every single day? What is it that you want to be remembered for or at least enjoy while you're here?

So this brings up another quote, and I can't remember who had said it, but it's if you don't know where you're going, you're lost.

Oh, that's good.

And I thought that is why I spent so much of. Even the year before last year, it's like I'd wake up and I didn't have targets to hit. So I legitimately felt so lost. I didn't even know what to do in my spare time or downtime or enjoyment time. Because what would happen is when you are lost, you are lost within all of your time. So if I know where I'm going, then I can truly even enjoy the downtime. Then I can enjoy the free time or the moments in between. And I can be really present in those moments, because in the moments where I'm working, I can also be really present. I know where I'm going with that. And this just brought so much clarity around. How do we make sure we know where we're going all the time? It doesn't mean that you have to be like, I know I'm gonna hit this target. It worked, like, every specific moment. But it does mean when you know where you're going, when you are in free time or when you are on vacation or with people that you love, like, you can really be there. You can really drop in because you're clear on the direction of your life.

It's interesting because when you asked me this question this morning, my first thought was, hey, we have an extraordinary life, like, a really great life. And yet I have even grander expectations of what our life is going to look like and feel like by the time that we are done. Like, way grander expectations. And that was the first realization is don't put a cap on it. And I know everyone's heard that before, but I really freaking mean it. Don't put a cap on it. Do you remember my answer this morning? I said, well, if we're really being truthful, I want an abnormal amount of wealth so that generations and generations and generations after that don't have to worry about security. Right? They can do what they actually want to do and what they love. And I said, I want to get there not working in a way that I don't enjoy. I want to choose when I'm working. I want to choose the amount that I'm working. I want to choose exactly who I'm working with. And if it seems unrealistic on the scale, I don't care if. Because my truthful answer to what do I want from life? Is that I want to Work only when I want, doing what I want, as little as I want, and yet still get this payoff of abnormal legacy wealth.

Now, we are not star crossed lovers with work. Like, we understand we're not so naive that we don't think that there's challenges. What we immediately said right after that is that as long as we're getting challenges that are aligned with what we want to be doing, like, once we see that target and the challenges come with things specifically off of that target, that is when we look at those challenges as a beautiful way to evolve us, to grow us, to make us become the people that we want to be in order to fulfill the mission of this target and to really learn to accept and look at challenges as the way. Of course, the obstacle is the way is the entire idea, but to really know that challenge is the thing that actually also makes you happy. I'm talking about this so much on my podcast right now because I think when people write out what makes a good life, they forget to put challenge in because, you know, people want to feel productive and they want to feel like they've grown and they want to feel like they've overcome something. They want to feel stronger, they want to feel smarter. And the only way to do that is to challenge yourself. So when we write down things that mean a good life, like, it'd be like saying, I only want to do fun things. And I don't know about you guys, but there. There's been a time where we actually vacationed for a month where literally by the end of the month, I was like, I must do something challenging and big and purposeful. And I will say that that month really got me clear on what those next steps would be. But you don't want to live a vacation life. Trust me. We can look at so many celebrities who have lived vacation lives and bad things happen.

So an extension of this idea of how you see challenge, you and I talked this morning about people need to start seeing challenge as the investment into their dream life, Right? We always talk about, hey, what do you have to invest in order to get a return on investment? All of you listening right now. Imagine what would happen if you started seeing challenge as the investment that you have to make into getting your dream life. And you don't know what the dream life is without going full circle back to how we started this thing. And that is first writing down, what do you want from life? Exactly what do you want from life? How granular can you make that target? And how much detail can you add around It.

I feel like I don't want to totally spiral off on this, but it is interesting to me because I feel like for a really long time, Chris, you knew that you wanted to do more. But a lot of the things that you were saying, you're like, eh, but then you have to do this, or. Yeah, but then there's this that comes with it. So how did you know that's like everything, right? Like, we can have this like, dream goal, but then we look at the downsides or like all the stuff that comes with it. When do you know it's the thing that you want to do even though it has those challenges?

When you become so fed up with the status quo, even if you have a great status quo. I just got really tired of doing things that I was good at, but they were boring. And things, when done in monotony, become very boring when you stop challenging yourself. So I could do these things in my sleep. Sure, they produced a lot of money or a lot of great impact and all those things, but I was bored and I got real sick and tired of being bored. And that was the moment where I was like, what do I really want from this life? We're shutting this shit down and we're going after some big things.

Yeah. And it doesn't mean it makes those things bad. It just means that chapter is closed and you need to be challenged. And here's why. Because otherwise you will not show up good for those people. You will become resentful of them and they don't deserve it. Like, it's actually your responsibility to get out of the chapter you're in if you are feeling that way and go find new challenge. Because it's time for you to pass the baton to someone else who is challenged by what they're doing and for you to move forward or you become a resentful asshole. And nobody wants to work with that. No one wants to be around that. And even if you don't say it, I feel like people can feel the energy of it, which, by the way, you served your ass off even when you were done, because you decided to. Like, there is a moment where we all know that the chapter is closing, but there is a decision where you go, okay, have to be in this for longer while I build this new thing and I'm going to make a decision to show the F up like 1 million percent. And we did that. We kept doing it until I think that that was easier because we knew the next thing was being built with.

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So listen, as you hear this right now, I really want you at the, at the end of the thing, I want you to do me a huge favor. Just trust us on this. I want you to stop the podcast at the end and I want you to write down exactly as granular as you can get out the journal and just start writing, what do you want from life? If nothing is unrealistic, what do you want from life? And then work backwards from there. Because, listen, you're either going to just accept what life gives you, and I think a lot of us fall into that habit without realizing it. Most people listening right now are probably just accepting what life gives them and they're kind of pretending that they're trying hard. They're pretending that they're taking risk. So most people accept what life gives them or they can build exactly what they freaking want. Because if you hear this right now, I know that you've got what it takes to build what you want or it wouldn't be planted in your mind. So do that exercise for us. Share it with us. Share it on Instagram journal. What do you want from this life?

And you guys, we are doing something so freaking cool. If you want to come and have a super intimate dinner with us where we are networking with some incredible couples people, you don't have to be a couple, but if you want to get in this room with us and go to dinner, network, do a Q and A, meet us, drop in. We're doing something for charity.

So this is a great way possibly for you to come get a taste of what do I want out of life? Who do I want to spend it with? Who do I want to be around? What kind of big dreamers do I want to be around? Because this is going to kind of be big dreamers only in this room for charity.

So we have partnered with one of my best friends, Lindsay Schwartz, and her husband, and we are going to be putting on just a beautiful evening of networking, dinner, cocktails, non oat cocktails if you don't drink. And we are just going to be getting to know each other. And making sure that everyone in the room is super connected, shares where they're at, what their big visions are and how you're going to do this. It is 15k donated to charity in order to come to this dinner. So we're throwing the dinner, but you have to just donate to an incredible cause which benefits the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. And fun fact about blood cancer, this is really cool blood cancer research. Blood is the only substance that acts the same way in the body as it does in a petri dish, which allows researchers to sign significantly advance all cancer treatments by studying blood cancer. So this was huge because my best friend, Lindsay Schwartz, is specifically raising funds in honor of her godmother, who successfully beat cancer last year. Thanks to people who she will never meet, who funded research that she will never know about. And this is a small way of her paying it forward. And because she's one of my best friends, she's so passionate about it. I'm so passionate about her. I'm also passionate about the this cause. We would love to host this dinner. It's 15k per couple. In order to come to the dinner, or 15k per person, if you are not a couple.

Yeah, it's going to be here in Scottsdale. 100% of the money goes to charity. So the dinner, the experience, all of those extravagant things that is going to come out of our pocket as something caring that we can do for this charity. So 100% of your money goes towards the charity. And listen, at $15,000, you know that this is a room of who's, who's and people doing really big things. You know, two things about Lori and I, if I can be really frank, Number one, you know that we love charity. Giving is our jam. And number two, you know that we have a network that is second to none. I don't think there's a single person in the world that we can't get a hold of either because we know them or through an introduction. Right. I believe that you and I are one introduction away from anyone we would ever want to collaborate with. And that's because we've been in rooms like this. We've worked our tail off to build the best, most powerful network. If you want a network like that, these rooms are your chances to get in it. So 100% of the money goes towards charity. This is nothing more than just getting together and networking for a good cause while having an extraordinary night with extraordinary couples or individuals that want to come to the room. It's not just a couple's thing. But anyone that wants to have dinner, here's what you do. I want you to text the word dinner to us at 310-421-0416 and we'll answer your questions and send you an invite. If it feels like a good fit. Again, text us the word dinner to 310-421-0416 and we'll send you over all the details to see if you think it's a great fit.

All right, guys, we are so grateful for you. We hope to see you there. And until next time, we will see you next week.

Love and appreciate you guys.

Bye.

Bye.