867. How To Make A Commitment And Finally Move Forward On Your Dreams

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If you do not do the things that you were called to do, you will never be able to quench this aching feeling of fulfillment and desire and wondering what you could have been and what you could have done. Welcome back to the podcast. It's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration and I want to talk about decisions. What a real decision is and what true commitment is and what it really looks like. Because I definitely have been guilty of committing to something and deciding and not really fully deciding or committing. Like there's a part of me that leaves the window open. There's a part of me that leaves the door cracked. There's a part of me that knows my escape route, there's a part of me that knows I can get out of this thing. Or there's a part of me that knows I'm not truly committed to it. And it's that great question of what are you pretending not to know? So if you ask yourself right now with that big thing that you want that you're like, no, this is absolutely what I want. No one can take it from me. But if you are knowingly in the back of your head not fully committing, it is not going to happen. This does not mean that you can't ever have fun again. This does not mean that your life is going to be committed to this thing for the rest of your life and you're never gonna do other things and you can't have a social life. This does not mean that. It does mean, however, that you're probably going to take on more work and probably wor. That sounds scary. That's probably why you're not committing. There's probably a lot of things attached to it that you are afraid of, but let's talk about that. So the word decide. I love this. So the word decide decision has Latin roots. The meaning of the word decide comes from the Latin word decider. Hopefully I said that right. De seder, which is a combination of two words. D means off and seder means cut. So it means to cut off. So to make a true decision, it literally means to cut off everything else except for that thing and anything having to do with it. So Tony Robbins talks about this a lot and he talks about if you want to take the island, you have to burn the boats. Meaning if you want to win the war on the island, if you want to do the damn thing, you actually have to burn, burn your own transportation off of the island. So that you are either going to die or you are going to win this thing, right? Or you're going to die trying. And this truly is something that I have done through the years. For real. Of course, worst case scenario, I could always get out, but I attach so many things to it that I would be devastated, mortified, lose tons of money if I don't do it. Because humans, nature, when it gets hard, we want to get the hell out. And if we're not the boss, right, like now you're the boss. Most likely. If you're choosing to do something really, really big and you're going out on your own, or maybe you're an entrepreneur, you're investing, or whatever that looks like, that is scary. You now have to really decide that this is what you're going to do, that you are going to burn your own transportation, that you are 100% committed to it. So how do I do this?

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Once I decide, right? Once I decide, I attach someone to it and I attach something to it. So when I say someone, I attach a lot of someones. I tell friends, I tell any social network that I'm on. I start asking questions of the right people. I start the process. So I attach people to it, right? If I was going to write a book, I talk to a literary agent, I hire one. I start the proposal. Maybe I hire someone to help me with the proposal. I start investing in it. I start telling people, I let everybody know that this is something that I'm going to do. Attaching money to it. Especially if money is a big thing for you and you don't have a lot of it, putting money down that's gonna make you show up is gonna be so huge. So once I decide, right, once I cut off everything else, once I close the window, once I burn the boats, I attach people to it and I attach something to it, meaning money or just major, major commitments, a date, anything that I can get down so that now I am tied to it, then I put pressure behind it. I either make sure that that date is somewhere that would maybe challenge me, or I'm gonna make sure that I get it out in the world. And maybe I even put more money down. Maybe I bet one of my friends if I don't get it done, that I have to pay them something or I have to not get hair extensions or shave my head, I don't know. But if it means something to you, if it's your life's purpose, that means that your life is on the line, right? What's the beautiful saying? Everybody dies, but not everybo lives. This is what we are talking about. A life where you show up to live out the purpose that you were planted on this earth for, that you were put here for. This is life and death. It's the choice of actually living the life that you were given or not showing up to live the life that you were given for the reason that you are here. And truly, if you do not do the things that you were called to do, you will never be able to quench this aching feeling of fulfillment and desire and wondering what you could have been and what you could have done. So this is why deciding and cutting Off. All other decisions are so important. A couple things that I do when life comes at me and I get really tempted to sell out my dream, right? To put a price tag on my dreams. Some things that I do, and of course I'm human, these things are gonna happen. But you get right back. So I don't wanna say that you have to be perfect. That's one thing that I never wanna preach on here because I have failed more times than I can tell you. But these are some serious tips that have helped me, is that, let's say I know when I was writing my book, like, I knew I needed to write this weekend and I needed to at least get in two to four hours or two to six hours, whatever that looked like. And I knew that people were going somewhere or somewhere that I wanted to go, I would literally say, okay, you know what, Lori, you can totally go to that thing, except now you have to pay for it with writing a book. So you don't get to write your book anymore. You don't get to have this dream. But you can absolutely go. And if you're going to go, decide to go and don't feel guilty about it, Just know that there's a price tag on your dreams and it's going out with your friends and having drinks. Just know that there's a price tag on your dreams and it's watching Netflix and you're selling this big vision and this big dream that you say you're aching to do, that you say is your life purpose, that you say you're not gonna be happy without doing. But it seems like it's really easy to put a price tag on that vision. Seems like it's really easy for you to sell out. So if that's what you want, that's what you can do. Yes, I have these conversations full on with myself. And you know what, you guys, I actually did a podcast with a doctor a couple weeks ago who was talking all about mental chatter. And he was saying using your own name and kind of coaching yourself is an actual thing that helps and works. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm not crazy. I've been doing this my whole life. Stepping outside and saying your name and coaching yourself in that way actually takes you out of the situation, lets you step back for a moment for new perspective where you can take a beat and you can really see what's going on. So try it. Say, hey, whatever your amazing name is. Is this what you really want? Just know that you are giving up your dreams for this moment. So can you compromise? Is there something that you could say, all right, if you get in four hours of writing, you can then go out or go here. Like, okay, well if you double up on Friday or if you double up and get two days of writing in in one day, then yes, you can do it. These are the negotiations that we have to start making for our dreams. And it's like as long as you get it done, then yes, you can have your cake and eat it too. But we're not doing that. These are the conversations we need to start having is saying 2026 is the.

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Okay, where am I going to make sure and decide that this is what I'm going to do and cut off everything else and don't leave the window cracked. So if I would have left the window cracked, it would be like, okay, you know what? Like, that book can wait. That's totally fine. It's going to be there. I can come back to it. Yeah, I'm going to go and I'm not going to write this weekend. Like, you're giving yourself these constant outs, but they're not outs. They're literally sellouts. Like, you're selling over your dream. So it's not a way to free yourself. It's not a way to go do something else that you want. It's literally putting yourself back in that prison of not doing the thing that you were put here to do that's going to wake you up in the middle of the night and you're selling your long term purpose, fulfillment and pleasure.

For short term pleasure.

So, you guys, I'm sending you so much love. I hope that this helped. I hope you start talking to yourself. I hope you start using your name. I hope you start negotiating with yourself, because that shit works. Okay. All right, I love you guys so much. Let me know what your biggest takeaway was.

And until next time, earn your happy.

Bye, everyone. Sam.