900. It’s OK Not To Reach Your Dreams, Something Better Is Waiting For You

You have to come to a place in your life where it would be okay if you didn't get the thing that you thought was gonna be the thing that was gonna make your life. And when you come to peace with that is when everything opens up. Hey everyone. Welcome back to the show. This is another episode of behind the Scenes of Building a Business with my incredible co host, Laur Lauren Coleman, who.

Is also my chief of staff, my.

Incredible right hand woman. And this woman truly is one of my favorite people to talk to, one of my favorite people that I get to work with. And on the topic of what we're talking about today, you are absolutely someone as well that I could have never even seen coming. That sometimes we think we have someone or something in mind for our lives, for a certain position, for something that we want, and God is just ready to bless you with something even bigger and better. So sometimes when we get disappointed in our lives, this is what we're talking about today. When something isn't happening, when we are up against a wall, when the timeline is not working out, when that thing that we are maniacally manifesting is not happening, it is truly because we have something bigger and better waiting. And I think the only way that we can get to the bigger and better is if we hold that belief that if something isn't happening, it was because the thing that you wanted would have totally crowded the Runway of where the blessing, the actual huge 747 blessing, was supposed to land. So, Lauren, tell me about a time in your life where you were really manifesting or wanting something. You can tell me a couple times if you want. And it just either wasn't happening and now you can see that you're so glad because there was something better.

So my favorite one is that I have around 10 years ago, I started journaling, listening to Gabby Bernstein and doing all the things of like calling in what I really wanted and just taking a lot of time to figure out who I was and what I wanted. So I was journaling every single day, like wrote out all of these goals, dreams, visions, ideas. And one of them was like being an entrepreneur is like so in depth of this community of women, bringing them together and making an impact in some way and helping people and helping each other and just a million different things along those lines. So being an entrepreneur was something that I always was like working towards, but I was doing different jobs along the way and trying to follow what kept feeling good because it kept opening up better jobs and different things that felt better. And so basically I was trying to start my own thing in different ways, but I didn't really know what it looked like. So it was that aspect. But then it was like, do I want to do something? Like, maybe in the influencer space? Because that was really exciting and interesting too. But I kept needing to make the money in my job that I kept not putting much time into building my own thing. Very, like, as much as I needed to do. So I was having that, like, struggle of time. And so then Covid happened, and where I was working, my hours got cut. So it literally forced me to look for something else. And I wasn't just going to take anything. So I looked for a while and other things just weren't working out. And I came across this job and I was like. I told myself, like, if I get this job, this is like, exactly where I think I'm meant to be. And like, I swear, like, everything that I've been journaling about is here. And I'm like, this is gonna change my life, but bring me to what I've been wanting. Like, I just had this feeling because I'd already known who you were and I had already, like, known a little bit about Light Pink. And so just from social media, I'm following you. And so I just had this Gut Think site was. I just, like, loved you so much already that I was like, oh, my God, I can't even believe this is possible. So I ended up getting the job. And sure enough, that's what happened where I was like, I don't even want that anymore with, like, my own thing, at least right now. Like, my whole everything I've been journaling is starting to, like, come true in this business, which is insane. Like, the community, the types of people, the networking, the mission that Light Pink has of bringing people together, it's not just a drink. Everything that I was journaling about is literally starting to coming true and happening not how I saw it. I'm not an entrepreneur, but I also feel very being an entrepreneur, I wanted these certain feelings of, like, freedom and even like, working from home, possibly, or working from other places. Like, I can do that in this job. It's not my own company, but I have those certain things that entrepreneurship allows you to have. I can create things for the company. I can bring up ideas. It's not just like, I'm here as a robot doing tasks and checking them off. So that's one huge reason that this feels so aligned as well, is because all of the things I was looking for are literally being given to Me in this role, which is. I'm not surprised because I knew it was going to come in some way, but I was shocked that it was in this form that it came to me, and I couldn't be happier.

So I love this conversation, not only because, hello, I'm so obsessed with you and your role in this company, but there are so many layers to this because there are probably people listening who are maybe trying so hard on the entrepreneur route, where your dream can happen within someone else's dream and your dream does not get diminished. It can actually grow. Like, even you sharing this with me, when you're in the right spot and two dreams can align. Like, obviously, you coming into light pink has expanded my vision that, you know, when you say, yeah, it might not be my own, but then immediately for me, I'm like, well, what's so cool is that Lauren holds shares of the company. So essentially she is a part owner of the company. She's a shareholder, just like the investors. So that's another cool thing, is sometimes ownership can look very different. Sometimes it can be, you know, you get to own the parts of the company and show up and work in the ways that you want, maybe without right now as much of the stress of the risk potentially. And I know that there's no reason why you couldn't handle the risk right now, but maybe it's really nice to, like, be in this place of, like, growing and expanding and learning with being able to get ownership with maybe a little. And I know that you feel it, so I know you also feel it and carry it because you bleed light pink. But it's truly like looking at all of the ways that maybe your vision can grow within someone else's. And I mean, this is even a conversation. Once I grow light pink and sell it, like, how am I going to want to go into another company or another project? And it's like, maybe it won't be mine. Maybe I'll go into someone else's who does kind of what I'm doing now, and I get to go in and get to play a pivotal role for them in something where it's my major zone of genius. So I want to open people up to this. That's why I'm actually. It was like, you can share whatever story you want. You absolutely don't have to share about Lightbank. But I'm actually so glad that you did because it's really opening me up as well to see all of these different avenues for people, for myself, for you, for all of these things. And also what it makes me want to do just by you saying that is, like, okay, I know that you wanted these things and you journaled about them, so are we checking all of those off the box? Like, what would make you feel even more a part of community? Because I know that that's something that you really want to feel. Is there a part of this that you want to be running that makes you really fulfilled in that arena? And I'm just talking to everyone out there. It doesn't mean that you're always going to be able to give it to that person or do that. But what if you're missing a really great idea from someone and not putting them in their zone of genius where that could just benefit everybody and make them thrive and make them so happy? So I'm actually so glad we even had this conversation on here, because it makes me say, okay, when we are looking at the future of your career, did we tick this box of, like, a really important thing of fulfillment for you, or how can we include you in this arena to make sure that you're feeling expanded or really fulfilled in this area? And I know that we can't always be 100%. We can't always get all the things that we want, but at the same time, can we try? Can we look at it and try and have a conversation around it? So I freaking love that.

Yes. And also, that's such a good point that you were bringing up, because I didn't feel scared to even mention that to you, because I think that could be maybe, like, a turnoff, maybe for somebody who's hiring, somebody who's like, oh, I want to do my own thing. But I think it's different, too, if, like, your goal is to work somewhere just to get, like, a little experience and you have this intention and then you leave, like, that's different. But if you can actually, like, if you truly are like, oh, my gosh, this is actually, like, my calling and meant for me, and that's just, like, not where I want to be right now, doing my own thing, then I think that is an awesome opportunity for somebody. Like, if you're the boss and the entrepreneur and you have other people working for you to, like, have that open conversation for them to be feeling that they're allowed to say what their dreams are and what they might have expected, but how this fits that need for them. And like you said, like, not everything's gonna be possible and work, but why not at least have the conversation? Because it could help if they have some awesome Passion for something, they could bring that to your company rather than making their own business with it. So just having that safe space to talk about it and not be threatened by this person who is like, well, I have an entrepreneurial heart. It's not necessarily meaning they want to be an entrepreneur at this moment. So let that shine through in your company and explore options whether they work or not. At least have the conversation, which I love that you allow me to do, and just be more real, too, because I feel like there's so many people. This is a different avenue still tied together, but it could be a whole new conversation. But how many people at work feel like they're not even themselves because they're not allowed to really be themselves? Or. Yeah, me too. So you just have such a special way of allowing me to be who I am, talk about the things I love and maybe incorporate them, maybe not. But at least, like, you care and want to know.

Well, that is from not doing it right. I've learned that from not doing it right multiple times over. Because it's not that I didn't want people to be who they were. It's that I was really afraid of people coming in and it's like, who are we listening to? Because sometimes I would listen to people who were like, you know, you just don't want to hire anyone who has any vision of, like, doing what you want to do, because they just come in and they use you and they want to be you, and then you're left high and dry. So, you know, I think I've had some of these conversations that have residually stuck in my head, and I'm like, I've been used before. People have come in for the year and, you know, they start their own thing or they've even taken some of my stuff and, you know, done whatever. And. And I absolutely manifested that, because the way that. The way that I was looking at everything and the way that I was approaching it, but now I am completely aware that just because you are pretending that the people that you're hiring don't ever want to grow or have dreams and that they're going to be just fine in that same position serving you the same exact way, just because you pretend that it's not there and you avoid it and you don't want to talk about it, and you put enough fear around how you're saying it to let them know, like, you better not be thinking this or doing this or wanting to start this. Just because you're doing that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It is there. And you know, when you hire people, here's kind of the tough spot. As someone who wants to grow a company, doesn't matter what position. And if you're in a position where you want to grow, whatever sector you're in in the company, if you are in a hiring position, it's wanting to hire someone who's really good. But really good people always want to grow. So if you're hiring someone who's really good and pretending that they're going to be in the same position and not want to grow in some way, and if you don't have somewhere for them to grow, they're not going to be with you long. So it's funny because I used to hire assistants all the time. Like, oh my gosh, I just want a really good assistant who's going to be my assistant for forever. And I always thought I looked at other people who had these assistants forever and I'm like, yeah, I don't know what's happening there. But they were like one in a million. And a lot of times they were growing. They were getting more and more responsibility and the companies were growing, so their money was going up or they were, you know, either increasing their workload or increasing their fulfillment load because they were doing different things in the company that they wanted to be doing. But I did not have those places for those people to go. So it's just, it's matching your extra expectation and knowing like, okay, if you hire someone but you're not growing and your business is not growing, then they're not going to have somewhere to grow. So release the expectation that you're going to have this a player for life in a business that isn't maybe growing or you don't have somewhere for them to go. And I think that a personal brand is kind of tough because you don't always have another place for them to go because you kind of don't need to be growing your team past a certain point sometimes, or you hire out or you hire agencies for other things that you need. So the ways that they can grow is growing your company so that you can hire them more and maybe incentivization type of pay based off of different programs that you're selling and stuff like that. But avoidance and pretending that someone doesn't have dreams doesn't make them not have dreams. So for me, I'd rather have the transparent conversation before of like, hey, Lauren, I know that this was something that you wanted to do at one point. Where are we at with that. Like, how can we make sure for right now you're feeling really good here and we're fulfilling these desires and you're feeling this way even though it didn't exactly look like how you thought it was going to look at first.

Totally appreciate you so much every single day. You have no idea. Like, this is completely the best fit that I didn't even know existed. And I'm so glad it came in. So that's really nice.

She's really actually like that. Like, she's really actually like this. I swear, I'm like, I pay her. I mean, I do pay her, but.

I didn't, I did not get a bonus for saying that. Little plug.

No, it's just, it's for some people who maybe are like, oh my gosh, I just, I don't know where I'm supposed to be or this is not necessarily working. Maybe it's because you're attached to someone else's dream. Like your destiny is actually attached to another dream, but your dream will actually come true within it and you'll be able to find, feel fully expressed, fully alive. And it might even be a little bit easier of a pathway for you for right now to get that dream out. And when I say easier, I don't mean it's easy because it's not. It's just that it's maybe more of a plug in than a paving of, of the complete way, which could be like a really refreshing way to look at it. Like, wow. You kind of get to plug in and start those things that you want to do right now.

Totally, yes. So now I want to hear yours. I've been dying this whole time to hear what yours is going to be because I know you're going to have a million.

I have a lot of times that I did not get what I dreamed of because something was better. The first one that I can think of is just when I over and over and over for three years, and I'm talking, I submitted things once a month to try to get a magazine cover. That was my dream. So for a couple years it was like I was prepping and doing all the things that I thought would get it for me. And when I felt like I was finally there where I could start submitting and doing the things I was denied for three solid years. And that is truly submitting every single month, traveling, trying to meet people, going and doing photo shoots on top of that. It wasn't just like those things of like trying to get out there and do all the photo shoots and stuff. It was like, the hard part was. Was emotionally, I was also doing. Trying to stay in shape the whole time. So, not just in shape. I mean, I was trying to stay in super lean, which is not healthy. So I was emotionally stressed. I was putting a toll on my body. I was, like, pushing so hard for three years to get these covers, and I just got to a place where I was like, maybe this isn't it. Why do I want this? And if I wouldn't have gotten pushed to that point of maybe this is not it, even though it turned out to be it, but I just want to share, like, what happened. I don't think that I would have learned, number one, what I was made of. Number two, what I was really meant to do and what true fulfillment was. Because I thought that if I got this cover, that finally people would take me serious. Finally, maybe I would be accepted into, like, this popular friend group that I had never had before, that maybe people would want me, Meaning just, like, in general, be wanted by people. Like, be invited, be included, be asked to do things, be given attention. Because I had never felt that I had gotten that before in my life before that point. And I was putting all of my worthiness into those things. And finally I got to this place after three years. I was looking at my vision board, and all it had was women on magazine covers. Like, all these women that had inspired me, where I'm like, if I get there, maybe I'll finally feel a certain way. That's what I thought I would feel confident, I'd feel desired, like, all the things that we want to feel. And I was staring at this vision board with all of these magazine covers on it, and I just remember being like, oh, my God, I may never get this. And having throwing a temper tantrum, literally looking at it. I threw myself on the bed. I beat the bed, like, with my fists and legs and screamed and cried and, like, it lasted, I don't know, maybe a solid 60 seconds. And you know when you're, like, having this temper tantrum by yourself, and you're like, nobody's listening. So it's like, not even. You feel like, I can't keep this charade up. Like, it's too much energy. I was like.

Nobody'S here to even see this.

So I stopped and I. I stood back up and looked at it again, and I was like, why do I want this? I don't know if I've ever actually gotten to the realness of what is the thing in me that needs this because when you get to a place where, like, it may not be yours ever, you have to come to a place in your life where it would be okay if you didn't get the thing that you thought was going to be the thing that was going to make your life. And when you come to peace with that is when everything opens up. And I would have never gotten to that place of, why do I really want this? And I stood there and I was like, I really want this. Because all of those women gave me hope. Because I felt like even though I didn't have a community yet, like, I was borrowing their belief. And I believed that this cover would give me, like, this community and it would make me feel seen and I would feel connected. And I was like, couldn't I do all of those things and create a community where I felt seen? And I made people feel seen and connected and let them know they don't necessarily need those things if they're outside of us and we can't seem to get them on our own. And, like, why can't we just create them right here? Like, maybe they're right here. Like, maybe everything is right here. And so I started to get to this place where I'm like, what if I just decided that I didn't need it? Like, I still want it, and I still want to go for it, but what if I didn't need it? And what if I just created something that gave me those feelings? And that's truly when I started my own community, when I was like, I don't care if two people show up, 10 people or 50 people to these workouts that I'm going to start every single weekend and be committed to. I just have to be consistent, and I have to commit to this. Like, I have to be here and now instead of trying to do that. And it was like, a really big awareness that also, like, you know, these magazine covers are a business. I didn't have a lot of value to add to them. I was just another pretty face and a body that looked like everybody else's who was sending in these pictures. There was nothing special about me. I had nothing to offer them in terms of what they were looking for as a business. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, they're a business. They need to sell magazines. They don't care if I'm like, I did another photo shoot. Look, here's more me. Who gives a fuck? Like, what value are you adding to these people? How are you going to show them that you're going to Sell this magazine. Who are your die hards that are like going to run through a wall for you and buy this magazine and tell people they need to learn all about it and learn about you and how can you make money for this business? And that's it. Like all came together from there and I understood it. I was like, oh my gosh, I have been missing this this whole time.

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I've just been trying to say like why can't you see me? What's wrong with me? Do I need to be leaner? Do I need to look a certain way? Do I need to be in that friend group? Do I need to do that show? Is it because I didn't get that blinged out bikini? I didn't spend enough money on this? Like all those thoughts that run through your head, that run through everybody's head, like why am I not being seen? Instead of saying how can I add more value? How can I become undeniable? And if it wasn't for me not getting those things for three years, you guys, it doesn't have to take you that long. I was just slow learner. I would never understand this concept that I bring now to everything that I do. If I am being ignored or denied, it's because I'm not bringing enough value or I'm not bringing enough value to the right spot, I'm bringing it to the wrong spot. Those are always the two paths for me.

Wow. Yes. Love that. And I think that reminds me of like when you're thinking about what you actually want, it's for one, it's not going to look the same way. It's not going to turn out the way that you think it is. But going back to why do you want it and how do you want to feel and not being tied to the certain thing like you getting on this magazine cover. But maybe you create something like this huge community that is even bigger than what this magazine cover would even offer you. But you could have been so closed off, never had the temper tantrum on your bed and just kept trying to do the same thing over and over again, maybe not getting one still ever. And you're tied to that one thing that you didn't let anything else come in.

You know, what I want to share.

With people is there were so many women who got covers at that time that I followed. You know, there's however many that I just like, followed religiously. Maybe 30, right throughout those years that I watch many of them, not all of them, but I watched many of them get the covers and come and go. Like they didn't use the covers for things. And what we have to remember is, is sometimes we get the thing and it's just a moment in time. And if you don't understand that the thing needs to also be used, like, like by the time I got my cover, if I would have gotten it sooner, I wouldn't have understood this. It would have only been 15 minutes of fame if I would not have understood that when those eyeballs are on you, you better have somewhere to send them, you better have an offering for them to go and look at, or you better have a place that you can direct them that adds even more value, that then converts them into your audience. Or your cover came. You did not convert that audience at all. They had nowhere to go. They had no extra value from you, and they're on to the next. And that's what we have to remember is like, if you get these moments, if you get stage time, if someone's going to highlight you, if you're going to go on a big podcast, like, do you have an offering? Do you have an opt in for your text? Do you have an opt in to your email? Do you have a big value add for them that you've prepared that's free for those people to funnel into? Otherwise it's just like you just worked so hard for nothing. And that's a whole other thing of just kind of understanding that it's never one thing. It's always one thing leads to another, leads to another. And how can you optimize all of these little experiences? So when people are like, what's the one thing that you would say was like the biggest needle mover, the biggest thing you did? I'm like, it's never one thing. It's a thousand little things that when the big thing comes, you've done the thousand little things to prepare for that moment. And even those moments, Lauren, I know you've been on the inside long enough, and it's kind of like you've done your own thing, too. It's like, even those big moments, they bring credibility, but they don't move the needle a lot of times a ton. It's just, you have to do a thousand little things that move the needle a little bit to add up to a ton. So just like, knowing that in life, it's everything, just. It's literally every little moment along the way that is adding up to something that you'll be able to look back in a year and understand why this was that way. Or, you know, you and I talk about it all the time. With the delay of the launch, like, we're starting to see puzzle pieces of exactly why it did not launch when we wanted it. And even though, you know, we were heartbroken and sad and unsure and, you know, what's our Runway for money and how are we going to do and financially, and all of these things that you worry about when you're delayed, now we can really see what those reasons were for. And not just see them, but, you know, we didn't just sit back and say, well, maybe it'll reveal itself. We said, well, how can we use this time?

Yep, exactly. This could open us up to be able to have, like, a 10x more successful launch than we could have if we did it. I don't know if we did it six months ago or so rather than six months from now. Like, if we're a whole year or more delayed. Yes. We don't have revenue coming in and we're spending money in the whole meantime. But we could also make a lot more money and sell a lot more product if we're using this time right now to set us up for success. So we could have a more successful business at the time of launch and beyond.

Mm.

Yeah.

And just be really, really prepared. Like, there were some points where we would have been very rushed, and first impressions are everything. Right. We wanted to launch before the holiday season, and then someone was like, I don't know if you want your launch.

To be at the holidays, because most.

Boxes are late, and that'll be your first impression. And then that could be. First impressions are, you know, if they're bad, first impressions are last impressions. Last time you'll have that customer. So, you know, that was a moment for us that we're like, oh, my God, sometimes there's things working out for you that you can't even see. Yeah, that was a huge moment for us. But, you guys, we are so grateful for you. We love just being able to have these conversations and hopes that they help you kind of see on the inside that it is constantly up and down and all around and just really learning to be in a state of constant gratitude and open communication and getting the lesson faster, like, that's the key that I want you guys to hear from both Lauren and I, whenever we talk is like, how do we look for the good and get the lesson faster and move forward? So, Lauren, I'm so grateful for you. Always so fun to have these conversations. And you guys, we would love for you to give us a tag. Also, give at drink Light Pink a tag and let us know what your biggest takeaway was so that we can share you on our stories. And until next time, we will see you next week. Bye, everyone.

Bye.