905. But What If Your Biggest Fears Actually Happen?

Without those moments of judgment, without those moments of criticism, we don't know how to get better. You don't actually get to show your faith until you are tested. And you don't actually get to grow your strength. You don't actually get to learn until you go through things. Hey, everyone, welcome back to the show. It's time for another quickie because there's always time to put in inspiration. And I just want to say a massive thank you to everybody for, for always tuning in. It means the world to me. It is how I get to see who is listening, whether you're sharing on stories or you're leaving reviews. And speaking of reviews, you guys, I am shouting out your reviews on here, so I want to shout out Laina V, who just left an awesome review. She says, tens. I have listened to Earn youn Happy for years now. I adore Lori harder. And I had the pleasure of meeting her at Angie Lee's Pays to Be Brave event. It was the highlight of my life. Okay.

Wow.

She's full of knowledge, networking and is someone that I look up to as an entrepreneur and more importantly, a human being. Lori jumps into fears and keeps learning through life. I love how transparent she is and I will be a lifer for listening and learning from this awesome podcast. Thank you, Lori. Oh, my God, Laina. I actually think that that might be a little too nice, but I'm gonna take it. I so appreciate you and you guys, if you want a shout out on the podcast, make sure you put your name in there, tell us what you do. I mean, let's get your life, your business, all your stuff across to. Because if there's one thing that I have always loved to do, it's to create a platform where other people can be highlighted. So let's get you highlighted. Go leave a five star review for me. Let me know what you think. Let me know what's happening in your world, what's on your mind, all the things who's helped you on this podcast. Okay, so today I want to talk about something that is probably one of the biggest reasons why people are not starting, starting what they want to do, starting what they love, starting that big vision, starting to take the first step on their calling. And obviously, I think that you all know what it is right now. You could all say it with me on three. One, two, three. Fear, right? Whatever form it comes in, it gets dressed up in really fancy disguises. For those of you who've maybe experienced some success or you feel like you have an incredible education, it's probably gonna come in some fancy disguises, like perfectionism. And I know for me, it can show up as just anxiety or fear of bad things happening. Oh, my gosh. It could be that your family no longer accepts you because now you're making money, or they think you're too good for them, or they just think that what you're doing is crazy. It could be you don't have time for your friends anymore and they get upset because you don't want to do the same things. It could be that you're afraid of online bullying. It could be that you're afraid to look stupid in public or screwing up in public. It could be that you're afraid of getting canceled. Oh, my God. It's all of the things. And I want to tell you that the things that you think are going to break you if they happen are the things that are going to make you. And so we sit at home and we fear putting the thing out, and we fear saying how we feel, and we fear putting out our information into the world that could absolutely transform people because of one of those things that I stated. And if I didn't just add it to the list, it's nothing different and it's nothing new, right? Our fears are not special. We don't have a fear any bigger than anybody else's. They all tend to go in the same pot of stew of fear. And I can tell you, looking back at my life, I could share story after story about how my biggest fears had come true. And I don't say that to scare you. Like, oh, shit, that's exactly why I'm not going to do this, because my biggest fear is going to come true. I'm not scared saying your exact biggest fear is going to come true. But what I am saying is that we attract what we fear, right? And we attract it because we need it. And I want you to create a relationship. I don't want you to get off this podcast like, oh, my God, she literally just told me that my fear is going to happen because your biggest fear probably won't happen, but something will happen that you decide to translate as your biggest fear happening. So someone might say something that maybe your biggest fear is that you're not smart enough or that you're not working hard enough on your business. And maybe someone says something that has nothing to do with that, but you translate it to that and decide to spiral out and say, see, this is why I can't do this. This person thinks this, this is happening. And those are the types of things that happen every single day. When you come to find out years later, it wasn't even about that. Or maybe it something about them. And then there are the more specific cases where, yeah, maybe you get called out about something that you were worried about putting out there. But I want to tell you that those are the moments in life where you get to practice being the person that you want to be without those moments of judgment, without those moments of criticism. We don't know how to get better. You think that you can get better. You think that you can do it on your own, but we actually can't, right? It's like saying, I want to build muscle, but I absolutely don't want to lift the weights in order to do it.

Do it.

You can do all the air reps that you want. You can pretend to be swimming outside of the lap pool, all that you want, but until you dive in headfirst, you're never going to understand it. I could read all the books on surfing that I want and be an actual expert on it, but if I throw myself in the water, can I actually do it? And that's what I want to talk about. Because even just coming from a religion where I was, I mean, extremely religious, three times a week in church and then going door to door, you guys, I could tell you all the things about God, about the Bible, about everything. But until my faith was tested, it didn't say the person that I actually was, right? You don't actually get to show your faith until you are tested. And you don't actually get to grow your strength. You don't actually get to learn until you go through things. And I can tell you that the richest conversations that I've had, the people that I just love to be around the most, the people that I learn from the most, are the ones who have been in hell, right? Have gone to hell and back. And I can tell you that they always say that they wouldn't change out or trade any of those lessons because heaven is on the other side, because the knowledge is on the other side, because the true joy and beauty is on the other side. And I have to tell you that sometimes when I'm having, like, just the best month ever or an easy month, once in a while, I'll notice that my joy, like, scale can start to go down. Like, I'll be like, huh? I notice that I have to kind of, like, work a little bit harder or get a little more grateful or really dig in, where sometimes when I'm having tough weeks, it's easier for me to experience joy. And I just want to explain that where you're like, that sounds totally backwards. But the contrast is what often brings a lot of joy. And not just the contrast, but the fact that you're doing hard, challenging things brings a lot of pride and accomplishment within yourself. And that, and this itself can make our joy state go up, meaning just our happiness state go up. If you notice that once you've had a challenging week and you get through it, your perspective on it, if you're like, wow, I'm really proud of myself, which I want to highlight that if your perspective is, wow, I am so proud of myself. The hard stuff is where I learn the most. This is where I really get to become the woman, the person that I came here to be. You will notice that exponentially your level of happiness and accomplishment and pride in yourself will raise. So it's not just looking at the week and saying, okay, yeah, that was fucking hard, and I don't feel better. It's saying, that was really, really challenging and I got through it. That is how we can start to not only look at our lives in a way that's going to always, always be in favor and in service of us, right? Like make your life work for you. The challenges don'. Away. It's just your perspective gets better and the level in which you actually view yourself and your happiness and your joy gets higher if your perspective changes as well. And now my relationship with challenge and my relationship with pain, you know, because these things aren't fun when they happen. When I've gotten bullied by people that I thought were my friends. Because maybe, who knows why, right? Like, maybe jealousy, maybe it triggered something in them. Maybe I said something to them that completely rubbed them the wrong way. Or maybe I reminded them of something. We don't know why. Sometimes we don't get to be the hero in everybody's stories. Sometimes we are the villain in people's stories. And no matter how hard we try, we can't change it, right? Because that was just the role that all of a sudden in this chapter in life, you were meant to play. And no matter what amount of apologizing we're trying to understand, and it just won't change. Because in this world, maybe that was the role that you were meant to play. So who knows why all of these things happen? But what I do know is that if you can't change it, find the lesson from it, extract the lesson from it, forgive, pray, move forward, dig into something else, give back, Put your energy into something that can help someone. The fastest way to feel better is to make someone else feel better.

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Challenges this week and truly it was either the choice to get caught in a spiral of thinking a certain thing. This is what they think of me. Oh my God, I knew it. I'm not smart enough, I'm not good enough. I shouldn't be doing this. Or is it, okay, let me help someone. Let me learn from this. What is this triggering in me that I actually might need to look at and get better at? Right? That is the perspective of a winner. That is the perspective of someone, someone who is going to move through life in a way with so much more ease and grace. So I hope, I hope that wherever you are at in life that this just reaches out and gives you a hug and says, keep going. Oh my gosh, you are so much stronger than you think. And these are the things that no matter how bad it feels, no matter how taken down you feel, no matter how weak you feel, stupid, whatever it is, like these are the moments that you actually get to see, sit in it and just say, okay, this happened. Where could I get better? Where could I let go of something? Where could I forgive someone? Or where could I just focus on making someone else's day better? Because I know this is not the truth and I'm just going to move forward by pouring myself into helping someone else feel better. What I do want you to know is that people don't necessarily talk about this all the time. And it happens to people weekly, right?

Or daily.

And if you're like, well, then life is really hard. Well, that is the truth. But how can we change our perspective about what we actually think of these lessons? And maybe life isn't hard. Maybe life is just trying to offer you the lessons to get better and better, faster and faster because that is the trajectory that you are on. I'm sending you so much love. I want to know your biggest takeaway from this, and I want you to know that I'm thinking of you. I am you. We are you. We're in this together. This whole human experience, man, the best way to make it fun and easier is to just share it and bond together and find your people and talk about it, bring light to it. How are you actually feeling? And I hope that by me sharing my experience and my struggles every single week and showing how I'm getting through them, that you can just say, oh, my God, I'm not alone. And we're doing it together and life just wouldn't be worth it if we weren't showing up for our highest purposes. Because what you're doing right now, every time you choose to show up, you don't even know who you're inspiring or what pattern you're breaking or what family pattern you're breaking or pattern you're creating, and there is a ripple effect. You just have to have faith in that and know that it means something. Know that you showing up means something, even when you can't see it. Sending you guys a big hug. Lots of love to you. And if you would please go, leave me a five star review and let me know, you know, what you got out of this or who has inspired you on this podcast. All right, you guys, until next time, earn your happy. Thank you so much.