91: Everything You Need to Know About MASCULINE and FEMININE ENERGY and How It PROPELS Your Relationships and Life FORWARD with Christine Hassler

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Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast.

I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss.

Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear. Clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the Earn your happy podcast and today I have Christine Hassler on the show. If you recognize the name it is probably because you have read one of her best selling books or you also loved one of her previous conversations on this podcast. She is an amazing friend of mine who I absolutely adore talking with, laughing with, learning from. She is so wise and is always giving, giving advice on such a level that even if it's a massive topic, she breaks it down and we're able to really understand and apply it in our life. So that's what I am all about. And she's all about practical tools and helping people. Her whole mission in life is to truly help people and process what they're going through in order to step into the best version of themselves possible. She's a professional speaker. She leads seminars and workshops to audiences around the country, conferences, corporations. She's been on the Today show, cnn, abc, cbs, Fox News. She has a podcast called over it and on with it that I absolutely love, where she coaches people live and her third book, Expectation Hangover I absolutely love. And that's what we chatted about on the podcast prior to this. So if you guys have not read that yet, you have to read that as well. And I know that you're going to love this conversation that we talk about today because we are talking about everything having to do with feminine and mascul energy. What does that mean? What does it look like? Can we be in one energy too much? Can men have feminine and masculine energy? Can women have both? And we answer every single question under this topic. So tune in, I can't wait for you to hear and let us know what you think. Here we go. Christine, I'm so excited to have you on the show again. Thank you so much for coming on.

Thank you Lori for having me back. I'm so excited to be here.

You know, I, I Just had so much fun with you at this last weekend that we were at Christine. So, Christy, we're laughing already because we just spent a whole lot of time laughing together. Christine and I just came back from, like, a mini women's mastermind where a bunch of us women. How many were there? There were just five of us. Yes. Five of us together in a house in Malibu, just going over life. Business plans. Life plans. And really talking. And it's really a beautiful thing when you get women together for a period of time where there's nothing else going on and no other distractions, and you really have the intention of elevating each other and really getting to know each other. But also, what comes out of that is a lot of fun and realizing that you have a whole other personality inside of you named Helga.

That would be me, Christine, AKA Helga. She's a model.

So, yes, we still have fun. It actually just brought me back to, like, we just played. It just brought us back to that. Like, I felt like a teenager just, like, hanging out with a bunch of girls, but also changing the world.

Yes. Lori was teaching me how to model and take good photos, and there were some ones that she could really blackmail me with.

So now I know. It's just I forced her to come on the second podcast because I have these pictures, so.

Oh, yes.

But the reason I wanted you on here is not only because I just have so much fun talking with you, and I get so many amazing takeaways, but I keep on hearing this topic of feminine and masculine energy coming up, and, you know, we chatted about it a lot together, actually, in this mastermind. And I find that there is so many times in my life where I really realize that I've been spending a lot of my life in the masculine. And because it is such a hot topic right now, I wanted to really break it down to finding exactly what it is, talk about why both are so important, and really just be able to give people a clear understanding of what these two different energies are and how useful they both are. So, Christine, what is feminine and masculine energy?

It's a great question. And I think that we're. In a lot of ways, we're still working to figure it out, because for so many thousands of years, we've really been living in the illusion of separation and living mostly in ego and have come up with, like, constructed personalities. And we're sort of now just getting back to the knowing that we're all one, that we're all connected, that we're more than these three dimensional bodies and that we have different energies that run through us. And so I think as we're remembering that we're getting into the nuances and one of them is masculine and feminine energy. And one of the major things that I've learned about masculine and feminine energy is it doesn't necessarily mean man and woman. So men have feminine energy and women have masculine energy. We have both. And the intention is to have them balanced. And whether you're a man or a woman, you're generally going to have a masculine or feminine essence. Like you're going to kind of err more towards one. So I would say, like Laurie, you and I have both masculine and feminine energy, but we have more of a feminine essence that's more of where we operate from. And that doesn't just mean, because we're women, that's just sort of where we lean more towards. So in terms of how they're defined, like I said, I think we're still discovering it. But if you think about feminine energy, the feminine gives birth to things. The feminine is the ultimate in receptivity and creativity and compassion and nurture. But it's not just those rather kind of softer things. You know, there's also the power in the feminine. And we'll bookmark that and kind of come back to what feminine empowerment really looks like from my point of view. And the feminine is all, all about beauty as well. And the feminine is super connected to, to Mother Earth and being grounded and being supportive and all of those kind of just mama nurturing things. And it's also about sensuality and sexuality. And that doesn't mean being a seductress, but it really means just being in that relationship with our own feminine energy of being that kind of sensual, flowy, flirty energy that is so beautiful on so many levels. And the masculine is more about, you know, if we think of kind of like basic anatomy, okay, the feminine is receptivity and the masculine is more the doer. It's more about form and about structure and also about holding presence. Like the feminine is wild. If you wanted like a visual, I think the best way to represent the feminine is the ocean. You know, it's like you can't control the waves. It's just wide and vast and beautiful. And the masculine is the beach that holds it. The masculine is just this presence that whatever the feminine energy wants to go and do, the masculine's like, I am here, I got you. I'm rooted and I'm just holding space for whatever needs to flow and Whatever needs to happen. And I think that we've sort of lost touch a little bit with like what the essence of each of these energies are. But before I go into that, I'll just pause for a second. Did that make sense so far?

Yes. And I love that because the visual really helps. And just you can even feel that kind of in your body when you think about what that, what that would look like for yourself.

Exactly, exactly. And I think that why this has become such an interesting conversation is because when you think about the feminist movement, so that started in the 60s, but really geared up in the 70s and it wasn't really a topic until then, but the feminist movement really rode on the energy of anger. And it needed to, because we needed to wake up. Things needed to be catalyzed. And often, just like in human psychology, before something changes, you kind of need to get angry about it because that kind of passion awakens something inside of us. So the feminist movement, when it started was about anger, about not being treated the same and wanting equal opportunity. And there was a bit of an againstness towards men that I think we're still recovering from. I think that was a very kind of wounding time for the masculine and a time when things got a little confusing for men and for women as well. Because it was like, okay, how do I stand in my power but still be feminine? You know, how do I become equal to men without becoming a man? And what our generation is really learning how to do is how to be in our feminine power without overdoing our masculine, without being in our masculine too too much and really understanding that feminine empowerment is not being like men. It's standing in our power and having equal opportunities and kind of coming back to that, that oneness idea.

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Okay, so how do we know? Is there a way of knowing when we are in which one? Is there something that you do or that you can kind of tell when you're leaning towards one and the other energy might be needed?

Yes. Well, and this is where I think it's tricky because a lot of the advice out there to women especially is you're too much in your masculine energy if you're controlling and doing and overworking and all those things. But I don't know, Lori, that that's necessarily being too much in our masculine energy because a lot of that is just reactive. We're overcompensating. You know, we're in fear. And so we're overcompensating by trying to control. We haven't worked out issues of not feeling good enough, so we're overdoing. And so I don't know that that's necessarily masculine. So when I hear a lot of advice to women, be, well, you need to get out of your masculine energy and be in your feminine. Women are like, well, what does that mean? And I think more of the advice is you may need to look at how much you're in fear. You may need to look at, like, your spiritual connection and what your relationship to control is. To me, that's more the issue than, am I too much in my masculine energy? Because it kind of makes it seem like being in our masculine energy is not a good thing. So I sort of have a different opinion on that. And I've had a lot of I'm single and I've had a lot of people in dating advice tell me, well, you're just too much in your masculine energy. And I'm like, I really don't feel like I am just because I'm empowered and I accomplish a lot and I do a lot. I don't necessarily feel like I'm in my masculine. However, I do feel sometimes like I'm in burnout. And that's what we need to watch. And so when we're too much in our masculine energy, to me, that means when it's not necessarily about driving and forcing and controlling and all of that, because the masculine energy is about so, so, so much more. It's really when we're not giving enough attention to the power of surrender and receptivity and flow, when we're just in a little too much of the making things happen versus the letting them come to us. So how I try to balance that in my own life is if I find that I'm like, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive. And I'm not doing enough sitting and listening, I'm not doing enough self care, then I'm a little out of balance. So my intention always is to let the feminine energy sort of drive the car in a lot of ways. So let my feminine energy be open and hear and receive ideas, and then my masculine responds to that rather than just pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing. How can we use our masculine energy, which is a beautiful energy, the ability to have vision and get things done and have some structure and have a plan that's. That's beautiful. But if it's coming from a place of trying to compensate or not feeling good enough versus coming from true feminine energy of I feel really inspired and I feel really creative. That's a much different come from. Does that make sense?

Yes. So I'm kind of trying to relate this in my head to my life because I feel like in the last year, really this last year, especially since I've been really intentional about trying to allow myself to surrender because I really was addicted to the do. Like I would just. If something wasn't happening, well, I just assumed that I wasn't doing enough. So it was like more action, more things to do. And then I. It just was this beautiful kind of realization of when I really started connecting with other women and masterminding with other people in general, not just women. And really going into those questions of really successful people who also seem to be extremely happy and have a really balanced life. And a lot of that was understanding that, yes, you, you know, I really love doing. I didn't want to give that up. So when I heard like, oh, this feminine energy and just sit back and receive, I was like, that actually sounds not fun to me. So, like, just, I just pictured like sitting on this throne. Like, come, let it all come in. Like, I'm like, okay, it doesn't have to be that way. But it was this beautiful. Like you can go out and do and enjoy that. That portion. But also there's this beautiful part where you can know that you've done it and you can just be in that and know that things will be coming to you. Now, they don't always come in the form that I want.

Right.

But there are always beautiful things coming in. So that's kind of what I'm picturing when I picture my life. Like, have I been so much in action that I haven't even allowed things to circle back around from what I've done to come in. So kind of looking at that and saying, where do I need some nurture? Where do I need to receive? Where do I need to let people pour into me? Or if I'm feeling empty.

Yeah. And where do I need space now? Where do I really need space in my life? Because again, I don't think doing is just masculine. And that's. That's the tricky thing about this subject, like I said, because when we try to put anything that's like energetic into a box and define it, it's useful to an extent, but it can also be confusing and restricting. So it's. Yes, that plans and vision and getting things Done. And that sort of like initial go does feel more masculine, but the masculine and feminine can work together in the doing. Like, I know in your work, Glorie, yeah, there's a lot of action, but there's also so much creativity and so much more play that happens in there. So it doesn't need to be one or the other, really, is the two of these energies working together and not bouncing between masculine and feminine. But really, how do they. How do they come in harmony? How do they work together versus being, you know, in one more than the other? It's kind of like the work life balance thing. I don't know why. Like, you know, where that term even came from? And what does that mean? You put your life in, like a pie chart and try to have equal time in different areas. Like, I've never understood, to me, balance is really about harmony and being in harmony, no matter what you're doing in the present moment, being present as much as you possibly can and finding that place of equanimity inside of us. And so that's where I feel like it's really important. And the other thing that I have been, because I've really been praying about this and meditating about this a lot because I love this whole subject of masculine feminine energy. And I studied a lot of teachers like David Data and Alison Armstrong, and there was a lot that really resonated with me. And then there was a lot that didn't. Like, one of the things in the teaching is that man's highest purpose. I mean, man's number one priority is purpose and woman's number one priority is relationship. And I was always kind of like, huh? Well, I don't really feel that way. Does that mean I'm more masculine? Because I feel equal Relationship definitely important to me. Not just romantic, but soul friends and. But purpose is not number two. And so I really had to find what that felt like inside of me and not buy into just because I'm, you know, more of a feminine essence that's more of my come from that relationship is number one and purpose is number two. It's like, how can those exist together? And how can I know that as a woman I can have both the purpose and that can be a priority and a value. And I can pursue it leading with my feminine and definitely using my masculine. You have structure and take action along the way and also really value and be present in relationship. And I think that those two, for me, can't coexist because my heart is so much in either one. And so to compartmentalize those two things would be really challenging for me. I don't know. How do you feel about that?

You know, I'm still trying to define it in my head just because simply, it's like sometimes I'm. I was literally just thinking about bringing it into relationships. When I think about when I'm stepping into a room with, you know, when I walked into the place, we were staying in Malibu and there was a bunch of women there that I was coming from. You know, I came from maybe doing work that morning and then stepping into a new place. And then I was also thinking about when I work all day and then I go for a walk with my husband. And I'm. I'm still trying to figure out what it even really looks like. Like, is a change that I need to intentionally make as I step into different places or is this something. So I'm actually, I can still get really confused on the entire subject. Do you know what I'm trying to say when I say that? Like, do I need to do a switch? Do I need to turn off gears because my husband is my business partner or, you know, I'm going into a situation where you are trying to connect deeply with women or does that make sense?

Totally. And I think it's a good question and I think the answer is yes. It's like, what energy do we need to be in? Like you said, like switch gears. So when you're on calls and you know, working on your book proposal and dealing with emails, you're going to be more in, you know, being as effective as you can, maybe working a little faster, maybe more being in your head. Because that's what needs to happen when we're working a lot and we're thinking a lot and we're getting a lot done and more of that, like fast paced action, sort of busy feeling. And that that's in a lot of ways necessary when we're working and then being aware of when we're like walking into a room full of women or with our spouse or partner, whoever we are, maybe just shifting into. To me, I like to think of it as a softening. Right. Not that I'm necessarily hard when I'm working, but in that more masculine energy, we're singular, we're single, focused, like there's a lot of focus and feminine energy is more expansive and more receptive. So when we're in that more receptive energy, we're a little bit more connected to our heart, we're a little more connected to our body and the Simplest thing for me in terms of a transition is just taking a really big deep belly breath and like connecting into my body and softening my shoulders and softening my jaw and just like getting back into my body. That really helps me transition into more of that softer feminine energy. And again, we're not leaving the masculine behind, right? It's not like we're like multiple personalities moving from masculine, feminine. It's all just about harmony and what's like most called for in this moment. Because you're right, I think that's important especially for, you know, professional women. Or even if you don't have a job, like outside the home or even if you're not an entrepreneur, even if you're, your job is being at home, taking care of the kids. Like you're in kind of a focus, doing energy. And so when your spouse comes home and you're going out with your girlfriends or whatever, there is that awareness of softening into, okay, I'm not like, I don't have to drive everything right now. I can relax, I can receive, I can come into my body, I can open my heart a little more. Because I think that that's a really important part of self care. And I think that's why so many women have hormone problems, thyroid problems, cortisol depleted, they're gaining weight because they're in the doing, doing, doing, doing, doing all the time. And they're not really softening into that place of, of the feminine.

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So what is. If you have any advice for someone who's, who's like maybe potentially just realizing right now that they're feeling that push all the time, they're constantly feeling like they need to do more or they're not enough or that they're always pushing against something and it's always hard. That's kind of like the thoughts that I think when I know that I am just in a completely single track mind frame. What's something that you could say to them? Because that's tough. I mean, that's, that feels like it's. When you're, when you're deep in it, it feels like it's who you are to the core. And if you stop, you're going to lose control.

Yeah.

So what is something that you could tell those people?

This is, I love that we're talking about this because the common advice for those people is, oh, we'll just drop into your feminine energy. Just, you know, take a bath and be flowy and whatever. And I tried that for a really long time and I'm like, this is not working. Like, it's not working. So I really thought about it and here's what I came up with and here's what's worked for me. And this makes so much sense and I hope I can. It makes sense in my head. So we'll see if it makes sense coming out of my mouth.

We'll talk through it.

So again, like, if we're in that do, do, do, and then we just want to flip into just being. It's a big leap for our like, unconscious mind and we don't really know how to do it. And so the whole advice, just drop into your feminine energy doesn't work. I actually think that that what has needed to happen for me and many of the women that I worked with is they needed to come in to a better relationship with the sacred masculine. And what that means is if you think about the masculine, it really is. And again, this doesn't just mean men. This means masculine energy. It really is about feeling safe and feeling held. Like I said that the beach, right. Holding that Sense of presence and space. And what a lot of women aren't so great at is their own relationship with themselves and really being able to hold a space for themselves where there can be a part that's sad or a part that's upset or a part that's stressed out. And then there's this other part that's making them feel safe, that's telling them, you know what? You're okay, I gotcha. It's okay, I'm here. And we need that strong masculine part inside ourselves that has nothing to do with the doing, but has more to do with whole holding that space of presence for us to make us feel, like I said, secure and like someone's got our back. And when we find that space inside ourselves more, then we can relax more into our feminine. But I think so many women try to jump from doing, doing, doing, to being this flowy goddess, like doing yoga, you know, whatever. And it's a really hard leap to make if we don't have that relationship with that sacred masculine inside of us that can really hold space for us when we're feeling stressed out, when we're feeling crazy, when we're feeling like we have all these emotions, we need to have that relationship with that sacred masculine inside of us. Does that make sense?

It does. And I have a few questions around that. So, first of all, you're so right. I remember going from 100 miles per hour to, I'm going to try this bath thing for the first time in like eight years and be getting in the bathtub.

And like, how long have I been in here? Is it long enough?

It was like one minute. And I'm like, like, I hate this. Like, this is so boring. I can't even take. I was out in like two minutes. Like, this is awful. Now I can do it. But that took a while. But as far as that goes. So going from the doing or finding that place where you do feel safe, exactly. What are some things that we can do around that? Does that look like meditation? Does that look like journaling? Does that look. Look like, you know, reaching?

What.

What does that look like? I would have no idea.

It kind of looks at, like, what is your definition of safety? Like, what makes you feel safe? You know, do you not feel safe because your emotions feel out of control? Do you not feel safe because of money stuff? Do you not feel safe because you're single? Like, what is triggering feeling not safe? Okay, so that's the first question. Like, what? How do you not feel safe? And then the second question is to kind of ask, well, how is that really not totally true? You know, so if you're having like, you know, if you're super scared about money, it's like, is it really true that I have zero dollars in the bank right now? Like, is that, is that really true? I mean, is it really true that I'm going to end out like on the streets? You know, there are people in my life who I could live with. You know, it's like really kind of busting the beliefs that are triggering the major, major fear. So that's, that's sort of the first part and then it's really going in and talking to ourselves. And I think the best way to do that is to imagine because it's not the grown up self that is triggered, it's the younger parts of us that are feeling unsafe. And so it's really going in and imagining yourself as a younger person, maybe, you know, depending on what age. But for a lot of people it's like around between 5 and 10 is when we started to feel unsafe in some way. Either unsafe at home or unsafe at school. Or that's when we started to like realize that there were quote unquote threats in the world and scary things out there. And so it's. Did you have a question? Okay. So it's like going back and imagining ourselves when we're that young and just, just really either out loud or in a journal or in our own head, being like, it's okay, I'm here, you're safe. Self soothing is one of those things that seems so simple, but it's, it's actually one of the more challenging things to truly feel and experience. But it's like the most important thing to be able to do with ourselves. We talk so much about self love in our work in our industry, and it's more than just like affirmations. It's really about being able to soothe ourselves and really make ourselves feel safe inside no matter what is going on in the outside world. So it can even be like having a stuffed animal that makes you feel really safe and just like holding it and nurturing yourself and just like working with calming your nervous system down. Because it's really challenging, I find, to be in my feminine energy when my nervous system is fired up. Like, I can't go sit in the bath when I'm like all like, oh, like, what's going on? And I sort of need that masculine energy, almost like the divine father figure kind of thing to be like, it's okay, sweetheart, like you're okay. I got you. It's okay. It's all going to be okay. I'm here. And we all have that part inside of us, and it's up to us to find it and not look to someone else like a man, for example, to make us feel that way, but to really feel that way inside ourselves. And then, of course, men can hold that space for us and create that, you know, experience for us as well. But it's so, so, so important to find that within ourselves first.

That was such a great description for me. So what came up for me during you speaking was, you know, I'm just relating it back to different parts of my life where with. So for me, in order to get into the feminine I have to be while I'm in the masculine, I have to learn to trust. It has to be such a deep inner trust of yourself and knowing that no matter what happens, it's going to be okay and it's going to happen for you.

Right?

So in order to. Let's take, you know, I. I had a woman who had gone to one of my events, the, The. The Bliss Project, and she said, you know, I. She works in a. In a man's world and. Or she works like in a. In a. In an industry where it's all men. Like, she works with literally all men. And it's very, very masculine. And it's these powerhouse men making literally, in their businesses, they're making hundreds of millions of dollars is who she's working with. So she's like, it's very, very intense. And with what she wanted to do, she thought she had to be in this intense masculine energy, wearing masculine clothes. And she had gone to Bliss, and she noticed how a lot of the women speakers were so powerful and so feminine. And, you know, I had a lot of different speakers on stage, and she was like, in that moment, I knew that if I could tap into my masculine and feminine and bring them both, that I could bring, like, I could really change not only an industry, but really bring myself and Joy into this position. So I actually just met with her and she was talking about that and that her business is exploding because she has, like, interwoven this feminine, this hurst, this part of herself that she didn't think could exist in this world. And it was because she just gained so much trust by seeing it. Like, she needed to. To somehow see it somewhere else and understand what that could look like for her. So, you know, I'm thinking of this even for myself in life. It's like I had to have this deep knowing and this deep trust. But I also kind of looked around me at what was working. So I think even hearing you and hearing this conversation for other people, it's kind of seeking that. Do you do that for yourself? Do you try to see what's working for other people, or do you have mentors kind of in this?

Oh, absolutely. I really look at, you know, both with men and women. Like, who do I, like, feel, like, really inspired by, but also, like, my body relaxes, Like, I'm excited, but I'm also like, ah, like, I. I get you. And those are the people I really look to in terms of, like, a projection. Like, how do I model? Like, what is that person doing in a situation? And. And how can I step more into that? And a lot of times I use a journaling exercise. So, like, for example, if Lori. If I was being like, oh, my gosh, Lori is such a powerhouse, and she's also so feminine. She has this amazing life. And if I really was feeling that resonance with you, and I wanted to look at, like, how I could model that and how you were a mirror, I might write in a journal exercise. These are just like stem sentences. So, Laurie, when I look at you, I see. And just write down everything I see. When I look at you, I feel. And then write down everything I feel. Like whatever that elicits inside of me, you create. So what do I, from my perception, like, what do you create in life? You are like, you know, what is it like to be with you? And then to go even further to be like you, you must have to think or believe. To be like you, you must have to feel and to be like you, you must have to act like. And when we do those kind of journaling exercises and we use someone else as a model, and we start to almost kind of deconstruct what we're seeing inside of them and what they might be thinking or how they might be having. It starts to give us a picture of how we can take that more into our own lives. And I think where a lot of us get tripped up is we get jealous or envious or compare ourselves and think, oh, I can't be like that. And, oh, this person's so like this. And, oh, I don't know how to do this. And we just backtrack instead of going, wow, here's this person that's reflecting something back to me that I really want to step into. And, you know, you spot it, you got it. So anyone, anything you see in someone else that you Admire, respect, or even jealous of or compare yourself to, you have. It's just a matter of recognizing you have it and being intentional about bringing it up inside of you.

That is so good. And that's a. That's a whole other conversation. But I do believe that they are related, is just really celebrating that. Like, it was so great to be in a house full of women who would have, you know, five years ago, I would have been like, oh, hell no. I'm, like, way too intimidated to even. Like, I'm gonna barf before I even go in there. And to be in, you know, this home with these incredible women at this mastermind we just came from. And truly, when I would hear different things that they were doing, and even though these are things I want to be doing so badly or these traits, or I'm just, like, in awe of these women, I just celebrate it, because I know that even just being in their presence, it's elevating me. It's rubbing off on me. It's giving me hope. And you're just, like, getting to bathe in their greatness and celebrate it, because it is in me in my own way. And I think that's another beautiful part of trusting is just knowing that you being on this planet, believe it or not, even if it sounds too easy, this is probably the feminine part. You are amazing and perfect and beautiful and just showing up as yourself and peeling off those layers of the fear and the push and the do is where, honestly, you're gonna come through, like, and find this incredible person who can just show up as themselves and affect people in the most beautiful way.

Totally. And you're hitting on to another part of. I think what we're. What. What we're experiencing here in terms of the feminine. I think that a lot of us right now are healing a lot of the wounded feminine. And a lot of that is the comparison and the competition and the gossiping and the cattiness. And, you know, at all my retreats, when people come in that opening circle, I can feel the tension in the room. And one of the first things I say after we do our meditation is, okay, look, everybody feels nervous. Everybody's comparing themselves to everybody else. Everybody's judging themselves right now. Everybody's like, oh, my gosh, can I trust these women? Like, it is a natural thing that comes up for the most part, not 100%, but for the most part, when women come together, because we're healing a lot of that, because that's kind of how there was a lot of competition in Comparison. And what we know now is like, oh, my gosh, when we lift each other up, we all go so much higher, and it's so much more fun to celebrate each other and know that there's enough abundance to go around and know that we don't need to be against the masculine or the feminine. We can all really support each other and look at how we're similar in so many ways and celebrate our differences and learn and play like we were when we were little kids. I always joke that, really, life is about returning to how you started returning to that joy and presence and openness and confidence and love that we had when we all were born and when we come together as women. That's one thing that I think, Laura, you're so amazing about. Inspiring is really owning who you are and knowing that just because you might see someone in someone else that you admire doesn't mean that you're any less than. And it doesn't mean that you don't have it inside of you.

Thank you for that. I truly just. I don't know. I really love knowing that no matter. I have all of these incredible women around me, and it's. And it's looking at each thing that they have to offer and knowing that no matter what it is, if it's something that you enjoy, whether it's even just playing or maybe you're the person who just likes to make food or create spaces for people, these are all such vital things, and it goes back to even being tribal. There's so many little pieces of the puzzle that need to happen, and every single one is so important. It's so important.

Can we circle back to, like, the women, you know, working in a man's world or being kind of more in that alpha male energy? And, like, how. Okay, so I recently had an experience where I was interviewed on a really large podcast that was, like, super alpha male. Like, I went into the studio and there were, like, mounted animals with, like, you know, blood and a pool table and, like, you know, joints on the table and skulls and coffee everywhere, and it was super dark and red and black, and it was streamed live. And I could just feel like I was in, like, the man cave. The man cave. And I was. I was. I mean, honestly, I was, like, a little thrown off by it because I don't spend a lot of time in alpha male energy now. I used to. I used to be an agent in Hollywood, and I was the only female in my department, and I so was in my masculine energy because I thought that that's what I needed to do to be accepted. I really didn't even know what being in my feminine was. I wasn't empowered. I was still very insecure and self conscious. And again, like, it wasn't so much about being in my masculine energy. It was more about not knowing who I was, period. And just being a chameleon to whatever I needed to be. And so it has been a while since I've been in that kind of energy. And I, at first I felt myself very disoriented, and I was like, okay, like, how. How do I not go into alpha, my alpha male to try to, you know, fit in here, but also, how do I not get small? You know, how do I really stand in my feminine power? And what I learned from that experience was that a lot of times, especially as women, we think that men will accept us more if we're more like them or we'll get rewarded if we're, you know, in terms of our jobs, if we're more like them. But what I'm really learning is that they really appreciate, especially really good men, they really appreciate when we're in our feminine power and they're craving it. It. They're hungry for it. And so for women that are going, you know, kind of going into an alpha male environment, being feminine doesn't just mean, like, you know, dressing in softer colors. It really is about, like, allowing more of your creativity and your sensitivity to come into play and know that men are craving that even if they're not saying it. So I'll give an example to paint a picture. After I was on this podcast, I. A few nights later, I went to an entrepreneurial event, and it was a poker night, and it was all guys. And again, I felt that feeling of, oh, gosh, I don't play poker. How am I going to fit in? All my instincts, my nervousness, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, you know what? I'm just going to be me. Like, forget masculine and feminine for a second. I'm just going to be me. And who I am is I love people. I love asking, getting to know people. I love asking them questions. I love acknowledging people. And so that's what I did. Like, I was just me. And I got into some great conversations with people, and instead of trying to fit in, I just was uniquely me. And so for women that might be confused about, okay, how do I show up as more feminine in a masculine environment, can you think of who are you when you're most relaxed? Who are you among your soul friends? Who are you when you really feel confident? And write that down, Write how you act, write how you think, write how you talk, and see how you can bring more of that into the workplace or more of that into the environment. And also know that men. It's very new, this whole feminine empowerment thing, like this true empowerment that we're having that has no againstness against men and no againstness about women. This kind of energy hasn't really been in the world for 2000 years. So men are really confused about how to respond to that and how to show up to that and how to date that and all of those kinds of things. So I have a lot of patience right now because I know we're in a bit of. We're in a resurgence of what this feminine empowerment really is, and we're rebalancing masculine and feminine energy on the planet. And so this surge of sort of feminine energy is coming in. And so the masculine sort of like, okay, like, what do we do with all this? So I think that it's important for us to keep the againstness out of it. Watch how. Now I'm talking. Men, women. But watch how we emasculate men. And try not to do that. In fact, don't even try not to just stop doing it. And look at how we support other women so that not only can we come into balance in terms of the masculine and feminine side of us, but how can we create more harmony just on the planet?

Okay, so many questions here.

Sorry. That was a long ride.

I loved it. Are you kidding me? Okay, but the question on the tail end of what you were saying, because I do think. Especially, you know, I'm in business with my husband, and it's really easy for me to. It's easy to say things that maybe you don't want to be saying, because sometimes you get heated, and sometimes you're, you know, you forget that you're married life partners, and in the moment, you're having disagreements, like, massive disagreements and butting heads. And it's like, I. You know, I know that one of the quickest ways for me to. I'm just gonna speak really candid, like, to get my way in the past was to potentially hit him where I know it would hurt. Like, maybe emasculate him in a certain way or say something that I know would take him down. I know that's terrible. But come on, I'm being really honest here.

Yeah.

You're not the only person that does that, so. And now I'm highly aware of it. But I just want to kind of, if you can, if you do have a few examples of what maybe that looks like that you see happening all the time, that. That I think some people don't realize that we're doing to men.

Yeah. And I was married and I did this. I saw myself doing this sometimes in my marriage as well. So it was a huge learning for me in terms of, oh, wow, like, that's not such a great thing. And I think a lot of us learned it from watching it because, like I said, like the generation before, there was a lot of anger against men. Right. Because for thousands and thousands of years, the feminine has been repressed. So a lot of us are kind of buying, like, picking up on that unconscious sort of conditioning of, like, that. That repression and that anger. And so sometimes we get downright irritable or bitchy or judgy or whatever, or manipulative. That's the shadow of the feminine. The manipulation, the irritability, the cutting them down, the seductress, you know, using sex for power and manipulation, those kinds of things. So I think that examples of it are when there's a lot of bossiness, like telling them what to do, really writing them, like, did you do this? Did you do that? Da, da, da, da, da. Like, rather than asking them for help and telling them how much that. What their help provides you with and how it makes you feel. You know, there's a difference between. Did you take out the trash today? Why do I always have to remind you to take out the trash versus honey, when you take out the trash, it just, like, makes me feel, like, calm and loved. I love it when you do that. And remember to, like, make men our heroes, not just our romantic partners, but just in general, because that really lights them up. So watch when you're being that boss versus really being, you know, in your feminine. And this isn't about being like a 1950s housewife and being submissive. It's really about being receptive and being kind and staying in our heart. And, you know, another example is women's. Like, now we're just talking men, women, but women's, our brains work differently, right? So we multitask. We're thinking about a million things at once. And men are more singular, focused. They're thinking a lot of times at one thing at a time. So again, like, being on top of them being judgy had them walking downstairs and us being like, are you going to wear that? Another huge way I see women emasculate men is, let's say that we were out on a double date. You and Chris and me and my. Whoever he's gonna be, we'll call him Joe. And we're talking, and I was like, oh, yeah, if I could get Joe to take out the trash, that would be amazing. He just never does it. And I, like, throw him under the bus in a public conversation. And it's just these little things that we tend to do that really start to emasculate the man and in a lot of ways, start to shut them down. And that's how the masculine gets sort of wounded and goes more into their shadow side. They go into the shutdown, the defensive. That kind of, like, wall comes up inside of them.

Yes. I mean, I can't even tell you, just being so conscious of this more and more and more and more of how much. I mean, our communication is so clear and so much better. It's amazing what actually happens when you really, really, honestly communicate what you're feeling. And I think the only reason that in the past, a lot of us hasn't is because, number one, we didn't even realize we were doing it. Number two, it takes a little extra energy.

It does to do it. It takes an awareness and a. Not. Like. I think I had a great conversation with my friend Jesse the other night about Jesse, a woman. And she's like, I'm just aware of how much I think I know when I really don't know, and how much I make assumptions. And this is my last boyfriend that I had, like, two or three years ago. We were in New York, and it was the first time I had met his mom and his stepdad. And we're at dinner, and he's being really quiet. Like, he's sitting back, and I'm doing all the talking, and I'm inside. I'm like, why isn't he participating? Why is he laying this all on me? Why am I the only one talking to his parents? Like, is he thinking about business? Like, is he in a mood? Like, what's going on? And I was getting all upset, and I was reading the book the Queen's Code by Alison Armstrong at the time. And one of the things that I remember from that book is, is don't jump to conclusions and really listen. Like, a lot of times what men are doing is different than what we think they're doing. So we walk out of the restaurant, and I'm just quiet. And I'm not being quiet in a, like, pouty, I'm punishing you way. I'm just being present and Being quiet. And he said, you know, that was a nice dinner. And I was like, yeah. And he goes, you know, I just had to sit back and watch. I've never watched. I've never seen my mom connect to anyone I've dated ever like that before. He's like, I just had to watch. It was so amazing to see.

You're, like, thanking the stars above.

I'm so glad I didn't rip your head off, because I would have missed that.

And then, you know what? You know, there's so many times where maybe I would have jumped to a conclusion, said something, and then you would have never even gotten to that part. Because a lot of times they can go back into their. That space and not share.

Yep. They go back into their cave.

Yeah. And you miss it. Like, you complete. We completely miss it.

Yep.

That's beautiful.

Yeah.

It's the understanding of the different communication styles and that different energy and also.

Yeah.

We just think that they need to be exactly like us. Like, why can't you. Why can't you just share everything? And it's, you know, it's gonna happen in their own time, but then you have to hold space for that for them, too.

Yeah. And it kind of comes back to feeling safe inside ourselves. Right. I got triggered because in that moment, I wanted him to make me feel safe in the conversation with his parents. But, like, I could be, you know, have that safety inside of me and be really connected to that and also be in my feminine energy of expression and connecting and all that kind of stuff and love and just let him be where he needed to be and not, you know, think that he needed to make me feel differently in that situation. So, again, I think it just comes back to just being aware and taking responsibility and. And really just getting curious about how masculine and feminine energy, like, show up and work inside of all of us to maybe read some books, to look at some other people, but to know that there's no textbook. This is this, and that is that. But you can feel when you're in harmony. You can feel when you're in balance, and you can feel when you're way too much in the doing and the driving and the structure and not enough in the receptivity and the flow and the surrender. And you can also feel when you're a little bit too much in the flow and the surrender and the la la la. And you need a little, like, structure and doing in your life.

I love that. And, you know, I'm kind of thinking when I. When I really started to become aware of it. What I would do, a practice that I would do without even knowing it, and it just came up for me listening to you was I would. I would see how much longer I could go in the space where I used to be fearful and do another thing and take more action. And I would see if I could extend. Extend that a little bit more and ask for patience or guidance or Holy Spirit or whatever it is that helps you kind of just release that feeling that if something's not happening or someone's not doing what you want them to do, that you need to do something else to make them react. So when I would feel that way, I'd be like, how much space can I give myself here? How much time in between this? Where I could allow for what is meant to happen or some grace to be in here? And it would just get further and further, and I would allow more and more space in between. And that's when things really start. That's when you can allow the. The actual flow part to come in. Because it's like the ebb and the flow. And if you're constantly like, well, this isn't happening, so I gotta do this other thing or say this other thing or make this person, you know, manipulate them in this way. Like, yeah, text message them again.

That's a beautiful example, Lori, of how the masculine and feminine, like, work inside of you and how they're in harmony, right? It's like that masculine holds the space, you know, and gives yourself, like, makes you feel okay and safe in that moment so that the flow can come. That's such a great example of how. How they work together and how it's not about compartmentalizing them or choosing one or the other or whatever, but really, like, having them come in balance inside of us.

It's just that it's that faith and trust part. Part that is like, okay, well, I'm gonna have to have faith and trust that this is all going. It's all working in your favor. But if you don't give it its space, you can't even allow it to do its magic. And I truly believe it's magic and miracles every single day. And when they're not happening, it's because we are doing something to stop it in our lives for sure.

100,000 million percent. Absolutely. Like, there's just so much. Just the simple things, like catching a butterfly, you know, flying by your window, the simple things in life that are magic. And, like, we're always manifesting. Always. It's just. Are we manifesting what we want versus what we don't want. And I have found in terms of manifesting and creating things in my life, again, that harmony part is super, super important. So, you know, one of the other things that I really kind of been thinking about lately in terms of, like, relationships and masculine, feminine and everything, and this ties back to our mastermind, is, especially in romantic relationships or any kind of romance relationships, sort of projecting everything we need from the masculine onto that one person. And I have found one thing that's really helped me too, is to have really close soul friends that help me connect back into my feminine energy and also, you know, male friends, so that I get, you know, kind of my masculine fix from different people, because there's all kinds of different expressions of the way masculine and feminine express. You know, I have some friends, female friends, who are, like, super sexy and juicy and can dance really amazingly, and they mirror to me certain things. And then I have other friends who are super, like, creative and are amazing artists, and they mirror to me in that. And then with male friends, I have some that are, like, super, like, powerful, and they're all about money and structure and getting things done. And then others are super handy, you know, so it's just like, you want to have, like, people in your life that reflect all the different flavors of what this looks like and not project that, like one person or one friend is going to give you all of that.

Oh, that is. I mean, I'm like, singing over here and dancing because that is everything that. That literally, I used to use Chris for everything. Poor guy. And when that happened, I mean, in vice versa, it was like. And then what happens is, you know, it's just like your book. You have such high expectations that no matter how great this person is, they can't be everything to you. You're gonna be let down, you're gonna be disappointed, and it is going to fall apart because nobody can live up to being everything for everyone because they are not supposed to. So having this diverse group of amazing people fully allows both of you to show up just as you are and appreciate it, because you get to enjoy all of these other amazing people too. Yeah, it's really, really amazing. So, Christine, I'm so grateful that you came on today. What are you up to right now? Where can we find you? Where can we follow you? What are you excited about?

Well, I'm really excited about my inner circle membership community. And that's a way to get coaching from me. Everybod month, we focus on a quality. We want to embody. So I really love teaching and people how to heal their past. But also, what are you going to like? What new energy are you going to step into? Because a lot of times when we do personal growth work, we heal and clean up a lot of old beliefs and those kind of things. But then we need to put new programming in place so we don't revert back to the old programming. So every month in the inner circle, we focus on a quality that we want to embody. So we do reprogramming like. Like gratitude or confidence or abundance or prosperity, and there's meditations, there's daily practices. It's just a really rich community in terms of both the support and the content. So I'm super, super excited about that. And people are having an amazing time with accountability and content. And also, one of the things that I'm really, really, truly enjoying about it is so many people report feeling lonely, especially on the personal growth path, and not feeling like they have community. And I love being able to create community for people because it's so important. And then the other thing I would say is the podcast over and on with it, where I coach people live on the air, that's like, my passion and my baby. And I love, love, love being able to share that kind of work. And the people that have come on the show to be coached are amazing and so vulnerable and so courageous. So that's the other place if you want some coaching, you can listen in there.

You guys, it is so good. You must go there. I actually listened to one yesterday. It was amazing. I loved it. So I just really, really want to take a moment to acknowledge you, because I am honored to get to listen to you on your podcast, get to have known you, have you in my circle of friends, because I truly gain so much wisdom and just knowledge from being in your presence. And you are one of those people who is such a warrior, goddess of just making sure that you are constantly learning and evolving, and you're just putting that out into the world with everything that you learn because you love people, and it's so apparent. So I'm so grateful for you.

Oh, my gosh, Lori, I'm so grateful for you, too. You make me laugh. You inspire me. You have a heart that is just so huge. You're wicked smart and creative. I'm always learning something from you. And I love, love, love being goofy and silly.

Oh, man, this. This is just good. This is good. I'm gonna replay this later just for myself. Okay? All right, Mama, thank you so much. And you guys, if you love this episode as much as I did, make.

Sure you share it.

And until next time, earn your happy.

Bye everyone.

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