916. Nothing Matters Until You Make It Matter

Nothing matters until you make it matter, good or bad. So if you want to make something matter, you have to be intentional, you have to focus on it, you have to get grateful for it. You have to really bring it into focus and make it be a thing that's in your calendar or on your mind or something that you put action towards.

Hey, everyone.

Welcome back to the show. You guys, I'm so excited. It is a holiday weekend and I just literally feel it in the air. I love, love, love having barbecues and going to the beach. And by the time you HEAR this, the 4th of July will have passed. But my fam is here and that is the best part, that we are just going to have a great weekend together and enjoy each other and just really try to be as present as possible because we are all entrepreneurs, we all work for ourself. And right before this, Jackie Koch and I, my sister in law, sort of sister in law who's been in the family for eight years, but they're not married, so I just coined her my sister in law. She also has an epic podcast, you guys, if you are looking to hire someone or understand HR principles. And it's amazing. And we were just working at my workspace because they're staying with us right now. And we were. I leaned over and asked her after about three and a half hours, I said, how much do you have left? And she was like, well, essentially saying when we got home, she's like, you know, it's just, it's always there and it's endless. So you just have to decide when you're going to be done and start understanding these different pockets of your life. Right. Otherwise it'll eat you alive in your off time and you'll always feel like you can be doing more or you should be doing more. And I'm pretty sure I'm preaching to the choir right now, talking to all of you who are listening, because you're probably achievers, you're probably wanting to do more, wanting to be an entrepreneur, already an entrepreneur and scaling. And I think that that is kind of the ultimate thing that we're always dealing with is how do we be present in what we're in, how do we enjoy our downtime and how do we really be present with the people that we love when we're off of work, when there is an endless to do list in life, even if you're not an entrepreneur, even if right now you are working in the corporate world, whatever it is, there's an endless to do list in life. And One of the things that I want to share with is I really believe what I'm focusing on right now is just trying to master, which I'll never be a master, obviously, but trying to really master and get good at understanding that nothing matters unless you make it matter. So maybe it's something that just feels like the worst thing in the world right now. Maybe it's a challenge at work. Maybe it's something someone said to you, and the only reason that it is mattering as much and as heavy as it is is because we're making it matter. And I want to point this out how this can be also a good thing. So not only can it be a bad thing, because we're making small issues, big issues, by focusing on them, by talking about them, by thinking about how they could have impact or what people are saying or who else are they going to say this to. How is this going to spiral into the future? And all of a sudden we've made this small matter or this. Maybe it doesn't feel small. Maybe it's a big matter. Maybe we've made this big matter even larger because we're making it matter by putting so much focus on it. And the thing that Chris and I are really trying to do is when we start to feel this way and we notice that all of our energy is going to this thing, we try to flip it. Like, if we can't do anything about it, we try our darndest, literally, to go for a walk, to talk about something else, to start saying prayers to God. Like, we literally will go walk by the water and be like, okay, we're gonna say a prayer here right now. We're gonna say, I'm letting go of this out loud, or, I'm handing this over to you, God, whatever you believe. Like, I'm letting this go. I'm handing it over. Hand it over to the ocean. Hand it over to your dog. I don't know me. Let. Let it go. Hand it over to somebody and physically say that. Like, physically picture it. Like, sometimes I'll picture it in my hands. Like, whatever it is, like, the problem, or like, I'm offering it up and I'll just, like, hand it up. Like, literally, I put my hands out and I'm like, take it. I'm done with it. I can't carry it. It's too much for me. This is yours to take now. I trust you. You know what to do with it. You're going to find the answer for me. Thank you, God. Amen. And that's what we've been doing. And of course it doesn't go away immediately, but I feel senses of relief every time that I do that. And I want to say, on the other hand, of nothing matters until you make it matter. And this is important because sometimes we aren't making the things that we want to matter in our life matter enough by not focusing on them. So you know, if your relationship really matters, are you making it matter? Are you making sure that you're telling that person how much you care about them? But not only that, but showing, showing them? Are you setting that time aside for those walks? Are you setting that time aside for connection time? Are you setting that time aside for special vacation with them to really focus in on that relationship that maybe might propel you in your life? Maybe it's a friend, a girlfriend, a husband, a partner, whatever it is, are you paying attention to that and making it matter? Because nothing matters until you make it matter, good or bad. So if you want to make something matter, you have to be intentional, you have to focus on it, you have to get grateful for it, you have to really bring it into focus and make it be a thing that's in your calendar or on your mind or something that you put action towards. And the problem is that we tend to make these things that we don't want to focus on the things that actually matter. So what we want to do is start flip flopping that if you are focusing on something you don't want to a big problem, you have to remember, bring in the things that you want to matter and start putting your energy there and focusing on them. Once you've done all that you can about the negative, if you can't do it anymore, now it's time to switch over. It's time to switch over to the positive. Because trust me, the more you try to do something about something you can't do something about, it makes it worse. Do you know what I'm talking about? I know that you do. I know there's been something in your life that you've tried to apologize for or take back or fix. And you've already done all the fixing that you possibly could. And so somehow doing extra fixing on top of what you've already done, that you've done all that you can, just makes it worse. If there's things that can't be fixed because it's out of your control, because someone wanted to accept an apology, because someone just won't accept what you're saying, someone won't listen to your side, someone just does not like you. Okay? Don't try to fix those things because that is just going to make you a crazy person. It's just going to make your life terrible and all you have to do is flip over, flip over and focus on the things that you want to matter.

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What are the things you actually want to matter? Because you might be making things that you don't want in your life the focus of your attention and they might be the things that matter the most in your life right now. So if you're not feeling good, if you're feeling unhappy, if you're feeling like you're focusing on the negative, you're making them matter. It's time to stop making them matter by not focusing on them. Take your attention away and move it to something that you want to make matter in your life. You guys, I'm sending you so much love. I hope that you have an incredible week. I'm just always so grateful for you. I would love if you'd go over and give me a five star review and give me a review so I can give you a shout out on the podcast because I've been shouting you out every single week on the podcast. So listen in and you might hear your name in your review. I'm so grateful for you. Until next time, earn your happy. It.