92: AMP UP Your RELATIONSHIPS with Preston Smiles

Foreign. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear. Clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast and today I am over the top excited to have Preston Smiles on the show. He is a personal freedom coach and he is truly carving out his own path as an emerging next generation thought leader. He's been on the COVID of Millennial magazine with his gorgeous wife, Alexi, and he's also won the millennial mentor award by Elixir magazine. He's recently launched his book, Love Lo 33 Ways to Amplify your life. And he is making a huge impact with his own tribe, his social media following, and his unique gift to make complex ideas simple and relatable. And this is really what I love about him. If you follow him, if you know him, he truly just breathes life and love into you. So in this conversation, we talk about relationships, we talk about dreams, we talk about your happiness, we talk about finding your purpose, we talk about abundance. You guys, we covered it all. So without further ado, let's get started. Preston, thank you so much for coming on the show. I'm so excited to have you on.

Thank you. Thank you. Appreciate it.

Okay, so this is. It's. I'm one of those people in your life who I know just about everything about you, but, you know, not really through your books, through podcasts, I've met your lovely wife. But I think you and I have only briefly, like, exchanged a hug. So, yeah, I'm one of those people who just, I know all of your good stuff. Like, you've been feeding me for a while, but you didn't even know it. So for those people who maybe don't know you yet, can you share a little bit about your path and what you got or what got you started on it?

Yeah, for sure. So, you know, sometimes, especially when I'm on stages, I say for those of you who don't know or who are wondering who this six two sexy chocolate drop is. And then I say my name is Preston Smiles. And I'm a messenger of love sent here to remind us all that love is all there is, was and ever will be. That manifests itself through writing books, through making conscious content through Facebook and YouTube. I lead workshops with my love, the love of my life, Alexi Panos, and we write books together. And I do anything and everything, whatever it takes essentially, to get the message out there. Because for me, if there is going to be a, let's say Lil Wayne, there has to be a little Preston. If there's going to be a Kim Kardashian, there has to be a Preston Smiles, a Lori Harder, an Alexi Panos. I believe it's my duty to climb the mountain, understanding that we conquer. It's not the mountain that we conquer, but ourselves and stand on top and wave that flag and remind everybody that you can be super fun, attractive, beautiful, sexy, have a bunch of energy, make a bunch of money and do all of that from the space of love, having love be living from love as a lifestyle. And so that's my, in essence, that's my platform. I go straight to the source. I believe that we all have the same message, no matter what it is. And at the end of everything, I put on social media, I put I am we are loves voice because I believe that we are all love's voice.

So beautiful. So why this?

Why now?

Because, you know, especially the reason I wanted to chat with you so bad is because you are such a powerful male figure who's just oozing and preaching love everywhere. And has it always been this way for you? What woke this message up for you?

Oh, yeah, absolutely not. Not even close. I was, I've been through many stages and I've lived many lifetimes. You know, a lot of times it's so funny because we just spoke at Thrive this weekend, which was a, an event where Jack Canfield, John Asaroff, Tai Lopez, Grant Cardone and a bunch of other people who are doing amazing stuff we're speaking at. And a lot of the times I was speaking to some kids and they thought that I was their age. And it's always so funny when people find out that I'm 36, I'll be 37, I'm a grown ass man and I've lived 30 lives within that time. And so growing up, I'll say this, growing up in the 80s, they weren't very attuned to catching things in public schools. So I was having a hard time in public school and they decided to take me out of the regular class and put me in special education classes without really breaking down why I was there because they didn't know at the time that I was dyslexic. They just said, this kid doesn't learn like everyone else, so he's retarded. And then they put me in a different class. So they actually did put me in a class with children who have mental retardation. Of course, I made some stories up about myself as a 9 and 10 year old kid, that I was the dumb kid, that I was less than, that I wasn't as smart as everyone else. To make up for that feeling of wanting to be accepted, wanting to be validated, wanting to belong, wanting to be appreciated. I started befriending the nerds and bullying the bullies, and I became really good at sports, and I just dominated everywhere I could. And, you know, I got really into, you know, having all the newest shoes and clothes and all that stuff, so nobody could make fun of me. But underneath all of that, I still was a hurt little boy who, you know, really needed someone to say, no, you're a genius. You know? And so I joined a gang by the time I was 11. I started smoking weed right around then and went through many, many versions of what it means to be me, to go through all of that, to get to a place where one of my friends was killed, which sent me. I got afraid enough where I went to a different school in a different state, and I was like the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. I was literally the only black kid in the entire school. And I was like this cool alien that everybody wanted to hang out with. And I got to see at this. At this other school that happened to be all white, that we're all dealing with the same stuff that underneath all of our stories that we have about each other, whether it be gay, straight, white, black, Christian, Muslim, Republican, Democrat, under all of that is our truth, which is love. And, you know, that sent me on a pretty fantastic journey in college and getting a master's degree and graduating with straight A's and becoming sick. Enough. I got sick. And I'm just giving you the cliff notes here. I got sick. I went to a doctor because my heart was not doing well. And I finally caved in and went to a doctor at 25 years old. And the doctor said, you need to see a cardiologist. And I went and saw the cardiologist. They ran a couple tests, and I came back and the doctor sat me down and he said, he asked me Two questions changed my life forever. First question was, what do you eat? What's your diet? And I said, oh, well, I eat food. And he's like, okay, explain food to me. I was like, Well, I eat McDonald's, I drink beer, I smoke weed, essentially just drink soda, sloppy joes, drink a bunch of milk all the time. I explained everything that I was doing. Just straight junk food, just pure garbage, but it wasn't garbage to me. And he said, young man, that's not food. I was like, dude, what are you talking about? It is food. It's on the commercials. And he was like, they lied to you. And that was one of the first times where I really had that, like, whoa, okay. The second question was, what are your stress levels? Like? And at that time, I didn't even know what his stress level was because I was 25. And I explained some of my life and how what I had been being with with some family members who were on drugs and things of that nature. And he said, you're highly stressed out and you have a terrible doub. And as a doctor, I'm going to give you some pills that will regulate your heartbeat for the rest of your life. But as a citizen and as a father, I would suggest you look into both of these things. That was the same year that the Secret came out. And someone gave me a book called Ask and It is given by Jerry and Esther Hicks. And the Secret came out a few weeks later and that changed everything. And I became this super angry vegan that was like trying to, you know, that person like learns and then they're like, mean to everyone and like righteous. That was me. I was like that. I was annihilating my whole family. And anybody who would talk to me, I'd be like, why do you eat chicken and why do you do this? And I was just really just over the top and so grateful that all of that happened. Because in that I recognize that like the Buddha says, you will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by it. And I didn't realize that I had traded essentially one dogma for another, that I was just as angry as I was when I was a kid, but now I was using it and calling myself a vegan and this enlightened, woken up person, when in truth I wasn't. And that sent me on a path and all that to say that I'm so grateful for this whole journey because now when I speak to people, I'm not guessing.

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So what was the. What was the step after the Angry Vegan? Like, how do you find your way from that? You know, did you have another experience where you kind of woke up or what was it? Because it's like you said, from one extreme to the next. So where did you start to find that awakening of, you know, I guess love.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, we all talk about love quite a bit. We talk about it, and it's really just a concept. Everybody has a different idea about what love is and what that. And for me now I know that love is a choice. A choice that's to be made every day and every moment that I can bring a conscious awareness to it. But at the time, I was also still talking about love, but I realized that I wasn't actually embodying it. I read Conversations with God while I was on a train in India. I booked a movie. Side note, I was an actor and a model, and I was in Entourage and a bunch of other TV shows and stuff like that. And I booked this movie that was shooting in India. And after the movie was done, I decided to take a month by myself and just travel India. And I reached out to my Facebook family and I said, hey, guys, can you guys tell me the top three books that have changed your life? And, like, out of maybe, let's say, 20, 30 comments, conversations with God was at the top of that list every time. And so I was like, cool, I'm going to get it. So I got book one. I'm on a train in India. I'm reading this book, and I get to this place called Varanasi, which, you know, the steps at Varanasi are older than Christianity. And I'm sitting on these steps overlooking the Ganges, watching these people do their pujas every morning. And I'm reading Conversations with God and I'm just recognizing that I don't know anything. You know, that moment where you move from the know it all to the wow, there's so much more here than I. Than what was available to me before. And that was a big shift for me. So it kind of happened gradually, but that was one of the catalyst moments, for sure.

Was there something in that moment that stood out to you? Did you have like this, aha, just thought bubble sentence or anything like that that just flipped in that moment, you.

Know, during that time? No, it was very gradual. And that's the thing One of the things I teach people as well, you know, I call it first thought or God voice, right? So our intuition is always speaking, always, always speaking to us, always calling us forward. But sometimes the white noise, the ego mind is so damn loud that it's hard to hear it. And these ahas and these little knocks at our door from our higher self sometimes come in different ways. Sometimes they just come as a sensation in the body. Sometimes they come with, like, actual, like, sentences. Sometimes it's just a word, you know, and for me, it was just a calm, a peacefulness that sort of landed, you know, that thing that happens sometimes, even after a massage, where you're just like, whoa, I'm sitting in my body different, you know?

Okay, so one of my favorite things that I hear you talk about all the time is relationships. And of course, I love watching your relationship, what we can see of it online, because it's super inspiring. And I think whether it's a romantic relationship or whether it's family relationships, you know, we're coming into the holidays where relationships are going to be all up in our face for a long period of time. And it's, you know, I want to talk about embracing whatever that is and how they are our biggest teachers. So when you and Alexi met, was it something that you knew right away or how did you start to move into that relationship or nurture that?

Yes, absolutely. I knew immediately. And for my ladies out there, let me tell you something about men. When we know, we know it's very easy for us. When we know we can be very decisive when we have that, when it's clear. And so if you are dating somebody who is sort of playing the game and stringing you along, that's because you're not his one, and that's okay. I say all the time that the two and the three are just as important as the one. And, you know, the people you date before set you up, as long as you understand that your ex was your lesson and not your forever. And a lot of people get caught up in trying to make their exes their forever or the people they're dating their forever. And I was very clear, even in my process. Some people know this, not many do. I chose six months of celibacy before I met Alexi. I made a conscious decision that I was going to call her in, and I wasn't very detailed about what she would look like. She would be this tall and she would have this kind of body or any of that stuff, or her personality would be like this. It was just the essence of her. And I got very clear about the essence of who she would be and the type of person that she would stand as. And I understood a very particular principle, which is, you know, you cannot attract that which you are not. And so if I wanted my one to be a powerhouse, then I was going to have to move from that space. And so I chose to do six months of celibacy and really, really fall in love with me. And it was interesting. There was a point during that process where I fell so deep in love with me, where I was like, it doesn't really matter if she comes. And I swear to God, it's so interesting how this works. And you can find this on the Internet right now. I came out of that, and I was like, okay, I'm totally. Like, I'm really feeling me. And I started dating again, and I was messaging back and forth with this girl on Facebook, and she was going to come from Valencia to la, which is like an hour and a half drive. So we set the date up. It was a blind date. I bought tickets to a show, to a poetry show for Saturday. Now, Thursday rolls around and I fall asleep Friday. I wake up Friday morning, literally, like out of a dead sleep. You know those sleeps where you just sleep and then you're straight up, you're just immediately awake, right? So immediately I wake up and I know that she's coming. And I immediately go on Facebook and I post a picture on Instagram and Facebook of two wolves kissing. And the caption I put was, I can feel her coming. Wifey, the Queen is on her way. Now, at this point, I don't know who she is, right? But I could feel her. I just knew intuitively that whoever my one was was on her way and she was coming soon. So the next day, here comes this girl who I had this blind date with, who probably saw my Facebook post, and she knocks on my door, and I open the door, and it's an immediate no. I look at her and I'm like, no, that's not it. I knew just intuitively it wasn't it. But I also had been in the practice of getting still enough to let the knower, divine intelligence, God, whatever name is on the door for you to let God speak through and as me. And so I invited her upstairs. I went in my room and I just got still and I said, am I supposed to go? And I asked spirit, am I supposed to go? And the answer that came back was yes. And I was like, really?

Yes.

Because this is not the girl, like, I don't. You know, I'm trying to talk crap back to, you know, my higher self. And they're like, yes. So I'm like, cool. All right. So I get dressed. We get in the car. Every single red light on the way to the theater show, I hit. And about halfway through, you know that thing where you're just like, what the hell is happening? Like, dude, we're already late, and now I'm getting stopped by every red light. Like, give me a break. But I had also been teaching my clients and telling them and reminding them that there were many people who got off the plane that would have been on one of those planes that hit the Trade Center. And there were many people who missed their plane. There were many people who left to go get coffee that day before the building, the. The plane hit. And so I knew enough to go, okay, there's something here. So we get to the show. We get there, they say, we oversold the show by 10 seats. You're gonna have to stand on the wall. And I'm like, okay, that works for me. The guy takes a few steps. No lie. Takes a few steps, stops in his tracks, turns around, looks back, and there's a lot of other people there. Looks back at my date, and I. And says, actually, you two, I'm going to put two more chairs down on the front row. So he puts the chair down, two chairs. I sit on the outside. My date sits on the inside. I look at the stage, I look at my date, I look back at the stage, I look back at my date, and next to her is Alexei. And in that moment, I said, holy crap, there's my wife. I knew it instantaneous. There's my wife. And so the rest of the show, Alexi and I had been introduced, by the way. Alexei also had tickets to this show for another night, but her friend traded her the tickets, and she was late, so they put two more seats down on the front row. And it was like all of these synchronicities that had to happen for us to be there at the exact moment in time that we were. Funny enough. For her, it was not love at first sight. She thought that we were going to meet for business. And I was like, totally planning.

You're my wife.

Yes, exactly. Totally planning our wedding.

Look, I have your face already tattooed.

Yep, exactly.

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That is amazing. But you know, the part that I'm just so just that I'm still just reeling from is how you. It's those moments where you just feel crazy and you're pushing and you want this thing to come, but then you realize no, it's almost like you got. You have to release it and go to work on the thing that you know is your center, is your foundation, is that thing that is going to just light up from the inside out and actually be like, you know, the lighthouse that attracts that person or that love in your life. And I think just how you're attracting Alexi and romantic love, I think it's the same for everything. Like that same thing can be applied for business, for other relationships, for mentors. So do you apply that same idea when you are, especially when you guys are working together now for, you know, attracting and pulling other people into your life?

Absolutely. One of the main principles that we teach, and it's also in our book that's coming out pretty soon, now or Never, is that it's not our job to make it happen, it's our job to welcome it, to become the space for creativity, to become the space for love, to become the space for harmony, to become the space for Peace. And so welcoming it is where the work is at, you know? You know?

Yeah, that is so powerful. And it's. There's so much freedom there. So what separates us from welcoming it?

Comparison thinking, playing the should game, a lot of us are mainly living from shoulds. We have this idea that life should be a particular way and life is not actually quote unquote fair. Life just lives. But we've gotten so caught up in thinking that it should be a certain way that we're in resistance. And whatever you resist, persist. And that creates a whole other set of ways in which the universe starts to manifest. For me, the game is always to surrender, is to choose, but don't want. Have my eye on the prize at the top of the mountain. But I also understand that just like in my new iPhone 7, if I type in, let's say I'm in LA and I want to get to Arizona. If I type in Arizona, there's a million routes to get to Arizona from la. But if I'm so stuck and so rigid on thinking that it needs to look this particular way, then I'm going to screw myself. The game is to choose but don't want. It's to claim and declare and then play. You know, one of the main things that we do, and we do it all the time, literally. Before I got on this podcast, we did what I teach all the time, which is we schedule in play every day. I take time, it's in my schedule to get on a skateboard or on a bike or go surfing or to go tickle and tackle and touch Alexi's butt. And we play every single day to remind us of that innocence and that none of this stuff matters. All of it matters. And none of it matters.

Okay, so I'm gonna bring it back to relationships because I feel as though we can. Because I don't know about you, but my relationship is constantly my best teacher, my biggest reminder, constant reflection.

Yep.

That when I'm sabotaging myself, I find it's, you know, it's easiest for me to sabotage him and push him away. It's the craziest thing. It's so talking about that. And when we're living off of what we should do and what things should look like, I feel like we just have this idea, I remember first going into my relationship, of what a relationship should be like and this shouldn't happen, and this argument shouldn't happen and we shouldn't be this way, and we should just be connecting and this should be this. Oh, my gosh I mean, it could go on and on, and now it's like anything that comes up is just an opportunity. But I want to talk about getting to that place because I've been with him for 14 years, married for 11. It took me a long time. But I want to talk about how she's a constant reflection of maybe bringing different things up for you in your life.

Absolutely, yeah. Being in a conscious relationship, it's so easy to be in an unconscious relationship. In unconscious relationships, you know, we're victims to everything and we just get to blame and then run away and then attract somebody else and then have the same thing come up and then blame them again and run away. But when one chooses to be in a conscious partnership, we call ourselves partners. In shine, that means that we also embrace the dark side. We also embrace the shadows. We also understand that there are things, and this is like, for real. Like, there are many things. Alexi and I both talk about this that she brought to the relationship that happened way before me. All I am is the lighter fluid for those things to flare up and vice versa. So prime example for Alexei growing up, school, education, reading was really awesome. And like I told you earlier, for me, education was the worst thing on the planet. Every time they asked, who wants to read aloud? Me being the dyslexic kid that doesn't really know how to read like everyone else, that was like torture. And so a year ago, we were reading an article together on the computer, and she said, are you done? Because you wanted to scroll down. And I said, yes. And then she kept going. And take in mind, I was on the first sentence and she was already done. She reads, like, super fast. And so she said, are you done? I said, yes. So she scrolled down, she kept reading. And then at some point, I just said, baby, I lied to you. She's like, what do you mean? And I said, I just lied to you. I said that I was done when I wasn't because I didn't want to feel stupid. And that small example, there's lots and lots of those that come up. And she constantly is mirroring for me all of the places where I get to still lean into in my own consciousness. Yes, Relationships. Greatest workshop I've ever been to. It's a constant reminder that it's not the load that breaks us down, but the way we carry it. Everybody's going to have stuff. Everybody's going to have arguments, they're all going to disagreements. All of that stuff is contrast. It's fantastic. But how you carry it is the thing. In the beginning, we had some conversations around the way that her parents, when her parents argued, that meant that there was going to be a divorce or a breakup. When my parents argued, that meant that they just argued and that was it. And so we were looking at arguing from two different vantage points. And so it's not the load that breaks you down, but the way you carry it. And so having to and getting to communicate creates so much space. Like a lot of people, and this is a side note, but this is so true for me. A lot of people, especially now, are looking at what I'm up to in the world and they're saying, preston, wow, like, over the last three years, everything has taken off for you. And I attest a lot of that to this relationship because we are like amazing workout partners who get to have sex. Like, we are constantly raising the bar for each other. And because of that, because we're so committed and we know that this is not a to me conversation, but a by me, but a through me, but a as me conversation, because most of the world is in to me. They are victims to me. Things happen to me. And then entrepreneurs and people who get independent say, buy me, you know, I create my reality. But for Alexei and I, we're playing and choosing to play in a through me as me conversation, where it's like, how do I need to be the vessel? What needs to come through me in order for me to tap into my highest good and be of service not just to our relationship, but to the entire planet?

So do you ever find. Do you ever feel yourself maybe on days where you're not feeling it, or maybe you are feeling bad about something or some of your past is coming up? Is that a conversation that you bring up right away, or have you ever felt yourself kind of sabotaging your relationship?

Oh, yeah. I mean, that's just what's going to happen. That's a part of. We're all in the people business. Nobody gets out of being with people in relationships. Like, it's all. And yes, the answer is absolutely yes. I find that those the feminine. And I'm not talking about body parts right now. I'm talking about those who choose to operate or are more inclined to operate from the feminine, tend to be more expressive with their feelings in any relationship at any given point, whether it's a guy standing next to me at a coffee shop. But let's just take my woman, for example. At any given point, we're always diving in between the masculine and the feminine. And Balancing it out for me, I've found that a really good way to go about expressing some of the stuff that's up for me is not necessarily expressing it right away, but just breathing into it and speaking to somebody who can hold that kind of conversation that is outside of my relationship. Because, you know, we have quite a few clients that come to us and they say things like, I'm just not attracted to my husband anymore. And upon further investigation, it's because that they're experiencing themselves as being in the masculine role so much that the husband isn't as sexy, you know. And ladies, ladies, you know, if you want your man to be in his masculine, you have to let go of some of that. You have to drop it for a little bit. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. And, you know, little things like letting him open the door for you supports him in tapping further into his masculine. And if you celebrate it, oh, he'll do it even more. And so for me, in my relationship, when things do come up, I tend to just breathe into it and observe it rather than be at the effect of it. And then if it's still up for me, let's say 24 hours later, then I'll reach out to a mentor and have a conversation with him. And after that conversation, if it's necessary for me to bring that to Alexei, then I will. But I find that a lot of times it's always. We're always in a relationship with ourselves. And so there's quite a few stuff that if I was being reactive, I could just blame on her, but that's not the case.

I love that that was. That brought up so much for me. Just. I've noticed in the last year, I've been really trying to get out of make it happen masculine mode, because as you're building a business, you can tend to really go there. And then it's like, I never get out.

Yes.

You know, even if Chris and I are kind of scheduling our day, we always schedule walks. We try to make sure we're flipping outside of business mode. But if you are not consciously kind of stating what your intention is and what you want and that you do want to flip into that, it's like, it's so conscious for me that I have to literally have a conversation with myself or I'll stay in it. And then I'm like. It's like I'm no fun for anyone, not even myself. I'm like, just like, let's, okay, go to bed. This is when it's Scheduled. And this is. I mean, it's not even. We forgot how to play. So I love that you say you schedule in play because, you know, we look at when we're building a relationship and that's all we do is play, right? We laugh, we kind of tease, we have fun. And all of a sudden you get in this relationship where that's all stopped, it's all done. Or maybe you're driving, especially if you're driving towards a goal sometimes, right? It can be like, we must get here. This is our goal. And I think that, you know, the most beautiful things have happened when we've scheduled play back in. So I think more is actually occurring in your life when you put the fun back in. Have you noticed that too?

Oh, big time. It sparks creativity. It sparks everything. It makes everything better. That was one of the things we spoke about for our talk at Thrive a couple days ago. Because entrepreneurs especially can find themselves, and we've been guilty of this a million times, working. We'll start working at 7am and at 9pm we're still going and still in front of a computer, especially Westerners. We've gotten this idea that hustling hard and working a million hours, following Gary Vaynerchuk and all the other stuff that's being put out in the world is actually mean something. Like, it doesn't mean jack shit if your family isn't feeling loved, if you aren't experiencing joy. What is it for? Because any mountaintop we climb to, we may celebrate for a little bit and then we'll choose another one. That's how life works.

My husband came back from a lunch the other day and he just went with a few amazing guys. And he said, we were talking about at the end of our life, what if the one question that God or whatever higher power, whatever you believe in asks you is, so, did you have fun? Like, what'd you do? And you're like, well, no, I was hustling, I was working, I was trying. It's like, no, what if it's just about having fun? Like, that is when the best ideas come. I just found you can. It's like you work in such shorter spurts, especially if you're, if you're anything, I mean, to bring back these ideas that you get when you're out having fun, out being creative, out seeing a need, out seeing people, what's really going on in the world, or you get inside this bubble and then it's just your thoughts. It's not the, you know, you're not really Even tapped into the collective or the ideas of what's really happening right now. So that's beautiful. I love that you do that. So what about Preston? Those relationships that just constantly test us so maybe they're in our lives, they seem permanent. They're the people that we can't necessarily get away from, and they're constantly a challenge.

Mm. Yeah. Those are awesome. Those are fantastic. I'm so grateful for those because they teach me and remind me boundaries. They remind me of the places where I still have work to do and be. And so I know that one of your last podcasts was on people pleasing, and that's a big one. We think that we need to be there for everybody just because, you know, we share the same DNA. And that's not. I don't play that game. I don't play that game at all. You can. Loving somebody doesn't always look like flowers in the park. Truly loving somebody sometimes looks like setting boundaries and letting them hit rock bottom so that they can have their experience of what it means and what their actions and behaviors are doing to you and the family. And so, you know, I like to remind myself all the time that just because I'm not busy doesn't mean I'm available. And a lot of people have the experience where they're like, oh, I have time and so. And so wants to hang out, or my mom keeps calling me and I feel really bad. So what? So what? Find ways to set boundaries for yourself. Because when it's all said and done, everything is energy and everything is touching everything. So if every time I hang out with, let's just say, a cousin of mine who is, let's say, vibrating at a particular level, that doesn't feel good for me, doesn't feel good, but because they're my cousin, I feel some type of obligation or I have some type of expectation or some type of should attached to it, then hanging out with them then drags me down, and then I go home to my wife, and now I'm in that energetic space, and I drag her down, and, you know, then I enter into my business, and I'm operating from that space in my business, and then, you know, I get on the stage and I'm speaking from that space on the stage, and like, all. Everything is energy. So you can choose to surround yourself with. And I'm not. I'm never a proponent of getting rid of anybody, per se. Now, if somebody. There's blood family and there's chosen family, some people have circumstances where they need to walk all the way away. Some people have circumstances where it's just not conducive or healthy to be around a particular person, even if they're your mother or your father. And then there's some of us who have family members who are just kind of annoying and say sexist and racist stuff and they're voting for Trump and things like that. All of that is perfect. And the Trump thing was a joke. I love that he's here.

He's offering us things.

Yes, he's offering us all kinds of contrast and perspective. But with all that said, a remembering that no problem can be solved at the level of consciousness in which it was created. Einstein said that that if someone in your family keeps coming in, let's say at fire, you cannot solve that or be with that from fire. And so choosing air or water over and over again offers you a new space, a new perspective. And so that, from a practical tip, I would say that. And you know, on a whole nother level, just if you don't have to be around them, set some boundaries and choose to get curious about people. I also find, and especially with the holidays coming around, that if you choose to get really curious about how people are operating and why they say what they say and just keep overriding whatever's happening in the moment for curiosity and wonderment, that you may find them to be more intriguing than usual. And so, you know, you're at Thanksgiving and your uncle who always says this, sexist jokes, you're just like, hey, Unc, when's the last time you were in love? And get curious about that. Like, what's under that? Oh, he's hurting because his heart was broken, and this is his way of coping with it. By making sexist jokes interesting, then you might find some compassion. And when you meet him with compassion, then he may stop saying the jokes because he finally feels like he's seen and heard by the family. There's like, you know, everything is touching, everything.

Oh, that's amazing. So you guys are coming out with a book?

We are.

And you're doing it together. That's so awesome. I can't even. Wait. So what brought that? What made you decide to write it and write it together? And what's it about?

Yes. So the book is called now or Never, and it is published by. Is being published by Simon Schuster. It comes out on December 27, and it's the Fundamentals of Artwork. So Alexi and I have a company and a philosophy called the Bridge Method, and we teach that in Australia mainly. But really, all over the world. So in Australia, we do the bridge experience in Australia, New Zealand, and we'll be there also in 2017, the early half of 2017. And then we have a 12 week online training program called the Bridge Method. And this is the fundamentals of the work that we teach. And now or never is the fundamentals, but with really fun stories and super practical tips and insights on how to apply these things in your life and shift everything.

So are these the things that you have basically based your relationship on as well?

Yes, but it's not a relationship book. It is in essence a how to sort of manual on how to raise your vibration, how to take everything to the next level, and that includes relationships.

So are you feeling super called to this right now?

Oh, yeah, for sure. It's just so important, you know, like I think that, that a lot of our society has bought this idea of more, better, different. We're always looking for more money, a better car, a different spouse, a different this. And we've been trading things in and just looking for more, better, different and more now than ever. I find that people are slaves to this idea of increase. And increase is fantastic because all of nature is always reaching, you know, like the plants even in our house are always reaching towards the sun, you know, but there comes a point when we become slaves to those things. And so this book, this message is so important because it's a reminder and a wake up call for those people who have done a bunch of personal development stuff but don't really understand why it still doesn't feel good and why no matter how much they achieve, Alexei and I both know people who have millions and millions and millions of dollars who are absolute slaves and still aren't happy. And so it's clear at this point that that's not the money does not equate happiness. But yet, and still most of our society is chasing money. We're chasing things, we're chasing cars. We want more, more, more, better, better, better, different, different, different because we keep looking for that dopamine hit, the same one we were looking for when we were, you know, kids looking for a new Barbie or a new Ninja Turtle.

So how can we welcome in abundance with trying to disconnect from needing more, monetarily speaking?

Yes. Back to it. It's about revealing. Everybody's trying to become something, but it's a matter of revealing, revealing what's already here. And so when we, when we get present to the beauty, to the magic, to the, to the pure, you know, joy that's in this now moment, everything shifts, everything changes. It's like putting on, you know, rose colored glasses in an instant. And, you know, abundance is not something you get. It's not a destination. It's something we live from. And that, to me, is the game. The game is, can I feel and experience how powerful this now moment is while understanding that I'm a vessel? Our gifts and talents are not ours to keep. They come through us so we can give them to the world. But there's a difference between being a competitor and a creator. There's a big difference. And so for me, you know, it's about moving as fast and as efficient as possible without rushing or being in a hurry. It's about being the tortoise and not necessarily the hare. But most of our society is operating like the hare.

So do you. So the question from an entrepreneur's standpoint, maybe it's somebody who is, you know, maybe a newer business, or maybe they're trying to break through the ceiling of their old business. And maybe they are, you know, a spiritually rooted entrepreneur. Do you set goals? How high do you set your goals? How do you detach from them? Like, how. How do we set the goal to grow, to move higher? Especially if we are trying to. Maybe we want to make a certain amount of money and then release that and still stay rooted.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. It's like there's a fine line. There's a fine line. It's back to it. It's choosing but not wanting. Like, oh, I choose that. And then I also am surrendered enough to know that the universe is always giving us. Three answers. Yes, not now, or I have something better. But most of us don't want the I have something better. You know, it's like the person who's wanting to attract, you know, love into their lives, but they're so clear that it needs to be, you know, you know, tall, dark and handsome. And they miss that. All around them, everybody is knocking on their door, asking to experience love that, you know, they have friends and family all already being the love in their lives, but they can't see it because they have. They're so fixated on being in. On having it come in a particular package. So.

I love that. I always think that I'm like, oh, if it's not coming when I desire, when I put that goal down, I'm always like, oop, he's making me wait. This is gonna be good. The anticipation is buildings. Yes, something better is coming, and it makes it fun that way. And it truly does. From what I've seen, I believe that's just been. My path has been to learn patience and to see how. How beautiful it can get. Because it. It becomes mind blowing when you start to just understand that whatever is coming into your space is so perfectly made for you, so divinely made for you. So is there anything right now that's really kind of top. I don't know, just maybe in your mind, maybe testing you that you're working through, that you're trying to see with more love?

Hmm. Yeah. You know, there's quite a few things I've had recently. Some things are changing and, you know, there's more eyes on what I've been up to. And, you know, Lori, I've been doing this for seven years straight, and I was doing it when nobody was watching, with the same type of passion, with the same type of fire in my belly. And now there's a lot more people watching. And because of that, some people. And this is not just for me, but this is for everybody, some people want me to fail. I can tap into it. And most of those people are people who are committed to me being the preston that I was 10 years ago. And so. And I've been really breathing into and sending love to those people because there are a lot of people who are, you know, who've been close to me in the past, but they're not comfortable with me, you know, rising into my kingdom in the way that I am. And the more that I step into it, the more uncomfortable it makes them. And so reminding myself that we're all on a journey home to the self, that we're all doing the best that we can with the tools that we have available in any given moment. And that it's not my job to come after people about hating me, because then I'm just doing the same thing they're doing. And so my job is to keep loving. My job is to be the reminder for myself first and for the planet that that is all there is.

What are some things when you feel that way, when you just forget? Maybe, you know, because we can. When we just forget our path or forget who we are. What are some questions or foundational things that you do to just connect back in?

Absolutely. Well, you. You hit the nail on the head for me. Powerful questions call for powerful answers. And I'm always asking and doing my best to ask powerful questions like, you know, what good is here that I presently cannot see? You know, in any given moment, when you're experiencing yourself really low, you can ask that question, what good is here that my sight is not allowing me to see? And then you wait. You know, one of the most famous questions that a lot of people say, and I use it as well, and I got it from conversations with God, which is, what would love do now? And now? And now. Ah, okay, that person cut me off. What would love do now? Oh, that deal didn't work out the way I thought it should. What would love do now?

So what are. What do you and Alexi do daily, too, besides play? Do you guys do any of your rituals together?

Yes. So we. We do something called a gratitude kata, where we marry the breath with the body. We stand up and we essentially do like a sun salutation and breathe that in back to the heart. Then our arms go back in the air. And then we say, gratitude for God, for divine intelligence, for the Great Knower. Then breathe that in and back to the heart. And then we put our arms straight out in front of us. Gratitude for all people, no exceptions. And then we breathe that in and then back to the heart. Then my arms go straight to the ground. Gratitude for Mother Nature, sustainer of all life. And then we breathe that in, feeling into it, back to the heart. And then we turn to. And we take one step and put our arms forward. Gratitude for the. For the future, for infinite possibilities. And then we breathe that back in back to the heart. Then we turn the exact opposite direction. Gratitude for the past, for everything that has brought me to this now moment. And then back to the heart. And then we take a step to the left. Gratitude for the masculine, for that which is direct, for warrior energy. And then back to the heart. And then last one, we turn to the right hand side. Gratitude for the feminine, for flow, for goddess energy, for creativity. And then back to the heart. And then back to the front where we started. Do a sun salutation all the way back to the heart. Gratitude for myself for being with it all so beautifully. And then we just breathe into that. And then we start.

That's so beautiful. I truly felt it. I don't know if you were doing it while you were doing it, but I felt it.

I was.

I was like raising my head up. Wow, I love that. That is such. It's beautiful because it's also physical, so it moves you kind of into your physical body, so it's connecting everything and just getting you really into. Into the present and into the moment. That's so gorgeous. So what are you most excited about right now in your life?

You know, babies.

That's awesome. Oh, my Gosh, I love that we.

Don'T have any yet, but there's been. There's been. I mean, I'll say this, there's not a baby in the physical here yet. But there has been a little girl that has been following us for quite a bit. And I can feel her just like I felt Alexi coming. I can feel her too.

Oh, my gosh, that just gave me chills because I have kind of a crazy story. Like, I'll share real quick. We went to Costa Rica and we were on a retreat, like a self development retreat. And we had done some crazy deep meditations that at first I was a little bit like, whoa, this is, you know, this is a lot for me right now. And then we did it a second time. It was like an hour each time with all these, you know, really deep breathing. So I was getting super lightheaded. But within the craziness, because it was all beautiful. It was just so outside of my comfort zone at the time. It was like. I literally swear I saw my baby's face and I was like, whoa. Because at the time, I wasn't ready for a baby. And then Chris and I were just talking because we always just play around with the idea and we were talking about what we'd want to name it. I was like, I think it's going to be a boy. And I love the name Sol. Like, Sol, like solace. So then like three days later, him and I. So first I see my baby's face, like during this meditation or so I think if this is too much for you, I love it. And then at dinner, so we're like the very last day of this retreat, Chris and I are sitting at a table with like 20 other people, and this boy who's 10 years old comes up and he's really cool. Like, he's like this surfer, like this kid that you're like, oh, I would love to have a kid like that. And he taps us on the shoulder randomly and he goes, hi, my name's Sol. You guys look so cool. I'm not even kidding you.

I fell out of my chair, Chris.

And I just.

I was like, I. I can't even. So that was like a year ago. And him and I are thinking of having kids in like a year or two. But I just thought that was the. When you welcome it in, when you're playful, when you're. I don't know, it's just so interesting. So I'm so excited for you guys and I feel it coming. And we'll see If I stick with that name.

But yeah.

Yeah, I feel like I have to now, you know?

Yeah, you kind of do. You put it out there, but we'll see. You'll know when. When. When he or she appears, for sure.

Absolutely. So thank you so much, Preston, for coming on here. I so appreciate you and I always feel like I get such incredible wisdom that is so rooted in love and it just. It feels amazing. So thank you for what you are doing. You are so appreciated.

Thank you so much. I truly appreciate it and you are freaking awesome. And I love you and I love your tribe and thank you for having me on.

Oh, thank you. I have one last question for you. So I always close with a question, and that is you are on an elevator, it's only for 30 seconds, and you're on there with a stranger, and they look over at you and they say, how can I make myself happy? What do you say?

Honor your breath. Be here now. That's it.

Beautiful. Thank you so much, you guys. If you loved this episode as much as I did, make sure you share it. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to help helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye. Bye.