99: How to KNOW IF YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT PATH

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Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. And it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in Inspiration. That's how we elevate our lives. So if you just woke up and you're not feeling so hot yet, I am so glad that you are on here and that you are ready to fill your ears, your eyes, your heart with exactly what you need. So seek it out today so that you can uplift level, upgrade those thoughts. Right. So there is a quote from the book the Alchemist that says when you want something, all of the universe conspires for you to get it. Isn't that beautiful? And it is so true, you guys. I live by this so much and so does my husband. He actually has almost this exact quote on his forearm so that he can see it every single day. And I also get to be lucky enough to view it every single day. And I know this is so true, that whatever we are thinking about the most is being given to us. So whether it is something that you are desiring or whether it's something unconsciously, even though you think you're thinking about something that you want, but unconsciously underneath, you know that your beliefs are still around something else or you still don't think you're worthy or you still are not feeling right about something. So if there is something on your path or that you're desiring, how do we know when we are making the right daily choices? How do we truly know when we are on our path? What does that feel like? Well, I was just watching a bunch of super soul Sundays. I just love to go and do that to get inspiration because I love myself some Oprah. Anybody. Did you just hear her like yelling while Tom Cruise was jumping up and down on the couch? Hopefully you saw that episode or I sound crazy. Okay, so I was listening to one with her and Carolyn. Miss, I believe that's how you say it. And they were talking about, what does it feel like to be on your path? And Carolyn says it does not feel like you have to compromise yourself. So when you're not on your path, you feel like you are negotiating your intention, integrity, and you feel like you're compromising who you are. Feels like it's costing you of your power. You feel like you're losing yourself. So I really thought about this in my life, and I thought about all of the times where something might have sounded really good and it might have felt bright and it might have looked shiny in the moment. Right. And when I really thought about it and everything that entailed and maybe the people that I had to be around, I thought, you know, these aren't my favorite people. They don't really have the mindset that I want, but I'll do it because it's just this one thing that I have to do to get to this one place. And I know I could probably do this and keep up with it. Except if it feels like you are compromising yourself or your integrity, it may not be exactly where you should be going. That might be that thing that says off course. Right? You might be on course. On course, on course. And everything feels pretty good. And you're like, yeah, this choice feels good and that feels. Feels right. And this makes me feel happy. And. But all of a sudden something is like, this does not feel good. Or, you know, I just spent all day with people that I had to fake laugh or I had to not say how I actually felt or stay really quiet about my beliefs, or I felt like I couldn't actually even get my real authentic personality out. Right? You feel like you're losing who you are, so what's the difference? And I love that they were chatting about this. What's the difference between a real compromise and between betraying yourself? Right. So let's talk about in a relationship. So I think about this with my husband all the time. So what's the difference between when I compromise with him with something that maybe I don't want to do and betraying myself? So when it's a compromise, they were talking about how it's a feeling of willingness, right? A feeling of willingness. And it's like saying, well, it's not necessarily that I want to do this, but I'm willing to do it out of love for this person because I really want to invest in this relationship. And I also want this person to feel supported. And it's a feeling of willingness out of Love where you don't feel like you are letting go of who you are or you're becoming a different person. You're just trying something new on out of love that maybe is pushing you outside of your comfort zone in order to invest in a relationship, in order to really show that person that you are supporting them. So I love that because there's so much that we do in relationships, right? There's so much that Chris does for me that I know that he does not want to do. For instance, last year I signed him up for a retreat in Costa Rica. Now, that man Chris likes to stay in nicer hotel rooms. He does not love to camp or be in the woods or have a lot of bugs or things like that. And I love that about him. So funny, because I'm from, like, way up north in the woods, and I was totally that girl who like, camped and played in the woods and did all that sort of stuff. So he's brought amazing things into my world. So, anyway, back to Costa Rica. I booked this retreat for him, knowing it's going to be so far outside of his comfort zone and also not really giving him all of the details because I knew he wouldn't go. So that was kind of, you know, maybe not so awesome on my part, but he said yes. And he was like, I am doing this for you because I know it's important to you. He's like, just know this is not my favorite, but I'm doing this because I love you. And he went and I said, you know what? Because you said yes, you can just do whatever feels good to you here. So if you don't want to show up for certain things, or if you feel like you need to go home by day three because you hate it, go for it. Like, that is totally cool with me. So he did this compromise for me, and it ended up being one of the greatest things that he said that he has ever done. And I do this for him, too. So when it's from a place of love, when it's really a decision, you know, made from a place of love, like maybe it's me traveling to a bunch of football games. And I know it's like, oh, that's not that challenging. But I don't love to travel, and sometimes I just don't want to go see a ton of other football teams. But I know that that's important to him, that he just wants to have his wife there and he wants to go and have fun. So if it's from a place of love, it's not like I'm losing myself or losing my time or saying I compromised again. We have real discussions around these. Sometimes it's gonna be a no and you have to talk about why. It's because, you know, maybe you feel like you are going to lose something in your life that you want to be doing or that you've committed to. So it's really important that you have those conversations. And another topic that came up on that particular episode was Carolyn and Oprah were talking about how they feel like you're never on the wrong path ever. It's just that you're on your path. That's all there is to it. You're on your path, but you may not be making the right choices. So whatever path you're on right now, go ahead, look down at your feet. Whatever path you are on right now is the exact right path. And this goes back to asking yourself, how do I feel with this next choice that I'm going to make? How do I truly feel with this next choice I'm going to make? Am I compromising myself? Or is it something that I really wanna do out of willingness and love? Or does it feel like it's totally off course? Is it not sitting right? Am I feeling completely drained by the choices that I'm making and the people that I'm around? So I wanna tell you guys, there's a difference between being tired and exhausted in a beautiful way and being just mentally and emotionally drained where you cannot function and you don't know how you're going to go on. Now, I've definitely been in both situations where sometimes you can be overworked when you are on your right path. And that can be a sign that, hey, even though you're on the right path, something's going wrong here and you're overworking, right? Like maybe you're just over committing. So ask yourself, is it the people? Is it what I'm doing? Am I over committing? Because I have to tell you on a day to day basis, I go to bed and I feel the best form of tired. I'm tired and I'm exhausted. But it's because I feel so purposeful. So there's a difference. So really ask yourself, do I feel drained every day? Am I just literally getting plugged into by other people and draining the life out of me? Or am I tired because I am doing something that is so full of purpose and I'm expending so much amazing energy? Right? So you're never on the wrong path. You're just making the wrong choices. And I love that. Brene Brown says, you know, when she was doing her research for her book, I believe it was daring greatly. She said, I thought that there were two kinds of people, those that were authentic and those that were inauthentic. And she said, you know, that's really not the case at all. It's that there are people and there are people who choose to be authentic. Right? You're a person and you're either choosing to be authentic in each moment or not. It's a moment to moment thing.

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So that goes back to talking about your choices and how you know if you are on the right path. It's like, well, are you showing up authentically? Does it feel good? Does this feel like a fit? Asking yourself every single day, how can I show up just a little bit more in this area? So if you're in a job that you cannot change right now, maybe you start looking at how to change it. But while you're waiting, you ask yourself every day, how can I make a more authentic choice? How can I show up more me? Right? How can I show up more me? So it's a day to day thing. It's a day to day question. And honestly, not even day to day, moment to moment. Right? So it's a practice. You have to ask yourself, am I on the right path? How does this feel? Who am I around? How does it feel to be around this person? What does this job feel like? Am I really making the right choices in this job? So that's how you become more intuitive. That's how you start understanding if you're on the right path or not is just asking better questions. So I love that quote about the quality of our answers come from the quality of our questions. And I don't just think it's quality. I think it's the quantity of questions that you ask yourself every day. And I always try to ask myself questions that are very positive. So questions that help me feel empowered instead of questions like why did I do that? Why am I making bad choices. Instead it's how does this make me feel? How could I show up more? How could I be a more loving person? How could I love myself more in this moment? How could I be more authentic? How could I start feeling more like I am on the right path? What would make me feel good in this moment? So it is quantity and quality of your questions are going to get those quality answers every single day. So you guys, thank you so much for listening in and I appreciate you more than I can possibly say. I'm so grateful to have you in my tribe. I have some really amazing news that I'm very excited about. I I'm going to get my book published. I'll give you more info very soon about all of the exciting news. And until next time, you guys, I just want to say your love and support is so appreciated and I'm grateful for you on this journey every day. And if you love this episode, I hope that you share it with your friends and that it helped you feel like you are more on your authentic path. Have the best day you guys. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye Bye. Thank you guys so much for spending spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye Bye.