A Simple Framework To Get Through Any Challenge Fast

I'm looking at my life right now, and I'm happier than I've ever been. And there's a lot of ingredients that go into that. But I'm realizing as we're talking about this, the way that I quickly accept things and quickly find why they're happening for me and the way I quickly move through them and address them is a huge reason why the past couple years, I've been the absolute happiest I've ever been.

And we're back with another episode of He Said, she Said.

I'm still cracking up about your story.

What story?

Well, all of our cars are either in service or, like, at the different homes. And I told you I was renting a Turo. I was like, what is this?

And all of a sudden I'm like, what is pulling up in the driveway right now? Chris, Harder. Is that a Ferrari?

Well, if you're gonna rent a Turo, you know, enjoy it.

He was like, I want to drive a Ferrari. All right, well, I'm gonna go buy a purse now.

See ya. See? Okay, wait. That's the segue to what we're doing is you just had to accept the pain and move through it quickly.

That has nothing to do with what we're going to talk about today. But I like that you tried it. So I have been picking up the book the Universe has yous Back here and there, just because there's, you know, some of those books where while you're reading other books, you just want to go and read something that, you know, every page has, like, a little nugget for you. Because this week has been really busy for both of us, so I've been a little bit of a squirrel. So I need a book like that. I need, like, a book where it's two paragraphs, and I'm going to get something out of it. So one of the. The pages that I've been reading was a lesson that I absolutely loved from Gabby Bernstein years and years ago that I don't think we can get reminded of enough. And when I read it, I was like, oh, my God, I'm so glad that I read this right now at this point in my life, because not only do I need it, but I feel like it was a great thing to chat about with you. And I know your mom's going through some stuff, and so the lesson is to really look at what's happening in your life and all of the challenges and to be able to name the challenge, AKA name the lesson, and then accept it. So let me Talk about why this is important. When you name a challenge, it stops seeming like a challenge that's happening to you.

What do you mean by name it? Can you clarify for me and start.

Seeming like a challenge that's happening for you? Yes. So let's use your leg, for example. Okay, so his leg has been in some pain just the last couple days. He's been lifting and then sitting, which is like the recipe for nerve pain. And I said, all right, let's try it on this. Like a random one like that. So if this was happening for you, what would it be like? Name that particular lesson. What could that lesson be about?

If you're asking me what's the positive that could pull out of this because it's happening for me, it'd be to start doing more proactive care. What's the word? Like before and after care. When I work out, when I'm active, in order to be able to sustain this as I get older.

Okay, so if you accept this lesson, will this pain most likely go away?

Yes. And will it likely come back? Probably not. If I actually accept and execute the lesson.

Yes, if you really, truly accept it and embody it and say, this came for me to say, hey, if you don't start taking care of yourself, you're going to get some debilitating things down the road that could really stop you in your tracks for what you want to be doing. And so it's a great example because it's a body example. But if we even did this in business, like it's something, let's say a lesson.

Okay, great.

Let's happen to me. Yesterday, we run our elite mastermind, and when we do those three and a half day retreats, we blow it out. Like the most detailed, extravagant planning and experiences ever for the members. Right. And there's a method behind the madness. I'm not going to go into that right now, but the point is, it takes us months and months and months to plan for the one coming up. And because the plans are so special, you have to, like, lock in venues and make sure they're locked in long, long ahead. Now, this thing is in two and a half weeks, and I found out yesterday from my event planner that all of a sudden two of the venues weren't locked in. And I won't go into details, but let's just say mistakes were made. Two of the venues that we thought were locked in for months were not locked in. And here we're two and a half weeks out and it takes forever to plan these special Things. So I wanted to blow up, I wanted to rage, I wanted to freak out. But I literally accepted like, okay, this is the reality. How can I quickly move through it? So I pulled the whole team together on a zoom and you know, three hours later we had just as good of an experience planned with two brand new venues. And when I look at that, I could have dragged it out for days. I could have dragged it out making it painful first for the rest of yesterday instead of getting everybody into action so quickly and then start working on it today. And all that would have just been dragging out pain and maybe causing more problems by compounding the problems. So I think this is kind of what you're getting at is I accepted it. I still don't know what you mean by the name it. I think it's more like frame it. I framed it and then I moved through it as fast as possible.

Well, it's frame it and name it. So let me explain the difference. Like framing it is saying, okay, it's almost like this is what's happening and then you're figuring out how to accept it. But naming it is the positive part where you say, okay, I think this is happening for me because. And honestly, I think it happened for you to get an even better venue. Because you did. Now you paid more, but it is in fact better venue. A way better venue was the big promise that you gave to your people that it would be an absolute mind blowing that they wouldn't even be able to be at technically on their own.

And we hadn't found this venue before.

So I actually think that that's the name of it, is it was happening for you to get something even better.

Yeah, no, I see it clearly. I see it totally clearly. And my favorite part, moving through it quickly. Why prolong it? In the past, I would have prolonged things. This leg pain or the business pain. Right. The planning pain, I would have prolonged things and made them worse. I would have. I used to be a compounder of problems in the past. Now it's like immediately, okay, it is what it is. How do we fix it?

Yes.

And that naming it, framing it, whatever. And moving through it quickly and accepting it. And accepting it. Yeah, the accepting it is the best part, by the way.

It is.

I accepted as having nerve pain. So I spent an hour and a half with my trainer today having him fix it. I accepted that. Okay, we don't have two venues. We thought we had and we fixed it right away. Yeah, the accepting it is the best part. I think the pain of anything lies in not accepting it or fighting that it is really going on or happening.

Like, what you could have done by not accepting it is you could have powered through on a leg day.

Yeah.

And so just thinking it in terms of when, when you're a workout person, you don't want to miss a workout to stretch you guys. Especially when you're about to go on a weekend of speaking and you feel like I, you're like, I need to be in my routine. I want to make sure I'm getting my three lifts in a week. So how you could have not accepted it would be to power through another workout.

Yeah. I would have said, hey, let's ignore legs today and let's just do upper body.

Yeah, totally.

But instead I dedicated the whole session to, okay, let's fix the real problem.

And this goes for hard conversations. This goes for so many.

Really goes for that. Yeah. Oh, you know how long people drag out problems and compound them up? There's the dogs dragging out a problem. Oh, this really happens with hard conversations. Like people really drag out the pain by not having the hard conversations. And they really compound the problem by not having hard conversations. If they would just name why it's happening for them and immediately accept it. Now, you move through that thing quickly and it's going to be easier. Even though it feels tough right now, it's easier to move through it today than it will be tomorrow.

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I believe from my experience, avoidance is way harder than any conversation. Because the way that hard conversations go or accepting anything is realizing that the initial pain feels like a tidal wave. Like it, it's a wall facing you. It feels like it's going to take you down, but it truly doesn't. It goes right. It's like that emotion swells. It's really, really high. It feels horrible. And then as soon as you start talking, it's about one to two minutes for it to dissolve and then you're already into it, you're already in it and you're like, okay, we're getting through, we're getting through to the other side. Doesn't mean it's going to get fixed right away, but it does mean that you're already into solving the problem.

It's so. I mean, listen, this is basic, but I'm looking at my life right now and I'm happier than I've ever been. And there's a lot of ingredients that go into that. But I'm realizing as we're talking about this, the way that I quickly accept things and quickly find why they're happening for me and the way I quickly move through them and address them is a huge reason why the past couple years, I've been the absolute happiest I've ever been.

Uh huh.

Same.

I've been making sure that I'm not avoiding things in my life. Because I'll tell you that the avoidance is the thing that stacks up in the back of your mind that drags all of your energy.

Yep. Okay, so what are we going to do with this new knowledge?

We're going to take every challenge that comes our way and we are going to name and frame whatever is going on, accept it and move through it.

Can't wait till the next time something like crashes for you and be like, Lori, Name it, Lori. Name it, frame it.

I'm going to give you two middle fingers and then I'm going to name it and frame it.

All right, thanks for listening, guys. Always love and appreciate you. And by the way, we've been hinting around at something that we're building for next year, something that Lori and I need. So, you know, build what you wish existed. And we actually silently or secretly talked about it to your girlfriends and business crowd, you know, the 60 women there in person and they freaking loved it and ate it up. And a whole bunch of people signed up, even though it's not public to sign up yet. So I know I'm being cryptic, it's just that I don't want to give you the details yet, but I promise it's the most life changing thing in the world. If you want your best network you've ever, ever, ever, ever, ever had in your entire life in a hurry for all of 2024, do me a favor, just text us the word dinner to 310-421-0416 and we'll start sending out information on what it is, that's gonna be the easiest way to do it. Text us the word dinner to 310-421-0416. Oh my God, I'm so excited about it.

All right.

We're so grateful for you and we'll talk to you next week.

Adios. It.