Audience Q&A: Friendships, Marriage, Scaling & Personal Branding | LIVE Living Room Session

Everyone wants big, everyone wants fast. And it just is so not true or real. It's fake. Nothing is built that way. And if you see it built that way, it doesn't last. And if you see it built that way and it is lasting, they're usually dying. Hey, everyone, welcome back to the show. This is another really fun episode. If you don't know, we have been doing some some live podcast recordings and we are calling them the Living Room Sessions. And when I say we, it's not just my other personality. It is with one of my best friends, Lindsay Schwartz, who has the Powerhouse Woman podcast and she also has the Powerhouse Women event. You guys, it is so much fun. So this is actually part two of our first Living Room session and it is the Q and A portion. So I don't know about you, but I actually love the Q and A portions when I listen to live recordings because it's so much fun to hear just the different questions that are coming up from the audience. And so many of the questions are also questions that I have when I sit in audiences and want to talk to the people who are doing the thing that I want to do. So I hope you love it as much as we loved recording it. And it's so much fun. If you get to ever come to one, you get a shout out. Obviously, if there's anyone you resonate with, go follow them. And you guys, we are recording this at the Good Vibes Media Studios and you can go follow them on Instagram, go check out the show notes they also have. If you are in the Arizona area, in the Phoenix area, you can absolutely get memberships to be able to use their recording studios, their photo shoot studios, their video studios. Pretty much anything that you want to do in media, you can do it here. I do photo shoots here. I will be using this for the launch of my product. For all of the videos visuals, you guys go and check them out. Check out the show notes and let's get started. So what are you going to hear in this episode? You are going to hear questions about keeping up with demand when you're scaling your business. You are going to hear questions about finding groups of friends who you can feel more connected to during your business journey. There are questions about setting expectations with your partner when you're going after what you want to go after. There are so many amazing questions. I loved it.

It.

And let's get started.

All right.

We are going to do some Q and A because we want to hear from you and your question. You will actually get featured on our podcast. Both of our podcasts as well, which before we dive into the first question and tell you how this is going to go, I actually just want to take a moment to acknowledge. Lori just hit 1000 episodes on the earn your happy podcast. I mean, that's such a huge milestone, you guys. And I was messaging you this this week that your podcast was such a huge impact. Had such a huge impact on my journey. How many of the rest of you you listened to earn your happy? I mean, I see Lori and Chris, like, every day, but when I look at the podcast, it's literally like their two faces are the ones I listen to still consistently. It's huge.

So thank you guys so much. And it's from so many. I have to actually also acknowledge Nikki Butler in the room too. She is my podcast manager. And I will say, since she's come on, I just. I have so much more fun because when somebody. When you find someone who can truly let you go and fly, and she gets my crazy brain. I sent her three voice notes today. I have four I haven't listened to from her. When I find someone who you just mutually respect each other and you find a workflow, because that's very real, you guys. It takes some time to find your workflow, and she's given me grace, and I'm just really grateful for you and the work that you do, so thank you.

And she actually does both of our podcasts. She's the best, so the best. Hit her up. So who wants first dibs at first question? All right, Ashley, right in the front. That's easy.

Hello. Thank you. Okay, Ashley Brookstrand here. The Instagram is SSU Network, which stands for she speaks up for her faith, her family, and her dreams. So I'm in this crazy transition. I'm a mom of three. I have a one year old, just stopped breastfeeding.

Free boobies.

Kitty freedom. Is that allowed on the podcast? Not this past powerhouse, but the one before. I got the Bliss Tribe book because you gave it to us. And I was like, I'm going to fricking do this. Because it was coming out of the pandemic and it worked like I found friends. And then I thought that that was just what I wanted, but I realized I wanted women that got me right with these crazy dreams. So now all of a sudden, that I'm in momentum, right? My business is blowing up and I can't keep up. I'm like, oh, no. I thought I just wanted mom friends, and I have all these mom friends wanting to Go have park day and coffee day. And I'm like, oh, no, I don't know if I just want that. Like, I don't want to talk about diapers and what brand is the best. So I found some close friends. One is in the room, and we are. I found my two running buddies. I guess the question is just, is it okay to, like, just let go of all the what I thought I needed and just be okay with what is?

Well, I'm not a mom, but also I feel like this. Can everyone can, like, put. Like, I thought that I needed this and now I need this, and that's okay, too. And if there's something that that community, just go and give it some. Some thought. Like, maybe you journal about it or just think about it. Maybe that's all you need is to say, hey, is there something that this is serving? Like, maybe I do need their support in certain areas. And maybe I'll meet with them once a month, right? Like, maybe that. Maybe it's once every two months. Like, you want to keep that connection. Maybe just to have it for. Maybe they give you really incredible advice when you're like, what is this diaper rash thing? How is this happening?

Sometimes you need that.

Yeah, sometimes you need that.

The hardcore moms.

And that's okay, but from what I hear of my friends who are mothers, they use it for the season that they need, and then it's okay to go forward in another season, and it's totally permission to do whatever you need because otherwise you're holding onto relationships that actually aren't serving you, and then you're not serving them. So it's serving no one. You know what I mean? If you're half. Have you guys ever been half in something where it's actually, like, kind of harmful or hurtful to the other person? Where you're like, I know this is not for the long haul, and I know it's eventually going to end. If you're kicking the can down the road, freaking kick it now. Like, kick it off the cliff, because you're only going to cause more harm later. So I feel like this actually wasn't. It's all trial and error, right? Like, we don't know what we need until we actually experience, like, oh, nope, that wasn't it. And that's the hard part. This is where it gets challenging.

I think the deep fear is like, you know, on my deathbed, who will be there? You know, and obviously that's why I'm such an advocate for your family, if you can. But it's like, okay. Like, they'll be there.

Okay, that's a great question too. But when you create these friend groups, it sounds like you created the friend group in a season of, like, momhood. Like, this is based on momhood. So now you have your business friends. Yeah. They make not be there on your deathbed. Like, these are the people you're building your business and your websites with. But sometimes they merge. Sometimes they're the same thing. So when you recognize, oh, that's a mom who, like, I really actually just. My soul's happy there, then make time for her. Or that's a business person who. Oh, my God. Like, we actually. Business is 25% and soul is 75%. Like, that's the deathbed friend. Right. And so they'll start popping up within these subcategories. And sometimes they won't, but sometimes they will. Right. Cause we only really get, like one to three of those. So when you spot them, keep them close. When you spot them, keep them close. So on your journey, don't necessarily, I mean, set an intention that you would love one of those, but if it's not there, don't force it. It'll come in a walk that you have one day with them, or it'll come in, like a business meeting that you have where all of a sudden you guys are just something will. Lightning will strike. Just like with a. It will.

Just like with a marriage.

It will strike. You're my business, and you'll be like, I have to share something with you. And I just. Thank you so much for being here for me. This meant more than I can tell you. And that's when it gets real. So hold the intention and it will happen. Thank you so much.

I think we set ourselves up for failure if we expect any one person to be a part of our journey forever. Especially if you're an evolving human being. If you're committed to evolving really fast, then pay attention to the relationships. And this is actually something. Your book gave me such massive permission because I'd never really thought of that before. I only had the model of growing up in the Midwest and everything was very family centric, which I love my family. But our friendship started as a business friendship and evolved to where we do just as many holidays with the harders as we do with our blood relatives. And that just happened naturally. We didn't force it. We didn't try to make it that that way. It just was that friendship that we were like, oh, we want to keep investing in this. So it's kind of evaluating season to season. Do I want to keep investing time and make the time for this friendship? Do I want to make sure this is a part of my everyday life and how can I make that possible and let it be okay? If when you ask yourself that question, honestly, if it's a no doesn't mean you're a bad person. It's safe to evolve. It's safe to evolve out of relationships and it doesn't mean that they're not important to you, but it might mean that that how that relationship looks in your life is evolving as you do.

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No matter how you look at people in relationships, there's always insecurities there. Like, even the most amazing marriages, they're amazing because they share their insecurities frequently. So they say what they need and they say where they're feeling insecure. Like, I. I don't know if a week has gone by with you on a run where I'm like, hey, maybe I'm feeling more like I'm needing her more than she's needing me in the relationship. Maybe it's a. You know, last year for me was really, really hard in my business, which I'll be talking about more later. But just a major pivot is happening right now. And I was leaning on her so hard that I was like, hey, I just want you to know I feel like I am vomiting on you a lot and it's making me insecure that you are gonna leave because I have abandonment issues with prior female relationships. And I'm like, hey, if I'm like, saying too much. But that's what a real relationship is, right? Is being able to just be so real and vulnerable. But also for her to be like, hey, I don't know if we need to talk about this anymore. Like, let me help support you through having to process this for the hundred millionth time.

I actually never have a problem when she says it. I'm like, oh, thank God she's human.

Yeah.

Oh, thank God I have those same insecurities. And no, actually, if you could, what did I tell you the other day, I was like, you're not even coming close to annoying me. If you could actually voice text me more, that would make our friendship better.

But I say these things because the most important thing on the deathbed friends or on those relationships, even the business friends, right, is to say where you're at and what you're struggling with. Because when you hide them or when you, you, you try to cover it up, it's gonna be weird and it's gonna be misunderstood. So, hey, here's where I'm feeling insecure. Like I'm actually going through. And there has been more back and forth between us around. If I'm going to kind of fail or get triggered in this relationship, here's where it would be. And we're saying this all before and during and you know, because attorneys have to get involved with all these things and then it gets weird and you're like, hey, on the back end. Here's where I'm at. Here's what's happening. The more real you can get. And if people can't handle that, you shouldn't be in business with them and you should not be on one of those deathbed friendships with them. Do you know what I mean? So let yourself be seen, let yourself be heard, be so real and raw. Because if those are not your people, they're not your people. If they make fun of you, if they call you out, if they put it on social, awesome. You get to be on the fast track of learning, right? So cool when that happens. God's like, hey, you can get torn apart in public. Have fun. Like, thank you so much. This is awesome. But you've never learned faster. Yeah, you've never learned faster than when someone, when someone judges your character in public, you've never learned faster. When somebody takes something that you were vulnerable with and uses it against you, you've never learned faster. And those, that's when I know you're all on the fast track and that's why you're all in this room right now.

So true.

Such a good question. Thank you for kicking us off with that. Who has the next one? Don't be shy. We know you have them. Samantha, in the back.

Hi, I'm Samantha Montalbano. I am an email copywriter. So I do freelance writing the last three years, but I think right now I'm in this season where I have 3 year old twin daughters and I feel like I'm coming out of the early stages of raising them. And before them, I was a lot More vocal on putting myself out there on social media, on the Internet, like, and since having them, I kind of was in my cocoon season. And right now I'm in this weird in between where I understand the value of a personal brand and growing that. And I'm going to be launching a podcast too soon. But I'm feeling uncomfortable where I don't feel the. But it's like, I think now that I'm like, and I just turned 30 and. Okay, Lori, you probably won't remember this, but I remember I was 20. We've known each other for a while and you looked at me and you told me, just imagine what you're gonna be like when you're 30. And I don't know, for some reason that stuck with me when I was 20. And I remember that. But I think that I'm, of course, at a different place than I thought I would be. Who can relate to that?

But.

I think that just, I'm understanding of who I am and my gifts and I'm such a. I love supporting and I have that drive and I have that entrepreneurial drive, but I don't. I'm in this, I've always felt, in this weird place where I love using my gifts and supporting someone else. My question is, I'm torn about what a personal brand means. If I. I actually want to grow one, I hesitate to show up on social media. I'm all about email. I can grow my email community. I know how to do that. But I still just. I'm torn about showing up on social media, basically.

So I want to give you perspective too. Like, I just want to say, I was like, okay, imagine where you'll be when you're 30. And this maybe isn't where you imagine, but I also want to flip it for everyone in this room who is. Chris and I have put our businesses first and we've been. This is just so vulnerable. We've been trying for a baby for like three years and we haven't been able to do it. And so now we're jealous of people like you who have the babies and have the life. And we're like, ah, God, maybe we did it wrong. So I wanna give you perspective on saying we're like, maybe we did it wrong. And looking at people like you going, they did it right and now they have all this space. So, yeah, it's all good. And so with that said, number one, you're in the perfect fricking spot. That perfect spot. We all are. I am, too. I'm at such Peace with it. I'm in the perfect spot. Because for me, I was a shit show at 30. Still, like, you're way ahead of me. Way ahead of me. So with that said, and there's no. I had her behind, like, it's all. It all just is exactly where you're meant to be. And we always look back in 10 years and go, oh, that's why that happened. Oh, that's why that happened. So. So first of all, I just want to say that second of all, a personal brand is really. We think it's like, oh, my God.

We'Re going to be reaching all these people.

Honestly, when we first start out, let's just reach the people we are excited about reaching. Like, that's what a personal brand is. It's personal. Let's just make it personal. Like, hey, if this reaches you today, awesome. If it doesn't f off, like, great. No, really, someone commented on my stuff. Someone commented on my stuff the other day and Luth, like, you know, like.

Like an Instagram post.

You don't give a lot of backstory. Yes, Correct. Right. And when people post things that I'm like, okay, context, people, like, we all don't know each other. Everyone has trauma. All the things I was like, you're deleted forever because you don't get to come into my world, which is my page and comment. And that's just my personal take. So for you, if protecting your energy means to block all of the people that are bothering you in this season, where you need your energy to be very important for your children, then a personal brand to you means just to talk to the ones who want to hear you and block everybody else. Like, your energy is really important right now. That's why for moms, I'm just like, okay, what does it look like to grow your business, but put those babies first or whatever is most important and, like, your healing of your body and yourself and all of the things and protecting your energy, because I didn't realize how important that is to, like, keep that all sacred until you kind of, like, get a little glimpse of it. And so a personal brand to you could just be like, hey, I just want to talk to 10 women today who hear me and block everybody else. I'm being so real. Your energy is so important. If anybody messes with that, if it looks like blocking, deleting, who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Get rid of it. Because your energy is sacred. So I think that if you have something to offer and you know that, and you do, then three people is Enough. One person is enough. Ten is enough. And we all know that if you show up every day, that's gonna grow. It just does. And I think that, you know, you have these gifts, which is why everybody in this room has these gifts. We all do, everyone on the planet. But you guys are just more attuned to them. You've done the work to be in them. So I think for you, like, just every. You guys, these living room sessions are starting small because we want to talk to our core people. This is, like, really important to us. So start small, you guys. The power of small is everything. Everybody wants big now. Everyone wants big. Everyone wants fast. And it just is so not true or real. It's fake. Nothing is built that way. And if you see it built that way, it doesn't last. And if you see it built that way and it is lasting. They're usually dying. No, I'm being so real. I've gotten the inside scoop.

They're dying.

They're dying inside. They have zero friends. They think that their world is social media or their email list, and they're literally killing themselves. So don't forget the power of, like, small community and remembering what's sacred to you and keeping that protected.

There really are. There's so many businesses that they don't have, like, a human being as a personal brand at the forefront. There's. There's so many different ways to build a business, and we get to choose. We ultimately do. You know, your personal brand can be powerful. And, yes, there are sacrifices that come with it. It's a big responsibility. And so it is really, really beautiful that you're asking this question, especially now, entering this season as a mom, is how do I want to look at the next decade of my life? I'm coming up on 40, and so I'm, like, having these bigger conversations with myself, like, what do I really want the next decade to be focused on? What do I want to look back and be really proud of myself for? And so it's. It's just a beautiful place. Allow yourself to ask these questions. It's probably because you're coming up on, like, a new decade that you're starting to ask these deeper questions, and that's the perfect place to be.

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Okay, who's next?

Lindsay hi, I'm Lindsay Fricks. I am a real estate entrepreneur. I invest. I'm an agent. I'm also a coach and new to Mastermind Facilitation So very exciting. My question is more about the role. I was really hoping to ask this when Elliot and Chris were in the room, but here they are.

Go ahead.

So my question is really around what role does your spouse play in who runs with you? And what do you do when you're out of sync and you're running faster or slower, if that may be the case, than your partner is? I think that that's something. In my house, my husband has more of a traditional job, and I'm in the entrepreneurial space, and I tend to be running 10,000 miles an hour. And although I think he's running a fast pace, we're at different paces. So how have you handled that when you've come up against that in your own relationships?

Ooh, this is good. I'm actually really glad that they're here.

Yeah, me too.

I am. And I always bring Elliot on the podcast. Some of my favorite episodes that you and Chris do are the ones of you two together. This is such a big topic and in our relationship. So Elliot is a new entrepreneur, brand new entrepreneur, and I'm like, let's give it a woo for that. While he's stepping out on his own, he has been a part of Powerhousewomen. Little did you know there was this gorgeous beard behind Powerhousewomen this entire time. I know. Shocking. But something I struggled with was, is it safe for me to evolve? And I didn't realize that this recurring theme, this recurring fear I would have to really deal with is this fear of outshining and outpacing people that I love. Now, looking back, I project that onto all different people in my life. I've projected it onto, like, business partners. I had a season. It was actually when I made the first big financial breakthrough I've ever had. I woke up one day and I had this fear that logically, I knew wasn't true, but in my body, it felt so real to me that if I became too successful, he would feel a type of way about that. Now, anyone who knows Elliot knows he has never done anything but be my biggest supporter. He actually, like, pushes me when I'm like, babe, my goal for this launch is X. He's like, but what about 3 times X? He's always pushing me to think bigger. And we have to be really mindful of what's real and what's. What's our upper limit, what's trying to keep us within our comfort zone. So I had to be honest with myself. Where. Where am I projecting fear onto this relationship and have that honest conversation with him. And when I did, he literally was like. He almost like. I imagine he. He didn't do this, but I imagine he, like, patted me on the head and said, like, oh, that's so cute. And he goes, babe, you. You know what I used to tell my friends in high school? I used to tell them I was gonna marry of a lot. A model who was a millionaire. And so. And it was, like, right around the time I had just been on the COVID of so Scottsdale, he goes, I know you were on a magazine cover, but you're not a millionaire yet, so you're not quite getting close to, like, making me feel inferior if you could actually work harder. And I was like, got it. But that's our relationship. We have this humor dynamic. Right? I love Snortlab. Oh, that was epic.

It makes me so happy.

But it was exactly what I needed because I was making it way too serious. I was projecting my fears onto him and not having those open conversations. Now what it looks like is we are two very different people. His work schedule looks very different than mine, and I had to realize and uproot all the places where I was maybe bringing judgment into the picture of what his work hours look like or where I was really just. It was fear of, is this safe for me to be this ambitious? And instead of acknowledging that fear, I was projecting it onto, like, well, he maybe isn't supporting me or. I never felt that way. But I see this a lot in where this comes up in relationships. So I think it starts with honesty of communication. Hey, I'm feeling really vulnerable right now. Is it cool to, like, have these conversations with you? Can I just admit some things that I've been feeling, they may or. And I had to say to him, you did nothing to cause this. I think I'm hitting an upper limit. My growth is starting to trigger some really deep fears, and I just need to talk it out with you. And so once we kind of establish that ground rule, then it's opened the door for us to have these really beautiful conversations. But I had to look at where I wasn't willing to just be on my own journey. I was wanting him to be invested in the same personal development and interested in the same things as me. That would be so boring. I mean, it really would be the fact that he plays Oculus in his underwear and his Uggs. Have you ever watched my Instagram stories that make. Let me just say, that adds some flavor to a relationship. Right? But it really does. But I had to look for, where is this Actually, the fact that he was willing to stay in his corporate job that he did not love for all of those years literally set Powerhouse Women up to thrive. And I had to start voicing that to him and making him know how big a part of Powerhouse women he was, because he was making the choices that he was. So when we started to shift our perspective and look at, instead of like, this is my business and his job, and then we've got our real estate investments over here, we started to look at our household income as like an investment portfolio. So great. We've got one income stream coming in here, we've got this other one. And we started to have conversations about our investment portfolio. Right. Our income portfolio, and started to really approach it as partners. And that for me, I think changed everything in terms of the perspective of what roles each of us were playing in that dynamic and what our future goals were together. That these different, you know, revenue generating projects we were working on, including his W2 job when he had it. How is this helping us get closer to our goals?

It's literally holistic. Like, it's. You have to. We always are looking for our match. Like, we're excited for like when people are like, they're just like us or oh my God, they relate to us so much. That's actually not what you want in a partnership. So in a business partnership, you actually want your opposite in your relationship, you actually want your opposite, but the same on many levels, but your opposite in terms of like where you guys are really like taking care of what needs to get done in a life and a relationship. And you know, I feel like I've gotten to have the bird's eye on a lot of different friendship. A lot of my girlfriends, relationships where they're struggling and they're like, oh my gosh, I just, I wish my husband was more into business or personal development. I'm like, actually I'm kind of like, if they were, it might be a really bad thing for you because you kind of need that limelight and that freedom to go run. And he's kind of really great with the kids and maybe you should appreciate that he's so good. Which I can say this all just looking in on it, right? Of course, if I was in it, it'd be different. But from an outsider's perspective, it's like you have somebody who's doing so the opposite of you that it's letting you go and be that. So how can you go find your running buddies where at home is getting taken care of or Maybe the bills are getting paid and you don't have to look at it. Oh, my gosh, how amazing is that? Or, you know, maybe there's a lot of logistical things getting taken care of that you're not even thinking about, you think is boring. That's actually quite sexy because it's allowing you to be sexy out in the world. You know what I'm saying? Like, there's a lot of women that I have met who are like, oh, my husband, you know, he's at home and he's doing all these things, and I'm going and doing all these things out in the world, but I wish he could be with me. I'm like, do you know what it means to have your husband with you? Because that's going to require hiring a lot of help to cover a lot of things that you need. And if that's where you guys are at, like, if you both want to run, then let's talk about who's taking care of all the things that have to happen to let you go run. So appreciating that person for who they are and what they're doing. And, you know, Chris and I have grown at different rates all of the time. For the most part now, we're still kind of growing at the same pace. But in the beginning, he was the person who is in his career, and I was just like the wife, to be honest. It was just. I was in the Midwest, and I was just working and doing different jobs and got married, and I was the wife. That's what I thought I was gonna. So when he was out in the world doing his career, it was like, how can I support him? What am I doing at home to feel valuable? And what does this look like? And then all of a sudden, when he lost his job and everything collapsed in the world, and he was in finances in 2007, 2006, and all of a sudden it was like, oh, my God, I have these dreams and these big desires. And also his job at the same time, has collapsed and actually, actually for real, completely disappeared. And his identity disappeared with it. It was like, what do we do now? And there was an identity fight. Right. I think the most important thing in a relationship is what does that spouse want? And what do they need to be like, who is their identity really, truly, to the core, and how can you support that? And then also saying out loud, truly, who is your identity to the core and how can you support that? And if your identity is the same, how can you guys support what needs.

To be Supported at home.

And so if we have like these heart to hearts with our best friends, with our partners, with whoever that is that we're running with or who we want to run with, especially our partners, and we say, what would this look like fully in this relationship for us both to be fully us? And that's a crazy thing to talk about because it might require external help, right? It's like I actually want to be the star as well, whatever that means out in the world, right? I actually want to be out in my career and be growing this as well. And that's where the friction comes is when you're both not talking and you're like, well, it's my season to support them, even though, you know they're the rising star, even though I'm kind of rising over here on Instagram or in my business or whatever. No, what does it look like? If we both got to fully live into our identity, what kind of help would we need?

Need?

How much would that cost? Who would that be? How soon can we get the support? Who's running faster? Who's creating more income right now? This is a real conversation. Who's creating more income right now to get the income to help support this other person that we need? So these are the really real raw conversations, like, hey, who are you? Who do you need to be in the world? Who's making more money right now? How can we support this? What does that look like? And there's trade offs, there's different times where you're going to run faster, you're going to be bringing in more money. So he's going to need to support a little bit more, vice versa. But that's where you have to just like let go of the ego and say, if we both have that. Here's the thing about relationships, you guys, if you can sit down and say, do we both have the same North Star? Are we both committed to the same goal? Then if we are truly both committed to the same goal, here's the path right now that is most important. Here's the path that is most logical and that's the game that you get on. And then that is when you're truly on a team. So in football, right, it's like, okay, if you're really all committed to the super bowl, then it doesn't matter who gets the credit for what, right? It doesn't matter who's the star of that game. It's like, who's the most important in this game? Is it defense or offense right now? Because get the Heck, out of here. If you're not the most important in the game, let that other person shine. And that's truly the. Our husbands, for the first time this whole time, are nodding for the first time in this whole podcast, are like, football.

I know. I was like, look at us using football references.

Okay?

Like, if you're on the team and you need to start viewing your partnership and this is, like, truly so important, if you're committed to the team's goal, that's when you view it as a team, and you let go of what you need right now and you say, what is the team's goal? And this is what we're committed to. And the families and the relationships that I see, who I strive to be, like, they view their family unit as a team, and they say, who's most important on the team right now? How do we support the most important person on the team?

So we have time here. Maybe two more questions.

Hi, everybody. My name is Ashley Delrosario. Instagram Chefash Delro. So call me Chef Ash.

Wait, does she do all your stuff?

Yes. Oh, my God, yes.

You're welcome. For the snacks. I had to bring them. So I'm definitely at. I mean, 2023, pivotal transition, all the things just insanity going on. I started to go back to school and study nutrition. I'm trying to add value to my people that I have in my circle already. And I am at just, like, a crazy part in my life where I trained with this company and I learned performance, nutrition, and cooking for some athletes. And it's kind of, you know, they come and go, they're, okay, we're getting signed over here. We're getting signed over here. It hasn't really been fulfilling like I thought it would. And so now I have this other part knocking on my door. I have busy moms with kids wanting food, and that's never really called to me, but it's been, like, consistent, and I'm trying to incorporate that. So I'm trying to change, like, what I'm doing during the week. But then I have this other side of me where I do retreats, like, for you, for Clarita, for so many people that I see in this room. So I travel, like, every month. I have a retreat for the rest of the year booked, but I'm trying to figure out what to do with my weeks when I'm not traveling or whatever it is. And I don't even know if I need an assistant or if I need a sous chef or how to even expand what I'm doing.

So it's kind of like. It's so unique.

How do you scale?

Because I love being personal with my people, and I love building close relationships, and that's been, like, so, so important to me. And that's what I've learned that I love most about what I do. And I'm so glad. I quit my 9 to 5 job three years ago. And you are my first retreat. We have a whole. That's a whole nother conversation. It's a whole story. So I don't even know where to transition and where or how to do that.

So exciting. It's so exciting. Who else is feeling, like, that pain of, like, you know, you're ready to go really big, but how the f do you do it? Okay, a couple of you are feeling that amazing, right? Because especially what you do is so personal. And anyone who has not experienced this woman's cooking. I have never felt so loved by a meal. Truly. Anyone who has experienced her food is why we bring her in to cook for all of our retreats. Anyone who hosts retreats. What's your Instagram handle? Go ahead and shout out.

Ash Delro.

Yes. We literally met because she tagged me in this beautiful meal that she was eating when we did our virtual event in 2020. And I was like, like, do you want to come cook for a retreat? And the rest is history. Really?

Yeah.

So how do you scale after this point? What would be, like, your first?

I totally have. I had many feelings on this right away.

I just. I'm mostly hunger.

I'm glad you brought me these snacks. So I'm thinking about this from a perspective of any business. And I would, if I had your problems. Cause they're great problems to have have. I would say, who is bringing me the most income? Who is that?

I would say. I mean, retreats are number one. Okay. And like I said, every month, I have at least one for the rest of the year. And my sports players. So nutrition, because you can charge higher them as well.

Yeah.

So professional sports, but like I said, they come and go, and it's not a personal connection that really feeds me. What do you do the most?

Which ones?

My personal. Personal connections and my meal prep clients that I've actually cooked for for years, which Raquel is one that I've met through you. I've been cooking for her for years, her and her family. And that means a lot to me, and I love doing that. And I kind of want to maybe find families that I can just have that core relationship with.

All right, so you need to look at your business as who can bring you the most income and what's also fueling you, because that's where you'll spend your personal time. But then for everything else, you need to get it on some sort of optimization. So something that is not personalized, it's for more of the masses. So, like, the busy moms that kind of said, like, hey, this is our core meals. This is what you're gonna order. You're not gonna get your time. Like, maybe you get on the phone in the beginning, like, hey, this is what we have. But the things that are fueling you and can bring the most income is where your energy needs to go for scaling. But then also you need to have something where you're like, yeah, but there's this big crowd of people that I don't wanna leave out. So you need to find a part of your business you can optimize and make just something that they can click. They can find the menu. It's easy. You don't have to touch it. It's like one and done. And then, you know, maybe your retreats as well, maybe you start creating things of. I know that it gives you a lot of, like, energy, but maybe you start creating your three plans for those retreats. So it's like, hey, retreat one. This is more small. This is more intimate. This is gonna be what it looks like. This is for x, y, 1, 2, 3. Like, start creating those set things where it takes less of your energy. And then you can go in and still give all of your energy in a personalized customer service way. But to be honest, it takes the guesswork from people like Lindsay and going, what do you want? We've got one or two. Oh, my God. I love when people give me only two options.

That's true.

I love it.

I almost burped in this thing.

I love that we have it. That would be a first. And I would love it.

I love that about you.

Cashews. I don't know.

In kindergarten, I burped the Alphabet, and it was very popular to all the kids.

And that's how she became the successful.

Kids today in two burps, by the way.

Yeah, well, and the other thing I was thinking about, and this. This is relevant for you. I read now I can't remember what book I read this in. It's one of two books, so we're just gonna go with one of these. But the story stuck with me. This is the thing to take away. So it was talking about, like, how do you actually Scale, when you are the product, because you are your magic really is such a big part of why people want to work with you. And the story was about this famous painter. Now a painter in the same way is you would think, well, only that person can create this painting. But what it was talking about, I think the book is called Clockwork. I think that was the one I read this in. Don't fault me if I'm wrong on that. But it was talking about how this painter was specifically good. So when he got granular, the thing he was specifically good at was painting faces. That was the thing he could do unlike anyone else. It was his signature. People knew that it was one of his paintings based on the facial features. So he actually. This blew my mind because I thought, like a painter could never outsource parts of his paintings, but he did. He actually outsourced the rest of the painting. And he specialize in painting only the faces. So if we translated this to your business, I, as a client, I've both ordered meal prep from you, and I've also had you come and prep food at our retreats. You've brought your amazing sister in law. And I honestly wouldn't know if someone cut up the vegetables that I was eating. But there are parts that you can't outsource that are your magic. So it's answering that question and then asking, okay, who can I mentor? Because I know your heart really is for seeing other people succeed. Who could you mentor that would love the opportunity to work underneath you? And who could come along and support you? Who also has a heart for people that could take things off of your plate that don't have to be you?

Amen.

Amen. Thank you.

Amen.

I guess we do have some value still at this point.

I guess so.

Such a great question. Such a great question. And you have grown leaps and bounds in the three years that I've known you. And you're just getting started. I'm so proud of you. Okay. Was tonight valuable?

Yes.

Okay, well. Ooh, the energy from like beginning to the. I was like, I know we've had you sitting still for a little bit of time, and we're so, so grateful for your attention, for your time. We want to do a lot more of this. And we already have one, the next two events scheduled. February has four tickets left and we've not even really shared it.

We haven't shared it.

It was the overflow from people who wanted to be here tonight. So the best way, what we have decided to do is we're Sending out the first link to these events to our text list. So if you're not already on our text list, do you want to share where people can join yours?

Okay, so great.

Yes.

I'm like, great, I'll share mine first. I think I have it committed to memory. So if you text the word mentor, any of you who aren't on the powerhouse women text, it's the number 602-536-7829. It was also in the invite from tonight. So that's how you can get on the list to make sure you get the first link when we release it. So we have February 16th and March 23rd are the next two dates that are available and then your text number.

So I'm texting this to the people who get on the daily text list. Who's on my daily text list?

Okay.

Are they. Do I spam you? Is it good? Is it worth it?

It's really good.

It's like very permission based text. I hope it makes you say, I'm gonna fucking do it. That's my goal. So if you wanna be on that. But this is who I text for this. It's text the word daily to 310-496-8363. So you text the word daily to 310-496-8383. So we're trying to keep it like to the people who are in our, in our communities.

Right?

Like the real, the real ones, right? The ones that cover.

This one's for the real phone numbers. I feel like I need to dump some wine out.

I mean, we have matching jackets. It's, it's like a thing.