Boundaries, Out LOVING Your Partner & Going From “Fan” to Tony Robbins' Business Partner with Dean Graziosi

One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. Total and full responsibility. If you guys kick ass and make a lot of money, it's on you. You did it. You fail, you go bankrupt. Shit goes sideways, you lose friends, you offend somebody, it's on freaking you. It's not our president, it's not the last one, it's not the current one, it's not Congress, it's not people coming across the border. It's fucking you. Simple as that.

Hey everyone, welcome back to the got such an awesome podcast for you today. We are live in person on this podcast at the dinner series with the legend Dean Graciosi. You guys, I can't wait for you to listen to this one. I'm talking. This blew my mind. He dropped so much wisdom. Oh my God. I'm not even going to share with you because I just need you to listen. My favorite thing about Dean is how real and raw he is. And he just wants you to get to the truth of you and your business. Business. So Dean Graciosi is a beacon in the world of entrepreneurship. He's a multi time New York Times bestselling author, a loving husband to his amazing wife Lisa, who I also absolutely love. Father of four, his expertise spans across writing, investing and business consulting. He's dynamic with speaking, which you'll learn very quickly. He's spoken to over 200,000 people at various conferences and live events, making him as a distinguished figure in the industry. He is the mastermind behind the biggest online events in his history, working with icons like Tony Robbins, Matthew McConaughey and more. So let's dive in, guys.

Next we have an incredible guest that is one of the most incredible human beings and accomplished human beings that you'll ever get to learn from. Now there's an official bio which I will read, but I want to start by edifying this gentleman as a friend because he's been a dear friend to Laurie and I. Dean Graciosi is one of the kindest, one of the most generous with his time, his knowledge, one of the most just realist down to earth. You'll get to see straight shooters that we have ever spent time with. And that's one of my favorite traits about him, is he'll always tell you exactly, you know, how it is, good, bad or indifferent, because he cares about you. He cares about getting to the core of what's going to make your business better or what's going to make your life better. He's an incredible father. I mean literally one of the best fathers that I have ever seen. Matter of fact, his son Luca's back there and so is his wife Lisa. Hi, guys. Thanks for coming. And that's a great demonstration to the incredible husband and father that he is. He always makes his family the centerpiece of everything that he does.

I am just like so incredibly inspired by you, Dean. And also he's one of the most real vulnerable people that I have gotten to spend time with and meet in this industry. I was able to drop in with you immediately because he was just really willing to share from a place of where he started, where he's at. He's a real human and you've never lost that. And I think that that is your magic power is to be able to relate to anyone and everyone and really still be able to tap into who you were. So we're so grateful for you that you're here today because you're just going to be gift for everybody.

Here's the stats from the official bio in case any of you have been living under a rock. Dean Graziosi stands as a beacon in the world of entrepreneurship and personal development. A multi time New York Times best selling author, loving husband to his wife Lisa and father of four, his expertise spans across writing, investing and business coaching. Dean has made a significant mark in the business world, contributing to the growth of over 14 major companies and collaborating with icons like Tony Robbins and Matthew McConaughey in orchestrating some of the largest online event in history. His books such as Millionaire Success Habits and the Underdog Advantage have sold a million copies worldwide, cementing his status as a pivotal figure in shaping entrepreneurial mindsets. Through his partnership with Tony Robbins and their groundbreaking work@mastermind.com, dean has influenced over 2 million people globally. Leveraging his personal knowledge to foster business growth. He believes that every person has a unique experience and and unique expertise that can be used to impact others lives.

That intro was a little embarrassing, but thank you. Next time just go, Dean's here. Dean's here.

It always feels a little awkward when someone's reading the thing.

It felt like it was 14 minutes long. So. Don't you love these two? Seriously? We do too.

We got one clap. Everyone, one clap. Thank you so much.

Yeah, can we give it up for him? All right, so.

So I was telling you in the back and when we asked you if you'd pop by and do this, I was telling you this is great unapologetic networking. Right? We leave the fluff aside. They're here to leave with a better network and new friends, new Business partners, you name it. So the first question that we wanted to tee up for you is totally related to that. You went from watching Tony Robbins on TV when you're trying to figure out, what am I going to do next in life, to literally being his business partner. How in the world does one transcend like that and create those type of relationships?

Great question. Got to think about that. I wasn't prepped with these questions, so it's a good one. I like when I'm. I like, I told them not to share it with me because it becomes. It becomes more real. Here's something I want to share. When I got here, Chris told me what you guys are doing. And this is networking, right? And who got. Who's already made some cool relationships, right? I might give you a little bit different advice, because I am. Horrifically, I don't. Do I. Luckily, we did an event with Matthew McConaughey. We had 2 million people live at once. I don't anybody see. That event we did was pretty cool, right? We started that event direct a camera. Two million people watching. Nerves were hardly anything, right? Put me in a room with 12 strangers or like, the adults of my little boy's parents, and holy shit. Like, I'm petrified. Like, people think I'm the best dad in the world because when I'm around other parents, I just play with the kids so I don't have to talk to them. So, like, oh, my God, your husband is so sweet. Like, my wife's in her head. Like, no, he just doesn't want to talk to you. And it's not that I'm rude or think I'm better. I get ner, like, I'm a complete introvert. So if someone said to me, are you a networker? I've never owned a business card, nor have I ever handed one to anybody, and nor have ever asked for anyone. And I've been in business for 35 years. I still don't have business cards. I still. I could be in a room with somebody that I could absolutely do business with, and somebody says, I could introduce you. I'm like, no, if you introduce me, it'll seem like I want to meet that. Just. No, I'd rather not. So you guys are networking, and I'm telling you, it seems like I'm the anti networker, but I'm not. I make every relationship I want. 27 years ago, I bought Tony's course. It shifted my life. I wrote in my journal, I'll be partners and friends with him someday. And we Are we talk every single day. We've done the biggest events in the history of the world. We own five companies together. And here's what I want to tell you, what I learned through the years. I'll tell you this person. I'll tell you the exact story with Tony here in a little bit. And I don't know how to explain this. It wasn't like, what can I do to get a partnership with Tony? The relationship I had with Tony is he truly shifted my life. 27 years ago, I bought his stuff. He made me look at life differently. I realized life happened for me, not to me. That all the craziness of my childhood was my fuel, not my anchor. And I just felt completely in gratitude to him. So when I got the chance to meet him, and this is what I want to share with you guys. It sounds subtle. I wasn't thinking about what can I do in order to someday be his partner. I just thought, what can I do? In the back of our heads, as you guys are meeting, maybe some of you have transcended that. Guys take longer. There's more women in this world. We take longer to mature. Right? I'm still maturing. Thank God for my wife. She steps me up. But sometimes you're like, hey, does this relationship. A lot of times we're posturing or positioning, thinking in the back of the head, God, it'd be great if they promoted my launch. It'd be great if they invested in my idea. And as you're going about this in the back of your head, you're having that conversation. What if I told you, if you completely let that go and actually listened and see how you could serve but expecting nothing in return. And as I say that, everybody goes, yeah, common sense. It's not common sense. In our heads, we're thinking, hey, I do this thing, she'd be perfect. That'd be a perfect client. And we're thinking on how to position, how to talk, what is the right thing to say? So they really like it. How can I get referrals? What if you were genuinely just interested in them and if you found yourself interested, just did everything you can to serve them? I don't network a lot. I don't meet a lot of people. I have the tiniest group. I told them we're building a new house, and my wife's like, oh, my God, I can't wait till it's done. And we can entertain. I'm like, entertain who? I don't want anybody coming to my house. Like, no one. Like These two and maybe one other couple in Phoenix. And that's eight it. I want to be with my four kids and my wife. Time is so I am, I am horrific at it. Well, simultaneously I think I have some of the greatest relationships in the world because I went deep on each one of them. I met Tony through a mutual friend. We were supposed to get together for a half hour. We were together two, we ran out of time. He said, fly to my house next week, it's my birthday. I flew down and we were supposed to meet for two hours, his house. And we sat out on the beach for about 10 hours straight and just had the time of our lives. And after that conversation, I didn't. Of course I'd love to do business with Tony. Of course I loved what he did, I loved being in proximity. But the man had impacted my life without him even knowing it. So I did everything in my power to find out what he needed. And after I went to one of his events, I realized that the follow up sequence, after you go to a ton, anybody ever been to a Tony event? Like, tell me you're not like on crack when you leave, right? And then like two weeks later you're like, how do I get the crack back? I want to be in that fucking state of mind. Like, yes, like you just want it. And you're on YouTube trying to find Tony videos to feel that way again, right? And I went to the event and I realized post event there wasn't a follow up sequence that kept me engaged. It wanted me to get going. So I literally recorded 12 videos, wrote 14 emails and I built an entire follow up sequence and I just gave it to his team without even telling them. And they put it in place. And about three months later, emails me, he goes, what the hell did you do? And as a joke he said he sent me a picture of his black card, Amex. He goes, he that was worth millions to our company. But more we're going to impact more, so we're going to impact more lives. Charge me whatever you think. So I replied, I'm like, only hit you for a million, bro. All good. Then I waited about an hour and sent back. But I swear to you, and I know this, you might be thinking, yeah, that was a good play. It wasn't a good play. I never intended on doing business with him. I didn't care about doing business. The guy changed my life with his course. I wouldn't be the man I am without him. So I did it with zero consider. In fact, after that we became Dear friends, this is 12 years ago. I only golf twice a year and it's with Tony. And we golf in cool places and we meet in cool places and we, our families together. We talk every day. We didn't do business for seven years. And every time we talk about business, I think to myself, I'm doing pretty damn good. He's doing pretty damn good. Why fuck up this relationship with a partnership? Literally, that's the way I felt. And finally we got to a point and we were on a golf course. Again, we're not golfers at all. We just go. And it's a place that you can go for three hours and not be interrupted. And, and golfing with is pretty cool because we don't golf 18 in a row. He just drives to the holes he likes, swear to God. And then we pull up like Tony Robbins. No, I don't need this tee. In fact, I won't golf all day. Take it. It's hysterical. They bring us food while we're golfing that I didn't know where they came from. But anyway, it's a great experience. So we're golfing and he just said, are we ever going to do a partnership or do something together? I'm like, it's probably time. And we launched Mastermind and fortunately it's been amazingly successful. We've done six of the biggest launches, I think in the history of the world. We just got done with one with 1.1 million people in it. It's crazy. Thank you.

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You asked that question or else I wouldn't have shared that story. I don't share it publicly, but 100% of that is true. But the fact of the matter is I didn't do that for him. Expecting something in return. And now being his friend and partner for 12 years, I watch so many people and I can see through them. We're at a dinner and I'm like, they're just getting ready to do the pitch. They don't even know this guy or what his thoughts are or what his beliefs. All they're thinking in their head is me, what can I get? And when it, like, I feel like, you know, when people say about a conversation, are you really listening? Are you just waiting for me to shut up so you can talk? That's how most people are networking. And the fact of the matter is, just be genuinely interested because most people you don't want to network with. The fact of the matter is there are some people that just in this room, amazing as is that you just wouldn't get along with even if it. Could anybody in here increase their business if you had to network with someone that you couldn't stand or they didn't align with their. Your values, right? And a room like this with two amazing people, you guys are more alike than any other room. So this room is different, but we could set that aside. But in most rooms, you don't want to do business with most people. Not. Not even in a million years. And then all of us think we want partners. Are you freaking kidding? Raise your hand if you know a partnership that went to shit. Raise your hand. Raise your hand if you know a magical partnership where everybody loves each other. There is three hands up, right? But most of the time, like, if I had somebody with more money to infuse in my company. No, you have somebody with their. They have put more money in you. They're going to think that they own your freaking decisions, right? Like, when I think about networking, if somebody's like, hey, I want you to meet this person, I'm like, for what? Like, I need to know, like, for what? Like, I don't want to share somebody. That someone moved to this town and bought my house where I met you guys in front of you. See what it's sold for? Yes. I'm pissed. I'm pissed. Pissed. Anyway. And he owns one of the big sports teams. He bought one of the sports teams here. Seems like an amazing guy. And a buddy of mine calls, goes, hey, he bought your house. And he's going, he owns the team. You can go with him and sit on the front and do all this stuff. And I'm like, but for what? He's like, the owner of the team. And sit up front. I'm like, okay, but for what? And I'm like, I'm sitting here right now looking at my son who wants to go play fake bowling in the other room. That or bowling, bowling. So I just want you to think about network, learn network. But go deep, not wide, and be candid enough that if you start having a relationship and go, I don't like their Culture or their culture is amazing. I want to be their friend, but I don't think we could do business. Then just stop it. Be friends with them and find the right person that aligns with you. And I think that would be the advice I'd love to hear. As I was coming up deeper, not wider. Care first. Deliver value. Don't expect anything in return. These are all things you have already heard. I'm not doing anything but being a reminder service today. I'm not trying to act like I'm brilliant sharing this, but sometimes you need a reminder. There are a lot of people in life, too. It's like, I always give to people and I get nothing back. Tony, I'll. I'm on the Tony kick. One of the things. I'm blessed. I don't have an Instagram relationship. I love my wife more than anything on this planet, and I'm blessed to be married to her. And I was at Date With Destiny as an. As a friend, because I was. We were helping, and I go to Date with Destiny. I get there late. I'm there for a couple hours, and he's doing an intervention, and this woman is like, but I do this for him. I do that for him. I do this for him. And she was talking about a personal relationship, and Tony said something that shifted my life forever. He said, hmm, what if. I'm just saying, what if you felt love every time you gave it, rather than your perception of receiving it? How would your life change? She's like, why? Do I. No, no, seriously. But you do all these things for him. How would you feel if you felt love just doing it selflessly and she was mad for a moment, and then she had the biggest smile and then cried and hugged her husband and. And it changed my life. My wife and I try to just out love each other. How can you just do more if you don't keep score? There's no way to get screwed over. When does a relationship die? Oh, I work all day, I come home and this isn't done. Or I'm home all day juggling five kids and this like, all of a sudden, you start keeping score, and then intimacy starts to go away, and then connection goes away. And then you're like. And then you get wandering eye. All that shit is just normal when you keep score, right? And then a minute later, he said, what if you treated the end of the relationship like the beginning? Would there be an end? But think. And Tony does this funny thing. He's like, you know when you're first in a relationship and your husband takes out the garbage and spills some on the way, you're like, oh, no worries, dear. I'll pick it up for you, right? Like your husband eats cereal and slurps the milk, or vice versa. And you're like, oh, so cute how he slurps his milk. Then you're in for six months. Like, if he slurps his milk milk one more time, I'm going to smash him with the fucking bowl. Right? Like, what if you just treated the end like the beginning, you'd start being excited about the Slurpee milk again, right? It's the same thing. If you're going to go in with networking and relationships, find someone. A whole point of that was if you give to five or six relationships and nothing comes of it, be okay, feel good that you gave. Because the seventh thing, seventh relationship would be a fricking monster. But so many of us hold back. I tried with three people, they gave nothing back. Screw people. It's like, no, you might have to try 20 people. Anybody read the book Ogmund Dino's the World's Greatest Salesman? Everyone should read it. It takes two hours. Read it. Put it on your list. He goes through these 10 scrolls, and number three is, I will persist until I succeed. Which persists is the only word in the English language that can guarantee you success. There's nothing else that can guarantee it. Persistence will. If you don't give up, you win. But he says in that, he said two things. One, he said, the prize doesn't come at the beginning of the journey. The prize comes at the end of the journey. And I think we have a new generation they want before they even start the trip, right? So the prize comes at the end of the journey. But then he said, but you don't know how long the journey is. You don't know how many corners you have to go around. You might go around 10 corners and your prize still isn't there. Some people go around three corners, some people got to go around 30. But if you keep persisting around, one of those corners is you 2.0. And it's the same thing with networking. You might go through five or six relationships. I promoted them. They didn't promote me. They said they were going to invest. They didn't just go, hey, I felt good. I delivered more to that relationship than I took. I feel better. The next one's coming and eventually it will.

That's amazing.

First of all, how much do you love him? I literally just. I forget I have to ask questions. I'm like, oh, he's. Yeah, sorry. I'm listening. So you had talked a little bit about when you know, a relationship just. It's not working anymore. And I know you have worked with so many different people and had so many different relationships, Dean. What does that look like when you know it's not a fit anymore and you want to keep that relationship? Like, tell me about that conversation. How quick do you have it? What does that look like?

So business relationship. You want to end the business relationship but keep the personal side? Or you're.

Yes, that's happening. And you just realize, like, you're better friends than you are in business. What does that conversation look like?

Or you just realize you don't like them and you're trying to make yourself feel good. You're not going to be friends with them when it's done. Be real, right? Is that true? I'd love to give a better answer. I just stop answering my phone. But if you'd like me to mature past that. No, that's why measuring twice, cutting once is. It is way easier to say no up front than unwind once you're in, right? So that's an absolute must. But I would just say there is nothing like, I'm. I'm just. You guys know this about me. I'm just at a brutally honest phase of my life. Like, it's just like, I don't even know how to have a filter at this phase of my life. I really don't. My poor wife, when we're some places and she's like, oh, no, we're getting real Dean here, right? I'm like, so I think there's nothing better than honesty. And you have your perception. They might be having shit conversations. And I don't mean you because you're asking for everybody. But they might be having conversations with their spouse. Like, oh, I thought this relationship was going to go. So you're both thinking certain stuff and then you get together and you're like, oh, no, we can do this. We'll get through it. And you find what I noticed because I've been in bad partnerships. So please know, it's just I'm a little older than most here, so I've. And I've had partners. I've already been through all the shit of. Of this. So if I can help by just my life experience, that's why I'm sharing. But there is nothing better than just what is the book where this is Higher Slow Fire Fast, right? I forget which book it is. Top grading, Higher Slow Fire Fast. It's kind of the same thing. And I realize when you're in a partnership and you really want it to work, you're going to find the things you like about that person. Yeah, but they're really positive or they have really good connections or they did fun. This. Here's what I'll tell you. Cut and run as fast as humanly possible. Because there is nothing worse than feeling like a part of you is not being your authentic self or you're holding back or you can't express yourself. I mean, here's the thing. So many times it's like you say opposites are great in business, right? And you need that. You need integrators and you need implementers, you need innovation, you need to action take. All that stuff is true. But who in here has ever been in a partnership where you have a dream, you have a vision? Whose dream? I know this room whose dream and vision and goals are a little bit bigger than some of the people you hang around. Everybody in this room. So if you're partners with somebody and you're like, listen, I don't want to stick here, I think there's a whole nother level and you're risking it. And they're very logical and they talk you out of it because logically it does make sense. Listen, entrepreneurship doesn't make sense. 95% of people fail and I'd still do it 100% of the time, over and over, kick my teeth out, I'm still not going to work for somebody. Right, but you have a logical partner that you're like, keeps me grounded. Bullshit. You go home at night and you're feeling like that, you can't be the woman or the man you're meant to be because your partner is logical and right in his own mind. Let him or her be right or logical in their own mind, on their own and go be the crazy ass dreamer. Because there is nothing worse. Yeah, let's give it up for that. Because there is nothing worse.

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Not trying at all because someone talked out of you. That's real regret. That's painful. That's deep. You know? Anybody know the man in the arena conversation with Theodore Roosevelt? Go listen to that tonight. You want to be the man in the Marine in the arena getting bloody and marred and fighting. I tell people you don't want to be in the stands with someone else's name on your jersey. Get in the fight game right and Sometimes you have a partner that even if you're compromising yourself 5%, you're still not going to feel good about you. I would rather do it my way. I don't mean my way. I take the collective of my team, just the. The innovation that you. You are. You are. You two are amazing at forging a path at innovating, creating. And if you compromise that, even 5%, if it doesn't work, your brain's automatically going to go to. If I could have just done it my way. Even if you're not right, I'd rather it fail all on me. One of the. One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself in a room like this already has it. So please, I'm just a reminder service today, but total and full responsibility. If you guys kick ass and make a lot of money, it's on you. You did it. You fail, you go bankrupt, Shit goes sideways, you lose friends, you offend somebody, it's on freaking you. It's not our president. It's not the last one. It's not the current one. It's not Congress. It's not people coming across the border. It's fucking you. Simple as that. I told you, I don't have a filter. I love it.

My question's related to this not having a filter. One of my favorite moments in a moment, I knew. I was like, okay, I love this guy. I can't wait to be friends. Was the first time that the four of us went out to dinner. And Lisa, you may remember this, the conversation was flowing. We had the. The best night. The check comes, you grab the check. Thank you, by the way. And you said, listen, I had a great time. We're going to be friends. But I need you to know something. I'm busy. We don't hang out that much. It's family first. So if we see each other two, three times a year, max, and you're okay with that, we can be great friends. If not, it's probably not going to work. And you just put it on the table and it was there for us to take it or leave it. And in that moment, because that's kind of how I work, in that moment, I was like, oh, I fucking love this guy. But not everybody would set a boundary like that. And not everybody would have the guts to speak their truth, help reinforce the ability to do that for some of them.

I just look at the pain of the other side. Like, if you sent me one text, it was like, hey, I thought we had a good night. Haven't heard from you, I would never talk to you again. Then I'd have to avoid you. Then I'd say, see mutual friends. And I'd have to go to the other side of the room, so I didn't see your faces. So I just look at the pain. I just look at the pain of not saying it up front, and it compels me to do it in advance. Who in here knows you've avoided the phone call? And then you go to the gathering, and they're there. You're like, son of a. She's here.

And they're like, do you have 20 text messages from me?

You're like, you know, like, just. You want to know the best I got to tell you just really quick, this is 25 years ago now. 20 years ago, it was a gentleman that I knew I did business with and then end up doing business with and just wasn't my kind of guy. Just off. And he was really nice. Just not my thing. So I hadn't talked to him in like a year. And I'm literally in Las Vegas doing a doing business during a convention, our industry convention, maybe 18 years ago, my phone rings, and it's him. I'm like. I literally was like. I put my phone down, it rings again, and I'm like, what the hell? I look up, he's across the restaurant going, oh, no. Yeah, that was a true story. So now maybe that's what did it. Now I just say in advance, I am never calling you, and I'm not gonna answer when you pick up.

That's amazing.

But how freeing is that? Like, you don't have any of those extra ties. You never have to worry about where you're going because everybody knows what they're gonna get.

I know I told you guys a story, but my wife, when I met her, she's amazing businesswoman, and she never been married, didn't have kids yet, but she would network a lot and always be out and doing things and made incredible relationships. Like, she has so many incredible friends. But until we got together, didn't say no to most things. Like, oh, it's this one's baby shower. It's this one's birthday, and we were literally together. And she's like, oh, I got to go to this birthday party. I'm like, like, what's gotta mean? Like, what do you mean? You gotta go say, well, she's a friend, and. And, you know, her kids call me auntie. I'm like, my sister's kids call me uncle. And I don't go to My sister's thing half the time, like, you gotta sell me more. I'm like. And I would say, okay, here's the deal. We all worked, we both worked really hard this week. You can go to this thing and have fake conversation and do all that and make a face, you know, be there, make a presence. Or we can open a bottle of wine, I'll make some pasta, and we just have a night with you and I. So I was good at bribing, but it took me a while to get my wife to realize, if it's important, go, I'll support you, I'll be there. But if it's not, why, like at the end of your life, you're not going to go? I'm so glad I went all to those stupid ass birthday parties. Never, never came out of person's mouth in the history of the world. What do they say? I wish I spent time in my family. I wish I found things that were deeper. I wish I worked on me. I wish I looked deep inside of myself and finally fixed that thing I was struggling with since I was a kid. Right? That's the kind of stuff we're gonna wish we did at the end of our lives. So I'm just lucky enough that I early enough in my life I discovered like I just, I say no to everything possible. Like literally say no to everything. I'm going with my wife tonight to a fundraiser tonight. It is painstaking for me. Like, am I joking? Like painstaking. But she really wants me to go, so I'll go. But I say no to all of them.

Okay, so let's go back to. Do we want to go 10 years or 20 years? Let's say 20, Dean, let's go back 20 years. What advice would you give to yourself 20 years ago? Just about. Would you do anything different in business? Would you work with any different people? What would that look like?

Such a broad question. Good one, great question. There's just so many directions I could go. I would say, I know this is going to seem like, and I'm not saying that for like, look what I've done. It's just as much work to do a million person launch as it is a thousand person launch. It's just as much work to do a hundred thousand dollar deal as a million dollar deal. It's just the same amount of work to do a $50 million deal as a million dollar deal. Our brain is the thing holding us back, not the capabilities. I don't, I barely have a high school education. I didn't Go to college. I have dyslexia. Really bad. I still probably have a seventh grade reading level. And I know for a lot of years I was like, oh, I'd love to do that. Bigger deal, but that's for somebody smarter. Somebody's got more backing, more connections. And there was just one day I was like, it. Sorry, I haven't. Oh, you're making this a podcast. I dropped like so many f bombs.

Go for it.

I haven't born in a while and my son's here. He's like, I never hear. Heard my dad say those words tonight. I'm like, you want to eat breakfast? Then fuck it.

Sure.

Fuck it, Daddy.

So I would say, it's all a crap ass game. Our minds play with us. It's easy. Everybody else think bigger. But really, like, just add a zero to your next goal. Stop messing around. Like, we're fighting for mediocrity. Like, if you're gonna stand out, fucking stand out. Like, be the person. When you walk in the party, they're talking shit about you because you're so successful, they think you cheated. That's when you know you made it. That's what I'd say. Think big.

Wow, Amazing.

Talk to me about who, not how. You did a recent Instagram about this, and you talk about this a lot. Can you remember a time that you thought you needed a certain bit of knowledge or a certain process or a certain anything, and it turned out to be a whole.

Can I think of it? It's always. It's just my life like you guys. I admire you. I'd come here, I'd do anything for these two. And I mean that. They're always there for me. I'd do anything for them. As long as they don't text and call too much, we're golden. No, I'm just kidding.

We got the rules in the beginning.

We also don't like texting, so we're good.

I'm completely. I'd answer any call from you two, always. I come to a group like this, that's so easy. Because you guys are already smart enough to cut a check for speed. Because I've been in Masterminds. I own mastermind.com for God's sakes. Because masterminds change my life more than any other one thing. The collective wisdom in the room can allow you to move faster than anything else. So I've just programmed my brain that when I have something to solve, I don't think how anymore. I've really trained my brain on who's already Done it. And can I cut them a check to allow me to go faster? I've just made that a part of my expenditure. But it doesn't have to be big money. When TikTok first came out, my son is like, you got to get on TikTok. I'm like, I'm not getting on TikTok. Like, I'm not doing another social media platform. And then I looked at it, I'm like, how am I. I don't even know how to get in it. My son was the who in fifth grade. He grabbed my phone, he's like, oh, my God. All right, you're on. Just shoot a video. Right? He was the whole. Like, he grew up with social media. Like he. So I've just trained my brain. Every time you think, like, how am I going to build a funnel? How do I do a launch? How do I go faster? How do I get new clients? How do I network? Just train your brain to go, who already networks better than me? Who builds better funnels than me? Who writes better copy than me? And go cut them a check and either learn from it or hire them. The ROI is always there a hundred percent if you hire the right person. And I'm not saying waste money. And I know a lot of you are on your way up, you're doing great, you're going to another level. Just measure the ROI of putting. Of hiring the right who. There's nothing that'll ever beat it. So I hope that was a good answer. I've just programmed myself to look through the lens of who's already done it. Because Hal freaks you out sometimes. You start thinking about, like, how am I going to get my social media to grow? How am I going to expand my business? How am I going to shoot better videos?

How?

Just think who? And all of a sudden it's like, oh, I can do that.

Great answer.

Okay, if you were a member of this room right now, what advice would you give to these people who came in the room to network, came to grow their business, just to get the maximum out of the day, total transparency.

Don't each other just walk up and go, what do you do? Do you think us working together, we can make more money or not know in five minutes if it's no, say next. I'll see you soon. I'll have a drink with you. But we're not doing business. Don't waste time bullshitting each other. So what do you do? Where do you go when really you just want to go, can we make freaking money together? Or Not. Is that true? Is that what you really want? Yes. Right? Yeah. You want connections. You guys all have enough friends. You don't need another freaking friend. You need connections. You'll meet great friends that'll become people you do business with, but just get the crap talk out of the way and see if you have an alignment to work together and then build a friendship on top of that. That doesn't mean you have to do what I do. You're asking what I would do? I'd go through this room in, like, nine minutes. I'd probably offend half of you, but then you'd respect me because it's like, Lisa, I didn't waste time with that guy.

Kind of. To that point. How do you handle rejection? I mean, I'm not sure you have to handle much rejection at this point in your life, but we gave them permission. When we were setting this thing up in the beginning, we said, it's okay if you don't have chemistry with somebody. It's okay. If someone asks you for an introduction, you say, nope, I'm not comfortable making that introduction. But to set the rules, but then to actually execute, no, that's okay.

That's such a great question. Nobody likes rejection, so I'd be a liar if I said that it doesn't bug me or no one reject. Being rejected sucks. If I say on a. If I'm on a big webcast and there's a lot of people and I'm watching all the chats, if I say, what's the number one thing most of you worry about? A lot of it is rejection, right? But if you take it all the way back, I may quote Tony Robbins again. He said all problems can be boiled down to two things. I'm not good enough or I'm not loved. If you think through those lens, if you're like, no, no, no, that's not everything. And you think about, like, no rejection, it's like, yeah, but I'm rejected. That means I'm not good enough. That means that Pearson might not like me. It all goes back to those two things, right? But if I. If I look at it at this phase of my life and again, just being on this earth a little bit longer, I think rejection is the perfect. Like, none of us like to waste time. And if you looked at rejection as, like, hey, this is. Might just be the fastest way for us to go, hey, this doesn't work, but there's someone else in this room that I am completely supposed to be aligned with, then. Then really, the re who in here has ever been rejected in relationships? And you're like, thank freaking God now, right? You're with the person you're supposed to be, right? So I'd say rejection sucks. And we have the option to take any action and put our own twist on it. That takes time. You guys all know that, right? Focus on your thoughts, manage your thoughts. Eckhart Tolle. Right? All that. But the fact of the matter is we get to decide on our emotions. Somebody rejects you, you can say, you know what, no worries, this didn't work out. And just in your head, you're like, this one wasn't meant for me. The next one's going to be great. So that's, that's the way I would look at it at this phase of my life. And it doesn't mean that it doesn't suck, but I think you can shift it.

I know you have a lot of things that, you know, you have a lot of different, maybe deals or partnerships or when you're thinking of doing these next big ideas that you have, like, some things I know you've talked about, like, brewing in the background. And some of them are huge. They're, like, bigger than anything you've ever done. And that's a lot of risk and uncertainty. And I think everyone in this room, especially after you saying, you know, the million dollar deal or $100 million deal, it's the same energy, but there's a level of, like, risk and uncertainty that expands so much with the $100 million deal. So tell me, how did you, like, in those big leaps, how do you deal with the risk and uncertainty that might keep you awake certain nights or, you know, all the things that go through your head?

Great, great, great question. And please know I'm still guilty of feeling that way. So I don't want you to think that goes away. It's just you build a muscle for it, right? So I would just say build a muscle. Some of you in here are certainty driven when you have uncertainty. Who in here, when something's uncertain in your life, you're coming unglued, raise your hand if. If it's not right, if it's awesome you had your hand up first so that you must be very right. Some people, uncertainty drives them crazy. Who in here, some of you in here would be driven, would drive you crazy if it was certain all the time. Who would hate if it was the same thing all the time, right? So some of us are uncertainty driven. Some of us are certainty driven, right? So if you know that about Yourself, the ones that are driven by uncertainty, you might go too fast and too risky and partner and spend more than the ones that are certainly driven. You're going to overthink it until it just goes away or you miss it. I'd say you got to bring both those emotions in together. Now, when I say think bigger, a lot of times, and I really want you to hear this, a lot of times there is not more risk. Of course, if you're raising funds or something like that, but a lot of times there's not more risk by thinking bigger. Doing a launch of your course, your product, your training, the company you own, the business you own. The like going after. Who did you say someone was? A stylist. Who's the stylist? You stylist. Right. So the risk would be, right now, my clientele is X. I want to go after people that are just millionaires or above. Million dollar net worth or above. That's a risk. Mentally, am I qualified for that? Will they do business with me? But it's not a financial risk. It's an emotional risk. I'm going to share, break down the two. I'm not saying do a risk where it's either 100 million or I go broke forever, but most of the time you're just letting your brain say, well, I can't risk that. I might not. It's like, no, no, you're just afraid. And that's okay. Admit you're afraid and then see how you can get the capabilities or the stamina to go after that next level clientele. And I think that's the part, I mean, on that. And simultaneously being scared for your next level. I mean, isn't that the juice of what makes us all do what the hell we do? I mean, honest and truly, who in here right now, what would be exciting million a year exciting for this group? 2 million. 5 million. 5 million, okay. Would you take 5 million a year right now? But you could never make more. You don't get to innovate. You have to work for somebody else. But you get the 5 million every single day. And you got to put up with a shithead if you're a girl. He hits on you once a month, but still you get $5 million a year. Raise your hand if you would take that. Okay. Who in here would risk it, make 50,000 a year and have the chance to make 20 million and ride the roller coaster? So you answered your own question, right? When people think, God, it's scary going forward, the only thing I always think about Isn't it scarier staying where you are? Like, think about it. What's scarier? When people say, I feel like an imposter, I'm scared. I do this exercise, I'm going to share this with you guys. You're a smart group. You already get this before I even say it. But when I do this exercise, a lot, I'll say to people, we'll go through whatever you're at. You're at a half a million, you want to go to a million, you're at a million, you want to go to 10. Whatever it is, like, what is the story? What is the belief you have on why it's not working for you? But. And then I go slow and I'm like, no, really think about what is the reason. And people answer. I'm like, no, that's not it. Go deeper. And I'll be in the chat, or if I'm in the audience, they'll start yelling. And people yell, my father never loved me. Like, people get deep. My father never loved me. My family never had faith in me. My husband thinks I'm a crazy dreamer, right? And they'll start getting to these and they'll tell them. And I can watch everybody get emotional, right? So everybody's getting emotional, and I can feel it. And I'll. I'll slow it on purpose and I'll ask and I'll just pause and look at the chat. And I'm like, I just love if you were really honest. And then I'll get deeper and I'll say, do me a favor. I could tell that's really hitting your heart. Do me a favor in the chat label how scary that is. What if my friends think I'm crazy? What if I go broke? I'm like, could you put in the chat on a 1 to 10 how serious that is? And it's 8, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10. 8, 10, 10, 10,10, 10, 55, 5000. And everybody's labeling how serious this thing is. I said, okay, can you park that said, now, I want you to think that you're 95 years old. You. You're sitting next to your maker, and your maker plays you a video of the man or the woman you could have been. You didn't take that risk because you didn't want to go broke, or your husband didn't believe in you or your friends would think bad. And you look and your maker plays you this video of this dynamic woman who took chances and was bold. And you go, well, who was that? Well, that's just you without that story. I said, what would be your only hope? Wish. What would be your only wish? It's like to go back and then I say, wish granted, we're here. And then I say, go rate what that feeling is, being at the end of your life and realize you missed it. It's 5,000, 5,000. I'm like, go back and rate the original story. It's always a number one. My husband don't care. Screw him. It's a one, right? Like go broke. I'd rather go broke than get to the end of my life at and realize I missed out on the man or the woman I could have been. It's all perspective and all of this crap that I'm talking about for all of us, right? All it is is leverage to keep our asses moving forward boldly. That's really all Tony teaches. And what I teach is just if you stay in the game long enough and persist enough, you win. But most people get out of the game on the five yard line. That's just a fact. That one too many cancellations, somebody said one too many things, and they just settle. And what I think we get to do, and I love what I do more than anything on the planet, is we just keep people in the game long enough until they make it.

I'm like, I have one more too.

Because this is so good.

Okay, I want to talk about your lifelines. And if you verbally process with people. So looking back as you've grown and things have happened and you're moving through challenging things in your business or your life, like really maybe scary things are happening, or you're on a. A really big fast track, huge opportunities, whatever. Do you have lifelines that you're like, dude, I really need to talk, or, honey, I really need to go on a walk and process this. Do you have to process verbally with people sometimes or you don't. Okay, never mind all the verbal processors, we're like, okay, no, I. So how do you do it?

Personally, I feel as a sign of weakness, I started this shit, I'll solve it. Now. Will I take advice from people? Yes, I will. In a roundabout way. Say, hey, man, you ever been in a position? But I will never go going through it. Just please don't think if you do that, that's insulting, I don't mean it. And maybe I need therapy, but that's. I mean that. Like, I don't know if it's the right thing, but it's like, if I had the balls to try to do this $100 million deal. I'm. I'm going to be the man to take it all the way through whether I fail or not. I'm not going to dump my shit on somebody else. But I will ask in roundabout ways and if someone's been in a situation. But, yeah, I don't have a lifeline.

I do ask. So verbal processors were good, and I move very quickly, so.

Last question for you, and first of all, give them a round of applause. How awesome has this been? Thank you. This has been amazing. We have an interesting year coming up. 2024.

Sure do.

Right economy. Is it going to be good or bad? Rates are going to go up or down? And then the big elephant in the room, this very fascinating election coming up. What would you do to leverage a room like this? Or what would you do to straight up set yourself up for success with all of the possible uncertain waters ahead?

You know, I just think you got to go what Warren Buffett says. You just got to be better at what you do than anybody else who does it. I don't think there's any other way around it. I love. Did you guys see the video we did about a year ago? He said, it doesn't matter if you're dealing with a deflated dollar, seashells, or Reich marks. I don't even know what a right mark is. Just get more of it than anybody else. So basically, he said the greatest investment. When he was asked the greatest investment. Did you guys hear what he said when he said what's the best investment this guy was waiting for? Oh, it's Coca Cola or it's this. You know what his best investment was? In yourself. Invest in yourself. Get better than anybody else. And whether it's a deflated dollar, Reich marks, or seashells, command more of it than other people, and you'll be fine no matter what happens. So just go make more money.

Yes. All right, guys, give him a round of applause. Dean, thank you so much.