Brendon Burchard’s #1 Piece Of Advice To Accelerate Your Growth In 2023

Most people's default mode when they see excellence or they see someone do something they can't what's wrong with me? Why can't I? And it's an inadequacy or insecurity. But when you have a growth mindset, when you've done personal development work, you realize the question is, what's wrong with me? It's what's the new competency I need to develop to be able to do that?

Hey everyone, welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. Today's guest is somebody who is single handedly changed my entire life. Not only was it completely changed when I first started learning and listening to his stuff probably about 15 years ago, but also when this human this year just completely surprised me by inviting me into his growth day podcast network. My guest today is the incredible Brendan Burchard. You guys, he's probably at one point.

Touched your life as well.

Whether it was from his bestselling books to his podcasts to his live events. I'm telling you, this human is all about helping you get to the next level. And there were so many times that I thought that maybe he was just.

Really special or gifted or I don't.

Know, you know, those people that you just meet and you're like, they're different. But the more that I got to know Brendan, the more that I learned that this is something that he is learning, choosing and practicing to bring the energy to make people feel like they're the most important, special person on the planet with every single person that he meets. And when he walks into a room.

He chooses that energy.

And this truly his life reflects the choices that he makes. So he chooses the energy that he wants to be in, which also means that he is attracting all of these incredible things into his life. So you guys, Brenda Burchard is a three time New York Times bestselling author, a globally respected high performance coach, and one of the world's most washed, followed and quoted personal development trainers. With over 10 million followers across all of his brands, the Oprah magazine named him one of the most influential leaders in personal growth. Forbes.com named him the world's leading high performance coach. Larry King called him the world's leading life coach. Success magazine ranks him in the top 25 most influential success teachers along with Oprah Winfrey, Dr. Phil, Tony Robbins, Tim Ferriss, Arianna Huffington and Deepak Chopra. You guys, Brendan's passion for personal development started after a car accident when he was 19 years old. He goes into telling the story a little bit and you can also Read about the story in some of his books and you can hear him on.

A lot of his talks.

But the traumatic event led to his belief that the end of our lives. We will all ask, did I live, Did I love, and did I matter? These questions form the themes of vibrancy, connection, and meaning that he weaves throughout his work and practice. You guys, this podcast is next Level. If you want to go to the next level in 2023 and you want to know what it's all about, it starts with you and the energy that you are choosing. I know you're going to love this podcast. I'm obsessed with being a part of the Growth Day Podcast network. And you guys, if there is one new thing I'm implementing into 2023, it is using the Growth Day app. Go to the Show Notes. We talk all about the app in here as well. It is your one stop shop for truly getting to the places that you want to go to and being held accountable. So I'm using it every single day in the new year to start with journaling and tracking and also getting motivational videos from the best people in the business because I got to stay plugged in. You know, I'm all about podcasts. You know, I'm all about reading books, but I absolutely love that I can get these quick hits of exactly what I need. So if you're missing structure in your life, if you just want that incredible community, go to the Show Notes. Go check out the Growth Day app. I'm teaching in there once a month. It's so much fun. The human beings are insane. And you guys, let's get started on this podcast because you can choose how you want to show up today and what you want to attract just through the choices in the energy that you're going to be making when you show up to the thing every single day, whatever that thing is, whether it's your work, whether it's your family, whether it's your relationships, you get to choose. And this is going to help transform every single area of your life. I promise you. We're already doing it in our household. It's going to rock your world. Let's get started.

Brennan, I'm so excited to have you on the show. Thank you so much for coming on.

Oh, my gosh, Lori, I'm so nervous. It's gonna be so awesome.

No, I can't imagine you get. Do you get nervous anymore? This is a question I literally try to ask like all of the people that I may have put on a pedestal in the Past or may still be on one. I wanna know what makes you nervous.

Yeah. You know what's so funny? I guess I shouldn't say nervous. I get what I call performance edge. Okay. Which is like, there's butterflies and there's energy there, but it's not stress energy or anxiety or inadequacy or insecurity stuff. I mean, it's not a lot of self doubt. It's more like readiness and like. Like, I can't wait, like, I'm ready. I don't.

Has that changed or did you give.

It a fancier name? Like, do you think the feeling has changed or did you just rename it and now your brain looks at it different?

I think one is a demobilizing feeling. Nervousness and stress can demobilize or discourage. Performance edge is like, I feel the anxious nerves to do this, but I'm kind of excited. Like I'm. I'm enthusiastic and I feel the proper amount of tension that is mobilizing me to want to do a good job. Like when I'm backstage. Right. Anyone would say it's like nerves, but I think when people feel nerves where it shuts them down or makes them feel less than or they feel scared, they feel fear. That's one type of nerves. And I think that's demobilizing, discouraging. Mine is more like, there's an anxious energy to it almost, but in a positive direction. Like, oh, I can't wait to see how this goes. I know I'm going to be a hot mess, but it's going to be fun. So we're going to have fun. I'm going to get an opportunity to serve. I'm going to get to express myself and live my truth and hopefully help people. And I don't know if I'm going to do well and I want to do well. So there's a performance edge. Like, I want to do well, but the butterflies are flying in alignment, as they say. The direction to it. Not just, like, there's a bunch of ravens eating up my inside because I'm terrified. It's more of like, it's a beautiful experience and we're moving this direction and I hope we do a good job.

So when I see you screaming at your stomach, get in line.

I know what that's right.

I know what that means. Right before you go on stage.

Well, backstage, like, literally, I don't know if anyone can see me, but, like, backstage, I'm bouncing out the nervous energy. Like, I'm literally just bouncing.

Yep.

And just kind of Moving. You'll see me walking back and forth, back and forth and. And talking and moving and just trying to. Because what often people do, they're nervous backstage because, you know, I've been doing these events for 15 years.

Yeah.

And I used to do eight seminars a year, four to five days each for 15 years. So an unbelievable number. And I see all of these guests back there, and so many of them would make a mistake. They're nervous. They stand in one place.

Oh, yeah.

Knees lock. And the energy would just, you know, it's kind of like they tell ladies, hey, don't lock your knees when you're standing. When you're at the wedding, you know, don't do that. Cause all of a sudden, you're kind of like that.

You're going down. Yeah, absolutely.

You're going down. Yeah, Don't. Don't do that.

Yep.

And so. But backstage, people are nervous. And I can always tell the most nervous person because they're most statuesque. They're standing there like this. I'm like, oh, that's going to eat them alive. You got to move that energy around a little bit. Movement helps deal with those nerves.

Oh, my gosh. I'm the same exact way. I have to move, or I literally think I'm going to pass out. Like, I have to move around. And I think it's great advice around pretty much anything. Like, if you are working through something that's stressful, if you're working through something upsetting, if you're nervous, like, for me, moving has always been the thing. Like, go for a walk, Go move around. Go, like, just yet. And don't lock your knees, like you said. I saw someone go over at a fitness competition. They were standing next to me, and she was just locked up like a robot. And I was like, this is not going well.

And you know what's happening? Often they're in their head, which is why they're not moving. When you're in your heart or in your body, you. Your body wants to move. And what people, when they're doing, they're so stuck standing there stiffly. What is often happening is they're kind of on the merry go. Well, not so merry go round of doubt where they're spinning in their head. This one thought that's catastrophic for people. And it's the thought of the phrase of what if? Followed by a negative statement. What if they hate me? What if I forget my words? What if I suck? What if people make fun of me? What if this ruins my career? And so it's always a what if statement followed by a negative statement. And that's a very different energy. What that will do is it will spin you what if, what if, what if, what if, what if? And you'll spin it in your. You'll feel it in your head like. Like this. But then you'll feel it in your stomach. And what's happening. That mind body connection's happening. The merry go round of doubt is going in your head. It's also spinning your stomach acids. They know this from research. It's literally, wow, really causing turmoil in your gut. Anxiety.

Yeah.

And so your gut, all of a sudden you get like. It's almost like the stomach acids and the stress and the pressure starts happening. And you do feel like you're going to get sick. But it started up here in your head. What if negative things? What if negative, negative, negative, negative, negative. It spun your stomach. Now you feel like you're literally going to get sick. And I've been backstage with people who get sick from the nerves and it started with their head.

Oh, yeah. I have been one of those people for sure. And I can definitely tell you there was something going on in my stomach. I just didn't know what. I love talking about this because what we're talking about today is reaching your goals. And I truly think that it's. Yes, writing it down is so important in all the things that we're going to go into that all help you. But if you don't overcome this first obstacle of fear and what you're saying in your head is, what if blank happens? I can tell you that I was stuck there forever. So I want to know about. For me, I've had to almost accept all outcomes, but obviously that took me so much work to do that. How did you. For someone who speaks all the time, who's always on like you're a performer, like, you really are on stage. Like, you. I feel like I've watched you and you perform in such a way for people to help us understand and kind of like break down our walls. Like, how are you able to be so free up there? How have you gotten to that place? What have you had to learn to say to yourself in order to be able to be that freely? Brendan, on stage?

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I think a big piece about it is learning to take joy in oneself. Well, what most people say is like, at some point you stop thinking about yourself and you're just there for service. You just want to take care of people. You want to help them with their breakthroughs and everything else. That's what we're supposed to say, right? But the truth is, I'm having so much fun up there now and I take joy in it. Like, I make fun of myself. I'm geeking out out there. I dork about the topics I love. I'm literally geeking out in front of everybody. And I get paid for it. It's amazing. So. But it started with the same thing as everyone else. I have total terror for it. Total terror. And what happened was I was, I think my first year in college and we got assigned to basically read the paper in front of class. And I went up there and my hand was shaking so bad I couldn't even read the paper. And I did so terrible at it. And I felt terrible and I was sweating. I sat down, I felt like I was going to die. And then I watched other people get up in there, just do their thing. And I was like, what have I not learned that they have?

Yeah.

Now notice I didn't say what's wrong with me? Most people's default mode when they see excellence or they see someone do something they can't what's wrong with me? Why can't I? And it's an inadequacy or insecurity. But when you have a growth mindset, when you've done personal development work, you realize the question is, what's wrong with me? It's what's the new competency I need to develop to be able to do that? What's the knowledge, skill, talent, practice, habit that they have that maybe I could learn from? And so I started studying all these great speakers in the past and I started reading about what they did and what they tried. All of them said the same thing, write it out, practice it a billion times. Write it out, practice. You can't skip that. Write it out, practice. Okay, so I write out the whole speech and I'd give it in my dorm room in college. I would walk, I Have a. Like, basically drilled a hole in that carpet, walking in circles, reading out loud to myself. Then I'd go from two or three pages, the whole speech. And I'd try to get down to one page of paragraphs and cues. And then I'd try to get down, like, okay, half a page. And then I'd try to get down, like, okay, you know, five big sentences. Then I got down to five words. And then I was able to go up on any stage anywhere over a period of time with just five little words. And then I just learned to teach myself to memorize five words. And over a series of six years of doing that in front of people, full script, half script, one page, no problem. After six years of doing that, trying and trying and trying, practice, practice, practice getting down. I learned to just speak more spontaneously, trust myself, instead of being in my own head, actually look at people in their eyes and talk to them like they were sitting across the table from me. And then I started finding the joy in seeing the aha's happen for them. And that's what I fell in love with. I was like, oh, I love teaching. And look at. They get so excited about it, and they like this. And then I saw the speaker one time come out to music, and she clapped all the way across the stage. And I was, like, in awe of her. I was like, how did she just. Wow. Because I would stand behind the podium, I was like, I need to just walk and move. So I started teaching myself just to walk and move across stage. And then one day I said, you know what? I'm just going to go out. And I've been on this progressive development. That's all we're talking about here. That's all you gotta think about for New Year's or any goal attainment in your entire life. It's progressive development. Small steps, a little bit more courage. Little. Small steps, a little more courage. Small steps, a little more courage. And you just build up competency. And one day I said, I'm going to go out there to a song and I'm going to clap and dance in front of this audience. Now, for those who can't see me, I'm a kid from Montana, and we know, like, the four step. You know, it's like, one, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. That's all we got. And so I was like, I don't know how to do this. And I literally, for maybe three or four of these events, I would be clapping small rooms. 10, 15 people, 20 people, 40 people, 50 people. And I would go out there and clap with them, and they would always tell me, oh, honey, you're offbeat. I go, am I? Because I'm watching. So I learned to watch them and see how they clap, and I try to bounce and clap with them. And then I had this one assistant, and she got two. This is true story. She heard this from someone else in our industry. She got two flashlights. She went in the back of the seminar. This is one of my first big seminars. I think it was like I had 300 people. Like, it was getting big. I was like, oh, my Gosh, I have 300 people here. She went in the back of the room of the ballroom with the two flashlights. The song comes on. I hit the stage, and she's beating the flashlights. And I'm just watching her hitting the beat with her flashlight to learn how to hit the beat. Not kidding you. This is how small and courageous you have to build up to. And now, you know, I do it. And I broke the Arena Slam last year. Which? Arena Slam in the speaking world is a big thing. It means you have spoken. You've keynoted at every arena in North America.

Whoa.

There's 72.

Crazy.

There's 72 arenas. It took me 15 years. I broke it last year. St. Louis was my last one. And so arenas are usually, you know, 5,000, 10,000, 15, 20,000 people.

Yeah.

And there's only about 70 of them in North America. And now I've spoke, I've keynoted all of them, been the main keynote at all of them. So I went from that kid who literally is shaking so bad with a piece of paper to over a series of years, trusting in myself, doing courageous acts to now, you know, put me in front of 30,000 people. And it's like home up there. It doesn't bother me at all. Again, the energy is there.

Yeah.

But none of that fear or discouragement that would shut me down.

You know, I think even just from hearing that, what's so great is just hearing. Like, you cannot skip over the consistency. Like, you cannot skip over the multiple times of how many times you have to get up there to start feeling confident in yourself and, like, how cool it is to hear. Okay, yes, you start speaking and you start understanding how to do your talk and have less notes. But then there's this layer of, now I want to clap on stage, and now I want to entertain, and now I want to. And that all takes practice. Like, look how many arenas you spoke in for me to look at you and go, hey, you're awesome. Does that come easy to you? And you're like, yeah. 2,000 times later, that comes easy. So I think that's.

People see me go in the audience and talk with participants, and they're like, whoa. He goes in the audience, people stand up, he talks to them, he coaches them. The first time I did that, I was mortified. He was like, what if I don't know how to help this person? Yeah.

Oh, my God. Yeah. That would make me so nervous. Yes.

You know, here's all these hundreds of people paying lots of money to be there, and someone stands up, and I don't know how to help them. But I was like, well, how am I going to learn if I never learn to do that? What's going to come of my career? Like, that's a differentiator. And so I do think it's just having the ambition, which we'll talk about. The ambition to get better, the ambition to serve at a higher level, the ambition to push yourself, because otherwise life gets pretty boring.

Okay, so you have, like, the ultimate energy. You really do. Like, you are. And I know that that is probably created. So that is one of my biggest questions is you are one of the people whose books I grab or that I go and listen to when I'm just like, oh, I just. I need, like, that energy back in my life where I need to get re. Excited about something. How do you keep that in your daily life? Because truly, I've never spoken to you when you are not excited. And it. It rubs off on me. I'm like, I don't even know. I'm so excited. But we're just sitting here. It's so great.

You know, I have this dominant metaphor in my entire life, and this has driven my life for so long. And this dominant metaphor I learned and heard was the power plant doesn't have energy. It generates energy. What a power plant does is it draws energy from one source, which is of lower utilization, and it actually transforms that energy into a higher utilization of energy. Then it stores or transmits it out to the public. That's what a power plant does. It doesn't have energy. It transforms and transmits energy. And I remember hearing that, like, that's what I want life to be like. Because, Lori, if you ever came into my house in the morning and, like, you're hanging out with my wife, and I wake up and I come out, I'm kind of like, well, I'm an idiot, basically, and I kind of wander around. I'm one of those slow to wake up people like my wife. Bam, she's up, she's rocking it, she can do stuff. I'm like a nutty professor in the morning a little bit, right? And if I didn't choose to change that, I'd be like that all day. So I have to run a morning routine that gets me energized and engaged and reminds me like, oh, my energy affects my wife. I want to be good energy. My energy affects my team. I want it to be good energy. My energy makes an impact on people, positive or negative. I want it to be good. It's like Oprah taught her. I had the blessing of working with Oprah, as you know. And one of the craziest things she told me and she talks about now about this story that she had gone into a waiting room for an interview or something and there was a sign that said, please be responsible for the energy you bring into this space. So good.

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Oh man. Can I get that sign?

Yeah. Be responsible for the energy you bring into this space.

And we print them quick for Christmas for everyone.

I bet it's out there because over talks about it and I feel like that is a mind bending idea. Just like the power plant doesn't have energy, you choose to generate the energy of your life. You choose to generate your happiness. You choose to generate enthusiasm. You choose to generate excitement. You choose to generate love. See, most people like I wish I had love it's like, well, generate some, you know. I wish I was enthusiastic as you, Brendan. Well, okay, sit down and think about the things that you can get excited about today or in the future. You have to do the work to generate the energy, but when you do, it's just a whole other level of life experience. I think we have to choose our own attitude. And I learned these things. I know some people are like, well, you're talking very philosophical, Brennan. No. When I was a 19 year old kid, I was heartbroken from the breakup of my first love, a girl I thought I was going to marry. We went to school together and she cheated in the relationship. My whole identity was tied in that relationship. So when that relationship fell apart, I fell apart and I fell into the deepest depression. Not just couldn't get out of bed, suicidal ideation, planned it, wrote letters. I was in the darkest place I can imagine. And then I got in a car accident that made me realize I didn't want to die. I just didn't know how to live. And so I started, I was like, I knew I was like, the car accident was a profound realization of like, I do want to live and I want to love again and I want to matter and do something with my life. I just didn't know how. So I turned to personal development. Psychology, philosophy, sociology, human behavior change. I started reading all this stuff because I wanted to be happy. I had to learn how to be happy. And then of course, later on, I learned exactly what you teach. You have to earn that, you have to do the work to earn that happy. So I learned, oh, I have to choose my attitude. I have to focus on positive things. I have to speak goodness into this world. I have to act with integrity. I have to treat people with kind. Like all the simple things we take for granted in personal development. I started doing them because I didn't want to be unhappy anymore. But the critical thing that changed me during that time, my entire 20s, reading all these books that all said the same thing. You are responsible for your life. You're responsible for your attitude, you're responsible for your actions. You're responsible for how you treat people. Take that seriously and live a good life.

I want to know what has generated motivation for you, but also freeing people up to not necessarily have to do certain things that people say are what you need to do, like have certain.

Things not worked for you and how.

Is, how has that changed for you through the years? And how do you start to know when something has stopped working and you're like, I'm going to try something new or, you know, this might have been great for me or meditating or whatever, but I actually don't feel like I need to do it right now. Like, what, what does that look like for you? The evolution of, like, motivating yourself.

Oh, my gosh. I would say the first and foremost that each day it's really important for me to have that morning routine. I know everyone talks about it, but because the way my brain works, because of the accident and another accident I've had in my life, I've had a brain injury. And so I kind of have to get myself revved up. And so in the morning, I start with very first thing is that when I wake up, I do about 15, 20 minutes of just stretch and mobility work. I literally hit the ground. I'm doing vinyasa. I'm doing mobility work. I'm doing jumping jacks, pushups, whatever I need to do to activate my body. Then I spend 20 minutes reading personal Development every morning because I need that positive mindset. Even to this day. I teach it, I still need it. So I read Personal development. I read Personal Development every single morning. Every morning. Then I spend 20 minutes planning and thinking through the day. Not five minutes checking my calendar. Not 20 minutes doing social media. Not 20 minutes answering emails. 20 minutes just thinking through the day, visualizing, feeling the day. That helps me. And then I'm off to the day to go do it. When I come in the studio, you can't see right off camera here I have, I call it my battle board, which is a big wall of all these goals over the course of this year. And every morning I stand and stare at it for like five minutes because again, I told you I'm really dumb in the morning. So I look at it and I think about each of those goals and I think about that timeline. And I start revving in my brain visualizing, getting excited about it. It might be the same thing I looked at yesterday. In fact, it is. But I got excited. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm doing that.

Okay.

Hey, that's cool. Oh, yeah, I forgot. Oh, yeah. I want that. I have to remind. You have to remind yourself of your ambition and your goals way more than you think. You literally cannot do it once a month. You have to do it once a day to touch the helm of the future. If you're disconnected from your future, that's why you're disconnected from a certain energy now. And so it's like, oh, I have enthusiasm for those things. That's right. Then I do little weird mind tricks, like I call them door triggers. Like this door. Every time I walk in this door in the studio here, I walk in, I say, here enters a happy man. Ready to serve.

That's good.

I walk through that door 15 times a day. And so I'm telling, oh, I'm a happy man. Oh, I want to serve. And so I know that sounds silly, but affirmations like that but triggered something. Walk through a door, say something to yourself. Or if you're waiting in line, say something to yourself. Or if you're about to start the day, say something to yourself. Those things are really important. You asked about what didn't work with all the other stuff they say you have to do. I think it's more of a collection of things that add to your energy. So those things, for me, I've teached this acronym called meds. Rx. Meds. Like meds, like take your meds? Yeah. Rx like pharmacy.

Right.

And meds are meditation, exercise, diet, sleep. That's meds, Meditation, exercise, diet, sleep.

So good.

So many people in person development, I don't remember who came up with that, by the way, but out of the 50s almost. Then Rx, positive relationships, not having positive relationships, generating them, you are responsible for the positivity in relationship. And then X is like any supplementation that you might need, which I need for brain health. And so that's it. Meds, rx. And over a period of time, that just adds up to. You feel better, you have more energy. And when you have more energy, it exudes from you. Right. You've had those days when you're wiped out and everyone around you can feel it.

Yes.

And you had those days when you were just, man, you slept good, you ate right. You felt good. And everyone around can feel that too. Yeah, well, I've just been trying to feel good and generate good energy for, you know, 16 some years now, full time. So it's just I. I'm now naturally this annoying, but it took a long time to become this happy.

It took a long time to become this annoying. And everyone should strive to. To be it. It's like, it's literally amazing. And I remember you saying that I think it was at Lewis's Mastermind saying that you had those triggers. I adopted that for when I open up Zoom, because I feel like Zoom can be so Zoom is like people get on and I feel like it's just a bunch of, like, we all just look like gray people. Like we're so sad. And I was like, no, it doesn't have to be such a sad place. So I always try to be like I try. But yes, it literally stuck in my head as like, oh, the. The triggers of when you walk through somewhere, how do you want to be?

And it work.

It really works. Like, it's a conscious choice to be.

Listen, I love this. You are earning your happy. Let me replace the word for people. You are conditioning your happy. Either you have routines and activities, you are doing this, conditioning a high level of energy, happiness, fulfillment, joy, confidence, fulfillment, or you don't. And what happens? So many people are going through life on autopilot, hoping somebody, something gives them that energy that they spend most their lives in a very low level of misery that they don't recognize is happening once they develop the habits. And now those habits are flourishing. It's like being around a different person because every. See, I always tell people, like, your energy right now was conditioned by the last 72 hours. So we know that biologically, like your digestion system, right? So what you ate 72 hours ago or what you drank 72 hours ago is affecting you now. How you slept 72 hours ago is affecting you now. So that means what? The moment we're living in right now, what we're choosing to eat, how we're choosing to move, how we're choosing to act, what we're focusing on now has a residual energetic effect 72 hours later. Once you connect that what I'm doing now has an energetic effect now, you don't ever say, oh, I feel so terrible. I don't know why. Well, I know why. Because the last 72 hours ago, I ate pizza with a bottle of wine. I stayed up watching a season of Netflix. I didn't actually do this 72 hours ago, but I have. There is no mystery to most people's energy. They just lack the consciousness to say, what have I done the last 72 hours that might lead to this?

I think of this all the time. Whenever I'm like, oh, I don't feel great. So I'm like, oh, yeah, I know exactly why. And when I'm thinking of, you know, the. The bigger my goals have gotten, the more I've had to optimize, like, how I'm sleeping and what I'm eating. And I've had to look at, you know, because you really are trading. It's kind of like, what are you trading in your dreams for? And it's kind of like I realized, oh, I was trading in some of my dreams for, like, you know, a glass or two of wine every night because my dreams are bigger. Like, I can't necessarily do that all the time because I need that extra. I need that extra edge. I need that extra energy to be able to maintain and hold maybe, maybe some of the extra stress that comes with it. Maybe some of the extra, like, brain power that I need to have, Maybe some of the extra patience that it takes away from me when I've had that second glass of wine where I'm like, I'm just. I'm not going to be able to show up in the best way that I want to. And it's like, it's so interesting when it comes down to those little things that are actually huge things. Like when we think about what's blocking people, what do you typically see? Because everybody's listening to this after the new year, they all want to go to the next level. They all want to do the big thing, but they're burnt out after a week because something in their life is not supporting them, whether it's their brain or it's their food. What's the first thing that you start with when somebody is like, I'm already worn out. It's week two of the new year, and I fell off the wagon of life?

Yeah. Well, I think it does start with the simple idea of goals, but let me reframe it a little bit. We all want every single human listening to this. We all want exactly the same thing. I bet everything you wrote down for New Year's was exactly the same. Humans only have four aspirations. Once you get beyond sustenance or safety or even a sense of belonging, now everything comes down to we all want four things. The first thing we all want is a sense of aliveness. Those are being goals. I want to feel more alive, energized, joyous, healthy. Like that sense of aliveness in our being. And energetically. The second thing we all want is more connection, Deeper relationships, more real relationships, but also connection with ourselves, like to know ourselves. Connection with God or connection with the moment, Connection with our spouse or our children. It's like an overarching. Like any relationship goal you've ever had or spiritual goal you've ever had was about connection. Third thing we all want is meaningful pursuits. Meaningful. I want to do something. I want to pursue something I care about. And this is really important for successful people listening. Because if you've lost your edge or your drive or your ambition, it's because maybe you're doing something that's meaningful, but it's not a pursuit like something you have to chase like something that's hard because a lot of people, as you and I both know, they have a meaningful life, but they don't feel happy because there has to be a pursuit there, right? A challenge totally. And then in the middle of all this, because I always draw as a triangle, aliveness, connection, meaningful pursuits. In the middle is growth. We want to grow, we want to sense that we're getting better. That's where we want competency or mastery or that expanded feeling of taking on a challenge and having the pride of doing something. And so I know that we all want that. So where would I start? I'm like, well, which of those do you need to work on? Which of those? And it might be all of them, but which of those might you want to work on? And choose one or two, three things that you want there. So once I understand that now it comes down to three things that kind of go around all that. And this is perfect timing of the year to talk about this. The first thing that goes around all that is ambition. Most people's ambition is set towards their past and their current circumstances and competencies. Meaning they're living a caged ambition. They don't realize it, but their ambition is anchored to old situations, to current circumstances, or to what they're currently capable of.

Yes, yes.

A proper healthy ambition is what would I like for the future? And it's okay that I don't know how to do that. What would I like for the future? It's okay that I've never done that before. What would I like for the future for me and my family? It's okay, I'm not like other people who've done that. Yet a healthy ambition is freed from that where you can say, this is what I dream of, this is what I like. And now I'm going to go build myself up or build up my character, my skills, my knowledge, my capabilities, my relationships, my network in order to actually move towards that. And that's how I'm like, I just want to know where their ambition is. And if I hear them talk about it and I hear that they're stuck in the past or something going on in their life today, we gotta unblock that and allow this person to understand the value and the freedom that comes with real future oriented goals unattached to do you know how? Of course you don't know how. That's the job is to go learn how. Oh well, I'm not like her. I can't have that thing in the future. I'm like, you don't need to be like her. You need to understand what competencies or knowledge or skills or strategies did she follow. And you just have to start following those and, well, that's too far out in the future. It's going to take a while. Well, yeah, you're going to live a while. Expand your timeline from what's on Netflix tonight and look out to a season or two out front. And so I want to unlock their ambition from past or current circumstances. Then when I understand our mission now, I'm going to go, okay, can we have a. Just look at your competency? Like, what are you good at? What comes natural to you? What are the things you're trying to develop? I tell everybody at Lori, I'm like, let me look at your calendar. If I look at your next couple weeks or your next couple months and I can't identify a skill that you're trying to develop in your calendar, then that means you're winging it through life. If you're winging it through life, it takes so much longer to develop any great success or mastery. Let's just get, as you probably teach, let's get you on a program, because having a plan is way more important than winging it. You'll save so much time. So go buy, invest or learn in a plan or a program that will help you get faster, especially this time of year. That's relevant because people set a lot of goals and they're going to. I guess I'll wing it. I'll wait till it happens. It's like not going to happen like that. And then last piece. So if you have ambition and the freedom around that, you have competency and the willingness to develop that, then a huge part about that is, do you have a coach or community that will help you stay connected and inspired, that will help you through the bad days, that will give you examples of other people, that will allow someone to call you and check in on you once a week. That really has the people around you, the peer set that kind of elevates you, not because you're trying to measure up to them, but just because you're, like, in awe of them. You know, I have people in my peer groups. I'm like, wow, they're amazing. I'm not like that. I just love being around amazing people. When I'm around amazing people, it makes me want to do amazing things. Not to compete, not to compare, but just because it's like, wow, they unleash something in them. I want to unleash something in me. And it's inspiring. And I know that's a big framework, but that's how I would think through helping somebody this time of year.

The community portion is really interesting because I feel like community is one of the easiest ways to transform without even having to think about it sometimes because it's like by osmosis. Like, you literally cannot help yourself from becoming either better or worse dependent upon who you are around.

Yes.

And so for me, just the realization, you know, I talk about community all the time, but it's like every single year of my life, I realize how important that is, because you really do. No matter what you insert yourself into, you're going to become it. So for somebody who has not have the community yet, right. Like, they've got the goals. They're kind of a solopreneur. They have one or two people. I want them to see just how much community you have in your life and what that actually looks like, to be who you are and maintain what you're doing. And I know that it takes so much time, but I want people to understand how important that is to build. Continue to build that community around you with people who bring you up.

Yeah, well, listen, I shared with everyone earlier. I'm from Montana, so my community began with a horse. So, like, I literally. I moved to San Francisco from Montana in my 20s. I didn't know a single person well there. And when I started this career as a writer and as a coach, I didn't know anyone else who did that. So I think this idea that you have to know all these people at the beginning to start, I'm like, no, you. What you need just like in life is, you know, every year try to add one new friend. That's all. One new good or great friend every year. Well, I say do that in general, but also because that one new great friend, they probably also have two other awesome friends, and now you actually have three each year. Well, if that's true for friendship and your life, well, that's true for your career or the thing you're trying to do with your goals. You go, can I find somebody who's doing this? Somebody, especially if they're a little bit further ahead of me. Can I message them, DM them, ask them questions? Do they have a course, a program, a membership? Do they do events? Have they written a book? Can I learn from them, connect with them, add value to them in some way now? I mean, just somebody locally for you. I tell people all around the world, if you don't have an amazing peer group and you Want to get around the most successful people in your entire community and town? Would you love to do that? If I could show you how to do that free. Everyone goes, yeah. Oh, my God. I go volunteer. You want to meet the most successful people in your hometown? Volunteer. That's where they're at. I don't know where they're at. I'm like, they're volunteering because successful people have a servant's heart, servant leadership. They care about giving back. So go volunteer at the soup kitchen, go volunteer at the playground, go volunteer at the schools, go volunteer at the churches. And you'll meet other people. And they're so ambitious and helpful and who will help you more than a volunteer? And so go talk to volunteers. Volunteer with volunteer and go, hey, volunteers, I'm trying to do this. Do you know anyone? They're like, oh, yes, this person, that person. And so I built my network when I moved to San Francisco. Yeah, by volunteering. There was an organization, it's called Kiwanis. And people know, like Kiwanis or Rotary Club or Lions Club all around the world, those types of service based clubs. I joined one and I met tons of people there and I just asked them, do you know anyone like this? I'm trying to do this. I'm like, oh, here you go, kid. And they kind of point me in the right direction and I pick up one little friend or two little friends and then three little friends. And then as I got better, I said, well, who's a little further than me? And I tried to add value to them or promote them and then say, hey, thanks for promoting me, kid. I'm like, yeah, hey, can I ask you a question? Or I'd found out they had a group, I joined their group or I found out they were doing something where I could go learn, I'd go learn. And so I think staying in learning mode, volunteer mode, adding value to other people mode, you can't help but attract people when that's sincere and authentic over a period of time. You look up one day and you're like, wow, I'm surrounded by awesome people.

Number one, you have an incredible app. And I want to talk all about that because it really is. It is a spot where I feel like you've worked with so many people, you've done this for yourself, you've done this for other people. And when I look at the app, I'm like, this has everything all in one space spot. But before we talk about it, I want to ask you, when you work with high performers, is it the same conversation. Are we, like, dealing with the same exact thing when they're trying to break through to something new? What does that look like when you first walk in with a high performer and they're like, look, I want to do this or go to the next level, but I feel like I can't, or, like, what is that conversation?

Yeah, I think it's every coaching conversation with high performers as a matter of Oprah, two US presidents, like, 15 Olympic teams, like, I've coached everybody or had interactions like that at level with people. It's always the same clarity. It's always clarity. It's getting them clear about who they really are, what they really want at this stage of their life. Because maybe it's different. They had a child or their children flew the nest, or they're at this stage of the career in the company or the company now at this point. It's always clarity. It's always, who are you? What do you really desire at this stage? What might be tripping you up on that, holding you back, causing concern? What do you really want to contribute? What really brings you joy, confidence, energy, fulfillment? Let's just get clear on that. So that's why I love this time of year. People are getting clear about that. People. People are so energized at the beginning of the year because they're getting clear again. When you have clarity, you have energy. Yes. And so let's just get a little clarity. It always starts with clarity. Then the second move is usually not like they need to know what to do. The second move is usually the confidence and the courage to go. And that's where the unblocking or the unleashing happens, where it's like, okay, let's find that reason for you, that energy, that excitement for a while. You actually go do this. Another third thing is what we call competing interests. It means they probably want five things, and they're all competing for the time and energy and effort. And we just have to get good at. We don't have to get rid of them per se. Let's just get good at prioritization of our competing interests and make sure that prioritization shows up in the calendar, which I know sounds so tactical, but, for example, yes, you want to be a good mom, and you want to be a great entrepreneur, and you have this passionate hobby over here. All of those are okay, but they are competing for your time and energy and effort. Yeah. So let's just organize them a little bit, get them in their blocks on the calendar so that each of Them can win, but they're not equally all holding you back. And then just that regular, consistent conversation about performance. No, it sounds so silly. But if you're not talking about how you're showing up or what you're getting done or how you're moving your life forward with somebody who knows how to, like, energize you there, what's happening is you're going home and you're venting about the day to your spouse and you're hoping they can help you. And your spouse is like, ah, I.

Had my own day. Yeah.

I have my own competing interests. You're freaking me out. You're freaking me out. And that's what we do. Or worse, we go to our family and we're telling them all these things we're working on, and they're like, yeah, well, I know you. You're never going to do any of those. You're never going to finish those. And you get around people who start diminishing you versus empowering you. This is why coaching and community again become so important.

Well, what I love about this is we've gone through so many of the fears. We've gone through so many of the things that we all deal with it literally. I don't care who I'm talking to. It's always the same conversation, Brendan. But I love that you've created a spot for people to have something, to track progress, to get clear, to write down goals and have community all in one spot. Like, when you were first telling me about it, I literally was like, I need this in my life right now because I am not a linear person. I am like, if I have a journal and I'm traveling around, I might leave it somewhere. And I'm like, dang it. Like, I. I literally just, like, got out of the groove. And you have it all in one spot. So, first of all, this was an interesting project for you because, you know, it's not like you. I don't know how you are in the level of tech, but this was probably a big, scary, audacious goal that you took on creating this app. But it meant so much to you to have a place that someone can go, to have everything all in one spot. So I want to know just a little bit about why you created this and then tell us about it.

Yeah, well, it's called Growth Day, and Growth Day is basically your home for personal development. We all want to achieve more and be more and feel more and love more and grow more, but where do we go for that? I realized in My own journey. Like, okay, yeah, I have my journals over here and I also track these habits over here and I also set my goals over here. And oh, I learned from these inspiring teachers over here. Oh, and I have some courses from some guys I bought over here. And oh yeah, I connect with the community once in a while. I want to go to a conference all over the place and I thought, what if we just put that all in one system? So to your point, I took on the biggest tech effort of my life and said, tell you what, we're going to build a system for personal growth and success that the world will use. And know that that's where you go to do personal growth. That's it. That's where you go. Because we're going to build the world's best mindset journal. And most people don't journal because they hate facing a blank page. They don't know what to write about or they forget to journal. Okay, Our technology is going to prompt them, give them research back, writing exercises, affirmations or journal entries about gratitude or life or mindset to write about. And all they have to do is open it. It will prompt them, say, hey, write about this today. Or if it's the weekend or the end of the month, they can press a button and get a whole list of questions to reflect on their week or their month that will increase their self awareness. Then we built all this tech for habit tracking. You know, the biggest research study of all time we did called high performance habits and this huge institute study about the habits that lead us to long term success. We built all these assessments that you can take daily or weekly or monthly to stay on track. We built a goal planner in there. We put in challenges from myself, some NFL players, Mel Robbins High five challenge, my clarity challenge. Those are all in there. Every week we go live with a motivational teacher or major life coach. People who charge fifty thousand or a hundred thousand dollars for one hour. They're in growth day every week.

That's awesome.

We have a different teacher every week, including Lori Harder teaching.

I love it.

Once a month in growth day. So we just said, let's bring the best people together to teach and keep people motivated. So we're live every single week with incredibly famous teachers. And then we collected a group of courses, I would say the best personal growth courses out there. And we built a community feature where instead of being on Facebook or some other weird group, this is like your private place to actually share and engage with achievers from around the world. And we're Blessed. You know, we got 300,000 achievers in there now who really understand that you need a system for success. You can't just kind of wing it. If you want to grow, you need something and somebody prompting you along the way to stay on track. And most importantly, it's hard to stay inspired on the daily basis. So every day I leave an exclusive life coaching audio in the app. Every day, like 365 days of this level of annoyance and energy. Every day it's a new one. It disappears at midnight. Every day gone. So it's like our way of getting people in there. So most people, they go in there, they start their morning, they listen to that. It's five, 10 minutes to just fire to get them going for the day. And they love it. And they can, of course, take notes across all these things. It saves all their notes. But you'll see it has all these features and tools. It just makes personal development kind of fun, but also sticky because a lot of people get hyped for self help, but it doesn't stick. You need an app or a system to help it stick. And that's why we made Growth Day.

I love it so much, and I feel like there's options for just short, quick things that you can do. And I think that's the thing that also makes me feel accomplished. It's like, oh, I can go in there and get my hit and get motivated and know that I'm also kind of like, I can look over my goals or whatever that looks like. It's so cool. I love it. I know. You're like, you should be so proud of it. I know that you are. I feel so blessed to be a part of this community. Community like you. You literally have no idea. You guys, you've been hearing me talk about it on this podcast. Like, this has been such a blessing, Brendan, to be a part of the Growth Day Podcast network, like, beyond, honestly, one of the biggest blessings of my life. Because when you put so much and this is talking about for people to even, like, go and join the Growth Day community, because when you put so much time into your own thing and whoever's listening is like, they're out there in the world and they're trying to figure it out and they're doing their own thing, it is so much better with people. Life can be so rich and so fun, and the lessons that we learn don't have to be painful for long if we have community. And I just feel like, you know, being a part of this podcast network has been Such a blessing with such incredible people, and to feel like I'm not a solo podcaster anymore, even though I'm not sitting podcasting with you guys all the time, it does feel more like a group and like we're doing something all together.

And I think that's what the app will offer. Everybody listening.

Go get in. In the atmosphere of Brennan, I'm being so serious. You were one of the first people whose atmosphere I got into, and my life changed. And I think that when you find those people who bring your energy up, get in their atmosphere, get in their communities, because their community is also so similar to them. And I can tell you from being in your community, I was like, am I a great speaker? Because these people are making me feel like I'm incredible. Like, who are these humans? Like, the community is. They just give back so much energy. It's awesome. So you guys go check that out. It's all in the show notes. Brendan, I'm so grateful for you. Thank you so much for coming on. Is there anything else that you want to leave with people?

Yeah, I just want to reflect what you said, that you are a great speaker, and you're like, oh, people are making me feel like I'm a great speaker. I'm like, you're amazing. You're an amazing teacher. You're an incredible influencer. You're an incredible woman. You're an incredible leader. So I feel right back, I'm so blessed to have you part of growth day. Like, our community is pumped. All of our other teachers are like, what? Lori's coming on. They're, like, so hyped. And I know because you are. And like so many of us, we are. We work from home or, you know, we're a solopreneur or we're trying to build our business. We're so busy with team that we forget that there's this whole other, you know, aspect of our career or network of people out there who are like, hey, you're doing a good job. Hey, you're awesome. And you get that feedback a little bit, and it's really empowering. Everyone needs that. Everyone needs that in their career somewhere. We see that in growth day we have these growth groups. People can start a group and growth day, like. Like actually a live class, like a Zoom or a clubhouse, and they can do it in growth day and have personal development conversations. And we hear all the time people saying, I found my crew. I found my tribe. I found the people who are like, I resonate with. And they didn't even Know, because if you're the most successful person in your life, and sometimes maybe you're not around other people who are appreciating your hard work, or maybe you're not around other people who are also like, oh, yeah, man, I'm going through this, too. I also hired some people. Or, oh, yeah, hey, I'm dealing with the same thing, you know, trying to be my best for my community. And when you get around hundreds of thousands of people who have that mentality of like, hey, I'm going through this too. I'm trying to get better. I'm trying to improve, get around people who want to grow their life. And that's what happened with Growth Day. Denise and I were walking. We were in. We were on an island literally at the time, and we were walking and having this conversation. We're talking about the time. This was during the pandemic. We were talking about, why is this people feeling, you know, so not good? Well, obviously, the aliveness and the connection, the meaningful pursuits got halted for a little bit of time. I said, well, also, what's happening right now is people aren't feeling that progress. They're not having those days where they did something and they felt good about it. Those growth days, you know, those days of growth. When you have a day of growth, you feel so good. And it came out. I was like, oh, growth days. Oh, the world. If you want to improve your life, you want to be happier, you need more days of growth, more growth days. That's where that came from, growth day. And so I just want to encourage everyone listening. No matter how you've been feeling over these last couple years, I just want you to know there's a. Literally a worldwide community of people who are trying to grow their lives. And so if the people around you aren't like that, come join us at Growth Day because you can feel more connected and joyful because there are people like you who just want a better life. And they talk differently, they're more vulnerable, they share more, they share their lessons more, they share their success more, they share their strategies more. They're excited when you get progress instead of jealous. You know, it's just different when you're around real strivers, real achievers, people growing their lives. It's a different energy in life, and I want you to have that. So when you go to growthday.com, you have a free trial. Go check it out for 14 days, you'll be like, holy cow, this is amazing. And I want people to experience that, because when you See and you hear these messages of encouragement and empowerment, it changes your days.

Oh, man. You guys definitely go check it out. I think one of the coolest things and I share on this podcast a lot, one of the ways that I, like, got out into the world was doing a Facebook Live every single day. And I think this is such a way, way cooler challenge is to go join Growth Day and start your own community. Like, do your own live. Cast your own growth groups. Yeah, like your own growth group. That literally would be the fastest way, I feel like, to get out there, to get over fear, to accelerate your growth and be in a community that supports you. Like, I want to start my own little challenge within there to do that. That is so amazing. And go in there. Brendan, obviously you can get a dose of this every day. Every single day. You can get some motivation and excitement in your life and you get to join this amazing community. So go and check it out. I'm absolutely loving it. I get to teach in there once a month, which has just been such an amazing experience. So much fun to be in that community. And, you guys, the biggest gift you can give to Brendan is, number one, go check that out. Number two, give him a shout out on Instagram and let him know what your biggest takeaway from this podcast was. It's so nice to hear who's listening and see who's listening and hear what the takeaway was so that we can connect with you guys. So until next time, earn your happy. Bye. Bye, everyone.