Confidence, Leadership & Belonging | The Lessons Every Woman Needs with Noel Roberts Coley

I love when a woman embraces just everything she loves— herself, her identity, everything. And what I love about you is that you just own it.

I can remember being in college. I've always loved red lipstick, and I was in college, and I can remember reading in a magazine, men aren't attracted to red lipstick, don't wear red lipstick. So I stopped wearing it because I was like, oh my gosh, I don't want boys to not like me. I don't want to be too much. I don't want to be unapproachable or whatever. So I quit wearing red lipstick. It took me a while to figure out every single one of us is irreplaceable. Wear the dress, wear the bikini, wear the red lipstick, do the thing, and you're only gonna get the people around you that are meant to be there.

Noel, welcome to the podcast.

Hi, thank you for having me.

Oh my gosh, this is so fun. I feel like what I, what I really wish, and we're gonna try to repeat, is if we would've had a microphone at a couple of our dinners. At the masterminds where I've gotten to talk to you, just really dive into who you are, what you do, what you see, because you guys, I am sitting with one of the most amazing women who owns an absolutely incredible business. And you know, your business is something that I feel like fulfills a little like piece of my childhood dream that I never got to do. So I'm obsessed with all of your content, but you own Diamonds All Stars. Will you tell us just a little bit about it?

Yes, absolutely. First of all, thank you. I'm so excited. So I own Diamonds All-Stars in Knoxville, Tennessee. It is an all-star cheerleading gym where I have got kids from— we start at age 3 and go all the way up to adults. And we— from all walks of life, all cultures, all ages, all abilities. And we take these teams and we travel all over and compete and The sport of all-star cheerleading is really an amazing thing and I get to do that for work.

So this is literally a business you built from nothing. This was bootstrapped.

Yes.

Abs—

100%.

Okay. I, I'm like, literally need to know the origin story. So tell me, what was it in you? Were you, tell us how you grew up. Were you a cheerleader? What did that all look like?

Yeah, so I cheered my entire life.

Okay. From what age? I, cause I know nothing about like the world of cheerleading.

Yeah. So you're really interested. So I feel like I had started wanting to do that since I was a baby hearing my mom talk. Like it's all I did. I was the person that was was putting on the shows. I either wanted to be sitting and doing interviews or I wanted everybody to come in and see me dance, do a show, like whatever. And so I started cheering from as long as I can remember. And then I cheered All-Star my entire life. And then I went on to cheer in college, had a series of injuries that took me out of that. And I never meant to open an All-Star cheerleading gym. I didn't mean to create Diamonds. It just kind of happened on accident. Yeah. Um, I actually wanted to be a psychologist for young women. That's what I always thought I would be.

Well, you get to be.

Exactly. It, it's so funny how that works out.

Yeah.

Because you don't ever realize that you're gonna be forced in the direction that you should have chosen for yourself.

Oh, that gives me the chills.

Yeah. And here I am, I am a psychologist in a way.

Mm-hmm.

So yeah, I kind of fell into it. I didn't know what I was gonna do. And, um, my mom kind of kicked me outta the car one day and was like, go in here and see if you can start teaching cheerleading. Somebody looked at me and said, okay, we, we want you to do this, so what do you need? And I said, just a space and a spring floor. Wow. And then Diamonds was just kind of born from that. And then here I am. But yeah, no investor, no business plan, no nothing. Just quite literally started from nothing, and here we are.

And you have a multi-million dollar business, which when people— I, I don't I don't think people understand unless you're in it, unless you're a cheer mom and in that space, you don't quite understand what this world really looks like. Can you, can you kind of paint us a picture about what that world is? Why is there so much money in it? What, what is it?

Yeah. So on the outside, all-star cheerleading is the glitz and the glam and the uniforms and the hair and the makeup. And I mean, the everything is, is, it is, it's wildly expensive. But then there's so much more to it than that. It's also the most beautiful sport in the world because it quite literally cannot— it takes them all. If every single piece of the puzzle isn't there, the puzzle just does not work. So if there's a team of 22, all 22 of them are immensely important. So it teaches teamwork. Then you have to be brave enough to get up on a stage and perform this. You've got to push your body to places that you didn't know. You could ever push your body to. All— I mean, we're talking about starting at 3 years old here and just growing up in a sport like that, that you need all these people around you, but then you have to realize how important you are as well. So like the person beside you is super important, but you are super important to make all of this even happen. So it's just, it's a really cool thing.

Wow. I mean, the level of like lessons that are going on at every single age. What, what ages are— I mean, like, it's kind of mind-blowing what's happening in my head right now because I did not grow up with that. And so I had to learn all of that older. Like I had to learn how to work with women. I had to work with a team. I had to figure all of that out. I had to figure out that everyone is an important piece of the puzzle. And what, what ages are people coming to you? Do, do most of them start really young or do some start as a teen or what does that look like?

So we have got 3-year-olds that come in the door.

Yeah.

And then we have 17-year-olds that walk in the door. Mm-hmm. Some have lots of experience, some have zero. Mm-hmm. So whenever I say quite literally, those huge age gaps, but then also ability gaps. There might be a 5-year-old walk in that has more skills at that time than a 16-year-old who walks in the door. Like it is, it is that big of a variation. But the lessons are the same. You know, the, the teamwork and the he or she is important. I'm important. If I decide to be lazy and not go to practice today, my whole team is suffering. If I don't do my job today, they're suffering. I, or if I walk in and I do what I'm supposed to do, but then this person doesn't, then I'm suffering. You know, it's, it, the lessons are the same whether they walk in at 5 years old or whether they walk in at 18. Wow.

We're gonna dig deep into that in just a minute cuz I wanna go back to, you know, all of a sudden you're in this business that you did not expect.

Yes.

What on earth did you start doing?

Did you get a mentor?

How did you even learn how to build out what you were now in?

You know, I, Just one day at a time. Yeah, I did it one day at a time. I didn't mean to do it. And I think that that's a lot of the beauty in it. And something that I think is cool is I was just so naive. I was so young and stupid. That helps. It helps immensely. And that's sometimes my biggest advice to people is be naive. Don't ask too many questions. Don't try to figure out all the things because if you do, then you're going to get scared and then you're not going to do it. Just if you really want it, one day at a time and just figure it out from there. And that, that's what I did. And it was really hard and it was really scary. I mean, there, there are crazy things. Like I got my first building and I, the fire code person or whatever comes in and they're like, your door handles aren't right. You have to have a, a panic bar because you have a children's business. So you have to get these bars put on the door so that children can easily get out of them. And obviously wildly expensive. I didn't know that. What if I would've dug into all of these things and fire codes and all this stuff and then been like, I can't do that. I can't figure that out.

You would've stopped you.

But right when the fireman came in and said, you have to do this, I had no choice but to figure it out.

Like if I wanna stay open, I have to figure it out.

Exactly. So, but I mean, that's just a small example, but I just took it one day at a time.

Yeah. And majority of things are not gonna be things that are like, oh, now you're in huge trouble. A lot of things in business is like, you're gonna get warnings, you're gonna figure it out.

It's nothing.

And I think that's what stops people is these major, like, looking way too deep into all of the things. Chat is great. Chat and Claude are great, but now sometimes it can be a lot because it's like the whole plan can be in front of you and it can look like a lot where, like you said, one thing at a time, you're going to figure out literally one thing at a time. What's been, what's been one of the hardest things of building it to where you are right now?

I think The overwhelm, like let's all just call it for what it is. Whenever you build a business that you're so proud of and that is amazing, the overwhelm that comes with that is insane.

Yeah.

So trying to figure out also who I am in all of that, because you cannot be the same person that started the business that has now grown the business to this point. Mm-hmm. You, you, you have to evolve. And so I think trying to slow down and figure out what does that look like? How do I keep myself in the midst of all this? And the team growing, the, the business growing, figuring out the systems. Yeah. Delegating responsibilities. So I mean, I, the one word that sticks out to me is just the overwhelm and trying to figure out how to deal with that.

I, I haven't sat in these chairs with anyone else who literally we all say the same exact thing.

Yeah.

It's because when you were a builder and you're, you're a builder, if it wasn't this, it'd be something else. And when it's not this, it is something else.

Right.

You're building a podcast or you're thinking of what else that looks like.

But yeah.

What would this version of you go back and tell, you know, Noelle at 1 to 2 years in? What would you say to help her work with some of that overwhelm now from where you are?

I'm actually, I'm, I'm really thankful for the way that it happened to me.

Mm-hmm.

And it's funny because part of me would like for myself from then to come talk to myself now. Mm-hmm. And be like, remember why you started all of this. Mm-hmm. Like remember your why. Remember when you quite literally had not two nickels to rub together and now you've built this incredible thing.

Mm-hmm.

So I, I'm really glad that I was so naive and so young and stupid and had no idea, or I may not have gotten to where I am. Mm-hmm. Right now. If I would've had, if I would've known then everything that I know now, I don't know if I would've been that brave. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I mean, that does make me really proud.

Yeah.

So I think I would just tell her, keep going one day at a time. That's, that's for the best. But you're going to get there and it's going to be okay. Mm-hmm.

What about if she could go literally, or, you know, a version of you in 5 years could come back to you right now and tell you how to deal with that? Do you feel like you know how to get through it, or are you just in the eye of the storm right now?

You know, have you ever been in a spot where you know exactly what you need to do and you're just kind of having to you're in the eye of the storm and you're like, I kind of know how to get out, but I've got to really like hone in and prioritize getting out of it. I think that's where I am right now is just trying to get the systems in place to get myself out of, you know, the overwhelm. But it's a beautiful thing. And in 5 years, I really think I'll look back and be like, oh my gosh, like, I feel like I'll feel the same as what I'm saying I did from all the years ago. I mean, I've been doing this for 16 years. Yeah, Diamond started 16 years ago.

Wow, that's insane and amazing. And I just, I literally love watching all of your content. It is so much fun. And watching you with all of the girls and the boys and just watching them light up, watching the confidence, watching you light up, watching them is so incredibly exciting to see it. It's just, it's one of the most fun things. So let's talk about how, you know, you, you found yourself in, in kind of what You know, I know you didn't expect to have this business, but it's kind of a daydream business. Like, wow, this is incredible. But also your business can start to be the, you know, the thing that you love can start to be the thing that really like weighs on you. How do you separate the two? How are you dealing with that?

You know, sometimes I, I, I will get lost in it.

Mm-hmm. Same.

I, I, yeah, I mean, I think all of us do. I think all of us will. And, and I mean, sometimes I think it can be for a day. Sometimes I think it can be for, months. And all of a sudden you wake up one day and you're like, what am I doing? How did I, how did I even get here? Like, I've, I've been so robotic lately that I don't even, I haven't even thought in so long about how cool what I do is. So something I try to tell myself is I don't have to do this. I get to, like, I get to do this for my job. I get to go to practice today. I get to be a part of all of their lives and watch them turn into these truly magnificent young men and women. So like, how can I complain about that? And it's just back to the why, why I started this in the first place and what I wanted Diamonds to be.

Do you have any like grounding rituals or rituals or things that you do or personal development things that you do to help you get grounded before you go out and help people?

I love to walk. Walking is something that has really done a lot for me. Some days I walk and I'm just in the silence of my own head. Some days I just talk to myself out loud. I will repeat things that I am grateful for. There have been times that I've gone and walked and I will be thinking about the coaches that I get to stand beside my staff and I will just turn my video on and record myself walking and just talk to them because I'm in such a place of gratitude for them and I'll send it to them and it makes me feel good to get that off my chest to them. Or I'll sit with myself. I think breathwork is something that really helps me. It's very hard for me.

Same.

Yeah, but it's amazing. I try, but it's amazing. Oh my God. It's—

I'm like, It's so hard for me to do.

Are you ever almost scared to like silence your mind for a minute? Because it just, that's, that's where I get. But then that's where some of my best creativity comes from. And just, I don't know, when I walk, the ideas that come, the creativity that comes, and I actually really love to read. And I'll read something and it'll just bring the best ideas to me. So that's my grounding spot is getting back to my place of creativity. I just, I love magic things, if that makes sense.

Are you like, is walking like a non-negotiable for you or how often do you do it?

I try to go every day.

Yep.

And I have two golden doodles that are the loves of my life. And so I'll look at them and I'm like, okay, I need to take them so they wanna go and do this. And then it's good for me. I really try to go every day, even if it's only 15 minutes that I can spare. Cuz there was a time that I did nothing for myself. Mm-hmm. Nothing. And I was miserable.

Mm-hmm.

And so now I'm like, no, Noelle, if you close the computer or put the phone down or whatever for 15 minutes today, you're gonna be a better person. For the people that are going to be with you this afternoon. So go and take the 15 minutes. And then sometimes I go and I'm— I've walked 3 miles before I know it.

Yeah, it's the best. I swear by it. Like, I want to write a book that just says how to change your life. And on every page it'll just say, take a walk for like 300 pages.

Yeah, literally take a walk.

It's life-changing.

Yeah.

Moving your body like that. And you get to also be in an industry where you help people tap into their own bodies and move and get out of their head. Because so much of, especially with girls, so much of our problems, oh my gosh, we can just get up there, make up stories. And what you do gets them out of that a lot. Like, so I really want to dig in because, you know, you had said, oh, you want to be a psychologist. I really truly feel like you get to help do that every day in a different way.

Yeah.

Almost in a way that they don't even have to say, oh, I need, I need to go see this therapist, or I need to go see this person. They get to just get it in their life. Like, how lucky are these people to have that within you, which I think is so cool, because a lot of people can do this, but maybe they don't really dig into that side of it much. And I know that that is what you're so passionate about, is helping girls, boys, men, women be confident and feel really good about, you know, who they are in their life and how to do that. So I want to start there of like What is it that you feel like Diamonds is like? What do you teach there? Like, they might think that they're coming for the freaking adorable costumes and how good they get at their craft. But what is it that you would say they're actually like getting?

Confidence.

Mm-hmm.

Confidence in themselves. A place to call home.

Mm-hmm.

You know, Diamonds was built on a dream. That I could give a home to people, somewhere to belong. And it doesn't matter what walk of life you come from. It doesn't matter what your home life is like. It doesn't matter how much money that your parents have, how much money they don't have, what your family is. None of it matters. It's a place that you walk in and you get to be who you are. And that's, that was my dream. And that's what I get to live every day. But in addition to that, it teaches confidence. It teaches them teamwork. It, it's, they could be someone that they look in the mirror and they're like, I'm unsure of who I am today. You know, I'm unsure that I love how I look or that any of the things. But then they walk in, they put their practice wear on, they step onto the floor. The team needs them. I need them. They have to do this job and it becomes a safe place for them, you know? And so that's— that was my dream, is that we could all come together no matter what happened to you. Your, your boyfriend broke up with you, you got in a fight with your mom, you had the worst day, but you walk into practice and there's your best friends and there's your family and you belong here and we couldn't do it without you. Mm-hmm.

Oh, I love that. How do you think they're learning that? Like, what is that? You know, when you're in the room, how are you watching that interaction kind of go down?

You know, you can see it in a kid who You know that when they go to school, they're probably so quiet. Maybe they don't have a lot of friends. Maybe they sit off by themselves at lunch. Maybe they're scared to raise their hand because they're unsure if they know the right answer or if they're going to mess up. But then they walk into their team. They know exactly what they're doing. They know exactly what needs to happen. Or maybe they're a soft leader and they can look at their teammate and build them up that day. Maybe they need building up in another aspect of their life. But when they walk into practice, they know what their teammates need. They know that someone else is struggling. They need them to yell for them that day or be supportive. Or maybe they all of a sudden walk into Diamonds All-Stars and they're the loudest person on the team. But at school, nobody knows that side of them. But when they walk into my gym, they get to be who they dream of being.

Tell me about that. You had said soft leader. Is there different types of leaderships— leadership that you refer to? Are you helping cultivate that or calling it out? Are you teaching them about that?

I would say absolutely. I mean, obviously I could— everybody can always do, do more. But I think the sport itself helps them and teaches them in that. But I think, you know, especially as women, we go through— we meet those types of people and different types of people every day. So whenever you're standing on one of my teams, there are the personalities that are so— they're so loud and they're so supportive and they're screaming all the time and let's go and let's do it. But then there are the ones that when they speak, you listen. It is very rare that they might speak, but when they speak, you listen. Or maybe they don't speak often at all, but you know what kind of person they are. You know they're going to do their job. They're a hard worker. There's just so many different personalities to make up these teams. And but it's also really cool to watch their friendships. The ones that maybe don't ever say a word will end up becoming the best of friends with the ones who are just so, um, loud and almost overbearing and mm-hmm. But in a different walk of life, they maybe never would've crossed paths.

Totally.

Right. They never would've crossed paths.

Oh my God. That's why I love sports and I love different activities is because it opens you up to this world of people, especially for kids. Oh my gosh. It opens you up to this world of people you would never normally be friends with. Mm-hmm. Because what do we do? We wanna be friends with the people who look like us, who talk like us, who don't necessarily feel intimidating. They feel familiar, except we're just going to get more of the same, which is fun, right? Sometimes that's so fun. But we're not going to get the lessons we need. We're not going to learn the skills that we need. We're not going to get a completely different perspective.

Right.

That's why I love team sports. I love what you do for that reason is I, I believe so much that it's training people to realize how important everybody is in your life. So you've gotten to really like— you've gotten to spend 16 years watching, you know, how kids work in these environments. A lot of parents don't necessarily get to see that. They don't even get to see that side of their child. What is some advice that you would give as somebody who gets to spend that time with them to a parent to maybe help cultivate even more confidence at home?

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I think the first thing I would tell them is to— whether it's cheerleading or whatever it is— to let them, or sometimes even maybe push a little bit, get them in something that is going to allow them to find a different side of their personality. Let them explore something that is going to let them find a side of themselves that maybe they didn't even know totally existed. And also, I think a really beautiful side to cheerleading is, like I keep saying, everybody depends on you. So if you don't go one day, you have then had to learn the lesson of I am really hurting all of these people that now I love. They're my friends, they're my teammates. I've built a relationship with them and they're holding me accountable. And so, you know, I mean, nobody wants to let someone else down. So the accountability of it is, is amazing. But as far as, you know, giving advice to parents, there's a lot of advice I would give to parents. But also let them find their own way sometimes. Make sure that you're letting them live their dreams and that you're not pushing them into a dream that might be theirs. Like maybe there is something they would love to get into, or maybe there is a different side of them they want to find. So make sure that you're allowing them to explore that side of themselves.

Mm-hmm.

The side that they might really want to, not something that you are wanting of them, if that makes sense. Mm-hmm. Because I see that a lot.

Have you had to watch some of them, like, do you have to let them struggle? Because what you do is hard. It's challenging. It's a lot. It's a sport that definitely, I can see how it would grow insane confidence because the, the confidence you have to have in yourself first, like building that up.

Right.

How do you help somebody through that? Like, do you have to just let them struggle sometimes, or do you coach them through it?

I think that the struggle is part of what makes athletes or people great.

Okay.

I mean, I think, and, and, you know, back to the question about the advice I would give to parents.

Mm-hmm.

I think sometimes you need to allow disappointment. Mm. And not go in and try to save the day. I think that don't always go in and try to fix it. Allow disappointment, allow a letdown. Mm-hmm. Allow working through hard things. And I think that's what builds the character. And so, yes, I absolutely do try to coach them through it. And, you know, there are times whenever a mistake is made and it's unacceptable or whatever, but then there's also a time that it's like, well, but if we hadn't made that mistake, how would we know? You would never know what amazing feels like if you hadn't made the mistake and been let down. You would never know the beautiful feeling of reward and excitement if you hadn't have been upset or heartbroken or disappointed in an outcome. So sometimes you do just have to kind of feel it and face it.

Oh my God, it's a huge part of it.

Yeah.

Like, because if everything works out, these kids are going to be so terribly disappointed when no one comes to fix it, right? When they're adults, you know, it's setting people up for disappointment because failure is, is probably more prevalent than winning. So how you deal with failure is one of the most important things, in my opinion, in life. Life is how are you going to come back from that, right? Is just huge. I know you see so many different dynamics in parenting. Like, I— one of the, one of the most challenging things, in my opinion, that you have to deal with is not necessarily even all of the, the things that you work through and, and the competitions and how you get these kids to be great, but the dynamics of parents, of letting their— because you need to coach in a certain type of way to get the result that, you know, you need to get, right? But there's a lot of information that you are getting from parents, what has been some really tough dynamics for you within that? Because I have not only heard them, I've gotten to watch them on TV with these different things that go on, and I, I know it can get crazy. How on earth— what are some of the dynamics and how do you personally cope with it? Because I feel like I would crumble.

It's real. It's all real. And, you know, people will ask me, is the hardest part the— I don't like to call them kids— the athletes. And I'm like, no, absolutely not. It's the parents. So, but some— I mean, the drama, I think, is really hard. The gossiping. It's so much just what we deal with as women, you know, like the mean girl, the having a hard time seeing someone else be successful. You know, sometimes jealousy is an evil, evil monster that comes into play a lot with moms. That I see. So jealousy, maybe looking at their child, wanting their child to be something that maybe they're not ready to be, that they don't realize the detriment that that is causing. When they— if they would just let their child be what they are in the moment and grow from there, their child would end up taking over the world. But just the push and the, you know, it's not really teaching your child something amazing when you're like, but what you are right now isn't good enough. You needed to be this or you needed to be that. You needed to grow quicker. That's just not a great message. And I think some moms make the mistake of sending that message.

How do you stay quiet? How do you, how do you, do you just, uh, is that like, oh, I'll have a moment and I'll be able to coach in a certain way? Or you can see how you could help coach that person on the other side. This would be so challenging. This would be the hardest thing for me to stay quiet and be like, And I know you have to for the most part, but what do you do in those situations where you're just like, oh my gosh, this is— I'm in the middle of it. They've put me right in the middle of it.

I tell them. I usually, I usually don't stay quiet. Honestly, I tell them.

Yeah.

When I see these, these things happen, we have very strict rules at Diamonds about negativity and gossiping and all the things that— I mean, it's going to be everywhere.

Yeah.

And I mean, there, there are a lot of boys too, but there's also a lot of girls. And with teenage girls, it's inevitable. There's going to be drama and there's going to be gossiping, but we shouldn't be having to worry about that with the adults.

Right.

And so, yeah, it definitely happens. But also there are some beautiful, beautiful women that I get to surround myself with every single day. And there are angels out there that I know are out there like, hey, we're going to bring the light in here.

Yeah.

And The only thing that can drive out the darkness is light.

So true.

And there I— so, I mean, there are so many lights that I have that stand beside me in it.

So how do you start a tough conversation like that? Because I do think this is the thing that, again, someone might be listening and want a business like this and they're like, oh damn, that's, that's going to be way too much. But you do it. How do you start that? What's a really empowering way for you to be like, okay, I have to have this conversation?

Yeah. Ha.

What's your first couple sentences? What would you, what tool would you give to someone who's maybe in this right now with something with their kids or at their business?

So something that I really stick to myself, cuz I think it does start with you getting the courage to have the conversation.

Yeah.

Is I tell myself I'm either gonna have this hard conversation or I'm always gonna have hard feelings.

Oof. Yeah.

And so, and, and sometimes I even start with that. I'm like, I'm calling you with a to have a really difficult conversation right now because I don't want us to have difficult feelings.

Yeah.

Forever. And so I just kind of lay it out there and a lot of people actually really respect that. And sometimes, you know, people will be like, yeah, I did that or I did say that or yeah, thank you for presenting this perspective to me because I didn't even realize. Sometimes this goes way deeper than what we're talking about right now. But sometimes the women that are maybe doing these things, there's a reason why they're doing these things. And it goes back to maybe they didn't have the childhood that they want their child to have. And so they're trying to make it so perfect that they don't even realize what they're doing or the gossiping or the drama. At the end of the day, they're just wanting something great for their family or their kid. Or so sometimes you can really flip their perspective and it actually ends up being amazing and things just things aren't always as they seem.

Mm-hmm.

And so sometimes the tough conversations actually lead into, lead into something really beautiful.

Mm-hmm.

I know that doesn't seem like it could happen, but it does.

It does. Actually, it does. That's definitely my experience is when you approach it the way that you did, I, I really believe it's about your, exactly like what you said, your approach and your intention.

Right.

And I know that you're going in intending like, we want this to work.

Right.

It's not like I'm gonna show this this mom, why she's like this, and we're gonna, you know, right. Get her outta here. It's really like, no, we want this all to work.

Right.

Like we are a team, we are a family. We want this all to work. So what would that conversation have to start with to let that person's guard down?

Right. And, and you know, that's something else I say to myself before I do these things is my intentions are pure. Mm-hmm. And if my intentions are pure, then that's all that I can ask of myself. And there are times that, that isn't received well. But another lesson to myself is that in some people's story, no matter what I do, I'm going to be a villain.

Yeah.

And in other people's story, I'm going to be a hero. I don't get to choose their definition of me. Like none of us as women get to choose how the world's going to define us. So if you know what you are going into these conversations, the intention that you have, that's really all, all you can do. And my intentions are I want my teams to be the most amazing they can be. I want Diamonds to be the most amazing place it can be. I want positivity and light and it just to be a magical place, truly. And is it always rainbows and butterflies and unicorns? No, not always. But we can all try to strive for that.

Tell me some of the core values that you guys have there.

Our core values would be, and not to be so repetitive, but but hard work and making a home for everyone, including everyone. I want Diamonds to be a place that when you walk in, someone's welcoming you over, someone's waving for you, someone is saying, hi, how, how, what can I do for you? How can I help you? What are you looking for? You're welcome here. Come, come in. I want it. And again, it's so much bigger than cheerleading. I want a woman who walks in brave enough for the first time with her kid to walk in the door and look around and say, I belong here. I feel safe here. I feel good here. Just the same as I want her athlete to walk in the doors and go, this is where I want to be. I'm welcome here. I'm going to figure it out here. I might cry. This might be really hard. I might be scared at times, but I'm also going to find the people who love me and I'm going to love them. So I think just hard work, dedication, love.

How are you conveying that message? Is that through, you know, do you have all of your employees, are they having this really welcoming attitude? Do you do talks with your athletes before they, you know, compete, before they practice? What does that look like?

Yeah, so we have, we have lots of talks.

Okay.

We have lots of—

yes, yes, lots of talks. And we have lots of motivational talks and some are motivational in a, in a tough way. And then some are motivational in a like, let's freaking go way. And my, my staff is, my coaches are amazing, beautiful humans that have all other— we do have one new coach who just joined us, but everybody else has been at Diamonds really for years and years and years. So all of us were homegrown. And that's amazing too, because we've all been built on these core values and we kind of started from nothing and have all grown together into what we are now. And so I think that we all just kind of have that mindset. That we, this is our home and we're trying to build it into something. We're trying to worry about being better, not bigger.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Which makes you bigger cuz you're working on getting better.

Yeah, exactly. And that's what I tell myself all the time. I'm like, how can I be better? Bigger's gonna take care of itself.

What is, what's coming up for you around that right now with what you're working on? Where when you say, how can I be better? What are you, what's coming up for you personally?

Well, I think I can always be better in everything. You know, diamonds can always be better. I can always be better. I can be a better coach. I can be a better business owner. I can be a better friend, a better wife, a better daughter, a better everything. And so I'm trying to figure out how to maybe give myself some grace. Mm-hmm. And wearing all the hats, juggling all the things. And again, I have the best of intentions. So instead of getting so overwhelmed in all the hats that I wear, how can I like take a step back? Prioritize each thing and be the best version of myself, but also give myself grace in that I'm trying to be better every day.

Are you figuring that out right now? How to step back and give yourself some grace? What, how is that looking in your day-to-day life?

I'm trying to. Yeah. I'm trying to make more and more systems. Mm-hmm. I'm trying to do more and more delegation.

Mm-hmm.

Which I'm really finding that as I do that, it really showcases the people who are around me that I love so much. Watch their abilities.

Oh yeah.

How amazing that they are getting to watch them step into new roles and bigger roles that they can see what they're capable of. That is a really cool thing for me, watching them, cuz I've always seen it in them. Mm-hmm. But watching them see it in themselves, like, oh my God, look what I'm capable of. Look what I can do. I think that that's a really driving force for me. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Crazy how when we actually delegate and do something good for ourselves, it actually is something even better.

Yeah.

For our people, right? To grow. Give them an opportunity to grow. What's something that you feel like you see in women and in your athletes that you wish that they could see from the outside perspective?

How beautiful they are inside and out. I think that as women, a lot again, we're, we're supposed to be this and supposed to be that and there's all these things that we're supposed to be, but everything that they are is enough. And watching their growth and watching the way that they talk to each other and the way that just by hugging someone else that they don't realize how they're lighting someone else up or making their day. Or when the older ones will be up there performing and there's a little bitty girl sitting in front of them watching them. And I'm going, she wants to be her. And, and the older one probably has no idea all the little lives that she's affecting that want to be just like her. And it's, it's just the coolest feeling to get to watch that.

What's something that you think people from the outside can't tell about you? And I just want to add, add my thoughts on this because when I first met you, you know, I'm— I love clothes and I love when a woman like embraces her, just everything she loves herself, her identity, everything. And so when you walked in, I'm like, oh, I like her. She's got, you know, this big blond hair.

Love it.

Big bright lipstick, big blue eyes. She's got her like spray tan, her makeup, her clothes, her jewelry. And what I love about you is that you just own it. Like, you are so good about like, yeah, I love this. I'm wearing these big pink shoes right now and I'm obsessed with them. Same. You and I share a shoe love, like large, tall shoes. Oh yeah. But I know what it takes to get dressed like that and walk out and rock it and feel confident.

Right.

So I want to know for you, at what point did you decide to embrace all that you are? Because for some people they think it's a lot. I think it's perfect and it's not enough.

But yeah, same.

How do you walk out of your house every day and just literally embody that every day, embrace it?

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I haven't always been that way. I think that I was that way when I was little and then went through a very long phase when I wasn't. Like, just a quick story, I can remember being in college. I've always loved red lipstick. I love a red lip. And I was in college and I can remember reading in a magazine, probably like in Cosmo or something, that men aren't attracted to red lipstick. Don't wear red lipstick. So I stopped wearing it because I was like, oh my gosh, I don't want boys to not like me. I don't want to be too much. I don't want to be unapproachable or whatever. So I quit wearing red lipstick. And there's just so many things in life like that that you're like, well, what if this is too much? What if someone doesn't want me because I add another gold necklace? You know? And it's like, it took me a while to figure out that that being— you're the only one of you. You know, every single one of us is irreplaceable. We are ourselves and there's not one other person in the world that can ever be what we are. And just because you wear red lipstick, the people who are meant to be in your life and love you and support you and all the things are going to. And the only people you're going to drive away by wearing red lipstick are going to be the ones that aren't for you. Mm-hmm. And so now I, that is just something that I want to preach from the rooftops. Mm-hmm. Wear the dress, wear the bikini, wear the red lipstick, do the thing, you know, because it's your life and you're only gonna get the people around you that are meant to be there. Mm. It's so funny.

I think sometimes when people look at, you know, there's, there's two different perspectives. Sometimes I've had people, um, say things to me like, oh, is it hard for you to like not be dressed up? And I'm like, oh no, it was harder for me to dress up. Up than it was to not be. Because I actually had a coach back in the day say to me, you know, the reason people like you is because you're approachable. Like, stay, stay the girl next door. In fact, like, play that up. Like, be even more approachable. And I— so then guess what I did my whole life? It was like, if I ever thought I was making women feel threatened at all, it's like, nope, put the sweater on. Nope, you know, take off that thing that makes you feel extra. Don't wear that dress. Don't look that way. Don't be sexy. Especially don't be sexy. She literally said don't be sexy. So I, you know, in, in my being like to my core, I was like, no, I love dressing sexy, I love being a lot. And it took me years, I'm talking into like my mid to late 30s, to like really embrace the fact that I love clothes, I love being extra, I love— this is how I was when I was a little girl, it was extra. I'd be like, you sit down, you watch me, film me, and I'm gonna go be cray, like I'm gonna go be this big personality, right? And so what I think is so amazing about you embracing that side of you is it's so much permission permission. It is just so much permission. And like, you, the second people get to talk to you, it's like, she's amazing. Like, she's one of, she's just such a girl's girl. And I think people never think of that when they see somebody who really like has taken time on how they look or loves fashion or whatever that is. It's very much assumed like, oh, they must have to be that way. Instead of, no, we worked so hard to like let this be okay for us. Right. To show up in a room like that.

That's something else that I, if there's anything mm-hmm. That the athletes, the girls, the guys that I get to be around every day, I want them to skip the stage that you and I had to go through. I want them to wear the outfit, wear the lipstick, wear the shoes, wear the dress, do all the things. And I hope that by me being this way, that it will help even one to skip the stage that you and I both had to go through to figure out, like, I can be who I really am. I can wear this. And I mean, you are so amazingly beautiful. And by you being that, look how many women will turn around and do that same thing. And I think that is just the greatest honor in the world that we could ever make someone go, oh, I can do that too.

Yeah. Like self-expression, right? I'm allowed to have it. Oh, I do like that. I would love to try that because I do think as a woman, if you're into that, it's like such a gift that we get to do that. If you want to, if you're drawn to it. If not, trust me, I get it. I went through my sweatshirt, no makeup, top bun phase for a very long time. I'm still in that.

I am. I am most days.

But like, I used to like podcasts like that. Yeah. Like, literally, I was like, okay, how about you get ready, Lori? Like, how about you actually do what you want to do? You know? So what advice would you give to somebody who's like really maybe having trouble embracing that but actually wants to show up more like in her appearance?

So I have this thing that I love love. And actually did a podcast episode on this, so it's called The Bitch in the Back. And I think sometimes you have to silence her. Like, I— oh my gosh, I can't wear this today. Tell her, tell her to shut up. Yeah, like, yeah, I actually can wear this, or I can do this, or I can wear this dress, or I can be this person and I'm going to be. And try it, just do it. Stop listening to the voice that's telling you that you shouldn't or that you and just figure out how it feels when you do. And it probably is going to feel uncomfortable and feel weird. And but then try something else. You can be whoever you want every single day. You know, you can be— I love whenever you can do both. I can go work or walk in the church parking lot in the most mismatched, insane outfit that you have ever seen. And then I can be this person too. Like, you can be all everything that you ever want to be. And just don't let anyone tell you you can't.

I love that. What's, what's super exciting for you right now? What's something that you're working on or that you're really loving?

Well, I always love diamonds and, you know, obviously the gem. I love my podcast. I've been on a break from recording, but I'm going to be picking back up my episodes soon. And just women in general, confidence. My Instagram, I really try to make my Instagram a place where women can go and like you said, have permission permission to do the thing, wear the thing, have the hard conversation, whatever it is.

So just building that and hopefully other people. Yeah, you've been doing awesome with your Instagram. Thank you. And I— we have gotten to see the journey of it. Thank you. And so to, to another woman struggling right now to show up, because you really were having a hard time and now you're rocking it. And I know it's still not easy, cuz it's not easy for anyone, right? What would you say to her? Like, if you could go, you know, somebody who is in the exact same shoes that you were— what was that, 2 years ago? Yeah. Like, oh my God, you guys have to hold me accountable to this. Like, what the hell do I even do? How do I do this? Yeah. What would you say to her to get her started and keep her going?

You know, I would say I still don't know what I'm doing. Yeah. And I think most people don't. Mm-hmm. And I think that I, I wish more people were, were willing to say, I have no clue what I'm doing. Mm-hmm. And I'm, I may be doing it wrong. Wrong, but that's okay. At least I'm doing it. And so maybe for every person looking at you thinking, oh, she's got it all together. There's somebody, or for every person that you are looking at thinking, oh, she's got it all together. There's someone looking at you thinking the exact same thing. So while you are so worried about the person that you are looking at going, I wanna do this, or I wanna be like that, there's somebody who is just looking for you. And what you're doing is enough for them. And you are teaching that person and they are going to start because you did. Did. For sure. So as you're moving through your steps, they are going to move through theirs. So don't get so caught up. You can't compare your step 2 to someone else's step 32. And I think as women, we do that so often. We look at social media, we look at these things and think, oh my God, she's so much better than me, or she has it so much more figured out than I have, or my content doesn't look like that, or I don't look like her. But you don't know what she's been through. You don't know the lessons that she's had to learn. You don't know she may have been again on step 32 and you're on step 4. You can't compare those two journeys.

What's your favorite thing that you talk about on your podcast? What do you— what— give us a little insider on what you like to talk on there.

I love to talk about heartbreak. I love to talk about getting, getting a girl through something emotional like that because I think heartbreak is one of the hardest things that a woman can do in this lifetime. I love to talk about about confidence, timelines. I think women really struggle with timelines because society—

tell me a little more about that.

We're told by this age you should be married, by this age you should have kids. If you don't do that, then you're not doing it correct. By this age you should have this kind of job. You have to go and you have to go to this kind of college. You have to have this kind of job. You have to have this much money. Just the comparison game and what we're supposed to do. And there's not often enough room for, but what do I and when you do what you want, that's when you're going to be the most magical. So, and I love to talk about you can't be that until you're this. So like, for example, like a wedding, you can't be a bride until you're a fiancée. Can't be a fiancée until you're a girlfriend. Can't be a girlfriend until you can love yourself enough to have enough confidence to go out and find love yourself. Like, I just feel like there's all these steps. And so I love, I love talking about timelines. Don't be on anyone else's. Mm-hmm. Your life is going to turn out exactly as it's supposed to. Stop comparing your life to hers because your life's amazing. Romanticizing things. I think that's magical. You know, get up every single day and think, I have the best life in the world. This coffee is the best coffee I've ever had. These shoes I'm wearing are the cutest shoes in the world, so I'm going to wear them. I think that that just makes everything more magical for you. And then before you know it, it. Like I said, somebody else is looking at your life going, oh my gosh, I want to be like her. I want to love my coffee. When really a lot of things is just a perspective, just a choice. You choose it.

Yeah. Yeah. You choose it every morning. Yeah. It's such a— that is such a good reminder. I had a moment where I was like, oh, I'm going to just like really taste my cream or really think about it, really be present. And it works. It does work. That is such a good reminder. Yeah. I'm going to— I'm going to continue doing that. I bet.

I think we could just get stuck in, oh my gosh, they have more than me. Oh, her business is better than mine. She's prettier than me. Or, oh, I'm trying to lose this many pounds. Or— and, and it's like, you, you've got to do— okay, another one, something I really love is the hell yes still stands. So like, if somebody is trying to get into— lose weight, let's say somebody's trying to lose 20 pounds. Yep. And then they get— they had this pair of jeans that they couldn't get into and they get on the scale and they've lost 5 pounds and then they go and they put on the jeans, the jeans button, right? But, but they're, they're like, hell yes, my jeans button. But I've only lost 5. I haven't lost 20. It's like, no, the hell yes still stands. Like, your freaking jeans button. What do you mean? Like, go celebrate that. Go jump up and down and be like, hell yes, I've got my jeans on today. Like, you know, you know what I mean? I just think we get so caught up We move the finish line so fast. Yes. And there's never a celebration for the littlest things. And if we would just celebrate ourselves and the hell yeses, that's what life is about. It's about the magic moments that we're so quick to erase because as soon as we open Instagram, someone else has got a, a more magical moment. Mm-hmm. But who gets to decide that? Mm-hmm.

And is that really a magical moment?

Exactly. We don't know. Exactly. We don't know. Cuz that same person could have been crying on her kitchen floor moments before that scheduled Instagram post went up. One up. And I just, I wish more people were talked about those things. And that's what I, that's what I strive to be is someone that's like, things can be magical and beautiful, but you can also be crying yourself to sleep at night. And as long as you work on that and get that figured out, just realize everybody's going through those moments. It's not just you.

You're not alone. Tell me just a little bit about why you feel so passionate about helping women through heartbreak.

Because I I think we get so caught up in losing ourselves whenever we're in a relationship. We lose ourselves to it sometimes. And I can remember all the times in my life that my heart has been broken and I'm like, why wasn't I enough? Why? Why? How could this person cheat on me? Or how could this person leave me? How could this happen to me? And it all comes down to we haven't loved. We haven't we haven't trained ourselves enough in the self-worth, the self-confidence, the standing alone in ourselves to be like, if you don't want me, that's okay. I was art when you came to stand and observe me, and I'm going to be art when you walk away from me. And if you're not the one that's meant for me, that's okay. I can still be myself and get better from this lesson. And I just— picking women up through that is, I don't know, it's just something that I just have this really soft spot lot in my heart for.

If someone's going through it right now, or when you see one of your athletes walk in and you know this is something going on, what are some things that you help them with? Or what are some things that maybe you help shift their perspective?

Yeah, so this actually happens a lot. I can see them walk in and I can usually pinpoint it, and I'm, I'm like, hey, come over here. And at this point, they'll, they'll text, or, you know, they'll tell me, my boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with me or I got cheated on or whatever. And I'm the person that's— I'm rapid firing quotes or I'm like, you, you get up and you say this to yourself every single day, or you, you read this every single day, or you remember that just they just weren't— this person wasn't meant for you. And by them exiting your life, it's making room for something way better to come. Like they weren't able to appreciate you for all that you were and you were actually Just you're more than what you're more than enough. Just, I don't know, all the things. I'm again, rapid firing quotes like you get up every day and read this and you know, like you may cry yourself to sleep and that's okay, but maybe tomorrow you'll only cry before and then you'll fall asleep and then maybe you'll cry 7 times the next day and then maybe the next day you'll cry 6. And that's, that's okay. You're making it through little by little and realizing that your life is your own. And you're amazing with or without that person. Probably more amazing without them. Mm-hmm. If they've done this to you.

You're really making me think about the shift from when you first started, of the things you've probably had to see people through and coach them through. Is there something that's been really like a cultural shift that you have seen from how you're talking to, I think especially the female athletes? Of like from, you know, 15 years ago to now with phones to just like how the age has gotten even younger for heartbreak, for dating, for comparison. What would you say is one of the biggest shifts that you've seen and how you have to support people now?

Phones is crazy.

Mm. TikTok is crazy. Snapchat is crazy. The things that I see some of these guys asking girls to do to make them uncomfortable, making them have to make a decision between do I do this and then I'm wanted or I'm liked, or do I say no and then run the risk of being not cool or being told I'm not cool, or, you know, sending pictures or— it is, it is crazy the things that these young women get put through that maybe it's not I don't know. I guess that's maybe a touchy subject, but I don't think it's widely enough spoken about. And so I hope that I can help any of the girls that I have the— that I'm lucky enough to get to coach and be in their life to help them know that their self-worth goes way beyond ever choosing to send a picture. And anybody who's asking you that is so far beneath you. And don't let you— don't hang your head because you're not going to put yourself in a situation that makes you uncomfortable. You know, and I mean, also another one is drinking, vaping, all of those things that kids are so pressured into having to make a choice what group they're going to fall into. But it's no different than what, what, what anybody else was put through.

It's just at a little bit faster pace now, I'm sure.

And way more easily accessible, I think, these days.

Which is why I actually think team sports and being with a company or with a coach or with people that you know. Um, you know, my friend and I were actually just talking about this on a walk, that it's like, okay, you want to have other people in your kids' lives because they're not going to go to you for everything. They're actually going to go to you. Yes. Or maybe sometimes more. Yes. So, oh my gosh, yes. The importance of sports or having those people in their lives in some way because all of this stuff is happening. It's coming up.

And even if they're not telling you that it is, it is right. And you know, I, I love that you say that because I don't— I do see sometimes some women, some moms, they'll get offended. Well, why, why would, why would he or she not come and tell me that? And it's, it's like, it's, it's nothing against you as their parent. It's that sometimes they just need— they don't want to disappoint you. Yes, exactly. Or they don't want to be judged. And they're afraid that if they— if you even see that they're trying to make this decision, that you might feel a disappointment in them. Them when really it's just part of growing up. And really, it's kind of beautiful that they're even sitting trying to make the decision. Yeah, because they're trying to figure out who they are, what choice do they want to make. And having a safe space to go and have that conversation with is beautiful. So if I can be that safe space for anyone, some— and I don't think I ever had that. And I mean, my mom has— I've had— I have the most wonderful mother on the planet. But there were things sometimes that that I wanted to go and talk for sure to your parents about. Absolutely. So having a, a big sister, mm-hmm, having an older best friend, you know, that to me there's nothing that's more beautiful than that. Mm-hmm.

Well, I have loved this whole conversation. I just feel like you get to play such, um, such an important role in people's life, lives. And I hope that you get to hear that from a lot of people. I know you, I know people definitely tell you, but thank you. I get to see it from an outside perspective. I get to watch you at the event. These cheer competitions online and I'm like, my God, this, this woman is like playing such a massive role in all of these people's lives. And I know that it is pressure.

I know it's a lot.

I know what you have to deal with. So I just want to give you so much props for holding all of that and for doing the self-work that you do and, you know, for taking that space and time to nurture yourself so that you can go nurture that entire community of people. And you guys definitely go check her out. We're sending everybody to your Instagram and your podcast. Can you tell us about those two things? Things?

Yeah, my podcast is called This Is For Us, all about women and all the things we've talked about today. And then my Instagram is @noellerobertscole. Go check it out, you guys.

And she has such a fun Instagram too, especially if you're into, um, cheerleading, cheer comps, leadership, all the things. So go check her out. And I am so grateful for you. Thank you for coming on. Thank you. Thank you so much. It was so fun. It was so fun. Until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone.