Danielle LaPorte On How To Become Unbothered And Create Space For Peace

You keep your eye on the problem. You don't get obsessed with it. You know where the cracks are. You don't over privilege what's not working. And you certainly for love, if anybody gets anything out of this conversation, stop rehashing the past thinking that it's a solution for a better future.

Hey everyone.

Welcome back to the show. I am so excited for today's podcast. It is somebody who I have been looking up to for a very long time, reading all of her books and getting so much insight. So before I tell you who our guest is, you guys, I want you to join the daily text list. I promise you it's only going to add value to your life. You guys, I'm going to text you things like my favorite quotes, quotes that are getting me going, things that I'm talking about with my friends, daily mantras. I promise you I'm going to only spam you with the best things that are going to make you feel motivated. So all you have to do is text the word daily to 310-496-8363. That's the word daily to 310-496-8 363. And you'll be getting texts as soon as tomorrow, you guys. So my guest today is Danielle Laporte and some of my favorite books are written by her. The Firestarter sessions, the desire map and white hot Truth was so incredibly amazing, you guys, if you have not read it. And she has a new book out. It's called how to be loving when your heart is breaking open and the world is waking up. She's been named Oprah's Super Soul 100. She is in that group. And Oprah says herself she's uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters. She also has a podcast called with love by Danielle. It often ranks in iTunes top 10 for wellness. And most of her offerings, from the heart centered membership to her online classes are on a pay what you choose basis. How cool is that? She was named one of the top 100 websites for women by Forbes and millions of people visit her website every month@Danielleport.com you guys, this woman, I don't know how else to say it, but every word that she writes is completely drenched with inspiration and soul. And this podcast is no different. And truly, she gets so vulnerable in this podcast and I cannot wait for you to listen to it. So let's get started. Danielle, I am so excited to have you back on the show. I feel like I've gotten to be a very small part of Your journey throughout the years of just all your creativity and writing and your thought process and you're just one of the people I can indulge in your books and they make me so happy. So I just want to thank you first of all for pouring your heart and soul out into your books so that people like me can enjoy them.

Right on. We've been at this for a little bit.

We have.

How you feeling?

Yeah, I feel peaceful. I feel peaceful. There's a little hesitation there, but I feel like it's harvest time. But part of that is not from being around the block so many times. But just like simplicity is my jam, simplicity has become my spiritual practice and so a lot of peace. Yeah.

Explain that to me. Like some of the first things that you realized when you maybe tell me a little bit about the moments where you weren't at peace, which made you go into a place of what does peace look like for me and what does peace look like for you?

Yeah, well, anxiety. There's a period of panic attacks, adrenal fatigue. I had the cortisol levels of like a gorilla and that was not working. And just that feeling of like, oh, it's that micro regret at the end of like too many days in a row of I stayed up too late again. I checked my email, I sat down, you know, like last. Even last night, it's still a struggle. Like I did my yoga, I did it candlelight, everything, wrapped it up in my living room like around 9 o' clock and then I went and checked my email and then it was 11:30. And that is not. I'm just like, this is not good for my nervous system. It's not good for my inner child. So peace is more decisions, just about really basic fundamental nourish my nervous system which like the full spiritual loop has been, wow, you know what? The most spiritual thing to do is take care of my nervous system. And if I do that, I am well, my chemicals are balanced, I'm more at peace. And I'm peaceful enough that I can do all the other stuff to get even more peaceful, you know, I'm peaceful enough that I'll do the morning sit down meditation, I'll get into nature, I'll get on the mat after the day and less. I think about this a lot in terms of it's easy to say, you know, someone listening might say, oh, it's easy for you to say, you don't want to work so hard because I have been doing this for a little while. But you know what? That's all relative. I could still keep going. I could still be in baller mode all the time, wanting more. There's always more striving. There's always someone in any space, in any industry who's getting more of something that you want, whether it's clicks of recognition or dollars or travel or love or whatever. And I just decided, you know what? I want to be sane. Like, beautiful sane. Common sense, loving kindness sane. And wait a long time to be deeply in love. Got that. Why would I not prioritize that? And then I've spent the last couple years really living with this question of, like, maybe all of the. This idea that to be more enlightened, more evolved, more spiritual, like, I have to go out and try and save the world. Maybe that's actually an ego game.

Ooh, this is so good. You were literally touching on so many of the questions that I had. So I'm going to kind of delve into, because you just. You gave such so many huge topics right there. Self development, personal development, constant striving, constant being better. That one really hit me when you just said that, because I found myself probably last year in this place of realizing, like, personal development was actually stressing me out. And if I missed, like, listening to a podcast during the day or if I wasn't reading my books at night, I started to feel really bad. And I thought, oh, my God, like, this is actually starting to harm me. And it's not that I didn't love it, because there are times I love it. Like, I love the ideas it gives me and the creativity, but I also love dancing, horseback riding, nature walks, doing nothing. Listening to rap music.

Being with your guy. Yeah. Instead.

So I went on this kind of journey of the realization. It's funny, I walked outside one day and I was, like, looking up and I was asking God for something, and I just got this, like, you don't know if it's your voice, whoever's voice, whatever. Maybe I made it up. But it was for me. And it was like, why are you looking up? I'm everywhere. I'm not in your books. I'm not up here. I'm literally in everything. And it just was this moment of, like, it's in the shallow stuff, it's in the heavy, it's in the big stuff, it's in this person I don't like. It's in all of the things. And I wish I could capture that feeling of what happened that day, but, you know, it's fleeting because I'm human. But it was profoundly impactful on me. And that was the moment for me that I was like, oh my God, how do we make just life more enjoyable and peaceful like you said. So for you, I kind of want to know what your daily peaceful just practice looks like. Is there something that now you, you feel like you want to do daily or have to do or do you just kind of wake up and figure that out as you go? What does that look like?

Well, the great question, like the double question in there is like that I want to do because I push myself to do a lot of the spiritual stuff out of this like obligation sense. And I actually there was a period of time where I just declared like I am indefinitely not going to meditate because I'm so miserable getting my ass on the cushion. So this is not right, this is not the right vibe. And I thought maybe I'm not a meditator and this was like a long time ago. But after taking that pause and realized like my life didn't fall apart, I started to want to do it from this really healthy, like genuine, enthusiastic place. And that's pretty much how it's continued. There's some days it feels like duty. I gotta get in there and I gotta do some like mental hygiene and keep things clean. But mostly I'm like, I really long for that juice, that light. More and more I'm longing for silence. I never used to be a silent person or silence. It's like all music, all the time, ton of media, ton of information. Still love all that stuff. But my back to nervous system, something about the silence and it's like a muscle. It's like the more time in silence, doesn't have to be all day, but like some pure silence in your life, the more comfortable it becomes. You know at the beginning it's your mind's racing, all the agitation. But oh, I love me some good quiet. So I sit pretty much every morning or I do a walking meditation. I consider my meditations that they get like amplified when I'm out in nature. I really do what I can to actually commune with the elements. Like I'm talking to the water, I'm grateful for the soil, I'm giving it to the ethers. And nothing like gratitude like my struggle over the last couple years. State of the world and how I'm inclined. It just like, you know, deep concern about the world. And even this week I just say to my guy, like, I gotta get out of the rabbit hole this week because I can't. 15 minute cities and digital currency and robots and all the stuff and the AI and the voice, it's a lot. So I have like a one week in the rabbit hole and then three weeks out. Like I want to make some connections and the deepest spiritual place for me really is. Doesn't even really matter who's doing what. Just how am I going to live my life and be well and help others be well?

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This is we were just. I had a girlfriend over and we were just talking about this because she gets really stuck in the rabbit holes of like when big things happen, which is every single day, and she gets paralyzed there to the point where she'll like be crying on the floor. And I had this moment of kind of telling her about what I've had to do to separate of this realization that if I can't do anything about it, you almost have to just say am I capable of helping this situation or doing the thing that you can do? Whether that looks like, I don't know, a post with a link or donating or getting word out there and then cutting it off because it is so unhealthy for us to stay in that place. It's like disempowering and it takes away our whole reason for being and helping anyone else. How do you kind of cut that off once you hear about something in your I know your book is so much about how to be loving as your heart is breaking open and our world is waking up. So I'm guessing this is somewhat of the feeling that we're talking about similar.

To you, like what can I do? What can I do for this specific situation? A lot of prayer and sometimes it's a donation. There's that, then there's two other layers to it for me. Then there's like what can I do in my life? Like where's my own tyranny? Where's my own suffering? Where's their upheaval in my life? I'm Gonna do that, heal my body, my psyche. And the other thing is a meta, truly meta perspective that I really trust. Slash believe that the planet is going through a major detox and it's got to happen. And anybody who's done a detox, like I'm on a metals detox right now, this three month protocol, it's unpleasant, but it's better than the alternative, which is more illness, more sickness, more corruption, more insanity. All of the things, even the natural disasters, I think, okay, this is the mother is crying out, the mother is shaking it up. People are burning karma, people are getting shaken awake, all the corruption. Time to be seen. The veil is thinning. Gotta see who's been trying to get what, what greed has done to us. It's time. I mean, this is what happens. You get more conscious, you realize, oh, maybe I should do some kind of cleanse for my body. You get more conscious, you realize, oh, you know, maybe I should have a meditation, get more conscious. Maybe I should that conversation. Maybe I should go back and do some forgiving and ask for some forgiveness. Those are all like really upheaval, disruptive stuff that are all the result of you waking up and becoming more loving, vibrant, get things done for some of us, person challenging, yes. Worth it. Totally. So that's the third way I deal with it. I just go, well, this is, I believe God's hand, as you say, is in everything, including all the tragedies. And I'm going to do my best to stay healthy and be the light and the tragedy.

The only way to do that is to everything you said and remove yourself and think of what you can focus on. Like what is that positive thing you can focus on? Or healing yourself and talking about healing yourself, you talk about that. It's not necessarily focusing on fixing ourselves. Can you explain that?

When you're talking about healing, Basic quantum physics, what you focus on grows. Do we want to be better? Yes. Do we want to be less anxious, more stable, more productive, prosperous? All this. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Are there things to remedy? Totally. Take the medicine workout, do the five steps, do all of that. But if your attention is always on what is wrong and where the deficit is, what are you going to get? You're going to get more deficit, you're going to get more things to criticize about yourself. More things are going to be off center. I feel that if we focus on the light, on what's working, on loving kindness, on where we're having an effect on what calms the nervous system, that anything that isn't in that vibration of just sweet goodness, it will melt away. So it's like you keep your eye on the problem. You don't get obsessed with it. You know where the cracks are. You don't over privilege what's not working. And you certainly for love. If anybody gets anything in this conversation, stop rehashing the past thinking that it's a solution for a better future. Like, this is why, like, I'm a little off of therapy right now. I may go back someday, but I don't need to tell the same story. I don't want to energize the same dynamic. Stop bitching about what doesn't work in the relationship. It will take maybe all the willpower that you have. But just watch what happens when you stop complaining.

Oh my God. That has been like my focus right now. Because until you start really realizing how much of your thoughts thoughts are in the past. And I know we hear about it all the time, but when you take inventory, it is astounding how much of that you're just even thoughts from yesterday. And whenever that comes in, I've just been saying, cause I listened to a Joe Dispenza podcast that talked about this and he was like, hey, take inventory on it. And whenever it comes in, I kind of just needed something to grab and cling onto. So I just came up with like a sentence of compelling future. That's all I say to myself is, and it makes me think, how am I creating something exciting or hopeful or what are my plans with my family or something that just pulls me into an exciting future. Not an anxiety ridden future, not an I should be doing this, but like a, ooh, what's exciting? Like what am I looking forward to even if it's just about that day? Like, what's the compelling future you're creating? And that has been helping me so much. And it's such a little shift because you're so right. It's like we are just programs of the past and we just keep doing it over and over and over again and wondering why in the heck we feel so bad all day long.

Yeah, I have a similar one, which as I say, I just remind myself, danielle, beautiful vision, beautiful vision. And it's such, it pulls me right out of complaint mode. It definitely pulls me out of any anxiety about all the gnarly stuff happening in the world. Just. And you know, we hear this phrase so much now in this space timeline. And I never, I was kind of like, ah, that's like New Age cheese. But now I'm down with the concept, which is again, basic quantum physics. Your reality is very different than mine and you're choosing yours and I'm choosing mine. I'm going to choose a timeline that is like nourishing. In my timeline, people are waking up, people are kind. All the darkness that's rising, it helps people feel more free. There's more breakthroughs in my timeline. There's sun in my timeline. I'm just gonna keep choosing that. So I have to be really careful about what I ingest in all ways. Like it's more than just no gluten. It's like positive song, positive sound, positive social, all the stuff. If it's not part of the reality, the timeline that I want, I don't give it any time.

And that's obviously a daily practice. That's something that when you, what do you do when you accidentally stumble across something or you're like, ah, I'm going this way. Is there something you say? Kind of like the last mantra that you shared about your vision? Is there something you do? Or.

Well, usually I criticize myself for being.

Why did you do that?

Like it's an addiction and the doom scrolling. I try to go in solution mode, right? Then it's like, oh, well, I'm going to be the healer in this situation and tune out. I do a lot. I do a lot of regular unsubscribing and unfollowing. I've been muting a lot of people that I want to keep in touch with, but I just can't hear about the red pill stuff every day. And then like in terms of pop culture stuff, I don't care about the backbeat. I don't care who it is, if it is negative programming about being heartbroken or that I'm the problem. It's off. Like I just don't even. There's so many, so much mainstream stuff now. I haven't even given it a listen. And it's been hard with movies and stuff, but I just don't even anymore.

There's a lot of peace there.

A lot, so much peace. There's so much peace. I, I watch my, my Gaia videos and I read more and I sit in bed with my Thera face Pro.

Seriously?

Yeah.

And it's interesting because you probably hear a lot more and you talk a lot about wisdom in your book. You probably get to hear a whole just wisdom number one. I'd love to know where you think that comes from. Kind of like external wisdom or inner wisdom or what is that? And have you known as noticed that that volume has kind of gone up on what you're learning. Kind of like what's coming from when you block out all of that noise.

Yeah, I'm able to hear more. I think everybody has access to the universal mind. We're all wisdom and spirit and you know, just that energy of love, it's just eternal. It's always there. It's wants to pour into us. It's just waiting for us to sit, to be still, to go for the walk. You know, like so many times, you know, the my in my past be like I'm gonna get the reading, I'm gonna get the coaching, I'm gonna do the $500 an hour shrink, all the things. And I did all of that without just did. I sit down for 15 minutes and ask my higher self what it had to say, not just running around referencing outside sources. And now I go first. And even I still have people, of course I consult. There's mastermind type business stuff. I have an energy healer who's part of our membership who's like on my payroll. But even that I've made it now practice of I ask me first and maybe I don't have to go to her. And if I do go to her, I'm like, this is what I think. What do you think? And even when I get a response, it's more like this is colleague to colleague, not me worshiping someone else's wisdom. And I find this is what I do. I kind of have a practice of set it and forget it. So I am not in a habit of throughout the day, oh, I need to hire someone or this restaurant or to take that trip or whatever. What should I do? I don't do that. I really tap in in the morning. I do my thing. I dedicate my day to the awakening of all beings. I sit, I have a very active meditation practice, so I'm not sitting there. The vipassana, the breathing has never worked for me. I work with color, I work with light. I ask for some guidance and then I go and I do my day. And I just assume that the idea I have at noon is a good idea.

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Yeah.

Oh, man. I. It's crazy, this. The last couple years, I went into, like, a totally new business for myself that was completely outside of anything I have ever done in my life, and. And I got really into the technicalities instead of where my magic has kind of always lied. I've been a walker twice a day since I can remember. So 60 minutes in the morning, 60 minutes in the evening. I've always bookended it. Walk out in nature, like, just listening. And that is where every great idea has come from. But guess what I really haven't done. Like, I've been walking, but I've been more walking with a podcast in or thinking of a problem or, like, I forgot that I had so much access to that. I totally forgot. So the last year, it was, like, so stressed out, not, like, really starting to rely on these outside voices and people. I was losing money, making mistakes, just feeling so lost, and realized I am not doing the thing that works for me, and I'm putting all of this trust in other people because even though I was going into something new, I kind of said, well, I'm not the one who knows best here, because they know better. So I just gave everybody else everything, all of my trust, and just noticed just recently had kind of one of those moments with girlfriends where we were all sitting down, just discussing, just opening up everything, right? And all of a sudden I was like, oh, my God, I'm not doing the things that give me that access. I'm totally ignoring this thing that has always felt so certain and secure and powerful. You know what the feeling of when you tap into that is? So that's been really profound for me. And this podcast is such a great reminder of that. Like, we get so far away from that and you don't even realize it.

And it's Actually agitating. It's like, we want this piece. We want these clear answers. But going to the multiple sources is just like, shaken up the bottle all the time. Just let it settle. And my experience, you know, would I love to hear things from the universe? Sure. Do I? No, I just, like, I have an idea. Do I hear things on the walk? Sometimes. Sometimes I question them. I'm just like, am I stretching? You know, the universal mind is very gentle.

Okay. I love, love that you're sharing this, because I think people listening might be like, well, maybe I'm not special. I don't hear these specific voices. And I've actually gone through this. I hung out in this very spiritual community for a long period of time. And I was like, is it just me or is, like, nobody talking to me here? And I'm like, am I supposed to, like, what am I supposed to hear? So I sat during most of these circles and meditations going, like, opening my eye a little bit, like, is, are people, like, are there angels around these people talking to them? Because I'm not. I'm not quite getting this. So I think for anybody listening, it's always been quiet with me. Like, sometimes it's profound where I'm like, what was that? Was that me just saying that voice? Did I make that up? And sometimes it is in the form of exactly what you said. You're like, is this a good idea? It's an idea. It could work.

But sometimes. This is so tricky because sometimes the ego self or unhealed self really, really wants to be special. Yes. So we will tell ourselves. The goddess told me, or I got a download. Not everything has to be like, come in a chariot for it to be right for your life, for you to be attuned. So I think, like, there's a lot of labeling that can happen. And I really. I believe that it's actually pretty rare to have direct visitation and direct guidance. And we need to be like, just, just, just careful with who says their channel and who and where it comes from. And you know, when somebody says to me, it came to me in a dream or I got a download or I heard it in meditation, I don't disvalue it, but I don't give it any more value than if somebody just says, hey, I got an idea, I.

Love that because it is. I just thinking of all of the things that have kind of landed in my life, they come from all over, all over. So I think that puts less. When I'm hearing you say it, it actually makes me feel so much less pressure around certain things. Like, oh, well, this wasn't on the full moon, and it wasn't on 11 11, 2011. So I don't know if this is.

Going to be the. The unicorn pressure. Having to be spiritually special.

It really, you know, I tried it for a long time, and it was a lot of pressure because I was like. And I'm only saying that because truly, I feel like I just got confused for a while. And it's not a bad thing. It was actually quite wonderful to realize that it didn't have to be that way. And it was all things. So my husband and I kind of talk about. We did a podcast yesterday just about alignment. And we're like, I kind of love that word and kind of hate it, because things that aren't aligned for you, you don't even know what it's aligned for you until you're in those things. And those are equally as important for the contrast. So I don't actually think anything is ever out of alignment because it's always showing you something. So, yeah. Is there a time for you that you look back and you're like, whoa, that thing was a major contrast? That absolutely showed me something else.

Yeah. My 30s, I feel that that whole chapter, I, you know, when I look back on, like, a different Danielle, I think, you know, and this became part of my brand. Like, outspoken, brazen, lot of swearing, lot of, like, I was like, the edgy one on, you know, at the. Of the speaking event. And I have changed. I feel it. I know it. I know why it happened. Lots of people have remarked on it, just way more gentle. And I think what's become clear for me these last couple of years is, like, I really have authority issues. And I used to think that was like, this sexy, cool thing, but really it's just this fear of being controlled. And that I think was really driving this kind of rebellious, brazen kind of brand I had. But the light in that, because there's always a love side to the fear side, is, you know, I'm committed to transparency. Like, I'm committed to me being my own authority now. And it's just. I don't need to push as hard.

You used a word in your book unbotherable, and I loved it. How does one start to practice becoming unbotherable?

Yeah. Be kind. Just let it go. Just let it go. Unbotherable is. Well, this is. I'll tell the story quickly that I tell in the. In how to Be loving is. I'm going for A walk with somebody that I love. I'm really committed to loving them for the rest of their life. And they are really great at being passive aggressive. And I am really great historically at being so offended and pissed off by this behavior. So one day I had just really must have been the weather and the meditation. I just had a more enlightened moment about it. They did their thing, kind of took a little swipe at me, or as we say in our family, like, you know, he gave me a shot kind of thing. And I took my medicine. I looked at the sky. This is an actual practice. Look at the sky. Think to yourself, my love is actually this vast. My true nature is this expansive. This is Buddha nature. I breathe into my heart everything, all good things, all that, the crux of the heart chakra. And I just thought, well, I can take this today. And they are in a lot of pain. They don't have a lot of tools currently. And this is what they do. And I'm going to be the bigger person. This is what it means to be the bigger person. It's not get on my high horse. I'm going to be spacious. I am so loving. I can spend an afternoon with them being in their funk and not take it personally and actually be nice to them. Be kind. And that's it. That's spirituality. At least it's my version. Just don't say the thing. Don't say the thing.

The first year that my family relationships, I feel like, have really gotten so good. Like, so good. And the only thing that's changed is me.

Funny, common denominator, you. I'm like, oh.

I heard Mel Robbins say once, and this is what actually started it. She said there was something with, like, her mom, and she gets really triggered by her mom, and her sister doesn't get triggered. And she was like, how in the heck do you not get triggered by this stuff? Like, we lived the same life. And the sister said, I just don't take the bait. Like, I just let it sit there. And I was like, oh, my God. I don't have to let it affect me. I don't have to take it. Because of course I know that when you were on that walk or, you know, whatever was happening, I'm sure you.

Feel it a little.

And you're like, okay, totally. But, like, that is so. I mean, that is, like, spot on for the unbotherable. Because, man, you do that and you want to talk about peace in your nervous system, and it's challenging. Like, that is tough for me. I'M going to be honest. Like, every time I kind of like, you know, go home, there's just so many different beliefs. I know that you, you wrote the book White Hot Truth. And that book for me, Danielle, that one just like, oh, man, that was one of the best books for me because it just really gave me a lot of it freed me, like, it helped me see like, just full spectrum and perspective. And I come from a really religious background, so it's, it's that whole thing that, that comes up around are you good? Belonging, all of these different things. So the unbotherable. I'm gonna just, we just, you know, I'm gonna get that tattooed on my wrist.

It's so. It's actually so much easier. Like, I used to be so botherable. I didn't like the music choice in the cafe. Why, why are they doing that? And the smell of the guy on me next, next to yoga on my mat, you know, just like all the things and I just like, gosh, I'm bigger than this. I'm bigger than this. I got room. I got room. And, and, and, and my job is to create conditions of healing. Like, I know what's ideal for me. I know what's ideal. I have a beautiful little life. And when it's not beautiful and all messy and disruptive and other humans get into it, just like, like I have more room than I used to.

Question. Okay, question on that same topic.

Yeah.

Okay, so do you. Because unbotherable for me. Like, I can definitely do it in containers, Danielle, in, in limited time quantities. And it's almost like maybe I need to grow that capacity or not or what I found is I kind of keep it to limited time periods because sometimes it gets to be so much that I can feel myself just like, if this goes on for hour, I will snap. What do you do in that situation? Do you kind of say, hey, this is going to be enough for me for the day? Like, this walk is like my way to still love this person. And I do love them and want to spend that time with them, but maybe I'm not going to spend. I'm not going to like stay at their house for the whole week during the holidays. Do you have kind of like caps on?

Okay, no need to suffer.

Okay.

Like, your job is the conditions of healing. What's going to be best for you. And then what goes in the bucket of tolerate, like, best is I do this in doses. I get in there, you know, it takes all I got. There might be a bit of damage I pull out, I repair, I go back in. I mean, you can control a lot. You can control a lot of it, and you can do a lot for the sake of love.

Yeah.

Somewhere there and there's some balance for your nervous system.

Mm. I found my loving comes with boundaries. And it. It's abound in the, in the, in the hour, though it's a bound, it's overflowing. And then we're like, okay, I'll see you later. Okay, let's talk about kind of what you wrote about on desire. So for desirelessness, but also while holding a vision. Because, Danielle, vision is what excites me and pulls me forward. But what's kind of that, that balance?

Can we go like really metaphysical for a second?

Yes, for sure.

Okay. So humanity lives in these 2,000 year cycles. We've just come through the Piscean age, which is all individuation. My will, get it done. Got it. It's part of the maturity of the, like human psyche. Age of Aquarius that we are now firmly in is all about collaboration. The dissolution of the ego, loving kindness, the divine feminine really leading the way. And so we move into a different model, which is thy will be done. Thy can be your higher self. If that's what works for you. It can be the divine feminine, it can be your God, whatever. But it's just like I'm now going to collaborate with higher energy, with Source, and Source is going to direct me. Source is going to direct me. Why would you want anything else to direct you? Just go to the Source, the greatest wisdom, the greatest love, that miraculous stuff, you know, as Dispenza calls it, the void. Go there, go there. Don't go to an influencer. You don't need to go to your shrink. You don't actually need another self help book. Although how to Be Loving is awesome.

Although just that one would be great.

Just that one would be great. So I even forget the question. I got off on Age of Desirelessness. Okay, so you are going to desire. The mind is constantly comparing better, less than want, need, have, don't have. It's human nature. So the question then, like the, the evolving question is, what are you desiring? So my prayer now is like, help me pray for the right things. I want the right things. I want to be aligned with my soul. I want to be a whole person. I want to be in integrity. I want to heal, receive it and give it. Show me how to do that. Everything else is gravy, everything else is the ride. Sometimes I feel like I Take a bit of a risk on myself. I push it a little bit and say, okay, manifesting is technology, anybody can do it. What are you manifesting? I think if you have heart centered visions. So like my happiness includes the happiness of other people. When I get it, when I get whatever it is, the money, the material thing, the relationship, I'm going to use this on behalf of making things better. I believe what happens is one, we actually get peace when we get the goal. So whether it's like your quarterly objectives or you meet the person when it happens, you actually enjoy it for a minute, you sleep great that night and then you let the next vision, the next goal actually emerge from that satisfaction. Which really amps up your chances of that new vision coming to be because it's coming from this full, really nourished place. Whereas I've talked to so many people about goal setting, the ego manufactured goal, you can and get it, you get it. Sure. Just do the science and you will be on to the next thing. You're not going to sleep good that night. You actually don't have a real celebration. It's the next thing. You don't get peace. And so the next goal is still built from a place of wanting and scarcity and what I know to be true for myself and what I see happen. I would say especially with people in our industry, if you keep setting those goals from that place of the strive of like the never enough, you're going to hit the wall. And so it might be a diagnosis, it could be a divorce you really didn't want to have happen. It could be a bankruptcy for the soul to say, okay, can we just get you to want the right thing and then go for it? Yeah.

Oh man. Is that, is that differentiation of where it's coming from? That's a tough one sometimes because I feel like I've definitely woken up, which thankfully I did one recently that was definitely not for the right reasons, but woke up right before I did it. So meaning I just had this moment of even just asking a million questions around it, right? Because it was like all of these questions. I had to even figure out what the right questions were to ask kind of around it. And the one that really got me was what is my day to day going to look like and is this actually something I'm going to enjoy and does this take me away from the things that actually bring me ultimate joy? And I was like, oh, that checked every one of those boxes. I didn't want it to check. So that's not going to happen right now. And it's funny when you realize that it's a little easier to let go of.

Yeah, this is not the life I want to live. I once, you know, I was going to start a magazine. I had the whole. I had the first issue designed. We had the printer lined up and I got up one morning and I thought, you know, my vision is I want to be able to work from anywhere in the world. I want to be on a beach and be making decisions or writing the next thing.

Yeah.

And I just thought, I cannot run a magazine on the beach. This is not, and those are my exact words. This is not the life I want to live. Hold the plug.

What was the reason why you wanted the magazine? When you thought of the magazine and it excited you, what was the picture in your head that excited you? And were you able to get that in a different way?

The sensuality of paper and getting things in the mail and I just saw thousands of people sitting down with a cup of something and just, it was really. I didn't even have the words at the time. But it's like this nervous system nourishment, you know. Then I was going to do all these cool things and pull outs and all this stuff with it and I'm just obsessed with like book e kind of things.

Totally do.

I get it now. I don't get the sensual in that way. I mean even video, well produced video and online courses. No, it's so fulfilling. Oh my gosh, it's fulfilling for 900 different reasons. But I don't have my print fixed. In fact, you know, just to use the word, I sunsetted. I sunsetted our day planners, which was like a very lucrative vertical for us for many years. And I miss them. I want to bring them back. I love.

Well, I will be interested to continue to follow and see if I can note where your sensuality comes out in print. That's awesome. That's exciting. So what is exciting you most right now?

What's exciting me most is, well, professionally where I'm at in the business, which is things are just ripe on the vine and now we're just going to get the word out and really simplifying what I'm creating. Like, I just really know what I'm going to make this year in terms of offerings. What's exciting me in other realms. Just like I'm really in love and what's exciting is making it a priority. Like really not just like, oh, we found each other and isn't that amazing? But like, what does it really look to have. Look like to have the relationship be center. So really, it's like, it's the divine. It's wellness, it's partnership, and it's service and sometimes, you know, different days, different things in the lead. But that's life right now.

Yeah, I love that so much. I. I have been married almost 18 years now.

I know you guys, it's a long time for you guys.

It's a long time, but I love it. I literally. And we put it at the center, and I feel like, because we do that, I feel very. I feel very unshakable, if I'm being honest, because when you have. I just heard a quote. It was so beautiful. It was people with the strongest relationships or it was people with the strongest home life are willing to take the biggest risks. And I just thought, man, that is so true, because I feel so solid in that area that it's okay to go play and live life and know that it's kind of all made up. And even though it doesn't feel that way often, but that it helps you come back to that realizing, hey, we get to do this win or fail. Like, we get to do this life. So I'm so happy for you. I can literally feel it. I can feel it radiating from you. So that's awesome. Well, Danielle, I'm so excited. I love your book, how to Be Loving. I'm almost done with it. Really. I have, like, probably 30 pages left, and I'll probably go back and read another one of your books again because truly, you're one of my favorite authors. You are.

Thank you.

Reading your words is like the most. It's like a delicious meal. I don't know. It's like, I'm full. I feel satiated. You are just like, a word. Smith. Sometimes I go to your book just to find new words that I don't use to make myself feel smarter. Like, my vocab is so small. Let's see what else. What other word I can add in here? So how can we support you? Where can we get the book?

The book is everywhere. There's also a really cool deck and a journal. And I really love it when people come to danielleport.com so we can have, like, a closer relationship. If you just want a date, you can find me on Instagram. But, like, if you want to go, like, steady.

Daniellaport.com so great, you guys definitely go grab this book. This is an amazing book. But I gotta be honest, your other books are my favorites as well. So you cannot go wrong reading this woman's writing. I am. I am a true. Just a fan of your work. I'm so grateful for all that you put out into the world. And you guys, go find her, go follow her, go support her. But most of all, one of the coolest things we can do is just let her know what you got out of this podcast. Give her a tag. Danielle, what's your handle?

Danielle laporte.

Danielle laporte. And just let her know what your biggest takeaway was from this as well. And if you're getting the book. All right, everyone, we're so grateful for you. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone.

Sam.