Doing This Will Guarantee A Win!

Don't ask and ask and ask. Switch it to Provide value. Provide value. Provide value so that you have a better reason to stay on the forefront of people's minds. That's how you continue to follow up daily, weekly, monthly, whatever your pace is, and make sure that you're the person that someone thinks of.

And we're back with another episode of He Said, she Said.

So we're finally doing it. We're finally listening and reading books when we go to bed at night. How long did it take us to get back in that routine?

Oh, man, I have been asking all summer. But you know what? That is our time at our lake house to, like, do different things. So now that we're back at our other home, I feel like it's so much easier to be in a routine here. But it's great. That's why we go to the lake house, is to get out of routine, mix up the energy. And I can honestly tell you, I have not felt this recharged since I can remember. Like, for the last couple years, I'm.

Feeling the same thing. Rubber band, totally pulled back, ready to slingshot.

And it's because we had that totally different routine.

Yeah, we need dichotomy. I wrote about that in my. My weekly email that goes up. Anyhow, what I wanted to talk about was now that we're reading when we go to bed, we started this book called when I stop talking, you'll know I'm dead. And it's the biography of Jerry Weintraub. Now, a lot of people probably don't know who this guy is, but he is one of the biggest legends in show business, one of the biggest legends in managing people like Elvis and, I think, the Beatles and a whole bunch of other individuals. And he really, like, is one of those most influential figures ever. And there's two things that were his superpower that made him so, so rich and famous and helped him create so many stars. And that is. He said that he is a very persuasive man, and the power of persuasion is attached to never giving up. He said those two things are what made him. He said, I'm not well educated. I'm not fancy. I'm not this. I'm not extra talented. I'm just very persuasive, and I never, ever give up. He told this great story. This is what led us to it. We heard the story last night how he wanted to take Elvis on tour. Now, he wasn't Elvis's manager. He was nothing. And he was 26 years old. He's in the beginning of his career, Jerry Weintraub was. So he had no business taking Elvis on tour. And Elvis was managed by, if any of you saw the movie, a guy named the Colonel. And so Jerry started calling the Colonel, saying, hey, no one's taken Elvis on tour. Not in the way I want to do it. I want to take him on tour. When can we meet? And the guy's like, who are you? You're a nobody, right? That's what the Colonel said to Jerry. You're a nobody. You're a kid. And if we ever took Elvis on tour, it wouldn't be with you. And so he went on to call the Colonel every day. Picture this. Pick up the phone and call this man who rejected you. A very brash, bold, jerky man, too, who rejected you every single day for months. Hey, it's me, Jerry, again. I want to take Elvis on tour. Hey, it's me, Jerry, again. I want to take Elvis. And he said something really important because he ended up being the one that took Elvis on tour. That's the punchline. But there's a better punchline. That's this, he said. It wasn't that I knew I was going to convince the Colonel to let me take Elvis on tour. It was that if they ever decided to take him on tour, I know that I put myself in position to be the first guy he thought of because I was so relentless and obnoxious about it. And I was just like, wow, what a lesson. What does everybody want in their life that they're not being obnoxious and relentless about? And they're giving up. And that's the only way to get stopped. It's the only way to fail is by giving up. If you actually don't give up, if you actually reach down into that little piece of DNA that doesn't care what other people think, and you try again, and you try again, and you try again, and you try again, and you try again, and you try again, and you never stop. Then you can never fail. It's that simple. You. It's simple, but massive.

I was just thinking while you were talking about how we've had a few people throughout our careers continue to reach out, like, hey, if you ever have a position open up, or, hey, if you ever need somebody for this, like, I'm your girl. And while I literally have not had anything coming up soon, I have something that I will need to fill.

And you got them in mind?

And I have them in mind. Even though for the longest time I was like, oh, my gosh. I don't have anything. And, you know, like, maybe you could stop this for a little bit. But now that I'm in the position, guess who's coming to my mind? The ones who were relentless about letting me know that they would love to be in a position of some sort. And the people who've only asked once, only twice, I don't remember them. So it's such a good lesson of whose mind are you staying in the forefront of? And you know what? I just don't see it anymore, Chris. I don't see a lot of people do this.

Nope.

I see people try once, try twice, try three times. Three times is great. And that's it. It's like, well, I tried. Five is not trying.

No.

I was thinking about how much I emailed Oxygen magazine to try to get in the magazine and on the COVID And it was four years of every single month being told, you're not the.

Right look, you're not the right fit. Four years mean feedback.

Four years of every single, single month. I just stayed in touch and tried to offer value and would say, okay, well, what about, you know, do you need a recipe? What type of content do you need? Not even asking. Actually, I stopped asking after I learned the lesson of don't ask and provide value. And then I started to say, hey, I just came up with this recipe. Do you want it in your magazine?

I want to clarify what you can do.

You can shoot the pictures.

There's a comma in there that I want to make sure people caught.

Yep.

Don't ask and ask and ask. Switch it to provide value. Provide value. Provide value so that you have a better reason to stay on the forefront of people's minds. That's how you continue to follow up daily, weekly, monthly, whatever your pace is, and make sure that you're the person that someone thinks of when they're finally ready to buy or finally ready to hire or finally ready for that cover or finally. Right.

Like, yeah.

So much about sales in life or getting your way in life is not about changing someone's mind today. It's about being the first person on their mind tomorrow when they're finally ready for whatever you have to offer.

Yep. And I just wanna add something that when you are deciding to switch to adding value, I think there's something really important in there that I have always added and seen people add where it feels really good and it feels like clean energy rather than like, why are they doing this? Do they want something? It's kind of like saying you know, I would love to help you with this. Or. Or here's what I can offer you, or here's some content you can use. No strings attached. I just wanna stay in the front of your mind. If something would ever come up, that's it. And saying something like that makes the person feel not like you're like, okay, now I need something from you. And so I think that there's this like, graceful, beautiful dance that you'll figure out you're not gonna get it right all the time. Trust me. I've sent lots of emails that afterward I read something and learned something from someone later on a podcast. And I'm like, oh, I could kick myself for writing it that way. But that' how you learn. Ask for feedback, like, but consistently try to stay in the forefront of people's minds.

I don't think people really realize, you know, they only know about the covers. You got 11 covers of different fitness magazines. Right. I don't think they realize it was four years of being turned down on a regular basis. Same thing with your book. When you went to get a book deal, how many publishers turned you down?

21.

21 publishers? Nope. You're not right. Nope. Your audience isn't big enough. Nope. You're, you know, this is stupid book.

Yeah, this is stupid. This has been done before. They didn't use the word stupid, but they essentially said that this is fluff content.

Yep.

And this has already been done. No one's interested.

And finally, number 22 gives you a massive book deal for a first time author.

Y.

Right.

Which is still. That book is still continuing to sell yesterday. This is so exciting. So book was published May 2017. Yesterday. I just got an email that they want to translate my book to Czech.

Yep.

And that's super exciting because now I.

Have another little book, another advance, and more royalties.

Yes, very exciting.

None of that would have happened if you gave up on publisher number five or publisher number 10, or publisher number 15 or publisher number 20 or even 21. If you would have given up there, none of this would be happening. So if we have any message for you, it just hit me last night. Listen to this awesome book. And again, if you want to, if you like biographies, like, you have to like biographies or like this book. That's my favorite kind of book. Biographies of like, really awesome people accomplish big things because then I learned through their journey, when I stopped talking, you'll know I'm dead by Jerry Weintraub. That's the biography. But last night when he said that simple but profound thing. I'm like, oh my God. That's defined our life. That has defined our life. You cannot fail if you do not stop. It is up to you to step up to the plate and step up to the plate and step up to the plate. Always tweaking and learning each time in between until you are finally in position to be the person that someone says yes to when that person needs what you have to offer. No matter what that might be. You follow that recipe. You'll never fail. It might take you longer than you think. It will take you longer than.

Damn it.

Everything in our life has taken us longer than we could think.

We're not where we want to be.

Every thing. I want you guys to hear this.

Why is this taking so long?

I want you guys to hear this. Every single thing in our life takes longer than we expected it to take. It takes adjusting. It takes changing on the fly. It takes learning and tweaking. Everything in our life that you guys think is so easy or wild they knocked out of the park has taken us way longer than we thought it would. I mean, we don't stop.

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We're living our goals today of like seven years ago.

Yep.

So let's just remember like this was on my vision board seven years ago, not one year seven. So you have to remember it feels slow. It does. But that's why we have a great gratitude practice too is because we while we're building and while it feels slow, we also want to be so insanely grateful for what we have. And I just want you to remember as you're asking, like most everybody will feel really annoying. I remember every time I emailed I was like, well, I'm either one email away from them totally blocking me or a restraining order or they think that this is like a girl who's just checking in and staying on their radar.

Either way you win.

Either way. Either way, I ended up winning. And something else I want to share about that, like about the never quitting is when I finally got the email back that they said, yes, come up. We're going to do a test cover shoot, it doesn't mean that you're going to get the coverage. And so I flew myself up there. I paid for the plane ticket, I paid for the room. I paid for the clothes. They had some on set, but you have to bring a ton of your own. And did the whole shoot for the whole day, Got really excited, had my hopes up. And right when my cover was about to come out, they let me in.

They said, hey, good news, we're doing.

The COVID Good news, we're doing the.

COVID I was so excited, I cried. I was elated. I knew the month that it was coming out. They called me a few weeks before the magazine came out and said, oh, we're not gonna run your cover. With no reason why whatsoever.

Why?

And typically, when they say they're not going to run your cover, it meant in the world of that particular magazine that you would never get another chance. And so instead of being completely devastated for the rest of my life or burning bridges, or burning bridges or saying that I was so upset and going through whatever I went through, I gracefully said, thank you so much for the opportunity and the amazing day. And then I cried, obviously on my own for about a week. And then I kept reaching out. I kept reaching out. And the next year, I went up again, shot a cover that finally came out and turned into, I think, with that company, like, seven other covers, maybe eight.

Yep. It was incredible. So, guys, if you take anything away from this, yeah, it's going to take you longer than you think. But you cannot fail if you do not give up. And that might be small, basic advice, but it's also the most important advice that you will probably ever let sink in and follow if you are destined to do great things.

We're so grateful for you, and we will see you next week.

Thanks for listening.