Emily Lark, Founder Of Back To Life, On The Mistakes That Turned Out To Be Her Greatest Lessons & How Her Gratitude Practice Transformed Her Business

Start small, Start sooner and start small. Stop letting all of these things be barriers. You know, like you and I said, like, I can't afford a rent in a fancy studio. Find something small. Start teaching classes in a park and be the best you can be till word spreads and grow from there. Like, break it down into small steps, small commitments, and just go, just get going.

Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the show. I am so excited you're here. Thank you guys so much for always showing up. I literally wouldn't have a podcast without you. So I'm so glad that I get to come on this mic and picture all of your faces and who I'm talking to. And the coolest part about when I picture who I'm talking to, I picture me. I picture the past me. I picture the present me, I picture the future me. I'm like, what do I need? Because you guys, we are all so much alike. There are very few differences in all of us when we are wanting to achieve a dream, wanting to go for it, wanting to play bigger, wanting to feel more connected, wanting to feel like we have that network that can help us. So honestly, we are one in the same. And I just love that I get to come on here and talk to my people and feel like we are in this together because we truly are. And whatever you're working on right now, I just want to remind you that it's the long game. If you're feeling like it's been a while and you just feel like banging your head against the wall, remember that. To really have something good, I really believe it does take about five, if not 10 years. If that feels overwhelming to you, just remember that time is going to go by anyway. Time will go by anyway. Why not spend it being stretched, being challenged, creating the life that you want and creating something out in the that could make a difference in your life, in your family's life, in other people's lives. Because at the end of the day, like I said, time is going to go by. So you could take the easy route, or you can take the route that actually delivers the results that you're wanting. Because we all know the easy route isn't actually easy. It is painful. It is the route that you choose when you decide to stop creating your life and you allow life to hand whatever it is going to hand to you, which is not ever good if you are not choosing and actively creating. So just remember, keep actively grading you guys. Keep going for it. If you're getting a lot of no's, good. That's so good. That just tells you that you need to try a new direction. So that's the totally, totally normal part of business, is feeling frustrated and learning how to deal with that emotion instead of getting upset at all of the no's, really understanding that that is part of the journey and to not have so much resistance around it and to kind of learn how to let it roll. Like, learn how to not let it have the emotional charge on you and just expect it. I think we expect things to be a lot easier than they typically are. So then we have an expectation hangover. We feel really low about it, we feel sad, we feel like we are not doing it right. And it's absolutely not the case. So I hope that this podcast gives you permission and know how, that this is how it feels. It's not easy. It's a stretch. It's challenging, but it is the life you choose if you want to live out your purpose. And it's still a million times better. It still feels like you get to live life to a higher extent than you could ever imagine. Even if you took the easier route. I'm telling you, it is always worth it. Because when you take the easy route, like I said, it gets harder. Your life gets harder. All right, so today on the podcast, I have the amazing Emily Lark. We met at a mastermind, where someone speaking of stretching and being uncomfortable, I was stretched and very uncomfortable. Cause it was a mastermind that I typically wouldn't attend with people I did not know. So I'll be attending a lot more of these because it was in the product space, but it was new to me. I felt like a fish out of water. No, I didn't know anyone. Nobody knew me. And it was uncomfortable. So this is where I met this fantastic woman who is so successful. She's the creator and owner of Back to Life, the number one selling back pain relief program in the world. So even if you don't have back pain, you guys, this podcast is about so many different things. It's about the journey. It's about creating something out of a need that she had. So I want you to find yourself in the story and really think of what she did. She's worked as a health and fitness expert for over 20 years and has always been passionate about helping people to feel great in their bodies and overcome debilitating pain. But after struggling as a small studio owner and a single mom, Emily dove into the online marketing world to launch her first, first digital program, which was Back to Life, the Complete Healthy Back System. And she created A unique marketing system that allowed her product to reach a global scale. And she has since used the system to launch several other successful product lines in health and fitness space. Emily is now an international speaker and author with a passion for helping women step outside of their comfort zone and into entrepreneurship. I love this story because this is a very niche thing, you guys.

Back pain.

Like, she took her pain and turned it into her purpose and turned it into something that is so insanely successful. So how do we take something that may not seem like it can be big, but we're so passionate about it and turn it into something that is global? You guys, let's get started. Emily, I'm sorry. So excited to have you on the podcast. Thank you so much for coming on.

Thank you so much. This is like a bucket list day for me, getting to be on your podcast.

Stop. Stop it right now. This is amazing. Well, good. Then we both have bucket lists where we're getting to chat and connect, and I'm so excited about this. So, Emily, we got to meet in real life recently at a Mastermind, where we were learning about entrepreneurship, selling products, networking, all of the things. And you were one of the first people I got to. To talk to on the first night, which was so great, because I don't know about you, but it doesn't matter how many times I go to these things when I'm, like, the new girl, and especially because people knew each other. You know, so many people knew each other at this particular mastermind that when I met you, and you were so, so sweet and so open and so fun, I was like, oh, thank God. Like, thank you, God, for putting this very nice person on my path. And we dropped in and had a great conversation and learned that you watched my TED Talk.

Totally. It was so funny, Lori, because I saw you there on the first night, and I instantly recognized you. I had seen your TED Talk years ago. Right. But I instantly recognized you, and you were sitting next to another good friend of ours, you know, mutual friend. And so I woke up, and I'm like, in my mind, I'm like, do I play it cool and pretend like I don't know who she is? Do I, like, fangirl? And, like. And I totally just fangirled. And, you know, and then we hit it off. But then it was like on the last night when we were on the dance floor and we were both on the dance, we're, like, jumping up and down. Like, you and I both kind of dance like freaks a little bit. Like, we did. We don't care. We just like, jump up and down, like. And I was like, oh, yeah, this is my girl.

Oh, my God. And by the. I wasn't drinking that night. And I literally had the best night of dancing in my entire life. And I was like, wow, I had the best time. That was so much fun.

We looked like we were like out of an 80s jazzer sized movie, like, with our dance boobs.

We had the most fun. We, for sure, we're the two girls that are having the most fun, so. Well, I'm so grateful now that I can have you on the podcast to ask you a few questions that I know we didn't necessarily get to when we were hanging out because it actually turned out to be a little more on the fun side than really getting going into the business stuff. And I was like, great, we'll catch up after. Which those events are so good for. That's why I think they're important to really, like, establish some of those in person relationships as well. So. So, Emily, I got to learn about you, and you have, you know, this incredible business. Who has. You've impacted hundreds of thousands of people. When I say that, is that weird?

Are you like, it's super weird.

How did that happen? And I also know that you didn't start your businesses until your 30s.

Right.

Or start your business.

Yeah.

Okay, so I want to know about that career path. Like, what were you. Just tell me a little bit about what you were doing before, how you discovered this, like, very niche thing that you've been so successful in, and then we'll kind of talk about the things that you had to get over. But I want to know just the initial story. Yeah.

So, you know, in my 20s, I worked in fitness. I taught yoga as a personal trainer, Pilates instructor, loved fitness. And I always. I always wanted to open my own studio. I was always very entrepreneurial. In fact, a few times I almost opened a studio and then didn't. And when I was in my late 20s, I had just horrible, horrible back pain. I spent a year just flat on my back laying on ice packs. Couldn't even work.

My gosh.

Yeah.

Real quick, how did you cope with that? A year in your 20s? So away from friends. Right. This is like disconnection from your social circle. What did that feel like?

It was so depressing. I had just gotten married. It was the first year of my marriage, too.

Oh, my God.

And we had just moved to a new city for his job, and so it was like, so isolating. I mean, I was just not fun to be around. I was very depressed. I ate a lot. Like, I watched a lot of like, Gilmore Girls and just like, ate.

That would have been me.

Yeah, yeah. And I was just obsessed. Like, all I could think about was back pain. Like, all I did was research and go to doctors and go to acupuncturist. And it was like so much money, so much time. Like, that was my whole life was like back pain and figuring out how to get out of it. And I finally, like, after a year of like, every kind of doctor and specialist you can think of, nothing worked. I was told I needed back surgery and I was only 28. And I was like, I can't. I can't do back surgery at age 28. So that's when I was like, I'm going to try to fix this on my own. And I literally just experimented on my own body with everything I already knew about fitness and anatomy and alignment. Experimented on my own body. And once I did that, I actually very quickly got out of pain, like from 100 to 0 pain. Just very, very quickly. So never did I think, oh, this is something I'm going to, like, teach other people or what. It kind of just felt like something that I was so grateful for. Life changing for me. Now I can go about my life. So in my early 30s, I finally opened my first studio. I opened a yoga and Pilates studio. And so many of the people coming in were older and they had back pain. And so I started working with them and, you know, ok, okay, let's see how this works for you. Let's. Let's give this a try. And found that the method I had used for myself worked just as well for them. So I spent a few years really working with hundreds of people in person to help them get out of back pain. And then from there, that's years later. It all was very organic. Then I was never, oh, I'm going to put this on video and create a program out of it. But years later, actually I was going through a divorce. So from the first year of marriage, then to my divorce, which was very unexpected.

Too much Gilmore Girls or.

Yeah, right, right. Too much ice cream. No, no.

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But so, yeah, so it was when I was going through my divorce that I was like, well, maybe this is something I could sell online and have, you know, figure out how to spread this to more people and supplement my income with the studio. And then that just took off. And so it was all. None of it was very planned. It was all just every step led from one thing to the next.

I love those stories because, first of all, it's the idea of, obviously, you know, this, your. Your message, your message. When we're in it, we just. We don't think of that, right? Like, oh, this back pain is going to lead me to this incredible care. Like, you're not. You're not thinking that. But, you know, for anybody who's listening to this, a lot of the things that you're going through right now are for a very big purpose or are so that you can go through it to figure it out, to then help other people figure it out. So for you also, you know, I love that you pointed out, it's not like you had this final plan all lined up to have you arrive here with this successful business and helping hundreds of thousands of people. It is very organic, and it's kind of like one step will reveal itself if you're willing to continue to move forward, forward down that path. And it just sounds like you just kept being willing to say, okay, well, what's the next natural progression? So when you found yourself after the kind of the, you know, working with different people and the yoga and Pilates and now starting to help people with back pain, when were you like, oh, I think that I could make this bigger. What was the first. Was there an event? Was somebody. Did you see somebody online doing it?

I had so many people coming to me, actually. Yeah. I do remember the first moment, you know, people would come to me and say, like, you've got to, like, tell more people about this. You got to work with more people. And my studio was very small. I actually rented a room inside a church basement. Like, it was very, like, small. I love that it was, like, low overhead. Like, I didn't have the money, right. So I remember one woman came up to me and she was like, she's like, my sister in Colorado has the worst back pain. Could you make a video for her?

Oh, my God.

I did I just filmed a video for her on my phone, text it to her sister, and it helped her sister. And I was like, oh, okay. Like, maybe this could, maybe this could work even if I'm not in person with people. So it's like super organic.

I don't know if you know my. Probably not, because where would you have heard this? But I literally rented a space, a lower level of a chiropractic office. One of my clients who I trained from LA Fitness, it was $6 per 30 minute session at the time, and she was like, hey, I. I have a basement if you want to train out of there. Instead, it was unfinished. It was like wooden studs. I trained for a year with all the electrical wiring and I like had these mirrors that you put out. You know, the $8 ones you put on the back of your door when you're a teenager. I had three of those up. And anyway, that's in. One of my people was like, hey, when I'm not with you, could you send me some videos doing some stuff? And that's literally how my whole membership site started. Yeah.

So we come from the.

We were having the same experience, same roots.

I love it.

Yeah, I love that. And I hope anyone hearing this is like, you know, sometimes we wait for the nice. I remember, I even remember being like, oh, I want a nice studio. I want the one that's $5,000 a month. That never happened. And I would have been waiting forever and I would have been stuck in a lease. That wasn't good for me because things changed so quick. So I'm so glad that you shared that too. So I know that there was a lot of things that you had to overcome in order to even start thinking that you could be this person who could film videos, I'm sure, who could start this bigger business. So where were you at in your mind at that point when you started filming videos and realized that this could be something that could reach a lot more people? Where were you at mentally?

Before I started, I just had so much fear, you know, I, I was the kind of person, I would always have ideas of like, oh, think that I want to write a book or I want to start a business or do this or that. And I would get so excited and get like a month into it, and then I'd. I'd get scared and I, I wouldn't realize I was scared. Usually I was. I would justify it with like, oh, well, this isn't gonna work or I'm not. But it was really just like fear. Right. So this is gonna, this is gonna sound so cheesy, but I. Before I started my studio, I knew I was gonna get scared in the process, but I. When I made the decision to do it, I made a contract with myself and I'm like, okay, Emily, I. I know you. I know you're going to wimp out, you're going to get a few months in and then you're going to call quits, like right up to the finish line. And so I set an agreement with myself. I kind of like made an inner contract that I was going to set a quit date. So what that meant for me was I was going to do this for one year, just one year. I was going to give it my all for just one year. And at the end of that one year, if it, if I hated it, if it wasn't working, if I'd lost money, I was going to quit. That was my quit date.

And.

And as I thought about it, I realized, like, okay, if I take this year and I blow some money on it and like, don't work full time doing something else at the end of my life, is that one year gonna really make a difference? Like, probably not. Like, I'm not gonna look back like, oh, if I just spent that one year at a desk job, right? Or that one year, right, spend that, like 5 grand or 10 grand, it took me, My God, when you put.

It that way, like, really, that's the best thing I've ever heard. Oh, I wish I would have just spent one more year at my desk.

Job, right on our deathbed, like, oh, that really made the difference. But then I was like, if I take this one year and it works, how big of an impact could that have on the rest of my life and the end of my life? And the reward outweighed the risk, right? That one year of risk, the reward was much stronger. And so I got on board with just this one year idea and, and just put all into it for a year, knowing I didn't have to be scared if it failed because I would just quit after a year and no big deal. And so I did that with the studio and it worked out great. And then when I started my online business, I did the same thing. Like going to go all out for a year, spend all the money I have on this, spend all the time I have on this. And it was, honestly, the only way that I could do it was breaking it down into a one year commitment like that.

In the beginning, we were living parallel lives because I did the exact same thing. I had to set like a out date from my. I had a personal training studio. And so when I had started doing network marketing and some personal development stuff and events, I was like, okay, how do I switch this over? Right? Like, how do I make this other thing bigger? And I had to set. I just set a date, like an end date of, this is what it's.

Going to look like.

This is the amount of money that I need to be making. I remember I hit it and I wasn't making what I needed to yet, so I extended it like another two months. But still I ended up. I ended up at the, at the goal. But I love that.

That's so powerful.

If you don't have one. Right, you're not going to hit anything.

Yeah.

If you don't have some sort of date, you're not going to hit anything. So I love, love, love that. Before we go into the second thing that you really, really switched in order to do this, I want to ask you a question. Like, you know, I'm looking at this beautiful, amazing, confident woman in front of me right now. And, you know, I know that this is not how you popped onto the planet. So. So it's like, I want to know what are three beliefs that you had in your family and in your life that were like, felt very, very ingrained and very much. Maybe you were even convinced or your family convinced you that this is who you were, or this was your genetics, DNA, whatever those beliefs are. What were three beliefs that you had to overcome and change to become the woman that you are now?

I think the first one, I don't think this came from family, but I think it just came from what I saw around me growing up, was that people like me don't go into business. Women are not CEOs and business leaders. You know, And I grew up in the 80s, right. I didn't, I didn't know any female business owners.

Yeah.

You know, unless you get your mba, you're not going to be a business owner. And so for so long, even though I wanted to do it, I couldn't. I didn't have the vision yet of what that would even look like or that that could even be a possibility. So that was a big one to break. I was a horrible student in school. I really.

Like C's and D's. Except gym class.

That was an A. Is it? We're doing gym class.

Gym class.

Yeah. I love it. Yeah. And so I think I always thought it wasn't smart. Just, you know, I grew up thinking I was not smart and was not gonna. Like, if I was gonna do well at something, it would have to be something artistic, maybe, or creative, but not like, something that takes smarts and drive. And as soon as I got into entrepreneurship, I realized, like, when it's something I'm interested in, I go, like, full force, right? And I'm super focused. It's just if I'm not interested in something, then it's not gonna. I'm not gonna excel at it. So that was a big one. I think. I think the last one was. I think I grew up thinking that business and capitalism is greed and it's evil. And, you know, even from the movies we watch, you know, everyone in Wall street is the bad guy. You know, even in Pretty Woman, the guy who wants to buy the other guy's business. Oh, that's bad. They're trying to buy someone else's business. And, you know, so I have a lot to overcome with that. I actually started out in my 20s in fitness and also working in nonprofits. Like, not, you know, nonprofits. Like, that's hard giving. But what I have learned is people in business and the. The successful people that I know are actually the most generous, giving, wonderful people that I know. And that was a huge shift in my.

How did you change that relationship with money? Because, okay, first of all, what is your. What is your view on money right now, and how did you change that relationship?

My view on money right now, I still have a complicated relationship with money. And so over the past few years, as the business has become more successful, I really struggled with that. You know, I deserve this. And so I think what I've landed on with money right now is that it's not about deserving. There are people who do amazing work in this world, and they work their butts off and they don't make a lot of money. And then there are people who maybe don't work as hard or whatever, and they make a ton of money, right? Like, I think money comes if you either for two reasons. Reasons. One, if you take a step to do something that's going to specifically make money, right? With that intention, you're making money. Or two, you're in a situation where you happen to get it. It's not about deserving or not deserving. It's not like a value of, like, oh, I'm valuable. I deserve this. Because so many people with value don't have money. And so that's one thing I think, changing my view around money and capitalism being bad into now realizing that it can do so much good. I think that just really happened by being surrounded by a lot of really great people who were doing great things and doing great things with it. And just seeing a reframe of that.

Yeah, that's, I, that's really same for me. I grew up in a really, really religious family, so it was always money was evil, it was bad. You just needed enough to get by. A lot of the people growing up in my religion, like we were all, you'd all just dedicate your time to going like door to door and preaching. So typically everyone had jobs of nighttime janitor jobs or like things that hardly paid that were like really low paying, bad scheduled jobs. And that's really what I, I thought that was more like the Lord's work, you know, then you can go and serve and do all these things. And the Lord's work didn't pay. And it was, you know, that's like the thought that I had. So it wasn't until I understood I got in rooms with people just like you. I got in the rooms with the people who were doing really big needle moving things with money. Because if there's one thing we were always lacking growing up, it was money. And the congregation was lacking money. And we couldn't help anyone because there wasn't enough money. And the families were suffering because money was needed. And it was like everybody was just struggling to get by. And I think learning that that is not how it has to be. And you know, we can do these really big things in our business to create a lot of impact. And yeah, it was just a huge perspective shift seeing what people were doing with money.

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Did you struggle with that in the beginning? Was it a hard transition into.

Oh, yeah. I. I read. We, Chris and I read together Secrets of the Millionaire Mind every single night for like two years straight. And we did all the quirk. If you guys have not read that book before, you do all these quirky, weird things where you say things out loud at the end of, like, each chapter and it's like, I have a millionaire mind.

We were shouting that.

I feel so bad for the people in the apartment next to us. They're really like, get over it. You're poor.

And so that was.

But like, honestly, this is crazy because after doing that book, we had our first million dollar year after being like $300,000 in debt. So it was like such a. I think when you have a friend or a partner that you can do those things with too, it feels a little easier to do it together. So you guys, if you're not with someone or whatever, you can do this.

With your friend too.

You can do this in a book club. You can do these things if you're both committed. So anyway, okay.

Such a great book. I love it.

Isn't it so good? Like, at first I was like, I don't know, it's kind of weird. And then I was like, look, what's the worst that could happen? Like you can't get more poor. So I was like, all right.

And on the book, that's the big investment.

Exactly, exactly. I'm like, yeah, I already spent this money, so what the heck? Okay, so you worked really hard to change your relationship with fear. And you told me that that was a really big thing that you had to overcome when you were starting your business. And what were some of the things that you, you know, in terms of fear? What were some of the things you were most afraid of happening?

I think a lot of my fears, the, the two big fears were around money, right? Because every business takes some money, right? Or at least an investment of time away from something else that could be making you money. I was so scared of spending the money, and I think I was so scared, I was terrified of doing it. And then people seeing me fail. You know, when I started my first business, I hardly told anyone I was starting it until it came time to really need to advertise it and get some ads in the paper. And stuff like that. But leading up to that, I didn't tell anyone because I'm like, oh, my God, if I fail, I don't want anyone to know. And I remember when one of my friends saw the newspaper article, and she texted me about it. She's like, why didn't you tell me? I'm like, I'm just so scared. I'm just so scared. I have to do this as quietly as I can because I'm so scared. And she sent me a screenshot of a meme. Funny how your whole life can change from, like, one meme, right? But seriously, this meme said fear. The letters in the word fear can either stand for fear everything and run F, E, A, R. Or it can stand for face everything and rise. And I read that, and I'm like, oh, my God, this fear, it's going to be here. But I can either react by running from it or stepping toward it. And so I started experimenting. I really thought about that. I'm like, God, everything I've actually really wanted to do in my life, I've been terrified about it. I've been terrified. And it's been this force field kind of like keeping me from what I really wanted and who I really wanted to be. So I. Again, I make deals with myself all the time. I made another deal with myself that every time I felt scared in that process, I was going to try to move toward the fear and move toward the thing that was making me afraid rather than stepping back from it. And I started doing that step by step. And at first, it was excruciating to move into the fear. And, like, it really did feel like stepping through a force field that was like, trying to kill my body as I did it. But after the first few times of doing that, getting the other side and being like, oh, my God, there was something really great on the other side of that. I started getting really excited by fear. And now when I feel fear, I know, oh, this is because there's something big I'm trying to grow into. You know, it's not. It's not my gut. You know, I always thought it was, like, my gut telling me I shouldn't do it, but now I'm like, no, that's just something that's outside my comfort zone that I'm gonna have to push into, but there's probably something really great on the other side of it. So now when I get scared, I. I try to almost get more excited about it than withdrawn from it.

I love that. I wish I would have Known sooner. Just about how fear is. Like, it's the X that marks the spot to your next revelation for yourself or your business. And I think there was even a time, and I'm sure you remember this, it wasn't that long ago, but just kind of as we got more in with intuition and alignment and spirituality, which is all great things. But in the beginning of it it was, you know, just like at the beginning of everything it was super extreme. And I remember so many people being like, if it's not aligned or it doesn't feel good, don't do it. And I was like, so will, I like watching Netflix and like go on vacation because that doesn't feel good after a while either. So for me it's always the, you know, if they're, I think it's Steven Pressfield's quote that I love. It's, you know, the thing that is most important to your soul's evolution is going to have the most resistance around it. And I'm always like, oh, I know that's what this is. Whether it's a phone call with someone or someone I see. And I'm like, oh, I think I'm supposed to go talk to them. Supposed to go send that email and ask a question or oh my goodness, all of the things. So for you, what has been something recently that you've had to do or maybe it's just in the last couple years that you've had to do to take your business to the next level? That was really uncomfortable.

Yeah. So for the first few years of my business, it grew very, very quickly. But I refused to grow with it. I refused to grow a team. I, for the first several years, still, besides the customer support team which I needed, and my web developer, because I do not have the skill for that, I did everything else and I worked seven days a week, oh my gosh, for years and really blew out my adrenals. I made myself very sick doing that. I lost. I got underweight. You know, it was just really unhealthy. But I could not let it go to someone else. And, and I finally got to the point where I was like, I can't do this anymore. And I knew I needed to start hiring a team and really needed to hire someone to replace myself. And that process was excruciating. Like it should sound fun, like, yay, you hire someone new, teach them and they do it. But like there was so much inner struggle, self worth stuff coming up for me about that. I actually, I hired a coach who was amazing, who works with people on operations, but also their own internal blocks to it. Like, she really gets entrepreneurs. So she was helping me set up SOPs while also counseling me on, like, okay, if I don't work 12 hours a day, am I still worthy as a human being? Like, who am I going to be if I'm not this hard worker all the time? Or, you know, if I hand over this, am I still going to have value in the company? So it was, like, way more of an internal struggle than an actual systematic struggle. And it. It sucked. Like, the first three months I'd get on calls with her, I'd be like, this is the last place I want to be. I hated every second of it and then finally grew into it. Now it's the best thing I've ever done for the business. I love my team. You know, that was.

Do you feel like you found people who do it way better than you, too?

For sure. I found wonderful people. Yeah.

Yeah, that's the best. It's like when. When people are in that position, because, man, I hear that all the time, literally. And I remember what that felt like in certain areas. I've always been pretty good at handling certain things over because I'm like, well, I'm terrible at this, and this is going to take five years if you let me do it. So you do it. But even that, like, the. The trust, like, trusting people and thinking, like, man, if I could just do this, I could do it better. No, you couldn't. You might do it better in five years, but it needs to be done in a day. So, you know, all those things go through when you're. When you're first hiring and scaling. So can you tell me about, you know, in business, I haven't met anyone who hasn't made big mistakes, lost money. Can you tell me about some things that you look back on that were some pretty big mistakes but turned out to be just great lessons?

Yes. So many. Where do I start? I'm thinking back to the very beginning. In the very beginning, I felt like everything counted. Everything had to be a 10. Like, I had to do everything perfectly. And so it slowed me down. It kept me from getting started as quickly as I needed to. I was way too much of a perfectionist, and so I would just stall out on things. And then I found that that started translating into my relationships and my networking relationships where I would. Because I work in affiliate marketing and. And not everyone is going to want to promote for you.

Right.

Or is going to want to work with you. Sometimes there are personality Fits. Or sometimes there's just not a right business match, right? It just. If it didn't work out with someone and they, like, rejected me or didn't want to work with me, I would take it so hard and, like, it would just zap my energy and it would take away all my creativity. And I would just kind of dwell for a while in this place of, like, rejection. And. And then I finally, When I got good at just letting it go and being like, okay, you know what? This person is moving away to make space for something better. Then all of a sudden that better started showing up so much faster. When I wasn't dwelling on the loss or the rejection, when I started, I was like, okay, something better is coming. Then everything just sped up, and then those losses kind of stopped happening. Or maybe I just stopped noticing them because I wasn't fixating on them anymore. So I didn't think I fixated on the wrong things for too long.

That is so good. Oh, my God, it's so hard to not take those things personal. And then you're like, ooh, do they think I'm a bad business person? Or is my product not good? Or, oh, I'm not. Oh, the worthy thing, those, for me, is like, oh, see, I'm still not good enough. Like, and that's the thing that can pop through my head, and it's. Yeah, you are totally right. You cannot move forward, and you can't get the opportunities meant for you. When you're like, see, I'm still not good enough.

That's an energy.

That's like a whole cloud surrounding you.

It is. And the truth is, you know, everyone says, oh, you take so many no's before you get a yes. And that's true. And really, all you need is one yes or a couple once in a while. Those are so much less important.

So you had mentioned, you know, in the beginning, you're like, oh, my business is just. It took off right away. And some people are probably salivating, like, okay, well, mine's, you know, super stuck. What do you think were some of the things that made your business take off?

Well, and I should rephrase that, because my business took off after a year of grinding alone, spending my life savings on it, going from conference to conference, being rejected over and over again, crying in my hotel room every night.

And when you say rejected. Rejected by what? What was it that you were trying to get?

When I first started, I was trying to find, like, media buyers or online advertisers to advertise my program. I Knew I had the program, right? But I'm not an advertiser. I didn't know how to buy the. The media space online. And so you have to. I'd go to these conferences and, like, pitch it. And, like, I've got this program. It can really help people with back pain. It really works. They don't care about that. They want to know how much money it's going to make for them, right? What numbers are. Is it going to hit? And I just. I didn't have any of that data. I didn't have any of that proof. And so it was those kinds of rejections. And I finally just kept showing up conference after conference after conference. And enough people started recognizing me. That one guy finally came up to me. He goes, I feel so sorry for you. I remember what that was like. Like, I'm seeing you here over and over again, getting nowhere. I feel so bad for you. He's like, I'm going to test it for you. I'm going to email this for you to our list. I'm going to test it for you. Just total, like, pity send, right? It's the best.

He's such a sweet guy.

And so that was a year into it, and he emailed for me that one day, and he. I remember I'm walking through Costco with my son in the. In the grocery cart and in my sweats, and I start getting these messages from him on my phone being like, oh, my God, Emily, have you seen how many sales we've made today? This is better than all the big dollar or all the big dog products we promote, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, what? Like, I didn't even know what to do with it. And so then from that moment, then he started telling all his friends, he started introducing me to everyone. So that from that moment on, it was a rocket ship. After a year of nothing, no movement, just worse, worse, worse, going more and more in debt. Then all of a sudden, that one moment and that one guy. And the crazy thing is, before I met him, the night before I met him, I was at a conference in California. I tried to go home a day early. I tried to cancel my flight. I tried to call Delta to leave a day early because I'm like, I'm done. I spent all my money. This is never going anywhere. Wow. Delta would not change my flight. So I stayed that one more day. And that one dude. And then everything else just took off.

Wow.

It's crazy.

I love those stories. I can look back in my journey, too, and be like, wow, it was really those moments, like, right before. Or is this. This ever gonna work or really believing that you were a total failure? Like, yeah, just that. That commitment of you showing up and other people seeing you show up. Like, I know for you too, when you work with people, it's like, you. And when I work with people, I just want to see that they're willing to put the work in. Like, I want to work with those people. I want to work with the ones who show up and who are trying. And yeah, they may not have their thing yet, but they're. Man, they sure are the people who are putting in the time and the effort and doing. Doing the right things. Doing the right things. So what are. Maybe it's two or three things, but some business advice right now, I want maybe something for the beginner. Yeah, let's do this. Let's do some business advice or life advice around just entrepreneurship, whatever that looks like. We'll go something for the beginner, something for the people trapped in Death Valley in the middle, and then the people who kind of like, have a good business but, you know, want to either scale or have a good life or whatever that looks like. So we'll do those. So beginner. Some beginner business advice you would have liked to go back and give yourself.

I mean, just start sooner, but really, I would say start small. Start sooner and start small. Stop letting all of these things be barriers, you know, like, you and I said, like, I can't afford a rent in a fancy studio. Find something small. Start teaching classes in a park and be the best you can be till word spreads and grow from there. Like, break it down into small steps, small commitments, and just go. Just. Just get going. You know, it doesn't have. I mean, people are like, oh, my gosh, you started this business, and you. All these, you know, millions of views and whatever. I filmed all of my sales videos in my own living room on my iPhone. You know, people see us and think, oh, you need so much to do this. You don't. You really don't. You just need to get started. So I think for the beginner, that would be my. My advice for the people in Death.

Valley.

I would say adopt a practice of gratitude at that time. You know, you and I have both experienced so many hard times and so many setbacks that now we look back on, right My back, I'm like, I'm so grateful that happened to me. You. I mean, I hate to make light of this, but my divorce, I'm so grateful that happened to Me, those times felt like the darkest times in my life. And now after going through those, I know now when I'm in those dark death valley moments to stop. And even if you don't know what it's leading to say thank you. Like, I got to the point where I'd be gritting my teeth, I'd be like, thank you, thank you. Like, you know, it's a gift, Right. You just don't know what's in the wrapping yet. You don't know what's inside that box. And so if you can get grateful, that can give you the steam. And frankly, I mean, I am a big believer in manifestation. I think as soon as you shift into gratitude for the gifts, the gifts do start showing up. You don't have to know what they are, but have the gratitude, and they'll show up so much faster.

Oh, that is so good and so true. Really? How? Yeah, that's the only way I've been able to shift out of those moments. And then later, you're like, dang, that was so good.

I look back on those things. That was, like, precious times in my life. Yep. Yeah. I think. I think back to, like, young Emily. I'm like, thank you for going through that. Thank you, universe, for putting me through that fire. So if you're grateful in the fire. Oh, that's power. Like, that's power.

That is. That's the superpower right there. I love that. Okay, let's talk about the person who has the business. They're doing good, but maybe they just kind of want to. They're ready for the next big thing, but they know they're going to have to confront some parts of themselves that can't go with. To this next level.

I think of entrepreneurship. For me, it's a very spiritual experience because it holds up my own shit in my face like nothing else does. Right. And so whenever I'm at those points where I know I'm holding myself back from something more, I try to think of it as a growth opportunity for myself. Like, because sometimes the business growth or the money growth isn't quite enough to motivate. Right. Or it feels like it's too tied to other things.

Yeah.

So I look of it as like, okay, like, how can I. What am I personally? How can I grow from this? And where can I push myself rather than thinking about, like, okay, I need to take this steps to grow the business. I'm like, okay, what am I going to excavate with this next one? And what's going to be under the surface.

Yep. Yeah, I love that because it does get to a place where, you know, for people maybe beginning or middle. This isn't even going to sound like. If someone would have said what I'm about to say, it would have been like, what? Like, wouldn't make any sense. But you. You will probably get to a place where the. The. The money won't be like, just like you said, it won't be motivation enough to, like, kind of. You'll see this next level, but you'll have to tie so much more meaning into why you need to go there. Just like what you mentioned. Like, I am now at a place where I'm like, do I really want to put myself through all that pain? Because I love life.

Yeah.

Like, I can. I can guarantee if you and me sat down, Emily, we'd be like, no, we like our lives. And, you know, we're pretty happy, and we have everything we need and then some. And I don't really have too many other things that are on, like, my wish list at all, so why would I ever do this? And I think that once you start to really understand how amazing it is when you start thinking of entrepreneurship from, like, an evolutionary standpoint of who you're here to become, the people that we get to interact with and the leaders that we get to become, and the things we get to experience and rise above, and it really is these moments of, like, wow, okay, I'm ready for that next feeling of the. Of the human being that I can be and also the impact I can make. And who am I going to become in this process? Because I think that, you know, I mean, I'm in my 40s right now. I can't even imagine who we're going to be when we're 80. Like, because of doing this. Because of doing this, I think we have two ways to age. You know, we could. We can be like, oh, there we go. We're just the middle of our life, and I guess the best is behind us. Or we can keep thinking, you know, what could we become? And what parts of ourselves haven't we even met yet or discovered? So what do you think is waiting for you in your next phase?

This is the thing I never know.

I know I don't either.

It always comes along and surprises me. I will tell you what I'm working on right now as my next phase is, I think another form of evolution sometimes can be learning to not push. Right. Like, there are times when we have to push. And then for me, right now, pushing looks like Learning to not push, learning to. When I hired my team and started handing things over, it was harder for me to learn how to work less and be more present in the moment and be less goal oriented. My goal right now is to not have future goals. It's to learn how to be happy right now. Because I tied so much of my happiness always to a future goal. Future goal, future goal. And then when I kind of hit all the big goals that I had set for myself and I almost went through like a, like a midlife crisis, being like this didn't actually make me any happier. Like the journey was super fulfilling and wonderful, but it wasn't like I hit this point and I'm like, now I'm happy, now I'm good. And so that's why I've been stepping a little bit away from future goals and now just kind of learning how to be happy and present in the moment. That's been my praying.

What is making you super freaking happy right now?

This is going to sound so simple, but it's just being present in my relationships, my kids being as present as I can with my kids because Lord knows I. There were times, many times when I was initially starting the business that they didn't get a lot of my attention and I'd be at their karate practice and I'd be answering emails on my phone, Right. So it's just so much joy to me. The fact that my kids are still young and they're still at home and now I'm in a position where I can actually take a breather before they're gone. It's that it's the presence in my relationships and the time that I'm spending on my health. You know, I've always been very active, but it's always like, okay, gotta get the gym, get that workout in. Now it's like I'm just enjoying nurturing my body, doing things that feel good physically, that's the best.

I literally, don't get me wrong, I'm in that wild dance of like push goals, presence.

If you figure out how to do all of them at the same time, let me know because I kind of have to do one or the other. I don't know.

I. I so feel you. Oh man, it's. But this is the first time in my life I can say in the last year or two. And it's interesting where it came from. It's like, of course I've always wanted to be present, but I was also always pretty happy with like being very goal oriented as well. Happy. Happy as I could be, not realizing the chaos I was putting myself under. But it wasn't until I was almost forced to find joy in something that was already in my life because my business was not working out. It wasn't following the plan that I had planned for it for the last two years. So it was kind of like this.

Not.

Not the whole two years, but, you know, there was a good year in there where, especially during COVID you're trying to create a product and all of the things. So it's like I was forced because I was not finding that normal, like, satisfaction or fulfillment from my business that I normally did. So I was like, oh, my God. I have to really actually figure out all of these other ways to make myself happy, even when this one is the most challenging thing in my life. So it made me just figure it out and slow down. And I can say it was the biggest gift ever of just being like, how can I love this moment and this moment and this moment, even if they're boring or not, what you want to be doing or some of the relationships, you know, maybe in my family, that irritated me before, I'm, like, just learning how it could maybe not irritate me. And what does that look like? And that's been an interesting one, too, right? Like, really changing your perspective. And all of a sudden you're like, wow, I really love them. And this doesn't bother me. But they didn't change. I did.

Oh, talk about coming from a place of power, right? When we can own it shifted ourselves and. And that's real empowerment.

Oh, yeah. Everybody's got to try that one, because it changes your life. Well, Emily, I'm so grateful for you. What?

Is.

Is there any last thing that you feel like you want to share with people?

I would like to share with people the story of how I first learned about you and what you did for my life. Oh, in my life. Because that's. That's why when I said this is a bucklist moment, getting to be on your podcast, it really is. So I. And I. I remember I told you this the first night that we met at that conference when I decided to let my fan girl flag fly. I loved was a few years ago. It was actually. I think it was during the pandemic, when all I was doing was laying around, like, watching YouTube videos on in my bed. Your TED talk popped up. Your TED Talk about how you can turn. How you should turn your struggles into strengths. And. And it resonated so much with me. I loved how you ended it. You were like, things don't happen to you, they happen for you. And I was like, oh, yeah, that's my kind of girl. Like, yeah, it's resonated so much. But your whole TED talk about, you know, using these struggles in life to get stronger, like reps, I really thought about it and I was like, okay, where am I padding my life a little bit? Where am I not getting stronger for my struggles? Where am I kind of putting cushions in so I don't have to really struggle? And where am I holding myself back from getting stronger? And at the time, you know, during the pandemic, I think, I'm sure no one else can relate to this, but I was drinking a lot more than I had. It had become almost a daily thing to drink a glass of wine or two. You know, I wasn't like going overboard. I didn't consider myself an alcoholic. I wasn't like getting drunk every night. But like I was stuck at home and I was having alcohol most days and. And I realized that I was self soothing with it. I was like, okay, this is my padding. This is keeping me from getting stronger. So I decided to go 30 days without alcohol. And every time something would happen that would stress me out, I was dealing with one person in my life who was really stressful and always wanted to pour a glass of wine. Whenever I had to deal with her, I was like, nope, she's not gonna win. I'm like, I almost made it like a competition, right? Like every time I had a dream like, no, I'm stronger than her. She's not going to win and drive me to drink. Yeah, I did this for 30 days and it was so hard. And at the end of the 30 days, I felt like a new woman. And I went back to drinking and I would have a drink and I would instantly feel sick. So I went a few more months, like not drinking. I never, never intended to stop drinking. I was like, you know, I like social drinking, whatever, but my body suddenly couldn't handle it. And about three months into it, I went from a place of feeling like I felt good beforehand to suddenly feeling euphoric just on cloud night. It took three months of no alcohol to get there. But you know how they say everyone has a baseline? Good things happen and bad things happen, but we always come back to the same baseline of happiness. This skyrocketed my baseline. And giving up alcohol things, it takes so much more to get me in the anxiety zone. And it takes very little to get me in a Place of joy and listening. I know that it was taking out that depressant that I was having every day or maybe just once a week. Once a week, if a depressant is enough to mood. And so I know. And no one wants to hear me talk about this. Right. No one wants to give up drinking. But if there's anyone who's been considering it, I never, never expected to have this shift in my mind, and it was because of your TED Talk that I did it. And it's. Honestly, it's the best thing I've ever done in my. In my life. So I'm super grateful for your insight.

Makes me so happy. Like, first of all, I'm so happy just for. You know, I know. I know there's people listening who are either dabbling with it right now as well, and if that's something, you know, when it's calling to you, you know, and I think we all experienced that during COVID and I'm so happy that that's something that propelled so much of how you're where your joy is coming from now. So yay. I love, love, love hearing that. Okay, where can we find you? Follow you. If anybody's listening who has back pain, you have just the most amazing program. So can you share that?

Yes. So I think probably the easiest way to find me on Facebook, just under Emily, like, Emily Lark back to life. You know, Facebook's kind of the easiest way to follow me. You know, if you Google my name, you'll find my website. You know, it's backtolifesystem.com but it's real easy to just find me on Facebook or Google my name.

Yeah.

I also have a lot of videos on Facebook too. Just like free stretches. Showing free stretches. If you don't want to dive into the full program too.

Yeah, you have such an. Such an awesome program. And even just all you entrepreneurs who are out there trying to think of your thing, literally just go check out everything that she's created. It really is amazing. And I love that you are something else that I love is that you are. It's so niche.

Right.

And you've taken one thing. Because as entrepreneurs, what do we want to do? We want to do all the things in all the lanes. And I love how this program has truly been so big for you, and it's been this one thing.

Yes.

You have it dialed in. It's your passion. It's like, I think, think if you guys want to go check it out and really look at it through that lens as well. That is so, so powerful because you all have something like that. So, Emily, I'm so grateful for you coming on the podcast. It's always so much fun just to have the best conversation ever and then also realize I got some content that I don't have to fill. So you guys go find her, follow her. It's always so fun. If you want to show, shoot her a message and let her know the impact that she has made. And Emily, again, so grateful. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone.