@GirlConfident’s Rachel Luna On Practicing Unfiltered Authenticity & Embracing Your Truth

The neural pathways that are associated with pain, physical pain, are the same neural pathways that are associated with rejection. Anytime you get, quote, unquote rejected, your body thinks that you just got punched. Your brain, excuse me, your brain thinks that you just got punched in the head or, you know, punched in the gut. And so that's why rejection hurts so much. Foreign.

Hey, welcome back. I've got a friend of mine on the show today, and she's a very special, incredible friend who's gonna also kick your ass into speaking your truth. And this woman has been in my life for quite a few years now. Oh my gosh, maybe, God, I don't even know. Five, six, maybe more years. And every time I get to see her, which is probably only a couple times a year, but it's typically at events and we don't small talk, we drop right in. What's going on? What you feeling? What are you not saying that you want to be saying, like, that kind of shit where it's like, okay, tell me the real raw truth about what's going on. Because you know why? Rachel knows that when you are yourself and when you truly speak your mind, but do it in a loving way, that you're free. So I'm so excited for you to listen to this podcast because Rachel Luna is the author of one of the most incredible books, you guys, that I think needs to be like, carried in your purse for when you are. For when you're like, oh my God, what am I supposed to do in this situation? What do I say? All of those hard conversations, you're just going to want to access this all the time. So Permission to Offend is an incredible book and she's a highly sought after international speaker and a certified master neuroscience coach to six and seven figure earning entrepreneurs. She was named by Forbes as one of the 11 most inspiring female entrepreneurs to follow on Instagram. And I would have to agree. Rachel calls herself a magnet for miracles because despite losing both her parents to aids, struggling with eating disorders in her teens, and battling alcoholism and depression in her early 20s, Rachel has never allowed herself to be limited by her circumstances. She persevered.

And when she was diagnosed with triple.

Negative breast cancer in the summer of 2019, Rachel tackled it in the same.

Way she does everything else.

With confidence, faith, and love. And let's get ready to fall in love with Rachel Luna. So, you guys, let's start the show. Rachel, I'm so excited to have you back on the podcast.

Thank you for having me back. What an honor.

Oh my God, this is an open door for you, whatever you have, whenever you want, whenever you're bored. Come on.

I'm coming.

I'm on down, you guys. I am, of course, I'm always excited to have you on and always excited to see you, but I am extra, extra excited this time. For those of you watching, I'm going to hold up something that is just near and dear to my heart. I am holding her permission to offend book. And if that title just got you really excited like it does for me, number one, you have to go and get this because it's so good. But number two, we're going to talk all about this today. And I know this podcast is going to be the exact podcast that you have been needing to go to that next place that you want to go to. And Rachel, oh my God, I don't even know where to start. Start with this. So I think. I think the first place I just want to start is, you know, with, with books. Especially whenever people write books, it's kind of like you join this club of other people who have written books because it is a completely different animal. It changes your life, rocks your world. It's one of the biggest challenges I think a human being could ever possibly put themselves through. It's isolating, it's terrifying. It makes you question your self worth multiple times a day. You're exhilar and you cry often in the same hour.

All facts, Lori. All facts. Were you watching me write this book?

No, I just wrote one myself. I just joined the team. So what I wanna know is what about this message was so important that it made you go through that for a year of your life?

Oh, my God. It wasn't just a year of my life, Lori. It was longer than that. And so what about this message was, I pray personally, was so tired of trying to live up to the standards and expectations of other people and always feeling like I wasn't enough. Nothing I did felt good enough. I always felt like I was just below the bar. And even when I would set my own parameters, because I was, I would set the bar, but then I would judge my achievement based on other people's perception. So even if I did hit a home run, like, did they clap loud enough? No, they didn't. So it didn't count. And then I began to see that same concept reflected back to me and my daughters. Not to a big degree, but just. I saw how they would refrain from saying things or even in conversation with me. My. My oldest daughter would start to have a conversation and express herself and then she would stop and say, never mind and get quiet. And as I began to press her, I want, she reflected, your children will talk, man. Listen, little girl, let you know. And she said, you always tell me that I can feel my feelings, but the minute I feel my feelings, you get mad at me. Oh, wow. And that is sobering. And here's the thing. I did not think that I was getting mad at her. I thought I was just being a mom, but the way that she was perceiving it. And I remember saying to her, honey, always speak up, even if you're speaking up to me. Yeah, I might be upset in the moment, but you are safe here. I don't spank my children, although I grew up being spanked, just breaking these generational curses, these generational patterns out here. And I said to her, you are safe. I don't hit you. If you do something that does not fall in line with the standards that we have set in our home, yes, there are going to be consequences, but there are consequences in life. What I promise you is that you are safe. And if you say to me, mommy, I want to say something to you and I just want to be heard and I don't want you to say anything or have any reactions. And if you're going to be mad, be mad at me later, but I need this safe space. And so I realized that no one had taught me that. And by the way, there was no opportunity for me to have that kind of a conversation with my mother in my house. Right? I grew up and I talk about this in the book where children are meant to be seen, not heard. And don't you even think about inserting your opinion or an idea into a conversation where two grownups were speaking. That would be the kiss of death. So I didn't have these experiences growing up and I realized how important they were. Now that's happening on one side, but on a parallel plane. I'm watching my clients not show up, not put their gifts out into the world. I had one client, Lori, you remember I used to have hot pink hair before bc, before cancer. And now I'm all natural and all organic. So we rock with what God gave us. Which is. And so I had a client say to me, I wish I could dye my hair purple the way that yours is pink. And I said, well, why wouldn't you? She said, oh, my mother in law would be so offended. And I thought that that was such a silly, ridiculous idea. And I said, but who cares? Like does she pay your bills? You know she'll be offended and then she'll talk. And I said, so let her talk. Why are you denying your truth? Because of how someone else is going to respond. Because here's the other thing that I learned, Lori, in this pursuit of me trying to live up to the expectation of others, even when I did exactly what they told me to do, they still had an opinion of how it wasn't good enough. Okay, here's a really Apple. I'm going to throw my husband under the bus. But my husband is great. He's a wonderful human being. He's human, I'm human. We all make mistakes. Don't come for my baby. Okay, so my husband and I went through rounds and rounds and rounds of like roles and responsibilities. And I was a nonconformist. Like, I grew up real big time feminist. Like, I am woman, hear me roar. I'm a former Marine. You're not going to keep me barefoot and pregnant, right? I'm going to have and I'm going to hold my weapon. And all the things I wish I knew then what I know now about who I actually wanted to be, as if I had known then who I actually believe that I was created to be. I would have actually been a stay at home mom first and then a career woman. And I know that to be true now because I remember growing up thinking that when I had children, I would be the mom that baked the cupcakes and did the crafts and did all these things. The problem is that I was trying so hard to gain the approval of other people that I had this story that said I have to go out and be this high power career woman and I have to be able to keep a home and I have to. And, and, and, and I didn't allow for space for seasons in my life. This is the season of motherhood, this is the season of career. And by the way, I am not saying that that is universally true for everyone. I am just recognizing that that would have been more correct for me at that time. But so no, I was a non conformist. And I was like, no equal rights. I'm going to cook, you're going to clean, whatever. So he says to me, one day I'll take out the trash, but you need to like line the trash bin, whatever. I put the bag in the bin. He comes and he goes, why do you do it that way? I said, what do you mean why do I do it that way? He's like, you're doing it wrong. I said, well, then you put the damn bag in the trash can. What are we fighting about here? He says you're supposed to do it like this. And he shows me, you know, you're supposed to get the air out and like put half your body into the bin. Honey, I'm 4 11. The bin is as tall as me. If I do it, you're gonna fall in. Right? Here's the thing. That silly little example was a great reminder that even when you do what they ask you to do, they will still find fault, they will still judge you it the action and you still still run the risk of rejection and defamation and the talking about. So if that's the case, why don't you just let them talk about you for being you?

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Oh, that's so good. I can think of so many examples of that. And what's so funny is while I was writing my book, Rachel, I had this moment where I was kind of writing about like it was one of those moments where it was like, you know, free yourself, be yourself, be your authentic self. And I had wanted my septum pierced since I can remember. Like, I wanted one of those cute little rings that I always saw that made girls look so cute, you know. And in the middle of writing my book, because you know how you for every distraction as well, I was like, screw it. Chris was gone. He wasn't home. I had grown up super religious and I knew, like I, I had not done so many things because I knew it would upset my parents and all the people that were around me. And at this point I was probably 36 and I'm like, oh, I'm too old for this. And I was like, screw it. I got up, went to a piercing shop, got it pierced, and I was like, I am going to. It was my practice and my exercise in letting it be okay to have a ton of people not like it. I posted it on Instagram and I had 50, 50 split comments like, oh, this is so unclassy. I thought you were classy. I'm like, this is ins. It was crazy, the split comments, but I truly was in a space where I'm like, I have to go and do something just for me that I know is going to irritate people and see if I can withstand what it feels like to be myself and, like, to truly be myself. And that was such a practice for me. It's funny, I only kept it in for, like, probably a year because I have really bad allergies, and that was a nightmare wiping your nose. But it was the best year of, like, practicing that. So for you, what are some different things that. When you. You know, when you started to realize this? Because this book has been being written your whole life, obviously this really is like a memoir and also the biggest permission slip for all of us. So what were some things that you started practicing with that you can remember when you had this epiphany that you just shared that you started saying, I'm going to start doing things for me, even if they offend people?

Hearing you ask that question just made me want to cry for a second. I don't know why. So interesting. That's an everyday practice for me, you know, every single day. We live in such a time right now where there are so many different ideologies and beliefs, and I'm working on getting comfortable with, like, expressing my beliefs in a way that.

Ooh, that's a hard one.

Yeah, super hard. Super hard. In a way that it's, like, loving and nurturing and compassionate and empathetic for other people, but also recognizing that some of my beliefs are just not there. The antithesis of the beliefs of others. So that part is challenging. But, you know, interestingly, I had a very similar situation while writing this book in that we're looking for distractions. I was not looking for a distraction, okay? My butt was up against the deadline, and I had this intense, intense writer's block. And what I realized was that I was writing the chapter on how to have these uncomfortable, quote, unquote, offensive conversations with the people you love. That's going to happen. And so in the book, I give you very practical steps of if. How do you have these really awful conversations with people that you love without, you know, what about when you. When it's someone whose opinion you do care about? Because it's very easy to say, like, you know what? I don't care what the haters are going to say. Like, they're just people on the Internet. Let them hate. Very different when it's your mother, your sister, your best friend, family. Member your partner. And my husband and I at that time, Matt, we were just not getting along. You. Do you ever go through that with Chris?

Oh, yeah, we have absolutely gone through full on seasons of that.

Yes. Okay. Like we need to talk more about that, by the way. Especially younger women are seem to think that marriage is like this beautiful glow and then the minute it's bad, you should abandon ship and not so. But that's for another day. On this particular day though, I. I really kind of hated my husband. Honestly, I was so over him. I was just like, I just can't. You're the worst. You know, in my mind. Right. Like, I just felt like you're just the worst. In the middle of need. Where are you again? Stories I was telling myself. We talk about the stories that we tell ourselves in the book as well. But I realize there's this one line in the book where I say something like, you know, I didn't want to rock the boat, but I realized that the weight of my silence was actually sinking us. Wow. Yeah. So I realized that the reason I have this intense writer's block is because I'm out of alignment and I'm out of integrity because I gotta have this really uncomfortable conversation with my husband and I'm not doing it. And one thing I'm not is a liar. One thing I'm not is a hypocrite. And so I was so out of alignment with my truth of who I am that I couldn't even write the passage for someone else until I was walking in it fully 100%. So I slam my computer shut, I stand up and I am defiant. And I march over to the office and I thrust his door open and I say, I am having the worst writer's block. And this is the worst time for me to have it because I am on a deadline. And it is because I am not speaking my truth. And there is no, no way I can tell these women to speak their truth if in my own house I can't live my truth. I mean, it was a full on Puerto Rican.

He's like, I was just sitting here.

Okay, is this about the garbage? Is this about the trash bags? I don't even know what it was about. I think it was, we have a journal that we write letters to each other.

I love that.

Yeah, he's awful at it though. Like, I'm the. And so it was like he hadn't written back to me in like three days and I had been writing and then I'd go back into his office and take it and write again. I was like, you don't see me. You don't hear me. You know, I was just like, oh, the drama. I am. And I do not apologize for that. That is part of my genius. It's part of my essence. It's all that makes me wonderful. And also all that helps the people around me grow is dealing with my drama. And I'm actually not that dramatic. But anyway, that moment was so pivotal because it reminded me everything that I teach in this book is connecting to your truth and your identity, your values and your beliefs and speaking up for them, even at the risk of having a very uncomfortable moment. So in that example, where I go to my husband and I say these things like, I'm full on crying now because I feel so hurt that I've been pouring my heart and soul in this journal, and we had this commitment, and you've just ignored me completely, and I don't understand why you've done it. And I need to hear your side because I want to make meaning of what I perceive to be you rejecting me.

Oh, my gosh, this is so interesting, because there's so many things that this can apply to for all of us listening, you know, whether it's. It's like, why am I not getting started on this business or writing this thing? Or probably because there's some open loops in our lives, some things we have not closed or.

Yeah, open loops and a misalignment. Right? So in that case, I was just so out of alignment with my truth. And my truth is that if I feel something or if I have a doubt, I'm going to question it until I have an understanding. And as soon as we had the conversation, by the way, it got ugly in that I was crying, he was crying. It truly was a misunderstanding. My poor husband had not even realized that I was putting the notebook back in this one spot, so he didn't even see it. And here I had made this big old story by the time we spent, about an hour, because that one thing will always bring up another thing, right? So when you start working on uncovering one story, let's say it's something in your business. It's. It's an offer that you want to put out in the world, and for some reason, you're just not doing it. So I might say to you, well, let's journal around it, and I'll give you a journal prompt, and you'll start working through it. But then all of a sudden, you will have one realization that will lead to Another and to another. And then you'll find that there was something even deeper. So the symptom, it's kind of like, you know, not to talk about cancer, but that was part of my life. It's kind of like the tumor wasn't the cancer. Right? The tumor wasn't the problem. The tumor was the manifestation of a systemic problem. So when we have these big emotional moments, these emotional episodes, it's not. It wasn't the journal. It was other things. And then we gave ourselves the space to misunderstand each other and to ask clarifying questions, to hold space, to seek to understand one another instead of fighting to be understood by the other person. And that led to breakthrough. And then that cleared the air. And do you know, Laurie, after that I went back and I finished like three chapters. They just flowed out of me. For our friends that are listening and. And they haven't launched the business or they're holding. They're sitting on an incredible gold mine of an offer or there's some physical product that, you know, you want to develop. Go back and ask the questions. Where am I not fully living and expressing my truth conversations, am I avoiding? Whose approval am I so hell bent on getting? Whose validation am I seeking? So much so that I am afraid, afraid to disappoint them. So I keep disappointing myself.

Oh, my God.

I mean.

And that will clear and lift. And if we think of it as, you know, us being a channel, I really believe that. And when we get. When we get in alignment, when we eat healthy food, when we do the things that we're meant to do, we are so tuned in to the information, the ideas, and the things that we really are desiring. And everything you talk about in your book, the conversations that we need to have, the things that we really need to look at, what are we doing for other people? Like you said, so much people pleasing. When we can start to shed that. It's like all of these things, just. Just like you said, all of a sudden you're writing all of these incredible things and you're feeling great, right? But you have to go and do that hard thing. And. And sometimes I. I'm like, God, why does it have to be this way? Why does it have to be hard? But it's. It's these puzzle pieces. We'd be so bored without it.

And. But you know what's really interesting, Lori, is that it doesn't always have to be hard. And I do not believe that you need to have a breakdown to have a breakthrough. You can get a Breakthrough in five minutes. And it can feel eye opening and fun and like, oh, damn, I didn't even know that that was there. And not everything in life has to be hard. And with that, we have to stop trying to avoid the hard, stop trying to bypass the pain or try to sidestep disappointment. Give yourself permission to feel all of that. Right? Because you might not. You might be afraid of feeling rejection. Oh, can I. Let me tell you why. Rejection. Can I tell you? So this is actually less to do with the rejection and more to do with the way the brain works. The neural pathways that are associated with pain, physical pain, are the same neural pathways that are associated with rejection. Oh. Anytime you get, quote, unquote, rejected, your body thinks that you just got punched. Your brain, excuse me, your brain thinks that you just got punched in the head or, you know, punched in the gut. And so that's why rejection hurts so much. So we think, oh, my gosh, this person rejected us. It hurts so much. And your brain is actually like, oh, my God, we just got punched in the face. Who did it? So one of the things that you can do if you are anticipating the pain of rejection, you're trying to avoid the pain of rejection is a really nice little somatic practice. So touch your hand and just rub it right. What's happening? What are you feeling?

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It's actually, for me, it's like a soothing. Actually like a. I. I don't know. It's getting warm.

Your hand. Touch your hand. It's just a. Yeah. Okay, now tap your leg. What are you feeling there?

Just a. I'm tapping my legion of.

You tapping your leg. Okay, so when anxiety comes in or fear comes in, if you can remember this moment, just say, oh, that's just the sensation of a belief that I have. That's just the sensation of a thought that's coming in. And I can validate or disprove the thought. And I walk you through that. I call it the Framework for Freedom. In the book, it's chapter one. And you can validate or disprove whether or not this fear is rational or irrational, whether if the circumstance is rooted in story or fact. And from there, we can start to metabolize the judgment, the rejection, the pain. All of those things are part of life. It is part of the journey along with failure, disappointment, pain. It doesn't all have to be hard. You know, once you think about when you go to the gym and you're increasing the weight and you first feel that lactic acid burn, you know, it's hard. But doesn't it also feel good? That's what this work is like. Yeah, it's sometimes hard, but, man, it feels good. That burn of truth feels good. That burn of locking into your identity. Oh, my God, Lori. It actually becomes, for me, it's like intoxicating.

Yeah.

The more I get aligned to my truth, I have moments where I'm like, oh, my God, I'm going to pass out right now. I didn't thought that way. I didn't even know that I felt that way. And what will happen when I actually say that? I know for sure someone is going to reject me, but am I willing to be rejected in my truth by someone else? Or am I going to continue rejecting myself?

Oh, God. I mean, only because I've done it enough. At this point, I can't imagine ever going back to not speaking most of my truth. And like I said, always a work in progress. There's some things that still I'm scared shitless of doing or saying to certain groups, you know, but at the same.

Time, I so want to know, when we stop recording, you got to tell me three things. I am the safest space. And this is one thing I like to tell people as well. So, listeners, if you're listening, I'm inviting you right now, slide into my DMs and tell me one to three things that you are like, oh, my God, I'm terrified to admit this. And I promise you, hand on my heart, I'm just going to hold a safe space because I talk about this in the book. Lori. We have to create safe spaces where we are allowed to totally muck it up and 100 get it wrong. That's the only way. The only way. Why, why can't we hold that space for each other to just say some really dumb things out of legitimate ignorance? Not. We're not intentionally hurting anyone. Right. Beliefs that we have, the programming that we have that we're trying to like test it out and see, like, help me understand my own beliefs, you know. Yes. You and I have a shared background of like religion and you know, I'm a God girl. There are still times where I'm like, I don't understand some parts of the Bible, God. Some of these ideas that you put out there, these seem really crazy to me. And I remember when I would try to have these conversation with some Christians are the worst. I mean, I'm a Christian, but like, we're just. We're just the worst. Okay. So I remember I'd try to have these conversations with other Christians and they would get so mad at me and tell like, how dare you question that is the truth and the word of God. And it's like, oh, damn, I'm sorry. You know. Yeah. I'm just trying to understand why I believe what I believe and, and where did it come from? And maybe I need to change my beliefs. And we say see this around race and gender and politics and it's almost as if in my opinion, I'm available to be wrong, but it feels like we're in this season, warped season, in my opinion, where if you are not all the way to one side, you're wrong. Yeah. I am wondering, like, but can I just hang out in the middle and see. See what part of your truth aligns with my truth and some things don't. So we need those safe spaces. And I am. That I am the.

I think the reason that we all feel many of us, I don't want to speak for everyone, but that we feel so just like constipated around everything. And you know when you feel that way, you're blocked, which means you're also blocking these incredible, like you had chatted like you talked about. We're blocking our connection to that thing that I think is always open, which, whatever you believe, God, universe, who is all ideas, who is all access to the knowledge that we need when we are in that place of feeling afraid to express ourselves or ask questions or Let it be okay that you believe one way and it's okay if someone's upset at you if they believe another way. But getting to that place, which is what your book does, like getting to that place where it's okay to not have it be okay with other people. But how do we make it okay within us?

Right?

Like how do we make it okay within us? And I know that you have four parts in your book. So it's. I give myself permission to live in truth, to live in faith, to live in freedom, to live in abundance. You have four things there what kind of brought you to those four things that you're like, okay, if we can just kind of get all of these, we're going to start feeling. What, what do you believe when you start living this way?

You're going to feel freedom, emotional freedom. It is a healing. One thing I know to be very true about why I'm here on this planet is that I am here to heal people. I'm not a doctor or a nurse, but I am here to help heal a soul. And I think that's one of the reasons why I had cancer, was to understand, like healing in all facets and to set people free from the prisons of their mind. I say that all the time. I set you free from the prison of your mind. That is what you will get from this book. And the thing about this book, what I love so much about it, is that it is not a one and done. This is a book that you will return to over and over again because the principles are timeless, the work is evergreen, and as soon as you shift into one area, you will be met with another challenge. And so going back to what I teach you, this book will help you overcome that hurdle. There is a reason why I have clients that have been with me for a decade, not continuously, because I don't believe in codependency. But there's a reason why they come back at every level, from $0 to I have eight figure earning clients, right? Why? And by the way, I don't earn eight figures yet. But why would an eight figure client come to me, someone who's a. Because that's not the they. They have mastered the financial freedom, but there's still some sort of an emotional block. And when they come to me, I help clear that block. Now that's why I wanted to put this all together in a book, because I want, I think that everyone should have access to this. And by the way, if you're listening to this and you're having a Hard time. And, you know, the 20 bucks is a lot, which it is a lot of money. Go to the library, read it at the library, take notes, take pictures, buy a copy with your girlfriend and share it to me. I've already made my money from this book. They paid me to write it. I am more concerned with you doing the work in it. And so why do we have those four areas? So it all begins with truth. We have been living under these veils of truth because as a child, what are you taught? Be kind, be polite. As soon as a kid speaks their mind, what do people. Oh, don't say that. You know, you shut them up. But the kid is just being a kid. Just children will just say what they observe unfiltered. But somewhere along the lines, we learned that you had to be filtered in order to survive society. So my intention is to help you reconnect to your personal truth. That is, what do you value? What do you believe? That what makes you you? When all of the roles and responsibilities that you have taken on or been assigned are completely removed. And I talk about an experience that I had in chapter two, when I lost my hair. And who was I? When everything that I. Not only did I lose my hair, but my reproductive system doesn't work anymore, right? Like, I cannot have children anymore because of the treatment. Everything that quote, unquote, helps you identify as a woman. Well, am I still a woman? Yes, I am. Genetically, biologically. But even if I were not a woman, the one thing still remains is that I am love. I am lovable. I am loving. No one can take that from me. No one can take that essence away. And I think that we spend too much time rolling our eyes at doing this work because it's so intimate, it's so jarring. It feels like a waste of time. And I know this to be true because I used to think that I remember other coaches trying to tell me, like, do you have a gratitude practice? And I'd be like, I'm grateful. Get out of here. Give me some real get out of here business strategy. Show me how to build my business. Right. What I didn't realize, Lori, is that the fastest way to build your business is to build your confidence. How do you build your confidence? By owning your truth, by pulling out the receipts of your truth. Then once you have your truth, which, Lori, you already know your truth, right? Do you have the faith to walk it out? Yes. And also not in some areas. Right. There are some truths that I hold. There are some beliefs that we each hold that we're like, that's what I believe. But I am not saying that out loud. I'm not having these trolls come for me in the comments and zap my energy or whatever, you know. Yes, but there will be something in all of our lives, and I think it'll be multiple things, but there will be at least one thing in our lives, a message that is so undeniably true to our core, such a huge part of our DNA, that it has to be said, it has to be walked out. And when we walk it out, we are going to be judged and rejected and possibly defamed because somebody is not going to be okay with it. Do you have the faith to do that? And I would submit to you if it's something that you've been wanting to say, but not saying, but wanting to say, but not saying, but wanting to say. And you say, find yourself in that tug of war. That is the area that you need to actually double down on your faith and give yourself permission to be misunderstood. Give yourself permission to disappoint others so you stop disappointing yourself. Give yourself permission to be rejected by one section of the world so that you can make the impact and the change and the transformation on the section of the humanity that God appointed to you. Because we all have assignments and then from there that's freedom. Do you know how to actually walk in freedom? So sometimes we have all the tools we can see. We're very resourced, but we haven't accessed our resources. And I would propose to each one of us that we actually are already free. We have all the resources available to us to be free, but we haven't accessed them because we're still continuously telling ourselves these stories, finding ourselves in these patterns and then the finally living in abundance is because I talk to so many people and as soon as they start doing this work, they make it an either or, this or that, this or that, and we can have this and that. And it's safe for you to ask for more than just enough. You've already lived with just enough and you have already discovered that that just enough by societal standards is actually not enough for your truth creating dissonance. And it's okay for you to want more. Wanting more doesn't mean that you're not grateful for what you have. Right? This means you want more and you are worthy of more. So claim own that abundance. It's your birthright.

Oh my God, so much there. So many things came up for me while you were talking, really thinking about the first time I had to Give myself permission. So for the person who. The permission is really real and really scary right now. Like, I can be listening to you and going, oh, God, I want to be free so bad. But if I gave myself permission, it would mean that I would tell my family I don't believe in this religion anymore or feel this way. And I may be dealing with never seeing my family again or maybe having to leave my partner or be rejected by the church or be rejected by everyone and anyone that I've ever known, you know, whatever that truth is that they want to say. So if they're sitting in that position, which a lot of times is kind of the beginning position. Right. Someone I love, something big is going to happen if I say this. So what do we say to those people? Where would you.

The first thing I would say is don't go off the deep end and say this big thing. Neutralize the area first. So I would approach it as, hey, I want to talk about. We'll just use religion because that's the first one I heard. Okay. So I want to talk about your faith and what you believe and why you believe it. Because I think you can sense or tell that. Because they know. Right. They already feel something is off.

Right.

I think you can tell and sense that. For me, I've been struggling in this area and I wonder what does your faith tell you when someone is struggling with belief? Right. That will give you insight to. I can answer this from a Christian perspective, right? Christian perspective. A Bible reading Christian will say, like, well, I would love you just the same. And I would just keep reminding you that Jesus loves you and don't give up, but I would still love you, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right? Yep. So now let's just say it's like Scientology, right. Where they disconnect. And I'm thinking of this because I saw something about Tom Cruise disconnecting from Siri. And that's a real thing, right?

Yeah.

So if. If the response is no, we would have to disconnect, then I would go in and say, that hurts me. And that makes me so scared because I wonder if I ever felt that this wasn't for me. What I have to keep lying to you just part of your life. And would you want that? Because you haven't said. You haven't put your. Put your flag anywhere, but you've already kind of laid the foundation for. I'm afraid that if I don't believe everything you believe to the T, you will disown me and disconnect from me. And I don't want that. I want to be connected to you. I respect your belief, and I want you to continue to have that belief. I'm not trying to change that. I will respect whatever religious practices you want to observe. Can you accept me without that?

Oh, this is so good for anything. Anything that somebody has to say or. Or wants to say. It really is. Like, what is the. And I know you have conversations in here, which is so great, like, oh, my God, I love scripts. Like, you know, when I wrote my book, it was like, scripts for friendship.

Scripts for.

Because when you think about it, when we are even, you know, I really clung onto scripts when I first started doing sales. I was like, I'm not a salesperson. So what do they give you? Oh, sure, anyone can be a salesperson. Follow these scripts. Try it. And then when you hit this, follow this script. We need scripts for life if it's never been modeled to us.

Right?

So that's why I look like. Just me clinging onto that conversation, like, it actually made me want to cry. Because if I would have had that tool when I was younger, I probably wouldn't have been living in the complete daily panic attacks of what will happen if people find out who I really am and how I feel. And, you know, I was in prison for 20 years of my life, so. And what that does to a person and how you think and how you're perceived and all of the things in your health is just not a good thing. And I know that, you know, I know everybody has that version that they're living in a little mini prison right now or a big one, and it's blocking out every reason why you're here, and it's blocking out your relationship to God, to whatever you believe. And it's like, that's the whole point of being here. That's why this book is. You know, when I got on with you, I was like, no, this book, like, needs to be everywhere because we can read all of the other books, but if we don't know how to free ourselves into, like, our truth and learn how to do that into our family and friends, we're never going to get out there and even have to worry about what the other people think.

Because we're not going to get there, right?

So. Oh, my gosh. I just. You know, when you were thinking of permission to offend, some people are like, like, do I just go around offending people? Like, what does this look like when you say that? Tell me what that is.

Okay. Thank you for asking that. Let's be Very clear. This is not a book that is going to teach you to weaponize your words or your beliefs or your faith or your values. That is not this. So when you see the words permission to offend, what I mean is giving yourself permission to stand in your truth, truth according to your beliefs, your values, owning your identity, expressing them fully without attacking or condemning other people for their beliefs. That's the key, right? It's. It's doing this through a lens of compassion and empathy. So recognize that people are offended that you exist. People are offended that you had the audacity to dream, to want to start a business, to want to launch a product, to want to leave the church. Like, people are off offended by all of it. My mom was so offended when I started my business and I would talk about money on social media and she was like, must you broadcast your business and how much you make? I said, yes, I must, as part of. I'm helping people make more money. Like, I gotta talk about the money, you know? But she was offended because she grew up. You don't talk about money. And so recognize that people are going to be offended one way or another. Let them be offended by you owning and walking in the fullness of your true identity, of your true faith, of your true values, your true belief. And also give yourself permission to change and evolve. Beliefs will change over time as you learn new things. I reserve the right to change my mind about a belief or an opinion that I hold. As of today, 2023, when we're recording this, I have beliefs. They might discover something in science, or I might find a new ideology that completely shifts the way that I think I may think differently. I give myself that permission to change my mind, to pick another side.

It's so good because it's. It's who we are as humans, truly. We're always thinking one thing until we get data that shows us the next thing. And, you know, if you would have asked me when I was younger what I believe, your beliefs are very different until you get exposed to something else. Like, you couldn't have rocked me at the age of 13. Literally, I was like, no, this is what I believe. This is what I'll always be. And all of a sudden I go travel somewhere else and go, wait a.

Minute, what is going on over here?

So, yeah, it's beautiful. I think that when we can get to that place of. That was one of my biggest freedoms Rachel was allowing myself to. And this is going to sound silly, but not at all, like, post something one year and the Next year, say something totally different and be like, yeah, remember when I got everyone on board on this idea? Now it's better over here.

Yeah.

The world changes, change. Things change. The way things are, even just in the world changes. So how people perceive things, the way we view things, our health, all the things. So, okay, any last words that you want to leave with everybody?

Buy the book.

Yes, please buy the book.

Buy the book. And really don't just buy the book. Do the work. Do the work in the book. It's. Some of it will be uncomfortable. And as a matter of fact, I like to tell people, if you read this book and you do all of the exercises in the book and you don't feel uncomfortable, at least two or three times, you didn't do the work fully. You stayed on the surface. And I would challenge you to go back because it is meant to go deeper. It is not a fluff book, and it's definitely something that is actually going to help you get to your next level. So go there.

All right, where can we find it? Buy all the things.

Okay, well, first of all, since you're already listening to a podcast, subscribe to mine, also called Permission to Offend. You can get the book on Amazon, Barnes and Noble Books, a million. All the places that books are sold. You can also go check it out at the library. However, if you are a team leader, if you are in a leadership position, you have a mastermind, you're a coach. I highly encourage you to get a copy of this book for every single one of your members. Get a book club together and DM me, because if you have 15 or more people doing a book club and they each have a book, I would be happy to come and speak to your book club because I want to make sure that you, whatever questions come up for you, I want to support you through that. This is my life work. So get a copy for everyone on your team. Do this work together. It will make you all better leaders. It will make you better recruiters for your businesses. I know, like, I work a lot with multilevel marketer direct sales. And when you know how to do this work, that takes away all of that. You ever been part of a team where everyone is just like, it's caddy and it's like. And the energy, the team. You're all supposed to be working together. Yeah. When you do the work in this book, all of that goes to the side because you learn how to build, not apart, looking at each other from your own towers. Right. You build a whole city Together. And I'm at Girl Confidence on Instagram and my website is Rachel Luna dot com. Thank you guys.

Go do all of the things and. And you know, if you're listening to this podcast right now, we always love to see who's listening and hear your biggest takeaways. So give her a tag on Instagram.

Give me a tag.

You know that I share it. And also we're going to do a little race here in a book giveaway. So we're going to do. I'm going to do.

Let's.

I'm going to buy 10 copies so the first 10 people who share the story and share this on Stories. Tag Rachel. Tag myself and say the biggest takeaway from this podcast. I will send you a book. So make sure if you're listening to this right now, go log off screenshot and say your biggest takeaway so that we can send you a book, you guys. And definitely do this because you'd be supporting surprised how many people don't do this. I'm like, guys, I've got some books to give away. Let's do it.

So baffles me.

I know.

I think. Do you know what?

Listen to this. Listen to this, everyone. You're benching yourself before the game even starts because you think that people already won in front of you. And that is the biggest. I'm almost like, that's the biggest loser mentality.

Stop it.

That's a winner's mentality.

You guys.

There are.

Because so many people do that, the ones who decide to do it are typically usually the ones who always win it. So go and do it. Can't wait to send you the book. And Rachel, thank you so much. I'm just, I'm like so excited about it because I myself just started reading it because it's such a good reminder for me. It's such a good refresh. As we all grow in scale. You just, you keep meeting those small parts of yourself over and over that need to be confronted, reparented, all of the things. So this book just does that all in one. So I'm so grateful for you and you guys, everyone. We're so grateful for you always tuning in. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone.

Sam.