Give Yourself Permission To Go BIG | Living Room Session

The more certain you are, the actions you're taking are going to lead to the outcome. The more your energy is aligned with the outcome that you want, the faster the whole world lines up to support that goal.

Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the show. It is, yet again, another living room session.

Some of my favorite episodes, for real, I mean, they're super fun for me because I'm not alone in a room. You know what I'm saying? I am in a live studio audience with my bestie, Lindsay Schwartz, and we are really discussing all the things that we discuss in private when we're together. And I feel like these are the discussions that I want other people to hear. And this episode is brought to you by the studio that we're recording in you guys, the Good Vibe Studio. And it's based in Phoenix, Arizona. It is a production playground. It's women owned. It is the coolest, coolest. And it is a, like I said, a production playground for photographers, content creators, podcasters, filmmakers and all creatives. They have five studio spaces that are available for rent and each one is totally different, so you can have completely different content. And to learn more about the studio and the memberships and even events like we're doing, you can go to the Good Vibe Studios on Instagram or the good vibestudios.com or just click the show notes below. And the topic today is permission to go big. Permission to be the biggest version of you to do the biggest thing, to go fulfill that huge dream. Talk all about how you need to be careful about who you're sharing it with at first.

And we talk a lot about who.

You need, what you need, and the permission that you have to give yourself at first to be play very small in order to be able to play really big.

See what we're talking about?

You're going to want to use this because I know that if you're listening to this, you have a big dream and you know who you came here to be. But you might just need that nudge and that group of friends and we want to be that for you right now. So let's get started.

So tonight we are going to talk about permission. Permission to go big. Does that feel good to you? You're all, like, ready. I literally see, like scratching like, I'm ready. Truly. I look at these faces that are in here and that's all I can see is who you are about to be, which is really, really cool. Who you're about. I can already see who you are and who you're about to be. Which is really exciting. So this conversation for us is near and dear to our hearts because of who we are. To as friends is really. That is my sitting. I was gonna say walking, but my sitting purple. Permission to do whatever the hell I want. Because she reminds me of who I am and what is possible. So that's what we want to instill into you tonight. I also just wanna say that when we started these living room sessions, which are probably the most fun thing we're.

Doing right now, we actually get sad when it's over and when we have to wait a couple weeks for the next one.

Do you want to share how this started?

Well, like most good ideas, I think it started on a walk. Anyone else? Like, take walks with special people in your life, and especially when you have those people that you can dream really big with, there's something about when you add in movement and getting to have some of those conversations. Anyone else? Like a verbal processor, your ideas actually come to life. I learned even from my human design being a generator, that actually my ideas come to life when I get to share them with people. And we just kept asking ourselves the question, what could make business more fun this year? And look, we cannot escape the fact that this is a social media world most of us are living in and content really does matter. And we're not big complainers. Like, we really aren't. It's sort of like, we know we need to do this, but if we're going to do it, how can we make it more fun? And how can we partner with other businesses that we love? And we had this idea over a year ago to do live podcast events. It was a much bigger idea, much bigger vision, and we kept getting in our own way because we thought it had to be this huge over the top thing with a hundred people or more. How many of you right now are not taking action on the vision? Because it's this huge thing and you can't even see the first baby step, right? And I don't know what happened that one day we just said, why? Oh, I do. Because I was at an event here that the Good Vibe Media was hosting. And when we saw the footage, we came back together and said, why don't we just do it small? Why don't we start small and start easy and just keep it fun and intimate? And this is our third. You know, the momentum happens when you're willing to just take that first small step. And it literally is the thing that we look forward to most.

I was reminded today on a podcast I was Interviewing someone. And she was talking about how anything good in any business or any business has always started really small. It's the people who wanna start big that typically then you have a lot more. You have a lot different worries and concerns. Right when you're like, wanna go big from the beginning?

Yes.

That's awesome. And is it because when you start small, you get to try stuff. You have a smaller audience you're failing in front of, who typically is just so grateful to be a part of it that they're like, great. I mean, this is really real stuff. I'm even talking about this with my product right now is we're like, why don't we start with a smaller run so that it's just like, if there's something wrong, we can switch it. And we didn't make so many that now we're stuck with. Or you have this event or this thing that you don't love, or you're halfway into it and you're like, oh, my God, it's just this monster that's out of control. So all good things really, I think, are this beautiful testing ground when you do start smaller. So not only that, we had this moment where we were like, we're never gonna start this if it's gonna be big. Cause I don't have time to do the marketing for something that big right now. And that's probably where a lot of you guys are. You're probably trying to pay your bills, trying to start businesses, trying to grow businesses, trying to raise kids, whatever extra thing in your life, and you're not gonna do it because it's too big. It's too much. But we can do these little things that all of a sudden you start to go, wait, this little thing's growing. And it could replace this other thing. So you can do that natural change out. And so I just hope that for you guys, this can be something that makes you think, what could be that small thing I could enjoy that we could start that could potentially be bigger later?

Which I think it's so perfect. We're actually starting by talking about starting small. Even though the conversation tonight is going to be about giving yourself permission to dream and think really big. Because I think it's important not to confuse the two. Giving yourself permission to go big doesn't mean that big happens overnight. It doesn't. We're still waiting for someone to call and give us our own TV show from seeing the footage from doing these. But at least we're getting practice in that. I'll just keep Saying it, because at some point, I will come one of these. One of these sessions, I'll be like, we got the call. We got it. But we have big dreams like that. Or whether it's something we get to do like that together, or whether it's just getting more reps in so you're ready for the big opportunity when it comes.

I love this natural. Don't you just love, like, when the natural progression of a conversation happens? You're like, we didn't even plan that. But that's where it went. And I think that that's something cool, too, is trusting in the magic. Because right now, that was a perfect segue of, yes, we want to talk about permission to go big, but that means you have to give yourself permission to be really small to start and let that be okay. And to look really small to other people and to be like, that's so cute what you're doing. I love that. And you're like, just wait.

How's your little business?

Just wa.

They're like, come here. I'll tell you how it's going.

We'll talk in five years. I'll tell you how it's going. Okay? No one's from the 80s. I feel like that's like a knuckle sandwich. 80s move.

I got it.

All right, so permission to go big, meaning permission to start small, actually means permission to believe in yourself. And where this topic came from was the other day. Lindsay and I were on a walk. I know this is shocking, where all of our good ideas come from. And I was having one of those moments where I was just needing to vent verbal process and verbal vomit on her for a moment. And I'm trying to. And I talked about this before, but I'm trying to really grow my social media and be consistent with it. Anyone else? Okay. It's like, how do we do these things? Who am I on social? How can I be myself on social? What does this look like? Like, how does this translate? Yes, yes. It's like, how do we actually show up us, but also add bel. It's just a whole thing. So I'm in that right now, working with some different teams and trying to figure out what my content flow is and what this looks like. And I was telling Lindsay that I think I have a discipline problem around it because I'm like, man, the resistance. I don't want to show up for it. I'm skipping some days. It's, like, so fricking challenging. I'm like, I'm so disciplined in certain areas. Of my life. But this one, I just feel like I'm lacking such discipline. And she was like, this is where I call oh wise one. Oh wise one is just kind of like very calm. I'm like, is she bird watching or is she listening? And she just kind of looks at me and she's like, so is it a discipline problem or do you think it's a belief problem? And I was like, I don't know.

How dare you.

She let me know how she had been listening. You'd been listening to Joe Dispenza and he was talking about. And then she throws this at me. She says, well, if it was a discipline problem, like, you know, you're disciplined in your life and all of these things. But if it's a belief problem, if you believed that the things you had on your calendar, if you believed the actions that you had planned would get you the result that you wanted. So if I believed that by me showing up to film those things, that I would gain the followers, the views and the audience and I would get in front of them, would I show up? Of course I would. So is it a discipline problem or was it a belief problem? With the holidays and the new year coming, you probably are looking around your house thinking that you would love to upgrade and freshen up your environment. And there is no easier way to do that than with your window treatments. Don't Nobody covers windows better than blinds.com. blinds.com brings your space to life in your way. They have free design help. Other retailers may claim to have experts, but blinds.com has spent nearly 30 years building an award winning team of over a hundred design consultants that are ready to help you create your dream space. Always convenient, always tailored to you. Three ways to shop 1. Perfect fit Whether you want a DIY, have it all done for you or you're somewhere in between. Choose what works for for you and rest easy knowing the fit is guaranteed. So the holidays come fast you guys, and you can freshen up your window treatments fast as well. And unlike some competitors, the price you see is the price you pay. No hidden fees and there's zero pressure. From blackout in motorized options to classic shutters, blinds.com has window treatments for every room, style and budget, even shades for your outdoor space. The Black Friday deals@blinds.com are going strong all month long, so don't miss your chance to save big. And as always, our listeners still get $50 off when you spend $500 or more. Just use code earn at checkout limited time offer rules and restrictions apply see blinds.com for details. 2026 is the year that you launch your business. It's the year that you've become the boss. You become the leader. That idea that you have that has been eating at you forever that just will not leave you alone is going to come to life. Maybe it's something that someone tells you you should always sell or a store you've already design. And with Shopify, 2026 is when you finally make it happen. Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made this leap from household name to first time business owners. Just getting started, you guys. I use Shopify for glossy and I remember when they sent me my little shopping bag celebrating my 10,000 sales and I literally cried because I was so scared to take the leap. And I'm so glad that I did and that I use Shopify. It gives you all the tools to easily build your dream store. You can choose from hundreds of beautiful templates that you can customize to match. Your brand setup is fast with Shopify's built in AI tools that write product descriptions and headlines and help you edit photos. So marketing is built in too. You can create email and social campaigns that reach customers wherever they scroll. So as you grow, Shopify grows with you. You can handle more orders, expand to new markets and do it all from the same dashboard. In 2026, stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com happy go to shopify.com happy that shopify.com happy hear your first cha thing this new year with Shopify by your side. A belief problem. And I was like, I just left her. I left her on the block like.

Hey, where are you? Where are you going?

I hid behind a bush and I screamed at her.

I'm usually just sharing the things that I just process through for myself. Like I felt really attacked by whatever book I was reading or whatever I was listening to. And then I'm like, I gotta pay this forward to someone. But I was so. It was a combination of something that I had heard Joe Dispenza say about worthiness and belief. And it's like at the point where we stop showing up for ourselves in that moment, there's a disconnect in worthiness. Because if we felt worthy of the result we're working toward, if we felt 100% certain that the actions we were taking were going to lead to the results we wanted, and if those two things weren't Misaligned, we would be consistently showing up for ourselves. And it's funny because, again, this is not me. I'm just the messenger of someone else's message that rocked me in the moment because it's so easy to think I have a time management problem or maybe I just need a better planner. Gosh, if I could just really color code my tasks more.

A drawer of planners.

But it's not. It's usually a lack of certainty. And the way that you speed up how fast you get to your goals is you raise your level of certainty. Because the more certain you are, the actions you're taking are going to lead to the outcome. The more your energy is aligned with the outcome that you want, the faster the whole world lines up to support that goal. And so we've been having a lot of these conversations in our house right now because we're working. Elliot and I are working towards some really big things that it would be so, so easy to see the uncertain view of it. But we were just talking about this today earlier on a podcast, too. We got it. Also, I think the way that I get my mind on board with where I want it to go is I use logic. Anyone else? Like a kind of logical left brain person? Like, I love all the woo, but I've also got. I also have to. I have to, like, explain it to myself.

That's why we work so well together.

It is. Yeah.

Can I borrow that other side for a minute? Thank you.

Only for that. Easy, right? And then I would get all your creative ideas. But to think about, like, when I'm fast forwarding to the future and I'm having feelings of doubt or having feelings of fear or what if this fails? I'm literally just making all of that up. I'm just choosing to make up the worst case scenario. Do you know that your brain might take a little bit more practice, but you can also make up the best case scenario, and one of them will strengthen your certainty muscle, one will weaken it. And so we've even just been playing around with this a lot ourselves. Like, well, why is it that, okay, if a certain number is in my bank account, my nervous system feels more settled than if it's a lower number in the bank account. And it's literally just numbers on a.

Screen, which we've learned could be gone anyway.

Could be gone anyway. So you invested in crypto. But it's been this interesting season where I'm like, how willing am I to be certain, even in the face of evidence to the contrary? Because to the degree that you're willing to be certain that the result you're working toward is going to happen may not happen the way that you think it's going to happen, but the level of certainty ultimately determines how quickly you find yourself at that end result or something better.

You know, I'm thinking of this as how this relates to when we take on some big goals in our life. It's like if we knew the things that we had to do. Like, when you think of that big goal, right? And you kind of look at the things in front of you that you have to do to start inching your way towards that. And a lot of the times, you don't even know what those actions are. So that's the first level of resistance. If we knew, even by being uncomfortable in failing, if somehow tonight we can start to all believe that being a beginner and failing in that stumbling period. I've been talking about it a lot because it's like that period where it's like you're in a dark room, there's no lights on, you don't know where you're going. It's like you feel like you're never gonna make it. It feels like, you know, when you first start a job and you sit there and you're like, am I ever gonna get this? Like, I'm just not understanding it. And if we could just know that that is actually an important piece of the puzzle. Like, that time period is a very important feeling that you must experience to know that you are being a beginner enough to evolve to where you want to go. Without that feeling, you're actually not growing at all. At all. Without that feeling, you're actually not growing to a level in which I know you all want to grow to in here. Because, yeah, you can kind of do like a. As Lindsay says, like a cute quit. You can do a cute grow where you're like, yeah, I'll try that new dance class and stay in the back and do it once. Like, what I was gonna do.

Get the photo. Get the photo, Francis.

And open it up and talk about it on a podcast and be done. But then there's the whole, oh, my God, this lasts for three months. Wait, three months is over. This lasts for six. Are you serious? Oh, this is a year. And I'm still, like, not very good, huh? Like, we have to nor. I think it's so important in this room to normalize feeling like you are flailing about for a longer period of time. And also that habit of being a beginner is the most important habit you'll ever make in your life. The habit of being a beginner is the most important because that means that you are constantly doing new things, trying new things, and getting in spaces where there's new opportunities. So, Linds, for you, where's somewhere that you're. You're flailing, man.

You're just flailing about like this.

Yeah, that's just. I feel like it needs to be cool, though.

It needs to have better, better, better.

It's like, your friend is still pretty.

And they're like, am I ugly right now? They're like, am I ugly? Crying?

Like, no.

So where am I flailing? Well, I'm always flailing to some level in relation to, like, where I see myself in the future, when I look at what I see. And I'm not just talking about, like, physically what I see in the mirror when I. When I think about the version of me that I don't know if anyone else gets this, but, like, I can literally sense this future self that's available. And there's, like, a level of confidence, there's a level of certainty. There's some epic dance moves that I still have not unlocked. I was telling Priscilla, but Elliot said my twerk is getting better. So one of the areas is I've now talked Lori into coming with me, but I'm dancing every single week because I know the value of putting myself in a position where I am a beginner. I feel really uncomfortable. It's something I want to be better at. And I think when you pair that with something physical. So I literally flail about. You've seen it. But I'm.

Now I really haven't. I was shaking my head. I'm so sorry. I was thinking of me.

Oh, you were thinking, wait, I'm sorry. That was me. I was thinking. But I'm four months in, and it's like, I'm starting to feel differently than I did on the first class. Right. I'm starting to learn some of the moves. I'm starting to apparently, like, become a better twerker. And I never thought it was possible. I really didn't think. I thought some people just really weren't meant to. And so I feel really good about that. I feel like right now I'm growing in my leadership. We just hired two amazing new team members for powerhouse women who are in the room tonight. And, you know, like, sometimes I'm like, gosh, what do I know about leadership? Other people? I know how to lead myself and the skills of being an entrepreneur. And just like the I'm just gonna get it done are very different than stepping back or. And allowing other people to now take things and run with them and instead being in charge of the vision. So there's just places where it's requiring me to be a different person, literally think different thoughts, show up and do different things on a daily basis. I mean, I remember the first day where like things were taken off of our plates and I texted Hannah and I was like, so what do I do? I was just, what do I do today, Lori? Wanna see? I know now I'm really good at filling that time. There are other things that I'm doing, but it's that. And then the third one is I'm writing this new book and I am so triggered by the thought of putting it out there for publishers to tell me whether or not it's good enough. I've got a whole plan, of course, but I wasn't expecting. Cause I've gone through the book process once before and I self published and there's this part of me that I've just been meeting myself in the middle where it's like, ooh. There's this part of me that's like, no one's going to tell me whether I'm going to choose myself. And I'm like, well, that's actually not how it works. I mean, I guess I could hand myself a check and say, here's your book advance, but that's not really how it works. And so I'm loving just putting myself in this new scenario purely. And here's maybe something for all of us. I'm literally doing it without attachment to the outcome. I'm doing it to have a new experience and meet something new about myself. Because this book is going to be awesome and I will publish it if I am forced to do it by myself. But what could I learn about myself by going down the road? Especially because it feels so freaking uncomfortable. Anyone else hate the energy exchange of feeling like you're saying, like, choose me, Validate me. Ooh, it's just triggering some interesting things right now. And even in that right, I'm like, please choose me for kickball. No, actually, you just chose me as water girl again. That's. Oh, that's. That's awkward.

Oh my God. Okay. I love this so much. And I was just thinking, it's not failing, it's flailing. So it's a, it's a, it's a period of time where we're just flailing. We're not failing. And it's important how we show up to the flail really like truly. And that is the thing that I want to you just pointed out that's so important is that we all start to learn how to have the conversation with ourselves and figure out how we show up when we're in the discomfort. Because I just had a conversation with someone where I'm trying to really get them on board of something that right now isn't at my final vision, but it's right in the middle. And it's kind of like what we have to do is always remember that everybody that we're around and everyone that seeing us do whatever we're doing in the beginning can't see this vision in our head and can't see who we know we are going to be. But it is our job to start figuring out the hacks and the self support in the community that is going to help us show up as that version in the interim. While everyone is going are you there yet? But tell me something, do you know people who just show up confident and you're like I don't even know what they're selling, but I'm buying. There are so many challenges to business that I don't want starting to be one of them for you. And when you want more. When you're starting a business, you need Northwest Registered Agent because you get access to thousands of free guides, tools and legal forms to help you launch and protect your business and it's all in one place. You can build your complete business identity with Northwest today. Northwest Registered Agent has been helping small business owners and entrepreneurs launch and grow business for nearly 30 years. They're the largest registered agent and LLC service in the US with over 1500 corporate guides. Real people who know your local laws and can help you and your business every step of the way. You can sign up for free account to begin managing your business hub with lawyer, drafted operating agreements, bylaws, resolutions, membership certificates, bills of sale and more at no cost. Northwest makes life easy for business owners. They don't just help you form your business, they give you the free tools you need after you form it. Like operating agreements, meeting minutes and thousands of how to guides that explain the complicated ins and outs of running a business. And let me tell you, this is life changing because I had no idea how much went into this. So don't wait, protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business Identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes. Visit www.northwestregisteredagent.com Earn free and start building Something amazing. Get more with Northwest registered agent at www.northwestregisteredagent.com forward/earfree. Too many people finish their workday feeling frustrated, drained and unfulfilled. I know that. Experienced that myself. And the good news is it doesn't have to be this way. And you don't need a new job to fix it. Patrick Lencioni, author of the Five Dysfunctions of a Team and more than a dozen other bestsellers, created the working genius assessment to help you pinpoint the kind of work that gives you energy, the kind that lights you up, and it also shares the kind that drains it. So over a million people, including me, have taken it and completely changed how I lead and show up up every day. If you're a CEO, an entrepreneur, or someone who just wants to level up in business and in life, Working genius is going to give you the clarity and confidence to operate in your strengths and find greater joy in what you do. Because confidence isn't pretending to be good at everything. It's knowing where you're truly gifted. Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code earn@working genius.com. that's working genius dot com. You'll be glad you did it. They don't even have anything to sell yet. But you're like when you. I've literally said this to people. When you have something to sell, tell me, I will buy it. I've said that. Or when you raise money for this thing that you just told me that I don't even think I need it, let me know. Cause I will invest in you. Because of how they're showing up in the flail. I don't know. You guys are only gonna know what that means.

It's gonna be an inside joke.

Only if you got to see the video. It's reminding me a little bit of flair when I worked at TGI Fridays. Yes I got really we could go.

Down a whole rabbit hole.

We're gonna leave that right there. We can talk about it later. But I wanna talk about some hacks. Cause I know that that just brought up some things that I have done to show up more confident in. Things that I literally had zero confidence around. In fact insane self doubt around. And I have some hacks that I wanna share. Do you have anything that came up for you around let's say even when you first launched your event or when you first and you had to get people there when you first are. I don't know. Tell me some anything come up.

Isn't it so funny like, when I even try to think back to that, I'm like, oh, I had no hacks. But you know what I did have, and you pointed this out, and I think this part is so critical, is when I was saying about how we can. We can obsess over and make up the future vision that either empowers us or doesn't, but that all comes back to your vision. And I think it's so important to realize, like, especially when I remember putting on this first event, and I had the vision for it, but no one else could see it yet because it was. It still hadn't happened. I know Jenna feels me in the room. She's doing her first event in a couple of weeks. And, you know, especially when you're. You're sharing the vision for something that has never happened yet. You don't have the videos, you don't have, like, the proof or the testimonials to say, like, this was legit. You've got to come. And I just remember knowing there was something in me that just knew it was supposed to happen. And I really trusted that maybe more than this is actually past me speaking life into current me, because I do think as the vision has gotten bigger, I'm more likely to doubt it because I'm like, ooh, that's getting pretty. That's, like, a place I've never been before. And I think there was enough belief in me that knew, okay, I've got what it takes to make this part of the vision come true. And it's important to remember that no one else can see what you can see, especially when you're working on a vision that you don't have the proof for yet. I do think, number one, it's important to really guard who you share that with, because it's easiest to kill a big idea when it's this, like, teeny, tiny little seed versus, like, if someone came along now and was like, you're full of it. Powerhouse women sucks. I'd be like, thank you.

They don't think so.

Give them a little wave. And I'd be like, well, that's. That's sad. I'm sad for you. Do you need a hug? But in the beginning, that might have actually stopped me. That might have actually talked. If it came from the right person at the wrong time, that could have actually stopped me. So I think it's remembering. If you have a vision, it was given to you for a reason to steward that vision. You can see something that no one else can see. And when I went Back to that. And there's usually a part of it that feels really exciting. It feels scary. But it also is like, that part that's like, this could be really cool. And I just really nurtured that part that was like, this could be really cool. What if we did this? And when I shared from that place, it gave me just that extra dose of boldness. It gave me that extra dose of courage. And then the next day, I would be, like, crying on the floor, no clue what I was doing at all. But in the moments that I went back to the vision, like, why did I start this in the first place? I kept a close circle, like, who I actually shared it with. I only shared it when it felt really safe to do so, where I knew that someone could hold space for that vision, and they weren't going to try to talk me out of it or try to talk it into a smaller vision. But, you know, there is. There's this moment where it's like, you're never going to feel ready. You just got to leap. And I was saying this on a podcast Elliot and I recorded today. I like to use this. I like to use this analogy, having never skydived, never planned to. Okay. But I'm going to use an analogy right now. So when I watch videos of other people skydiving, there's this moment where there's enough faith. You have enough faith in the parachute that you jump out of the plane. How many of you have gone skydiving? Okay, so you can tell me if this is, like, bullshit or if it's true. Like, I don't know, it sounds good to me. But there's this free fall between when you jump and when the parachute catches you, when you get, like, that certainty that says, like, no, you're not going to die. Something in you, there's got to be a moment. You don't jump unless you trust that the parachute is going to open. And I think it's the same parallel in our businesses. You don't jump and take the step toward that next idea unless you trust at some level that even if the idea doesn't work out, you're going to be okay and you're going to thrive on the other side of it. And that is one of the most valuable muscles that we can build as entrepreneurs. And you know how you do it? By doing the small things and keeping small promises to yourself over and over and over. Because the more I started to keep the small promises, like, I'm going to post today, I'm gonna message two people about my event. I started to trust myself with bigger promises. Does that make sense? So I didn't have a lot of trust in myself because for years I was doing the cute quit thing where I was like, it's just not like a really good season for me to be brave and bold and, like, do all these things. But, like, maybe next month, that would be a better time. So I had to build it over time.

Mm. So good. You know, it's making me think about how important that is, what you said around having to know that you're gonna be okay. And so I think something we can all do right now is, well, first of all, I wanna see who in the room has something that's pretty big that they.

They want to do take on.

I love this room. This is amazing. Okay, everyone, great. For those of you who couldn't see on the podcast, everyone, okay? And. And this is just an exercise that you have to do. And we have to do the full. We're going to do like the full 360 of all of our options, right? Of everything that we have on the table right now. So if you decide to go down this journey of going for this big idea and this big dream, this big first big dream that you have, it may fail. And that has to be something that you need to accept. You could, let's just say, like, worst case scenario, you could get partners, you could disappoint them. They could think that you weren't ready for it and you talked a big game and you weren't. You couldn't figure it out, okay? Happens every day. Happens every day to men, happens every day to women. They could invest in you. You could lose a ton of money. Okay? Happens to 99% of businesses. Okay, Everybody understanding this. And what can happen is you can disappoint people, you can lose money. The idea could turn out to be really stupid, but in the beginning, seem pretty good, and you could lose all of that and fail, and you would still be more investible the second time around than the person who hasn't done it yet. Do you get this? If you show back up again, you are still more investable. In fact, the people who have already done it are way more invested in you now and proud. They're like, okay, so now you see how this works. So now you saw where you went wrong. So now you understand that that business that you thought was good at first, that there wasn't enough margins, or that you needed certain things, or that you had to put too much money into your attorneys or that you had, like, these are things you don't know until you know. And so you know, we've invested into people who've had many failed businesses. In fact, some of the best entrepreneurs out there have lost millions and millions of dollars. And that's just things you don't see. That's why it's so important to read people's biographies and actually not just look at the highlight reel is because they have gone through what you're afraid to go through in public and they've already gone through that. It's just not talked about. Cause they got back up again. And so I was recently in a room where, you know, I'm doing a major pivot in my company right now, which you'll all know about probably in the next few weeks. And I was in a room where I just shared everything. It was one of those safe rooms. And I was like, this is where I'm at. This is where I have to go. This is what I'm afraid of. These are my worst nightmares. These are the things that I'm so upset about. And they were like, so all the normal stuff. And I had quite a few people come up to me who I'm like, picture your biggest mentors in the world. And they said, we're more proud of you now because you went through that.

And you know more.

And we're more proud of you for your pivot. And this idea is the idea. And I was like, oh. And they're like, but you can't get there until you did the first thing and now you're here. And no one's gonna understand that until they see the fruits or they see something happening. But this is where you all have to go with your vision. Because I know you all have this thing. And you're like, no, it's the reason I'm on the planet.

And it's like, might not be.

It might not be at all like. But you're not gonna get the other reason till you go through with the first reason. Cause this is meant to bring you through a journey to become a different human being. And also to know like, guys, ideas aren't just like a one time thing. When you decide to commit to one, the universe opens up and goes, oh, this person can be trusted with ideas. Oh, this person is a good steward of ideas. This bitch ain't gonna give up when the first thing gets hard.

You know, look at her.

She failed and she's still trying.

Yeah, let's give her some more. This is fun. Let's watch her Flail. But that's really how it works. It's like, so, I mean, I don't know what you believe in or what you care to believe in, but I really, really. There's even theories on it actually. Like, Plato has different theories on it. It's like all of these ideas are looking for people to bring them to life because they're going to come to life. There are ideas for certain times on the planet. Like, these are real theories from very smart people. There are times in the planet where the world needs certain ideas. So they're all up in this cloud, in this atmosphere, and they're all searching for who is going to bring them to life. Except all of us are down here. Like, I'm too scared what people think of me. And I'm not sure if that's the right idea or I need this big idea or whatever it is. And it's like, if we could understand that we just need to go and get these ideas out in the world and the ideas will also take care of us. So there were definitely times where I'm like, oh, my God, this was the worst. No one's gonna trust me again. Blah, blah. Just all the stories that you go down the worst rabbit hole ever, right? Who's done it? No, you are more desired, more trustworthy, more likable. People are gonna want to just get on board with what you're doing. If you keep showing up and proving, hey, you know what, maybe this didn't work, but I'm gonna pivot now. Hey, this idea, it's not going super well. So instead of like saying, I'm dying for this idea, what else could we do? Who can I get on board? Who do I need? So what I want you guys to do, when you think about your idea and you're afraid to do it, you gotta stop being afraid and just know that the idea will take care of you. There's gonna be some really hard stuff. But the forward movement and the showing up as, like, allowing to be the steward of the ideas, what is going to make you rich in ideas? I do believe that I don't care what time it is on the world, meaning a bad time, a good time, people are thriving, there's no money. There's tons of money, by the way. There's always money. It's just somewhere that we don't know. But I think the more right, we're like, where is it? Where is it?

Just keeping it in other people's bank accounts. It hasn't made its way to yours yet.

We're just asking the wrong question. But the ones who show up consistently, right, Those are the people who are gonna get all the ideas. We're sitting on one little idea. And the ones who are like, oh, that failed, that failed, that failed. It's like having to go through all the no's to get to the yeses. That's all these ideas are.

God, I forgot I was part of this podcast. And I was. So I was just like, when you. Yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, you're looking at me now. We're back.

So, you know, you know what? I wanna think of something for? Like, I wanna leave you guys with something. I want Linds to maybe think of some during this too. Cause I feel like you do these. I have something when I don't know what to say or I feel kind of foolish, but you have to get your idea out there. You have to pitch it or you have to get people on board. I have something that I randomly started calling freedom phrases. It was things that freed me up to speak freely and share my ideas with people without feeling stupid.

Right?

Because if you guys all shared your ideas with the people who actually could help you move them forward, you would get your ideas out into the world because they want to help you. But what happens is we're sharing our ideas with, like, our friend who were like, what do you think? Bad or good? Not sure. Instead of the people who are like, oh, yeah, I've got a friend. I'm going to connect to you right now. They produce the thing that you're thinking about. Or you could go get a meeting with this person. They would love to look at your stuff. Like, we're actually not speaking it because we're afraid that that could happen. Right? And you're like, oh, shit, I'm not ready. Of course you're not ready. You're not supposed to be ready. Like, the people you're gonna talk to know you're green. They know you're new, and they can't wait to help you. By the way, I'm learning that these people literally can't wait to help you. Cause they're bored and they wanna give back. And they love the beginning. They love the beginning.

And a lot of them are rich, too. I just had a start speaking it out there.

I have a friend right now who had started a an insane company. He's amazing. And I was asking him questions and I was like, thank you so much for taking the time to ask my question, answer my questions. And he wrote me back. He's like, I'm your board member. B O R E D. I'm your board member. Please ask me everything every day. I'm not kidding you. And he was like, we just, you know, once you grow it, you're in the hustle and the beginning and the fun and the excitement, and that goes away. So the new energy is so much fun. So they may not tell you that right away, but that is the truth. And I love when people come and ask me. And Lindsay loves it, too. But back to freedom phrases. You know, when I was first raising money, let's really just be so. Like, let's make this so possible for you. I haven't graduated from high school. I'm terrible with math. And that's okay. I have a calculator. So I'm not speaking like I'm terrible at math. I'm good with it, guys. I'm great. I've done okay. And I. Raising money, I was like, how are people? Like, what am I gonna do? What do I do? Do I say, this conversation is going to throw me for a loop. I'm going to sound so stupid. They're going to ask me a numbers question. I'm not going to know. So I just came up with phrases like in the beginning where I'd say, hey, I'm totally new at this. I'm probably going to. This is like my first phone call, right, to raise money. Like, I finally get someone on the phone, I'm probably not going to be able to answer 90% of your questions. So just give me all of your questions. I'll answer what I can today, and then I'm going to get you your answers tomorrow. So I started doing that, and probably by the 10th call, I was like, holy shit. I'm answering majority of these questions. And the freedom phrase allowed me to fail. It allowed me to be like, I'm so new at this, but I have my attorney who I can ask, or I have, you know, this person who I can ask, and we'll figure this out. And people didn't care that I didn't know their answers. Do you know what they cared about? That I was gonna find their answers, That I found it timely. Cause that's what they want in a founder. And that I kept going back to the vision and that I just kept saying, I'm gonna do what it takes. I'm gonna do what it takes. Whatever this looks like, I'm just gonna figure it out and do what it takes. And that is why after every phone call, they said, that's why I invested in you not because you didn't know 90% of my answer. What do you need to say to free yourself? The other thing that I say real quick is stupid idea time. Because if I have an idea, and especially if it's with someone that I really admire as well, we're kind of like, you have these great ideas, but you don't say them right. And you're like, what I do is, if I've got it, I'm like, okay, stupid idea time. And they're like, great, bring it. And if it's stupid, great, I told them it was going to be. Sometimes I make that joke. I'm like, told you it was stupid. Okay, let's try another one. And those are two things that get me through everything. And it kind of makes you like them, right? You're like, oh, okay, I like this person. Like, they're willing to. They're willing, they're willing. Who doesn't love that? Even if the person is new when you meet them, they're just willing. That's all I ever want out of people, is, could you just be willing? Like, just be open and willing to fail? That is when you fall in love.

With people and it's like giving ourselves. I guess this is all about permission, right? I think it's so easy to say, like, give yourself permission to fail. But we don't think about, like, what does that actually look like? Like, what. What is registering as potential failure for you? So you're not doing it, but it could be. It could feel like failure to share your ideas and have someone shoot it down. Maybe that's the thing you're most afraid of. So how can you go and do that this week with the intention of, like, okay, these people were saying, if I just fail more, if I get more ideas out there, I'm going to move forward faster. Where right now are you afraid to fail? And what is your failure that you're afraid of? Is it afraid someone's going to tell you no, or someone's going to look down on you? Someone's going to say, no, I don't want to work with you, whatever that is. And realize that it's not just the big failures we need to give ourselves permission for. It's really like those small attempts that I like to think of it as a failure to meet the expectation I had. I went into this phone call, really wanted, expected I was going to get the result I want. I failed to meet that expectation. I'm not a failure that just didn't go the way that I Wanted. And it's easy to sit and say that, but when you're in it, like, when you're actually doing it, it is scary. And I remember seeing you go through that and watching Elliot go through it right now with his new project, and watching people who are such a success in their life go to bat again and again and again, risking failure. You realize that anyone you look up to, anyone who's doing something that is legit, and you look up to it and it inspires you, they're doing that more times than maybe you are. And that's it. That's the only difference. It's such. I mean, it is freedom. But then on the other side of that, you have to be responsible to look yourself in the mirror and kind of go, all right, where is it my turn to do that? To get up and fail more?

And the journey, really, it's so crazy because you're gonna experience things that you think are so isolated to you. Meaning maybe you start emailing, you're like, I'm gonna be brave tomorrow. And you guys all start emailing and you don't get any emails back. And you did like, 20 emails. Yeah. Welcome to talking to busy people. And you're gonna sit and question. Maybe it's your one email to that one big person that you wanna talk to or podcast pitch or a business or whatever. You'll have one where you're like, oh, my God, I was overly confident in that. They think I'm an idiot. They think I'm stupid now. They're never emailing me back. No, that person actually is just never getting back to their email. Cause ask my husband, Chris, how often. Where is he? How often does he get back to his email? Not very often. Like, someone else has to check it. That is just where people are. And imagine if they're crazy success, successful people. It's like, it's not you. Except in the beginning, you have time. There. There comes to be the spot where you just don't have time to worry because you're. You're in all the things. But in the beginning, you're kind of like you're making that one email the biggest thing. And to the person that you're emailing, it is like. It is literally like a piece of sand on the floor that they're never gonna. They're not thinking about you. They didn't even have, like, they didn't even have a little fart over you. Like, they're. They're not.

Not a one. Not a one.

They're not in their Realm of perception, like, at all. And I'm not saying that's bad.

I'm saying that's great news. That's permission.

It is so much permission. But it's also. It's like, okay, well, your one email that you're so stressed out about, and you're like, okay, next month I'll follow up. No, they're not seeing it. So what does that mean? Like, just know if they haven't emailed back, it was either seen and marked on red. Like, oh, maybe someday I'll get back to that. Or they're not seeing it at all. So while you're stressing going, I'm so dumb. I can't believe I did this. I'm an idiot. Oh, my God. They're not seeing it. And you need to be emailing every other day, right. If it's important. Or once a week in order to even be seen. Or making sure that you're showing up on all of these different channels so that maybe when they see your name in their inbox, they actually answer it. And so the tries that people are giving, if I'm being super honest, are really small, and they're never gonna happen. So I almost wanna say, if you're that person who's batting once a week, just stop altogether. Like, I'm being real. Because once a week ain't gonna get you anywhere but Paynesville. You're gonna make up all the stories. You're gonna be like, why not me? Because you're terrible at getting seen. And so, like, getting out there more and more and more and letting it be okay, person, here's what has now worked for me, okay? I have two options when I send this email. They could sit and go, this girl's an idiot. She has no idea what business is. Like, like, yeah, she sounds way too. Maybe it was way too confident. Because, of course, when you pitch, you want to sound more confident than not confident, right? And so, yeah, could they think that?

Sure.

Does it change your life at all? Not at all. If anything, they'll be like, oh, there's the overly confident girl.

There's. They could say words. Exactly.

Would you rather have that? Or there's the girl. I have no fricking clue who that is. So they don't even look your way. It's like, I'm gonna. The girl who's overly confident is still gonna get my attention. And then at least if I meet her, I can be like, okay, she's an amazing person. She just really wanted to get in my inbox or whatever. That looks like. So it's better to do more than to just not at all, obviously respect them if they're like, hey, I'm gonna give you a restraining order. Stop.

Right, Stop. Someone serves you with papers, maybe back off a bit. Maybe back up a bit.

Yes. Or like a really big don't ever email me again or something like that. Then, you know, maybe search other modalities.

But, like, Lori told me to be persistent.

Truly. Yeah.

Don't blame.

Don't bring this back to me. Okay. But anyhow, actually, it wouldn't be terrible, but. So any last kind of permission for people that's on your heart.

I feel like this was a reminder for me. And this is the other thing that hopefully you all get. Whenever you listen to either one of our podcasts, we're talking about stuff that, like, we're in ourselves. We're not the overly confident girls right now. It's not like we don't still have days where I'm like, shoot, I'm really not always living up to this. I'm not always bringing my most confident, most willing to fail self to the table. So it really is. It's not this standard of perfection. Like, one day you wake up and you're just unstuck, unstoppable. It's every day waking up and going, okay, how can I show up as that version of myself today? And, you know, you'll get to a point where you're doing some pretty stretchy things that the future version of you is just going to require, like, a really big. A really big leap of faith, you know, without the parachute and all that stuff. Skydiving reference, insert it here. It's just going to require that. And I. I was saying just recently, I don't know that I've been as uncomfortable or felt as uncomfortable as the very first really big leap. When I was writing that first book, I shared a little bit of that story in the last episode that just. We aired it this week, and I realized I've got to go in search of it because it was clear to me that I was ready for it. But I don't want to get it to the point where before I literally had to do that big thing or I was just going to quit. I was like, look, I'm either about this or I'm not, and I don't want to get to that point again. So it's really looking at, what does that look like in this season? What is the leap that I'm taking out of the philosophical airplane again, to be Clear. Not the real airplane with the parachute, not without it. But where's that? Next place that I know I'm being called to lean into something really uncomfortable. And I do know what it is. It's not something I'm sharing with the world yet, but I know what it is. And, yeah, it's stretchy. It's making me think and operate completely differently. It's making me wonder if I am cut out for it. It's one of the most expansive things that I will ever do, and there's a lot I can't control about it. So, you know, it's like, it's the reminder for me, and hopefully you all are taking this away, too, that that is what it feels like. That's how you know you're playing big. Is when you feel that way a good 90, 95% of the time.

Oh, man. So good. And that just, you know, reminded me to take home. Action truly does trump learning, because you learn in the action. So if you're. I know I'm speaking to everyone in here. You guys are learners. You listen to podcasts, you read books, do all the things. Nikki, this was a great reminder from you. Taking action. Taking action is gonna be the thing that's gonna get you somewhere. Because sometimes we sit and go, maybe I need more learning. No, the action will show you what you need, and it'll teach you what you need. And through, like, maybe someone says yes to the thing that you're not sure on that you wanted to take that extra course on. Trust me, when someone says yes to you and you are not ready, you figure it out about 10 million times faster than you would have ever, ever learned it. Because how do you learn how to swim, right? You go in the pool. You don't read about it. So how does Lindsay really experience skydiving? She goes, but you're actually pretty.

I don't need. I don't need to learn that lesson.

She doesn't need to learn it. She doesn't need to learn it, Sam.