How I Went from Paralyzing Social Anxiety to Speaking on Stage to 15,000 People

I want people to know just how bad it was. And also that now I've gotten on stages and spoken in front of 15,000 people. How does that happen? Right? And it's years and years and years of not hoping this fear goes away or thinking it's going to go away. And by the way, it still is not gone. Now I don't get those experiences in small groups, but I still feel like I'm having a fricking heart attack before I go and speak to, you know, 3,000 5,500 people. I just have the tools now to get through it. But how did it start? Hey everyone, welcome back to the earn your happy podcast.

It's time for another quickie because there's.

Always time to fit in inspiration. And we are in the fourth quarter of of the year, you guys, before 2025, like, I feel like we should have flying cars right now. Like the Jetsons. 2025. How did this happen? It just makes me like so aware that I want to be present in my life because it flies, it goes so incredibly fast. So I'm so grateful for you. I'm so grateful for you tuning in. I hope that starting to roll into this holiday season already are looking forward to your Hallmark movies and time with friends and family. Chris, literally, we just got back from a walk, it's 7:30 at night and he was like, could we please watch a Hallmark movie? I'm like, how did I get so lucky? Maybe don't tell him I said that. But you guys, I want to remind you that if you have not tried Glosy yet, if you're going to roll into these holiday seasons feeling good, I'm telling you, take a glossy in the morning and a glossy at night. Not only are you going to be more hydrated so you can help keep your appetite kind of at bay. I don't know about you, but there's just so many things to eat and drink that when you're not hydrated, like your appetite goes up. And when you're drinking enough water and when you're getting your nutrients, that helps suppress your appetite. So guys, for anything else, like go grab your glossy 25% off@getglosi.com. keep it hydrated, ladies. All right, so I was on a podcast this morning and it was an in studio podcast. There's a cool studio here in Orange county where I live. And one of my friends, Kayla Craft, connected me with another woman, Bree Groves, who is. She had never done an in person podcast. She's had her podcast a while, but she's turning it now into in person, which is kind of the way things are moving, right, because everybody wants to see video now. It helps your podcast grow as well. But I got to be on her podcast today, and she was asking me. She said she works with a lot of, like, people who aren't entrepreneurs yet or beginner entrepreneurs, and she was really asking a lot of questions around fear because she knows her audience is in a place where, you know, they're like, in that pre moment, like the pre game, they're nervous, they're afraid of all the things. Like, they haven't taken the big leap yet. So all of their biggest worries are, like, right there. And they don't have the experience to know that hardly any of those happen. And so we really dug into fear, and she asked me the question. She said, you know, how do you start getting over fear for people who are just completely paralyzed with fear? And I told the story about how I used to have anxiety and panic attacks, like, massive anxiety and panic attacks. And I went from someone who could hardly go to dinner with my husband and a couple different couples where I'd have to literally drink. I told this on there. I'd have to drink, like, three beers before I could even go, because that's how much social anxiety I had. Like, it would get to a point where I had trouble breathing if the attention would be put on me because I just wanted to shut down. Now we can talk about childhood trauma later. And how whenever I felt like attention was on me, it was negative because there were times where it was very negative in front of a whole congregation of people where I. I essentially had some major traumatic experiences happen, and that brought that into my life. But doesn't matter how we got there for this podcast. What matters is how I started to deal with it. And so I was telling her about this, and I was. Well, I was telling the audience about it because I want people to know just how bad it was. And also that now I've gotten on stages and spoken in front of 15,000 people. How does that happen? Right? And it's years and years and years of not hoping this fear goes away or thinking it's gonn go away. And by the way, it still is not gone. Now, I don't get those experiences in small groups, but I still feel like I'm having a freaking heart attack before I go and speak to, you know, 3,000, 5,500 people. And I just have the tools now to get through it. But how did it start? So looking back in Order for me to start getting through the fear, I want an emphasis on through. I had to recreate an experience for myself that would bring up the fears but have it be in somewhat of a safe setting. So remember I told you that I would get anxiety and panic attacks when I would get the attention on me and speak in front of people, like at a dinner or something. So one of the first things I did was invite 4 women to my house. And I said, hey, I know that we all kind of have the same goals. I'd love to have you guys over to dinner at my house and I would just wanna facilitate a bit of a conversation where we can see if we can support each other. Now I had never done anything like this, nor did I consider myself someone who had girlfriends or did girls dinners like I had never done that before. So the whole scenario made me completely nervous. And so when they came over, I remember like drinking a bunch of wine because I'm like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Like after we're done talking, we're gonna sit down and I'm gon going to stand up and I'm going to facilitate this conversation and be like, hey, I'm so glad you guys came. What I think would be great is if we started with asking this question and everybody going around and answering out loud and just that would make me freak out. Now, for those of you who aren't like, like, you're like, okay, that does not make me nervous at all. You have to think of the scenarios that do, and you need to create these in your life frequently. Now the second thing about this is frequently. So it's not just about doing it once every other month or once every three months or oh, I'm so proud of myself. I did two of these big things in a year. That's so cool. That's so great. I'm so proud of you. Truly I am. But I want you to move through it faster. And if you really want to not feel this horrible feeling of lack of confidence in yourself and your abilities to get through these things, the only way to do it is to do it frequently. So yes, start small, start once a month, but as soon as you can, if you're ready to be done. By the way, like I said, you don't get done with it, but you get done with not doing it. So you get done with rejecting the things that you wanna do because you're afraid you need to do it like once a week, if not more. I had a conversation with my friend Aaron King the other day, and I think she had told me, you know, she speaks all the time. I don't know, she's speaking like once a week or once every two weeks or something like that, but pretty sure it's like once a week. And I had chatted with her. We were out to dinner, and she said, I just did this talk and I felt really rusty. I was like two or three weeks in between my last talk, and I was like, you felt rusty in two or three weeks? And I was like, no wonder I feel nervous and rusty when I have a keynote every three months. She's like, oh, my God.

Yeah.

She's like, you get rusty so quick. Like, those nerves can come back so quickly. Which is why when I think about so many of my friends who are just on it, and they're so good, and they're so good on stage, they do lives all the time. Like, they're constantly doing lives or they're constantly doing podcasts. And you guys, so many of you are like, how do you come up with content? How do you. How do you come up with posts? How do you feel like you can just talk to these people? I'm like, well, I'm on a podcast three times a week. There is no time for me to get rusty. Like, I don't even get the luxury of getting rusty now. Of course I chose this. This is all things that I put on my plate, but my soul chose it because I know that I need it. And I know that in order to do what I want in the world, I have to stay in the game. And guess who created their podcast just like this? Me.

Me.

I chose this. I did this because I knew that I needed it. Because when I start getting out of things, things get harder for me. I'm like, oh, I don't wanna do that. I'm so uncomfortable. I don't wanna go speak. I'm so uncomfortable. Why do I always have to be uncomfortable? The more uncomfortable I make, the more comfortable and satisfied and fulfilled I am in my life. I want you guys to understand that the more chosen discomfort in the path in which you know will help fulfill your soul's destiny, even if it's uncomfortable, will make you more comfortable and fulfilled in your life in the ways that you are striving for.

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So I want you to look at your life and I want you to see where you're avoiding that discomfort that for the things that you desire. And I want you to see how much discomfort you're actually in. How much discomfort you're actually in. So, you guys, I hope that you go and you start creating these experiences for yourself so that you can recreate the fear so you can face it, experience it, get through it, and create the confidence to know that you are capable of getting through anything. Go find it. Go create it. I don't care what it is. I don't care if it's Instagram Live every single day or three times a week. I don't care if it's booking yourself on podcasts. I don't care if it's ballroom dancing or signing up for a competition of some sort. Like, do something that recreates this experience that makes you nervous frequently and your entire life will change. You guys, I'm sending you so much love. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone.