How To Become A Master Coach With Christine Hassler Co-Founder Of Elementum Coaching Institute

I've stopped fighting for the relationships that the other person isn't fighting for. I only want to fight for relationships where we're both fighting for it. Otherwise, like, I'm just running a race by myself.

Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. I'm so glad you're here. Thank you so much for tuning in. You could have chosen any other show and you actually clicked on mine, so I know that this is such an honor. So I want to make sure that I am gifting you something not only with some great information today, who you're gonna love this freaking interview. This woman has personally changed my life, which I'll tell you about. But if you go to becomealign.com we are giving away one of our courses absolutely for free, because we want you back on my email list. I've been writing personal emails every single week. Things that are really changing my life, things that I'm learning, things that I'm implementing. This truly is value ads. I'm not just gonna write you some fluff. These are things that I am integrating and learning and I want to share them with you. They're not long. And to do that, all you have to do is you just have to.

Get a free course.

That's it.

And then you'll be on my email.

List so I can talk to you every single week. You don't even have to stay on it if you don't like it. But the Align course was something that Chris and I built quite a few years ago, probably about seven years ago now, and him and I poured our hearts and souls into it and filmed for quite a few a while. Everything that has shifted our lives, everything that has really worked for us around changing our money mindset, really living into what we believe is our life purpose. And really just all of the different things that we have done to create the success that we've created in our lives. And not just that, but to do it in a way where we're actually happy. And when we're not, there's the tools in here to make sure that you're constantly reassessing in your life, your business, and your relationship. So all you have to do is go to becomealigned. Com. You guys, this first retailed for almost $1,000 and we've had thousands of people take this course. So I want to give it to you absolutely for free, just for joining my email list.

That's all you have to do.

And we're going to send it to your inbox. You can literally start it right now. So on today's podcast we have one of my amazing friends, Christine Hassler. She was also my personal coach for quite a while. And this woman got me through so many blocks, things that were trul stopping me from having the success and the life and the relationships that I wanted. In particular the relationships in my life with friends and with family. And we did so many things that she talks about today in the podcast that truly broke me through these limiting beliefs and blocks. I mean, I was carrying a lot of shit. And I will tell you, this woman is one of the smartest, most brilliant coaches I have ever met. Her name is Christine Hassler. She's a master coach, a spiritual psychologist, a facilitator, and speaking with 20 years of experience. She's also the best selling author of the amazing book Expectation Hangover. And this book is incredible, you guys. You should absolutely go get it. Free yourself from your past, change your present and get what you really want. She also has a top rated podcast where she coaches people live, which is so cool. It's called over it and On With It. And she is promoting her Elementum course, which is so cool because it's an institute that she co founded and it's a seven month coaching certification program whose mission is to empower coaches with a holistic and inclusive framework that can support the whole human experience. And she is truly creating the next wave of coaches who are making a massive impact. So, you guys, of course she's going to talk about that, but she actually talks about the tools that she used on me that she uses in her practice. These are things that you're going to be able to take from this podcast.

And I believe have a big breakthrough right away.

So why don't we jump right in so that you can access those now?

Christine, our dear friend, how you doing?

I'm so happy to be here with you guys.

We are so excited to have you on. We were just talking before this about how whenever we can do a podcast with a friend, it just feels like not like a podcast.

So easy.

It's like hanging out and do content.

Yeah. But it makes me miss you more. I want to just be myself to Wisconsin and hang out on the lake with you today.

Well, I mean, one, you know, you're always invited. Two, I don't think people realize how much fun talk goes on before the actual podcast. And maybe that's like, it's usually too personal. So as you say, maybe that's what we should air. But like, what is it? We've been talking for 18 minutes, just playing Catch up before this.

But if we aired that, we would have a really, really good download podcast.

You know what's funny? Maybe. Maybe we start there. What we were catching up on for the past 18 minutes is, like, we feel like part of our life is always in flux, whether it's, hey, I'm a new mom figuring that out, or not me, you, obviously, or, hey, we're moving and we're figuring that out, or, hey, we're pivoting this business. Is there ever a time when life isn't in flux? Because I think people look at you guys as a couple, Lorraine and I as a couple, and probably think everything looks great.

Yeah.

Like, it's always dialed in.

But deep down, it's the duck who's smooth underwater and the feet are paddling like a frenzy. What's your take on that?

Oh, gosh. I think for anyone who's awake and aware, like, tuned into life, it does feel like things are in flux. And I think collectively, what's happening in the world right now, the world is in a very settled place right now. There's a lot happening, and I think we're all feeling that. So if we go, like, on the macro level, I think we're all responding to a lot of instability just in the world in general. And then for us and for a lot of people listening, a lot of us are high achievers. We're entrepreneurs. We're always wanting to learn. We're always wanting to grow. And we have that growth mindset. And when you have that growth mindset and not that fixed mindset, just doing kind of the same thing every day, it isn't really fulfilling. And because we're growing so fast, preferences change. You know, we were talking about how in 2019, Steph and I moved to Austin, and Austin felt super aligned. And we're like, oh, this is where we need to be, and my family's there, and that's where we got pregnant. And then our daughter came, and we're like, oh, this doesn't feel good anymore. Well, shoot, like, what does? You know, what does? And that in between phase can be frustrating, especially for those of us that like answers and like a plan, at least for me. But my husband and I are both like, well, great. We know this isn't it, but what is it? And, I mean, the thing that we've had to learn is how to be in that in between without freaking out. You know, how to, like, be in the now and make the now as grounding as possible. Even though we feel on some aspect, we're not grounded.

Let's talk about kind of the moving there for a second, just because for some people listening, they might be like, well, I feel like I'm not in the right spot. But moving just sounds so crazy, and you're attached to these different things, and.

Wherever you go, there you are. Right. You take yourself with true.

What is a perspective for you guys that you have on kind of like uprooting and trying new things on that has made it easier to go and find where you fit?

Well, for us, we always listen to, like, what's an internal nudge versus thinking that an external move is going to fix a problem that we're having. So right now, it's not like we're not happy or we have a problem and we think moving is going to be the answer. It's more of a. Oh, man. Like, you know when you walk into a hotel room and just smells off and you're like, I can't stay in this room. Like, something happened here. I don't know what, but I got to go. It's that. It's that feeling of something's off. So whenever I have the, oh, I want to change something because something in my life isn't working and maybe this thing will fix it. Then I'm reminded of wherever I go, then or there I am. Like, I'm not happy. Let me take a trip to Fiji and then I'll be happy. No, probably not. My problems are going to follow me to Fiji. Very different to something needs to change, and I don't know what, but I have to listen to this.

So were you referencing the hotel in Greece when we all went there? When you. When you met Steph for the first time? Is that the hotel you were just referencing?

First of all? Well, my hotel wasn't as bad as you made it sound like it was going to be. So backstory. In my single days, in between my divorce and my marriage, now I was, like, living in San Diego and Nomad. I come back to la, and Chris and Lori always took me in, always let me stay at your house. I loved staying at your house. I will never forget that bedroom. You could hear the water. Little water fountain out there, and I loved it. And you kept the AC super cool at night, which was just.

We did.

But one day we were standing around and you were talking about this trip you were taking with Rob and a bunch of other couples to Greece. And Chris, the ultimate enroller, was like, you should come. You should come. And I'm like, but I'm single. I Don't want to always feel like the third wheel with you guys anyway. Like, I'm just going to be like the ninth wheel with all these couples. Like, no, you should come. You should come. And we. You guys were staying in this fancy spancy hotel, and I was looking for another hotel, and we found Hotel Hermes. And Chris lovingly nicknamed it Hotel Herpes.

Yep, just a couple letters off.

Single girl was staying alone. I'm like, you're going to manifest me getting herpes on this trip. And no, she totally fine thing. But it was just a funny nickname. But what was interesting is I had been talking to this guy living in Australia named Steph, who I hadn't met, who I met through a friend, but we hadn't met in person. And we were. Chris was like, you should just invite him. You should just invite him. He's Greek. You should just invite him. And worst thing that happens, like, you hang out with us. I was like, oh, all right, well, we'll give it a go. And, you know, here we are five years later. That was five years ago this month.

That way. That was five years ago this Month.

Yeah. We met July 7th.

Oh, my God.

Yeah. Yeah.

And here you are, happily married, parents now. Like, how cool is that?

Crazy. Well, y'. All, y' all were there. You were there.

Refresh me, like, right away. Was it like, oh, this is my guy, or did it take a little bit? Or, like, what did that look like?

I mean, I liked him right away.

For anyone who's single and thinks it's.

He was my guy right away, a certain way.

Yeah, he. Well, we had been talking for three months over WhatsApp before we met in person. So the in person meeting I was really nervous about because what if we aren't attracted to each other? What if he smells weird? Like, what if. But, you know, at that point in my life, I think I'd taken enough risks to know. Like, I'd rather take a risk than have regret because, like, you can't get time back. And I had y' all support, which was great. If I had just flown to Greece alone and was gonna meet this guy, I think it would have felt a lot more scary. But I had the safety net, especially of you two, which I'm always grateful for. But, yeah, when I opened my hotel room door and he, you know, we met in person for the first time, it was just like. The way I describe it is it felt like home. When we hugged for the first time, it just felt. It wasn't these fireworks or butterflies, which for Me turned out to be a red flag. Like, when I felt fireworks with the guy, it was like, oh, this is going to hurt down the road.

Fireworks are going to blow a finger off.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Or break my heart into a million pieces. But it was just like that feeling of, oh, like I can be me with this person. So, yeah, that's where it all began.

It's such a cool story. Like, just kind of demonstrating how far back we all go. And, you know, eventually we're going to talk about why. I just think you are the realest deal in the world when it comes to. In the coaching industry and Steph, too. But that's a fun story about how we go way back. But what I'd love to prompt the two of you to talk about is when you were Lori's coach and Lori was really going through some challenging times, and I watched you create shifts in my wife that, you know, were priceless. Why don't you guys kind of talk through that a little bit?

Oh, my God.

Well, I'm.

I'm trying to think about if I think I did coach with you before. I had you speak at Bliss, or maybe you spoke once and then I coached and then you spoke multiple times after. Okay. It was in between. So I think that's what prompted it, is kind of seeing you on stage because I knew you were an incredible speaker. I knew that you were just like shifting so many other people's lives. And you had come. You guys. I used to run something called Bliss Project. We had like four to 500 women from all around the world would come in three days. Personal development, like drop in connection. It was so much fun. But one of the coolest parts for me was getting to listen to all of the incredible speakers. Like, I got to be transformed during that weekend. And you are always one of my favorite speakers on one of my favorite days. Because I knew that people were going to get the gift of. There's something that you do of just being able to give so much perspective to someone, like actually allowing them to take a pause and hover above their lives and really look at it from a 30,000 foot view.

I feel like.

I feel like that's something you've really done for me, is just bring in all of these different perspectives. For me personally, not only watching you speak and watching people literally transform in front of my eyes, and having so many people on our survey sheets saying that you changed their life, you rocked their world, like that you were their favorite, and I'm like, what about me? No, I'M just kidding. You can be their favorite all day long. That's what the whole event is about. So for me, I was like, wait, I have some things that I think that I would love to work on with you. And, you know, I have. I have some things that deeply were kind of holding me back and affecting me. And I just feel like you helped me work through so many of those things that I still tell these stories. We just told them yesterday around the fire, about how you shifted some major, major things for me, even in my family, in the way that I was just experiencing some different things in my family to the point that I am in such a good place now because of the tools that I have and the way that I'm able to look at it with your help.

Well, you shifted it. I just held the space. Do it. You did the work. And it was such an honor to coach you and thank you for giving me the opportunity to be your friend and your coach and to be able to play in both those spaces, because that requires great deal maturity and vulnerability. And you were willing to go there. You know, you've always been one of my favorite people to coach because you have so much awareness and you have so much willingness and you have so much openness. And that's one of the many reasons you are where you are today, not just professionally, but personally, in your family and your marriage and your friendships, is because you were receptive and you were able to go, okay, there's some things here, mostly from my past, that I can't avoid anymore, and I need to look at. And I don't believe time heals all wounds. I just don't. It actually just reinforces them. So maybe it heals like a cut on your finger, but in terms of the things that happen to us in childhood, time does not make them go away. And so we have to have the courage and the willingness which you had to look at it and go, okay, this is impacting me. I can't change their past, but I can change how I relate to it. And you did that beautifully. And I saw so much shift in you, which is just such an honor, really.

2026 is the year that you launch your business. It's the year that you've become the boss, you become the leader. That idea that you have that has been eating at you forever, that just will not leave you alone is going to come to life. Maybe it's something that someone tells you you should always sell or a store you've already designed in your head and with Shopify 2026 is when you finally make it happen. Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made this leap from household name to first time business owners. Just getting started you guys. I use Shopify for glossy and I remember when they sent me my little shopping bag celebrating my 10,000 sales and I literally cried because I was so scared to take the leap. And I'm. I'm so glad that I did and.

That I use Shopify.

It gives you all the tools to easily build your dream store. You can choose from hundreds of beautiful templates that you can customize to match your brand. Setup is fast with Shopify's built in AI tools that write product descriptions and headlines and help you edit photos so marketing is built into. You can create email and social campaigns that reach customers wherever they scroll. So as you grow, Shopify grows with you. You can handle more orders, expand to new markets and do it all from the Same dashboard in 2026. Stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com happy go to shopify.com happy that shopify.com happy hear your first cha ching this new year with Shopify by your side. There are so many challenges to business that I don't want starting to be.

One of them for you.

And when you want more.

When you're starting a business, you need Northwest Registered Agent because you get access to thousands of free guides, tools and legal forms to help you launch and protect your business. And it's all in one place. You can build your complete business identity with Northwest today. Northwest Registered Agent has been helping small business owners and entrepreneurs launch and grow business for nearly 30 years. They're the largest registered agent and LLC service in the US with over 1500 corporate guides. Real people who know your local laws and can help you and your business every step of the way. You can sign up for free account to begin managing your business hub with lawyer, drafted operating agreements, bylaws, resolutions, membership certificates, bills of sale and more at no cost. Northwest makes life easy for business owners. They don't just help you form your business, they give you the free tools you need after you form it. Like operating agreements, meeting minutes and thousands of how to guides that explain the complicated ins and outs of running a business. And let me tell you, this is life changing because I had no idea how much went into this. So don't wait. Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business Identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes. Visit www.northwestregisteredagent.com forward/earn free and start building something amazing. Get more with Northwest registered agent at www.north registered agent.com forward/earnfree.

I was just gonna say, you know, you're giving Lori so much credit and of course it's always doing the work is always a two way road. But you have a really special gift and it's something that you've worked really hard to cultivate over the years. I mean, I still I at least once a month in conversations, whether I'm helping somebody or giving advice, whatever, I bring up the concept of the expectation hangover from your book. I'm telling you, not just a couple of bright spots, but through the years, year after year after year after year, you've made such a big impact in our lives and other high performers that are in our lives that that's kind of why we wanted to have this conversation today. Because number one, everybody needs help, right? Like even Tom Brady needed a coach even though he was the greatest quarterback to ever play the game. So everybody needs help at some point. But number two, I feel like we're getting into a time where it's getting real tough to figure out who's the real deal to turn to for help and who's not.

Yeah, there's a lot of marketing happening in the market.

So how do we decipher that? Like, what are some things we should look for in a legitimate coach that's going to be a good relationship for us and not someone who's just good at marketing.

I think one of the things is when you're like, let's just use social media. Are you drawn to something because of what they're making you think about in terms of what you could have and who you can be? Or are you drawn to them in terms of how you feel when you experience? So if you're drawn to someone because they make you think about, oh my gosh, I have this great relationship and I have this great car and I can make this great money and I could like, blah, blah, blah, lose 20 pounds or whatever it is, or you're drawn to someone because it's like, oh, this resonates with me, or I feel understood or I feel seen or I don't know, I just feel at peace, I would pay more attention to how you feel because there's the sort of aspirational, really great marketers that can sell you an idea, idea. And then there are the people in the world where you just feel them and you Just, like, feel it in your body. And, like, now there's a call, like, there's something here for me to learn, and that's always what I've been drawn to. Most of my teachers and people that have made a big difference in my life, no one knows who they are. They don't have social media followings. And you can have a great social media following and still be the real deal. I'm not saying that everyone on social media is a fake, and the real deal people are the hermits, you know, living on mountains and in the woods. But most of the teachers I've been drawn to, I've been drawn to them because either someone I know and trust has had a positive experience with them, or I've experienced something with them, and I just feel it in my body and I feel it in my heart.

Okay, so for people listening, I want to know, for you personally, in your experience, can you share either a couple of the things that you have learned or something that you can trace back that was like, a huge shift for you in using a certain set of tools or hearing something from one of your teachers? What were a couple of those moments for you?

I'll share a little bit more backstory about my experience as a human on the planet, and then the tools of why the tools were relevant. So for me, you know, there's a lot of things that happened in my childhood. One, there were several that were really instrumental in forming who I am or who I had to become. Because the things that happened to us in childhood actually move us away from who we actually are. And they kind of create. We create this Persona of who we think we need to be, to be safe, to love, to be validated, to be worthy, to belong, so on and so forth. So one of the things that I experienced as a child was a lot of rejection, not being included in the friend group, girls being mean to me, and I hate Christine club for me. And what that did is it created a lot of shame for me and a belief that something was wrong with me, that I didn't fit in, that I wasn't enough. And when we have a big ouch like that, our survival strategies kick in. Because for me, what that hit was the wound of belonging. Our need for belonging, our need for love, and our need for safety. Those are three of our massive core needs. Everything else falls into one of those buckets. Because if we don't belong. Think back to primal days. If you don't belong to a tribe, you die because the tribe needs each other to survive. So when we feel like we don't belong, it puts us into our fight or flight, freeze or fawn response, that trauma response. And so it's like, what do I need to do to sustain myself? So my survival strategy, which I also call compensatory strategy, and expectation hangover, like we compensate for where we feel less than, was to become a massive overachiever. So I got out of my body because between the bullying and also abuse I experienced as a child, body wasn't a safe place. So out of the body into the head and became a massive overachiever because that was safe. It's like, if I can be in my mind, disconnected from my emotions, I can just achieve. And the other thing that was happening for me is I was a highly sensitive kid, huge empath, very intuitive, with no things would. My intuition is like a claire cognizance. I just know things. Things just drop in for me. And I'm also very clairsentient. I feel things through my body. And so I didn't really have any teachers to deal with that. So the other thing that was happening is I was feeling all this stuff, and it looked like I was depressed because I just had to kind of shut off as a kid. So Also, at age 11, I was put on antidepressants. So. And I think I've told this story in your podcast before, so I'll be quick. But so we've got the. I don't belong. You know, nobody likes me. I need to just achieve and do. And I've also got this. Something's fundamentally wrong with me. I'm mentally ill. I need to be on medicine the rest of my life. So I had a huge story of there's something wrong with me.

Yeah.

Which made me very successful. And a lot of high achievers can relate to this because our achievement and our drive is coming from a void. We're desperately trying to fill this void of pain. And it's like, if I can just be somebody, you know, be successful in memorial, then maybe I'll finally feel like I matter and I belong. So that made me very successful, but it also, in the process, I pushed a lot down. I mean, between antidepressants and sort of being numb from my feelings and just the survival strategy going into my head, my emotions were. I was disconnected from my emotions, and I was definitely disconnected from my body. So the tool that helped me the most was emotional release work, which I learned from my first coach, Mona, who I started seeing when I was like, 22, I think. And she Was so different from psychologists and psychiatrists I'd ever seen. She saw me at her house. She, like, wore sweatpants, you know, she was very eccentric. She would sing piano tunes. And she taught me emotional release work. And the first thing she taught me was anger release work. And she said, I remember saying to me, baby, you're not depressed. You're just angry. Like, I'm not angry. Which is a classic thing people, clients say to me now. And I'm like, you need anger work. They're like, I'm not angry. I'm like, oh, really? Okay, I'm not angry. Mona, she's like, baby, you are angry. You are angry and sad, and it's all in there, like, just a little, like, you know, pile of rocks inside of you. It's just weighing me down. And so she showed me how to do anger release work, which a lot of people confuse anger release work with cathartic release. So maybe you've been to UPW at Tony Robbins event and Tony Robbins amazing great events, but sometimes they do the cathartic, like, scream, or you've been to a rage room, or you take boxing classes. And that's a great cathartic release. Like, it's a great release of adrenaline and some emotion. But emotional release work is actually attaching the memories and the feelings and the thoughts to the emotional release. So what she did is she gave me a tennis racket, gardening gloves, and a big pillow that had duct tape around it. And she said, I just want you to start hitting that pillow and screaming. And I was so wimpy. I was like, man. Because I was really afraid to use my voice, she demonstrated from me, and she took that route. And she said, I'm angry because of that. And she finished the sentence, I'm angry because, duh, I'm pissed because fuck you, because. And she was using words and things from her life, and then she gave the racket back to me, and words started to come out and the memories started to come out. And it's not about beating people up or making people wrong. You don't, like, like, yell at yourself, but it's about getting the emotion out that never got to be expressed. Because if we think about the teasing and the bullying and stuff, I never could go to those people, be like, I'm so mad at you. Why are you doing this? This really hurts me. I try so hard to be your friend, and you're, you know. And I was able to get that out on the pillow. So it's like, we have all these things inside of us and anger and resentment that we carry around sometimes for decades. And it manifests as depression, or it manifests as disease, or it manifests as, you know, not being able to make money because we have such a lack of self worth. So that, for me was one of the biggest tools and ultimately was what empowered me to get off medication. I've been off antidepressants for, God, 15 years at this point. 13, 15 years, something like that. And again, there's nothing against medication. There's a time and a place for it. Some people really need it. But for me, it was more of a. Of a crutch than it was something that was really helping me. So that has been the biggest thing, is learning how to release emotions.

We did something similar, you and I. One of the things, and maybe it's sort of the same idea and method, but you had me place a chair, I believe, in front of me and put the particular person who I needed to express emotion to, but I knew the emotion to that person.

I'm right here, babe. You say my name.

It was not Chris.

It was not.

You would not be well received. And so I think that's a really interesting thing when people. I think what I've realized from that was so many of us have these people in our lives that we can't go and say how we feel because they're not emotionally available to be able to receive our emotions. Can you speak a little bit into that? Because I think there's a lot of people who want this, like, peaceful happy ending and especially when it's close in their families and we have this expectation of what our parents, our siblings should look like to us. And that was like some of the biggest things for me that was holding me back.

Yeah. And what you're talking about is the empty chair process. And we can go over that technique as well, because that's my second favorite powerful tool. So. Oh, expectations of other people, that's just. That's massive expectation hangovers right there, you know, and most of us as kids wished our parents would have been different in some way, shape or form. And then we often go out and find people just like them to marry or date or go into business with because we're like, oh, maybe I can have a do over and maybe it'll be different with this person. And we realize we're in the same patterns. And, you know, one of the things I often say is you don't go to a Chinese restaurant when you want nachos. And so many of our family members or Friends are the Chinese restaurant. And we're like, no, here. Here are the chips. Here's the black beans. Here's the salsa. Here's a guacamole. Just, like, put it together for. And they're like, still can't do it. Here's some fried rice. It's like, but I don't want fried rice. I want nachos from you. This is what I got. And you go back, and it's still the fried rice over and over and over again. And we so desperately want someone else to change because we can see clearly how easy it would be for them to be different. So we often project how we would deal with something or how we would relate onto another person. It's one of the biggest ways we get in trouble in relationships. I can think of a challenge I'm having right now with someone, and when I think about it from my perspective, it's so clear. But when I get into their shoes and look at it from their perspective, I'm like, oh, they can only see it this way. That's one of the reasons we get so frustrated, because, like, I would do this so much differently. Well, you're not them. And they have a whole different set of wounding and a whole different psychology and a whole different perspective, and they're at a different level of consciousness. And that's one of the most challenging things for people on a growth path, for people that have healed a lot and aren't triggered as much, is it's not like you change. You become more of who you actually are. And you're evolving into this, like, really pure version of yourself, like your most authentic self. And other people are still stuck in their compensatory strategies and their survival masks and their protective patterns. And it's like you start speaking two separate languages. And so what I see so often is people on the growth path, like family members, friends, even relationships. You just. It's like a record scratch. There's a vibrational frequency shift where you're just not aligned. And so what I. What's helped me most is acceptance. You know, I went to. I got my master's in spiritual psychology from the University of Santa Monica. And there, one of the things we learned is acceptance is the first law of spirit. Like, you want to be a spiritual person. Acceptance, which is very different from resignation. Resignation is like, oh, well, my life just sucks and I give up and everybody else has it better. Acceptance is. This is a challenging situation. As Byron Katie says, I'm not going to fight with reality. How do I want to relate to it. So when we can accept those people, not expect them to change and have boundaries that we not only put up, but enforce. Because that's the tricky thing is we can put a boundary in, but then we actually need to enforce it. And the toughest thing about boundaries is that we want people to just be like, oh, that boundary is so healthy. I totally respect that and I respect you and I understand. But when we put up boundaries with people, we're changing the dynamic, we're changing the game. And so often they'll get upset and they'll push, they'll push, they'll push. And so we have to hold that. But the biggest thing is, is just not expecting people to change. If they do, great, awesome, great surprise. But not expecting people to change. And for me, I've stopped fighting for the relationships that the other person isn't fighting for. I only want to fight for relationships where we're both fighting for it. Otherwise, like, I'm just running a race by myself, you know, so it's just that acceptance and knowing that some people just aren't our people and that's okay. It doesn't make it bad. They just want to people.

Too many people finish their workday feeling frustrated, drained and unfulfilled. I know that. I have experienced that myself. And the good news is it doesn't have to be this way and you don't need a new job to fix it. Patrick Lencioni, author of the Five Dysfunctions of a Team and more than a dozen other bestsellers, created the working genius assessment to help you pinpoint the kind of work that gives you you energy, the kind that lights you up, and it also shares the kind that drains it. So over a million people, including me, have taken it and completely changed how I lead and show up every day. If you're a CEO, an entrepreneur, or someone who just wants to level up in business and in life, working genius is going to give you the clarity and confidence to operate in your strengths and find greater joy in what you do. Because confidence isn't pretending to be good at everything. It's knowing where you're truly gifted. Take the working genius assessment today and get 20 off with code. Earn atworkinggenius.com that's working genius dot com. You'll be glad you did it.

I love this. It makes me think of so many different things. Like even when you brought up you're not going to get nachos at a Chinese food restaurant. Even when I first met Chris, I was and I know you can relate.

The nachos or the fried rice.

I know you can relate to this even. Even with Steph. But it's like in my other relationships, when I first met Chris, I was like, oh, he's not my type. Because my type was like, I needed the high highs and the low lows. And it wasn't even about what he looked like or anything. It was literally like, oh, he's not my type. Because energetically, I guess I was just a medium. I. I kept going.

Consistency, which is healthy.

Yes, exactly. Exactly. I was like, well, I want this consistent, amazing, beautiful relationship. Except I kept looking at the Chinese restaurant for the same thing. Over spicy, stomach wrenching, wishing that he was, you know, wishing that they were something else. And I think of this, Christine, even in, like, my female friendships, when I used to really struggle, I was wanting to connect with all of the women who were just like me. Well, they all typically had a lot of the same issues I did. So we'd keep bumping into these walls where we couldn't necessarily drop in deep together or get vulnerable because I was like, oh, we're connecting over here. On these surface level things, this feels good. And then all of a sudden, the relationship doesn't feel good because I just kept going after the same thing over and over because it felt comfortable looking for that deep connection, never willing to get uncomfortable.

I want to kind of talk about the different methods that you mentioned. You said the empty chair method. I forgot what the other one. What'd you call the other one?

I have different names for an expectation hangover. I call the temper tantrum technique. Because children are so good at releasing and regulating emotions. They're not interrupted. If you watch a child have a temper tantrum, they get upset, they peek, they get really angry, they're crying. It's like you think, oh, my gosh, are their eyeballs going to come out of their head? And then if just held in a loving space, they start to regulate and they come back down and they start to go, which is them regulating themselves, and then they're done. And the emotion, it's just a wave that comes through. And that kind of emotional release we generally don't have because emotions aren't safe or even with ourselves. We're scared of emotion. Or emotion comes up and then we start to judge it. I shouldn't be so sad. I'm pathetic right now. Or start judging the person. And as soon as we're in judgment, we're out of the emotional body and we're into our head and the wave stops. Because for emotional release to happen, we have to be in an energy of compassion. So imagine a child having a temper tantrum and the mother going, that's really stupid. Your face looks funny when you cry. That is such a high pitched anger tone. Oh my God, you're getting upset over that. That's really, really stupid. When are you going to be done with this? I have stuff to do. The child isn't going to feel safe. And that's how we are with our own emotions. There's this commentary or we go into so much fear about, I'm going to drown in my sadness. This anger is uncontrollable and we just start making it mean something versus actually being able to, to move it. So it's something I've always taught in my practices. It's something that at my women's retreat. You've never been to my women's retreat, have you, Laurie? You haven't, have you?

No. And I now, well, I would love to go anytime, but now I'm like, oh my gosh.

I just, well, it's in October, second weekend in October in San Diego, so not too far. But I do a whole half day of this beautiful emotional release process which just like it takes what would take almost 10 years of therapy to get through. And it's just amazing. We used to take, before our numbers got really big at the retreat, we used to take before and after pictures of people before the emotional relay work and after. And we did it because people would be shocked. They're like, did I just have a facelift?

Oh my gosh.

Like we just. Because we hold so much in our emotions and you know, we're going to talk about Elementum, the coaching institute that I co founded. And the emotional release work is a big piece of it because I. What I've found is missing in a lot of coaching is it's very mental and there's a lot of mindset work. And for me, that wouldn't have worked. It might have worked in terms of like gotten me to achieve more, but it wouldn't have gotten me off antidepressants. It wouldn't have had my heart open the way it was. It wouldn't have gotten me back in my body. Like I really needed the somatic work. When we talk about somatic work, soma means body. We're not just a mind, we're so much our body and so much of our subconscious mind is connected to our body. So that emotional release work is so important. And the empty chair process, so that's something that I've learned from a variety of teachers. There's been many forms that originates from a therapy called Gestalt therapy. And then there's this also this other thing called internal family systems. Again, this is all stuff we teach in our coaching program. But it's basically the way to simplify it is you set up two chairs and you put yourself in one chair and you imagine that a part of you or someone else is in the other chair. So you could do it with like, like your 8 year old self, you could do it with your mother, you could do it with your higher self, you could do it with God if you wanted to. And you close your eyes and you center yourself and you just start talking to this part. So let's say I wanted to talk to my 10 year old girl who was really scared and felt really alone. I close my eyes, I'd imagine her, I'd invite that 10 year old forward and with my eyes closed I'd switch to the other chair and speak as my 10 year old in present tense. Like I wouldn't be like, I remember when I was 10, like I am 10 and this is what I'm feeling. And you just go back and forth between the chairs. And again you can do it with another person and so much can come from that. And it's really a powerful, in so many ways, spiritual process. And I'll tell one quick story to demonstrate it. So I was leading a retreat in Costa Rica and we were doing this process and a woman was doing it with her mother who had passed when she was a teenager. And it was a really big move for her, understandably. So, you know, being a teenage girl, losing your mom at that pivotal time, losing a parent at any time is just, is just such a life changing event. So she was sitting in one chair and she was representing her mom in the other chair and she was going back and forth and she was channeling these beautiful things that her mom was saying. And again, you don't have to be particularly spiritual or woo woo or ever have done a yoga class in your life to do this process. You can be a regular old person and all you need is two chairs or a bed in a chair or two pillows on the floor. Anyway, she was doing this process and, and she came back and she was herself and she had her eyes closed and she said, mom, I just need a sign that you're still with me. I just need a sign. And she had her eyes closed and when she said that all the lights went out in the yoga shala that we were in, everything went out. As soon as she said, I just need a sign that you're with me, the lights went out and we all went, we all gasped. And she had her eyes closed and she didn't know what had happened. And I told her what had happened and she just started crying and she just really felt the presence of her mom. And she said something like, like, you're with me. I know you'll always be with me. And the lights went back on.

That's crazy.

Isn't that crazy? And that's one of my, that's my, one of my favorite stories because it's so profound. But there's been so many stories like that. And when we're doing it with a part of ourselves, it's like we're giving that younger part. Like when I did that with my, you know, middle school aged girl, it gave her the opportunity to like speak to the feelings and the thoughts that she never got to speak to and have a voice. And so much of the pain we carry around is because is we've never been able to speak about it, you know. And I don't believe in reliving memories and reliving trauma. I think that can do more harm than good. So I don't recommend it anyone. I'm training and I don't do it in my practice. However, I do believe that, you know, everything is stored in our subconscious mind and going back and healing with love is how we heal. So going back to a time where we felt traumatized or we felt alone and saying, I'm here, the big me is here, the compassionate me is here. What do you need to feel? What do you need to say? It's not about reliving the memories and this is what's happening. And da, da, da, da. It's not about that. It's about, I feel scared, I feel hurt, I don't know what to do. And then the older self going, I hear you. Anything else? What else? Anything you need to feel? Anything you need to say and helping that part because it's like the hurt parts of us, they almost get fragmented because they don't get to actually feel and express and be held for what they're going through. So we just kind of get fragmented and that's why so many of us get triggered in our life. And you know you're triggered. There's a variety of ways to know, but one of the main ways you know you're triggered is if your response either internally or externally doesn't match the severity of the situation. So someone says something to you that you know isn't super nice but isn't the end of the world and you're just like at a 10, you're mad, you're hurt, they're wrong, you're no one likes you. Like you're just, your reaction's way up here when really it was just kind of a common in passing that's, you know, you're triggered, your rejection wound has been triggered in that moment. And so we know we're starting to heal and outgrow things when the same things used to trigger us. I'll wrap this up just by sharing this one thing. So for me, my social anxiety and feeling alone, sometimes remnants of it will come up and I'll be like, oh man, that whole thing of how we're never done, it's really true. But for the most part I have great friendships. I don't have a lot of social anxiety. When I go into things, I feel like I belong. I feel like I have people and friends that I can really count on. I'm good at making friends and keeping friends. And I don't get triggered if I feel like for some reason I've been left out of something. I'm like, okay, well that's not like I'm not going to take that personally. That's how we know we've actually completed something and resolved something. So again, it's not the time. It's actually doing the work and giving those fragmented parts of us an opportunity to come back and become whole. Does that make sense?

No, it makes great sense. And the reason I was bringing up and asking about these different methods, look how much you just rattled off, right? Look at the depth of that knowledge. I asked about it because, and I might ruffle some feathers here, but I mean, well, when I say this, I feel like we live in a time where a lot of good hearted people want to coach people but they don't have the tools or the knowledge or the practices yet that you are just rattling off. It's like me, like if I see someone stranded on the side of the road, I want to help them by fixing their car. But I don't know shit about their carburetor. I don't know anything about their fuel injection or their ECU chip or anything else, right? So I might show up, put on my overalls and say, hey, you know what, I can fix this. I think I know what to do. Just pay me X number of dollars and I'll give my best. I'm not Trying to scam the guy who's stranded on the side of the road. I really want to help them, but if we're being honest, I don't have the tools. And I think we live in a world right now where good hearted people are calling themselves a coach, they're charging for it, but they don't have these tools yet. And that's why you guys founded Elementum and not just. I really want to point out who's behind this. So it's you and your husband, Steph 2. I just sent Steph another client. Was that last week referral. Because like these are people that I know you create a massive shift in people, but then also Alexi and Preston, like these are four superstars that create real change in people. Why do you guys. A leading question, but why is it that you guys founded Elementum and does it have to do with kind of the epidemic that I was just talking about?

Yeah. So the stories. And this happened in 2018 too. The end of 2018. It was a big year. We had gone up to see Alexia and Preston and they were, you know, for them to meet Steph and they'd actually met Steph in Perth years ago at an event. So they met him before I did, which was crazy. And we were talking about how the coaching industry was growing so rapidly and it wasn't regulated. And we believe in the coaching industry, and especially me, I started coaching in 2004 when people didn't even know what a coach is. When I said I was a coach, they asked me what sport I coach and I was like, do I look like an athlete? Like, really, do I look like I coach soccer? I mean, come on. So it was such a new industry, but it's just, just grown. I mean, it's going to be a trillion dollar industry by the time, by 2025. So what we were talking about is how do we keep the integrity of the coaching industry because somebody has a transformational experience and they think they can be a coach because they've like helped themselves over a hurdle. They left a job and started something they knew or they got through a divorce or they, you know, they're like, I should coach people, you know, because they have an inspirational story and maybe you should. Maybe you should. And you should get some really good training before you do it. Because I've seen so many times that people have, for lack of a better word, been harmed by a coach because the coach didn't know how to hold their emotion or their trauma. The coach took them to places in their Memory or their subconscious that neither one of them expected to go. And then the coach didn't know what to do. Or the coach focused too much on mindset and goal setting when actually past stuff needed to be cleaned up. Or the coach was so invested in fixing, you know, putting on their overalls and fixing that the client felt broken. You know, and there's been so many when people. There have been people that have come to me to get coaching where I've had to clean up stuff. Other coaches have done either things that they've said, things they've done. You know, I had one person say, like, I felt like the coach was my teacher and if I didn't do my homework, I was in trouble. I was like, that's not the dynamic that you really want to be in. And so we just saw this booming industry that wasn't regulated and that didn't really. Wasn't really pumping out a lot of, well, armed coaches. And so we thought, okay, we need to start an institute now. We actually didn't start it till we're going into our third year. So end of 2020, beginning of 2021, because they got pregnant with twins, we got married, then we got pregnant. Like there were all these babies and marriages that happened. We got a little distracted. They have four kids, we just have one. But there's a lot that happened. And then Covid happened. And all of a sudden everyone was a coach. Everyone wanted to work from home. Everyone had a wake up call with COVID and it just boomed even more. And so we're like, okay, we have got to do it. And I'm at the point in my career where I really am in legacy building. I've built my brand. I'm not saying I'm done in any way, but my, my need to build or my desire to build me is just really dwindled. Especially after having a child. It's more about how can I pass on the wisdom? Because I feel like I have been trained by some of the best in the world and I want to be able to pass that on. And so we really. I really want to train other coaches and I love teaching. Now we can look back. Our childhood has so many clues. My two favorite things to play as a child were teacher and bank. So I'm an entrepreneur who teaches. I love bank. I did the tennis ball jars and I make the shoot through the laundry shoot. And I had my little monopoly money in my tray, Put my Lee press on nails on and be like, that's amazing. 80s banker. But I love Teaching. And I love being able to teach coaches how to be great coaches. Because the other thing that we hear so much in the coaching industry, especially by the people who probably are going to be really good coaches, is the who am I? Story, the imposter syndrome story. The people that are like, I'm gonna go do this. I'm gonna go build a social media following, I'm gonna build a funnel, and I'm gonna just, you know, make so much money. Those are the people I'm concerned about. Cause I'm like, that's a little too much arrogance for me. Like, get really dig deep in where you are and get really trained up and then go out and share. Because the other thing that I've seen with the coaching industry, and I'm sure y' all have seen it too, is there's a lot of people claiming how much money you can make as a coach and how you can be in Bali drinking your smoothie and, like, leading a retreat and making millions of dollars. And the lifestyle that's been portrayed for coaching is very alluring. It's very alluring. And what I think has been missed is, but what makes a really great coach, yes, it's awesome to work from wherever you love and have this great lifestyle. But, like, how are you actually impacting people? Like, how are you actually supporting people in transforming their lives? And so that's why elementum was created is because we are so passionate about eliminating imposter syndrome for current coaches and coaches, people who want to be coaches because you are so knowledgeable and you are so embodied. It's like, whoa, Lori, what's something that you do so easily that you totally trust yourself to do naturally?

Connect with almost anyone.

Connect with almost anyone. Has that always been the case your whole entire life?

I don't think so.

Yeah, you've gotten good at it because you've gotten practiced at it, gotten tools, and you've worked through a lot of your own stuff. So it's a lot easier for you to connect with anyone. And that's what we want to do for coaches, is like, you don't need to have imposter syndrome, and you don't need to worry about confidence as a coach because you're going to be so well trained and so embodied that you know, you know what you have to offer. And the other thing that we reframe at elementum is we're not in the business of fixing people at all. We're in the. Not even the business. We're in the mission of helping people really Remember who they are and providing a safe space for people to remember who they are and find their own internal GPS and help hold a space for them to work through things that they've never been able to work through. And our coaches also have the integrity of, like, if they don't think that a client is the right fit, they share that. You know, we don't train coaches that are in the, like, let me just aggregate as many people as I possibly can and making as much money as I possibly can. We really are about embodied coaches. So, you know, I'll say one more thing about it and you can ask me questions. I'm super passionate about it, as you can see. Love it. One thing Mona said to me, so this was back in 2005 when my first book came out and there's a producer on Oprah that reached out and I was close to maybe being on Oprah to go talk about the quarter life crisis, because that was what my first book was about. It was about the 20 something, 20 everything in women and what was happening in our 20s. And I went to Mona and I'm like, I'm so excited I could possibly be on Oprah. And she's like, no, you're not ready. I was like, it's Oprah. She's like, I don't care, you're not ready. If they ask you say no. I'm like, I'm not saying no. And thank God the universe solved that for me. And like, they didn't have me on the show. But she was right. I'd been coaching for maybe two years. I wasn't embodied at the time. If I had been and all that focus and attention had come on me, I don't know where I'd be right now. I may be, who knows, I may be more famous, but internally I don't think I'd be as grounded because back then I had a lot of peer. I had so much knowledge and I could help people with my knowledge, but I hadn't yet totally embodied it. I was in the process of embodying it. And so again, we wanted to train coaches that are in it for the long haul that aren't in it because, oh, this could be a great, great way to make money. Or, oh, I had this great transition and now I'm going to coach people or, oh, this could be like a hobby. This is like, no, this is actually my calling and this is what I'm here to do and I want to be excellent at it. Those are the people that we train.

I love that you're teaching the craft and the tools, not just the business of coaching, right?

No, you, you can't get the business. We have a three month business training where we train you how to do online events, be an expert for all based business, social media, like all the different ways. It's not a one size fits all, but you can't get access to that until you graduate from the training.

That's what I love about you guys. Like, like, don't make somebody dangerous until you know that they've got all the safety tools in place.

Exactly, exactly. And for me, you know, when I first started coaching, I went and got my master's degree in spiritual psychology and started doing somatic training and all kinds of other things because I was like, like, I can't support people unless I know how to deal with their past. I can't support people unless I know how to deal with their emotions. I can't support people unless I know what to do when someone's in a trauma response. Like, I can't just change the subject and be like, oh, everything happens for a reason. And what did you learn from that? Oh, it made you stronger. Your abuse made you stronger, it made you resilient. That just reinforces the compensatory strategy that I have to be strong and I have to push down all my emotions. But that's what a lot of coaches do. And so we just want to like give coaches all the tools they need for their own self, for their own life. Because I am my own best advertisement. You know, I like walking the talk and being my own best client has done more for my business than any course I've done or any social media strategy or any Facebook ad or anything like that. It's just really embodying the work and that's what makes people want to work with you.

From my perspective, anyway, I couldn't agree more. And I think word of mouth, word of mouth is the most powerful and the most legitimate marketing that exists. Right. There's all sorts of forms of marketing, but I think word of mouth, when somebody actually has a transformation when they work with you. And I mean like a client or somebody who goes to Elementum Institute, when people leave and say, oh, I got what I needed or I no longer feel like a liability or I now feel ready to do this, that type of word of mouth is the marketing that says this is the real deal or not. Can you share a success story or two of somebody who attended the institute and they're like their whole business, their.

Whole life changed oh, my gosh, there's so many. We have a lot on our website, too. But I can think of one woman who wanted to leave her corporate job for years. Years, close to a decade, I'd say, and wanted to coach, but just moonlight it and just wouldn't go all in. And Elementum gave her the confidence to be like, I can do this. I can really do this. Because part of Elementum is you have to get a certain number of coaching hours as part of the curriculum. You have to pass quizzes, you have to submit videos of you coaching. You have to come on calls with the master coaches. Me, Steph, Alexi, and Preston. Show us your coaching. And for a lot of people, that's intimidating, but for me, that builds so much confidence because, you know, seasoned coaches are saying, yep, you got it, or, okay, tweak this, or why did you do this this way? And so what? It just makes great coaches and it gives you so much confidence. So for this person in particular, the confidence piece was missing. Like, she loved coaching, but she wasn't completely sure she was super good at it. That's what was stopping her. She didn't even really realize that was stopping her. And all the practice she got in Elementum and all the feedback she got, because we have the master coaches and then we have faculty. And every faculty member that grades and assesses and gives feedback to students is a grad of Elementum. And they were handpicked by us because they were star students. So even the faculty are like, you know, live and breathe elementum philosophies. So by going through the program, she got that confidence. And a month before she even graduated, she quit. And within a month of quitting her job, she had a full practice and was making more monthly than she was at her job because she finally clicked for her of, like, I'm good at this. And that's what stops so many people. They want it and they enjoy it, but they just don't have the confidence. Yes. And so that's been one success story. And then I can think of another woman who lives in Europe who, like, really wanted to build her speaking and had done TedX and a lot of other things, but she just wasn't. It wasn't like, totally where she wanted it to be, but she just recently did another TEDx talking. I think it was TEDx or something in Europe. Something in Europe. And one thing about Elementum is we really. We really talk about the body and we do somatic work and embodiment work and trauma work. So it's not just head. And she did another talk, but she really was able to come from her heart and come from her embodiment. And she didn't also didn't experience anxiety like she had at future talks because so much had moved and cleared in element. And she is still getting emails from people about her talk. It's turned into clients, they've asked her to speak again. She like was bombarded after she got on stage. And I can think of so many more success stories but. And I gave the example of two women. Elementum is open to all people. We have a lot of men that come to the program as well, but those are just two that come to mind. But the biggest thing we hear from graduates is the confidence piece, but also that their lives have changed. Because although we're teaching, the primary goal is to train coaches and to give the tools, but you're going through it as the client. In order to learn these tools, you have to use them on yourself. So I can think of one couple who went through Allen Mountain last year and were going to get worse and he just re proposed to her and they're having a whole day.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

That's incredible.

I was just thinking that as you were talking about this, I'm like, God, even if you're not a coach and you're a leader of anyone sort, like you can probably save a whole lot of money on fractional hr.

Yeah. Oh my gosh.

By doing this yourself.

We have so many people that don't want to build a business as a coach. But our leaders and, and want the communication skills and want the relational skills and want to just, just grow. And they're so glad that they did it, you know, because it just gives you like something we teach in elements. Another thing we teach is nonviolent communication, which is such. I mean every leader should know and every person in a relationship should know that, you know. And we teach nlp, we teach internal family systems, we teach inner child work, emotional release work, somatic work, breath work, trauma release work. I mean you can go on our website and see the curriculum is very, very extensive. It's a seven month program. It's rig wanted it to be rigorous because we're like, we're not training people how to cook hamburgers. Like this is people's lives. You can't be a coach in a weekend course or I, I don't even think you can train in an online course where there isn't interaction. Yep. And you're not being supervised and you're not being watched. And no one's, you know, to be a therapist, you have to have 3,000 supervised hours in addition to years of schooling before you can even see a client without supervision. You know, and the coaching industry is like, call myself coach. I don't need any, I don't need any regulation. I don't need any training. I can just call myself a coach and charge people thousands of dollars. And to me that's just not okay.

Well, I would add to that, you know, you talked about the confidence a lot of these people got and the tools. I would say it helps to eliminate liability when you go through an institute like this because of what you're learning. It eliminates so much liability that you don't even know, maybe realize that you're liable for when you're doing things the wrong way.

Well, and you have a community. Like, I can think. Steph had a call with you last week and after he got off the phone, he was jazzed and he was like, oh, every time I talk to Chris, it's like light bulbs go off. And we're so grateful for that. And it's like we have people we can call when we're stuck. And in the coaching industry, if you're trying to do it solo and you're just trying to piece together a bunch of online stuff and you don't have a community that you can go to and ask, ask questions and you don't have people like, I am 20 years deep in the coaching profession. Like, if you like are stuck on the side of a road as a coach, I can put on my overalls and I know I can help you if your car is broken, I'm of no help. You can use my phone, but that's about it. But I know, like, that is one area I'm super confident in and to have access to people that are so far down the road that are accessible and that you can ask questions to. Because the other thing as graduation is we have quarterly calls for our grads where they can come on with one of us. They're 90 minute calls. They can, you can ask us any question. It can be about your business, about your life. So we have ongoing community. They also have lifetime access to the curriculum that we're constantly updating. We also are going to do a live event for all our grads. So we're really. Because the other thing I think the coaching industry is missing is the community and the in person aspect because so much stuff has gone online and so Elementum is really a family too. And we have that Ongoing support, and we are going to have continuing education requirements. There are certain things you have to do to keep up your coaching certification. So when people ask, are we accredited? The accreditation thing is tricky because again, it's like, it's not that super regulated of a system. So we're working on seeing if we can be continuing education for something like icf. But right now, elementum isn't an accredited thing. But let me tell you this. I have been a successful coach for 20 years. I have lots of certifications and trainings. I have a master's degree, two master's degree, none of which are accredited. So it's sort of like I worked my ass off to have a super high GPA in college. Did any job ever ask me what my GPA was? Nope. Did anybody ever care? Nope. So this whole, like, is it a credit thing if you're a weapon of a coach, no one's gonna ask you if you went to. If you're certified from places accredited, no one's gonna ask, I promise you. So whether it's elementum or otherwise, get trained by a place where you are going to be like, you're going to be so held to the fire in a really loving way that you know you're going to be the best. Don't do something that's easy because you won't be a great coach.

Yeah, you guys are doing it right. The fact that seven months long, the fact that they have to test through it, have to send in, you know, same way when you're becoming a therapist, you know, the supervised sessions, they have to send in sessions and get reviews. I'm just so grateful that there's humans like you that are actually making people do it the right way. Because this can be the world's greatest profession that helps people, or it could be a damaging one that accidentally harms people. And we got to make it one that continues to help people.

Yeah. And seven months may seem like a long time to people, but you're taking 70 years of our collective experience and you're aggregating it all into one space. And like I said, it's rigorous, it's intense, but you'd have to duct take this together for a lot more money, and it would take a lot more time where we just took the best of the best and went, this is your toolbox. This is what you need. And I still learn stuff. I still want more training. I still want to learn and grow. And that should be the mentality of a coach. But we can guarantee wherever you are, we had coaches that are just starting, and we've had coaches that have been successful coaches for decades. And I love that. I love when coaches that have been, you know, successful coaches for a while are like, you know what? I'm going to do it because I know I can still learn. And that, to me is what makes a great coach, is knowing that, yes, you're a teacher, but you're always a student as well. And so we have that very much a growth mentality.

I love that.

That's what I love. The four of you together, especially just, you know, we were chatting before this about, you're like, we've probably spent over a million dollars on all of the different educations and methods and all of the hours and the years collectively. You said, like 70 years of personal development that you are getting, that you'd have to travel all over the world and go with all of these different teachers that you've sought out to find these different meth methods. And that's what I really love about this. And not only some of the things that you. All of the things that you mentioned today, but something that really hit for me is how you were talking about, you know, so much of what you teach as well is about longevity of the coaching industry because you teach about boundaries and energetics and coaching hygiene and burnout and all of these things that are really important that people aren't talking about. Because I know that even when I did coaching for a brief amount of time, I was so burnt out, I didn't know any of that stuff before I did it. And I was like, this is impossible. I'll never be able to do this. So if you want to do this long term and you want to feel confident about it and you want to feel good, I feel like you guys are covering everything that will come up.

Yeah, you mentioned the almost million dollars that you guys have spent, you know, to really get where you are today. And I know those are uncomfortable investments along the way sometimes. We wanted to try and make Elementum as comfortable as possible for somebody that might be like, yep, that's what I need. And so you guys were kind enough enough to let us kind of arrange a $2,500 off credit, if you will, towards the institute. How did they get that?

So if they go to elementumcoachinginstitute.com happy, maybe you can. Elementum Coaching Institute is a mouthful. So maybe put that link in the show notes slash happy. Or if they apply to Elementum and just mention this podcast or either one of you or Use the word happy. We will honor that. $2,500 off. I think you both know Jill, so she does all our enrollment and sales. So you'll be interacting with her if you have any questions. But yeah, we really want to make this, you know, you guys have been friends for feels like lifetimes. And my whole philosophy on money and training is I have spent so much more on my training than like anything else in my life. Truly, truly, truly, my health and my training. And that is the best ROI ever. It is the best ROI ever. And so elementum is a stretch in terms of like, we don't want it to be a no brainer for people. We want people to be like, I really, I'm gonna think about this. But it's also like what you'd have to spend to get everything you're getting, I would say is at least five times more. And with the discount, even you know more than that. So it's, it's just such a great investment. And you know, the other thing that it starts thinking about as a coach is, is how are you setting up your business? What are your write offs? Like? You've got to start thinking, you have to have more of a business mindset if you're going to go into the coaching mentality, not be like, oh my gosh, I can't spend that. And we think elementum is very reasonably priced for what you get. It is very. But it's going, not going in with that contraction and going and like, no, this is an investment in my future. This is, this is an investment I can count on. Like, you are a much better investment than any other thing you could spend money on.

You know what I always think about with that real quick too is just what are you expecting your people to invest in themselves for that transformation? Like, you have to show the universe.

And yourself you're willing to do the.

Same and the world that you are willing to do the same. And I think that that single action is what has changed Chris and I's life, is by us showing up and going, hey, if we expect people to do this, we have to do it.

It's part of being legit. It's part of being authentic. You know, it's funny because the investors does a few things at once. When you make the investment, number one, it improves your skill set. Number two, it reduces liability. People just don't understand the liability that they're operating under when they're doing things wrong. It can be unfortunate, life changing in the wrong way. So it reduces liability. But at the same time it gives you that tax write off. Right. And you have to be demonstrating to yourself and to the people around you and to the universe that you are willing to continue growing into your craft and that you're willing to continue improving into your craft, not relying on what you've already done and hoping it's good enough in a changing world.

I'm so glad you brought the liability, and I want to speak to the community and having the support and mentors as well. So we had a situation last year where one of our coaches had a client that confessed something that was pretty dramatic. And she came to us and we knew what to do with it and we knew how to report it. Like, it was a pretty severe thing that involved a child. And I just think of what could have happened if she was just a coach on her own and didn't have mentors and didn't have people she could have gone to and didn't know what to do in that situation. Like, a child could have really been hurt. And so that's why the liability thing, I'm so glad you brought up because the coaching industry is beautiful and there are times when things happen that are crunchy and hard and scary and you don't know what to do. And you need mentors and you need a team and you need, like a safety net of people you can go to when you're in a hairy situation. Mona was that for me when I first started, and I'm so glad I had that. And it can be anything from something dramatic like the example I gave to, like, I'm really stuck with a client. I don't know what to do. You know, so many coaches don't have that and then they think they're not a good coach and the confidence affects them and then their coaching business goes away. So it's. There's just so many ripple effects.

Again, thank you for, you know, trying to protect people by working and hard to Give that discounted $2,500 to the people that we care about. Right. That means the world that you're trying to make it access. Would you give that website one more time? How do they go there?

Yes, it's Elementum. Coachinginstitute.com Happy and Elementum is spelled E L E M E N T U M. It's actually a Greek word. What the reason for elementum is. We give you the elements you need to have momentum as a coach. So thus elementum. If you have any questions, you can hit me up on Instagram. I'm Christine Haspler. And if you want a dose of coaching. So my podcast is over it and on with it. And every Wednesday I air an unscripted, unedited coaching session with someone that I've never met. And so if you want to hear how I coach. And there's also an episode I did with Alexi, one of the co founders, we talk about Elementum. You can find all that at the over and on with it podcast as well. If you want to do a little more detective work.

That's awesome. You're the best. We'll put all that in the show notes for sure. So like literally just go to the show notes, click on the link and you'll go to the right place. Thank you so freaking much. One, just for being such a good friend over all the years. But two, for demonstrating the right way to do things in life for good hearted people that mean well, that need more guidance. We need more, let's call them lighthouses like you.

So grateful for you. I always, always refer back to you. I feel like, I don't know, maybe weekly it's very possible because it was huge moments for me that lifted. I just feel like so many people right now are maybe not achieving what they want or, or maybe they are and they're not feeling good about it or you're like, maybe you're just in a place where you are not feeling aligned or something's off like we were talking about in the beginning. And I just think that this, either whether it's for them or whether they want to help people break through, is so much freedom, like into your next level and so much freedom into other people's next level and just richness of. I know that the gift that you've given me is just like a deeper richness of connection with my life, myself and all the people in it. So you guys definitely go. I know you already got so much value from this podcast, so either go listen again, shout out Christine, let her know all of the value that she gave to you because it's so much fun to hear the takeaways for our guests. But definitely go check out the link and use code Happy and let us know, let us know if you do it.

And thank you both so much. I so appreciate all the ways personally and professionally you've supported and shown up for me and, and you talk about embodiment. You two walk the talk. You know, I love the way you live life and the way you inspire people and just the way you're so real. And I always have such blasts with you guys, too. And that's the other thing I just want to say is, like, we have a lot of fun in elementum, too. Like, coaching is a serious thing, but it's also so much fun. It's so much fun. It really, really is. It's just to be in the world of, like, awakening and transformation and consciousness and helping people get free. Like you said, Laurie, like, that's what it's about. About just that ultimate freedom to just be yourself and be fully expressed.

Oh, so good. Well, thank you so much again. And you guys definitely go check out that link. And until next time, earn your happy. And thanks for listening.

Thanks for listening. Love and appreciate you all.

Sam.