How to Build Authentic Business Relationships that Support Your Growth
13 Jun 2024 · 20 min
This podcast episode (Lori Harder with guest Steph Carton of Entrepreneista) explains a three-part framework for building authentic business relationships—becoming known, becoming loved, and earning trust. Steph emphasizes showing up on LinkedIn and Instagram, using DMs for one-to-one conversations, participating in communities (e.g., Entrepreneista) to shortcut visibility, offering consistent value ('givers gain'), and following through on commitments to build trust. The episode also offers practical tips for introverts and includes sponsor ad reads.
Chapters
People want to do business with people that they know, people that they love, and people that they trust. So what I want to break down today is the know, love and trust. How do we get those three things? And what are the strategies to personally build all of these relationships?
Hey, everybody, welcome back to the show. It's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And you, you guys know that once in a while I bring on a guest onto these quickies to just give you like a quick hit of something that you can take away and utilize right away. And today I'm really excited because I have Steph Carton with me from Entrepreneurs. And you guys know I got to go and speak at their incredible event just last month, which was so much fun. And the cool thing is, is that Steph and I just share so much many core values around community, community building, relationships, relationship building, the long game, all of the things that we both believe have made us successful. So welcome to the quickie. We're having a quickie together. I don't know.
Thank you. I love it. Our relationship has moved really fast, Larry.
Really fast. I. I don't even think I gotta buy. I got to buy you dinner yet you bought me dinner at your event. So we do have one dinner in the books. We're good. Okay, so today we are talking about three strategies on how to build authentic business relationship. So I'm going to let you roll.
Yes. This is my favorite thing to talk about because, Lori, everything that has happened in my business career has come down to the relationships that I've built over the past 12 plus years. Since we started our very first business, Social Fly, it's all been about relationship building and really building community. And building real, meaningful, impactful relationships comes down to three really important things. People want to do business with people that they know, people that they love, and people that they trust. So what I want to break down today is the know love and trust. How do we get those three things and what are the strategies that I've used to personally build all of these relationships? And I can tell you, Lori, really, most of it really, like all of it has happened organically. And I've kind of like gone back and realized that I organically built these relationships by, you know, becoming known, becoming someone that people love and they want to do business with, and always being someone that people can trust. So I'm going to, I'm going to share all my, all my secrets right now.
I love it because we hear this all the time, like oh, it's no like and trust and people are like. But how, what does that look like in my day to day? Okay, let's, let's go. I, I can't wait to hear about them.
Okay, so how do you become known? So in this day and age, a lot of it has to do with social media, right? So we'll dive into social media first and then I'll talk about another way to become known instantly actually. So social media, I want to talk about two platforms to start. LinkedIn and Instagram. And if you are in business, these are the two platforms to really be showing up on right now. And there's different ways to show up on each platform. And the way you show up on Instagram is actually a bit different than how you need to show up on LinkedIn. But you have to become known for something. And what that means is creating content where you become recognizable or your business becomes recognizable. You are offering value, you're sharing information on these platforms that people remember, but also that makes people want to reach out to you because that's what starts the initial relationship. So you're creating this like top of funnel content and then you're giving people a reason to actually then want to message you and connect with you. Lori, I have to ask you, how many DMs do you get every day in your, on your Instagram?
I mean I get, I get a lot because I tell people, do not message me on here and I will not see it. And just you guys, you guys know that even if we're getting a bunch of messages from great people, we also get spam messages too. So you add to that. So it's really overwhelming in the apps.
Yeah, it can definitely be overwhelming in the DMs, but here's where all the magic actually happens. Once you become known, it actually happens in the DMs, does it? That's where the relationships then can actually start. So you become. No, now people are messaging you. That's where relationship starts. You have to start having conversations with people and, and then start moving them down your, we'll call it your sales funnel, if you will, or your relationship building funnel. So like what is that next step in your business for creating a potential customer or client, someone that wants to buy from you. It's really having those one to one relationships and connections. So the biggest miss that I see happening is people will say I'm creating all this amazing content on social media, I'm getting all of these likes, but nothing's happening. Yeah, it's up to you to take that relationship to the next step. You have to start actually having real conversations with people. And all of that can be happening in the DMS, on Instagram and on LinkedIn.
I absolutely like, I try to keep up with my messages though. So I for sure chat with people all the like if I'm. It's funny because the people who are DMing thoughtfully in a thoughtful way, I will absolutely do my best to get messages back. And I couldn't agree with you more. I built my entire network marketing company in the DMs.
Yeah, absolutely. It's building those one to one relationships and connections. Now the good news is as you start, you know, really scaling your social media and getting a lot of traction, there are tools to be able to help you with that. There's, you know, a lot of business tools that can help. I don't want to say automate things because actually in the DMS is not really where you want to automate things. You can automate things that are top of funnel but then you need a physical person to take over. So even if that's an assistant or social media manager or someone that you train to really be able to help you in there to move your potential clients or customers to that next stage. But also you can just be meeting people in the DMs where they could become strategic partners for you or we can just build real relationships with those people. So becoming known for something first on social media is a great place. But here's where you can really skip ahead and it's actually by joining a community and a community like ours, like Entrepreneista, even if you didn't have any social media and you join a community and you join a business community where people want to connect, they want to do business, they want to build real relationships. You can be known in a community and one of the strategies to do that is to be posting and sharing value add content to help other people. So if you're in a community like ours, like entrepreneur and I'll give an example. So Lauren Berkerson, she's in our community, she's a trademark attorney. She is always welcoming new members into the community. She's posting value add content about, you know, trademarking your business or things that you should know. So, so she then becomes top of mind for people and it doesn't matter, you know, if you're necessarily going to be the one doing business with her. You might know someone who is looking for a trademark attorney. This happened to me a week and a Half ago, I was at one of my daughter's dance classes, and a mom there shared how she was starting a business. She told me the name of her new business, and it was a very common name. And I said. I was like, do you check the trademark directory? Did you search to be sure that you can have that name? I was like, I've been down this road before. We made that mistake early on. She's like, no, I haven't done that. And I was like, totally to Lauren, because Lauren is top of mind for me because she's always sharing content like this. So definitely a way to skip ahead, to become known in a community.
We see that all the time in our communities, like the people who share the most value in those groups. So it might sound overwhelming right now, but honestly, you could put it in your calendar. On, you know, every Tuesday from 1 to 2, you go do a little research for the first 30 minutes on something that's pertinent to the people in the group. And then you spend that, you know, time posting. Like, it's. It's so minimal. But if you're consistent and impactful, it's like everyone remembers those people's names, and they get. I'll watch people come in and be like, whoa. They just literally got so much business. And I'm happy about it because they added so much value.
Yes, absolutely. So then the next thing is, how do you become someone that people love? Because again, we'll go back. People want to do business with people they know, people they love and people they trust. So how do you become someone that people love? Offering value and just being yourself. Like, being a good, authentic human. And something I've talked about since the very beginning of when Courtney and I started our first business, something we learned very early on, is that givers gain. So if you show up, because showing up is very important, and you give, it ends up coming back, always full circle. And it's not giving because you want it to come back. It's giving because you want to give. And it will all end up coming back full circle, because when you reach out to other people and you make introductions to others and you're sharing advice and you're offering to help people, remember that, and you want. Again, you want to be memorable. You want people to want to connect with you and. And help. So. So just being your authentic self will make people fall in love with you. The one caveat there is for all of this, actually, that I realized I should have mentioned in the beginning, you generally have to like people and want to build relationships for all of this to work.
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That is so true. And okay, okay, so let's just play on that for one second. Give me some of your tips for like introverts who are like, oh God, I feel kind of bad. Maybe I don't like people. I'm not sure. Like, I'm nervous about this whole thing.
Okay, I will tell everyone this right here, right now. I've shared this before. I am an introvert. I'm like an introverted extrovert. So having this conversation with you, Lori, like, I love this. I love one on one big groups and having all these people to talk to at once, super overwhelming for me. I much prefer the one on one, the, you know, very small groups. And that's actually really great because that's how you build real relationships. It's very hard to build relationships like in these large groups. When we do our virtual networking events in the Entrepreneista League, we put everyone in breakouts. So when you have those, you know, one on one or, you know, small group connections, it's easier to build those relationships. And if you're introverted, focus on being able to ask people a few questions, right? It doesn't have to be you, you know, just talking all about yourself, learn about other people. That's what actually builds the relationship. Because if you go into those, you know, one on one meeting and you find out, you know, where do you live, what are other things you're interested in aside from running your business? Do you have family? Children? Learn about them. Because then what's going to happen is something's going to come up where, like, I know, Lori, you have dogs, right? And you love dogs. And now I might see a cute dog Instagram in my feed and I'm like, oh, I need to send that to Lori, right?
Please do.
Right? All the cute dog videos and photos. So I'm going to send you that video and, and you're going to remember that. And we're going to build a deeper relationship and connection together. Not necessarily all about business, but we're Forming a real genuine connection where we're all like becoming friends. So then we all want to help each other, we all want to refer business to each other, we all want to be sure that we're all top of mind for one another.
Okay, that's so good. All right, we can go to the next.
All right, the last one is trust. So, so how do you build trust? The first thing is do what you say you're going to do.
Amen.
So if you are going to have one on ones with people to build these relationships and you say, oh I have an introduction for you, I want to introduce you to this person, you better be sure you're going to send that introduction and you're going to do the follow ups that you say that you're going to do. That's how you form that initial trust. Do the things that you say you're going to do. It's the same as it is in any relationship. So you really need to deliver on that and showing up for the other person, you know, it's like any relationship in life, in friendships, to build trust, we're there for the other person. We do the things that we say we're going to do and we follow through and we follow up and that is the most important thing. So become the person that people know that they can fall in love with and that they know that they can trust. If they're going to refer business to you or they're going to put you in touch with someone you want to be that go to person.
Let's talk about. Because I know that you, you know, you even told me at your event you're like, oh my gosh. That you know, like it's, it's a lot for you to be around so many people and you are so thoughtful and you are such a one on one person. So let's talk about. Because people are just, you know, there's people listening who are like, okay, I'm really going to expand, I'm going to do these things like tell me how you can let it be messy. Like how does your body actually feel? Is it hard? Like let's walk people through what it actually feels like when you're first trying to do this. Honestly, like how I feel even now sometimes so that they're not like, yeah, but I'm different. Yeah, but I'm more afraid than you. Yeah, but I'm more anxious.
Let's go. I will say that it's practice that makes it a lot easier. So the first time you do something, of course it's going to feel uncomfortable. The second time you do something, it still might feel a little more uncomfortable, a little uncomfortable, but by the time you start doing something over and over where it just feels like repetition, it becomes a lot easier. I remember the first time, time we recorded our very first episode of Entrepreneur. We used to record in studio in New York City. I was so nervous.
I was in studio. That's intense.
We started our podcast five and a half years ago, November of 2018, I think we started recording episodes. I think it was October before the first episode was released. Courtney and I have never recorded podcasts before. We had done, like, we did a Facebook Live show, we did all these other things, and we were in business, but we weren't. We weren't podcast hosts. Now all of a sudden, we're podcast hosts and, you know, we're. We're prepping for this. We're in studio with these founders who we didn't know. I was so nervous. Now we've been doing it for five and a half years, and it's like I can just show up with a mic and just start talking, but it's because I've practiced for five and a half years. So of course it's going to feel really hard in the beginning, and it still might feel really hard even after a year, but it should start to feel a little bit easier. And once you really do anything, you can find new strategies to just make it a little bit easier. But you're not alone. These things are not easy. Just practice.
Yeah, And I think that's the beautiful thing is, like, honestly, the really human factor of the awkwardness is actually likable. And people will trust you if, like, right off the bat, if you say when you're meeting people, like, hey, I'm trying to expand my network, or whatever, whatever the situation is, if it's appropriate. But just to say, yeah, this makes me nervous, but it's something I want to be great at. And I think people don't realize the power of using, like, exactly how you feel and being really vulnerable in that moment to actually connect on all of these things that we said, the know, like, and trust. I think they connect with you faster when you show up in your truth, rather than, like, trying to be good at this, because guess what? They're probably feeling the exact same way. So to have that first connection of, like, yeah, this is weird, but we'd like to bother, like, expand our network. So I think that's such a fun thing. I've bonded with so many people over being awkward.
Like, I love it.
That might be my opening line, you know, you don't even know. You don't know what you could be getting into, so. Well, I'm so excited that you popped on to give these tests because your community really is like, you're just all about connecting people. That's what the whole jam is, is literally connecting women in business, getting them everything that they need. So, you guys, we put also in the show notes a link that you can go and check out. Entrepreneur. They do a fun. A fun a ton stuff and a ton of fun stuff. All the things they do, all the things. You guys, they have a membership and like I said, they had a great event this last year, which we'll see. We'll see if that's coming back.
There'll be more.
Okay, we'll see.
We just. We don't have a date. We don't have the 2025 founders we can date. But as soon as we have it, Lori, you'll be the first to know. You can.
Great.
Let everyone know. But we have our local meetup, so members are getting together locally, meeting up in person. Our members are organizing them. So everyone's getting together too?
Yes. So you can actually go and practice everything that we just talked about. Okay, well, thank you so much for coming on. And you guys, until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone.
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