How To Create The Perfect Holiday Season

Learn to say no to as many of the holiday parties and get togethers and gatherings and all these traditions and everything else. Learn to say no to the ones that aren't mission critical. What's mission critical during the holidays? I guess anything that's really going to make you happy and going to make those around you really happy. Not kind of happy. Really happy.

And we're back with another episode of he said, she Said.

It's the Holidays, Babe. How you feeling about that?

I'm excited.

Are you like. Okay, scale one to ten, how excited are you? An eleven. You're lying. You're not eleven excited, are you? I am.

I am excited.

I'm the guy who's usually like 11 out of 10 excited about the holidays. I grew up with holidays.

I just feel like we have it dialed in. So I feel really excited.

That's what this is going to be about. Like how to dial in your holidays to actually enjoy them.

Yeah, I'm not overwhelmed, so that makes me. It gives me room to like feel creative around it and to feel excited.

I feel like a good holiday season is the result of a lot of planning. Yeah, good holidays don't happen by accident. You guys, this is a culmination of years of planning, but probably not the kind of planning that you used to. I think a lot of you think planning is like making the list of all the gifts and making the list of all the food and the menus. And of course that's some planning that goes into it, but I mean like planning for yourself what you need to have a good holiday. We're going to break that up kind of how we've accomplished that because we always haven't always had great holidays. And so we're gonna break it up. Like, what do we do pre holiday season? What do we do during holiday season and what do we do post holiday season? That if you wanna follow some of these things, they work for us and hopefully they'll work for you. Okay, so pre. So pre.

Okay, so let's rewind 10 years ago. Holidays have always been fun, but they've also been insanely stressful, which I think takes away from the fun.

Yeah. Cancel each other out.

Yes. And then like all of a sudden you're not having fun anymore because you're miserable, you're overwhelmed, you feel like you're eating your face off and you've drank. It's just like overwhelming with that. So we want to keep the season fun all the way throughout. So with that pre. What we do, if we did rewind the 10 years. We actually had these conversations over and over because we said, what did we love about last year? What did we not like? And we would like to see changed, and what would we like to implement that we feel like was missing? So what did we want to see changed? The number one thing for us was I would say it started with the gifts. I wouldn't say it's number one. Maybe number one was food. But it really started with the conversation around the gifts because we were feeling overwhelmed by having to go buy everybody a present, not even knowing what they would want. Yeah, like, lots of presents. What's enough? Like, I had no idea what was enough, especially for you guys, who are, like, maybe melding families together. Like, you never know, like, what's their version of a good gift? And what's enough? And do we need, like, to have this ultimate, like, hours of opening gifts? Like, what does that look like? And so we would open presents, and by the end, it's like, number one, we had a bunch of gifts that we would never, ever use, because nobody's asking anyone what they want or need. And honestly, we didn't really want or need a whole lot. So the main thing was that we wanted to spend more time together, like, intentional time doing fun things, rather than spending, you know what I'm talking about. That day or that week of running around last minute because you're busy and you're waiting till the last minute to get all these gifts. Running around and trying to buy gifts for everyone. And not only that, my love language is not receiving gifts. So I actually did not love getting all of those gifts. It completely freaked me out because I was like, number one, I don't want all these things, and I had to fake liking them. And that felt so inauthentic to me to have to fake for hours, like, liking these different gifts. And you guys get, like. I've talked to so many people who totally get what I'm talking about. If that's not your love language. Okay, so the conversation went like this. Hey, are we really loving, like, getting all of these gifts and running around and being stressed out, or would we rather, like, take that money and time and spend it. Yeah, take that money and time and spend it together. Or do something. Something intentional. How about we all buy one gift? That's it. Each person buys one gift. We set a limit on it. You can set $100, you can set $200, whatever that looks like. We go up to $200, and we all put them in the middle, and everybody picks out A gift. And this has been so much fun. This has been about six or seven years now since we've done this. And it is so much fun. And we typically do it on Christmas Eve and it's been just a total blast. And it's changed everything for us. We've gotten so much time back together. I know that. Way less stressful. You don't have to think so much about, you just have to think about one really great gift that everybody would love. And it's, I think it's been one of the biggest game changers for us having that conversation. And usually then we take some money and invest it into something that we all want to do, whether that's snowboarding or a Christmas cabin or just going and doing something cool that you can spend time together.

We've made it more experiential than about exchanging things. And I think that's, that's a huge thing that's improved the holidays. Okay, so if I had to sum yours up, it's, you're going to assess what's working, what's not working, and then you're gonna have tough conversations prior to the holidays to set those boundaries.

Yeah.

And you guys, this may not happen all in one year. This might be some conversations over the next two or three years, but I promise you're gonna wake up and be like, oh my God, I'm so glad that now we have this new thing that we're doing.

My pre holiday advice would be kind of similar, but more has more to do with your schedule. So the way yours was less is more for gifts, mine is less is more for your schedule. Like learn to say no to as many of the holiday parties and get togethers and gatherings and all these traditions and everything else. Learn to say no to the ones that aren't mission critical. What's mission critical during the holidays? I guess anything that's really going to make you happy and going to make those around you really happy. Not kind of happy, really happy. Be really selective with like your calendar. Holidays should be relaxed, time spent, little bit of recharging, you know, some great memories made. It shouldn't be equal to or more chaotic than your normal freaking work week or your normal season of work. That's not what it was meant to be. And I think we all fall into those traps with so many holiday parties and holiday appearances and going to everyone's houses and all that stuff. So, you know, unless that's serving you, you know, pre holiday, really be protective of your calendar. Really be protective of your schedule and do the less is more thing.

Guys, I have the best hack for you for this too. If you're like, worried about having FOMO and you're like, oh, but I really want to do it, but I'm. I'm worried I'm not gonna want to do it.

See, I was FOMO guy.

Yes. Oh, my gosh. So here's what I've done for a couple of events recently that I'm so focused, freaking grateful I did. So I asked them. I'm like, hey, I don't know if I'm gonna be in town or I don't know if I'm gonna be able to make it. When is the latest? I can let you know by. A lot of times they're like, oh, you can just text me that day if you can make it. Like, that's fine. Cause it's not a sit down dinner. Maybe it's a cocktail party or whatever. And then that morning I wake up and I'm like, do I want to go or not? And then I have the option of actually deciding based on do I feel overwhelmed? How's my energy that day? Does this sound exciting or not? Instead of, like, I said yes, and now I have to go E even if I don't want to go. So let them know you may be able to make it, but you won't be sure. What's the latest that you can let them know by?

I love it. Okay, so if that's some of the stuff you can do pre holiday, how about during the holidays? What's your advice to have better holidays during.

During the holidays? Oh, God. Take care of yourself during the holidays and have the conversation around it. So when you and I really started to have great holidays, well, here's how we started to have great holidays. We hit a snapping point. I remember we were at a Christmas. We were like, oh, my God, we're not walking. We're not working out.

Gross.

It was like day four of being in a house with our family, drinking and eating so much food by 11:00am, you guys, it was horrendous. And we were like, we were miserable and we were fighting. Like, everyone started fighting. And I remember we went in our bedroom and we're like, we can't do this again. Like, this is not working. We're not doing any of the things that make us happy. So what do we do? So the next year, we started having conversations around, like, hey, we're gonna be busy until this time during the day. Like, we're gonna have to, like, we do. We're gonna do a little work, we're gonna do our workouts and we'll see you after 3pm we'll be available on this day or after 5pm we'll be available this day. But we're taking the time every single morning in order to get in our workouts, get a little work done so that we can show up in a great way, so that we can show up in a fun way instead of being stressed out. Like these things don't make us happy. And also during was like we wanted to be able to make sure that we had healthy food options all day long. So we had to start having the conversation around, don't make us food during the day. We don't want to start eating this way during the day because it's making us feel terrible. So we'll have a big dinner with you at night, we'll have dinner with you at night or some cocktails. But we are going to eat healthy and do our thing during the day.

We're going to get our workouts in, we're going to go take our walk still. We're not going to skip the things that make us happy just because it's the holidays.

And also, especially for you guys who go home for like a week, we had the conversation with the whole fam of once in a while, him and I are going to go, we're going to go for the afternoon and we're going to go shop around or we're going to go, we're going to go do our own thing for a little bit so that we can reconnect and just kind of come back and feel great about being with everyone this whole time. Especially if you're introverts, and we both are.

You don't have to fall into the trap of it being literally 24 7. Right? That's not, that's not the goal.

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Okay, so summing yours up, I'd say it's really putting yourself first.

Put Yourself first.

Every day. Yep, every day. Like getting the workout in or making the right food choice or just really put yourself first so that it doesn't pile up and compound into this. This breaking point.

Yeah. And let it be okay if someone says something about it, like, trust me, it's better than you fighting and like giving yourself up every single year for the rest of your life.

My during the holidays tip is pick your battles. I think this was a matter of fact. In life, pick your battles is the best thing you can do. But especially during holidays, listen, you're seeing people you don't normally see, so you might be tempted to rehash old conversations. Or you might know that there's certain people that trigger you, or you might know there's certain conversations that trigger you or trigger other people. You might feel like there's some old wrongs that you have to. Right. I mean, family dynamics are crazy. Right. When it comes to the holidays. And then you add to that what you were just saying, food and alcohol and whatever else, and it's a recipe for disaster. And it's no wonder that people have so much stress and so many problems and fights and all that during holidays. So my during the holiday advice is pick your battles. The holidays are not the time to rehash an old conversation. They're not the time to write a wrong. They're not the time to win the conversation. They're not the time to trigger or get triggered or take the bait. If there's someone there that always kind of baits you into what ends up being the fight, they're the last time, the least of the times that you're supposed to be doing any of that. So for me, it's just pick your battles and know what's going to be a problem and stay far, far away from it and have the integrity to say, hey, you know what? Every year we know that this conversation gets us in trouble. So I'm not going to have this conversation this year. Let's talk about something else.

So good.

So what about post? What about post holidays? That's when people really are like, oh, God, I'm depressed, I did all this damage, I gained all this weight, or I said the wrong things or it wasn't what I expected. So what's your tip for post holidays?

Well, what's so cool is your post is going to be a lot easier if you do these two things that we just mentioned to each there because you're not going to feel like you're so far behind because you took care of Yourself. But post for me, I always like to have something to look forward to. And sometimes that's something to look forward to is even a little bit of space. Because I feel the new year coming on. I like to have some integration time, some creative time. I'm really feeling like, what do I want my next year to look like? So we have created a tradition around New Year's with vision boarding and planning our next year. And we make it really special though. Typically on New Year's Eve, we'll go and get like a great meal in the evening, we'll vision board, we'll talk about our wins from the last year and we'll celebrate those and we'll put our goals down for the next year. And so I really look forward to that after Christmas. But even more so, I think it's important to also have something in January or February that you are really looking forward to. Maybe it's a getaway or maybe it's something big in your business that you're planning. Maybe you're gonna do something that's really big for me is having something in my business that I know is gonna move my business forward. So maybe it's a business mastermind. Maybe it's a trip that you put together with a bunch of your friends who are also in business where you're gonna really go deep on each other's business. And you do that at a really fun spot for like three or four days, something like that. Where right after the holidays you're immediately really excited about going and like doing something that also feels creative.

I love it. I think so many people look forward to the holidays so much that then when it's over, it feels like a. A yes, a letdown. You're like, oh my God, what now? Like the exciting part of the year, the best part of the year is over, Right? So what now? So I love this idea of let's line up some things to be equally excited about going in the new year. For me, it is. You kind of said it. I call it leave some Runway. I think one of the biggest problems people do is they go from the holidays right into mass chaos. Tons of business, tons of obligations, tons of. And they don't leave any Runway for a smooth landing. You gotta remember this is the end of your year. This is the start of your new year. You need that Runway for a smooth landing. So protect your calendars. Kind of like the pre holiday advice, post holiday advice as well. Guys, protect your calendars. Have some you time in there. Have some planning time in There, make sure that you've got enough Runway for a smooth landing and for the, you know, landing the year prior and a smooth takeoff for the new year coming up. So that's my best advice at the end of the day, guys, you got to do you. And it really is like, to me, I love holidays so much. It's the best time of the year. I just get caught up in the romance of it all, the magic of it all, and all that stuff. And I have fun getting caught up in that. But I'm able to have fun in those things now because of the boundaries that we've exercised, because of the planning that we've put into it, because of being willing to experiment and try new things. And it's in that experimentation, not being too stuck on tradition, that's allowed us to really design holidays for everybody that we all like.

Oh, I love that. Okay, well, you have some things that people could look forward to after the new year.

You set me up for the Mastermind bay.

I am.

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Sam.