How To Diversify Your Friends According To Your Goals

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You guys, go check it out. When we were looking at the sum of the people that were around, not only do we want these really high levels, big thinking, driven people, but we also want people who bring adventure into our life. We want people who really prioritize their relationships and family because we want those things too. And we're back with another episode of he said, she said.

And we're going to Italy tomorrow. Italy, Spaghetti Noi and me, second time this year. I freaking love Italy. I think it is my favorite country. Now. I got a few countries to go to yet, but I think it's my favorite.

You think whenever you say Italy over there you could just say Italy like an American.

I mean, maybe. Here's the deal. We're going over there because one of our dear friends is having his 50th birthday party over there. And another couple that we're dear friends with, they live over there and are also friends with this guy. And so it just made sense to have it over there because the 50th birthday is special. And having individuals like this in our life is literally why we have a rich life. And I don't mean rich money, I mean like rich in experience. And what we wanted to share was, you know, the old Jim Rome quote that you're the. The average of the five people you surround yourself with. I don't think that's accurate. It's a great quote, but I don't think it's accurate. I think your life is the average of like the 10 to 12 people that you spend the most time with. And it's these couple of couples that we're going with that are the ones that are responsible for giving us such rich experience in our life. Things that you and I don't normally curate ourselves.

In order to figure out who you want to spend your time with the most of your time with, you really have to figure out what a successful life looks like to you. And there have been years where, Chris, you and I have like had to get out of a hole. We have had to dig ourselves out of debt. We had to figure out how to financially free ourselves and how to make some fricking money. And during that year, we really needed majority of those people to be people who had a great money mindset, who were super business savvy, were driven, were super driven. Like that's what we needed in that year. And so, you know, it's funny, probably two weeks ago, I had a post that actually got a lot of people's feathers ruffled, but they clearly did not read all of the context underneath my comment. But it was talking about, if you are the sum of the five people that you're around, if that means that your income is also the sum of the five people you're around, would you need to reassess who you're around if your goals are to grow financially? So thinking of that in terms of what you want in your life, how do you define success? So now we're not just talking about five people. We're talking about maybe those 12 to 15 people that are constantly in your life that you're around. And you know, Chris and I, as of recent, we really have started to realize that success to us does not just obviously mean that we want to grow financially now that we have financials kind of figured out and taken care of. And don't get me wrong, we're always growing and we're always trying to grow in that area as well. But we hit this place a few years ago where we're like, whoa, we're not really having the fun that we would like to have in our lives. We don't really have a social life at all.

Especially when my dad died, especially after.

Your past and we also realized that we want to prioritize family more. So when we were looking at the sum of the people that were around, not only do we want these really high level, big thinking, driven people, but we also want people, people who bring adventure into our life. We want people who really prioritize their relationships and family. We want people who really prioritize traveling and being cultured, because we want those things too. So now we're collecting people. As my friend Lindsay Sikornick always talks about. We're really collecting people in terms of the success that we want in our lives. And we're trying to schedule it throughout the year to make sure that we.

Lock that in and that term collecting people. I love it because it really exemplifies the fact that you have to picture this, this sum of, I'm going to call it like 12 to 15 people that really influence your life. You got to look at them as a pie. And you can't expect any one slice of the pie to have every single ingredient that you need. It's just not realistic in life. Right. You can't put that pressure on people to be your everything, your financial leader, your fun leader, your travel leader, your family leader, your love. That's. That's not going to be one person or one couple. And so if you look at it like 12 to 15 slices of a pie, you need to diversify that pie. Just like you would put your portfolio. You need to have a few people that their North Star is fun and travel and experience and adventure. And you need to have a few people where their North Star is family and love and loyalty. And you need to have a few people where their North Star is financial responsibility and driven and dreaming. And you need to diversify that pie. And that takes more than five people in your life.

Yeah. And this can feel like a lot right now to you. And we did not get these people all at once. This has taken us years. And I think the thing that we did looking back and, you know, I don't know if it's right or wrong, but I'll just tell you, our path was pending on what we needed the most in our life. That's what we really focused on building. So if there was a year where we really actually, there was about eight years where we really needed to learn how to be financially free and figure that out. And we needed to learn how to diversify financially. And so we went hard for a long time on really trying to grow that network. And then after that, I would say that we started to grow People who were just a little more cultured and loved to travel. And then I think this last year was just all about fun and family and, you know, we couldn't do it all at once. And I can tell you this is not easy to balance. It's not so we can rattle this off all we want, but we do have moments where we're like, this shit is hard. It's hard to spread your time throughout all of these people, but it's worth it.

It's worth it. That's what I was gonna say.

It's so worth it. And you know what? We've actually made a lot of these people get together. We just make different groups get together if we wanna see different groups. And we're like, okay, who in our group of friends could we see this summer? And who could all get along together? At least try to get along together. And you know what, we've even been pleasantly surprised, like, oh my gosh. Didn't know if these people would love these people. But that was great. Like, I feel like at this point in our lives, like most people want to branch out and also do exactly what we're talking about.

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And the earlier you get started, you know, understanding this in life, the better. I wish somebody was shaking me by the shoulder and said, hey, in your 20s, demand the best out of your. Out of the individuals in your life. Don't settle for the having, you know, certain people in your life demand the best relationships and the most inspirational people in the. In a very well cultured, very diverse way. And here's the formula, guys. Number one, collect people. Actively collect people. Number two, make sure you are diversifying your pie of people. It's gotta have all types in it. And number three, don't settle. Keep on collecting people and diversifying that pie until you have a life that is so damn extraordinary, you can't even believe that it's your life.

Oh, I love that. And you guys, I just want to give you a tip that Chris and I would not have been able to get all of these incredible people in our life if we would not have really understood and believed that. What he was saying before, not everyone can be everything. And so, you know, sometimes you meet people who are not gonna live up to certain things that you want them to, but man, the things they are good at or the things they bring to the table just outweigh any of those other things that you're like, oh, I wish they were more like this or more like that. Nobody is perfect and I don't want to be held to those standards by my friends. I just want to do be who I am really well. And I want my friends to be who they are. The best.

Really well, thanks for letting Lori and I be in your life. Thanks for letting us be a virtual piece of your people pie at least. And remember, we are always here to support you and just love and appreciate the fact that you listen to our show and that you are in our lives. Thanks a lot. Always appreciate you. It.