How To Get Your Power Back NOW!

When you seek the teachers, they will come. And hopefully this is a moment for you that I can be like, hey, I think you're awesome, but I think you're giving your power to something that you literally need to steal it back from. You need to go take it back and take control and create it for yourself, even if it's small scale. In fact, I think small scale is the way to start.

Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the show.

It's time for another quickie, because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And I had such a fun night last night. We are doing our live podcast recordings at the Good Vibes Media Studio, and it's so much fun because not only do we get to do podcasts, which we love, but I get to do it with one of my best friends, Lindsay Schwartz, who also has the Powerhouse Women podcast. And we get to do it in front of a live audience, which is amazing because I have been wanting to be with more community in person. And we might drink wine sometimes, so. So that's super fun, too. And it's just fun to connect with everybody and to be able to meet everyone and see their faces as we're chatting. And I think it brings out, like, a little bit different part of our personalities, too, because it just feels like we're in our living room with the girls that we invited over to drink wine with and talk about the stuff that we actually want to talk about. And last night was so much fun because we were talking about choosing to anoint ourselves and to cut out the middleman and what that looks like. But before I get into that, I just landed actually in. We stay in Arizona for January, February, and March. So we were at our Arizona place, but we just landed in California to do an interview with Lewis Howes. So we're headed over to the Greatness Studios to interview him on his new book, which I'm so excited about. If you guys don't know about his new book, you're going to have to listen to the interview that's coming out really soon and go grab that book. Because Lewis has been one of our biggest mentors, we joined his mastermind. He obviously has one of the biggest podcasts out there for a reason, and he's just really honed in on his zone of genius, and I'm excited to be able to go be in his atmosphere because I literally learn so much from him every time that we get to sit with him. So back to the topic. Where in your life are you waiting to be anointed by someone Else, right? Where in your life are you waiting to get noticed? Where in your life have you given the power away to someone else thinking that it's in their hands to say yes to you? Now, in some cases this may be true, but I still think that we have more control than we believe. What do I mean by that? So I want to share a story about the first time that I really realized that I had the ability to take my power back and anoint myself. What does that mean? So let's see, what year was this? This was probably 2005 or 2006. I was living and we had just, we had just lost our, our home that we had bought. We had short sold it. We were $300,000 in debt. My husband got laid off from his job because it was the finance crisis that was going on in 2007, 2008, and I was working random jobs. I was working at an Ulta doing makeup. I was working at a place called Joe to Go that did drive through coffee, you guys. I didn't graduate high school. I'd gone back to try to get my ged and I could not complete math on my own. Like I was in a bad place. I was like, I'm so dumb. I can't do anything. I can't complete anything. Who am I going to be? What am I going to do? And fast forward a couple years to, I think this was now 2007, 2008. And I had vision boards up in the small condo that we moved into after we lost our house. And I was starting to want to get into personal training. So I was taking the personal training courses and I maybe had one or two clients at the time, I'm not sure. And so I remember I also wanted my big dream, my kind of big secret private dream that was all over my house. But I wasn't really sharing it too much with people outside or that I knew was I wanted to be on a fitness cover. I wanted to inspire people the way that I had been inspired by these incredible women on these covers that I had carried around these magazines until they were tattered and dog eared. And I just clung to those like it was life. And I just felt like if they could do it, maybe I could do it too. And I had put them all over my vision board. And I remember at this point I'd done quite a few fitness competitions and photo shoots and I was sending them to magazines and getting rejected over and over again. And I couldn't figure out why I was getting rejected. And you know, Some of the rejections were coming back and saying, you don't have the all American look at the time. I was, you know, I'm Native American and I'm a dark hair and dark eyes, and they're like, you look too exotic. We're looking for more of the girl next door. Yes, I know this is not that long ago. And these were some of the responses I was getting you guys crazy to think about now and. Or just, you know, we're not interested. Thank you so much. Like, just so many different rejections, creative rejections. And I kept trying. And I remember it was probably three to four years in of me constantly submitting. I was consistent. I submitted like every two months for that entire time with new angles, different angles. Like, how about now? How about now? How about this photo shoot? How about I won this competition? Do you see me yet? Do you see me? Do you see me? Do you want to anoint me? Am I your girl? Am I good enough? Am I good enough? Am I good enough? Oh, my gosh. Do you guys know what I'm talking about right now? Am I good enough? When will I be good enough? When am I gonna be good enough to you? Like, when are you gonna see what I believe I have to offer? And so I'm standing in front of this vision board and I'm looking at these covers, and I have this moment. I have this moment where I realize that this may never happen. It's starting to feel really bleak. And I had a freaking breakdown. Fit my bed was right next to where I hung my vision board and I threw myself on it. And I was literally pounding my fists on the bed and screaming, like, having a full on just tantrum breakdown moment. And it probably lasted. I don't know what was probably only a minute, but felt like five minutes to have the realization that nobody was listening to me. And it's. It's kind of that moment where you're like, okay, well, no one's coming. And I'm crying and wailing and this is kind of a lot of effort. And I'm kind of tired, so it's like, okay, I think I'm done. I got that out of my system. And I stood back up, like in this snotty, dripping, teary eyed, pathetic, mopey moment. And I just hated how I felt. I just hated that that was what I was doing in that moment. I was just pissed that I even had succumbed to, like this low, low moment of just anger. And I looked at that vision board again, and I was like, why Do I want this? Can I be okay if I never get it? What is the actual feeling that I'm after? Don't ask me why. Some of these questions were coming into my head and they never came in before. I really believe sometimes God interjects in those moments and is like, hey, dummy, how about at it this way? Love you, but come on, let's take a second. And I was like, what do I want this for? And I thought that the magazine covers were going to bring me, number one, validation number two, community, number three. I wanted to inspire people, and I wanted to be that inspiration. And it was going to bring me this feeling of finally good enough, or finally I have something that I feel like I'm doing that I feel proud of. And I thought, do I need them for that? Or could I literally cut them out of the equation and create that for myself? Could I go and inspire people in my community? Could I start small groups? Could I start small? Why do I have to be so big? Why does it have to be so big right away? Why can't I start getting this feeling locally? Why can't I start this in small groups? Why can't I start with four women? Why can't I invite four women to a workshop and, you know, work on inspiring them there and getting them to feel like their best selves and getting them to start owning their confidence and their power? So I started all of these weekend workshops, and so I started speaking, and so I started filming myself on YouTube recording recipes. So I wrote a cookbook and self published it, sold it myself and all of these things. As I put my head down and cut out the middleman and said, you know what? F you like, just for a minute, it felt really good to be like, I don't need you. And that is where the magic happened. I'm not saying to get angry or be mad at people, but for a minute, it felt good to be like, what am I doing giving you all of my power? What am I doing giving these people all of my power when I can go and create this myself?

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So go figure. In the time that I was putting my head down and creating all of this value for other people, what happens when you do that is all of a sudden I created a platform. People wanted to listen to me, people were buying my cookbooks, people were coming to my workshops. And so when I started resubmitting to the magazine with a whole lot less expectation and a whole lot of detachment from if they choose me or not, that is when finally they said yes. Now, it wasn't the first submission. It's probably about four later. I attached some of the videos that I was doing of cooking live online. I was showing them how I could write recipes for the magazine. I could add a lot of value that way. I was showing them how I was about to go speak on stage at this network marketing company that I had joined. And I was about to be in front of 10,000 people and I'd love it if I could put their coverage in the back as I was up there and I would make sure to get it out to all these people. And I realized that it was about adding value to them as a business. I realized the magazine was a business. They weren't just out here looking for pretty faces to promote people. It was like, hi, they have to make money too. What's in it for them? And so when I did that pitch, it was all focused instead of, do you see me? Do you see me? Do you see me? And it was, how can I add value? How can I help you get this magazine out? How can I help sell copies? And this is how I think I can do it. It. I wrote up a, like a marketing plan for them and the issue that I was going to come out on for them to say yes. And that is how it finally turned around. And so you guys, I want you to think of your life in terms of where you're waiting to be anointed. And I want you to look at it and say, where can I actually cut them out and create the feeling for myself and create it in a small basis and put my head down so much that all of a sudden I become a undeniable because of the communities I've created in the platforms. I have so much value now, so I love you so much, but if you are stuck, I want you to know that you're giving your power away somewhere. And I do this all the time. I'm still in This. I still have moments right now where I'm going. I'm totally sabotaging myself because I'm believing that I'm not good enough for this or that I can't do it. And I know that I'm giving someone else my power. So let's start looking at those areas because I believe in you. I believe that if you found this podcast, it is for a reason. It is not by an accident. When you seek the teachers, they will come. And hopefully this is a moment for you that I can be like, hey, I think you're awesome, but I think you're giving your power to something that you literally need to steal it back from. You need to go take it back and take control and create it for yourself, even if it's small scale. In fact, I think small scale is the way to start. You know, when we were in that room last night doing our live podcast, that's what we wanted to remind everyone of, is, you know, we were back in a small room, about 30 people. And, you know, whether you think that's small or that's big, it felt amazing to kind of be like, I want to get this idea out there. I want to do a live podcast. And I kept waiting and Lindsay and I kept stalling and not doing it, even though we had the idea last night year, because we thought it had to be big, but it felt like a lot of work to sell 200, 300 tickets to an event. And so we were stopping ourselves, and we're like, why are we doing this? We can just create this in a small way and get this feeling in our lives right now and have the best time ever, get back in the community and create content in a fun way, because we want more fun in our lives. So just sending you so much love, and I hope that this gives you a minute of cutting out the middleman and knowing that you can take that power back. But, you guys, I would love for you to join my daily text list at. That's also where I am sending the link to join our live Living Room sessions. We do them once a month. So if you want to go to that and if you want to get on my daily text, all you have to do is text the word daily to 310-496-8363. That's 310-496-8363. Just text the word daily. And you're also going to be able to find out when our next Living Room sessions are. They are selling out about a month or two in advance. So if you, if the tickets do come up, I can't even, I don't even have any to share right now because they're all sold out for next month as well. But if you do get a link for that, I would recommend buying it that second because they tend to sell out within the hour. But I hope that I get to see you there and maybe next year we will make them bigger. But I do want to continue to do them every single month because it means so much to me to be in the room and seeing your faces. So I'm sending you so much love. And until next time, earn your happy. Sam.