How To Give Less F$cks In 2024

If we feel that we have to care about everything, we actually end up caring about nothing. So the more that you can get clear on what you're going to care about, the more that you can cut off your thought process from the other things so that you can get back to moving the needle on things. And this is life changing because when we care about every cause, we care about no cause. Hey, everyone, welcome back to the show. It's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And I've really been thinking about all of the different things that I could talk to you about to make your 2024 better. And in actuality, I think this one might be the biggest and colorful language warning because I'm going to be talking about the book the Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson. If you have not read it yet, I love it. It's been out for quite a few years. But when thinking about all of the things that, that you could do to make your year better, this one was the one that was just blaring in my face, staring me down. And I think that we have all started to just really care way too much about what people think, whether we realize it or not, especially through social media. And just as we become more successful, that typically is related to how seen we are and how much you care can escalate even more, which can actually turn into being a very sabotaging thing because the more we feel like people see us and care about us, the more we start to worry about what we're saying, what we're doing and what we're putting out there. And the more we worry, the less organic that is to who we actually are, the less authentic it actually is. And we know that when you're not being your authentic self self and you're caring too much is when you don't get your best work done. There are seven things from the book that I wanted to share to help you give less fucks this year. And I hope that that is freeing for everybody as they're listening. So in the book, he talks about something called value clarification. And he talks about that life's struggles are inevitable. But the key to clarification, clarifying your values, is to really, really choose and get clear on what you do value. Because not everything is worth caring about. And being selective about what you care about matters. And I had this realization quite a few years ago. And I had it in a funny way, someone in my life who I did not choose to have in my life, but was in my life through a relation of mine. A person that I really cared about had this person in their life. So unfortunately got the side effect of having someone I did not enjoy whatsoever in my life. And I can tell you that the best lessons were learned through this person, but this was one of the biggest lessons that I learned. I noticed that this person would always post these really just traumatic, awful things on Facebook that were happening in the world. Like, I can't believe this. This is so wrong. I can't believe this is happening. Whether it was kids or abused dogs or just these things that were so overwhelming, but the person would never do anything about them. They would just post about it, and they would never actually take action on it. So it was just spreading, like, this fear and sadness, but never taking action. It was just very, like, disgusted with the world. And so it just felt very heavy. And I had this realization because whenever she would post, I was like, oh, my God, should I be doing something about these things? And as I would start to think I should be doing something about everything, I noticed that my actual power and energy would dwindle from the things that I was doing. And at the time, Chris and I were really clear on what we were donating on. We were working with an organization called Pop Pencils of Promise, where we built schools in other countries that could not afford them, because education is obviously super powerful for people, and it helps them change the situations that they're in. And we got to see it through this particular organization that we were working with. So we knew that this really worked. And as I would look at all these other things, should I be doing this? Should I be doing that? And I would just feel bad and heavy, and my energy would drain. I had this realization that we can't care about everything. It's not our job to care about everything. And of course, I had this realization as well when, you know, the world really started to change about probably five to seven years ago with just so many different political views and different views that are going on in the world. And I noticed that the more that I felt I had to be in every single one of them, the less I was actually taking action, and the less good I was for family and friends, and the less money I felt like I was making. Because what happens is when you dilute what you care about, nothing actually gets cared for. So get really clear on what you want to care for. And then when the other things come up, I literally was like, that's not for me to care about, right? Now, yes, it's not that we're just putting the responsibility on other people, but other people will find that to be one of the things that they're going to care about. And if we feel that we have to care about everything, we actually end up caring about nothing. So the more that you can get clear on what you're going to care about, the more that you can cut off your thought process from the other things so that you can get back to moving the needle on things. And this is life changing, because when we care about every cause, we care about no cause. All right, so number two, the importance of limits is what he talks about in the book. He emphasizes the importance of setting limits and understanding that you can't care about everything, which is what we talked about, but prioritizing what truly matters to you and then letting go of the things that don't align with your values. So this one's important because even if you're looking for what to care about, sometimes it's hard to find the thing that you're like, what? Really, where do I want to put my energy? And a lot of times it's figuring out what upsets you or what drives you or what have you experienced in your life that you want to help solve. So if that is, you want to help women get more educated so that they can free themselves of different challenges that they're having, or you want to help small businesses, because that's an issue that you have dealt with before, and it's something that is near and dear to your heart, and you're in every single day and you have access to the people that you could help. Like, really getting clear on how your personal life is the thing that could impact the thing that you actually care about. So the importance of limits is a lot, like, value clarification and just getting really clear on what you want to care about and letting everything else go like you actually can't care about it if you want to care about the things that matter. Number three, responsibility and ownership. In his book, he advocates for taking responsibility for your own life instead of playing victim. He encourages readers to own their choices, actions, and consequences, fostering a sense of empowerment so responsibility and ownership over your own life. And I think for me, this one really plays into when we're taking responsibility of our own life, we stop caring about what actually happened. Like, this happened to me. That happened to me. I'm blaming this person. I'm blaming that person. Because when we start focusing on the responsibilities that we can take and ownership of our life. We stop putting our energy on trying to figure out why something happened, and we actually start creating a life and really working with what we have.

Right?

We start turning all of those things that we thought were problems or we start turning the things that we thought were negatives into positives and into our strengths. So when we stop blaming other people, we stop giving less fucks about them and we start really caring about creating something in our life. So number four, embracing life's uncertainties. He says life is inherently uncertain, and he suggests embracing this fact rather than resisting it. Accepting the inevitability of challenges and focusing on how you respond to them is crucial for personal growth. So embracing life's uncertainties. I've just recorded two other podcasts before this one, really talking about how the person who is going to be the most successful is the one who's the most adaptable. The person who's most successful is the one who is most comfortable with uncertainties because the one thing that the world is most is uncertain. So you can start really embracing life's uncertainties by getting really grateful for what you have and focusing on what you, you do have and trying to make sure that you live a really good day rather than just so focused on a goal. And I know that that sounds crazy because I'm so freaking ambitious and goal oriented, but you absolutely. While I have these big goals and these big ambitions, I also, every single day, I'm like, I also need this day, this freaking Monday. I need this Monday or whatever is right now to be great. And what can I do to enjoy this day? Even if life blows up, even if there's a million shit sandwiches that I have to eat, what are a few things that I'm going to do to really embrace today and make it great? And it helps me to stop focusing on the small stuff and really give way, way more attention to the big things and pull all my energy from the small stuff. They said this. They said that. I don't care. This person cut me off. I don't care. Like, things did not go my way. Yeah, they're not going to. I'm not gonna latch into it and let that take my energy because I don't have energy for it. I know where I want my energy to go, and it's absolutely not there. And these were not wrongs against you. I think this is where people get really bent out of shape, is they're like, they did this to me and the world's doing this to me and traffic's doing this to me. No it's not. It's just doing what it's always done. And so if you can let it go, you're gonna have a great life. If you can't, your life will suck ass. And that is a guarantee. All right, Number five, the feedback loop from hell. He introduces this concept of the feedback loop from hell where negative thoughts and emotions reinforce each other. And breaking this cycle is just going to involve changing your mindset. This is just all about what are you focusing on. And I don't know about you, but I freaking love those memes where they're like day three of arguing with that stranger I bumped into at Starbucks and I think I really have him on the ropes. This is what we're talking about. Where what argument or made up scenario are you living in your head or what bad experience from your life where someone put you down? Are you reliving this experience of someone harming you or hurting you and wishing you could go back and show them and hurt them back and and make them feel what you felt? You're in the feedback loop from hell that you cannot win. Your enemy is free. Like, they don't think about you, they don't care. They're onto their new victim. You need to absolutely let go because the feedback loop from hell will keep you poor, sad and unhealthy.

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So you have to get out of that feedback loop of your life. And this is going to take so much effort every single day. You guys. I get stuck in feedback loops all of the time, but I also know how to get out and I get out very quickly. So these feedback loops from hell will approach you probably daily, maybe more. Some of you are going to have this multiple, multiple times a day in the beginning, but I'll tell you that now. I am so good at going, oop, I don't want to think about that. What do I want to think about? That's literally what I say. It's not that hard, but doing it and making it stick is a challenge. But if you can just literally go, oh, I caught myself. I don't want to be thinking about that. I'm in the feedback loop from hell. What do I want to be thinking about? What am I grateful for? What do I want to focus on? What action should I take right now to get me out of this? Right, because action cures anxiety, and action also gets you out of the feedback loop from hell. Number six, learn to say no. No is a super powerful skill. No also obviously makes room for your yeses, and no frees up the energy that you need to focus on what matters to you. So I'm getting really clear, more and more clear every single year. Who do I want to spend my time with? What, for me, is just like, no, I'm not gonna go have coffee with you because I don't see a relationship in the future. And that's not how I say it, but that is what is happening in my brain is I'm not gonna go do all of these one offs because they are distracting me from my big vision. They're distracting me from learning a new skill set that I'm going to give to my big vision. They're distracting me from spending time with a loved one. They're distracting me from the alone time that I need in order to get the creative ideas that I need. Like, just because you have time doesn't mean you need to fill it with something that you don't want to do. Like, this needs to be so incredibly clear to you. You need to get fierce with your nose. And number seven, the last one that I want to talk about is just accepting flaws and imperfections. And he talks about perfection being really unattainable. And he encourages readers to not only embrace their own flaws and imperfections, but also of other people. And I can tell you, the more that I've been able to embrace the fact that I have a lot of things that I don't love about myself. I was just doing it on our own walk this morning. I was really saying, I was listening to this amazing podcast with Chris. We had an earbud in each earbud in each ear. And I was talking about how the person we were listening to was just so smart, and he retains so much knowledge. And I'm like, wow, I can't believe the memory on this guy. And it must be so nice to read these books and actually retain them, because I really struggle with retaining and feeling like I'm smart. Like, I can read and read and not feel like I can't reflect back certain things that I have learned and read and Afterward I was like, you know what? I guess that's just not who I am. And maybe it's a gift that I don't do that. Maybe it keeps me from doing something. Maybe I wouldn't speak so off the cuff. Maybe I wouldn't speak from such an emotional place where I think that I can really connect deeply with people. If I remembered all of these facts and details, maybe it is keeping me in a zone of genius. That's even better that I'm not able to do that. And so really learning how to flip your what you think is a negative for you into a positive, and learning to accept flaws and imperfections of yourself faster and just focusing on what you are good at and strengthening the things that. That you could see that you could strengthen even more. So that's something that has really freed me up. The older that I get is I'm like, look, I'm good at just these three things over here, and I'm going to get really, really good at them. And I'm going to let it be okay that I'm not good at any of these other things. And that's all right, because ultimately, that is how God has planned the world. If we were good at everything, we wouldn't need each other. And I believe what happens is that we're all good at certain things and we're supposed to find each other and connect because relationships are what this life is all about. And without needing those connections and those skill sets, I think why would we even have needs for relationships? And I think the benefit of relationships is getting those different skill sets and assets in each person and being able to admire and honor them in each person, because we don't all have them. So if you haven't noticed, this is probably why you really value certain people. You're just so grateful and you're so honored to be around someone who's so good at that thing. So really think of that. Because someone's looking at you that way even when you don't know it. They're thinking you're so good at a certain thing, and they're really honored and grateful to have you in their lives. So, you guys, I'm so grateful for you. I hope that this helps you in the new year and at the time this podcast is coming out, I know that we have really limited, low stock on glossy. It might be gone. I told you, we placed a very small order for our first order. And you can also get on that wait list. I'm telling you, these ingredients are absolutely insane. If you want incredible glowing skin and you just want one great habit this year to help you hydrate, to feel better, to really see improvements in your skin, which I know I want all of that and I want to make sure I'm on top of of all of that, especially as I'm getting older. You can go to getglosy.com it may be sold out. 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