How to Regulate Your Nervous System and Feel Better Fast with Liz Tenuto

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My main goal is that women are no longer held back by their past stress or trauma. With really ambitious women, we're kind of absorbing more stress than the average person, especially if you want a big life, a big successful business. Somatics is like this really great tool to be able to use to manage that stress so it doesn't overtake your life.

Liz, welcome to the podcast.

Thank you, Lori.

I'm so excited to have you on. We got to meet a while ago, maybe like 6 months ago. Yeah, a little mastermind event that was at my house, and I immediately loved you.

Same.

Number one, you're so stylish, so I was like, okay, whatever is going on there, I need to like get all the outfit deets and everything. So that was my first That was my first attractor. And then I got to know you and I'm like, wait, she's amazing. You've just got such incredible, like, comforting energy.

Thank you.

And you're smart. You are just like one of— like, you're a magnet.

Thank you so much. I appreciate that.

It's going to be so great for your book tour, which is awesome.

Thank you. I felt immediately comfortable around you too, so I appreciate that.

And we both have Broncos, which is exciting.

I know. That was the instant bonding point. I know.

I know. If you don't under— it's almost like a Jeep thing. Especially when it's made by this certain company that we both love, which is Vintage Bronco. And we're very, very obsessed with them and their pages. So anyway, there's a lot. My husband was like, who's got the Bronco? I was like, she's really cool. You're going to love her. And the more that I kind of just got to know your world, the more I learned that all of my friends love you. And I was like, wait, where's this woman been in my life? I think I'm going to, like, I selfishly feel like this podcast is also really for me because I feel like right now in my life I could really use what you do. So we're gonna get into that.

Great.

Because I think anyone and everybody listening, this is such an important topic that's going to help you deal with stress. It's gonna help have a lot of answers for you. It's gonna, I mean, I think when you come from a place as a founder or as a business person, when you can have a more neutral, grounded energy, that you're just going to make far better decisions.

Absolutely.

And feel better about your life and maybe love your business again.

Absolutely.

And yourself and your relationships.

Yeah, it makes you more successful too, for sure.

Okay, so let's get into that. Tell me about somatics, which is what you do and what you've built your business off of. What is it for everybody listening? And then how did you start getting into it?

So somatics are— soma is the Greek word for body.

Okay.

And somatics are literally just like these really tiny micro movements that you can do in bed or on the floor that regulate your nervous system, release stress and tension out of your body.

Okay. How did you start discovering it? Like, this is— this is like your life and your life's work. And you have a book out now.

Yeah.

When the Body Speaks. How Somatic Healing Sets You Free, which I mean, that to go that deep on one particular topic, what made you do that?

Yes. So I initially discovered somatics through my dance teacher. I was a ballet dancer and I had also been studying Pilates, so I was very deep in the movement world already. My ballet teacher noticed that I was very dissociated when I wasn't dancing, and I knew that I had PTSD at the time. And she suggested that I come to her somatics class. And I was very skeptical because I was like, we're just rolling on the floor like in our pajamas. Like, I was kind of logical at that time.

And you're like a ballerina. Yeah.

I was like, this doesn't feel, you know, this doesn't feel like it's going to do anything.

Right.

And I was really shocked because it was really— I had tried a lot of different modalities, physical therapy, chiropractors, like alternative healing, acupuncture.

To deal with PTSD.

To deal with PTSD. And I had like, I barely slept, and I— then I was starting to develop chronic pain. And I was really surprised because somatics worked really well for me immediately. I went back to her class once a week, and after 4 sessions, my insomnia, which I had struggled with for like a decade, was almost gone.

Wow.

And once I started sleeping well, that was a really big catalyst for my body to heal. Too, because that's when your body repairs itself and it's just like such a foundational part of health. And then I kept studying with her and I have a background in psychology from school and I was like, I'm going to blend movement and healing and psychology and really devote my life to this. And, and it's been my focus ever since. Wow.

So you had PTSD for a long period of time and you had struggled with it and tried a bunch of other— you had tried a ton of other things.

Yeah. Yeah. I, I would say I probably started getting PTSD around 7 or 8. I didn't really know what CPTSD is, which is complex PTSD, which is actually the correct diagnosis for, for what I went through.

But can you share what you went through?

Yeah. Yeah. I'm, I'm a sexual assault survivor from childhood. And so it happened between ages like 7 to 11 in one case, and then one single incident when I was 14. So I knew that I had PTSD, but I didn't know what CPTSD was until I started doing more intensive therapy in my early 20s.

So that was showing up for you like insomnia.

Mm-hmm.

How else was that showing up in your life? Were you feeling like held back in different ways?

Yeah. I mean, I had been like a really good student when I was really young. And then as the trauma kept happening, I started like not being able to focus anymore. My reading comprehension started to change. I kind of felt like I was like, I guess I like labeled myself in high school as like I felt like I was getting kind of stupid. And, you know, that's not the best way to talk to myself. I know that now, but I was really young and I didn't have any support. Support at the time. I had gone to my high school counselor and told them, and they just kind of handed me a pamphlet for PTSD and told me I could come and sit in their office when I needed to. But there was no, like, real coaching or mentorship or dialogue. So I didn't have much support when I was younger, and I really spent my 20s seeking out that support, trying different modalities to try to heal, because I knew that my, like, my body felt really bad, and I, and my, I, like, my mental health, I was so anxious all the time, I was so hypervigilant, I was very dissociated too. And so I just knew, like, something's deeply wrong and I don't want to live like this long term.

When did you start to realize, like, was it the class? So was it maybe like ballet and moving your body? Did you start to notice that you felt better when you moved? Like, when I was younger, I had a lot of different things happen, and I got really drawn to, like, working out because it was some of the only times that I felt, like, a little less anxiety, maybe a little more inside my body. Like, otherwise, I just— it, it's always, like, you know, so much energy going on and just discomfort and, like, wanting to get it out. When did you start to relate, oh, I feel better when I move But then going even more micro into I feel better when I move this way.

Mm-hmm. I had been a dancer from childhood, so luckily I was already in dance when everything started happening and dance kind of became my safe place.

So then really danced?

Yeah. Yeah. And it was, you know, it was like this place where I was like, oh, I do feel so much better. Like what you said after class, I felt great. My brain was clear, I felt happier. You know, dance is such a beautiful way of expressing your emotions nonverbally. So I felt like I really had this outlet for all of that. Something about dance culture, especially like ballet culture, felt kind of like hardcore and abusive to me still. And so when I started doing somatics after my first lesson— somatics is really about like reconnecting your mind and your body and establishing a sense of agency and listening to your body. And you're really guided to like choose what feels good for you in the moment. There's no right, there's no wrong. And that just brought me a tremendous amount of relief. I remember my body like literally tingling and like felt warm. And yeah, I just like cried after I tried it because it was after your first class. Yeah.

And you just felt— what did it— was it like— and you said tingling and warm, but was it like a release of like when you left? Were you like, how did that work? What were you thinking about it?

I mean, I think it was just such a different type of environment and a different type of approach to learning and to my body than I had ever experienced before. I was— before I was like very focused on like these very disciplined forms of movement, like ballet. I was also a contemporary dancer. Contemporary dance is a lot more free, but I also really like working out. I like Pilates too. And, you know, there's form, there's technique, and I like all of that. I really do. But the freedom that I felt in somatics was brand new for me physically and also like emotionally as well. Like, I felt respected in the class and I was so young at the time. I was 22 when I started somatics and I was like, I don't think I've ever felt like my choices mattered or what I wanted, you know, what I wanted to do with my body was even considered prior to that.

Let's talk a little bit before we really dive in. I was just asking you earlier, I'm like, hey, I like in the past I heard of the book The Body Keeps Score and it was years ago when I learned about it. I didn't read the whole book, but I read enough to kind of understand the concept. Like, hey, something happens to you, your body has a memory of it, it can come back. To you later and it can start to, you know, maybe your left hip is going to drive you crazy. Maybe you're going to experience certain pain. And there are ideas out there that it's like everything that's ever happened to you has been stored in your body and you're going to feel it. Like if you have a consistent back problem or a consistent knee problem, can you explain a little bit about that?

Yeah, absolutely. The Body Keeps the Score is like the foundational book in somatics, and it's so important. And essentially your body has has 4 stages in its biological stress response. So you perceive the stressor, that travels through your brain, and it goes down through your limbic system in your brain, and then it goes into your adrenal glands, which like spikes your cortisol, which gets you into that biological stress response of fight, flight, or freeze. Normally, if the stress is new and you haven't experienced a lot of stress, or if it's not like a significant traumatic event, you'll go into fight or flight.

Okay.

And fight or flight isn't a bad thing when you're in an emergency, right? Like, but the problem is if you're living in fight or flight long term, if your daily becomes fight or flight because you're in a really demanding environment or you're in a toxic relationship or you have too much stress, too much responsibility, not enough support, you can go into fight or flight and just kind of live in that state. And then other people experience freeze, which is deeper on the dysregulation spectrum, and that can happen after a traumatic event. So a lot of women, if they experience sexual assault, they'll freeze during the moment as a protective response because they're in shock and they don't know what to do. Yeah, but freeze can also happen if you've been through so much stress for such a long time that you kind of burn out of fight or flight, and then you get into freeze or functional freeze where you shut down. You feel numb, you feel lethargic, you're having a hard time getting out of bed. You're like emotionally disconnected. Maybe you're responding to people with one-word answers. So what's interesting about movement is that it finalizes your biological stress response. So we have the perception of the stress that travels into the brain, the cortisol spikes, you get dysregulated, fight, flight, or freeze. And then movement is actually a way to discharge the stress, to release the stress out of your body. And this is evolutionary. So like back in the day, if you got chased by a bear, you're going to run or you're going to fight. So you're moving to, you know, finalize that stress response. And now in modern society, it feels like getting like an email sometimes, you know, and that'll, that'll kick off the fight or flight response. But we don't quite understand what's going on with our bodies. We're like, why do I feel so overwhelmed after getting this email? And then we don't know the tools to like bring us back to our baseline either. Mm.

It's such a good description. And I think everybody can think about right now after sitting at your computer for a long day, that's the majority of all of our work. Even if you have a job that you love, you're probably going to be at your computer doing Zoom or something, getting a lot of different news, getting a lot of different inputs throughout the day. And it's like, I don't know about you, but I think I know about you because we're all the same. It's like 5 or 6 or 7 PM hits and you're just like frustrated. Like you just have this feeling of frustration and you're like upset. You, you need to like move around. For me, if I do not walk in the evening, like I just— so everybody knows how human it is, like you get weird. I get weird. I get, I get frustrated. I feel stressed. I have this, like, I would say my main word that I keep saying, like, obviously is frustration.

Yeah.

I just feel like I want to throw something.

Yeah.

But I'm also just upset with my life over nothing.

Right.

It's, it's if I don't move.

Yeah.

Like we are meant to move through that.

Absolutely.

So you create these different movements in order to kind of dissolve all of these things that we've been through, whether it's a, you know, a rough day with some rough emails or if it's trauma that's been stored in your body. Okay. I love this.

Exactly.

That's great. So this is mainly what you focus on for people. And I know, you know, you have a massive, um, Instagram page which we have linked up called The Workout Witch.

Yeah.

Um, which I need to dig into that name. I think you told me once. Yes, I need to learn, but I love it. Now it's like everybody remembers you. And now you've written this incredible book that's going to help people through all of these different experiences.

Yeah, yeah.

Would you say that you feel like now that you have so many tools to move through whatever it is that you're going through?

Yeah, I mean, I feel like it is kind of my lifeline. So it is because I've gone through so much. My baseline is different. So the amount of stress that I can tolerate without feeling overwhelmed or shut down is smaller than a person who hasn't experienced as much trauma in their life. Yeah. And that's just how your nervous system works. When you go through a lot young, it gets kind of imprinted and that becomes your baseline. And it is harder to move into regulation for people who've been through a lot when they're younger, just because of how the nervous system develops. So for me, like, having these tools is so helpful because sometimes I'll notice, oop, I'm feeling like, you know, frustrated, and then I can do a quick 2-minute exercise and then I'm back at my baseline and I feel good. And I love the exercises because I can like do them anytime, anywhere. I don't need equipment. I do them on the plane. I do them while I wait in line sometimes.

No, they're so powerful because, you know, for years it's like, well, God, I require this like 30-minute walk.

Yes.

All the time. And it's— that feels— that can feel like a lot on top of an already long day, right? To be like, God, it takes me 30 minutes to feel normal. Yes. Before I should talk to people I love.

Yes, absolutely. And walking is incredible because you're actually— you're getting bilateral stimulation. Which helps with emotional processing. And it's the same tool that's used in EMDR therapy. So walking is an incredibly powerful tool, but you do need to walk for like 20+ minutes to get—

to start feeling it. I know. Is that— this is so interesting. I had— and I don't know if you know, but I was on a walk and, you know, EMDR is the back and forth with your eyes. And I was like, I wonder if walking— because you scan, you continually scan your horizon because it's It's like healing. Walking is healing.

Exactly.

And it's because of the different back and forth.

Back and forth with the eyes.

Oh, the bilateral.

Yeah. And the even steady rhythm of your body.

I'm telling you, I say to my friends who like, you know, maybe they don't ever really walk and I was like, no, I want to write a book that's like how to heal your life. And every single page will say, take a walk.

I love that.

Go take a walk. Walk it out. Yeah, there's so many things, but What I am loving about what you do though, is you don't have to do that because there's a lot of people listening right now who are like, um, I don't have that luxury. Like I don't get to just go leave my kids. I don't get to just stop in the middle of the day. And this is really big cuz my days are long and hectic right now. So I wanna talk about what we can do in the middle of that, but we're gonna dig in. But I wanna know what kind of research, uh, or preparation did you undertake to bridge the gap between scientific concepts and your accessible and practical exercises.

Yeah, I'd say that I went through like two major periods of trauma in my life. First, when I was younger, and after that, then that's when I was really doing a lot of academic study. I, you know, have a psychology degree. I was getting certified in somatics. I was studying under a mentor, and I was getting really practical hands-on teaching experience. So I've been teaching for like 15 years, But then I, in COVID, went through like a really bad divorce, realized that my husband was like not who I thought he was and was really, really deeply scared. And I left that marriage. But I like— it was such a big trauma for me that I kind of went back into studying somatics, but, but from such a more experiential place. Place, because prior to that, my life was kind of cool. Like, I had hit my stride, everything was good. And then when I experienced trauma again, I really shut down. I couldn't get out of bed. And so I started really diving into the exercises for myself as a way of healing. And that's how I started posting on social media, was I would post one exercise per day on TikTok. I had zero followers, and it was really just to hold me accountable to doing the exercises. It was almost like a journal, like an online diary.

Totally.

And, you know, if you look at the early videos, you can tell I'm really struggling. I'm really going through stuff. I had lost a lot of weight. You know, there's like bags under my eyes and it was very raw and vulnerable, but it like took off and I was not expecting that. And so I think really posting on social media is what helped me take these really intellectual concepts and, and like make them super accessible for people because I didn't want to make it inaccessible. I didn't want to make healing something that was super expensive or really hard to understand. I was really trying to break it down into these bite-sized nuggets that people could just scroll and like catch a 15-second thing and learn something about themselves.

It's always so— it's always crazy to hear, but also awesome to hear, like when people are in it, it's such a it doesn't feel like a powerful place, but it's often the most powerful place.

Yeah.

Because that is the place where you are, you are speaking to people. Like when you are in the middle of it, you know, you said when your life is cool and it's all these things. Yeah, you can totally catch a stride in that. But I am telling you, there's nothing more powerful than when you're in the eye of the storm and when you've gone through multiple storms.

Yes.

To be able to feel massive purpose. So not saying you have to have that to go right through it, but also I think everyone listening has probably been through something like that.

Yeah.

To really realize that you get to— you, you serve your, your past self.

Yes.

Or even your present self. Like, you probably serve your present self a lot, you know, serving that audience of people.

Yeah, yeah. It was, um, you know, something I was not expecting for my account to take off like that, but it was just— I think it really took off so fast in that moment because it was so real, it was so authentic, and people could really relate.

Mm-hmm. Okay, so let's talk about some of the things that your work touches on, because you could really have focused on anything that you want, but I'm sure you kept seeing a few common themes. It sounds like there were a lot of conditions like insomnia, IBS, um, cognitive issues. What did you decide to really focus on and why?

I started really focusing on hips and the— and trauma release. Um, and the reason why I started with that was because I was really going through trauma and really trying to release it out of my body at that time. But it's also kind of the foundation for bringing yourself back into a regulated state. So if you're holding a lot of stress and you're holding a lot of trauma or tension in your body, you need to kind of release all of that first before you can expect to be like emotionally regulated all the time and physically regulated all the time and reduce all of these symptoms. So that was my first course that I offered, was called, um, Release Stress and stored trauma. It was my best— it's like still one of my best-selling courses. It's kind of like the backbone of my business and a lot of people's entry point into the work that I do.

Okay, so a lot of the things that you discuss, and we kind of touched on this just a little bit, but I want to dig in, uh, a little more, is the functional freeze. Yeah, so being connected to chronic stress and gut issues, which are huge. That's— I feel like that's all we hear about.

Yeah.

Can you talk about this relationship and its implications for healing?

Yeah, absolutely. So we have fight, flight, and then freeze. And in between that is functional freeze. Functional freeze, a lot of women experience if they're really stressed out for a really long time.

Yeah.

So it essentially means that you can like go through your day. Yeah. You can function. You're maybe even really high functioning during the day. You might have—

No, I feel like this is me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You might have a great career.

Yeah.

Like you might be like a a total boss. You might be really great at running your family or in school and excelling, but then when you get home or you're alone, you kind of crash out. Like, you are on the couch for 4 hours, or you're in bed. Like, even small things like deciding what to eat at night feels like a lot. Like, you're just kind of exhausted. And then you get up the next day and you do it again. So you kind of burn all your energy during the day to be functional because we kind of have to be, right? And then at night you're trying to— you crash out in an effort to like protect you, to conserve your energy so that you can do it again the next day.

And what are some of the things that right away when people— I'm sure when you talk about like right away, I was like, yeah, I, I'm, I'm actually there right now.

Yeah, yeah, totally.

I'm just honestly there. Yeah. Because I've been in a state of like trying to grow multiple things at once for a long period of time.

Yeah.

And it kind of feels like even some of the restful things I try to do, it's like I can't find rest.

Yes.

Can't find rest, can't find peace. There's just a lot going on in my head. How do you start to work with somebody like that when you're like, okay, we, we, we have the diagnosis, you know, this is you.

Yeah.

What are some of the things you can start doing in your life? Because honestly, anything extra to me, I'm just like, will this really work? And when do I do this?

Totally, totally. I think the first thing is to just give yourself that permission to crash out and not feeling bad about it because it's really a protective response for your body. And it's like really okay if you don't have hobbies while you're in that state or if you like, don't feel like socializing while you're in that state. Like it's okay to conserve your energy if you're in functional freeze. And a lot of women will feel bad about that just because we're used to like a lot of pressure.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah. Wanting people to like you.

Yeah. And be successful. And there's just a lot of things that we're managing. So step one is just really letting yourself crash out. It's okay. You don't have to do stuff that you like. Like, it's okay. Just— Yeah, it's okay if you're watching Netflix for 4 hours every night. Don't worry. And then step two is to start to do these really tiny movements in bed. That start to release some of the stress out of your body. And as you start discharging the stress, you start to get more energy because you start to take your body out of its physiological survival state, out of the freeze. We call it, we call it thawing. So like really gentle movement will thaw your body. And once you start to get your body out of that state, it starts to kind of translate up into your mind and how you behave. It's just like a really easy, simple way of bringing yourself back into a more regulated state.

You're using all the right words for me.

Yes.

Easy, simple bed.

Yes, exactly.

And like 8 p.m., I'm going to go to bed now.

Yeah.

And I'm like, I go to bed early, but when you're in it, it's like I have to shut down. Like, I can't. I'm overloaded.

Yeah.

So, okay. So in bed, explain to me like what some of those moves look like. You don't have to explain in depth, but like for anybody who hasn't heard of this or seen your page, like what does this entail?

Yeah, so the first thing that I would start with would be like really gentle hip rocking. So you can be laying on your stomach with your hands kind of, um, stacked on top of each other and your arms in a V-shape, forehead on your hands, and you can just start to rock your hips right to left in bed, and you want to do it in the laziest, least ambitious way possible.

More great words.

Yes. My mentor used to say, like, could you drool as you're doing this movement? And you only do it for about a minute. And that is just a little bit of bilateral stimulation that's going to start to release some tension. It's going to start to bring you back into regulation. And I do— I really start with people with really gentle rocking movements. For like the first few days because it's very soothing.

And then does it accelerate?

It doesn't accelerate in pace, but it does kind of— we call it titration. It does kind of accelerate in terms of like the depth that you're working with your nervous system. So at first we're kind of working more with the muscles and more of the superficial layers of the body to just release tension. And then we start to go into the nervous system and that's where we'll do like some ear pulling and some vagus nerve stimulation.

Okay. And then is this something that you still do every single day? Do you hold yourself to it every day?

I would say I do like 5 to 10 minutes, 5 to 6 days a week.

Okay.

So for me, like work, like I definitely do it on the workdays.

Yeah. Yeah. I could see how this would be a great afternoon thing.

Yeah.

Let's talk about that because A lot of people are going to relate to hitting just an energy slump. You know, even if we're doing things we love, we still have to do a lot of things we don't love.

Yeah.

And so in the afternoon, most likely you're hitting a little bit of a wall no matter what. What are some things that we can— I know you had chatted about a 1-minute exercise.

Yeah.

You could do to get energy.

Yeah.

You want to try it? Yeah.

Let's do it. Okay, great. So we're going to sit mid-chair.

Okay.

I'm going to move this a little bit. We'll sit mid-chair and we want our ankles to just be hip distance apart.

Okay.

And then you're going to take your right hand and grab a hold of your ear and you want to pull your ear up really firmly. Yeah, a little bit higher. So we're grabbing like the top corner of the ear. Yep. And we want to just think about the belly relaxing, shoulders relaxing. Okay. And you can open and close your mouth a couple of times. It's going to look really weird.

Great.

It's not like pretty. Yeah. If you really knew me, none of this is weird. It's really weird. And then we'll just rest our hands so we don't get tired. And then we'll grab the ear again with the right hand. We're going to have a little space in between our teeth so we're not clenching the jaw. And we're just going to start to dip the ear a little bit side to side. So just gentle in the laziest, least ambitious way possible. How relaxed can the jaw be? And you're having a nice firm pull up on the ear. Yeah, exactly. And we're just almost like you're pouring water out of your ear after swimming, but in a relaxed way. Yeah. We'll just do like 1 or 2 more. You can stop at any point if that feels better for you. And then we'll take the hand off the ear. And it takes like a couple of seconds to settle. But you may notice that you feel a little bit lighter. I do feel like a little better. Yeah. Yeah.

I've been podcasting all day, which I love. I'm obsessed with, and I feel like I got a little reset.

Yeah. And then so then you would do the same thing on the other side. Okay.

Amazing.

Yeah.

What is it about? What is it about the ears?

Yeah. So they connect to the vagus nerve.

Okay.

The vagus nerve is the longest cranial nerve in your body, and it's responsible for, like, gut-brain communication. It's responsible for a lot of the— for kind of controlling a lot of the automatic systems of your body. And when you're really stressed, it can start to shut down. And that's why a lot of people experience, like, gut issues when they're really stressed out. They might have IBS symptoms, they might have bloating. Essentially, your body goes into, like, survival physiology and it deprioritizes things like digestion, which feels like— it feels like that should be part of our, like, not the smartest move. Yeah. Like, but, but, you know, again, our nervous systems are evolutionary and they're very, very old. And so, like, when we were, like, cave people, you know, digestion wasn't as important as maybe, like, fighting off another tribe of people or, uh, animal. So it deprioritizes digestion, and that's why a lot of people will feel like random stomachaches or new food sensitivities, or like they're bloated all the time, or they wake up and they're like, their face is puffy. It's part of the inflammatory response of the body.

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I really, yeah, I really was. Yeah. And that's part of the reason why I call myself the Workout Witch. Yeah. Because it's such weird stuff.

Yeah, that's great.

Like, I like, just rock your hips in bed, just pull on your ear and like tilt your head a little. And people are always like, girl, this is so bizarre. And then they're like, oh, it feels so good and it's so unexpected. And it feels like, again, you know, when I started, I was like, this isn't going to work.

And my mom got into reflexology for a while on the feet, and I was just like blown away by, you know, what, what people have believed and learned for thousands of years.

Yeah.

And that we've just like turned a blind eye to.

Yes. Like, you know, the ancient cultures really knew what they were doing in terms of movement, in terms of healing. And in a lot of ways, like somatics is also rooted in how ancient cultures moved. Tribes of people used to like— whirling dervish was like spinning. You know, there were tribes of people that would kind of like do this like undulation movement to do emotional processing or grief. Processing altogether. So in a lot of ways, somatics has really looked to movements in ancient cultures and tried to see like, how can we adapt that for modern society?

If you think about it, like, we, we don't give ourselves any— we don't have any time.

Yeah.

Back in the day, pick whatever day you want, hundreds or thousands of years ago, they had time.

Yeah.

To kind of go, what What would feel good right now? Or how would we work through this problem if this is happening in our body?

Yeah.

Or how about we try some stuff because we don't have a doctor, right? You know, so it was very much like I— and I think that we are— we're all naturally so intuitive. But— and I'm sure that that came to them like, you know what, let's pull our ears, right?

Let's try it.

Something's telling me to pull my ear. Yeah. And the problem now is that we are we just block everything out. And we also, like, even in this conversation, like, it's become more weird to try to feel good.

Yes.

Than it is to feel bad.

Yes.

And so I think that just opening up the conversation of like, no, this— it's actually more normal to go do these modalities to feel better than it is to like go try a medication, not even know what it is, and just try to keep numbing, you know?

Yeah. Exactly. Or like for me, I would do like a 12— I was such like a perfectionist. I would do like a 12-step, like super intense wellness routine before I discovered somatics. And my teacher was like, why are you putting yourself through all that? Just like, go like this with your feet.

Yeah.

Okay.

That's one thing right now too, that the reason that I think— well, the reason I know that you're so popular too is it's simple things that you can do.

Yeah.

And I know for me, even just watching these like get ready with me and morning routines, I'm like, I, I can wash my face. Yes, I can put makeup on. Yes, this is what we're doing. And I think there's so much in our life that it is so stressful to me to think of a really long wellness routine. Yeah. So I've always loved walking and I'm like, okay, well, how can we just eat well and maybe take a supplement that has a lot of stuff all in it?

Yes.

Yeah, because I get really overwhelmed.

Yeah. Yeah. I think simplifying our wellness is actually really an important step, and I think it's going to become more important as we get more inundated with tech because we're already overwhelmed with like notifications, like all the different places that I need to check, like Slack and my email and Instagram and like, you know, it's just a lot. And I think if then we take that same approach to feeling better. We're just putting ourselves through so much effort and force, and that's not really how you heal.

Like, I totally agree, you know, and no shade on wellness influencers because it is literally their job. Find, find the thing within the stack that, that they're— of 20 that they're doing that could work for you.

Yes.

And I think it's that reasoning of, is this making me feel more stressed out?

Yep.

Cuz I know I used to do like a 20-minute meditation, then I would try to do these different routines with my face and then like rolling. I was like, I am so stressed out and I feel like such a failure if I don't do them, right? I was like, oh, this is making me feel way worse. Like, what do I actually want to do? I want to take a little walk.

Yes.

I want to call it a day.

Yes. I, I feel that so much.

I want to massage my face for a second if I want to. If I don't, I don't. Yeah. And that's been like life-changing for me. So I love that you've given so much to pick and choose from. And that, that's the— even just the way that you're talking, I think is really important for us to hear. I don't think we, I don't think we get a lot of that. Just like, the easiest you can do.

Yeah.

The gentlest you can start. I think that conversation is lacking because in the beginning when people feel this freeze, you don't have anything.

No. Yeah.

To start at all. You have nothing left. So even to go, you want to watch Netflix for 4 hours?

Do it. Yes.

Just pull on your ear for 30 seconds.

Yes, exactly. I love it.

So I love that. Okay, we're going to talk sleep. It's one of my favorite topics.

Yeah.

What sleep positions say that you're stressed?

There are several. One is T-Rex arms where you're, you're laying on your side and your arms are curled with your wrists tucked in and your wrists are right underneath your chin like this, and that's a protective response. So it's just a signal that your body is in its stress response. Another is like an extreme fetal position where your knees— you're lying on your side and your knees are really, really curled in tight. It's another protective response. And then one that's really common for ambitious women, for smart women, is what I call the mountain climber, which is when you're on your stomach and you have one knee bent and your head turned towards that knee. And that is kind of like you're activated, you're sleeping in this activated state, you're in this mobilized state, you're ready to go at any moment. Hmm.

Does each sleep position kind of say where you're at in your life or how you're feeling? For instance, maybe people who sleep on their back.

So folks that are lying on their back are normally in a pretty regulated state. So lying on your back with your arms extended and your legs extended or lying on your side with your knees bent but not in like an extreme fetal position are both signs that you're pretty regulated and you're not really like stuck in your biological stress response while you're asleep. So a lot of people don't really realize that you can be so stressed that you're still stressed out in your sleep and your body's still holding stress in your sleep. So if you clench your jaw, for example, while you sleep and you wake up and you have jaw pain or you have TMJ or you're grinding your teeth, that's a sign that you're in fight or flight while you're asleep. Same thing with the mountain climber where you're on your stomach, you have one knee bent and your head towards that knee. It's a mobilized state. So you're just like ready to take action any time. Very common for high-achieving women, very common for highly intelligent women, very common for new moms. And then there are other positions like where you're, you know, fully like lying on your stomach and you're like smushing your hands.

Okay.

And, you know, you're just really holding a lot of tension in your body. You're holding a lot of stress. In your body. And when you're in those stress sleep positions, you're not really getting full restorative sleep. Mm-hmm.

Okay. So I've never laid on my back.

Yeah, it feels— it feels like very rigid.

Feels bad. Yeah, really bad. Like when I— like Chris, my husband, sleeps on his back and I'm like, how? He sleeps on his side as well. Yeah, but he sleeps on his back a lot. And I actually like, even when I try it, And I've had some, you know, some different things done where you have had to sleep on my back, like different surgeries. And I'm like, oh, I have to sleep on my back, right? It's like the worst sleep I've ever gotten in my life. What are some things that you recommend for that that people can do to start? Do we start doing these exercises and all of a sudden am I going to become a back sleeper?

Yeah.

Or am I going to feel better on my stomach? Like, what happens?

Yeah. So I would say like most people will be able to either feel good on their side or on their back.

Okay.

But yeah, the way that I've trained, because I used to be a mountain climber, okay, as well. Okay. And the way that I've kind of taught my body how to not sleep in a stressed out position is by doing the exercises.

Interesting.

So I'll do the exercises for like 5 minutes before I go to bed. I'll do a little rocking, I'll do a little toe tapping, I'll do a little knee sway. And then I'm like, I just get so tired and I'm like, and then I just extend my legs and my arms and I fall asleep. Back sleeping I'm slightly partial to because I'm like a little vain.

And I was just going to say, look, I really need to switch it up because these wrinkles, we just got to— we got to flip it over.

Back sleeping is also the best for beauty. So, you know, side sleeping can— can—

trust me.

Yeah, it does. Yeah.

Yeah. So, you know, your face adds wrinkles.

Yeah. So either, either side sleeping or back sleeping are both great for physical and mental health and getting that restorative sleep. But like, I try to back sleep. I like the beauty element of it as well. Yeah.

And you're comfortable now doing it?

I'm comfortable now doing it.

Okay. And was it like in, did it feel like a slow progression? Because to my brain right now, I'm sure you can remember what that, I was like, I actually can't imagine.

Yeah.

That being comfortable, like me falling asleep in that position. Position.

Yeah, I mean, I think for me it was really about like almost tricking myself to fall asleep in that position because I was doing the movements, and then I was just like, uh, I'm tired. Yeah, okay, that's good.

Maybe I'll just get really tired from it.

Yeah, yeah, the movements themselves aren't tiring, but when you're already tired, you're in bed, you're doing these moves, they do make you more relaxed, and then you'll just kind of be like, uh, okay.

Yeah, I'm hopeful. Yeah, I want that beauty sleep too, you know what I mean?

Yeah, and my book actually has a sleep routine routine in it. So there are 3 exercises that you can do. They're the 3 that I do before I go to bed. Okay.

So in the book you have a bunch of different exercises linked to different, like, issues that people are dealing with.

Yeah. Okay. Gut issues has a little routine of 3 exercises, sleep issues, stress release, anger release. There are a few more as well.

What are some of the core things that you want people to take away from the book? Like, what are, you know, when you were writing it, you're like, this I pray like this gets through.

Your body isn't broken is a big one for me. And it is possible to heal your body and to feel a lot better. I think there's a lot of like pathologizing of women's bodies, and I think it's very common for us to be like, well, or like think like aging, like, oh, well, I'm over this age. Like, this is just lower back pain is what it is.

Yep.

But it really doesn't have to be that way. We just don't really know the tools to get ourselves back to our baseline where a lot of us are really storing a lot of emotion or stress in our bodies all the time, and we don't really have any way of releasing it. And at a certain point it just like stacks up and then it starts to become pain or gut issues or sleep issues.

Can you share just even like testimonials of someone who's been had something that they've been able to literally move through it with exercises?

I mean, sleep is a big one. So a lot of my students have sleep issues and then, you know, they'll do the exercises before bed and they'll be like, I'm sleeping well now. And sleep is such a foundational part of health.

Changes your life.

Yeah, it changes your life. And it's just— it really changes a lot of things. You start to be able to think more clearly. It changes your mood. I would say issues with mood like anxiety, depression, somatics is really, really helpful for reducing the symptoms of anxiety and depression. So it doesn't like if you're in like a toxic environment, for example, it won't take that away, but it will really help you not feel as wired or as shut down. In those situations to the point where you can connect to yourself enough to be able to be like, do I need to make a change? Do I need to get out of this environment? Because— or get out of this situation? Because sometimes we are just— we just get so stressed out and you get kind of stuck in like survival mode and overwhelm or in shutdown and you don't even have the capacity to think about how to change it. It's like you just keep going, like you're just day by day, like I just get through the day and that's all I have the capacity to do. It's quite common for people to not be able to make like medium or long-term plans in survival mode. So somatic exercises really help you regulate your nervous system. So you're back at that baseline where you do have that brain space and that capacity to be able to like think like, do I want to stay in this environment? Do I want to stay in this relationship?

Okay. I want to do— I want to do— because I'm just thinking of, like, comparable things that different people use, and I'd love for you to pick one or the other.

Yeah. Yeah.

So somatics or walking?

Ooh, that's a good one. Somatics. Okay. Because I have no time.

Great.

Yeah, but they're both fantastic.

Okay.

Big fan.

Okay. Somatics or lifting?

Ooh, I like— I do both as well.

Okay.

Um, somatics, because it's just— they have different goals.

For stress? For stress?

For stress.

Somatics or lifting for stress?

Somatics.

Okay. Somatics or therapy?

I like both too. Um, I think it depends on where you are in your healing journey. So, um, if you're in a place where you really need to intellectually understand why you're feeling a certain way, or you really need to kind of reframe what happened to you or take some blame off of yourself. Therapy. If you're in a place where you're like exhausted and you don't know why, you're constantly anxious, your body has all these like unexplained symptoms, you go to the doctor and they're like, it's stress. Somatics.

Okay, so somatics is a great spot. It's— it feels like a really great spot to kind of like start and start opening things up and obviously continue on, but it's almost like if you don't know what to do or you have this underlying problem that can start opening things up.

Yeah, absolutely.

Okay. I also wanna go back to talking about, um, what role social media had in like really figuring out what you were focusing on in your business because that is such, that's like the biggest, one of the biggest pieces of your business.

Yeah.

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Yeah, I am obsessively all up in my comments, all up in our DMs. I do have help with DMs and comments on the team, but I have the team send me patterns. We get about 200 DMs per day, so I'm really looking for patterns. If there's a lot of people asking me, you know, I have ringing in my ears, what can I do? Then I'll to make content and do research around that. Um, but I'm really— it's been really interesting and kind of fun because I've really developed all of my programs based on what my audience wants.

Which, you have a massive audience, and now there's no doubt in my mind you connect with people, you give them what they want, you comment, you're very like— you're very on the pulse. You probably would have never been able to build this business the way that you have.

No.

With it, which means that book is also very much on the pulse of what people need.

Yeah.

What are you most excited about for the book?

I'm really excited to, to be able to reach people that may not spend a lot of time on social media.

Mm-hmm.

Um, I feel like there are so many people that listen to podcasts who are also big book readers. Mm-hmm. And I'm just really excited to get the ideas of somatics into their hands through the book. The book is really almost intended to be kind of a moment of inspiration, like you can heal from all of this and just, you know, if people want to try the exercises, they can. If they don't, they don't need to. But reaching a lot of people that I can't really reach on social media is something I'm really excited about.

What would you say this does for— you know, you run in a circle of ambitious women as well. What would you say that you have seen somatics do for someone in business who does want a big life? Yeah, what have you seen happen?

Yeah, my main goal is that women are no longer held back by their past stress or trauma. With really ambitious women like we're kind of, we're kind of absorbing more stress than the average person, especially if you want a big life, a big successful business. It's inherently stressful. And so in that case, somatics is like this really great tool to be able to use to manage that stress so it doesn't overtake your life and you don't start to experience all of these physical symptoms from all of that. Stress, you can stay really grounded. I have noticed— I've worked— when I was working one-on-one, I pretty much primarily worked with very successful, ambitious women. And I have noticed that when they feel more grounded and when their body isn't stressed out, they give off like a different energy. There's this thing called mirror neurons, which is essentially when you're around someone who's regulated, you also feel more relaxed, more peaceful. And as a leader, that is like a really powerful way of leading. If you can make the people around you feel grounded and then if you can also make them feel inspired, like that's where you can start to like really kind of jump timelines and start to see your success open up exponentially.

That's so huge. And it, you know, anyone who's like, I'm not sure about all of this, but I'm sure all of you are leaning in to this podcast. But if you're not, you can, you can literally just think about how we've been in rooms with different people or different bosses throughout history that we've all probably had in the past, or people in general. And you're like, why do I not feel good around this person? Like, why are we all freaking out? Why are we all walking on eggshells? And then other people You know, you get around them and you're like, oh God, it just feels good. I just feel like I can be me. And I think when it's like, well, that's a regulated person.

Yeah, totally. And even as a business owner, if you have a team, like if people— if you're kind of super stressed all the time and like wired all the time and giving that energy down to the people that work for you, they might not stay as long with you as if you're providing like a grounded environment where they can feel safe and like, you know, you also want to have standards, right? Yeah. But you can do both at the same time. And for me, it's like providing that environment for people and then I don't have to hire all the time and they just stay. And it's like it is because hiring is a lot and it takes like 6 months for me at least until I feel like someone is really onboarded.

For sure.

And like in their flow and I don't really have to check in with them as much. But if you can just provide that environment, you're kind of like building this team that's a huge asset for you long term.

No, it— like doing these things for yourself is completely life-changing for yourself and your business.

Yeah.

I always think back, you know, when I have these conversations, I'm like, 10 years ago me, I'm like, how much of that could I have like saved those employees. Like, was it them or was it me? You know, and it's like, yes, a lot was me. And I, you know, it, it's just so much easier to change yourself.

Yeah.

And then see if there's still a problem.

Yeah. And I think like as a business owner, it's really stressful. You're like, you're like, I have 11 people on my team. A lot of— they're all women. A lot of them have kids. And it's just like, it's a lot of pressure. I'm like, wow, if I don't post on social media, like, that's how we make, you know, that's how we make money. And it's like, it's a lot of pressure. So it's normal for the business owner to feel really stressed out. And it's normal for that to pass through the team. But, but it doesn't create the, the best environment for every— for even the business owner too. So it's like, how do we How do we take like 2 minutes before the meeting, do this quick exercise, and then you're giving off a totally different energy in the meeting.

Do you have anyone on your team that you— do you do this with your team?

I should do it more with my team. I, um, so I have a teacher training program and I start the teacher training program. We do monthly calls and I start every monthly call with just this quick exercise to kind of calm the nervous system as we're waiting for everyone to get on. And then once everyone's on, we, we jump in.

She was just— for anyone who couldn't see, you were just rubbing your forehead like up and down. And I was like, why does that look so— does that look soothing? I was like, why does that look so soothing?

Because it is very soothing. Yeah. Oh, we're going to do this more, right?

I, I hair twirl like a maniac.

I love that.

What else should I do? Do this instead?

I don't know.

Can I do this on I can't do this on podcasts, really. I get away.

Oh, you want like a secret?

Yeah, of course I do.

This is one that I do on the plane. You can go like this and then you're just going to take it on the side of your ear and you're going to rub up and down. Down this way? Yeah. Yeah. And like, you can do it on a call. Oh, yeah, for sure. Yes. You can just kind of be like, aha, da da da da da. And no one really knows. Nobody knows but me. Yeah. Like, I'll do this while I'm waiting to get on a Zoom call. It's quite nice. It's quite nice.

Yeah, we should. We should have been doing all of these the whole time. Yeah, just the whole—

I know, the whole conversation.

We would be like, cuddled, soothed by the end. I'd be sleeping on my back by the time this was over.

Exactly. And then another one that's really good to do, especially if you're just like belly button up. On a call or even at a desk is just gently tapping.

She's going right, left, right. She's just patting right, left, right on her knees right now. That is nice.

And, and this is the bilateral stimulation similar to what you get from a walk.

Yes. This just makes me want to do that old, you know, the horse galloping thing. Probably doesn't serve the same purpose. Maybe it does.

I don't know. Yeah. Well, what's interesting is like kids kind of naturally do a lot of this.

Totally.

And then I think we just socialize ourselves out of the self-soothing.

Yeah, I think we should bring it back. It looks weird.

I think we should. So that's what, like, I'm trying to make it cool again.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Just a bunch of, bunch of women sitting around just like doing all the things. Sounds great. I mean, we used to do all sorts of stuff like that.

You're right. Exactly.

Totally do that.

Exactly. I was on a beach in Europe and and I saw a woman doing her toes like this when she was laying. And I was like, yes, I don't know if she knows that she's doing a somatic exercise right now, but she's definitely regulating her nervous system.

She's in Europe and happy.

Yeah.

You know, she knows what she's doing.

She's living her best life.

Exactly. Well, I'm so grateful for you. Thank you for coming on. This has been so much fun. I really, like, needed this right now in my life because I know I need to get some of that energy moving. Move through. And even though walking is amazing, it's like I need some tools during the day.

Yeah.

And some for sleeping, which is incredible. Yeah. Thank you for that. I know everyone's going to take so much from it. You guys go and grab this book, When the Body Speaks. I think it's going to be life-changing. Everybody has something that they're dealing with, something that this is going to help with. So I will link up your book. You guys go ahead, go down to show notes. You can see where you can go grab the book. You can go see where you can follow her. And she has all of her programs on her Instagram page as well, but we can link those up as well. So thank you again.

Thank you so much for you.

So guys, we will see you next time. Earn your happy.

Bye everyone.