How to Show Up When You Feel Like You Have Nothing Left

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If you're someone who in life knows that they are a builder and they wanna play big, then you're gonna have really big bad and beautiful seasons. It's what you sign up for. There's going to be a lot of things that are going to try to rock you. There's going to be a lot of things that are going to try to throw you off of your path. And these are the decisions where you say, who do I get to become because of these challenges? Because without them, you don't get to change. Hey everyone, welcome back to the show. It's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. Today I just got off of a call with our Mentor Collective mastermind people, which is one of my favorite things that I get to do. I'm telling you, no matter what is going on in my day, cuz recently I've had some pretty interesting, unique days. I will give more information on it later. You know, when you're right in the middle of something, and you're just not even prepared to discuss it yet. Um, by the way, my family life and my marriage is great. I just wanna note, just wanna notate that real quick before anybody is thinking anything. Um, but with that, I have to tell you that this has spurred so many thoughts around how many of us, whether it's in our masterminds or my friends or myself, or you listening right now, have major things that are always going on in their life. Like, there's always something big, and even when there's not, it's almost like we're bracing for something to come. And I hope that throughout everything that I'm going to be sharing over the next year from this crazy experience that I'm having right now, that you guys start to get this incredible just knowing in peaceful sense that no matter what happens in your life, that you're gonna be able to make it through and that it truly is happening for you. And I believe that one of the most challenging things is showing up in the middle. So today I wanna talk about how to show up when you feel like you're in the middle of it, how to show up when you feel like you have nothing left, right? Showing up before the breakthrough and being in that season of the insane messy portion, whether it be the middle or the end or whatever it is that you are in the middle of right now, or at the end of, that you are finding yourself in a place of understanding that this is a season and potentially a very required season. So sometimes the hardest part of success isn't starting, it's continuing when you are exhausted. It's the middle part where you're tired, you're totally discouraged, you're not getting any inspiration, you're questioning everything, and you are still expected to show up. Like, you have clients, you have family, you have friends, you have a podcast. Like, people don't really get it. Like, they get it in their own version because it's happening in their life, but it's really hard for people to kind of step out and get into your shoes. And sometimes that can feel really lonely. And there are going to be parts of this journey that nobody can walk with you except for God. It is you and the big guy. Literally, it is you and you. It is facing off with yourself. It is facing off with your crazy brain that doesn't feel like your own a lot of the days. It is spiraling out of control on your own, feeling like nobody can save you in this endless free fall of not knowing what the fuck you're going to do or how this is going to end. And some of the most defining moments of your life are gonna happen when nobody is gonna be able to support you. No one's around you, nothing is working, you feel like there's no end in sight, and you still decide to keep going. And this, my friend, is what separates everybody else. This is what is going to make you the person that you came here to be. You have to trust me on this. God is not going to put you in a situation that you cannot handle and that you cannot transform. So the real test is not showing up when it's hard, right? The real test is not showing up when you're not sure. The real test is showing up when it is a fucking shitstorm bomb and you just keep powering through. And let me tell you, some days you need to call it at 3 PM, right? Some days you're like, I don't even know if I can go on emotionally. I'm not even sure if I can go on because I need to know the next step and I need help. Maybe I need a walk, maybe I need a prayer, maybe I need to call a friend, maybe I need a lifeline. But you are going to continue to get through. So the things about the middle that most people are waiting on is they're waiting for a new idea, they're waiting for more motivation because they think it creates action. But instead, we have to remember that step by step, one step in front of the other, is what's going to create that momentum. And that's all that you need to get through. So your future is literally built on these little moments where you do it anyway. Your future is built on the little moments where you decide to turn down that decision that continues to keep you stuck, where you decide to say no to that person where you didn't have a boundary before, where you decide to feel all the feels instead of letting it stop you and rock you, that you just continue on in acknowledgement of the way that you feel, but it's not going to make you quit. It's not going to make you stop. I will tell you that I am having days right now where I feel like absolute ass. Like, I don't even understand how I'm functioning at the keyboard, but I am continuing to just show up and figure it out. Like, I don't even know how to figure out some of the things that I need to figure out, not even close. But Claude is my best friend. My really close friends are my best friend. My people who are way smarter than me are just— I'm consistently texting people asking for answers. You guys, it does not— when you are in the thick of it, or you are trying to get to the next level, or something is going on in your life that absolutely sucks, like, you're gonna feel like there isn't an answer through, and you have trust that there is. You have to trust that one foot in front of the other in the dark is what is gonna get you through. So the middle seasons are where your identity, your next level, this next version of you that you are dying to be, is built in the dark, in the middle season. It's when you're not winning, it's when you're not feeling confident and results are not rolling in, right? It's in the uncertainty. But success truly is only a measure of the uncertainty, uncertainty that you are able to sit in and move forward and still create progress. It's the silence, it's the rejection, it's the exhaustion. That is where you are going to be created, because these are the seasons that introduce you to the strongest version of yourself. And I can't tell you how many that I have had with this company, how many of these seasons I have had with Glossier. I mean, taking on anything that is new to you, which is everything, right? Everything that you have ever done is new to you in the beginning. But if you're someone who in life knows that they are a builder and they want to play big, then you're going to have really big, bad, and beautiful Seasons. It's what you sign up for. And one of the things that I've always prayed that I can be for women is a voice of, I am right here with you. Like, I am going through this with you. I am standing by your side. And I do believe that together we can get through it. I believe that with God and with friends and with a network, this is the way to forge forward. And if you are somebody who knows that they are a builder, if you're someone who is a dream chaser, if you are on the planet to be that, to chase down your dreams, to tell other people about it, to create something amazing. You're also going to create things that don't work. You're also going to create things that have a lot of problems. You're also going to create things that you have to completely change your identity in. And unfortunately, some of your friends and some of your family aren't going to get it, and some of them aren't going to go with you, and some of them are going to absolutely turn on you. And these are the moments when you decide, why are you here? Why are you here? And you have to take those stories and turn them into something that can help transform others. You have to create meaning or your life will feel meaningless because there's going to be a lot of things that are going to try to rock you. There's going to be a lot of things that are going to try to throw you off of your path. And these are the decisions where you say, who do I get to become because of these challenges? Because without them, you don't get to change, by the way. I really want you to think about the times that have massively changed you, the times that you've been able to really help a friend through because you went through hell on your own. Those are the things that unfortunately, when we wish for a big life, we are calling those things in, because that is how you change, is through challenge. In fact, if you want to accelerate change, you accelerate challenge. Hence why people sign up for 10Ks, why they sign up for marathons, why they sign up for ultramarathons, why they sign up to be entrepreneurs, why they sign up for big goals, why you put a lot of money down on things, why you get investors. It's because you want to accelerate something, which also means you're going to accelerate your experience, which is good and bad, which means every single day you are accelerating the challenges and problems into your life. Which makes you feel like you are not yet the person who can handle those, because why the hell would you be if you haven't gone through this yet? And you're going to be changing while it's happening. So today I had somebody asking about, you know, feeling like they're not changing their identity fast enough to keep up with these opportunities and all of these things and challenges and, and problems that are also coming with playing big. And, you know, the only answer that I had for her is you don't feel like that next level version of yourself while you're in it, because you're being challenged, you're being like literally expanded. And when you think of how diamonds work, they do not happen until there's just mass amount of pressure. And I'm pretty sure they're not like, oh my God, I'm becoming this amazing thing. It's just what happens. It's the result of pressure. And so pressure is a very positive thing, but when you're in it, it feels like pressure, and pressure feels like shit. And a lot of people choose to retreat from pressure because that is the normal human response to when something is very uncomfortable. This world sure knows how to show up with a shitload of comfort and a shitload of reasons why you should not go on and why you could play the victim with no problem. So I want to remind you that you don't need to be 100% all the time during this. You literally just need to keep on moving. Because just showing up during this time is super powerful. Just showing up can look like sending some emails, staying on top of your inbox, if that's even possible, recording your podcast tired and talking about what's going on in your life. Maybe it looks like you can't do your normal workouts, but you try to take a quick walk every morning. Maybe it looks like asking for a ton of help, or doing just one more thing on that list that you know is going to move the needle, and then calling it a day. So the goal during the The goal during this season is not hitting perfection, not even remotely. The goal during this season is one foot in front of the other, even if that has to become your fucking mantra every single day. One foot in front of the other. You will get through. God literally would not put you in something you can't handle. It is refinement. It is turning you into something you won't even be able to imagine on the other side. Girlfriend and guy friend, whoever is listening, say your prayers. Protect your mind when it feels heavy. Be careful what you consume when you feel vulnerable and who you talk to, because your hard season is gonna totally distort your perspective. It's going to try to take over your brain. It's gonna tell you things that are not true, and it's even gonna start feeling permanent. It's gonna feel like your luck has run out. And instead, I want you to ask, what is this trying to teach me? How is this strengthening me? What is this preparing me for instead of punishing me? Oh my God, I have such a weird religious belief that I'm like, is this punishment? It is not punishment, it's preparing. And a challenge is what gives you those gifts, it's what changes you.

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So you guys, I want you to remember that your brain is gonna try, like, it's gonna try to hijack you and sabotage you more than anything you've ever experienced in your entirement, in entirement, entirement of your life, in your entire life, and your environment is gonna matter more than it ever has, ever. If your energy is low, I'm talking, you better take extra walks. You better be listening to amazing podcasts. You better be trying your best to read books. You better get around your positive friends. You better turn that shit off on your television that is hijacking your nervous system. You better get away from the people who are telling you the world is bad. You better run because you need every support system right now during these seasons for rebuilding. So some seasons truly are for output, right? It's for those rocket ship moments. And some are for like containing your energy, keeping yourself safe during that time and rebuilding. So not every season is gonna look externally successful. Like, that's never going to happen. That's not actually how success even works. Sometimes success is stepping back. Sometimes it's falling apart. Sometimes it's reassessing everything. Sometimes it's blowing it up. Sometimes it's just burning it down. And some seasons are healing seasons, some are clarity sessions, right? It's like a recalibration season. And figuring it out is not failure. Figuring it out is figuring it out. And so I want you to remember that there's gonna be a lot of people who aren't gonna get what season you're in. And it does not have to look good. It does not have to be polished. And people are not going to see all the season. We don't see all the seasons of the people when they're crying, they're doubting themselves, they question everything, they feel empty. They're scared they lose money. Nobody sees those, right? Nobody is consistently showing that online. But people don't need perfection from you right now. They just need honesty. They just need you to be you, to ask for help so they can show up for you. And your willingness to show up totally imperfect is gonna give people so much permission. So I want you to remember this season, if you're in it, is not asking you to be the most confident version of yourself. It's just saying don't quit and put one foot in front of the other, and I promise you, you're going to get through and you're going to be better for it. And it might even be asking you to look at something, to really deeply look if something is truly for you or not, or if something is trying to remove it from your life. And I promise you're going to look back one day and realize that it wasn't breaking you, but it truly was building your capacity. So you guys keep showing up, even if it's such a shit show, if it's messy, if it's slow, if you feel incapable, if you feel like you have no idea why this is on your plate because you feel too weak to support it, too weak to go through it. I promise you, when you feel weak is when you are changing. It is insane. If you don't quit, your weak spots are gonna become the crazy places where you got strength. Right? When you go to the gym and you try to rebuild a muscle, or when you're trying to gain your booty, like literally you feel weakest because you're getting broken down before the build. So don't forget it, you guys. I am here right by your side through all of this. Life is literally meant to be lived, enjoyed. It is not meant to be in fear. It is not meant to feel horrible all the time. You can find joy and you can experience challenge in the very same day, and you owe it to nobody to feel bad or worried or anxious. You deserve joy. You deserve to keep showing up to your life in a powerful way, and you also deserve to give yourself a hot second if you fucking cannot go on, right? Give yourself a minute. Call a friend. Take a second for your soul reset, because nothing is going to change from a place of absolute breakdown. So I'm sending you guys all the love in the world. I'm so grateful for you. Thanks for listening in for 10 years, if you have. Maybe you're new here. Hi, thanks for coming. But I would also love to celebrate with you. I am having a big event with Natalie Ellis from Boss Babe, who is releasing her brand new book and I am celebrating 10 years of the Earn Your Happy podcast. It is on June 13th in Newport Beach area, California. We would absolutely love, love, love to see you. I will drop the link into show notes, and it's going to be the most fun afternoon of the most epic women. We have some incredible women coming who are going to also be on the panel, but also, you guys, we're going to connect you in the audience. So if you're like, I don't know where my people are I don't get to hang out with all of these epic women. You can actually change that. Like, you actually get to decide that you could come to an event where these incredible women are, where you could go meet people, and you could stop saying that because you took action on it. And you could leave with some really great contacts who could potentially be lifelong friends or best friends or future business partners. That's up to you. So we're going to provide the room, we're going to provide the connection exercises, we're going to provide making sure that some awesome people are there, but You gotta show up. So I'm sending you guys so much love. I hope that we get to celebrate with you. Please let me know if we get to, just DM me and I will talk to you next week. Bye everyone.