How To Step Into Mastering Resistance

We are always doing that little extra step, that little extra something where we show up and then we gain something because we showed up as opposed to anyone else who might not push through and take that extra step.

And we're back with another episode of He Said, she Said.

By the way, what's up, babe? You are in Miami and I'm in Newport Beach.

Yes. If you guys can't tell by the audio quality, I'm actually on my phone in my hotel room and we are doing our He Said, she Said. And I am here for a product mastermind. Now, I've been to a lot of masterminds before, but never specifically for selling products, whether it is online or retail. And I don't know anyone here. I know one person, but she is going to be busy learning about her own business. But for the most part, I do not know a soul here. And that brings us to our topic today, Chris. What are we talking about?

Mastering resistance. And what you just described is an introvert's nightmare. I'm like an extroverted introvert. So I'm at the core, I'm an introvert and social interactions are awkward for me. Familiar interaction is great. Social ones, oh, I don't know why they're so painful and they create so much resistance. So the idea of going like that's massive resistance.

Oh, yeah. Honestly, you and I have been on a few separate. Our schedules have been taking us to different places. You've been traveling without me. And we are not number one. We're not used to that. We are usually together all of the time and we prefer it that way. And there's resistance right there. Kind of like doing something without you. I'm like, eh, I'd rather be doing it with you. And then to constantly be doing different things, new things. I've been in different cities, speaking on different stages in rooms where I don't know a lot of people. And there has been so much resistance in my life lately. Not to mention even my work life has been really, really challenging. Like, I am at max discomfort. And Chris, you know this, but even my body broke out in like this crazy stress rash that's been here for like two weeks. Like covered my torso and neck and back in this stress rash breakout because I'm in so much resistance. And we wanted to bring this up because I think people from the outside looking in think that it must just be easy for us or these opportunities are like, you know, the most exciting, best thing to ever happen. And yes, they are. And I would never wish them away but there's actually been moments where I found I was wishing them away and had to reframe. So that's, that's what we want to chat about today is number one, that you know, if you're feeling resistance in one area, good. That's how you know you're growing and that's how you actually reach fulfillment and long term happiness. Because I know that if I'm not hitting resistance like this, that I'm actually not going to be happy in the long run. But also, how are you dealing with it?

You know what's really interesting? You have resistance even for all the good things you want to do. So I had resistance. Remember on Sunday night I was debating like, oh, do I really feel like going to the Newport home, which is our favorite home of all the places to be, Right? For context, we're in Arizona. So Monday, Lori was leaving in Miami and I was supposed to be leaving to Newport with Bananas, our dog. And that whole night I'm like, nope, I'm going to cancel. I'm just going to stay here. It's easier. Stay here. And the problem was I kept looking at what was easier, not what would make me happier. And we do that so much in life for everything. We do it for business. Oh, what's going to feel easier instead of what decision will make me happier in the long run? Or we do it with our bodies, right? Skipping workouts or eating bad food. What's going to seem easier right now instead of what's going to make us happier in the long term? And people do it with events. You had so much resistance around going to Miami for this event. It felt easier to stay at home and stay in your comfort zone. And you're plenty busy. So you could have had good excuses, but what would have made you happier in the long term? And of course that's going to be going because you gain new friends and new knowledge and everything then unfolds easier. That's the ironic part in the future, right? So if you can master resistance training, and I know there's some nerdy parallel there to resistance training in the gym, I think you even worked this into your TED talk 100 years ago.

That was my TED Talk.

Was that the TED Talk? Yes, yes. If you can master resistance training, and in this case it's training yourself to lean into and push through the resistance, then all of the things that you really do want are going to be on your side of that, you know.

And there's so many ways that or times during this that we could have talked ourselves out of it. But I think that we ultimately know from our past experience. And you guys can borrow this if you don't have a past experience. We've never done something that we didn't want to do, meaning we've never gone through with it, even though we didn't want to do it and regret it. You know, there's always been something that we have taken from it or learned from or someone that we've met that has just like completely maybe expanded our minds or changed directions of something or was a missing piece to something. So as I was getting ready to leave for Miami, like, it's been really busy lately, guys, like, way busier than I normally am. And it just, it felt like a lot. And along with not feeling great and this freaking rash is driving me crazy. Like I could have started to say things like, well, what am I going to learn there anyway? I don't know anybody, I don't really need to go. Like, things are pretty much in order and really moving for light pink and this, this product company. And you know, what am I really going to learn from this thing? And instead of doing that, I decided to say, well, I've never not gotten something great from the times when I've been in resistance and went, anyway, I know that there's going to be magic here for me. And you know what? I know there will be. And next week when we get on the podcast, I'm sure I'll be sharing all of the reasons why it was amazing that I actually sucked it up.

And, you know, I don't think there's anything extraordinarily profound that you and I share on here. I'm just literally thinking that right now. But I think what we share is the consistent reality so that people can find themselves in it. And our consistent reality is that we are always doing that little extra step, that little extra something where we show up and then we gain something because we showed up as opposed to anyone else who might not push through and take that extra step. I mean, you could probably go back and listen to 99% of our episodes together. And that would be the common thread is there is a step in front of you that you don't feel like taking. And some people take it, some people don't. You and I have done a good job of training ourselves to take it, training ourselves to make that right long term decision. And then when you don't take that step, you might get instant gratification, but you suffer later when you do take that step, you might have A little bit of resistance. It doesn't feel good, but boy, do you love it later. And you always, you just referenced this. You always come away with something of great value if you take that step through whatever it is that you are resisting. So I'll give example right now, this morning. You know, I've got the routine with, with the dog here who is being really annoying to my left, you gotta wake up, you gotta make his food because he won't eat anything except for this fresh damn raw food that he eat. So you gotta wake up, you gotta eat his food. And then this home, you know, we don't have a yard here. So then you gotta walk him so you can go to the bathroom while his food is cooking. Then he needs a three mile walk because, you know, he's young and needs all that energy. Plus, let's be honest, I need the three mile walk. And then this is where the resistance will set in. I'll be like, ah, that was a three mile walk. That was already a lot of activity. It's been a busy morning. Maybe I can get away with not going to the gym. That's where my resistance will show up today. But I know it's funny, as I'm saying this out loud, I already know I'm going to end up going. It's like someone already told me at the end of the movie because I've trained myself to say nope, that one more step into resistance is how I operate. It's like this has to become your default. And when it becomes your default, decisions around resistance become easier. Does that make sense?

Oh yeah. I mean, I have had so much resistance around the gym lately because my schedule has gotten so much busier. You know, I know that you have the 11am rule, but I have, I've recently taken on some other people in my business as well and we're all in different time zones and I have to be getting on calls earlier and things just have to roll out before I do. Launch of this new company starting in the spring. So not only is my schedule busier, but it also got earlier. And for me, the first thing that wants to go is my workout routine. And I know that without that I don't function as well, I don't feel as good. And I know I'm going to pay for it in the long run. But the resistance right now around eating good and working out is high. So I'm really, I think what I'm doing is to motivate myself is I'm really looking to the future. Like I'M projecting my decisions. If I make bad decisions into the future and saying, okay, you think it's bad now, you're gonna literally hate where you're sitting in six months or a year if you continue to not eat well and if you continue to not work out because you're not gonna have the energy that it takes to sustain a company like this or a life like this. So it's absolutely doable and manageable if you just tear off the band aid and face the resistance head on in the morning and do the things to take care of yourself. Because that one snowball decision. It's not just about the one decision, you guys. It never is. It's about the one decision that proves to you that you can make good decisions all day, which then gives you everything that you need to be the person that you want.

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Boy, playing that movie to the end. I know we've used that term a hundred times on here, but once again, back to consistency. You know, if you're listening, you're probably listening to say, hey, Chris and Lori have a pretty decent life. What are the ways that they put it together? What are the blocks? What are the tools? It's this consistency that shows up in the show all the time that I was referencing earlier. And we've built the consistency of stepping into and through the resistance. So let again, put you on a spot right now so we can put a bow on this. What is one thing that you have a resistance around today that you're going to commit to doing?

Well, I just did it. I just ran three miles. I woke up and ran three miles. I'm meeting someone that I'm really excited to meet for lunch. And I had so much resistance around even sending the text and asking to get together down here because it's someone I really admire and look up to and she's done incredible things. And I have so much resistance around it because it's like, okay, what are we going to talk about? What if I, you know, am not smart enough? What if I. What if she's like, wow, this girl really doesn't know what she's doing at all. Like, these are all the things that pop into my head, but I don't focus on those. I'm like, well, what if I can just go in and learn? What if I can just go in and listen? What if I can just go and let whatever happens and comes up be okay, even if I do feel stupid? And I know that that is how we grow. So that's my attitude. Like, okay, but what if it's magic? Okay, but what if something awesome happens because I showed up?

I love that. Okay, I'll tell you what mine is. I commit to going to the gym, even though I went yesterday and it's supposed to be every other day schedule, I've got the time for it today, and I know that I want to go, and I know that I need to go, and I know that I'll have resistance around going after taking bananas on his walk. So, babe, when I check in with you later today, I'll have gone to the gym.

Oh, I love it. And I know you will have because you just said it out loud. That's another huge thing. Guys, just commit to it. Like, commit to it the night before, before and commit to it. Morning.

Tell somebody the accountability of telling somebody.

Yeah. All right, you guys, we are so grateful for you. Chris, anything coming up for you?

Yeah. Don't forget to text me for a positive money mantra every single morning that you wake up. You know, I wake Lori up to a mantra. It's I'm happier, healthier, wealthier, more fit than I was yesterday, by the way. You guys talk about consistency. I texted to her when we're away. It's not just when we wake up. I literally wake up and I text, hey, babe, I'm happier, healthier, wealthier, more fit than I was yesterday. Well, I make up a different money mindset mantra every single morning for you guys so you can see the day through a positive set of lenses. And if you want to be on that list, text me the word daily. That's how I know to put you on the list. Text me the word daily 2310-421-0416. Again, text me the word daily to 310-421-0416, and I'll send you a positive money mantra every single morning. All right, babe, I love you. I miss you.

I love you, miss you. All right, everyone, we will see you next week.

Bye. Bye.