How to Win People Over in 30 Seconds

What is it that I would actually like to get out of this event? Am I going this year just because I really, really want friends that I'm going to stay connected to outside of that? Okay, if that's the case and I write that down, how am I going to go into this with the intention of continuing these friendships after and go in armed with a couple ideas like that? And that's going to feel pretty bold, that's going to feel pretty audacious, but you're never going to leave with something that you want if you don't do that. Foreign. And we're back with another episode of He Said, she Said.

I got something really exciting. Seats are filling for our at home VIP weekend Mastermind where you guys are literally coming to our home. So we are inviting you, especially those that are podcast listeners. I think everyone that came last time, almost all of them were podcast listeners for a long time because they were so excited about being on the podcast. Because that's one of the features of coming to our home for the VIP weekend in mid October is we interview you on our show and it drops on my platform and it drops on your platform, Right? So both shows mega exposure and you get to talk about your history, you get to talk about what you do, what you're passionate about, what your business is. It's just really cool.

You know, I think what most people don't realize is it's not just about being on the podcast and having that air, you know, for the time that it airs. It's an episode that stays forever on the platform. Not just that you get the professional reels that are obviously made for you. And then you get all of the footage because we are filming in our in person studio in our home. And then you also get to put that on your one sheeter, which if.

You don't, it's on other big shows.

You should know what that is and we can teach you that when you're here if you don't know. But you can put that you are on a top 25 entrepreneurial app, Apple Podcast, and then you can send that to other podcast hosts so that they can hear what you sound like. And your likelihood of getting booked is so much higher. Higher.

It's the hat.

Once you've been on a large show.

I literally, when people want to be on our shows, I look at them like, oh, what shows have you already been? Oh, you've been on this guy's. Oh, you've been on this girl. And then I'm like, okay, they must be Cool.

Yep.

It's like the way to kick the gate open, basically. But we're only talking about being on our show. The whole weekend is a Mastermind. Two days, a dinner, the photo shoots around the house, the ocean view in our home. Everything is an inspirational mastermind where we are working on your business as individuals. Lori and I are. Nick is who, you know, runs. He's our CEO, runs everything for all of our stuff. And then the other Mastermind members are working on your business. And it's a small, tiny, intimate group where for two days, we're rolling up our sleeves, we're getting to know each other, and we're doing some surgery on everything that you need for your business. I was listening to testimonials on this reel that our team was making for us. Yeah, they are amazing. They're like, I made 10 times my money by the end of the weekend of what the investment was. One idea was worth it in the first 10 minutes. Like, just awesome stuff comes out of the masterminding, not to mention being on the podcast.

Yeah, guys, it's. It's new ideas. It's looking at what you are doing to see if that is still working. It's looking at where you're undercharging. It's looking at how you can optimize your business. It's looking at how to get yourself out of the things that you don't love anymore and back into your zone of genius so you can make more money. It's looking at where you're leaving money on the table. It's so insane to be with 10 other businesses to learn all of the things that are and aren't working. Like, I don't understand why entrepreneurs don't go and work with mentors. Because you're just gonna do the same damn thing and be stuck in the same place for the next year or five years or ten years until you go learn from people who are ahead of you.

I'm not kidding. You just nailed it. You're going to spend two or three years learning what we could share with you in one weekend. No joke, no exaggeration. So anyhow, that's enough hype right now. Hit pause. Go to Chrisharder Me weekend. Check it out and grab a spot. It's a freaking bargain. Probably the best product that we have right now at this very moment. Go to Chrisharder Me weekend. That's Chrishutter Me for slash weekend. All right, so speaking of weekends, this weekend, you are going to your best friend Lindsay's powerhouse women's Event. This thing has grown and grown and grown. Every last year it took a mega step. It went from a really big event to a mega event. 800 women, I don't know.

Crazy.

No idea how many countries they come from, but it's really cool. And what I wanted to ask you about today was I had some of my. One of my individual, I won't say who, one on one clients. Just she asked me, she's like, I'm kind of freaking out about going, how do I make the most of it? How do I meet new people? Am I supposed to ask for, you know, a favor right away? Or how do I start relationships? And then somebody on our mentor collective Mastermind asked the same question. She's like, hey, I'm going to the event. I was wondering if you had any tips on like, how to network, how to meet people. When do I make my ask? How do I not come off thirsty? All that stuff. So I want to ask you, you've been going to this event forever. It's your best friend's event. You've run events like this. Step one, what should women at this, or people at events in general, but in this particular one, women. What should women be doing when they want to meet other women at this event? They walk in, they're kind of intimidated. They're looking around. There's six or 800 women. How did they start?

Okay, I love this question because I am of course going to answer for the event. But you guys, this applies to dinners that you go to for work. This applies to gatherings at different people's homes. This applies to being in an elevator with an important person. Like, you guys want to first start with an intention. Like, always know what it is that you would want or a question that you would want to ask somebody, whether it's to be interested in them or something that you need. I think it's important to always sit and kind of take inventory of where you're at in your life. Because when you get opportunities, if you don't know what you want, if you don't know what you need, and if you don't know what you're struggling with, and if you don't know how to be interested in others, you're just. You're screwed. Like, you're going to be so looked over because you haven't honed in on any of these skill sets. So when you're going to an event like this, I think it's important to just take 5 minutes, 15 minutes, sit with a journal or sit with the notes section. Of your phone and say, what is it that I would actually like to get out of this event? Am I going this year just because I really, really want friends that I'm going to stay connected to outside that? Okay, if that's the case and I write that down, how am I going to go into this with the intention of continuing these friendships after? So if I went into it, I would go in with this idea or this sentence essentially that when I meet someone that I really click with, I want to say, hey, I'm looking for keeping friendships outside of this. I'm looking for someone who wants to stay accountable to each other. I'm thinking it could look like meeting for an hour once every two weeks and just asking each other, hey, what are you working on? What do you need? How can we help each other? And doing equal amounts of time on that call. Or maybe you meet and you're in the same area and you say, hey, I would love to do a workout every Monday with you with maybe a 30 minute coffee afterward. Like, what is the expectation on that relationship that you would like to place or ask for and go in armed with a couple ideas like that? And that's going to feel pretty bold, that's going to feel pretty audacious, but you're never going to leave with something that you want if you don't do that.

I want to back up. You know, we're talking about networking at events, trying to meet people. You're talking about after you've introduced each other, had a, you know, five minutes, 10 minutes worth of conversation. You're already talking about how do I keep this thing going? Which is a great tip. You have to take it from in person to then post event. And you have to be the one that champions that I want to talk about. Like you're looking at somebody across the room, you know you want to meet them. Well, what do you say? How do you go up to that person? Or if they come up to you, what do you say? What are the first few sentences that don't make you sound crazy, but also get the right pieces of information in so that they're interested in you.

Yes. So first of all, that was the intention that I was sharing and that's how you follow through with the intention is being armed with those questions and then following through. So if you want to be armed with even more questions of just being interesting, I think it's. Or interested, I think it's really important to go in with questions that can be reciprocated to your favor as well, and some of you might be like, oh, that seems a little weird, but this is literally how networking works. Like, I don't want to just go up to somebody and ask them questions that aren't necessarily going to be powerful for them or for me to learn. Right. Because at the end of the day, we're not only trying to learn about them and how we can help them, but we are also trying to have them learn that about us. So when I go into networking events, it's, hey, what are you working on? What are you most excited about?

That's mine.

Where are you struggling? What do you need right now? Like, those are my questions. I ask them in either, you know, like a series of four or ask them in three or whatever that looks like. Those will always be my questions, like, where are you from? What are you excited about? What are you working on? Where are you struggling? Where do you need help?

I love that.

And I've never noticed, really had somebody, if there was time, be like, what are you excited about? What are you working on? Because humans naturally want to mirror and reciprocate what you're saying to them.

Well, and I would add to that, if they don't, that's not the right person that you probably want to network with outside of there. If you meet and you're chatting somebody up for the first time for five minutes and they're not asking about you, they're probably not going to be a reciprocal person. Is there an exception to that rule Once in a while? Yes. Sometimes there's just some Chatty Cathy's out there. Yeah.

And sometimes they could be nervous.

But I gotta forget real, for the most part, the highest quality individuals are going to find a way to ask about you in that interaction just as much as talk about themselves.

Yeah, definitely. I think if you're looking for a more advanced connection to match you, because there are going to be people of all levels there who this is their first personal development event and they're not really in tune with this quite yet. So yeah, that will kind of, you'll be able to tell, I think through.

That interaction, unpopular opinion. But you do want to go find the higher quality contacts at an event like this.

Absolutely.

So, like, you better learn this game right away, you better practice it. And if you come across somebody like, oh, maybe this is their first event, I'm not saying you like walk away from them. I'm just saying spend your time looking for the higher quality contacts and they reveal themselves because you can tell that they take interest in you and Something.

That you can do that I've absolutely seen people do is if you're sitting next to someone and you're kind of creating a friendship, but it's definitely not a connect that you want to keep up. You can connect them with somebody that you're like, you know what, I met this person. I think you guys should meet because I feel like you're on similar hack.

Necting them to other people at the event or other people, you know, like, oh gosh, I know the perfect accountant for what you need. Let me connect. Can I get your information? Let me connect you. Oh, I know the perfect ads person. They're sitting over here and you bring them over and you be the connector. Oh my God, everybody loves the connector.

Yeah. You don't have to be everyone's answer.

Nope, I'd rather be the connector than the answer. You know what I mean? Here's one more thing that if you're going to an event network any but you have to have your 30 second answer, not your three minute answer. My God, people, your 30 second answer ready for whenever someone's like, oh, what do you do? Like when someone asks me that, I say, oh well, we pay the bills with a couple of pretty big podcasts and teach entrepreneurs entrepreneurship. But then our real passions are and then I talk about Frollo and talk about your glossy, right? My real passion is my baby Frollo where we're matchmaking hard and private money lenders on one side of a marketplace with all the people that hard need hard and private money on the other side, such as people flipping homes or buying investment properties and then that causes them say, oh my God, that's cool. Tell me more. Oh my gosh, I've never heard of that. Or and so it sparks the right questions back when you have your 30 second answer to oh, what do you do.

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Boom.

And it's because they know that, that the most important thing is attention. Attention.

I'm glad you said that, because you know what my answer is not when I'm meeting someone, it's not like, oh, well, I'm an investor in over 20 startups. I am a, you know, coach for entrepreneurs. I've got one of the longest standing masterminds for businesses are seven figures and above. Oh, I've got the, like, that's not my answer. And sometimes that is people's answer. I'm like, oh, my. What are you doing, dude? Like, have your 30 seconds spiel ready. Practice it, you guys. It should be second nature. I don't care if you're meeting someone in an elevator. I don't care if you're meeting someone at an event. The simplest answer. Oh, well, we've got a pretty large podcast, talks about entrepreneurship. We teach entrepreneurs as well. That's what pays the bills day to day. But our real passion right now is my startup Fellow, where we're matchmaking a marketplace, putting hardened private money lenders on one side and people that need private money loans on the other hand. Boom. Now they're asking me questions about one of those things. All right, babe, so put a bow on this thing for me. You're going to this event. You're flying to it tomorrow. Any last tips for anyone who's going and they're nervous? I know they're not going to listen to this before then, but like, any event you're going to, any other tips for networking?

Yeah, just go armed with those four questions that we mentioned. What are you excited about, what are you working on right now, what you know, where are you struggling and what do you need help with? And I think that those, whether it's a dinner party, whether it's someone you're just meeting, I think you're going to learn so much about people. And you know, as long as you have those, you're going to be. You're going to be the most interested person in the room, is the most interesting person to the people that are there. And I don't want you to forget that. And I also don't want you to get stuck on having too hard of an agenda of who you need to meet and what you need from this event or what you need from this dinner party. You have to go in there with the intention, but. But hold it loosely.

So play the long game.

Play the long game and look for the magic. Like, allow the magic to happen, because A lot of times the intention I go in with is not the magic that I come out with. So play the long game and know sometimes you're going to go to stuff and feel like maybe something didn't happen and then you might realize later that it actually did.

Here's how I play the long game with these things. Ready? My goal is never to make the ask. My goal is to start the relationship. That's it. I'll make the ask after I start the relationship. When we're having coffee or a follow up zoom or a phone call or something like that.

Oh my God, that's such a good rule to. I've just never heard it put that way like I've done.

I never go with the goal to make an ask. It's to start the relationship.

My gosh. I just have to say this is one thing that is like putting people on the spot that you just meet and asking her or something is one of the most uncomfortable situations I have ever been in that you actually start to avoid the person. So guys, make the relationship. Do the ask afterward. Don't do it the second you meet someone.

Amen. All right guys, well, good luck with any event that you go to. It can be one of the most powerful ways to grow your network, which therefore grows your business. And if you want to be in a small, intimate, hands on network at our house mid October, right now, at the end of the show, go to Chrisharder Meekend and come join us at our VIP weekend and be on our podcast. It's the best freaking thing on the planet. Chrisharder me forward slash weekend. All right guys, thanks for listening. Appreciate you.