How You Can Speed Up Your Comeback Rate

Your comeback rate is the rate at how quickly you come back from a setback. And if you are relying on yourself to do that, remember, when you're in your lowest moment, you feel your weakest. And when you're your weakest, you don't have the strength to push yourself back in the game. So you need other people to push you back in the game to accelerate your comeback rate. That has been our secret all along.

And we're back with another episode of He Said, she Said.

Speaking of being back, Girlfriends and business is back. Tell them about it, babe.

Oh, my God. Girlfriends and business is back. And we get to all be in a room together in the new year 2024. Making best friends for real. Making best business friends. I swear to you. Like, these are the rooms that you find the people that you're going to come up with.

Yeah. Picture this like 60 business women, like entrepreneurs in one room on February 3rd, in person in Scottsdale, all collaborating, learning from each other, seeing super dope speakers, being like, okay, this is my plan, or I just expanded my dreams this year. Like, that's really what it is.

And I have to say, truly, I know that I'm one of the best people with curating rooms that really make people connect and make you feel comfortable and make everybody put their guard down. So I can honestly tell you, I don't think there's one person who has ever felt left behind at Girlfriends in business because we make sure that everybody is being seen, everybody is being connected with, and everybody is asking for what they need. And that is super intentional from start to finish. And even the prep that I have you guys do before you come. And yes, you belong there. If it intimidates you, it probably means that you are meant to be there because you're not meant to be in the rooms where you're the smartest person and you're not nervous. That doesn't grow you, that wastes your time. So go to the rooms where you are, the person where you know you're going to grow a ton from the people in there who people are ahead of you, who you feel intimidated to show up. And it's going to be the most fun day, and I can't wait to see you there.

What is the least expensive way to get into the room with you, some of your friends that are speakers and the other motivated, entrepreneurial women in there. Because the tickets, if they take advantage of the flash sale, are less than 1,000 bucks. Now, compare that to Elite mastermind, which is 50 to $75,000 compare that to dinner series, which is 12 to $15,000. Compare that to roundtables, which are between 5 and $6,000. This is getting in a room for an entire day curated by you, learning from each other for less than $1,000 in person.

And honestly, this was because I truly was missing being in a room with high level women who were serious about their goals.

All right, how can they be the first to find out about the flash sale that's happening next week, Tuesday?

Well, you can text me the word workshop to 310-496-8363. That's 310-496-8363.

Text the word workshop.

Say it one more time, Lori to 310-496-8363.

All right, perfect. Now, speaking of proximity, speaking of meeting people that become your business bestie, or the one breakthrough that you needed, all of those things. Sometimes you need that person who's going to kick you back in the game, or you need that small group of people are going to kick you back in the game. You call it your comeback rate. Now, I just heard you speak at James Webmore's event. Awesome. Thousand people, whole nine yards. And you kept talking about the comeback rate. And I'm like, babe, what is the comeback rate? Define that.

Your comeback rate is the rate at how fast you come back from a failure. And so many people are still coming back from something that happened in fifth grade, meaning they are still stuck on a story of something that their teacher said to them and it threw them down a spiral that they didn't come back from, that they feel like their confidence was totally defeated, deflated. And this happens to everybody all the time, every day. There is something every single day that will try to burst our bubble, cut us down, bench us, literally every single day. And you know your comeback rate. This relates so much to sports when we think of professional athletes. I love watching football with you. It's so much fun because not only do I watch the game, but my analyzing side analyzes the type of brain that they have to have in order to be successful. And I've watched kickers completely freaking fail at a kick and have multiple kicks.

Mr. Kugel. Yeah.

Now, I've watched a kicker who literally misses and everybody boos and thinks they suck and they're like, oh my God, that could have been the game winning point. And what happens is if that kicker would get in their head for even 10 minutes, for even 10 minutes, he potentially could truly go on to continue to lose the game when he gets called out Again. And so that kicker has to focus so, so hard on what he's focusing on and on the next play. And the best professional athletes never think about what happened. They forget about what just happened, and they say, what's the next play?

Yep.

And that is a comeback rate. That is how fast you come back from things. And what you have to remember is it's not just about, yes, the kicker could get in their head, but I guarantee the teammates around this kicker are not saying, you suck. I can't believe you did that. I guarantee they're like, man, it's all good, man. We're going to go out there. We're a team.

I believe in you. We're going to get them on the next one.

When you get out there, we're going to get them because these people that you're surrounded with, they're also successful. Obviously, if you're on a winning team, you have a winning mindset. And so what happens is that kicker is going to have a really fast comeback rate because, number one, he has to know that he's working on it. Number two, he has to surround himself with other winners who are going to help him come back faster. And so these are the things that I have done in my life. To have a faster comeback rate is to surround myself with people who are successful. But not just that. You can do that all day long. In fact, I see a lot of people do that and still not win. We see it a lot in some of the different masterminds that we're either in or that we've had where people can be in the mastermind, but once in a while, there's one or two people who just. They don't utilize the group.

Yep.

So we've had different people where I have even been in a mastermind for a year before where I was like, man, I don't think I got the most out of it, and I don't think my comeback rate was as fast as it could have been. I think I was down on myself a little bit more than I could have been because I didn't tap into the group. I didn't support myself and set myself up to say, you know, I really could have used the group or asked this question here and probably saved myself two weeks of feeling bad or saved myself six months of more failure by asking this group that I was in, what I should do.

Well, I just had a specific example of this. It's funny you bring up a mastermind. So I was having trouble with something with the app. I'm building, right. Most of you know I'm building an app. It's called Frello, a Friendlier loan. It's a peer to peer lending app for small personal loans. It's the biggest undertaking in fintech that anyone has done in a long, long time. Right? And so because of that, you're going to run up against some hurdles, some headwinds. And I was really having a challenge in one specific area with this app. And so I went to a friend who I met in a Mastermind like eight years ago, Bill Glaser. I went out to lunch and I said, hey man, I feel like I'm failing. Here's where I'm having a problem. And he, in that one lunch was able to kick me back in the game. Say that's actually not a problem. Look it, here's this, this and this. That's going on in economy right now. Here's this, this and this. That is already unfolding in your favor. And here's this, this and this that. You just have to solve these couple of things and you're right back in the game. Right? So I left the lunch break. Oh my God. This is just a normal challenge. I'm totally fine. Everything's on track. My comeback rate, because of having Bill to call on, who is a very seasoned entrepreneur, a very successful entrepreneur, he's raised over $300 million for other people's companies and a ton for his companies, he was able to say, dude, that is nothing. Let me put that into perspective for you. And I left feeling on top of the world. So my comeback rate was faster because of somebody who I met in a Mastermind like freaking 8 years ago and just carried on a lifelong friendship with. You had this happen too back when you were trying to sell your book? Tell that story.

So I had written a book proposal and you know, when you go and pitch these book proposals, I have to tell you, you don't oftentimes get the nicest replies. Sometimes you do, sometimes you don't. Because they look at so many different things and they're just, they take the emotion out of it and they're just real about where they're at from their experience. So my book goes and gets shopped, the proposals get sent. There's only about 22 that we're pitching. There's not a ton of big publishers that I was hoping for. And there were, you know, out of the 22, probably 10 that I was like, I'd be really happy with these. And these replies start coming back and they're all Negative, pretty much. They're just like, this is a pass. This book's been done before. This is fluff. No, this isn't good. This doesn't fit the timeline, whatever, all of the things. And so I have a friend contact me who's ahead of me in the game. She had sold a book, she got a really great book deal. And she was like, look, I can get you into this meeting. I think it might help. I don't know, they usually only publish celebrities or people with millions of followers. And I was like, okay, I'm gonna take this call. But this could go one of two ways. It's either going to go really well and I'm going to be celebrating at the end, or it's going to go really bad and I'm going to feel terrible because they're probably going to tell me something negative about the book or about me or why they don't want to invest in me. And so I decided to ask a couple of my friends to book a call with me about 30 minutes or an hour after this call, initial call. And I said, hey, you're either going to be on this call with me and you are going to be cheering with me, we're going to be celebrating about what comes of it, or you're going to be picking me up off the floor because I'm going to spiral out because I'm already not in a great place. From These other responses, 2026 is the.

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So I booked this call with this publisher and then I booked the call with my friends and I get on the call and what happens? It does not go well. In fact it is so deflating that I am on the verge of tears during the call the whole time. I'm so glad it wasn't Zoom because downright rude call. It was not good.

It was rude. It was awful.

Like I was wasting their time and they were not happy that I was on the call and so I felt awful. I was like oh my God this is proving Everything that I've had in my head, that I'm not smart enough, that I can't do this. What was I thinking? I didn't graduate high school. I don't have a big enough following. They can't even believe that I would be trying to get this opportunity from them. And so what would have happened if I wouldn't have had this call with my girlfriends?

You might have quit right there. You might have quit trying to sell your book. You already had 20 rejections and now this was the most insulting rejection of them all. It might have felt like this is it, this is the end.

Yeah, that's exactly how it would have felt. And instead I get on this call, I'm crying, I tell them how it goes, I tell them how awful it was and the awful things that they said. And they were like, okay, great, who cares? They suck. They don't know you. They don't know who needs this book. They don't know your story. They had me in a matter of 15 to 20 minutes on top of the freaking world, ready to run through a wall, even more confident than I was before. And they were spun it into why this now needs to be my why that I have to make this happen is because this is happening to so many different people right now and I have to come back from this. And so in a matter of 30 minutes, they had me not only back on my feet, but so ready and so prepared for one more call that I had with one more publisher and you guys, I ended up getting a six figure book deal that I wanted. I literally wanted this exact number probably two weeks after this call. And I can tell you I wouldn't have gone into the next call pitching as hard as I did and as clear as I was with so much affirmation and clarity and feeling so grounded and certain if it wouldn't have been for that call with my girlfriends. And so when I say that you have to have a really great comeback rate, but you have to learn how to create that. I support myself so much in this way that I know if there's something big on the line, I'm not going to go into hiding if something bad happens. I know that when Chris had his problem, he did not go into hiding and say, how do I figure this out? People think I'm supposed to figure this out. People have invested in me and they think I'm the guy who knows how to solve this. No, they don't. But we are the people who know how to be resourceful to figure it out. With other people. And that's what people invest in.

Your comeback rate is the rate at how quickly you come back from a setback. And if you are relying on yourself to do that, remember, when you're in your lowest moment, you feel your weakest. And when you're your weakest, you don't have the strength to push yourself back in the game. So you need other people to push you back in the game to accelerate your comeback rate. That has been our secret all along. We have the best people in the world to kick us back in the game every time. Sometimes it's you to me. Sometimes it's me to you all the time. Many times it's our other friends. But we have the best people in the world to kick us back in the game and make our comeback rate the fastest. The same as that NFL kicker or that quarterback.

I love that. All right, you guys, I would love to see you at Girlfriends in Business. That will be the most fun day. I'm telling you, beginning of the year. If you feel like you don't have these people who can kick you back in the game yet, or you don't have this group who's just, like going to hold you to the flame, that is what this group is all about. So come to Girlfriends in Business. You can again, just text me the word workshop to 310496, 8363. Otherwise, I don't know, when you're hearing this, you can maybe go to. Well, actually, you can go to girlfriends in business.com to check out exactly what it's about. So Girlfriends and business. Com, if you want to go and read right now what it's all about, you can read all of the copy there, find out what the whole day is going to be like. I'm going to have some of the speakers up. Not all of them yet, but you can go and check that out.

And there's a flash sale happening next Tuesday, the 19th. So make sure that you text Lori or go to that website before then so that you can get on that early access list.

If you guys want to make a big change, like, honestly, these are the things that do it. So if you're sitting at home going, oh, what's wrong with me? Why don't I have this? Why don't I have this? But you're not doing this. That is why. Because the people making big moves get into these rooms and that's end of story.

End of story. All right, guys, thanks for listening. Always love and appreciate you.