Is It OK To Be Aspirational?

You don't know what 13, 14 year old is out there looking at you, or 20 year old, 30 year old, 60 year old, whatever, saying, because they can do it, I can do it too. And keeping you in the forefront of their mind.

Yep. They might want your business, they might want your level of fitness, they might want your relationship, they might want your family, they may want your home. And if you're not leading by example, then who do they have to follow?

Right. And we're back with another episode of He Said, she Said.

So, you guys, you may hear dogs panting in the background or growling or wrestling or what do they call it? The collars jangling, clangling, whatever the word would be.

Dogs were having some trouble finding private spaces to record quiet time.

You know what's nice is this is really not what we're going to talk about today. But I do want to say for anybody who's, like, holding themselves back from either having a podcast or a little YouTube show or doing social media content or anything like that, because you're worried that it's not going to look perfect or it's not going to be highly produced, Guys, we are doing this right now on an iPhone that's sitting on a pillow in our master bedroom because we've got contractors out in the rest of the house and the dog's walking around us wrestling, and we're trying to get them to quiet down. So it's not perfect. It doesn't have to be fancy. Done is better than perfect when it comes to this stuff.

Yeah. If we were trying to do it in our podcast studio or trying to make it perfect, I'm telling you, it would not. It would not get done.

It would get done. We would miss episodes and all that stuff. So anyhow, permission for you guys to just move forward in the sloppiest of ways. God, that's a whole episode in itself. Like, remember my first eight episodes when I was clearing my throat and them and had to edit it out? We're gonna have to share those stories someday. But what we wanted to talk about today was is it okay to be aspirational? Right. In other words, to live a life that helps others to aspire to a new level. And really where it came from was we all love different things. Some people love clothes, some people love trips, some people love homes. For me, it's cars. Like, they are literally engineering art. They are rolling art pieces to me. And we've put together a great car collection. And one of the vehicles is just this amazing prized gem. It's a 1969 Jaguar XKE. So if you've ever seen the old ones from the 60s with the really long hoods, that's what it is. And so I pulled it out of storage this week, and obviously it was. I put on my Instagram stories because that's just my normal, everyday life. And I got such an amazing set of responses, like, just people like, oh, my God, most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Oh, my God. Thanks for leading the way. Oh, my God. Thanks for showing us what's possible. A lot of, can I have rides? And then I got one, and I always get one or two like this. That said, why do you always have to show your stuff? And I've gotten, you know, like, why are you so arrogant? Or, why are you so this. Or I always get really interesting DMs when I just show our normal life. And so it brings up this conversation, is it okay to display your normal life and be aspirational? And it's really not just stuff, guys, what if you're a super fit couple? Is it okay to show your abs all the time? What if you are the best parents? Like, absolute parent goals? Is it okay to show your beautiful family doing beautiful things all the time? Like, when did it become not okay to be aspirational?

You know, I think of this in terms of us just needing as human beings, as people who look on social media and have access to so many things. I look at this as just monitoring what you want to see. I want to see aspirational people. I want to see aspirational homes. I want to see aspirational cars, outfits. I love looking at. At that. Because I also love design and I love style. It's one of my favorite things. Like, if I have a Saturday to myself, I probably want to go and look at some things and get creative and really look at different style ideas or home ideas. Like, that is what I absolutely enjoy and love. And so for the people who, you know, message or are in a place where maybe you don't want to see that in the forefront of your mind, maybe you are in a place where you want to focus on one thing, and that feels like a distraction. It's really that decision of making it your responsibility of monitoring what you see and watch. So maybe block those people for a while or mute them or mute them permanently, whatever that looks like. And I believe that it's important to show aspirational things. I'm actually working harder on showing things in my life.

Yeah, we really hold back.

I really hold back. And it's not like I'm holding back because I don't want to show people. I just. I don't think about showing it. And when I think about the people that really motivate me, though, like, I follow some women just because I want to see their house, right? And so I'm like, please show me your kitchen. I'm, like, obsessed. I want. I want to put that on my vision board. I want to think about it, and I want to dream about it. So I think it's your responsibility if you are good at something or it's your talent or you have something to show it in a way that is like, hey, guys, let's make this possible for you too. Or. Or you can absolutely do this. If I did, I think it's one thing to be like, look what I have. But I don't think anybody listening to this podcast is coming with those intentions.

I think about all the people in my life who have led an aspirational life, right? A life that I aspire to, want to build one day. And I'm so grateful that they made what could be possible, tangible in my life. Let me explain what I mean by that. So it's one thing to know that your favorite, I don't know, jewels and gems are out there. It's another thing when your friends or people in your circle have them now. It became attainable, it became normalized in your life. It's one thing to love a priceless collector car. It's another thing to have them in your circle of influence. You know, maybe your neighbor has one. When I was a kid, my neighbors across the street. So, you know, I was middle school, and they were probably in their 50s, if I remember correctly. They did not have kids. And I would go over to their house because they had this beautiful brand new Porsche and this amazing Jaguar and this. I forget what their other car was. And they would let me sit in them because as a middle school boy, I loved cars all the way back then. And so they would let me just come sit in their cars. I wouldn't play with their kids. They didn't have kids, nothing like that. That was an example of normalizing what is attainable.

So the question to ask yourself instead of, why do they have that? Why are they showing that? Oh, that's for them. That's not for me. I'm not the type of person who could get that. The more empowering question that is possible for everyone is to say, how? And I think, what through the, you know, the time that we've been together, Chris, and surrounded ourselves with people who have been aspirational. You know, whether it was when we lost everything and we moved into that condo building and stretched our. Just to be around.

Full of aspirational people, just to be.

Around people who were successful. Because we know the power of even being around people who were successful. It allowed us to have those moments of conversations of, hey, you guys are so successful. How did you do this? Who are you around? What are you doing? So stop looking at it. If you're someone who's like, oh, God, they're just flashing everything, I want to empower you to say, how did you do that? Because it didn't just happen, you guys.

For most people, change the why into how. What is change? Why are you showing that? Or, you know, why do you always have to show it to how did you get that? How did you get there? Change the why for the how.

Yeah, absolutely. Like, hey, what made this possible for you? What mindset shift? What changed for you? Has it always been this way?

For me, I was super fit. Like, finally loved my body for the first time in my life throughout my entire 30s, and that ended in 2020, like it did for many people. So I have been so grateful to the other people who I look up to that have maintained aspirational bodies, because it's what kept it real. Like, oh, man, I'm only this far away. And now, finally, I'm coming into a season where I feel super fit again. But it's been three years since I felt really fit. But during those three years, I clung on to the people who I knew worked just as hard as us. You know, they had kids, the whole nine yards. So they had plenty of excuses to not have an aspirational level of fitness, but nonetheless, they had it. And that caused me to say, okay, I can do it too. It's not out of reach. And here I am back to where I want to be. So I love when people go first. I love when people lead the way. And the other truth is this. Like, if you really want to be mathematically accurate, somebody who gets a new Toyota Camry and is like, oh, look, I'm so proud. I got my first new car. That's no different than if some of these people get a new Rolls Royce or a new Ferrari or it's more mathematically responsible for me to get a Ferrari than for someone to go get a new Camry. You know what I mean? But people just look and get triggered by it.

So when I was young and living in my family's, home. I was probably 13, 14 years old and my whole family, my extended family, my parents, my sister, everybody, we were all overweight. And if you walked into my bedroom, I ended up losing weight. At about age 13 or 14, I really started working out and really started learning about nutrition because I would buy magazines with aspirational women on the covers. And so if you were to walk into my bedroom at 13 years old, I had hundreds and hundreds of pictures up of fitness women and aspirational women. And I'm talking so I had two closet doors and I had every inch of my closet doors covered with pictures of fitness people, aspirational women, pictures I loved. And so I clung onto those because I didn't see it in my current reality.

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And there is no way that living in the environment that I lived in that I could have done that without seeing pictures of what was possible in articles of people saying, hey, it's not just your genetics. Because that's what my family was telling me. It's your genetics. This is what, why you're overweight, you're never going to beat it. Except all of these articles I was reading that aspirational people were writing who were already there were saying, hey, how about you try eating and moving differently? And because I could see those two contrasts and because I did have all of that, you know, I just clung to the aspirational stuff, you guys, it was like every week I was like, who else can I look at? What other example? And that's really when my life changed. So that's why this is so important. You don't know what 13, 14 year old is out there looking at you or 20 year old, 30 year old, 60 year old, whatever saying, because they can do it, I can do it too. And keeping you in the forefront of their mind.

Yep. They might want your business, they might want your level of fitness, they might want your relationship, they might want your family, they may want your home. And if you're not leading by example, then who do they have to follow?

Right.

Right now? And I'll kind of start to put a bow on this, but I want to say I'm grateful to everybody who shows their life, because right now, the aspirational ones to me are like these cute, beautiful families that you see getting in their private jets and traveling all over the world because, you know, we're trying to have a family, and we want to have a very experiential family, not just one that, like, sits in one place and goes to school Monday through Friday and, you know, does the normal. We don't want normal. We want abnormally awesome. And so when I see these families, I follow them and I'm inspired by them, and they show me what's possible. They fuel my dreams. So I'm grateful for all the people in the world who fuel and who have fueled our dreams.

All right, you guys, we are so grateful for you.

Be aspirational.

Be aspirational.

That's our call to action. To you guys. Don't be shy. Be aspirational. No matter where you are in life, there are things in your life that people wish they were able to achieve. Demonstrate it's possible, and then demonstrate how to get there. You do those two things and you're not leaving anyone behind. Thanks for listening. We always love and appreciate you.

Until next time. We'll see you next week.