Mini Mindset Shifts To Be Happier and Become A Magnet for What You Want

There's always going to be something that is hard or stressful during the day. Like, there's always going to be outside extenuating circumstances that you can't control. But how can someone go through the same day as you and have an incredible day and then someone else has a horrible day? It's literally all the way that we look at it and what we're focusing on throughout that day. And we're back with another episode of.

He Said, she Said Babe before we get started. That post yesterday went crazy on the Dinner series.

I'm so excited about it, and I think I know why.

Why is that?

Is because I think people are wanting to be able to network really intentionally and accelerate the rate in which they're getting their network. But also they want to dress up.

They want.

They want something to feel like they can celebrate. They want somewhere fun to go where it feels like an event and an occasion. Truly. Like when we were creating this, I know this is going to sound crazy to some people. It is. But I knew that if we created a space where people could dress up and dress as the version of their very successful, confident self, that people would come. And it truly worked. I'm so excited about it. And the room is like one of those rooms that you want to be a fly on the wall, except if you come in, you're. You're not. You're actually getting to network with these insane, amazing, incredible business people. And not just that. We have speakers at every single one. And some of these are like celebrity entrepreneurs. These are people who have done so well. Some of the most successful people in the arenas that they're in, and they're having conversations that they don't necessarily have out in the world that you get to hear, maybe on podcasts or even in books. It's like just the things that you would die to hear that can really move the needle in your business.

Yeah, well, we cut to the chase and we have conversations about how do you really build, like, this epic network that we have built and the do's and don'ts of it and the whole nine yards. And then we make you guys literally do it. Like, we put you together in really comfortable situations, and we cause these really cool, what I call collisions. These collisions that would not happen if you're not in the room. And that's where new ideas come from or new business partners or that one missing piece. I had someone come up to me. They're like, hey, when I signed up, I kind of thought it was sus. Like, is it Going to be a cheesy networking thing. You build it as an advanced networking thing, but networking is usually so cheesy. But you guys do good stuff. So I decided I'd come. Like, they downloaded me on this whole thing, right? I'm like, okay, I hope this is going somewhere positive. And then they're like, this was the best way to meet people ever. And I was like, oh, thank God. That was what they were about to say. So I didn't know what was coming. But I think that summed up really good is everything else out there when it comes to, like, advanced networking is just kind of like cheesy feeling. This feels like an elegant, amazing Hollywood type experience with all the top performers in one location looking to do business or collaborate with each other. Anyhow, we're gonna open up about 20 more seats to the dinner series membership coming up for the May 30th one in Beverly freaking Hills. So if you want a shot at one of those 20 additional seats that we're opening up, basically it's two more tables that we'll be adding. You're going to have to be on the VIP early access list to get on that list. Text Lori and I the word dinner to 310-421-0416. Again, just text the word dinner to Lori and I at 310-421-0416. Hit pause. Quick. Text us dinner to 310-421-0416 and then come right back here because we're about to talk about your perspective and is it causing you pain?

This is just the topic that is on my mind every single day right now. And I'll probably actually, this is something we all should be thinking about every day of our lives until the day that we die. And is our perspective causing our pain? And so when you look at your pain and your stress in your life, yes, of course there is something going on there that probably really does, like, let it be okay that you are in pain or that you feel stress, but there's going to be something there every single day. So Chris and I were talking and I was talking about all of these people that we really look up to and mentors that we have who have incredibly happy lives. Except when you dig deeper, it's not that you're gonna find that they're not happy. They're insanely happy. In fact, it's really real for a lot of them that we know and that we look up to, but they have not just the same amount of stress as us, not just the same amount of problems. They have more, and they're more complex and they're bigger, and they come more frequently because they have these bigger lives, but they've mastered the art of putting it into perspective and understanding that they're not necessarily framing them as problems or stress. They're just things that are going on. And so I was thinking about all the different ways that you get better at this. And sometimes we think we have to practice on these big problems, but we don't necessarily even start with the big problems. We start with all of the little moments in life where you notice that you're losing your cool, where you notice that you're losing your temper, where you notice that you're upset about something or you think you got treated unfairly in a customer service situation. And we can be giving all of our energy to these things only to notice like, wow, I got upset 10 times already today. And it's only 10am I'm already feeling like the day is tilting towards a frustrating day. So the only difference is learning how to practice on these little things. And for me, truly, I use every little moment to see how fast I can slip back into either gratitude or letting go or reframing it.

I feel like it was my default because I do two things that are extremes. One, I totally fly off the handle over little things more than I should. But two, I have a short memory and it never ruins my day. Right. You said something to me in the car the other day. Actually, you said two things, but that are both ends of the spectrum. Yesterday when we hit traffic, I was like, ah, GD this and blah, blah, blah. You're like, why? We're sitting in a beautiful, comfortable car in Southern California having an epic day. Why are you letting a little bit of traffic bother it? And you're like, absolutely right. My perspective was throwing it awry. But every single thing in our life in that moment other than the car was moving slower than I would like, was perfect. But that's a great example of your perspective is going to make or break that moment. That was a great moment. We even had great music on. But my temporary perspective could have ruined that moment and many moments from then on. So that's an example of how it pops up in your life. But you reframe it quick. But then the other thing I do really well, if that's what I do poorly. The other thing I do really well is I've got a really short memory and I just don't like. Look, when you and I fight, you're Almost like, wait, why are you. How are you over this already? I'm like, I don't know. I just. That was five minutes ago. Like, I don't live in the past ever, ever, ever. So if I have a. A negative perspective on something, it doesn't turn out to create a negative day. You know the old adage, there's two sides to every story?

Yeah.

Well, there's two sides to every moment in your life. Sure, there's probably a frustrating side, but there's also a silver lining or positive or everything else is great side that you could choose to lean into.

You know, I have this, like, thought process, and it is joy and pain share the same lane. Like. Or joy and pain exist on the same highway. Whichever one you like more, whichever one helps you remember that there's always going to be something that is hard or stressful during the day. Like, there's always going to be outside extenuating circumstances that you can't control. But how can someone go through the same day as you and have an incredible day and then someone else has a horrible day? It's literally all the way that we look at it and what we're focusing on throughout that day. And we were just talking about this is why we do three wins at the end of every day is because you might feel like you had a bad day, and all of a sudden if you do three wins, you're like, I actually had such amazing wins today. Or I can get really grateful for the fact that this happened, or the fact that I have my health, or the fact that, oh, my God, I still got a workout in during a super stressful day, or my kids did something so cute today despite this other thing going wrong. Or I got to hug five people that I love today even though I feel like my business was crashing or whatever that looks like. And so you have to remember that life is not just like, life is made up of so many buckets. It's not just these small things. And I think the other thing that really helps me to make sure I'm sticking to this is we're constantly manifesting our reality and what we're going to get and create through our emotions. It's not through what we say. What we say triggers how we feel, but how we feel creates that energetic magnetism that people actually feel. Like, even when you guys write a post the way that it's written or the energy that you're vibrating in when you write it, this is. I mean, I'm just going to say this has been true for me, that's all that I can say. And it's also like, of course people believe, and there is quantum physics and all of the things in energy. But I can tell you that every time I've written a post out of desperation, the post fails. Like, it does not do well. I have to switch my energy and know that. That I. What I'm choosing. Like, if I'm choosing to perceive something negatively or positively and then take an action from that, that's what I'm creating in my life. So even, like, when little things, like, throw you off, like traffic, I'm like, ooh, I want to help him get back to a good place, because that energy is constantly creating more of whatever it is you're feeling.

I'm laughing because I'm looking at your sweatshirt right now. I bet you don't. Don't look down. I bet you don't even know what it says. Do.

Yeah, I do. Good vibes only.

High vibes only.

High vibes only.

I love that we're talking about this right now and you have a sweatshirt that says high vibes only. High vibes only. High vibes only. High vibes only. Shout out to Aisha, by the way. Butterfly season. I love that. You know, here's a really simple question you can ask yourself every single time you find yourself going down the wrong direction on a moment. Just simply notice the moment and say, what could be a positive reason for this happening? And it might even piss you off. You might. Chris, that's cheesy, but let's apply it to any situation. Let's go back to traffic. Okay, you hit traffic you didn't expect to hit. You're going to be late for something. What could be a positive reason for the outcome? This is what's cool is you get to make things up. You get to choose your interpretation. Maybe it's, well, I haven't had time to listen to a podcast. I'm going to put this podcast in right now. Maybe it's, well, it could be saving me from a catastrophic car accident down the road. Maybe it's, well, now I've got time to call my mom real quick because I didn't think I was going to have time. What is the positive side effect that could be created by that seemingly negative moment?

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Yeah.

Who wants the cheese? Cheesy makes you cheese, you guys. So like, absolutely, you're going to have to shift into things and do things that aren't gonna feel natural to you. Because when you do the things that are natural to you, you do what everybody else does and then you get what everybody else gets. So we were willing to put aside our ego and what we thought was cool to do things like when we did T. Harve Eker's book Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, like to do things like believe that when we write a post, if we're in a negative energy, we're not gonna get a result. If we're in an incredible uplifted energy where we believe that like exactly what the outcome we want could come from this, then that's when we start getting more positive results. It's just how it is.

You know, it's funny because your perspective determines every single outcome. Think about that. Your perspective really does. No matter what the circumstances, your perspective determines every. And let's go dark for a minute. Even if you get a horrible health diagnosis, your perspective on that diagnosis, or if your loved one does a lot of times makes or breaks a possible healing process. There's lots of data, lots of research out there where people are able to heal themselves from seemingly unhealable health situations through a lot of positive mindset that then triggers a lot of different healing in your body. And there's study after study after study on this. And so if we're going to go really dark, even if you or a loved one had something that is just a tragically life interrupting diagnosis, your perspective once again, although it's bad that it's happening to somebody, can also flip it to what are some of the positive side effects that could come out of this?

And let's just make that really big. Like let's even take the manifesting portion out of that exact example. If you Feel hopeful because your perspective is hopeful. You're gonna do a lot more things.

You take a lot more action.

You're gonna take a lot more actions that are going to help heal you. You're gonna start looking for all of the foods that can heal you. You're gonna look for more doctors. You're gonna do a lot more things that are outside of the box in order to heal. You're gonna continue to get second and third and fourth and fifth and sixth opinions until you get these answers that are going to help you where someone who is hopeless isn't going to do any of those things.

Yeah, you know, it's funny. I'm attracted to people that can find the silver lining in everything. Those are the people I want to partner with. Those are the people I want to lock arms with. Those are the people I want to support. Because when you meet someone who always sees the negative side of every event, what do you do? You kind of pull away. You kind of don't want to spend time by them and you sure as hell don't want to invest any time or energy in them because you realize they're not going to do anything with it anyways. They're just going to find the next problem. So people that have negative interpretations of moments typically self manifest more negative outcomes because people just don't want to help from you, buy from you, partner with you, give you advice or anything. They're like, ah, they're not going to do anything with it anyways. But even if you're someone who has a very unfortunate number of circumstances that seem to happen all at once or in a row, if someone knows that you're someone who's going to fight through it and have a positive outlook and a positive perspective and be able to interpret it in a way that could benefit you, then they're going to go all in on helping you and giving you that advice, giving you that bridge, giving you that whatever it is that you need.

This is so interesting because when I've been in rooms with people, even if they, okay, let's let, let's say we're having an event and it's a Q and a portion, or we're on a zoom and Q and A or whatever trying to help people, we even respond different to different the way that other people respond to us. Like we're going to give more, we're going to give less, and I'll tell you the difference. So sometimes we're on calls and people ask questions and we'll give them, you know, an Answer like, hey, what if I do this in my business? You know, what should I do? And we'll give them an answer and we'll say, well, you could try this or this. And if we get a yeah, but I don't think that'll work because of this or that. And if we get enough of those yeah, buts then we stop giving an answer and we go, okay, well, maybe you're right.

Yep.

We actually lean into what they're telling us over and over because we know we can't change that opinion. Where in the past I would have tried to keep giving advice, keep giving advice, keep giving advice. But I know that for the good of the group, we have to move on. Because I can't change that one negative person's opinion on this. And I will only put my energy nowadays into somebody who asks it differently. So even if that person had a fear and their fear is responding by saying yeah, but and telling me they can't, then I'm going to cut them off from my energy because I'm not going to be able to change that. If the other person who's positive has a fear and states it like this, okay, here's my fear around that, like, yes, that could work. Here's my fear. Let me just ask you about it. How do I get around my fear of this? And if they're like, okay, great, I'm going to try it, I will pour into that person to the nth degree because they are someone who's going to take action despite the fear and not continuing to tell me why they can't.

Here's the bottom line. I just realized most of us experience a whole bunch of twos, threes, maybe some fours on the pain scale, but we make them tens. We make them eights, nines and tens when they're really a 2, 3 or 4. And I even think some people unfortunately put them, they build that as a default muscle. So this is your moment, this is your wake up call. This is where we're putting you on notice. You're either going to choose to develop the muscle of positive perspective regardless of negative circumstance, or you're going to choose to keep on exercising the negativity muscle that compounds the negative circumstance. And that's your choice. I don't care how long you've operated one way or another, today you get that choice. And I hope you make the one that enrolls the universe and the people around you and everything else to conspire in your favor.

I mean, something fun that you guys can do. If you're partners or whatever. I think sometimes these reminders can be so annoying or you can make them playful, but it's like, is this a 10 or is this a 2? Like, decide what is a 10 in your life. And for us, a 10 of stress is like a loved one dying. And so if it's not that, it's a two. And so it's like taking it down from everything else and just saying you can have that moment where it's just like, hey, is this a 10 or a 2? And of course it's gonna be annoying when you remember to even say that to yourself or your partner says it, but at the same time, it's like, give yourself a second. That emotion's going to wash over you, and you're going to realize, this is really a 2. I can get past this. I can get through this.

Yep. It's funny you bring that up. You know, when my dad died, 10 out of 10 on pain scale. But there are so many silver linings that have come out of that, and it even feels really weird to say that out loud. But if I'm being truthful, as much as I miss him, one of my best friends in the world, there's a lot of silver linings that have come out of it that wouldn't otherwise manifest.

You know, just deepened our relationships to.

Like, with mom and everybody else and.

Made us appreciate life more than I can possibly tell you.

Value each day more, Accelerate some of the goals on. On our board, like, you name it. So I'm telling you, your reaction, how you interpret something, a lot of that pain is in the way that you're interpreting it, not in the actual pain on the scale long term.

Mm. All right, so we would love for you to come to the dinner series to meet other people who can also help you prioritize and put your perspective into place as well.

Positive people, they want to help you.

Positive people, we would love for you to be there. The next One is on May 30th in Beverly Hills. It is at the most beautiful venue. Guys, give yourself a reason to dress up to go connect with epic people.

It's going to be a scene.

It's gonna be amazing.

We're going all out Beverly Hills, Hollywood glamour on this thing. Anyhow, text the word dinner to 310-421-0416 just to have a shot at getting one of those 20 seats that are going to open up soon. Thanks for listening. Love and appreciate you.

We'll see you next week.